# What is left for me in this life?



## mylifeisover (Jan 10, 2014)

If I wasn't so scared of death id of killed myself by now, this is just a sick joke illness which has killed anything in me which used to have a soul.

I very doubt i'll get married since no one will put up with this illness, I have lost almost all my friends.

My depression has gotten so bad that on days such as Christmas, I just stayed in bed all day ignoring anyone who tried to have the remotest conversation with me.

Do I really have to say im suicidal until I start getting taken seriously?

I very much doubt I will finish my last 6 months of my A level examinations because of the uncomfortable and dread feelings I have going into school. Even if I get my A-levels, I wont want to go to university with this illness.

Anyone else feel their life is, over?


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## thickthighs1 (Apr 12, 2013)

mylifeisover,

I know this is hard to believe,but you will be okay.When you find out why you have the smell/diarrhea/constipation,whatever you have under control,then you will able to experience life again happy.

DON'T KILL YOURSELF many of us are in the same boat,or have been in the same boat.

We have gotten better and so will you.It will take months to find out why you are having problems and to get rid of the problems.But you will get rid of them


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## tummyrumbles (Aug 14, 2005)

Give the low FODMAP diet a go (but not their breads). My IBS has improved dramatically over the last 10 years or so. Try the low FODMAP diet vegetables but give up completely all constipating foods like white flour, puddings, biscuits, crackers, Twisties, & fatty starchy things like potato chips. Have a bit of meat or fish in the evening. I have banana with yoghurt for dessert. I had a look at one of your previous posts. You eat some of the worst food for constipation! (too much rice, chicken, turkey) and constipation is the last thing leaky gassers need. A bit of meat is OK but not too much. Rice is one of the most constipating foods there is. Potatoes are OK in moderation. Have a look at my post on a good diet for quick evacuation.

http://www.ibsgroup.org/forums/topic/169299-16-minutes-evacuation-ibs-diet-no-hunger/

Most Leaky Gas (if that's what you have) is from incomplete evacuation rather than digestion gas and the low FODMAP diet has very little digestion gas anyway. Most of us here have food intolerances and my diet is a mix of FODMAP and excluding certain starches like rice, white flour, and all pizza bases (very condensed starch). The best thing to do is not to get up from the toilet until you feel clear and completely evacuated. I hope your parents are understanding of this.

Let me know if you want any more information or advice.


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## horizonzero (Nov 17, 2013)

Mate i'm in the exact same boat I've been given an ultimatum to go back to Uni in two weeks time. I sat through Christmas an absolute wreck, even on Christmas day. I'm on my second attempt at 1st year and my GP thinks I'm an anxious nutjob. The only thing thats keeping me going is knowing I have an appointment with a colorectal specialist and that I can gladfully produce this : http://www.ibsgroup.org/forums/topic/168848-leaky-gasfbo-hopefully-the-end-is-in-sight-people/#entry908607 .

I'm at my whits end and trying to get by day to day, I know what it's like socially to suffer this with the anxiety, depression and emotions that all come with it so if you need someone to talk to give me a shout.

Print out a copy of my post and get your parents to read it so they can fully understand, I give it to mine and they're slightly more accepting.


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## westr (Jan 27, 2012)

do you eat whatever you parents cook you? tell them from now on you want to cook for yourself, follow the fodmap diet, never cheat, get to holland and barret and get the ultra probiotic with the 20 billion acidophilus and have 2 a day, have apple cider vinegar before each meal and maintain a good posture. thats what works for me, might help you.


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## mylifeisover (Jan 10, 2014)

thickthighs1 said:


> mylifeisover,
> 
> I know this is hard to believe,but you will be okay.When you find out why you have the smell/diarrhea/constipation,whatever you have under control,then you will able to experience life again happy.
> 
> ...


Months? That doesn't sound very appealing. I have had this for around 15 months now.
Believe it or not I only found out I had the symptoms when I was sat next to someone who ALSO had Ibs, I thought the smell from him was me and I was so anxious all the time in that lesson. (Hes dropped out of school now). I definitely think my symptoms have gotten worse since I found out about it, but I'll never know.

Have you cured yourself 100%?



tummyrumbles said:


> Give the low FODMAP diet a go (but not their breads). My IBS has improved dramatically over the last 10 years or so. Try the low FODMAP diet vegetables but give up completely all constipating foods like white flour, puddings, biscuits, crackers, Twisties, & fatty starchy things like potato chips. Have a bit of meat or fish in the evening. I have banana with yoghurt for dessert. I had a look at one of your previous posts. You eat some of the worst food for constipation! (too much rice, chicken, turkey) and constipation is the last thing leaky gassers need. A bit of meat is OK but not too much. Rice is one of the most constipating foods there is. Potatoes are OK in moderation. Have a look at my post on a good diet for quick evacuation.
> 
> http://www.ibsgroup.org/forums/topic/169299-16-minutes-evacuation-ibs-diet-no-hunger/
> 
> ...


I suffer from IBS-D. I do have incomplete evacuation though as I have to go several times in the mornings. (My lates are terrible).



horizonzero said:


> Mate i'm in the exact same boat I've been given an ultimatum to go back to Uni in two weeks time. I sat through Christmas an absolute wreck, even on Christmas day. I'm on my second attempt at 1st year and my GP thinks I'm an anxious nutjob. The only thing thats keeping me going is knowing I have an appointment with a colorectal specialist and that I can gladfully produce this : http://www.ibsgroup.org/forums/topic/168848-leaky-gasfbo-hopefully-the-end-is-in-sight-people/#entry908607 .
> 
> I'm at my whits end and trying to get by day to day, I know what it's like socially to suffer this with the anxiety, depression and emotions that all come with it so if you need someone to talk to give me a shout.
> 
> Print out a copy of my post and get your parents to read it so they can fully understand, I give it to mine and they're slightly more accepting.


Its difficult for this because my parents have no confidentiality over me. When I first said I had ibs and not to tell anyone, they told EVERYONE.

Also, what is a "Colorectal Specialist", how can they help you?



westr said:


> do you eat whatever you parents cook you? tell them from now on you want to cook for yourself, follow the fodmap diet, never cheat, get to holland and barret and get the ultra probiotic with the 20 billion acidophilus and have 2 a day, have apple cider vinegar before each meal and maintain a good posture. thats what works for me, might help you.


My parents cook my mainly chicken breast, rice, potatoes, steamed carrots. Not much else from that really.

I make myself gluten free or dairy free meals.

Just a quick question, are rice cereals a problem? I usually have them with almond milk but im not sure if they are a good thing to consume.


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## tummyrumbles (Aug 14, 2005)

There are no easy cures and operations won't help. With IBS a lot of things irritate and constipate the bowel and once the colon has learned this behavior it's forever unfortunately. We just have to figure out what foods don't irritate or constipate so we can evacuate in normal time. A good starting point is the low FODMAP diet. I'm guessing you also have constipation issues with certain refined starches like rice cereals like I do. Ask your parents to buy you pumpkin, sweet potato, salad vegetables, bok choy, bananas and fill up on eggs, cheese, and wholemeal bread if you're not gluten-intolerant (most of us aren't). We basically need to eat mostly gentle fibre that doesn't upset the colon. Your parents don't seem to understand how devastating this is for you. You really need these foods so might need to talk to another trusted relative if you have one. Or ask your parents to post here if they don't understand what's going on.


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## mylifeisover (Jan 10, 2014)

tummyrumbles said:


> There are no easy cures and operations won't help. With IBS a lot of things irritate and constipate the bowel and once the colon has learned this behavior it's forever unfortunately. We just have to figure out what foods don't irritate or constipate so we can evacuate in normal time. A good starting point is the low FODMAP diet. I'm guessing you also have constipation issues with certain refined starches like rice cereals like I do. Ask your parents to buy you pumpkin, sweet potato, salad vegetables, bok choy, bananas and fill up on eggs, cheese, and wholemeal bread if you're not gluten-intolerant (most of us aren't). We basically need to eat mostly gentle fibre that doesn't upset the colon. Your parents don't seem to understand how devastating this is for you. You really need these foods so might need to talk to another trusted relative if you have one. Or ask your parents to post here if they don't understand what's going on.


I have IBS-D and IBS-B. Alot of what you have said wont help me. Thank you anyway of course!


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## westr (Jan 27, 2012)

tummyrumbles said:


> There are no easy cures and operations won't help. With IBS a lot of things irritate and constipate the bowel and once the colon has learned this behavior it's forever unfortunately. We just have to figure out what foods don't irritate or constipate so we can evacuate in normal time. A good starting point is the low FODMAP diet. I'm guessing you also have constipation issues with certain refined starches like rice cereals like I do. Ask your parents to buy you pumpkin, sweet potato, salad vegetables, bok choy, bananas and fill up on eggs, cheese, and wholemeal bread if you're not gluten-intolerant (most of us aren't). We basically need to eat mostly gentle fibre that doesn't upset the colon. Your parents don't seem to understand how devastating this is for you. You really need these foods so might need to talk to another trusted relative if you have one. Or ask your parents to post here if they don't understand what's going on.


people have been cured from surgery, 4 by my count. unless youve had a dynamic mri of the pelvic floor you cant rule out a prolapse or rectocele. of course we all have different symptoms...or maybe more accurately put the same symptoms but varying conditions.


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## tummyrumbles (Aug 14, 2005)

No operation can cure leaky gas or any other form of IBS.

http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcarticles.nsf/pages/Rectal_prolapse

"We do not know the exact cause of rectal prolapse, but risk factors include chronic constipation, straining to pass bowel motions, and weakened pelvic floor muscles."

http://www.fascrs.org/patients/conditions/rectocele/

"How can a rectocele be treated with medical management only?

It is very important to have a good bowel regimen in order to avoid constipation and straining with bowel movements. A high fiber diet, consisting of 25-30 grams of fiber daily, will help with this goal. This may be achieved with a fiber supplement, high fiber cereal, or high fiber bars. In addition to augmenting fiber intake, increased water intake (typically 6-8 glasses daily) is also highly recommended. This will allow for softer stools that do not require significant straining with bowel movements, thereby reducing your risk for having a bulge associated with a rectocele."

Even if a surgeon operates, if you keep eating constipating foods you'll continue to have IBS with or without a prolapse. If the prolapse is caused by straining (constipation, or IBS if you like) then this means a lifestyle change is in order.


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## westr (Jan 27, 2012)

what can i say, we've had people with lg/fbo get cured through surgery by their own admission.

and leaking gas isnt necassarily a form of ibs, in fact if people with our symptoms have been cured by surgery, its pretty safe to say their condition wasn't ibs.


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## Maria Slan (Jul 16, 2013)

Well, accept the truth and be honest to yourself. If you asked for A level score and I told you I got many. If you keep thinking so much about the future and your sickness that would kill ya. Dont think, just walk. The sick wont change who you are and what you will be, just need to know that, ok  ?

Be normal and laugh at what happen. Life is just life, bro.


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## tummyrumbles (Aug 14, 2005)

I'd agree that if someone was completely cured of their symptoms by surgery then it's safe to assume it wasn't IBS. The problem is we have posters who say they feel like suicidal, then ask if enemas work, then if operations work. Already they feel the situation is hopeless and want something quick, easy and over and done with. Because this is an IBS board I'm assuming they have IBS and too many people here espouse surgery for something that is largely diet/lifestyle related. I'm aware of people here having solesta operations, advising everyone else to have one, then you never hear from them again. If we have gas issues, then no operation will cure this. The gas will always be there, even after the operation, because we haven't changed the habits we need to change.


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## westr (Jan 27, 2012)

im here because i googled my symptoms and found this forum, not because i have ibs. i dont even recognise ibs as a real thing, its a catch all diagnosis for digestive conditions which our condition either could be, could not be, or could just be creating as an effect. i agree its important to control the symptoms with lifestyle changes such as diet and exercise but there could be a root cause to the problem, and going by the experience of those who were lucky enough to find a surgical cure, its not the sort of thing that gets cured without our constant persistence and intervention.

for example the doctors say ibs, we say no and go back. they say anxiety we say no and get a second opinion. they say stool test, blood test, colonoscopy we say ok but next i want a pelvic mri. they say no we keep asking. we get it and they find a tiny rectocele, we STILL need to intervene and stress that this is highly likely to be the cause, we know it because we've done research the expert doctor has not.


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## horizonzero (Nov 17, 2013)

mylifeisover said:


> I have IBS-D and IBS-B. Alot of what you have said wont help me. Thank you anyway of course!


The doctors just coin IBS to anything thats wrong with you, list out the specific problems you have and I might be able to help. I may aswell have become a specialist I've been researching for that long.


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## horizonzero (Nov 17, 2013)

westr said:


> im here because i googled my symptoms and found this forum, not because i have ibs. i dont even recognise ibs as a real thing, its a catch all diagnosis for digestive conditions which our condition either could be, could not be, or could just be creating as an effect. i agree its important to control the symptoms with lifestyle changes such as diet and exercise but there could be a root cause to the problem, and going by the experience of those who were lucky enough to find a surgical cure, its not the sort of thing that gets cured without our constant persistence and intervention.
> 
> for example the doctors say ibs, we say no and go back. they say anxiety we say no and get a second opinion. they say stool test, blood test, colonoscopy we say ok but next i want a pelvic mri. they say no we keep asking. we get it and they find a tiny rectocele, we STILL need to intervene and stress that this is highly likely to be the cause, we know it because we've done research the expert doctor has not.


My Doctor thinks i'm an anxious nutjob who's problems are all psychological, he doesn't have a clue about all the things that the condition have done to make people like that, he actually made me convince myself at once that It was psychological and I forked out a shit-ton of money on hypnotherapy that got me nowhere. I have an appointment with a colorectal and I'm going to get to the bottom of things whether they like it or not.


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## tummyrumbles (Aug 14, 2005)

I used to be angry at doctors and still am a bit. Even though IBS is confusing I'm surprised they can't do better. Telling people they need hypnotherapy borders on malpractice. Yes, IBS doesn't mean anything and doesn't explain anything. A lot of it has to do with enzymes but how they all went awry in the first place I don't know. The FODMAP theory at least explains a lot of problems people have with veges. WESTR, have you find much relief with the FODMAP diet? I have, but I also need to watch certain starches as well. Pizza bases, even wholemeal, are out. It seems my colon only likes mild fibre and doesn't tolerate constipating food at all. It's as though the colon senses that the constipating food is a threat and tries to eradicate it, but can't because it's stuck there. Sounds weird but that's what seems to be happening. I'm getting really tired of mashed potato and pumpkin and salads but haven't got much choice. I had corn the other day, 2 hours on the toilet. Broccoli yesterday, another 2 hours. If I don't eat wholemeal bread I get hungry and I have to fill up on something. Also, foods that cause intolerance create gas, and stool gets stuck behind the gas, so more delays. So far my safe foods are mashed potato, pumpkin, salad veges, (peas I think) banana and a bit of meat/fish.


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## westr (Jan 27, 2012)

i do get loads of relief from fodmap foods, drinking tea, milk, or eating lots of bread other than wholemeal will give me the hot fecal smell. i was convinced it was an overgrowth of bad flora, which i still think is most of the problem, i just think it all started with straining to hold in a huge gas movement as my leaking gas started a few minutes after that then got progressively worse until i got very ill.

i actually think part of our problem is gastric dumping, food just gets to the colon too soon. whats weird about that is when i corrected my posture i got better looking stools and less gurgling, i have a theory that my bowels were being kept open which influenced speed of digestion. but thats entirely baseless.


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## mylifeisover (Jan 10, 2014)

Hi, I have been to the doctors today and I explained I can control my IBS symptoms, but this problem (LG) continues regardless of anxiety, diet etc. She seemed a lot more helpful than other doctors which suggests you really* need to find a doctor you can get along with. *
She stated that reasons which could have caused my problems included having *Irish Genetics*, apparently lot of digestive problems are passed down from Irish relatives, which seems acceptable because my Dad also seems to have these problems and he is the one I got my Irish genes from.
She is also stating that from *being abroad* can cause IBS to start, and I actually discovered that a holiday in-which I got food poisoning before I noticed my problems can have a major cause on my IBS symptoms, and she has suspicions this can be a cause.

She had sent me off for more tests such as stool examinations and blood tests, to see if I have an *anti-friendly bacterial overgrowths* etc. She says she has had a patient with the same issue come to her and she seems to understand my problems in more detail than others.

I will keep you up to date with what occurs, but I am feeling more confident I can get this sorted out, as long as you can get referred to specialists and don't give up on asking for help and being *specific about your symptoms*, regardless of embarrassment.


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## Mikeydidit (Jan 2, 2012)

there's always someone who has it worse. take comfort in that irrefutable notion that it could always be worse.


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## horizonzero (Nov 17, 2013)

mylifeisover said:


> Hi, I have been to the doctors today and I explained I can control my IBS symptoms, but this problem (LG) continues regardless of anxiety, diet etc. She seemed a lot more helpful than other doctors which suggests you really* need to find a doctor you can get along with. *
> She stated that reasons which could have caused my problems included having *Irish Genetics*, apparently lot of digestive problems are passed down from Irish relatives, which seems acceptable because my Dad also seems to have these problems and he is the one I got my Irish genes from.
> She is also stating that from *being abroad* can cause IBS to start, and I actually discovered that a holiday in-which I got food poisoning before I noticed my problems can have a major cause on my IBS symptoms, and she has suspicions this can be a cause.
> 
> ...


Haha sums my problem up then I'm from Northern Ireland .... Fuck you ancestors


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## westr (Jan 27, 2012)

horizonzero said:


> My Doctor thinks i'm an anxious nutjob who's problems are all psychological, he doesn't have a clue about all the things that the condition have done to make people like that, he actually made me convince myself at once that It was psychological and I forked out a ######-ton of money on hypnotherapy that got me nowhere. I have an appointment with a colorectal and I'm going to get to the bottom of things whether they like it or not.


i had my follow up to an endoscopy 2 days ago, theyve finally decided to refer me to a colo rectal specialist. 2 years after the initial problem, 3 months after my last doctors appointment where i made a new case about my problem and all the symptoms and clues and whatnot. i still feel as though i cleared a hurdle. let us know if you get diagnosed with anything.


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## mylifeisover (Jan 10, 2014)

westr said:


> i had my follow up to an endoscopy 2 days ago, theyve finally decided to refer me to a colo rectal specialist. 2 years after the initial problem, 3 months after my last doctors appointment where i made a new case about my problem and all the symptoms and clues and whatnot. i still feel as though i cleared a hurdle. let us know if you get diagnosed with anything.


I guess that makes 3 then. I have an appointment with a colorectal in around 3 weeks time where im going to explain in detail the problems I have and hopefully they will finally be able to tackle it. Im going to do everything to get surgery (even though its in an embarrassing place to get it). I think if I can tackle this issue, diet right, I can limit my IBS and due to the operation remove any LG occurrences.


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## horizonzero (Nov 17, 2013)

mylifeisover said:


> I guess that makes 3 then. I have an appointment with a colorectal in around 3 weeks time where im going to explain in detail the problems I have and hopefully they will finally be able to tackle it. Im going to do everything to get surgery (even though its in an embarrassing place to get it). I think if I can tackle this issue, diet right, I can limit my IBS and due to the operation remove any LG occurrences.


4 I'm finally seeing a colorectal next week haha hope all of us get it sorted


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## Intothewild (May 11, 2010)

Word of advice; When you go to see the colorectal surgeon if at all possible try and record the meeting(on smartphone or whatever) say it's for purposes of you documenting what is happening to you with the condition or something. This will mean they are on their best behaviour. I seen a colorectal surgeon last year who was so up himself he didn't want to give me the time of day, thankfully i have one now that is taking me seriously and is trying to get to the bottom of the problem. So word of warning, you might need to fight for everything here, unfortunately the medical sector is awash with snobbery and utter disreguard for a persons symptoms.


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## westr (Jan 27, 2012)

^^snobbery is definitely the right word there, once i had a guy make an analogy that he was a ferrari mechanic, although technically that did turn my butt into a ferrari.


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