# Anger



## Guest (Jun 10, 2002)

Here's a short story for us to ponder: Once upon a time a young couple climbed a high mountain. There they saw a wise old man. He motioned for them to sit. He told them they could ask him any questions. They asked him the meaning of life. he told them. They asked him the recipe for happiness. He wrote it down. they asked him about all the secrets of the universe. No problem..............Then they asked him a HARD question: "Oh, Great master, we are angry so often. We hurt each other when we get angry. What can we do?"Suddenly the master glared at them, broke his pencil in two, cursed loudly and stomped back into his cave. "Alas," he muttered over his shoulder, "If I could figure that out, I wouldn't be sitting here all alone on this mountain!"


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## Guest (Jun 11, 2002)

What do you do when you get angry?Nobody really kjnows what to do with their anger, at least not all of the time. Anger is a gift, a natural part of the human condition, but it isn't easy to handle. Anger can cause a lot of trouble in our lives.Did you know that there were 10 different types of anger?Anger avoidanceSneaky angerParanoid angerSudden angerShame-based angerDeliberate angerAddictive angerHabitual angerMoral angerHateThe good news is that each of these kinds of anger can be managed.Why should we try to manage our anger? Because if left unmanaged, it not only hurts those around us, but it turn inward and hurts us as well.It's good to vent... we all need to do that. We also all need to learn how to recognize when we are angry, find the source of our anger, and learn effective ways to let it go. It's only when we let it go.... that healing begins.


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## zayaka26 (Jul 5, 2001)

Art, my boyfriend is a sweet guy but from time to time his terrible temper shows. I am a hardheaded and temperamental person as well. So, whenever we feel we could explode on each others face we separate immediately. The next day we talk and handle it like adults. It is our solution and works wonderfully well.


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## Guest (Jun 11, 2002)

Zakaya..... Sounds like you are apt at managing your short-term anger from a social perspective.The kind of anger I am referring to here is the chronic long-term type where its effects reach into every area of our lives. Many of us are unaware of its far-reaching impacts. The point is that the psychology translates into biology... and if we notice, address and learn to manage it more productively, it has a very positive effect on our lives.I wasn't aware of its effects on me until working through it with my therapist. It was ruining my life. Now that I have a better understanding of the inner workings, I want to share so that others who may be victims of the same anger syndrome might seek help.Have a great day!


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## zayaka26 (Jul 5, 2001)

You mean like being always angry? Because I can relate to that too. I am a very negative person and I know that affects me. When I was able to get to this agreement with my boyfriend, it was wonderful because he is the only person that I can later talk about what is wrong (and to me sometimes the whole planet is wrong!). Negative thoughts are really hard to brake, specially after you have heard them all your life. I guess I am lucky to have other qualities that balance my ever pesimistic outlook.


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## Guest (Jun 12, 2002)

Yes, Zakaya... that's exactly what I mean. If you can get it, read the following book:"Letting Go Of Anger"by Ron & Pat Potter-EfronNew Harbinger PublicationsPat is my therapist. The techniques shown in the book are for anyone who wants to learn to express agner in healthy and productive ways.I, too, have had to deal this perpetual issue of viewing things negatively. I am happy to say that this has improved for me a great deal since I began therapy with Pat.The planet could use a tune-up, so people like you 'n me need to rally our anger and filter it in more positive and productive ways.I sometimes find myself having to consciously tell myself...."This is not necessarily a bad thing. What can I do to change how I feel about this?"Here is a little visualization aid that might help: Take a few deep breaths, relax and see yourself in a newly changed positive state."Right now I am relaxed and peaceful. This is exactly how I want to be. I feel safe and comfortable. I feel at peace with myself and the world. My breathing is deep and quiet. My nerves are calm. All my anger has slipped away and I enjoy this feeling of serenity. I am content."Zakaya....just the fact that you recognize that you automatically react negatively to much of life is the first step in changing it.Hey... If I can do it.... anyone can do it


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