# Depressed but can't say it



## mommywith2 (Mar 4, 2007)

I am depressed. I know I am, but I can't seem to tell anyone buy my husband. I even don't believe myself sometimes, even though looking around me and seeing how I act, react and things I do or don't know - I KNOW I'm depressed. How do I admit this to the doctor. I trust that the doctor won't laugh at me or anything, but I jsut feel so weird admitting that I'm depressed. I don't know why. I don't believe that I have to be some supermom that is always happy, has to do everything. But I just feel like I need to "buck up" and deal with it. But I can't. It's not that easy. I guess I'm the type that has a hard time asking for help. Not a good thing, necessarily.Why is it so hard to admit?


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## Cherrie (Sep 1, 2006)

Hi, Mommywith2 (*I am very sorry for misspelling your name -- it's a very exhausting day -- I do apologize*!),Maybe you could say to your dr. that you're not feeling right emotionally or something? You know, just saying it without actually saying the word "depressed?" Then describe how you react and feel in a true scenario in life that you think is a good example of feeling depressed? In that way, chances are your dr. may come to his/her own conclusion that you're depressed and need either counselling or meditaion or both? (Like I didn't even realize I have anxiety/depression issues and my dr. figured it out through talking with me.) It's important to seek help from a dr. and get the diagnose and treatment you need. Hope you'll be able to find a good way to express yourself and talk to your dr.Cherrie


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## Jannybitt (Oct 13, 2006)

Hi Mommywith2;I think maybe it might be hard to say it because even to this day, "depressed" can sometimes be seen as "taboo" something we don't talk about. It is WAY better than say 25 years ago, but there are still people out there that just do not understand.If your dr is a good dr, you can go in and say "I'm depressed". You don't have to come up with a reason you are depressed. Sometimes there is no reason. Sometimes it is chemical. I've been depressed; my daughter is bi-polar, and we have a history of depression in my family, so it is open conversation in our family. It's understood, and we have alot of experience with it. The fact that you shared it on here was such a great step. You may not think it's much, but it is. It's almost as good as saying it aloud. A good working relationship with your dr is very important. Reaching out is also important. There are a number of ways to help yourself and to get help. But, you do have to start somewhere and that is by consulting with your dr. He/she may refer you after listening to you. You don't have to go into great details. Counseling may be the answer, and can be a blessing to have someone on the outside to talk to, who can be objective. Medication may be the answer. Both combined is possible. And it's ok. You're not alone. As you can see on this board, many people have experienced the same as you. And don't feel guilty because you are depressed. There are so many that feel they don't "deserve" to be depressed because everything is so good in your life. Two beautiful kids, a husband, etc. Everything on the outside can look so good, but it's what's going on in the inside that matters, and it is not your fault. I hope you can keep sharing here; we're here for you, but more importantly, I hope you seek help so it doesn't get worse, or you just continue to live this way when you don't have to. And when there is opportunity to get better, why wouldn't you do whatever it takes, right? I hope you feel better soon, and just know that you have us to lean on, even though we are virtual strangers, it just doesn't matter. The common bond is there when people are depressed. Good luck to you, mommywith2, and you don't have to "buck up". That's just not necessary.


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## Screamer (Aug 16, 2005)

I was scared too at first. Then I left it too long and by the time I got there I walked into his office and said "I think I'm going to jump off a bridge soon if I don't admit that I need some help". And it went from there. Just tell him/her that you're feeling not right and emotionally over sensitive etc etc and like others have said, tell him/her how you're feeling and reacting to the situations you've noticed you're not doing okay with.


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## Kathleen M. (Nov 16, 1999)

The doctors won't laugh at you for bringing up depression, it isn't a silly thing. It can have serious impact on your general health so the doctors should know about that. Mentioning or admitting to mental health problems has been pretty taboo, and there are a lot of reasons people feel like they can't seek help. So you are not alone in not wanting to talk to the doctor about it.I would encourage you to talk to the doctor about it. It can be treated and you don't have to suffer like you have been.K.


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## mommywith2 (Mar 4, 2007)

Do you think I could call in and talk to the doctor and ask for some anti-depressants? I've been through depression before. For me, life starts feelings out of control, I don't do anything about it, and then I go into depression. I went into depression about 5 years ago while trying to have a baby. Went on them for about 2-3 months. Ended up getting pregnant, and felt good enough to go off them. I did well until after the baby was born. Had a little post-partum depression. Went on pills again for 3-4 month, and felt like I could manage things on my own again.Now I have even more craziness going on in my life, with two kids, some of the same small problems. And now my stomach problems have brought anxiety into my life and depression from feeling like it's never going to get better. I just feel like I need something to get me out of the rut first. Then I feel like I can deal with life better. I just know I'm not being as good of a mom as I should be. Heck, the other day I didn't change my sons diaper until 2:00 pm, because I just didn't think about it. The only reason I thought about it was because he was leaking through to his pants.







.......Oh, and yeah, I would like to call, because it is VERY hard to get places between my anxiety and having two kids.


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## Jannybitt (Oct 13, 2006)

I imagine they will not just give you antidepressants without being seen, but it is important enough to find someone to take care of the kids and go in for the appt. Being on antidepressants for just a little while might be a "quick fix" but you may be the type of person who needs a low dose continually. It's always important to be monitored while on them, and even though it's hard to get away with 2 kids, someone to talk to could be the best thing you could do for your kids. Just think about it.


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## Guest (Jun 14, 2007)

Hey listen - admitting there's a problem - really important first step - get some help - I'm a depressive in remission - well thats how I see myself - I'm on anti-depressants - just about everybody who means summat to me knows about it and is absolutely fine - I'm working and being a half-way decent human being and mum to 3 kids and wife to the wonderful Paul - there is life after a diagnosis of depression - promise!!!!You hang in there kiddo - YOU ARE NOT ALONE.Sue xxxx


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## Car (Jan 20, 2003)

mommywith2 said:


> I am depressed. I know I am, but I can't seem to tell anyone buy my husband. I even don't believe myself sometimes, even though looking around me and seeing how I act, react and things I do or don't know - I KNOW I'm depressed. How do I admit this to the doctor. I trust that the doctor won't laugh at me or anything, but I jsut feel so weird admitting that I'm depressed. I don't know why. I don't believe that I have to be some supermom that is always happy, has to do everything. But I just feel like I need to "buck up" and deal with it. But I can't. It's not that easy. I guess I'm the type that has a hard time asking for help. Not a good thing, necessarily.Why is it so hard to admit?


Hi Sorry to hear you're feeling this way. What the others have said already is right and you do need to see a doctor, as Sue said, admitting it to yourself is the hardest part so don't worry a bit at all about saying it to a doctor. You'll need to bung the kids off on someone else (easier said then done I know) and take some time over a consultation. Book two in a row if you have to. When you do go I'd recommend that you don't go in and say "I'm depressed" Go in and when they say why have you come to see me today or whatever such pleasantry he or she uses, start by saying I'm just not feeling myself lately, I feel like life is a bit out of control. Let them come to the depression conclusion, take the responsibility off yourself. Depression is an evil silent bugger of a thing, I haven't ever suffered with it myself though so I'm not really qualified to comment. It sounds like you have a very full busy life and there's no shame in that getting on top of you. Chin up and keep us posted.Mind yourself


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## mommywith2 (Mar 4, 2007)

I called the place today and made an appointment for a colonscopy. I also asked to talk to my doctor that I've been seeing there. I told the appointment lady that I've had a lot of anxiety and that helped me break the ice. Then the doctor called and I talked to him for a little bit. I know I maybe should have gone in and talked, but the reason I called was because last night I had a panic attack. I've never had one before. I've had times when I felt the "fight or flight" feelings, but never bad. Just would last a moment and go away. This was a full on panic attack.A woman in my church has breast cancer and my husbands grandmother has liver cancer. Because of that, I am just scared about everything lately. You know how you get comfortable and get this "nothing bad will happen to me and my family" lifestyle....? Well, I'm opposite. I'm fearing that everything will happen to me or my family. And I've never been this way before. But the thing is that it is worse than I know I should be. Like I know that I shouldn't worry as much as I am, but I can't help it. And the only time I'm not worrying, is if I'm occuiped with some funny TV show or into a great converstation. But afterwards I go crashing back down. Anyway, the doctor decided to call in some anxiety medicine that will also help with some of the stomach problems. It's a one time order, and if I feel like I still need some after that, I should go to my "usual" doctor and go from there. When you feel like this, you almost can't believe that some people don't think depression or anxiety is real or that they should "get over it". Definately something that needs some work. But for me, I can tell I need something to help me get out of it, in order to work on it.


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## Cherrie (Sep 1, 2006)

Hi ~After reading this recent post, I feel like I could be posting this a few weeks ago. I didn't have a panic attack, but the worrying about family part (funny as it is, since my dad passed because of cancer I have not worried about my own health as much, but I worried about everybody else's and very occasionally I woried about how they'd cope if I died







-- _but that was before I took my meds_) -- What I'm saying is that you DO need to talk with your regular doctor about this! S/he can prescribe something that works well and with medication anxiety can improve so much!Anxiety/depression is certainly not something that we just imagined or could just get over with on our own -- it's a chemical imbalance in the brain and it is a real illess.It was great that you were able to break the ice! Do open this conversation with your regular doctor with the same courage and I'm sure s/he will be able to help you. Cherrie


mommywith2 said:


> I called the place today and made an appointment for a colonscopy. I also asked to talk to my doctor that I've been seeing there. I told the appointment lady that I've had a lot of anxiety and that helped me break the ice. Then the doctor called and I talked to him for a little bit. I know I maybe should have gone in and talked, but the reason I called was because last night I had a panic attack. I've never had one before. I've had times when I felt the "fight or flight" feelings, but never bad. Just would last a moment and go away. This was a full on panic attack.A woman in my church has breast cancer and my husbands grandmother has liver cancer. Because of that, I am just scared about everything lately. You know how you get comfortable and get this "nothing bad will happen to me and my family" lifestyle....? Well, I'm opposite. I'm fearing that everything will happen to me or my family. And I've never been this way before. But the thing is that it is worse than I know I should be. Like I know that I shouldn't worry as much as I am, but I can't help it. And the only time I'm not worrying, is if I'm occuiped with some funny TV show or into a great converstation. But afterwards I go crashing back down. Anyway, the doctor decided to call in some anxiety medicine that will also help with some of the stomach problems. It's a one time order, and if I feel like I still need some after that, I should go to my "usual" doctor and go from there. When you feel like this, you almost can't believe that some people don't think depression or anxiety is real or that they should "get over it". Definately something that needs some work. But for me, I can tell I need something to help me get out of it, in order to work on it.


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## Guest (Jun 18, 2007)

Thank you, thank you, thank you Cherrie - she's right - DEPRESSION IS AN ILLNESS!!!! There is no shame in admitting it - I see my depression as just summat like diabetis - it has to be managed - big step - admitting to yourself - second step - getting some help.Good luckSue xxxxx


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## Jannybitt (Oct 13, 2006)

Thank you girls!!! If only more people would "get it" that depression, anxiety, fear, it's all REAL and it is an ILLNESS!!! You just hang in there. You made the right step in talking to your dr and your next step is to go and actually talk to someone. You probably need something that actually has a combination of medication to take care of the depression and the anxiety. You are not alone as you can see!! We've been there, we sometimes go there, and maybe we'll be on medicine for the rest of our lives. Guess what? That wouldn't bother me in the least! I would gladly stay on my meds if it helps with my IBS and depression, anxiety, etc. Thanks for sharing! Keep posting. It does us all good, because WE know we're not "making it up" or just need to "buck up".


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## Guest (Jun 20, 2007)

Well said babes.Sue xxxx


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## Jannybitt (Oct 13, 2006)

Mommywith2;Are you doing ok? We'd love to hear from you.


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## mommywith2 (Mar 4, 2007)

Jannybitt said:


> Mommywith2;Are you doing ok? We'd love to hear from you.


Yes, I am doing better. I was given some medicine for my anxiety, but I took only one pill a day for two days. I know I wasn't at the full strength it suggested, but I couldn't bring myself to take it. I guess the pharmacist saying that if I was pulled over I could get a DUI kind of scared me on the strength of the pill.So, I decided to tell my mom what was up and how I was feeling. I went to see my family and hang out with them. I went home cause my stomach was bothering me, but my sister came over and hung out with me for a bit. She always seems to be able to cheer me up. That Monday I went to my mom's with my kids and they played outside while I cried off and on all day. I went the next day, and cried occasionally, but not as much. But Wednsday I was able to laugh and smile while there. I didn't go Thursday, and I did alright. I called my sister when I was getting too down. That leads us to today. I've felt a little off today, but not too bad. I would still say I'm depressed, but it's not near as bad as it was. I think it really helped me to be able to talk to my Mom and sister about it. I love my husband, but he just doesn't know what to say. He's there to hold me and love me. My sister and Mom can give me "words of wisdom".My colonscopy is on July 2nd, and I'm going to see how I feel after that. If I'm still as depressed, I will find a regular doctor to talk to and see if I need some medication. I've figured that these are the 3 things that are making me feel down. My stomach problems, my worrying about what it is, and for some reason I'm a little scared about mortality..... My stomach problems are really pretty minimum compared to many people on this board, but the thought that I have something wrong with me, even though not fatal, has made me think too much about mortality.Anyway, thanks for your concern. Being around family more has made a big difference. It helps to not have this all bottled in.


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## Jannybitt (Oct 13, 2006)

mommywith2 said:


> Yes, I am doing better. I was given some medicine for my anxiety, but I took only one pill a day for two days. I know I wasn't at the full strength it suggested, but I couldn't bring myself to take it. I guess the pharmacist saying that if I was pulled over I could get a DUI kind of scared me on the strength of the pill.So, I decided to tell my mom what was up and how I was feeling. I went to see my family and hang out with them. I went home cause my stomach was bothering me, but my sister came over and hung out with me for a bit. She always seems to be able to cheer me up. That Monday I went to my mom's with my kids and they played outside while I cried off and on all day. I went the next day, and cried occasionally, but not as much. But Wednsday I was able to laugh and smile while there. I didn't go Thursday, and I did alright. I called my sister when I was getting too down. That leads us to today. I've felt a little off today, but not too bad. I would still say I'm depressed, but it's not near as bad as it was. I think it really helped me to be able to talk to my Mom and sister about it. I love my husband, but he just doesn't know what to say. He's there to hold me and love me. My sister and Mom can give me "words of wisdom".My colonscopy is on July 2nd, and I'm going to see how I feel after that. If I'm still as depressed, I will find a regular doctor to talk to and see if I need some medication. I've figured that these are the 3 things that are making me feel down. My stomach problems, my worrying about what it is, and for some reason I'm a little scared about mortality..... My stomach problems are really pretty minimum compared to many people on this board, but the thought that I have something wrong with me, even though not fatal, has made me think too much about mortality.Anyway, thanks for your concern. Being around family more has made a big difference. It helps to not have this all bottled in.


Unburden yourself anytime on here! That's what we're here for!!


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