# Very Afraid



## ally a (Sep 3, 2001)

Hi there, I have been a chronic IBSD sufferer for several years now and have devoloped a terrible phobia of having D. and have also developed a dreadful eating disorder. I am male, 5 feet 10 inches and weigh just under 6 stone.I have been told by Doctors I could suddenly die at any point. I desperately don't want Nasogastric feeding but am afraid that whatever I eat will cause me D.I seem to be eating less and less every day.Please can some one help me? I don't want to die but am so afraid of the pain and D. now.thanks,Ally


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## lin_li_ (Feb 25, 2003)

Hi ally, whats happening? Try to work out well together with your doctor, and keep on trying. I am not sure of your condition, so I cant comment much. I do noe of friends who develop eating disorders due to IBSD, but with advice and planning, they soon revert back to almost acceptable eating diet. Hope things get going for you and god bless


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## janielo (Jun 16, 2003)

Ally, I know what you're going thru. Of course I could stand to lose a little weight, well a lot of weight! I'm having that problem right now of not wanting to eat because I'm afraid it will give me diarrhea. (I have become great friends with Desitin ointment for my tender bottom) Mostly it's because I don't feel well, but I have constipation as well so I HAVE to eat stuff like bagels, white potatoes, stuff with soluble fiber. I have GERD too so I have to eat or I get nauseated! It's a major balancing act!Check out the website www.eatingforibs.com. Heather and others can give you a good idea of what you can eat that shouldn't bother you. But of course it depends. There are somedays I can drink water and it gives me diarrhea. Are you on any meds!Hang in there my friend!Janie


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## degrassi (Jun 10, 2003)

I know what your going through. 2 years ago i never ate anythign all day untill my mom would come home for supper and made me eat. I'm a 6'5" girl that only weighed 130lbs at my lowest point.I saw lots of doctors and they all said that you have to start eating on a regular basis. If youstarve yourself and then finally put somehting in your stomach it will react worse. I then tried getting bak to eating in teh morning and afternoon. It really did help, my D lessen and i began to gain a bit of weight back. I still have trouble eating in teh morning as that is when my D is worse.But i jstumake sure i have something in my room that i can eat like a granola bar.Trust me i was where you were.Scared to eat, but it really does help if you do start eating.Choose bland foods, like toast to start off with.


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## dkik (Sep 3, 2003)

Ally - Please eat! We don't want to lose you! When my IBS gets real bad and i have no appetite, I just nibble on "comfort foods"...a few slices of an apple, or toast and tea (my comfort food growing up). I am also a diabetic - and when the IBS hits bad, my sugars go crazy, too. But eating SMALL meals 6 or 7 times a day seems to help. There are days i don't leave the house worried about my D. But you need the nourishment to keep your strength. Start small and stay with small amounts. The small amounts may also control the amount of D -as it does sometimes with me. I also think the stress of your situation may contribute to the problem. Try some stress relievers - drugs, breathing, relaxation - music works for me. PLease let us know how you are doing!Deb


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## jwynne (Sep 29, 2003)

When I'm feeling like I just can't eat, I usually use a liquid supplement like Ensure or Boost. I don't know what kind or brand of liquid supplement might exist in Scotland, but in the US they're really kind of marketed to older folks. You need to look for one that doesn't contain milk, as that can make the diarrhea worse. Really, drinking these things sure does beat having an NG tube put in for feeding! My heart really goes out to you, as I know that fear of diarrhea very well. I've had more accidents than I can count. But, you simply must have some kind of nutrition, hon. I'm an RN, and I know a bit about this! Please, please, at least try to drink some supplement like this, or some other form of nutrition - you're in a really dangerous place right now!!


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## ally a (Sep 3, 2001)

Sorry to report things are getting worse.Losing at least a pound a day and no matter I'm taking loperamide, still getting D.I'm now Down far lower in weight than I ever imagined possible 5 stone 9lb.I'm terrified I'm gonna die.


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## Lexi_Con (Aug 18, 2003)

Please Ally, get yourself to a hospital now!My Mum was born in Dundee and I think she told me that a stone is a measure of weight that equals 16 pounds. So if my math is right, you now weigh just under 90 pounds, which is frightening for someone who is 5'10".At this point your body has gone into a starvation crisis and you may not be able to easily digest anything.Please get help now before it is too late!!!You are at great risk if you do not get to a hospital immediately. Please go and get help, whatever it takes.Hoping for the best for you . . . Lexi.


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## em.london (Dec 11, 2001)

I agree with Lexi, You NEED to get to the hospital or a Doctor straight away. You need help to stablize your symptons and then you can start eating again. Please go and see someone.I will pray for youEm


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## flannelgirl (Oct 22, 2002)

I must agree with the last two posts. I too have often used not eating as a way to cope with having IBS D and thinking that it will control the diarrhea, but the reality is that we need to have something. I sense that in your condition, you could use a little nurturing as well, so i would highly suggest going to a hospital and making darn sure that they treat you psychologically for all that you are going thru. This is not just a physical condition. We are all here for you and can relate to the embarassment of having this. There's GOT to be help somewhere. I'll pray that you find releif and soon.


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## Lexi_Con (Aug 18, 2003)

Ally,I am very concerned about you.Please post something and let us know if you are okay.Worried . . . Lexi.


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## Tlyon (Feb 20, 2001)

ally,You are in need of medical attention. I cannot believe that you have been to a doctor and they did not see the seriousness of the situation. I agree with the others that you need to go to the hospital NOW, and hopefully the reason you have not replied is that you are there already. Please let us know how you are. There are people here that care, and to talk to.


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## JoanneThomas (Jan 17, 2002)

Just get yourself to A&E now.If your GP is not treating this as serious as they should then A&E will.Please let us know what you do.Thinking of you.


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## ally a (Sep 3, 2001)

Hi everyone,It's Gail (Ally's wife) here. Ally is fine. He was taken into hospital on Monday and has started naso-gastric feeding. So far he's coping well with it and I am very proud of him. He will probably be in for a few more days just to make sure his body is responding fine to the feeds and then he will be allowed home where he will be able to continue having the feeds overnight and will try to start eating as normally as possible through the day.Thank you all for the amount of support you have given him. I sometimes find it difficult to understand exactly what he is going through as I do not suffer from IBS myself, so it is great he has all of you. Hopefully this is the start of him making a full recovery and for him to take control of his IBS in a positive way.I will let him know that you are all asking for him and I'm sure he'll be back on posting as soon as he's home - I never usually get near the pc <g>.It has been a stressful time but hopefully now the future is looking brighter.Thank you again,Gail x


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## Lexi_Con (Aug 18, 2003)

Hello Gail,I am so glad that you posted the news to us, and that it is good!Many of us were worried about him; you can see the posts from us. We do care and we will be here for Ally and you too, Gail.Please let Ally know that we care and to keep us posted on his continuing recovery!All the best to you both, and good wishes for a lasting recovery.You are both in my thoughts.Take care . . . from Lexi.


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## JoanneThomas (Jan 17, 2002)

Thank you Gail for letting us know how he is.(((HUGS))) to both of you!


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## Nikki (Jul 11, 2000)

Thanks for your email Gail! You got there before me to post it on the BB though!







Give Ally our love and wish him a speedy recovery.


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## em.london (Dec 11, 2001)

Thank you Gail for letting us know. Please give Ally my Best Wishes for a speedy recovery.{{{Hugs}}} to you bothEm


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## Tlyon (Feb 20, 2001)

Gail,Thank you for letting us know how ally is doing. I am glad that he did go to the hospital, and they are taking care of him. Tell him that we all said hello, and to give us a shout when he gets home.


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## J Schuck (Apr 2, 2003)

I think everyone here is very kind and terribly understanding. But is it just me and my old cynical self here that thinks something is rotten here. I don't believe that a doctor would allow Ally to become so thin and not be checked into hospital for receipt of intravenous fluids. Also, his wife Gail suddenly posting online and saying he is in hospital and much better seems just too pat to me. If Ally is truly ill I only wish him the best. However, I can't believe that his wife Gail would know enough to go online and post such a detailed and lengthy response. I guess living in NYC makes somewhat cynical of unusually dramatic behavior. I hope no one is taking advantage of your warm and truly caring manner....Hang in there everyone.


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## finefingers (Oct 1, 2003)

I think nyc is getting to you. Since when have a few kind words and thoughts been a bad thing. I believe it is better to give than recieve and even if your giving is being taken advantage of (which I don't think they are) they are just words and thoughts. I also think gail did a very nice and thoughtfull thing letting us know ally was ok. Sometimes it's better to keep your opinions to yourself.


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## ally a (Sep 3, 2001)

Gail here again. Thank you all for your kind wishes to Ally - Win excluded. I don't know who you are Win but I am disgusted by your post and I know Ally will be upset when he comes home and reads it. You seem to think that this is all a farce - well let me tell you - we have gone through years of hell with Ally's health deteriorating day by day month by month. He has seen specialists both for physical and mental health and yes we are pissed off that nothing has been done before now, but Ally was terrified of going into hospital and really wanted to try and get better without this kind of intervention. You cannot force someone to undergo treatment if it is not something they want to do, but Ally has realised that his way wasn't working and that intervention was necessary. I cannot believe you have the audacity to say such things when you have no idea the pain and anguish Ally and his family have gone through as he has battled with this illness. This board does not need people like you.To everyone else, sorry about my rant back at Win, everything Ally has posted is true and like I said before he has found you all to be of great support. I will pass on your regards again tomorrow. Gail x


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## ally a (Sep 3, 2001)

P.S. I at no point said Ally was much better - he is still under 6 stone - so far from it. Things are just more positive now that he is receiving proper help.


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## Lexi_Con (Aug 18, 2003)

Hello.To Win: I understand that you feel skepticism.Maybe it would have been better if I had come right out and told you all that I worked as a counsellor and have handled crisis lines, and I have had experience with people who are experiencing starvation.After a while, you get a feel for what is authentic.I was concerned because I felt that this was genuine, and my heart went out to someone who was suffering.Gail: don't let this take away from the support you have gotten from us, and please let us know how ally is doing.I know enough about eating disorders to realize that it will be a difficult recovery and ally has shown courage in taking the steps he has.Your love and support for him will help, I'm sure.Best wishes to ally and you too, Gail.







Take care . . . from Lexi.


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## em.london (Dec 11, 2001)

GailMy love to you both and Best Wishes to Ally when you see him.Em


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## ally a (Sep 3, 2001)

Thanks Lexi and Em, I'm just getting organised to go up to the hospital and I will pass on your kind words. I will give you an update later.Gail x


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## dkik (Sep 3, 2003)

To Gail and Ally - I wish you both the best of luck. Failing health is no joke but I also know how support of friends can keep your spirits up, and that all helps in recovering/ or in most of our cases, coping. I hope Ally is up and around soon.Hugs to both.


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## ally a (Sep 3, 2001)

Hi There,I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for the concern and help you have offered to myself and Gail over the past while.I got out of Hospital today after being fitted with the NG tube and although it is extremely unpleasant in a number of ways, I know it is for the best in the long run. I managed to regain a small amount of weight and it is a hell of a high mountain to climb but I guess nothing worthwhile is easy and that is important for me to remember that.Your kindness and support has been and will be treasured.(with the exception of the idiot who thinks that this is a scam).With Thanks and love from the bottom of my heart.Ally


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## em.london (Dec 11, 2001)

Hi AllyI am so pleased that you are out of hospital and on the way to a recovery. It will be a long road with alot of bumps but there is alot of kind people here for you. Please keep us posted on your progress.You and your wife Gail are in my thoughts and prayers.Emx


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## ally a (Sep 3, 2001)

Thanks EM.I really treasure your kind support for Gail and I, she has had to deal with a lot.Ally


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## Lexi_Con (Aug 18, 2003)

ally,So good to hear from you.I'm glad that you are back from the hospital and that you have posted information for us.I know that you have taken the first difficult steps on what will be a long journey, and that it was a hard thing to do.You are not alone in this. You have the love and support of Gail, and all of us here to talk to.All the best to you both !!!Take care . . . from Lexi


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## Lexi_Con (Aug 18, 2003)

To Ally and Gail,You will both be in my thoughts.Cyberhugs to you both:







{{{Ally and Gail}}}







From Lexi


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## em.london (Dec 11, 2001)

Hi Ally & GailJust wondering how you are doing ?Best Wishes to you bothEm


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## Rachel (Dec 31, 1998)

...


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## JoanneThomas (Jan 17, 2002)

Sorry Ally I missed that you were out of hospital!We're all thinking of you!


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## Tlyon (Feb 20, 2001)

ally,Glad to hear that you are back home and on the road to recovery. Hang in there, things will get better. Keep us posted.


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## Lexi_Con (Aug 18, 2003)

Hi ally and Gail,I just "popped in" to see if there were any postings from you.I hope that ally continues with some signs of improvement.My heart goes out to you both







 from Lexi.


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## ally a (Sep 3, 2001)

Hi All of you and again a huge thanks for you kind and thoughtful support for Gail and I through this difficult time.Things are strange at the moment and although persisting with the NG tube I'm not really gaining from it, however I'm at the doctors and dietitian tomorrow are Gail and I have assembled a plan that will hopefully allow me to improve at a better degree than I seem to be at the moment.Gail is fantastic, just thought I would make that public. You can probably already tell how great her support for me is (also see sep. post)I will post tomorrow once I have been to the hospital.Love and thanks to all of you,BlessAlly x-------------------------------------------------


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## Lexi_Con (Aug 18, 2003)

To ally,Thanks for posting.I hope that you can get back to being able to gain a little, and that the new plan works well.I think of you often, and look in now and then to see if you have posted.All my best to both of you  Blessings . . . from Lexi


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## em.london (Dec 11, 2001)

Hi AllyThanx for letting us know how you are doing. I hope it goes well toda, let us know eh.Take CareEmx


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## ohnometo (Sep 20, 2001)

Hang in there and remember things will get better and you will start taking little steps at first and they will get bigger and bigger...


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## ally a (Sep 3, 2001)

Hi there,thought I would update you with today's outcome after my appointments at the hospital.They took out the NG tube after a fashion and we have built a plan incorporating very simple and plain foods along with a couple of suplements (ensure +, liquigen).So we will see how that goes, I am back next week but we have emergency contacts should anything go wrong in the interval between.I feel a good bit more confident now, that I can eat these small amounts (to begin with.)I'll keep you all posted.Love Ally


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## Lexi_Con (Aug 18, 2003)

Ally,Thanks for the update.I am glad that you are well-equipped with emergency contacts because I know that setbacks can happen.I hope that you continue to show some signs of improvement, although I know it will be a long haul.All my best to you and Gail  Lexi


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## stinky too (May 21, 1999)

Ally,Hang in there, you are being kept in prayers and thoughts. The best to you and your wife.  Joyce in OH


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## em.london (Dec 11, 2001)

Hi AllyThank you for your update, I hope it does improve alittle for you. Please keep us posted.Best Wishes to You and Gail.Emx


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## ally a (Sep 3, 2001)

Hi All,I'm at the hospital tomorrow so I'll keep you posted.loveAlly


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## em.london (Dec 11, 2001)

Good Luck. I hope they have some positive results for you,Best Wishes to You and GailEm


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## Lexi_Con (Aug 18, 2003)

Hi ally,Thanks for posting. I "look in" often to see if there is news from you.You and Gail are in my thoughts often, and I wish you all the best!








Take care . . . from Lexi


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## Tlyon (Feb 20, 2001)

Hey ally! Just checking in to see haow you are doing. Seems like things are looking up a bit. Hang tough, you have a lot of folks cheering for you!


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## ally a (Sep 3, 2001)

Hi All,They want to see me back next week,I seem to have stopped losing weight, thank God but now the real struggle of putting it back on rears it's head.It will be hard work but many hurdles already have been overcome so heres hoping it won't be as bad as it seem it'll be.I just have to keep pushing a little more each day.Thanks again for all the love and support you have shown,god bless Ally x


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## Lexi_Con (Aug 18, 2003)

To Ally,Great news that you've stopped losing weight!







Now to turn the corner and start putting some back on.Best wishes to you and Gail  Take care . . . from Lexi


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## em.london (Dec 11, 2001)

I am so pleased to hear that you have made a little progress and stop loosing weight.







Now is the next step of putting it back on. Good Luck, I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.Best Wishes to you and GailEm


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## Guest (Feb 28, 2004)

Ok, I know that my post will be on the minority side, but I totally have to agree with Win on this one. It seems like a cry for attention. This does not seem authentic at all. It's just way too odd with "ally's" postings.


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## Yarnie (Jul 15, 2002)

Regardless of whether people think Ally's postings are genuine or not (and I must say, I totally believe that IBS can cause problems as severe as this) unfortunately it is true that IBSD can lead people to this kind of problem. A few years ago I almost gave up eating because I feared the food would upset my stomach. I began to associate food with diarrhoea and half way through a good meal I would remember that, and stop eating it. I have developed toilet phobia or toilet dependence or whatever you want to call it, and rarely eat out or anything, although I have improved at that recently. I'd just like to say good luck with it Ally. I was unfortunate in that my experience of stopping eating didn't develop so far, but I certainly understand where you are coming from. I hope you manage to put on some more weight and get back into eating again. Good luck.


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## Lexi_Con (Aug 18, 2003)

About this Thread:I see that thread has been resurrected, as it were.I understand that some people may suspect its authenticity, and have concerns about people being "taken in".Let me assure everyone, em and I have kept in touch with Ally since the first postings here in this forum.He is suffering from issues related to his very severe IBS D, and is, in fact, underweight to the point of weighing only about half of what he should.This is a life-threatening condition.Ally has struggled courageously to try to gain some weight, and has been able to do so, but it has been a hard battle to fight.Em and I have a thread for Ally at the "meeting Place", and we have been trying to encourage him in this fight for his life.We have been in touch with him, and his family, by telephone as well as personal E-mails.We have no doubt whatsoever that this is a genuine situation.Ally needs our encouragement at this time.I would appreciate that any who may be skeptical contact either em or me to discuss this.In the meantime, anyone who truly understands how severely IBS D can affect a person is invited to add to the messages of encouragement at the Meeting Place.Thank you for your attention.Take care . . . from Lexi.


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## em.london (Dec 11, 2001)

I agree with everything that Lexi has said. Before any one starts to become critical or suspecting the motives of this could they first please discuss it with the people who started this thread ie Myself or Lexi as we have personal contact with Ally outside this BB and know of the struggle and pain that he has to face. Your derogatory comments do not help to encourage and support him in the way that this thread was intended to do.Thank You for your attentionEm


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## peardrops (Jan 3, 2004)

Hi Ally & Gail. Just wanted to add my best wishes to you both, I do hope things are improving for you. I think the two sceptics should keep their thoughts to themselves - unless you are 100% certain something is not genuine, you could really add to someones pain by your derogatory comments. I think Ally's story shows just how IBS-D can affect someones life.Good luck Ally


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## em.london (Dec 11, 2001)

Thank You Peardrops for your sweet (Sorry bad joke Sweets !







) lovely comments. There is a thread on the Meeting Place called "Ally, You can do it" that we are keeping going with updates on Allys progress if you would like to have alook.Thank You againHugsEm


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## Lexi_Con (Aug 18, 2003)

I agree with em.When I first got very ill with my IBS, I was told it was "gastroenteritis", and then that it was "nerves".For 2 years, I suffered with continuous diarrhea, day and night, and vomiting as well.I lost more and more weight and got very sick and exhausted.During this time I was told it was "just nerves".I resented being told that it was all in my head, and I wanted answers.I had to get aggressive to have a lot of tests done, and then the physical evidence of my IBS and GERD was apparent to all the doctors.It's bad enough being doubted when you are sick with IBS and losing weight rapidly.It's much worse to be doubted when you are so very ill that you are only at half your proper weight!'That just adds to the suffering!This is a *Support Group for IBS!* Bad enough that some of the doctors don't understand this condition.Surely here, we can understand, and we can try to help one another!Take care . . . from Lexi


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## peardrops (Jan 3, 2004)

Thanks Em. I'll certainly have a look at the Meeting Place for updates on Ally.---------------When some great sorrow, like a mighty riverFlows through your life with peace-destroying powerAnd dearest things are swept from sight forever,Say to yourself each trying hourThis too will pass away


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## daidreemer (Mar 1, 2004)

I am new to this bb. I love it because it lets you know you are not alone. Alot of people, even family and close friends don't always understand. It always makes you feel good to help others, even if it is just a few kind words. I don't understand some people, if you can't say something nice then don't say anything at all. There was nothing in those postings to make me think that it wasn't sincere. My heart goes out to ally and gail. I have IBS-D, though not to that extent. I have quit going out except to the grocery store occasionally, and only when my daughters can't go for me. I have had more "accidents" than I care to recall, it's just not worth the chance to me. This is something that I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy. OK I guess I have said my peace. Ally and Gail, I wish only the best for you. You will be in my prayers..


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## em.london (Dec 11, 2001)

Thank You Daidreemer for your kind words and best wishes to Ally. There is a thread on the meeting place called "Ally, you can do it" if you would like to keep updated on his progress.I hope this finds you well.HugsEmx


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