# Should I hide it?



## PippylongStockings (Jun 6, 2002)

I am extremely interested in a guy and he is perfect and so sweet. But tonight he said something about a guy on prozac. Then he said a few comments that gave me the impression he thinks anyone on pills is "crazy", "out there", "kinda psycho". I said yea I need some prozac and laughed. He said really? In a serious way kind of like what? Like he was a bit concerned that I might be "off". I said yeah I'm joking. Tuesday I'm going to the psychiatrist. If I have a relationship with this guy should I hide the psychiatrist, medicines, and problems? I don't know how to tell him and make him understand not everyone who goes to a psychiatrist is crazy and needs padded rooms and straight jackets.


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## kamie (Sep 14, 2002)

oh ick, that's the unpleasant hard one.You know, it's a big guess.It's hard to tell with people especially if they have not gotten a chance to know you.But then again, if you hide the problem then you add to the problem and that rarely comes to any good.I'm thinking take a chance and be truthful.I would.But then I want to know early on if I see the character of a person clearly so what better way than to drop the big issue and see how he handles the knowlege.Better for him to think you crazy early on than to be angry for dishonesty later.Just my two cents.Kamie


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## nmwinter (May 31, 2001)

my two cents is to be honest with him. a lot of people have this reaction but when they truly learn more facts, they learn that it's a medical problem not unlike diabetes. If he's worth keeping as a friend or more, then he'll get it. If he doesn't, well is that the kind of person you want around? it may take some time and you don't have to go into full disclosure mode right away, but you don't want to set up lies with this guy.take carenancy


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## Trixyinaz (Oct 28, 2002)

I agree with Kamie and nmwinter, you should be truthful with him. If he's worth anything, he'll stick it out with you. If he's not, then you haven't wasted too much time on someone that really isn't for you. However, you may be very surprised at how supporting he is when you do tell him of your conidition. It is nothing to be ashamed of. You didn't do it to yourself and he shouldn't judge you before getting to truly know you. Besides, I bet he knows many people on Prozac and doesn't even know it.


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## zayaka26 (Jul 5, 2001)

Hiding that from him would take so much effort that in the end it would not be good for you. I say go the honest way; maybe he''ll get interested and learn a few a things.


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## cindy80004 (May 1, 2001)

You have nothing to be ashamed of. Tell him and if he can't deal with it.....who needs him! You're certainly not the only person on earth that has to take meds for anxiety. Probably half his friends do and he doesn't even know it. Good luck. Cindy


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## PippylongStockings (Jun 6, 2002)

I guess what bothers me is so many people still think getting help means you're a complete psycho nut. I won't lie when he asks me next week what kind of appointment it is. THanks for the help.


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## trbell (Nov 1, 2000)

you don't say where you're from but it sounds like he's a real red neck. if i were you I'd give him a little education on the reality of modern life and if doesn't change dump him.tom


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## kamie (Sep 14, 2002)

Lina, you are absolutely right, there is a social stigma attached to medication. That's why you pick your relationships carefully and choose to only have good hearted loving people in your life.You set a standard.Oh now Tom, don't be mean bout them ********!I know plenty of red necks.I lived in Florida for 18 years and hung out at BARNS and bought hay and toted in the trailer.You betcha I know ********.And fancy people too.You know, some of the best most helpful people I have ever met haul hay and raise livestock.And heck, they are lots of times good for those farm fresh eggs and they will teach you all kinds of great stuff about life and the earth and the animals and such.Basically, people are people. And some of them are jerks and some of them are wonderful.So really, it does not matter if one wears jeans or a suit or wrangles bulls or goes to defend at the Supreme Court.You basically want the ones who have honesty and goodness in their hearts.But in making generalizations about predjudice regarding the takeing of mind medicines....I have discovered an interesting little trend in my own unofficial research project on the nature of humankind.I have found more prejudiced in the "supposed" ones of learing and practice of going pure and natural in the world of care for the body.There is a horriffic amount of "eat up with it"scholars of medical and holistic approaches.there is this trendy wave these days to be pure and natural pretty much to the level of elitest snobbery.Red Necks? You'd be surprised. Many of them are very insightful about the difficulties of life. They might be the first to put their arm around you and say, there now honey, don't you worry. That's nuthin a little nerve pill won't fix.Kamie


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## Guest (Nov 16, 2002)

Speaking from personal experience, rather than being concerned about what the guy thinks, concern yourself more with what you think. Any guy who is worth getting into a relationship with will understand. If not, you may be better off without him in your life.Best wishes, Evie


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## PippylongStockings (Jun 6, 2002)

No, he isn't a *******. And maybe his comment was just him following the norm. Then again I found out last night his mother is insane. So I guess all he knows about these type of things makes him think of his mother. And I can see where that would worry him. He's comming into my life at a very bad time. I have a lot of problems and to tack it on my grandfather's and brother's. I'm going to become a basket case soon. And I won't be able to hide it. So I guess he gets the test early on. He wanted me to tell him what was wrong last night, but I didn't want to dump on him. But he did take my mind off of things for a while. I would love to know the percentage of people who go to psychiatrist. I know a lot of people are hiding it. It's a normal thing and some people don't realize that. I guess they are living in the past.


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## kamie (Sep 14, 2002)

Lina, I never went to a psychiatrist or a counselor, except once in my first marriage and it was a total zipoid session where I left wondering what the heck went on.However, I was a very lucky person who just happened to fall into a lot of people who hadPsycological training and training in many other modalities that are meant to work through personal issues and come to a place of uncerstanding and personal development.There were a number of years that I participated in self transformational workshops and various practices like Yoga that work on getting the body/mind and spirit clear and flowing.I did a few years of very intensive work with the healing aspects of American Indian Sweat Lodges.I had a child who was hyperactive and we did a lot of work with a friend who was a Psychotherapist to get my child to a place where he eventually out grew the need for medication.I was married to an alchoholic once and I wen to Alanon to help me figure out the dynamics of alcohlism aand figure out my personeal strenght to learn how to be self preservational.So that's a very small part of a picture of a long series of events and life quests that was basically my life for over 20 years.I eventually moved on to teaching and opening up my own practice in the area of Holistic Body Therapy which blended many modalities to facillitate centeredness and healing of the whole person.I closed my place of work and moved west when I came to the plce that it was time to address my own physical healing.And that's where I am right now.the best thing I can tell you about your situation is to be gentle in the delivery but bring the reality of your medical needs to the fore front very soon.It would appear that tension is already building and there's no need for the other, your new friend, to "feel" the tension of your reserve and fear and not know what it is all about.I think the roughest thing sometimes is sensing and not knowing. Your friend is probably quite sensitive so try to keep that in mind when you have the inner fear thing going on and tend to shut down.The fact that your friends mother has an illness is probably a lonely place for him too.When our parents are not the strength we might want them to be, it becomes a lonely road trying to figure out the sorrow of the heart when ones parent is ill.Sobeing, you might find a friend who needs to talk just as much as you need to share.So what the heck.Go for it.Take that deep breath and ask for clarity and take the truth and try to lay it out as gently as possible and allow him time to think and assess.No one can tell you how exactly your friend will react.That part is the risk. But you know, that's just the reality of life, so if the future can not always be micromanaged, then a worthwhile cause (such as a new friendship)just might be worth stepping a little out side of your self to try the friend ship out for a fit.So have no expectations and allow for honesty to be the fundation of the friendship and if there are any chances to be had at all, the whole dynamic of sharing personal truths would give the the best foundation possible.It just seems to me that the depth of the heart is the best common bond.So work with your medicines and see your doctors and use this time for a healing on many many levels.If your friendship is meant to grow, it will grow.And besides, if your are seeing a therapist, the therapist can help you figure out any of those emotional spots that arrive from time to time in the course of any friendship.because afterall, it is through our interactions with others that we grow as human beings.Take care and be well and open your arms to life.Hugs and hope,Kamie


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## kamie (Sep 14, 2002)

You know Lina, I have issues with Therapy. Not because it's Therapy, but because of what society does with the valuable tool.For people like you, where it is your medicine,there is unfortunate social stigma.For people like me who struggle with some pretty heavy illnesses that are hard to diagnose, they tend to want to ship me off to the Therapist and be done with me when inside I'm freaking out because I KNOW I'm really sick and I can't get anyone to see the problem because I look realy good and I've been in really good shape.So I get upset because I want to hurry up and get tended befroe my brain literally explodes.I have a heart that revs up and runs at a little heart attack pace that revs just fast enough to make my ears literally burn, my vision on the left side of my head go foggy and the last time it made a spasm so hard it dislocated my jaw!!!Yeh, so it freaks me out and I get real real upset when I know I'm sick and someone says, oh, have you thought of counseling? Maybe you need a little therapy. when what I need is a competant doctor to help me get well.After that last little event with the jaw, I finally got a Cardiologist.I am now on heart meds so things are trying to get better.Last year at this time I was bing told I needed therapy yet once again.Pelvic Pain was the problem.So we went round and round and lo and behold, when they finally agree to surgery they find my insides all stuck together with endometriosis and adhesions.I needed a hysterectomy and I got one.It's now been 7 months and there are still more problems.I'm seeing a reproductve endocrinologist on Monday.So Lina, you see, we all need our exact right medicine.It doesn't matter what that medicine might be. It only matters that we get to the place of our best help in a good and timely manner to help us facillitate healing in our bodies.So Lina, good luck.Let me know how tings go for you.Just breathe a full lung full and you will be able to do this.Hugs and Hope,Kamie


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## Guest (Nov 17, 2002)

Hi Pippy,Yours was an exceptionally accurate and insightful post:"I would love to know the percentage of people who go to psychiatrist. I know a lot of people are hiding it. It's a normal thing and some people don't realize that. I guess they are living in the past."You hit the nail on the head.I agree with Kamie that our spirituality needs to be addressed.Behavioral Health Therapy is good for many people. Some think it's good for all ? One trip to a psychologist isn't going to help very much. It's something that works best when we work hard at it. I was personally very adept at being manipulative with my therapists for many years. When I finally hit rock bottom.... I started to think about being honest with my therapist, honest about my feelings and most importantly, honest with myself. It hurts far more when we reach that point... but just for a little while (or so I am told).My best advice about your new friends would be to be open and honest with him. As Kamie mentioned, that way he won't worry about something when he isn't aware of the circumstances.Hope it works for ya, Evie


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## Tinkerhell (Dec 25, 2002)

You should definetly tell him. If he understands, is caring, and stays with you then you will know if he really is the one for you. If he isn't supportive then he isn't for you. Everyone needs someone whos understanding and caring. Trust me you dont want to be with someone whos not.


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