# On the verge of committing suicide .



## Kane the Undertaker (Feb 15, 2016)

Sorry for posting this again , but I`m basically sharing my story ( again ) except this time with more details. I have been dealing with stress / social anxiety related excessive gas for two years. It only happens when I`m in social situations such as school. I can NOT smell the farts but I know others can. I also did a google search and found a guy with pretty much the same problem , he wrote that he also has a condition where his pee dribbles after using the toilet , I have this problem too. My life is HELL , I`ve tried Pepto Bisimol and Gas X and just ended up wasting money. My life blows and I seriously feel like I should just kill myself instead of having to go to school each and everyday and be made fun of and excluded and bullied . Ugh I hate my life , I hate my classmates and I hate pretty much everything. I live a boring life with no friends at all , let me repeat that NO FRIENDS AT ALL , I am a lonely piece of **** who will never succeed in life. I have literally nothing at all to live for. I don`t believe in God but if he does exist then I pray for me living a normal life or just me dying. I honestly don`t think anyone will miss me when I`m gone. Once I came late for class and everyone was talking and happy until I came in







then everyone is just quite. I hate being humiliated. I swear on everything holy that I would rather be dead then having to live this horrible , disgusting life. And yes I have talked to the doctor although I didn`t give much detail , and not with a specialist so maybe someone on this forum who has more knowledge can help me , she told me to take Gas X which did`nt help at all , in fact it made it worse. There is not a single day I don`t think about ending it all . I want to rid myself of my misery and allow others to be happy die. I want to die , I fantasize being diagnosed with a deadly disease , I fantasize being murdered. I am way over my tolerance point , there is no way I`m going to deal with this an longer. I need to kill this before it kills me , trust me everyday I feel helpless , like I`m in a jail. I hate this so much , I hate it more then anything. You know when everyone hates you it sucks but when you hate yourself it sucks even more. I just freaking farted while typing that line , URGGG I am sooooooooo tired of this .


----------



## byebyebread (Mar 1, 2016)

High School sucks, but the thing about it is, it doesn't last forever. I think it would be remiss to make a final decision based off how shitty hs is. I understand the frustration you are feeling, I am not new to debilitating conditions. Have you tried changing your diet to see if eliminating foods makes a difference. I have had decent success with the low FODMAP diet. If you dont want to go that far look up online what foods cause gas and cut those out. Also have you talked to a GI specialist. There might be a really simple fix, you just dont have enough information yet.

I think you have to give your life a real try before you give up.


----------



## marleyma (Aug 13, 2014)

I'm so sorry you are going through this at a young age. I agree.. high school is SO hard in general not to mention how hard it is dealing with this issue. I have two suggestions - talk to your primary about maybe taking something for anxiety and depression that this is causing you. I was against meds til I was at that point of feeling so hopeless.. now a few years later and since starting an antidepressant I rarely have those suicidal thoughts. Second, I would talk to your primary or gi dr about sibo. It's a simple breath test and if positive the treatment is antibiotics. My Dr ordered this for me after I told him I had years of horrible uncontrollable flatulence. I took the antibiotics and in a month my gas was gone. I was shocked.
Anyway - I hope this helps and people in high school can be horrible. Reach out to people in this forum - I've developed a few great friendships from meeting people on here. We're here for you!!!!!!


----------



## Kane the Undertaker (Feb 15, 2016)

Thanks for the tips @byebyebread and @marleymya


----------



## dudewhereismyand (Mar 1, 2016)

I know that feel bro. I know how people stare at you. I know the smirk. I know not having confidence to talk to girls. I know wanting to shut your self.

check out my post, similar to yours.

http://www.ibsgroup.org/forums/topic/279034-leaky-gut-since-childhood/


----------



## tummyrumbles (Aug 14, 2005)

Try a very simple diet of just meat, fish, vegetables and a few fruits. This is probably the best diet for IBS if you can tolerate the veges and if your gut isn't too inflamed. For me the constant gas was from incomplete evacuation and I found that if I ate certain foods one day I wasn't able to fully go the next day, which led to leaky gas. The worst foods for me are starchy foods, all grains, legumes like baked beans. Lectins and food opioids in grains like wheat and rice, legumes, nuts, white potatoes and dairy can act to paralyse the colon. Ideally we should all be just going once a day and producing one long, unbroken BM - not an hours-long explosive session with a ton of gas. I'm still not up to that stage yet, but the BMs are definitely better formed and this diet is the best so far:

breakfast: 2 fried eggs, 2 bacon shortcuts, fried tomato or banana

lunch: salad vegetables like carrot, cucumber, lettuce, (I also have olives & gherkins but these are higher in fibre. I can tolerate the fibre in salad very well. If you don't, have the same cooked veges as your dinner), fatty meat like salami or roast chicken with skin on

dinner: meat or fish with cooked green beans, pumpkin, cooked carrots (you can try mashed sweet potato or corn but these veges seem to be the safest for me)

I also have a couple of teaspoons of raw honey (get this from an apiary).

If you get sugar cravings a small amount of chocolate should be OK. I can tolerate chocolate and fruits like banana and pineapple but don't have too many fruits.


----------



## minimalizer (Jun 8, 2014)

Occasional charcoal cap away from supplements. Drink 8-10 cups of water/day, to keep things moving before gas forms.


----------



## MishyMish (Sep 28, 2015)

Oh don't give up!! I know it's hard we are all feeling this way too. Basically my neighbors hate me because my smells lingers to their house and they hate it. But please don't give up. Don't let other interfere with your emotion. It's hard but it will get better one day. If you don't mind we can chat if you want to share some feelings. But don't give up please.


----------



## Kane the Undertaker (Feb 15, 2016)

MishyMish said:


> Oh don't give up!! I know it's hard we are all feeling this way too. Basically my neighbors hate me because my smells lingers to their house and they hate it. But please don't give up. Don't let other interfere with your emotion. It's hard but it will get better one day. If you don't mind we can chat if you want to share some feelings. But don't give up please.


Yeah sure we can chat


----------



## InvestigatorLG (Feb 23, 2016)

Hey Kane the undertaker

Don't worry man we are as close as ever to finding a solution. Check tummyrumble posts for diet he has nailed it.

Also I'm doing biofeedback treatment because they found an animus(pelvic floor dysnergia) and rectal intussuception. I will soon let you know how it went and if it worked. I take psylium fiber everyday, glutamine supplements and cayenne peper capsule before a meal. Also you can get digestive enzyme suplements.

You will find many ways to reduce the smell and soon we will find how to be done with that problem. Don't forget there's people that are blind, paralyzed and worst, we have it bad but still not worth doing something stupid over this problem


----------



## Perk (Apr 13, 2013)

Kane how are you doing?


----------



## vanilla_bean (Mar 1, 2015)

Kane, hope all is well with you.

Hang in there - I promise you have not exhausted all treatment options yet!

I can't imagine having to deal with what you're going through. Please call a suicide hotline if you feel down again. It looks like you are in Canada - here is a list of suicide hotline numbers to call if you ever feel suicidal.

Keep trying new diets and treatments and *hang in there* - you WILL find a cure. Life will get better!


----------



## PYT (Jul 3, 2015)

Posted Today, 01:13 PM

I finally found the very inexpensive cure to my uncontrollable and very embarrassing condition. After spending thousands of dollars on doctors visiting, prescriptions, and trying different types of herbs, with no success. I accidentally discovered the cure when my daughter wouldn't eat her snack raisins. So, not letting them go to waste I eat them instead and notice that I've been having regular bowel movements, and such with no negative side effects. And notice that people wasn't standoffish, constantly rubbing their noses, and making rude remarks. Since then I've been eating them ever since, my symptoms went away 100%. I'm slowly getting over my fear of wondering if I smell bad when I'm around people. I don't see people rubbing their noses, and making rude remarks when I'm out in public. I hope that this forums will help others to over come their constant fear of suffering with their embarrassing condition as well. Good luck and eat plenty of healthy raisins. And start living life again.


----------



## haileybell30 (Jul 8, 2018)

When reading your post I honestly had to check the name on this post as I thought maybe I wrote it and didn't realize I posted it. Because it sounds Identical to me. Right before this problem started I was ready to improve my life. Felt good, was working more, and was ready to start talking to new people and wanted to date. That all came to an end. I have seen doctor after doctor. Had CT, MRI, 2 colonoscopies, biopsies,uper endoscopy, colonic cleans,enemas, blood test, stool test, garlic, prebiotics, probiotics, fiber powder,charcoal pills you name it I've done it. I have NO ONE. I sit in my room all day by myself. People say where a pad, if you need just run to the bathroom where ever you are, it could be worse, who cares what others think......repeating to them that running to a bathroom will not do a thing for it as it is leaking out where ever whenever at all times. When I'm at home it's nothing at all like when I'm working, out and about. When working I have people silenlty shaking there head, or making sounds like they are goona throw up in disgust, I've had people getting so sick of smelling it they have made very rude comments like it's smells like shit, or will make up some knd of story referring to me ( very obvious). I don't have air conditioning in my car I won't roll down my Windows in 90 weather cause the smell. I can't get anything done like drop things off at post office scared to go inside, grocery shop, even to get gas for car. I will hurry go to the furthest pump and look like a fool cause I am hurrying to get back in my car. 😭 I act so wierd all the time now. My body language, mood, I act so fuckin weird. I ignore all aspects of life. Knowing I will never talk to another guy, have sex ever again, go out and try different things makes me think everyday what's the point of staying alive If I can't enjoy anything. I am angry, deppressed, Moody, scared, hopeless. Its debilitating. And with all of that and no one who can possibly understand I am seriously going nuts. You can only stay to yourself for so long. I've been asked on several occasions by old friends on messenger to fly to Vegas all paid for, I've been asked to meet up and hangout. I now ignore all text and any messages from old friends. I've tried saying I have some health problems stomach problems, they call it IBSD. Uh but that is nothing close to what is really happening.


----------



## Lilcutiel4 (Jul 16, 2018)

I am so sorry you feel this way, I have IBS and sometimes I don’t go out at all for fear of having an issue. I have no social life and get seriously depressed sometimes just talking/venting to someone helps a lot. Don’t be afraid to reach out, I know what it’s like to feel alone and feel like no one understands.


----------



## InfantTeach1620 (Aug 27, 2018)

Omg can I relate.... when I was in HS I wanted the earth to swallow me up everyday.... I had pee dribble, gas, overweight from (comfort eating) which turned out to be pcos. My gym teacher was a hell bitch who had no compassion even with Dr notes.....

But school is over now, I didn't get the grades I knew I could with all the sick days I took, so I made a plan to go on independent study find the one spot people wanted to find on training days and go (often for free), I now own my ibs it's not all roses and sunshine and yes I still h ave those stop and let me off days... but I'm in my 30s and an infant teacher with a husband now trying for children... don't give in the jerks at school will only be there now you make your life choices after this...

my butt head of a big bro gave me a motto (he had fetal incontinence as a kid)

when you get a dull instrument like a spoon to over come a brick wall don't stop and quit over time you'll have beaten,broken and shaped the spoon into a pick now tear down that wall brick by satisfy brick.


----------



## Johnnie Dunkum (Feb 18, 2014)

I was in the same situation. I really just wanted it to end. The doctors were useless, but I saved myself. In my case, I am sure I did not have IBS now, but colitis the doctors ignored. I told them repeatedly of so many things that should have contraindicated IBS and their inability to do something as simple as a rectal exam almost cost me my life. I even did precise write ups hoping to convey my symptoms better, including things like inflammation and numerous other clues at least present by unmanaged Crohn's. My eyes were so inflamed, my vision was affected for years too, and it kept getting worse. If you want to have a look at what I did and see if it could help any of you, check out my post on the Huel forums. Noone understands the psychological impact of these issues, and the doctors make you feel it is not life threatening, so they can give up. I literally had three doctors tell me I tried everything and they don't know how to help me. The last time almost signed my life away. It is criminal that the medical industry has devolved to the point they barely try if the symptoms do not match their script. I did not pay doctors to misdiagnose me and then leave me to believing that diagnosis, allowing my body to be ravaged by inflammation I did not even know was there, and making me feel so hopeless, I wanted to die. I did not cure my problem, but I took it from endless torture to mild and manageable flare-ups and about 90% pain free in one week. I am on day 17 and it is going very well so far. I think the magic combination for me is actually Huel, peppermint oil and Zenwise enzymes and probiotics. I have not collected enough information about the zenwise, but I was more regular with it than without it. The Huel diet is easy to follow and clears the chronic inflammation fast, so it doesn't mask symptoms, if nothing else. In my case, I was just trying it because it was low FODMAP, but because it is anti-inflammatory too, I inadvertently proved what I told the doctors all those years and I had massive inflammation, particularly in my rectum. If you are getting to the point of even thinking about life not being worth dealing with the suffering, at least consider trying it. It might be the best $74 you ever spend.

https://discourse.huel.com/t/huel-saved-my-life-in-one-week/2949


----------

