# It's a no-go for me!



## Feisty (Aug 14, 2000)

Hello, everyone. I apologize for not being more active on the bulletin board lately. It's been rough in a lot of ways. I also had trouble getting to this site. The computer kept telling me it couldn't open it. I wonder if anyone else had that problem? I'm so new at this computer thing, that anything is possible. If things ever look up around here, perhaps I will take a beginning computer and Internet course so I can do a few more things, etc. Had my Doctor's appointment Thursday and he refused to order the blood test for Mycoplasma. Listened to what I had to say about it, but told me he didn't feel there was really any basis for such a thing. And.....he said that if I did go on a regimen of antibiotics like they suggest, it would create havoc on my intestines. He did suggest trying some Glucosomine for tissue repair. For all the migraines----stop the Imitrex for now because of possible rebound headaches from using so much of it, and I can either continue to use the Darvocet, or I can try Vicodan (it's suppose to be 3 times stronger). So...I have a splitting migraine now and I think I'll try the Vicodan. I know I will be a zombie in a little while, so I'm holding off until I post this. I've been going through some rough days with this Fibro thing, but I feel extremely guilty even mentioning it, because I am not half as miserable as the most of you are and I feel so bad for all of you. The newest thing for me with this Fibro is that my feet hurt so much right now it's hard to walk on them. I never had that before. My toes use to feel achey sometimes, but not the whole foot. The heel, arch, ball, the whole things top and bottom. The Doctor told me that even though it hurts to walk, I should still do a certain amount to keep oxygen supplied to the tissue. So...I managed to walk the dog a half a mile tonight anyway. She (the dog) loves to go for her walk. She's a little Shiht Zu (spelling?)and I love her dearly. She's really my youngest sons pet, but I don't think she'll ever leave home!!! I told my son he could have her whenever he was ready for her, because she does belong to him; but, he had to promise me he would take care of her as well as I do! He told me he thought Cassie (that's her name) would be happier with me!!! Was he trying to tell me something?!?! And then there are the usual marriage problems and I just don't know if I can put up with it any more. I haven't been happy for so long. And he says it's just me! He doesn't have any real problems. Same-o, Same-o. We just "celebrated" 30 years and it's been a lonnnngggggg 30 years. Why do I stay? Where can I go? No money, no job. Wouldn't even be able to hold a job with all the health problems. And then I worry because if I would leave him, everyone would hate me. Guess I would learn who my true friends are real fast, wouldn't I?) And the beat goes on...... Sorry, I don't mean to be a bore. I'm sitting on this wondering if I should even post it. Noone wants to hear me rag. That's what he tells me anyway. Oh boy, now I'm really bad. Thanks for being the shoulder I needed tonight. Take care everyone. I probably won't be posting much. I get depressed because I get confused and I forget who's who, and.......it just so overwhelming. I'm crying, so I'm going to go. Even though you won't hear from me often, I do have everyone in my thoughts daily and appreciate such a place as this where I can just "let 'er rip". Thanks everyone! Sorry this got so long. That's another of my faults. I have many.


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## BOGGS (Apr 1, 2000)

Hi Feisty, Please don't think that you are a bore to any of us. That is what we are here for. Thay have been plenty of times that the people in this group has been there for me . Feel free to talk about, what ever you want, when ever you want , for has long as you want. My prayers will be with you for all the hard times that you are going through right now. I hope that you start feeling better very soon . I love to go for walks every day . It gives me a chance to get away for a while and think. I just wanted to say Hi and let you know that you are NEVER alone on this. We all understand. Take Care and God Bless. Pat


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## weener (Aug 15, 2000)

Hi Feisty:We sure do miss you. You have a great sense of humour and we miss that. I figured you were having a rough go with the fm. That's what I do too. I tend to withdraw when I'm not feeling well. My best friend use to come and drag me out of the house (just so I got some fresh air) and I usually felt a bit better after. I am also having problems getting onto this site. It just won't connect. I sign onto the internet fine, but can't get onto Parkview. I'm sorry to hear about the mycoplasma testing. I just wished doctors weren't so negative about it. Maybe they know something we don't. I asked my new rheumy about it too, and she said that everything was blamed on mycoplasma. I see her in August and will bring it to her attention again. I don't know of anyone in Canada having it done. Please don't feel guilty about venting to us. We all need to do it. Noone else understands this fm more than another sufferer. I believe Moldie also has problems with her feet. My feet don't get that sore. They are achy at times. My goodness girl, you did great walking a l/2 mile with the dog. Especially with aching feet. Cassie sounds like a real cutie. Our pets become part of our family. They have personalities and quirks just like humans. I have 2 dogs and 3 cats. Daisy is my german shepherd (I call her the bad kid) and Rex my heinz 57. Rex has been blind since he was 2 (he's is 12 now) and I also think he losing his hearing. He gets around with a little help from me. Daisy is Rex's seeing eye dog. Just joking. Daisy is very protective of Rex, it's like she knows Rex can't see. She guides him through doors and walks beside him. Ocassionally she likes to give him a love bite too. When she does it too many times, he'll tell her off. (bark, bark, snarl). I think every marriage goes through a rocky stage. I'm not sure what your issues are, but an illness is a fairly serious issue. Men usually like to fix problems. Women don't necessarily want it fixed, we just want someone to listen to us. Then there is the self-esteem. That is what fm has taken away from me. I have no control when I become ill and then what happens if something happens to my husband. Then the anxiety starts. It's a vicious circle. I don't want to get all preachy here, but when I'm not doing well, I do pray alot. I pray that the good Lord gives me the strentgh to get through another bout. I hope you start feeling better quick. Please let us know how you are doing, we care about you.


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## Guest (Jul 16, 2000)

Dear Feisty,I do hope you have gotten some rest now and are feeling better today. Speaking for myself, and I think for a lot of us here, your posts never bore me. I always enjoy them and they are obviously designed to give as much help to everyone as you can possibly give. I know that if you stopped posting, you would be sorely missed. Please don't stop.No need for an apology about the long post. As a matter of fact, in view of my recent two-part "novelette" posted under "carthartic writing", it isn't long at all!







I think this is what this support group is all about. Getting it out of our heads and out there for someone to say, "Yes, I understand; I've been there." Perhaps not in that exact same spot, but something similar. For instance, you have had so many physical problems with all the surgeries, etc. You've had children who have had physical problems that you had to deal with. And regardless of your relationship with Larry right now, try to remember that he has been with you through all of this and has experienced a lot of trauma because of it too. On the other hand, my ex-husband, many, many years ago just walked away and I found I was not very well equipped to raise even four healthy children with no problems beyond the usual cuts and scrapes, sutures and childhood diseases. It's a good thing they had no catastrophic health problems too because being the mother AND the sole breadwinner was about all I could handle.I think taking some computer classes over the Internet is an excellent idea. I find that when I don't have some outside interests, I dwell overmuch on my physical and mental health and it is always to my detriment. I've found computers and the Internet to be absolutely fascinating. I love it! I mean, here we are, thousands of miles apart and able to keep in contact on a daily basis or even hourly if we desire it. Able to share our joys, sorrows, hopes, aspirations. That, to me, is a marvelous thing. We should take every advantage of this technology. If I can help in any way, feel free to e-mail me.You said Larry says "no one wants to hear me rag." He is mistaken. I think this group at any time could be called "Whiners R Us" and that's O.K. too. Most people travel through life it seems with a load of baggage and they just need someone to validate that they are carrying that baggage and that it oftentimes becomes very heavy.You will, once again, crawl out of this black hole. Of course you are feeling overwhelmed and depressed right now but you know from past experience that it will not last.You said: "Sorry this got so long. That's another of my faults. I have many." I don't believe that!Take care.... calida###juno.com


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## Guest (Jul 16, 2000)

Don't be so hard on yourself, you are a sweet person and a good person and you can share your feelings with us whenever you want. We have all poured our hearts out here, we need to. We have all been carrying around our stresses and pain and worries, and bearing the weight and fears on our own. This is the most wonderful place to share the burden. You know we don't mind if you write posts twice as long, it helps to get to know you better. And I'm glad I'm not the only one having problems getting in here, maybe we should try to contact someone to let them know. I can't get in here at night, early in the day seems to be the best time but thats hard for me to do during the week because it ties up our business phone. I have a problem with my foot to, I got it caught under a display unit at the mall 2 years ago, it took nearly a year to walk normally on it, and now, everytime a flair up is coming or I'm coming down with something it hurts so much I can't put any weight on it. I get itchy too, when I just get settled down for the night, my skin starts crawling, I scratch until I'm raw. Like so many other things, it bugs me.Don't worry about getting us mixed up, we all have days when its difficult to remember who is who and who said what. You take care of yourself, pamper yourself. I will email you soon.


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## Feisty (Aug 14, 2000)

You guys are great! Thank you so much!!! I guess I needed more encouragement than I thought. That "black hole" is a little smaller since I just read your posts. After last years experience with depression--and it was so bad--I told myself I would not allow myself to get that bad again. Somehow that god-awful hole likes to put in appearances anyway. Weener---We use to have a Sheltie named Daisy, too!! Actually, we had two by that name. Our first one was hit by a truck one year to the day we got her. We were devastated. She was the miniature version of Lassie. And such a nice pet. She never left our yard (we lived out in the country), but several days before her accident, a new neighbor up the road had moved onto the farm with a truck load of farm cats and they were all over the place. The truck driver was a friend of ours and felt so bad. He said it looked like she was chasing several cats. Actually she was my oldest son Heath's dog. Anyway, the very next day, we went and picked out another Sheltie. We named him Dusty. He was a Blue Merle Sheltie and a beauty. His coat was white and silver gray with a touch of gold. And he had two blue eyes. Heath trained him for his 4-H project and won Showmanship Trophy and Blue Ribbon at the County Fair. He died a month after the fair of a brain tumor that we didn't know he had or encephalitis--the vet wasn't sure. So...we got Heath another Sheltie and named her Daisy II! Somehow, the name Daisy just seemed to fit her to a tee. We use to call her Dizzy Daisy!! She was something else! Then when Heath left for college we just couldn't give her the attention she needed. When we'd let her out for her runs she would take off through the woods and we couldn't find her for hours. We were afraid she would be hit or shot. So, we found a good home for her with an elderly couple who still lived on a farm. She's the queen of the place!!! They even wrote us a letter thanking us for her. She was just what they had wanted for a long time. I felt so bad, though. But, Lance was so very ill at that time and we were running back and forth to doctors and hospitals, etc. It was for the best. But I still get choked up when I think about her. Cassie has been with us 12 years already. We got her for Lance when he was 13. He had to spend so much time sick and feeling so rotten and he had begged for a little house dog that he could cuddle with. Took a lot of convincing to talk Larry into it, but we've never been sorry. She's such a smart little thing and always knew exactly when Lance needed some extra loving. She'd snuggle next to him for as long as he needed her. And she's still that way. the down side of having a pet is the hassle to find someone to care for her when we have to go out of town, etc. Calida----thanks for your kind words and offer of help with the computer. Believe me, I need all the help I can get. I don't even understand the language!!!! Foreign objects to me!!! And, Calida, don't you ever get any sleep? That must be hard for you. I love your photo and I love hats. Another one of my dreams. To wear a different hat whenever I'd go someplace. Larry doesn't like them. He wants to know why I would want to draw attention to myself by wearing a hat. For a few years (back a few years) I did have a couple of Sunday hats I'd wear to church and I always felt so---oh I don't know--classey I guess. Then I stopped wearing them because I was the only one who did. I shouldn't have let it get to me, but I am always concerned about what other people think of me. Insecurity I suppose. Lack of self-esteem maybe? You name it, I got it!!! And Boggs-- Thank you. What do you guys do? Stay up all night?!?! I know there are time differences, but I do hope that you got some rest, too. I know how hard it is for me to get a half-way decent night of rest. And then with you trying to work besides having all that pain--I feel for you and thank you for thinking of me. And Lori Ann---you sweetheart---you're always there for me. I read this morning how you posted you were worred about me--I feel bad. I didn't mean to cause anyone any worry. You guys got enough to worry about without me to add to your lists. And Lori Ann, you always have such neat ideas--one "cool lady" and you have a "heart of gold". It's really warm here today, like yesterday. In the 80's. I love it. I can't handle the cold too well or the dampness. That's another thing Doc told me. People with Fibro need to stay warm at all times. When we get cold we tense up and then we hurt twice as bad. And don't I know it!!! He suggested thinking about retiring to a warmer climate someday when hubby retires. That may not be too far down the road, but I doubt we will move too far. He likes to fish (has a brand new fishihg boat with all the toys), and hunt. And he won't want to give up any of that. Hawaii--that's my dream!!! We have been there twice and I loved it. No bugs and no poisonous snakes!!! My kind of land!! I hate bugs---mosquitos, bees. I'm deathly afraid of bees. And mosquitos love my sweet blood so much!!!! I would like to live someplace where I would be comfortable day and evening to just sit out on a patio and not feel cold. Am I a dreamer or what?!?! And Hawaii was so friendly and laid back, but expensive to live there I hear. Oh well. nothing like dreams to tie a person over. Hope the rest of your weekend is good to all of you. Take care. I'll try harder to keep in touch. Between not being able to get to Parkview and this computer---well.... Take care everyone and thank you again.


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## Guest (Jul 17, 2000)

Hey! Fiesty's Back.....<BRWay to go, Girl!Hi Everybody, hope you are having a good day!It's 102ï¿½ in this part of Texas and no relief in sight. No problem gettin' too cold here! Talk to you later....*calida*​


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## Guest (Jul 17, 2000)

Feisty, I am sooo sorry you have had a tough time. Doesn't the computer just about drive ya nuts sometimes?!?!?Sorry about the mycoplasma thing. Some docs just won't do it. Some are opened to other venues and some are not. I know what you mean about the feet. This may sound funny but my big toe on my right foot hurts the most. It's the joint. And they ache too. I haven't had that until the last couple of weeks with this antibiotic protocol. But great for you that you are walking anyway! Amazing what we endure, huh? WE ARE STRONG!!!!!You are never a bore. Remember you can say anything here. That's what we are here for. Lynne


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## Feisty (Aug 14, 2000)

Hi, Lynne! And thank you for replying. How are you doing with that antibiotic protocol? I sure hope it works for you. It will be something to prove some of those Doc's (wise-guys) wrong!!! They think they've got everything straight. Bull!!! Hang in there! I'm thinking of you everyday, along with everyone else. I may not answer right away, but I try to get things straight and sometimes it just gets more jumbled!!! This short-term memory thing is for the birds!!! How are your kids doing? Calida-----how did you do that wonderful greeting?! It's awesome. I'd love to be able to type some e-mail letters using different colors and type, but I can't for the life of me figure it out. That is so cool!!!!! (But, maybe I don't even have that program, right?)---that is what it's called isn't it? Dah..... Wow, that heat down your way. Don't know if I could handle that either. How does that affect your Fibro? Do you get cooler weather later in the season? Ever have a chance to see snow? Any time you want some, let me know--I'll ship you a refrigerated truck load!!! I'll bet Lynne and Weener can relate to that one, come winter! Hope you have central air. I do appreciate ours. Take care.


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## Feisty (Aug 14, 2000)

Whoops, Lynne!!! Sorry. The last comment I made about the truck load of snow----I meant Lori Ann and Weener 'cause they're up there in Canada and I'm not far below them in Wisconsin, but I don't think you could haul away much snow where you are. could you?! That's my "short-term" memory at it again---or is it just loose fingers on the keyboard!!!!


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## moldie (Sep 25, 1999)

My fellow Wisconsinite. Sorry you have been so down and out. No need to worry about venting here. As was said, we all have done it. This is where people come the closest to really understanding about what each other is going through when it comes to fibro. We all have our personal baggage too. That part of course is different, so we cannot truly completely understand, but sometimes it helps both to vent and perhaps receive some helpful exchanges in the process. And, yah, we all have faults too. Probably as many or more than you. That's when the glass is half empty. However, if you look at it from the perspective of being half full, we have more attributes.














God knows you are human Feisty. Let Him fill a little of it up for you. I will pray for you too Feisty. (Don't ever stop being feisty)! My feet hurt in the morning, then feel better after I use them. However, if I use them too much they hurt, generally after being on them for two hours. Then whimpy me has to put them up before I can go on again. My abdomen usually agrees, because after about two hours on my feet that begins to hurt too. You do what you have to do. I figure at least I can walk!Many of you have gone through alot more than I have in many respects. I know this is selfish, but I feel I get my stamina from people like all of you! We draw from each others strengths and we hold each other up. God bless you all.M.


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## Guest (Jul 17, 2000)

Very, very well said, Moldie!I'm sorry your feet are giving you a fit. I have some problems with my feet too. Worse when I wear shoes. If I could just go barefoot all the time, I'd be a lot better off as far as feet are concerned. The Prednisone is getting rid of the horrible itching rash but it has cut out even more of my sleep time. I'm starting to feel like a dog-goned hamster, up ramming around in the middle of the night!! Just don't have a treadmill.







I just hope I can get back to my four hours a night and nap in the afternoon after I finish taking this stuff.I wonder if anyone else on the board has had any experience with Prednisone. Since taking the Celebrex, my back is better. It loosened something up. It almost felt like a pinched nerve. I'm also thinking of maybe going to a chiropractor after this cataract surgery is behind me. My sister had lower back problems and she has always been "big" on chiropractors. She owned a health food store for many years before she retired and knows quite a bit about alternative health care. Her chir. found that she had one leg significantly shorter than the other. Had special shoes made, and....voila...no more backache. I'm also thinking of switching to a D.O. and cut this M.D. loose. I was treated by a D.O. when I lived in Mich. many years ago and I really liked him. D.O.'s (at least back then) seemed to be more in tune with wellness and achieving it rather than as Lori Ann said, reaching for the old RX pad and scribbling furiously. I think that whether we like to believe it or not, doctors have a vested interest in seeing that we do not "quite" get well. As do the pharmaceutical companies. It's big bucks. Probably why so many are opting to try different alternative treatments.Feisty, you asked how I did the "awesome" greeting. I'll try to get some websites together soon and e-mail them to you which explain how HTML (HyperText Markup Language) works. It really doesn't need a special program to do it. In fact, you can write code with any plain old text editor...like MS Notepad, which you already have on our computer. It's in Start...Program Files...Accessories. And there are lots of websites that teach you to learn how to write code. It's the language that all browsers speak. All web pages are written in it and some e-mail programs can use it. If you want to see some code, while you are on this page, click your right mouse button. It will open up Notepad and show you what's behind the scenes. It looks hard but is not really. This page will look complicated because it is a message board.Yes, we get cooler weather later (sometimes MUCH later) in the year. Cold bothers me more than the heat. Provided the AC doesn't konk out! We see snow only rarely here. We may have a few winter ice storms here in the winter but not much snow and what we do get melts pretty quickly.Wish all of you a great day. I hope I can sleep for at least a part of it.







calida


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## Guest (Jul 18, 2000)

Just read these posts - Feisty I am so glad that last post of yours sounded like the Feisty girl I am used to hearing. My feet have been killing me for three weeks, all of them and including the skin hurting on top. It is ridiculous, but this occurs periodically with me. I hate when my skin hurts any where as it lets me know that I am in for a real good flare up of all over body, muscle, joint, etc. pain. We love to hear from you here whether you are ragging or not!!!! And DO NOT sell yourself short!!!!! You are one cool person and much appreciated by all of us. You stay in my prayers. Stacey


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## Feisty (Aug 14, 2000)

Moldie and Stacey----Thank you for your kind words and everything. It is so nice to have a place to go and "let 'er out". I appreciate everyone here. Hi, everyone!!! Well, yesterday I mulched the new landscaping project that's been in the making for 3 years!! It took two trips to Green Bay----I managed to pack 20 bags of mulch in my little Mercury Mystique at one time!!! Gee, I love that car!!! Then, this morning, I made one more trip to Green Bay for more---it wasn't quite enough yesterday. Then I came in and soaked in the tub. I'm sure I'll pay for this, but it felt good. I can accomplish so much when I'm mad!!! I still have that blasted Migraine. Goes away for a day or two and then it comes right back. I got overheated yesterday, and I'm sure that's what brought it on last night. Gosh, it was 85* yesterday and today it's only 60*!! Hope this finds everyone feeling okay.I'm going to go and rest for a while--maybe that will kill this headache.


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## weener (Aug 15, 2000)

Hi Feisty:I hope the bath has helped to relax your muscles. I love taking baths. Have you ever tried the lavender bath foam or Body Shop's Musk. The lavender is very relaxing and sends me into la la land. How did you get 20 bags of mulch into your car? I want to do a bit of landscaping too. My hubby will off on holidays starting next week, so we'll do it together. We have a cedar hedge we need to take down (really don't want to do it), but it is humongous about 30 ft. long. I would like to plant some perennials there. I can't wait. I was just thinking about your migraines, have you been tested for allergies? The weather has been weird here too. Today has been cooler (much more to my liking). I don't like the humidity. I had a visitor today. I went out to call my indoor/outdoor cat (Pugsley) and he came running from the farmers field behind our property and right behind him was this little kitten. A orange tabby maybe 2 months old. I know that it's not Pugsley's kitty, because Pugsley's a boy. It was so cute, this little kitty was following Pugs home. When it saw me, it ran under the deck. I finally caught it and put it in the garage. Gave it some water and food. As I speak they are both cuddling together on Pugs bed. Hubby says that I have "sucker" written on my forehead. I just love animals, but I'm not sure if I need another cat. But, what the heck. Anyways, gotta go and check on the kittys. Talk to you later.


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## Guest (Jul 23, 2000)

Alright Weener,Why is your cats name pugsly??I have a pug named Molly. She looks like a pig!! I thought it was funny you named your cat pugsley. I always say Molly is like a cat that barks.i hope your all well; very busy lately. talk to you mon. night.Sea


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## weener (Aug 15, 2000)

Hi Sea:Hope all is well with you. Spent the day out with the hubby doing the garage sale thing. I think we stopped at 20 homes today. I'm exhausted. He loves going to them and I think I'm starting to get hooked. You know what they say "one man's junk is another man's treasure". We had to come home, no more room in the car. To answer your question about Pugs. Actually I don't have an answer. I always liked the name Pugsley and loved the The Adams Family as a child. It could have been any animal and I would have named it Pugsley. All I know is he knows his name when it's chow time. He is a brown tabby and he loves to talk. Meows all the time (can't shut him up). He was a barn cat when we lived on the farm. When we moved I decided to bring him with us. He spends his days hunting for mice and laying in my herb barrels. My new kitty "Wheezy" thinks Pugs is his best buddy. Pugs is very good with him, but occasionally gives him the snob treatment. How long have you had Molly?  The pugs are so cute. Are they the ones with the scrunched up faces? Oh, I just love pigs. When we had the farm, we kept pigs for a couple of years. They are smart animals. Anyways, nightie, night. It's bedtime. Talk to you on Monday.


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## Guest (Jul 24, 2000)

Hi Weener,Molly is three years old. They have wrinkled flat faces with a curly tail. Very smart and easy to care for.talk to you mondaySea


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