# Would rather be dead



## sr914 (Jul 18, 2007)

Hello all, first time poster...50 year old male, Steve. 25 year sufferer. Going 7-11 times per day and am exhausted, angry, depressed. Have tried every medicine out there, side effects are not worth it. Have started the calcium yesterday, so far, nothing. When I first was diagnosed, I was having "attacks", but now it's just the constant going. The worst part is when I don't go enough, and have that feeling of incomplete evacuation. Loose material swimming and gurgling in my intestines but won't come out. Those are the days when I would rather be dead, like today. I have an extremely stressful job, my wife has stage iv breast cancer, spread to bones and liver, so life is no picnic. Thankfully, I was approved for the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA), through my employer, so I can take days off as I see fit, although I am planning to retire at age 55 just so I don't have to deal with this IBS and work. I feel cursed, what have I done to deserve this fate. I have to wake up 4-5 hours earlier than I need to every day, just so I can try to go 5-6 times before leaving the house. Another 1 or 2 times at work, and another 2 times when I get home. Have had 2 series of bandings for hemmorhoids, am now getting infrared coagulation. Anal fissure is a problem as well, and levator syndrome, extremely painful. Have tried the hypnotherapy cd's, not really a help. I don't believe I will ever be helped. I would never actually take my own life, but I do think about if I was dead, at least I wouldn't have to suffer anymore. I have a textbook case of generalized anxiety disorder, which doesn't help either. Sorry for rambling, but just needed to vent. God bless you all who are affected by this horrendous disorder, I pray that someday, we can all find some relief.


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## twocups (Jul 4, 2007)

Been there done that. Wished I were dead MANY A DAY. I have suffered since I was about 26 and am turning 50 this year. I also have a husband who has had 2 heart attacks, by-pass surgery, back fusion surgery, has diabetes ( which he takes 3 meds a day for ) and sleep apnea. You wonder just how much you can handle!!!!!!!!!!! I still have a 12 year old daughter also. I keep my D in check with Questran and immodium daily. STill get horrible pain on alot of days. I have alot of people here give me grief about seeking out pain meds on those days when you need them. I say, they must not have walked in my shoes or have what I have to deal with. Its very rare I can get pain meds from the drs. to help. I WISH YOU THE BEST , SOMEHOW HANG IN THERE FOR YOUR WIFE. I know its nuts, I don't know where I get the strength some days either but when I ask for it, it comes. I don't do everything i used to. YOUR WORKING EVERYDAY, GOD BLESS YOU, I WORK DURING THE SCHOOL YEAR AND LIVE FOR WEEKENDS AND SUMMER VACATION. Try the calcium, it worked for me for awhile but then stopped, also I have a kidney stone now, so I stay away from it but its worth a try.


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## lake211 (Jul 18, 2007)

I know what you mean.For the last few weeks, which have now all run together, I now feel like being dead. My bowel problems seem to have all changed and turned on me for the worse.I don't have diarrhea but I have the need to go several times in a row which makes me feel worse than before. It's almost explosive! I dread having to go now for fear of making me feel so bad and fear not going as well.I'm all shakey, my vision has changed, I now have high blood pressure (which I think is caused by this ailment), I have anxiety out the ying-yang and this odd burning/tingling sensation in my arms and lower skull when I have to go to the potty that I never had before until the last few months!I hate getting older. I thought all this would change for the better when I went through the change but now I think I should of never ever thought that. I have lost interest in all the things I once enjoyed. I don't want to do anything because I feel so drained and worn out. I feel like no one is really listening to me.I'm the mother of a 23 year old special needs mentally challenged daughter. She can do a lot for herself and has a little part time job five days a week BUT she needs me since I am the more understanding parent. I have a lot to worry about since I am the mother. My husband is overweight and I worry about him because he makes no effort at a lifestyle change. He needs to take batter care of himself so he can be here for her in case I can't.I currently take Robinul Forte which is changing to Bently along with the forever Aciphex. Now a trial period Amitizia but the last time I took that it gave me bad cramps so don't know if I want to take that again. I know I need a colonoscopy but am just so tired and worn down.I'm afraid and tired and need some relief from this hell. This is my second posting today and this is my first day here.


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## sr914 (Jul 18, 2007)

twocups said:


> Been there done that. Wished I were dead MANY A DAY. I have suffered since I was about 26 and am turning 50 this year. I also have a husband who has had 2 heart attacks, by-pass surgery, back fusion surgery, has diabetes ( which he takes 3 meds a day for ) and sleep apnea. You wonder just how much you can handle!!!!!!!!!!! I still have a 12 year old daughter also. I keep my D in check with Questran and immodium daily. STill get horrible pain on alot of days. I have alot of people here give me grief about seeking out pain meds on those days when you need them. I say, they must not have walked in my shoes or have what I have to deal with. Its very rare I can get pain meds from the drs. to help. I WISH YOU THE BEST , SOMEHOW HANG IN THERE FOR YOUR WIFE. I know its nuts, I don't know where I get the strength some days either but when I ask for it, it comes. I don't do everything i used to. YOUR WORKING EVERYDAY, GOD BLESS YOU, I WORK DURING THE SCHOOL YEAR AND LIVE FOR WEEKENDS AND SUMMER VACATION. Try the calcium, it worked for me for awhile but then stopped, also I have a kidney stone now, so I stay away from it but its worth a try.


Thanks, twocups. I am being strong for my wife. Don't let anyone get to you as far as what you perceive as too much pain. If you need the meds, get them. People who have normal functioning bowels don't realize what a blessing they have. My entire life is ruled by my IBS. And it seems as I've gotten older, it's only gotten worse. The anti-spasmodics are the worst, for me anyway. They make me feel like I need to go, but can't, which is the way I feel most days without the meds. I'd rather go 8 times in the morning and feel emptied out. The friends who I have confided in just can't understand that the medical community can't do anything to help me. And alot of people think it's all in your head. I try to explain that stress does play a part, but is not the cause. You hang in there, I guess what doesn't kill us, makes us stronger, even though on some days, like today, I feel like giving up.


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## sr914 (Jul 18, 2007)

lake211 said:


> I know what you mean.For the last few weeks, which have now all run together, I now feel like being dead. My bowel problems seem to have all changed and turned on me for the worse.I don't have diarrhea but I have the need to go several times in a row which makes me feel worse than before. It's almost explosive! I dread having to go now for fear of making me feel so bad and fear not going as well.I'm all shakey, my vision has changed, I now have high blood pressure (which I think is caused by this ailment), I have anxiety out the ying-yang and this odd burning/tingling sensation in my arms and lower skull when I have to go to the potty that I never had before until the last few months!I hate getting older. I thought all this would change for the better when I went through the change but now I think I should of never ever thought that. I have lost interest in all the things I once enjoyed. I don't want to do anything because I feel so drained and worn out. I feel like no one is really listening to me.I'm the mother of a 23 year old special needs mentally challenged daughter. She can do a lot for herself and has a little part time job five days a week BUT she needs me since I am the more understanding parent. I have a lot to worry about since I am the mother. My husband is overweight and I worry about him because he makes no effort at a lifestyle change. He needs to take batter care of himself so he can be here for her in case I can't.I currently take Robinul Forte which is changing to Bently along with the forever Aciphex. Now a trial period Amitizia but the last time I took that it gave me bad cramps so don't know if I want to take that again. I know I need a colonoscopy but am just so tired and worn down.I'm afraid and tired and need some relief from this hell. This is my second posting today and this is my first day here.


Lake211 - seems like we all have our own crosses to bear. Life is tough enough without having to endure this hell, as you put it. And believe me, it does feel like hell most days. I envy people who can just get up in the morning and never have to think about going to the bathroom. When it comes, they go, and it's over. Imagine that!!!! I had hurt my back a few weeks back and was on some strong narcotics which constipated me, but I felt great. It was like I had a small glimpse of what life could be like without IBS-D. Next week I see my gi doc again, he'll try another med which probably will have side effects which are too much to handle. I just wish he could give me something that would make me non-aware of my intestines. Please stay strong, I am going to keep on posting. It may not cure our symptoms, but sharing with each other lets us know we are not alone in our struggles. Take care.


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## overitnow (Nov 25, 2001)

I'm glad you have started on the calcium. There is a good chance that will stop the worst of this.There are a number of us who have found various ways out of this living hell. I am fortunate to be one of them. If the Caltrate is only a partial fix, don't give up on the search. There are approaches that don't have the side-effects of your doctor's meds.Good luck and welcome. And my best to your wife, as well.Mark


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## MCL (Jul 16, 2007)

Sr914 - Hello! I'm a 30 year old female & only found this group yesterday. Like you, i have often had days where i tell myself i would be better off dead. I was diagnosed with IBS-D last year & the past couple of months things have got much worse. I was made redundant 2 weeks ago & i now have the agony of applying for new jobs & the terrifying though of going to interviews. The past few days i have been getting severe panic attacks & i am now in a position where i am too scared to leave the house. I went to see my doctor who is now trying to help me with my anxiety.The only advice i can give you is keep posting on this forum. I know i have hit rock bottom & am trying to get out, but finding this site has given me so much support. On here you know you are not alone. I've only been on here for 2 days & i've had more help & support from the wonderful people on here than i've had from all the doctors i've seen put together. This is a place where you can tell people what you're going though without any shame, & with people who don't just understand but KNOW what you are going through...and trust me that helps. Until yesterday i felt so alone in this but now i know i'm not.Stay on here & keep talking to people, we are all here to support each other. I wish you & your wife all the very best & i hope to see you on here again.x


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## mommywith2 (Mar 4, 2007)

I started taking the calcium last Thursday. It took about 2-3 days before things got better for me. Hopefully in the next few days it will work for you.


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## LNAPE (Feb 9, 1999)

I am here to help you with the calcium if you need it. It can be pretty amazing as to how quick things can turn around when you start taking it. Email me if you like and I will try to help you get on a dose that will help you. Just start now and don't wait. I will send you info in the private message so read it and try to follow it as close as you can.Linda


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## AIRPLANE (Mar 15, 2004)

I can totally relate, Steve. I'm a 48 year old female and was 25 when my problems began after improper lifting at work. My body drastically changed 2 weeks after the incident. I stopped getting normal 'stomach' aches and instead all of the pain switched down to the groin area and I developed severe diarrhea when before I had always leaned toward constipation. I had pounding pelvic pain 24-7 and when I wasn't going to the biff I was passing huge amounts of wind probably every other minute. I could not believe I was given the IBS label- I had not and still have never heard of IBS beginning with improper lifting.In fact, the first doctor I went to after about a month didn't even examine me-he just stood in the door and chuckled and said I had IBS and told the nurse to give me a copy of a bland diet with 'lots of fruits and vegetables'-exactly what most people with diarrhea need the least! The harder I would try to explain my symptoms the angrier the physicians would become. When I would explain the difficulty of living with it, especially the excessive gas problem, some of them would actually laugh and tell me I was exaggerating or making it up. And when they tell you you need mental help, they can't seem to figure out that you were probably pretty OK before the digestive difficulties began but it is fruitless trying to explain that YES, you are under duress, but only since the so-called IBS began!At least you do have a family. I had not yet even began to date because I was still trying to find a job that paid well enough to move out of my folks' home and thought that when I got into my 30s I would be settled into my own place and could then start to live my life. I am the youngest of 3 and always felt that my mother's excessive worrying kind of held me back. I thought if I were patient I would get out on my own- as far back as I can remember I couldn't wait to be out on my own because I hated always being the 'baby' in the family but once this IBS began I felt as though I lost total control of my life. My folks are still alive and believe it or not I'm still living with them- this is NOT what I had in mind for my life. My sister was unable to have kids, my brother never got around to it, and I always thought that I eventually would be the one to have children. My mother was an only child and my father never really had a family. We are beginning to wonder if anyone will show up at our funerals! What will happen to the family photos that have been passed down from generation to generation?So I can definitely relate to wanting to do whatever it takes to be rid of the pain, physically and mentally. While my symptoms have somewhat changed, I still have plenty of difficulty whether at work or in the store, etc. The few times I thought someone might be interested in me romantically they quickly lost interest after being around me at the wrong time, if you know what I mean, and yet my mother, doctors, etc, claim I imagine these things! That attitiude does not help at all! I even had a hysterectomy at age 38 when I decided I was not going to feel better in time to even consider doing the things you need to have children, and lo and behold, it did not help and maybe caused some new problems which made me further depressed for some time.When I look back at the past 23 years, they have been worthless but yet I could never hurt my folks (even though it would be nice if they would try to understand this condition a bit). It truly does destroy lives and human potential. But somehow we carry on despite it! Take care-you're not alone and best of all, it sounds like you're almost to retirement- now THAT is something worth waiting for! I've got at least 10 years left-and that is if I can afford to retire on time.


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## sr914 (Jul 18, 2007)

I did the calcium for a couple of days, but it made me feel the same as the anti-sposmadics, the urge to go, but could not. I didn't take it last night and this morning I was able to go 5 times, feel pretty much emptied out which is the feeling I am looking for. As I've stated, I'd rather go multiple times and feel empty, than be slowed down and not be able to go at all. Thanks to all of you who have posted here, your kindness and sympathy are very much appreciated.


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## twocups (Jul 4, 2007)

What do you think of this thery? YOur insides are irritated, but when you take something to firm up the stool, its pushing against the walls of your colon which are already irritated and they are still spasming. I've felt that way too. I think , ( we are all different) maybe if you stick with it for a few days and try to push past that feeling, the walls may heal alittle ( if your stools are firmer) and then the sensation may pass . I dunno, like I said , the calcium helped me for a while also then quit. Have you tried the questran?


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## sr914 (Jul 18, 2007)

I have not tried Questran, but have tried Combid, Bentyl, Librax, doc has mentioned Lomotil next. For me to continue the calcium I would definitely need time off from work to see if I can get past what I was feeling initially. That's going to be tough, since I'd rather shoot myself than deal with that feeling. Now today, I am on top of the world, a rarity. Feel empty, no bubbling, gurgling, no urge to go. These days are becoming few and far between. Guess I'll just enjoy it, cause you never know what tomorrow may bring. This IBS is so unpredictable. I live in Florida, and I've just found out my sister, her husband, and my niece will be visiting from New York in October, and I'm already worrying about how my IBS will be. I really want to enjoy their brief stay. Another example of how everything in my life is ruled by this.


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## LNAPE (Feb 9, 1999)

You do have to adjust that feeling that you must be totally empty to feel right. Since you have been doing this for a while it will take a while for that to pass. I know you think if nothing is in there I will not have a problem so I can work or do what I need to do. This is not always right.Maybe taking 1/2 tablet once a day for a few day will let some of that feel go away when you see you can have a firm movement and not totally empty. It will help with the spasms also and the rumblings also.Linda


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## 15976 (Nov 22, 2006)

If you have generalized anxiety disorder, give medication for anxiety a try. I think Paxil, Effexor, Cymbalta, and the tricyclics are all very constipating. You might find relief.


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## Verleen (Jan 5, 2007)

Hey, SR14, try to hang in there. We all know this is such a frustrating, depressing, unpredictable disease and everyone has ideas on how to cope and what to take, eat, etc. Just read the forums but especially give the calcium time. Also, Overitnow has REALLY good advice. Maybe try to e-mail him personally and chat with him. I can't give you anything other than what everyone else has said. First, you are not alone, second the stress you are going through with your wife along with everything else will really throw you into a tailspin. Take a deep breath and blow it out slowly! I know how depressed you are. It's a depressing ailment with NO real help from the medical people. Just remember, you have friends and support here!!!!


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## sr914 (Jul 18, 2007)

Thanks to everyone for your input. Kad - I take 1mg of Clonopin at bedtime for the anxiety. I have tried most of the SSRI's and tricyclics, they all make me feel wired, like a took a powerful amphetamine. Linda - thank you so much for your advice. I am going to have to think about it though, I just can't bear that feeling of needing to go, but can't. Jeez, I see all I've posted, makes me feel like such a lost case. My wife, with terminal cancer, (thankfully in partial remission), doesn't complain near as much as I do, God bless her.


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## twocups (Jul 4, 2007)

That's great your wife doesn't complain. I know the treatments for cancer are sometimes worse than the cancer itself. I mean the treatments cause pain , nausea, etc. But this can prove that though IBS-D is not life threatening, it is still a horrible, PAINFUL, distressing, life altering DISEASE. That people don't really realize or give us credit for.


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## celestin (May 20, 2004)

sr914 said:


> Hello all, first time poster...50 year old male, Steve. 25 year sufferer. Going 7-11 times per day and am exhausted, angry, depressed. Have tried every medicine out there, side effects are not worth it............................................... Sorry for rambling, but just needed to vent. God bless you all who are affected by this horrendous disorder, I pray that someday, we can all find some relief.


Hello sr914, you've made a good description of...my life....you are not the only one...By the way, I wake up 5/6 times each night......


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## 21723 (Aug 19, 2005)

I hear you man. I am a 47yo male with very similar symptoms for 15 yrs. My wife has been our main bread winner but now also because of illness is unable to do so. I desperately need a cure NOW! so I can support us. Thank goodness I have a big life ins policy to take care of my wife if it comes to that.After trying all sorts of drugs I think I am on to something with a shotgun approach. I am on a gluten free low fat diet with calcium and digestive enzymes with each meal, exercise 3xwk, Lomotil, Imodium and Prilosec as needed. Any one of the above did not help alone. You may want to give it a try. Good luck, it has to change sometime.


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## lyn_1968 (Jul 18, 2007)

KAD said:


> If you have generalized anxiety disorder, give medication for anxiety a try. I think Paxil, Effexor, Cymbalta, and the tricyclics are all very constipating. You might find relief.


Paxil is not constipating! I posted this somewhere else, but in case you didn't see it: "SSRI Antidepressants (Prozac, Celexa, Zoloft and Paxil) stimulate serotonin production and can trigger severe IBS attacks in diarrhea-predominant patients". ("IBS The First Year", Heather Van Vorous).


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## Prudy (Jan 21, 2006)

I think in the midst of our problems.. we all feel this way at one time or another.. It is all in what you do to try to help yourself .... sometimes we have to take things in stride and flow with it.. or take things in hand and do something about it.. We are in charge of our health.. and well being.. It is up to each of us we can either chose to lay down and give up... or stand up and fight... My prayers go out for your wife... she has much on her plate to deal with.. I am glad she is in remission.. Bless her heart... I pray it continues for her.. If I can be a little blunt... Your wife is a good example to you about fighting... a disease.. hers has the potential of taking her life... and she is fighting for her life by doing what she has to do to stay alive.. for herself, you and your children if you have any... I am sure living is first on her mind.. she does what she has to... and so should you..Take her lead... and forget about that phrase.. Is life worth living.. Of course it is.. for her sake it is.. As a believer in the calcium... your reasons for not continuing it are foolish.. blunt again.. sorry.. But, sometimes... it baffles me how some people think.. after going 10 and 11 times a day... and the calcium was firming and slowing it down.. and you don't like that feeling.. ??? Hey buddy,,, you can't have it both ways.. Sure you're not used to it.. but like anything.. your body needs to adjust.. and learn ... you didn't even give it a chance.. you tried it, what, a couple of days.. What kind of try is that??? IMHO... no try at all.. You may have hit on something to help you after all the meds you are on.. but aren't willing to use it... you would rather go on as you are??? Makes me wonder how serious you are about helping yourself..Sorry blunt.. again!!! Sorry if this offends you in any way.. but sometimes.. blunt is the only way to get someone to actually see how contradicting they sound..Either way I wish you all the best.. esp your wife..


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## sr914 (Jul 18, 2007)

Prudy, thank you for your best wishes for my wife. I am not offended in any way. I completely understand what you are saying, I've said it to myself. The fact is, I cannot bear the feeling of needing to go, but can't. Honestly, I would rather go 10 times a day and feel emptied, then go once, or twice, or three times, but still feel the loose stool swimming in my intestines. I know I did not give the calcium a try. But for the two days I took it, I was totally miserable. I could not function, period. Today I went six times before leaving the house for work, and I feel wonderful. Maybe/probably, I will never function normally. But to have to suffer to POSSIBLY get some relief is a difficult proposition. Linda suggested I start with just 1/2 tablet once a day. I may give that a try, but will wait for the weekend to start. Easier to feel lousy on the weekend than have to come to work and deal with customers with alien trying to break out of my bowels. I appreciate your candor.


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## Prudy (Jan 21, 2006)

I am glad you aren't offended.. Believe me when I tell you I know what you are talking about.. IT IS strange to not go and go and go until you are empty. But I think as I stated in another post... I don't think our rectums are used to having formed stool in there.. it does feel strange... and to only go ... one.. two or three times seems not enough... but you do get used to it.. and When I felt I was getting a little harder to pass stool than I wanted.. I just added a fiber supplement and that works in softening.. but it also helps in moving it all along as well.. so I don't feel bound up... There was tweaking I had to do ... to get my dose to work for me.. we are all individual and need to find what makes us feel well... I have to admit.. I do feel well most days... and that is a great feeling.. believe me.. I thank God daily for finding this forum and reading about the calcium.. it made that much of a difference in my life.. I hope you find an answer for yourself as well... and I wish you well too...not only your wife..I am a big advocate to breast cancer awareness.. it is great to hear of those who are beating it... Tell your wife there are many out there giving whatever they can to help the cause.. Strength, hope, fight, survive, win....!!!!! And most of all faith...!!!


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## overitnow (Nov 25, 2001)

sr914 said:


> Maybe/probably, I will never function normally. But to have to suffer to POSSIBLY get some relief is a difficult proposition.


Personally, I would rather be well than dead...Please, don't let this get the best of you. If you give this permission to win, it will. Trying to work your way through all of the potential therapies will take both time and patience, unless you can figure out what brought this on; but nothing happens without a reason and most conditions can be reversed or at least addressed. See if you can find the Caltrate chews. It is easier to adjust your dose with those. If you still don't have results you are happy with over a couple of weeks, then try something else. Calcium has hundreds (thousands?) of adherants; but it is not the only approach that works. If you want a list, I am sure we can put one together for you. Good luck.Mark


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## sr914 (Jul 18, 2007)

Saw the GI doc today....he basically threw up his hands, doesn't want to see me for a year. No new meds, nothing. He said work is being done on medications, perhaps something new will be approved soon. Walked out feeling more hopeless. Am seeing a different gastroenterologist who is treating my hemmorhoids (infrared coagulation). Will see if he can address my IBS. I did mention the calcium, he said he had limited results from it. I will try to start it again this weekend. Amazing that the medical community can't help us more. Here I am telling this doctor I am going on average 10x a day, and I walk out the same as I walked in.


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## UTSophie (Jul 20, 2007)

I know how you feel







. I get depressed sometimes because I am 22, just finished college with a huge amount of debt, and can't even get a job much less go to an interview, as another post mentioned, because my stomach gets in the way of EVERYTHING!!! I feel like I've let so many people down because I have to break my plans, my only friend in town is my fiance...and that's only because he sees how sick I get and knows I'm not making it up! I think one of the hardest things about having IBS is that, although it's not so uncommon, there are still plenty of people who don't understand it...and, what's worse, they practically judge us for having it because they don't have it themselves. I'm even thinking about getting on disability if things don't get better...but even though it's very annoying/saddening to have this kind of disorder because it can take the joy away from our life and our ability to have pleasant experiences without having to worry about running to a bathroom, life is definitely still worth living. Sometimes I see this IBS as the enemy, and I'm at war with it...each day I have the chance to either win or lose the war. I've lost the war when I let the IBS take control of my emotions/attitude. Even though this IBS can take its hellish toll on my body, it can't destroy my spirit. As long as I'm alive, I have the ability to love others...even if it's just the people I live with when I can't leave the house. And believe me, there are plenty of days when I am one of the worst people to be around because I get so angry having this illness, but I try to remember that I'm still in control of the most important things, my mind and my soul--those are what make you who you are, not the IBS. I just had a horrible attack yesterday, had to quit the job I just started a day earlier...but I have to keep at it, one prayer after another, in hopes that eventually a real cure will come along for people like us.


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## overitnow (Nov 25, 2001)

I remember the one and only time I went to my GP about this and he made some comment about how looking up my bum at the end of a Friday was absolutely the last way he wanted to end the week. That was the end of my seeing doctors about this until I finally found my own treatment. As it turned out, that might have been the best medical decision I, personally, made.Another doctor, whom I saw after beginning the flavonoids, said it all sounded like IBS to her, especially given it's duration. First time I ever heard of it. She also told me that most GIs she knew were not particularly interested in IBS. They all wanted to cure cancer. (Then there was the time I was directed out of one GIs office for having the nerve to want to find someone in the field who would be interested in my experience.)Other than the Dr Drossmans and others who are experts in the field, and whom we are not likely to ever see, it really is shooting at a target in the dark for them, as well as us. Now I read in one of eric's posts that one doctor says if you don't have pain, you don't have IBS. So even though the flavonoids have helped others with pain as well as me, that must just be a coincidence. It wasn't IBS, it was Painless Diarrhea!I dunno. Happy that I don't have to sit in waiting rooms to be told to eat fiber or it is all in my head or to just get used to it or we'll try you on some anti-ds...Time for my summer holidays.Hope you find something around here that works on you.Mark


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## celestin (May 20, 2004)

sr914 said:


> Saw the GI doc today....he basically threw up his hands, doesn't want to see me for a year. No new meds, nothing.


Doctors are all the same. He does not like this disease because he has 'nothing' for you. So, see you within one year, please, not before... A good ulcer, it's much easier: omeprazole, antibiotics, and let us check within 6 weeks. New examination, much better, some more omeprazole and new check etc etc.. But for IBS-D they are lost. So, what does he want? Easy: he wants that you go and see another doctor...Follow this board, it is the best in the world for IBS-D (I mean severe IBS-D) and you will find some useful help.


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## twocups (Jul 4, 2007)

sr914 said:


> Saw the GI doc today....he basically threw up his hands, doesn't want to see me for a year. No new meds, nothing. He said work is being done on medications, perhaps something new will be approved soon. Walked out feeling more hopeless. Am seeing a different gastroenterologist who is treating my hemmorhoids (infrared coagulation). Will see if he can address my IBS. I did mention the calcium, he said he had limited results from it. I will try to start it again this weekend. Amazing that the medical community can't help us more. Here I am telling this doctor I am going on average 10x a day, and I walk out the same as I walked in.


There is something they can give and don't . Years ago you could buy Peragoric over the counter, a very low dose of codeine , which controlled diarrhea. They have taken it off the market because so many morons misuse stuff. Few people on here have gotten it because they have a decent dr. I haven't . I fumble through life too, disgusted with drs. The last one swore he would send me to a pain clinic if I didn't find relief. I jumped through all his hoops and then the last appointment he told me ' well the Pain clinic I was using , the dr. doesn't want to deal with IBS-D anymore". I went home and cried half the night.


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## laurcon (Jul 29, 2007)

sr914 said:


> Lake211 - seems like we all have our own crosses to bear. Life is tough enough without having to endure this hell, as you put it. And believe me, it does feel like hell most days. I envy people who can just get up in the morning and never have to think about going to the bathroom. When it comes, they go, and it's over. Imagine that!!!! I had hurt my back a few weeks back and was on some strong narcotics which constipated me, but I felt great. It was like I had a small glimpse of what life could be like without IBS-D. Next week I see my gi doc again, he'll try another med which probably will have side effects which are too much to handle. I just wish he could give me something that would make me non-aware of my intestines. Please stay strong, I am going to keep on posting. It may not cure our symptoms, but sharing with each other lets us know we are not alone in our struggles. Take care.


Percocet has helped my IBS when I took it for other conditions as well. What about a small dose of percocet as part of IBS therapy for some people?Similar to those with chronic pain. I would think what we suffer is "chronic pain". I also find that taking xanax can help lessen my intestinal pain in a severe attack. I, like many other, suffer from severe anxiety as well, although that is getting better for me somewhat.The one wonder-drug I've found is a really simple one, marijuana. I should post a new topic on that however.The bottom line is, we need to be free to choose what we want to put in our bodies and have the support of our physicians.


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## tpoo (Aug 5, 2007)

Hi SteveHang in there - I know it is tough and I often wonder myself what I did to deserve this. Having other stressful events in your life just makes it worse as well. I often feel like I am alone out there and the only person on the earth suffering through this. I feel better when I come on and see that there are other people who are going through what I am and understand how very horrible it is to have to deal with. I have been suffering with this for about 13 years now. It has gotten progressively worse and I am up to about 4 to 6 a day on the Immodium scale. I have had several incidents of fecal incontinence and thankfully have some very understanding people in my life. My last incident was when I was driving home on the freeway and my tire blew out. I was trying to make it home because I was having terrible stomach cramps and pow went the tire and then pow went my bowels. I was trying to jump into the back seat and go in a trash bag I carry with me, but coudn't make it. I had to call my mom to come and pick me up and my boyfriend to fix my tire. It was late, so I couldn't clean it up until the next day. Whew - unbelievable. I broke my Little Green Clean Machine - it was just too much for it! I know this sucks - I am constantly wondering why I have to deal with this and the limitations I feel it places on my life. I am really sorry to hear about your wife, but it is good she has you by her side. I have depression, anger, frustration, fear, and anxiety all connected to my IBS, but I try to keep a good sense of humor about the whole thing and I share my experiences and feelings with people that I trust which helps. I am actually able to laugh about it sometimes too. All of my close friends and family know so they know when I say my stomach is giving me problems, what I mean. It would be great if you could figure out a way to retire earlier - the stressful job can't be helping. I have been taking calcium which helps some and helps my stomach pain also. I love my Immodium. Couldn't leave the house without them. I get really angry when I go to the store and can't shop because I have to go to the bathroom so many times. Sometimes I just give up and go home. Sometimes I worry that the people in the store will think I am shoplifting because I go to the bathroom so many times. Well, I guess I am just rambling too, but wanted you to know there are people out here who understand what you are going through. Take care of yourself and your wife. T


sr914 said:


> Hello all, first time poster...50 year old male, Steve. 25 year sufferer. Going 7-11 times per day and am exhausted, angry, depressed. Have tried every medicine out there, side effects are not worth it. Have started the calcium yesterday, so far, nothing. When I first was diagnosed, I was having "attacks", but now it's just the constant going. The worst part is when I don't go enough, and have that feeling of incomplete evacuation. Loose material swimming and gurgling in my intestines but won't come out. Those are the days when I would rather be dead, like today. I have an extremely stressful job, my wife has stage iv breast cancer, spread to bones and liver, so life is no picnic. Thankfully, I was approved for the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA), through my employer, so I can take days off as I see fit, although I am planning to retire at age 55 just so I don't have to deal with this IBS and work. I feel cursed, what have I done to deserve this fate. I have to wake up 4-5 hours earlier than I need to every day, just so I can try to go 5-6 times before leaving the house. Another 1 or 2 times at work, and another 2 times when I get home. Have had 2 series of bandings for hemmorhoids, am now getting infrared coagulation. Anal fissure is a problem as well, and levator syndrome, extremely painful. Have tried the hypnotherapy cd's, not really a help. I don't believe I will ever be helped. I would never actually take my own life, but I do think about if I was dead, at least I wouldn't have to suffer anymore. I have a textbook case of generalized anxiety disorder, which doesn't help either. Sorry for rambling, but just needed to vent. God bless you all who are affected by this horrendous disorder, I pray that someday, we can all find some relief.


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## kurrhlovesu2 (Aug 11, 2007)

lake211 said:


> I know what you mean.For the last few weeks, which have now all run together, I now feel like being dead. My bowel problems seem to have all changed and turned on me for the worse.I don't have diarrhea but I have the need to go several times in a row which makes me feel worse than before. It's almost explosive! I dread having to go now for fear of making me feel so bad and fear not going as well.I'm all shakey, my vision has changed, I now have high blood pressure (which I think is caused by this ailment), I have anxiety out the ying-yang and this odd burning/tingling sensation in my arms and lower skull when I have to go to the potty that I never had before until the last few months!I hate getting older. I thought all this would change for the better when I went through the change but now I think I should of never ever thought that. I have lost interest in all the things I once enjoyed. I don't want to do anything because I feel so drained and worn out. I feel like no one is really listening to me.I'm the mother of a 23 year old special needs mentally challenged daughter. She can do a lot for herself and has a little part time job five days a week BUT she needs me since I am the more understanding parent. I have a lot to worry about since I am the mother. My husband is overweight and I worry about him because he makes no effort at a lifestyle change. He needs to take batter care of himself so he can be here for her in case I can't.I currently take Robinul Forte which is changing to Bently along with the forever Aciphex. Now a trial period Amitizia but the last time I took that it gave me bad cramps so don't know if I want to take that again. I know I need a colonoscopy but am just so tired and worn down.I'm afraid and tired and need some relief from this hell. This is my second posting today and this is my first day here.


My doctor has started me on Amitizia and I HATE it! It makes my stomach cramp so bad its unreal. I am tired of living with SEVERE IBS-D and dont want it to progress to anything like colon cancer.


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## sr914 (Jul 18, 2007)

IBS does not progress to cancer, as opposed to Crohn's which can.


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## Jim63135 (Sep 1, 2007)

Steve, I've SUFFERED chronically for 20 years going to GI specialist after another, tests after another and would still have CHRONIC diarreah, constipation, cramps, lower back pain and finally incontinence. I was on FMLA so much for six years because of having bowel issues at work, it was terrible. I had thoughts of being fired and committing suicide. My social life was ruined, couldn't leave the house much.I found a new GI specialist and he put me on Impipramine 25 mg just about two weeks ago AND IT'S A MIRACLE DRUG for me. I have not had one uncontrolled bowel movement since I've been on the drug. It's turned my life around. I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS WAS NOT PRESCRIBED TO ME YEARS AGO. I went through absolute living hell for 20 years, all gone now. He also prescribed me Prevacid and Lorazapam which do a lot for me too. He's the best GI doctor I've ever been too.The only side effect I do have which I see others report too, is sleeplessness, maybe only 2-3 hours a night compared to my 8 hrs before..... but talk to your doctor, there's always sleeping pills that can help that.Don't give up hope though because it took me 20 years to find the right medicine to work (so far). The drug caught me off guard because I know someone who take it for bladder control, didn't know it worked for IBS too.I have other health problems too, triple-heart bypass, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, high diabetis, IBS, and peripherial artery disease in both legs. I'm 47 now, heart surgery at 45, I always said my next step if I get fired would be Social Security, etc. If you haven't already talked to your doctor about imipramine, ask him about it. It made all the difference in the world to me (so far).


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## TeeZe-Boy (Jun 12, 2007)

Hope my post helps you out.http://www.ibsgroup.org/forums/index.php?s...mp;#entry674353Get your feet checked out.


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## ibsdsufferer (Sep 3, 2007)

Hello, although my problems are no where near as greatly as most of you guys, I found that my IBSD started about a year after I had a termination at the age of 18 (although some of you may not believe in termination, I had good reasons to go through with it). I got into a huge debt and basically just 'had a good time' on the money I had borrowed. Soon as the money was gone, I went into deep depression, drank 2 bottles of wine everyday and tried to take my life. Shortly after that, my troubles began with my bowels. It wasnt really D at first, mostly just continual pains at the top of my tummy and abdomen when I felt wind moving through my bowels, so I went to the doctor. He put a stephoscope to my tummy and said 'I don't hear anything' and that was that. That was 5 years ago? After that, the D started. Wasn't too bad at first but was worried about going out and being caught needing the bathroom without one being around... so I went back to the doctor, told him my symptoms and told him that I think I have IBS (BIG MISTAKE!)... he said... 'Its IBS then' threw a prescription of Meberverine at me. These contain Meberverine Hydrochloride, lactose, talc, povidone , magnesium stearate and others... I took them for 3 weeks and nothing. So i went back and he said 'theres nothing else for IBS' and didn't even offer to refer me to get tests (even though I'd still be on the waiting list now if I did - good old NHS). Thanks Doc! So anyway, I started dating a guy I met on the internet 3 and a half years ago, and was so worried when he came over last year to meet up for the first time, although he knew my problems and that I am a sufferer of Psoriasis, Asthma and IBS. While he was here, I woke up at 4am with the most indescribable pain I could ever imagine, I went to the toilet, and couldnt go although it felt like I was going to go in my pants! I also felt like throwing up at the same time, but neither would happen, I really wanted to call the ambulance (thats how much pain I was in) but didn't want to move far from the toilet... An hour passed and I finally fell back to sleep and was bed ridden for the next day, although my bf (now fiance) nursed me. I couldnt even take him to see the sites in London, we got to the museum and I just felt so drained and didn't want to move far from the Ladies room... Last year my parents split up (and are going through a divroce at the moment) so I am living with my mum and helping her get through all the emotional stress (she lost over 4 stone from losing her husband) and that also caused me to go into deep depression once again. So now i'm 24, I went to America this summer to visit my fiance for 3 months to 'get away from it all', has extreme gas on the airplaine (which is embarrassing nethertheless) and while I was there, I took Immodium AD almost every other day, before that I would come out of the bathroom in tears, from frustration rather than pain as I have an extremely high pain tollerance. Now I've finally had enough of 'putting up with it' and honestly, haven't tried anything else for my IBS up until now. I found this amazing website with all these wonderful people telling their stories which made me tear up at almost every one. I am starting Linda's idea of the Calcium and vitamin D, I am cutting out wheat, most dairy and low fat dieting, gallons of water (maybe a slight exaggeration) as well as giving up smoking. As of yesterday! My depression is still there, although these last few days I have felt great and really good about myself. So, doctor's don't help, people like you guys do. Thank you so much for your suggestions and stories and support. You are all wonderful people and God Bless every single one of you going through this irritating, annoying, frustrating and painful time. My fiance is still very supportive of me and when we're together he nurses me and makes me get into bed when I have a 'bad tummy' god bless him for taking such good care of me.


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## julie b (Sep 14, 2005)

Steve - So many trips to the bathroom! Log on to www.habbasyndrome.com. This is a new condidtion discovered by Dr Habba in New Jersey. The symptoms are similar to IBS. Also, people with Habba syndrome are not helped by traditional IBS remedies, like you. You may have this. Find a G.I. doctor that will order this test. (a test of gall bladder function not routinely given to IBS patients). The cure is a pill half hour before you eat. I hope this is you. Good luck. I hope you are having a good day today. Julie B.


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## suz11 (Sep 9, 2007)

Wow, I thought I was the only one suffering with this disease(not really, but it is so sad to see so many of us having our lives altered by this). Very often I feel as if I wish this were all over with and wonder what I am being punished for. My life revolves around this disease....can't make plans, never know how I am going to feel, food terrifies me and am losing weight that I cannot afford to lose. Friends who wonder why a doctor or naturopath or anyone can't help. I have tried everything but for today, I am not giving up although a few hours ago I was ready to. I am the only one around to take care of my 90 year old dad so if I was not here ,I don't know what he would do. That often keeps me from doing anything drastic. But the anger and sadness and the inability to have any control whatsoever of my body is a constant struggle as I know it is for all of you. I just keep praying and holding on to the little bit of hope that I can muster up.


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## 05/26 (Sep 15, 2007)

I've only had IBS for just over a year, but the way it has changed my life is major. I'm still in my teens and I wonder how it will affect my future ambitions, as even simple things like walking into town can become a daunting task that requires planning and brings on a lot of worry. After reading othe peoples stories I realise how 'lucky' I am, as in comparison mine does not seem so bad. But still, the days where going to the toilet was just 'one of those things that you do' are very much gone; and as for enjoying food, that is pretty much a thing of the past.I don't really have any miracle tips because everyone is different, but there is one thing I would recommend, and that is reading Lance Armstrong's biographies. His story is truly inspiring, but what really helped me to keep fighting to lead a normal life was his attitude to a major setback in his life: cancer. It may sound silly comparing a life threatening illness to a world class athlete to a Bowel disorder to an everyday person; but there are similarities to be drawn, and the ones that helped me was reading about how Armstrong refused to let cancer beat him, and how he drew positives from his experience.


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