# Major depression after a painful attack?



## monty (Jul 6, 2009)

I have IBS-D, and I have been suffering for years with it. I am 30 now, and remember getting sick when I was 5, waiting outside for school to start and having to use the bathroom. I'm married to a very patient man. I have a home and a job (for now). I have also been going through the worst attacks of my life. The pain is on such a scale ... I've never felt anything like it before. I have been trapped at work, in my car, because I am in so much I can't operate the car. And this is the woman who has perfected going to the bathroom and driving at the same time! I have a "kit" in my car... seriously embarrassing, but it works. I have been finding, especially lately, that with each attack I suffer through about 3 -5 days of SERIOUS depression. I have a major attack about once a week at this point, and minor attacks throughout the week. The pain of each major attack sends me spiraling downwards and I just can't pull myself out. I have fear that leaves me shaking, with dread, hopelessness, loneliness, and extreme guilt for putting my husband through this... all long after the major attack has finally stopped. With each attack I lose a bit more hope that I will ever find my way out of this. After all, over the years it has only gotten worse. I'm 30..and my future seems exhaustively long. I'm beginning to imagine my future with this illness and I don't like what I see.I just had an attack so bad it sent me to the ER yesterday. I was SURE something was physically wrong with me this time - my gallbladder or SOMETHING. But as usual, the results came up normal and I went home after some morphine and a bag of fluids to rehydrate me. And i am now in the middle of this gut wrenching depression that leaves me wondering if I actually want to live anymore. Now I'm a logical person and that side of me is telling me to hang on, that it will get better even though I can't see the forest for the trees. But the thought of having to go to work tomorrow morning makes me want to throw up from dread, let alone live the rest of my days like this.I am beginning to wonder if this depressive state is a chemical response to such a major trauma to your body. Does anyone else get this? Do you think its chemical? Maybe post traumatic stress disorder? Is there anything to do besides sit it out? I don't think I am a depressed person, in general. I mean the IBS sure deals a major blow to morale, but when I have a few good weeks in a row I start to mend pretty quickly. What do you think? Do you experience this?


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## cookies4marilyn (Jun 30, 2000)

Hello Monty - I am so sorry you are suffering so - I can well relate to what you mention. Certainly anyone would be depressed with what you are going through - it isnt easy feeling so sick so often. You are not alone and what you mention in some ways is a fairly normal reaction to being sick - being depressed from chronic sickness and pain is quite expected for many people, and this certainly can become a cycle too. It is hard to be cheerful when you are not feeling well, and are fearful for when it will hit again.I dont know what meds or treatments you have tried so far, but you may want to take a peek at the links below for what was helpful to me, which perhaps may be helpful to you. You can also call 877-898-2539 if you want to talk about this treatment and if it might be helpful to you - at least it might give some hope.I came to this BB in 2000 and have had IBS since 1983 to the point where I was almost housebound - IBS took over my whole life, just as you mention - it can be a devastating condition. I too have been in the ER, have had 4 colonoscopies, trips to the docs, etc. too, all to have nothing be wrong - and that is so hard to hear when you are in tons of pain, etc. All the best to you - feel free to ask me any questions.


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## navin (Nov 30, 2010)

cookies4marilyn said:


> Hello Monty - I am so sorry you are suffering so - I can well relate to what you mention. Certainly anyone would be depressed with what you are going through - it isnt easy feeling so sick so often. You are not alone and what you mention in some ways is a fairly normal reaction to being sick - being depressed from chronic sickness and pain is quite expected for many people, and this certainly can become a cycle too. It is hard to be cheerful when you are not feeling well, and are fearful for when it will hit again.I dont know what meds or treatments you have tried so far, but you may want to take a peek at the links below for what was helpful to me, which perhaps may be helpful to you. You can also call 877-898-2539 if you want to talk about this treatment and if it might be helpful to you - at least it might give some hope.I came to this BB in 2000 and have had IBS since 1983 to the point where I was almost housebound - IBS took over my whole life, just as you mention - it can be a devastating condition. I too have been in the ER, have had 4 colonoscopies, trips to the docs, etc. too, all to have nothing be wrong - and that is so hard to hear when you are in tons of pain, etc. All the best to you - feel free to ask me any questions.


Hey Monty,sorry to know about your suffering,won't waste too much of your time telling you how much sympathise with you.read this carefully, your only hope is india.where western medicne fails the age old ancient indian arm of medicine called ayurveda( read about it on tne net) takes over.your best bet is ayurveda, yoga and meditation.you got to trust me, i can finally see light at the end of the tunnel with my suffering, if you want to get your life back, just pack your bags and get on a plane to india.my email is [email protected],wite to me if you have faith and belief.i can help you identify a good ayurveda doctor and a yoga teacher. it has worked for me.Regards,Navin.


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## SarahLund (Aug 16, 2010)

Yes. It's the physical pains that can makr me feel extremely depressed. Not the other way round. Sometimes all these government statistics, and scientific claims, are nothing more than a bunch of jargon. If there was enough evidence to support what they say, then many more sufferers would not still be suffering right now. No wonder we're still no better off. Seriously, if depression was the cause, then why do some of the happiest people in the world still get I.b.s? I've lost all trust in dr's and the medical profession. And now the government want us to be dependant on the NHS. Sorry that ship sailed a long time ago. No amount of scientific news reports, are ever gonna be trusted by me ever again.


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## Bobtache (Sep 5, 2012)

I must say it has helped me in a way to read all of these comments and stories, but also depresses me further to realize that there don't appear to be any answers. I have had this condition undiagnosed for some time now and the doctor I had just doubled my Lansaprazole to 60mg a day, which made the situation worse. Instead of dealing with the problem or even bothering to do tests etc., he just sent me away. Now I have difficulty EVERY DAY climbing stairs or walking a short distance as it takes no time at all for me to be doubled up in agony. I am currently awaiting biopsy results and have just started a change of meds, but cannot understand that in most cases I've read the problems come and go and there appears to be some relief, but in my case at the moment the discomfort is permanent, although varying in degree. It is that unpleasant at the moment while I have been having the scopes etc that I have been unable to go to work and may lose my job. I have had some absences over this last couple of years including severe sciatica, then a heart problem, and now this. I have a very stressful job, am 61 yrs., and have had two very close and upsetting bereavements in the last year. At the moment I am so physically and mentally wiped out and have lost about 10 lbs in weight in the last two weeks.Is this permant feeling of being unwell normal with some cases of IBS?Thanks, anyone!Bob


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## monty (Jul 6, 2009)

Bobtache said:


> I must say it has helped me in a way to read all of these comments and stories, but also depresses me further to realize that there don't appear to be any answers. I have had this condition undiagnosed for some time now and the doctor I had just doubled my Lansaprazole to 60mg a day, which made the situation worse. Instead of dealing with the problem or even bothering to do tests etc., he just sent me away. Now I have difficulty EVERY DAY climbing stairs or walking a short distance as it takes no time at all for me to be doubled up in agony. I am currently awaiting biopsy results and have just started a change of meds, but cannot understand that in most cases I've read the problems come and go and there appears to be some relief, but in my case at the moment the discomfort is permanent, although varying in degree. It is that unpleasant at the moment while I have been having the scopes etc that I have been unable to go to work and may lose my job. I have had some absences over this last couple of years including severe sciatica, then a heart problem, and now this. I have a very stressful job, am 61 yrs., and have had two very close and upsetting bereavements in the last year. At the moment I am so physically and mentally wiped out and have lost about 10 lbs in weight in the last two weeks.Is this permant feeling of being unwell normal with some cases of IBS?Thanks, anyone!Bob


Hi Bob,I'm the original poster of this topic and I'd like to tell you there is a sort of... Light at the end of the tunnel. It's been a really long haul for me and I lost years of my life to this disease, but I have finally come to a place with the help of my doctors and counselors where I have a life, and am symptom free for weeks at a time. It's never going to be a perfectly healthy life, like you probably remember from being a kid. I've made a lot of sacrifices to get to this point. I had to leave my well paying job to work at home for 1/4 the money. I am living much simpler now, bare bones really....I don't have money for the movies, but at least I found a way to remain employed in an environment that allows me to deal with my ibs when I have to.I also worked very closely with my doctors, one in particular for 5 years, through 8 hospital stays, numerous repeated tests, dietary changes, medication changes, etc. I am still undiagnosed... They don't know if it's Crohns, colitis, severe ibs, or a combination - yes, you can have a combination as sadistic as that sounds! But I realized at some point the diagnosis didn't matter. Here is what's keeping me in relatively good health:Medications:Amitryptyline, 20 mg at bed - ibsNexium, at bed - acidBalsalazide disodium, 750mg, 3 pills at bed - colitisLexapro, 10mg - anxiety, depression related to ibszofran, nausea - as neededDilauded, pain pill - only taken when I am in so much pain that the alternative is to go to the ER. They never find anything...just ibs pain, so this keeps me from going - as neededI no longer take any of the anti spasmodics (which the docs love to prescribe) because they just bound me up and then I had major constipation and got rushed to the hospital for that! When I'm in pain, it has to come out. That's it. Sorry to be gross, but true. Ibuprofen, aspirin, Advil - actually give me ulcers in my intestines. They found them during a scope. So nothing but Tylenol or the hard stuff for me.Along with meds, I had to severely restrict my diet, and find that when I cheat, I really suffer for it. You'll find it's not the healthiest diet around, but doc says that is the least of my worries. I should eat what works... And I've come to believe he's right.No dairy, no wheat, low fiber, no whole grains, low soy, low acid. No caffeine or artificial sweeteners - they cause diarrhea. My main foods are meat, starch, fat and sugar. i try to get nutrients where I can - cooked carrots, cooked green beans, applesauce and bananas mostly. They are easier to digest. I tried to have a small iceberg lettuce salad over the weekend and I'm still in bed recovering! I'm actually talking to a doc today about trying prenatal vitamins to try and round out the nutrient intake, but you have to be careful of vitamins...they can irritate the stomach.And after all of this, the result is that my life has gotten better. I was able to go visit family out of town recently and was, aside from my diet, just another person out of town.







. I cried. The largest, and hardest, lesson to learn in all of this is to lose all expectation of what your life needs to be, even if you have financial problems, or an unsupportive family that just doesn't understand. It's hard, but living with ibs means you can't force things into place...I was the queen of it. As hokey as it sounds, I sought out spiritual healing, learning meditation, which put the last brick into place for me. To forgive myself, care for myself, put my health first... I don't know about you, but my family and society seem to value self sacrifice above all else. Too many damn sappy movies where one lover gives everything to prove his love to the girl. I have had some push back from family when I don't give my last minute to help, my last dollar or just go to the restaurant because everyone else wants to go... That has been hard. But they don't understand, and I taught myself I don't need their acceptance to care for myself. They come around sooner or later.







haven't lost one yet!Good luck, everyone. I just wanted to update that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It's just a really long tunnel. :/


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