# My symptoms got worse



## Angelique Sohn (Dec 13, 2002)

When I was pregnant my symptoms got so bad I was practically bed bound. After 5 months of painful pregnancy my son was still born. Since then either due to the immense grief or something I am still as miserable as before and am barely functionable. I just am so scared it was my IBS that hurt my baby. The doctors said Immodium was okay... Has anyone experienced worse symptoms during pregnancy? Also how has anyone dealt with high anxiety and stress and kept their IBS under control? I would like to try again but I am so afraid my body is not absorbing the nutrients it needs to heal and try again. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated


----------



## ThisBearBites (Aug 28, 2002)

I am so sorry for your loss. I had multiple losses. Mine turned out to be due to my adenomyosis. I was always bed-bound and had very difficult pregnancies. I have two birth children, I lost three. I'm not surprised your IBS is worsened. I imagine it is due to both the extreme hormone changes and your grief. Give yourself time to heal and grieve. You might check and see if you GI would prescribe something for your symptoms, to help calm the IBS down.Erma Bombeck, having just lost a child, once wrote, "I now belong to a group of women who had to give a child back. We look like everyone one else, but there is an emptiness in our hearts that can never be filled."I was the first among my peers. I now have two sisters-in-law and a dear friend who belong to this group. I had no one that understood. They all had me and now we have each other. Every year I hang three angels on my Christmas tree, to represent the three angels waiting for me. Our birth children and our adopted children all know the importance of these angels. I have given angels to others as well. I will pray for your heart to heal, as well as your body. Please let me know how you are doing!


----------



## Angelique Sohn (Dec 13, 2002)

Thank you so much for replying. I am so sorry for your losses. I am amazed how many women have shared this pain. My doctor has prescribed an antidepressant. However it will take a few weeks to have any affects. I am also trying the calcium that several people seem to have luck with. The sadness is still so overwhelming-and as you know-christmas is so difficult. I want to try to become pregnant again. I plan to take the next few months to heal emotionally and physically. But hopefully next spring I will begin to feel better. What did you take to control your IBS during pregnancy? I took Immodium-but I am hearing some conflicting reports if it is okay? Thanks again for your kind words.


----------



## ThisBearBites (Aug 28, 2002)

I took nothing OTC while pregnant. I had a hard enough time without confusing the equation more. I mostly had no control of my IBS during pregnancy. I puked non-stop. Most foods went right through, caused intense gas pains, or came back up. I was hospitalized a lot for dehydration (and kidney infections, and premature labors, etc.). I was prescribed the drug (bendicton?), for puking problems during my first child's pregnacy. These were banned by the FDA, by my next one. FDA said it could cause digestive problems in the baby. My first child did need to have surgery for such a problem. I chose not to jump on the "sue them" bandwagon. By my second child's pregnancy I was a lot smarter in controlling my IBS with diet changes. Still sick, but better. Honestly, if I didn't crave it, I didn't eat it. My body ruled. And my body always suffered much to provide for the baby. It amazed me - how much was taken from me and they were protected. Both of my birth children (aside from the one surgery) were healthy 8+lbs. I looked like ####! But like I said; my body gave all for the babies. What antidepressant are you on? I just started back on Prozac. Been a long year of medical problems. I can feel a difference in the first couple of weeks. I tend to suffer from "biological" depression, brought on by chronic pain. Had the same problem dealing with a bone tumor in the 90's. You just run out of seretonin endorphins - which control pain and are your mood elevators. My brother said it best; on Prozac - I get "me" back. I have no easy answers for Christmas, but do get a special angel for a keepsake. I lost two of my babies within a week of Christmas, a year apart. I just laid low for several years, did what I had to. Every year I am now anxious to get my tree up - so I can hang my angels. If you don't feel emotionally ready, don't force yourself. Christmas will keep on coming no matter how we feel about it. And someday, you will want to join in again. I promise.


----------



## Angelique Sohn (Dec 13, 2002)

Thanks so much for your reply. Just when you think there can't be anyone out there who really understands-you find someone. My Doctor prescribed Desipramine. It is supposed to have a constipating side effect which should be beneficial. I am also trying the calcium supplement thing. I would like to be able to wean back off the Desipramine in spring. I would like to try for another baby. It will never replace my dear sweet boy-but it will fill these empty arms. I did try to work when I was so sick. Next time I will stay home and avoid all meds. Like you-food didn't stay in too long. I just hoped for it to stay long enough to get some vitamins. I am so sad you have 3 Angels in heaven-but I am so glad to hear of the 2 here on earth.


----------



## ThisBearBites (Aug 28, 2002)

I think you will find after the holidays over you will feel better. When the whole world is busy and celebrating and you are grieving - it just seems to amplify your pain. When things slow down, it is such a relief. I used my quiet, down times to write poetry and short stories. I found if I wrote about my pain long enough I would eventually write past the grief and anger; and find some acceptance. We do have two birth children and we adopted. And as soon as I saw the first photo of my adopted son, I knew in my heart that this was my child. We looked through a lot of files looking specifically for a very special needs child. We also knew this would be a son. People have asked, "How did you know he was the right one?" My answer? "You recognize your children when you see them."


----------

