# My life is over. 4 months of hell. Please read :(



## trapped inside (Dec 14, 2012)

*DISCLAIMER: This is a long story, maybe too long, and for that I am sorry. Perhaps it should be in a different section. I've never belonged to a forum before, but I have reached a state of desperation beyond anything I have experienced. So here goes nothing: *

For the past 4 months, beginning in early September, I have had I.B.S., even though the several doctors I have seen have yet to diagnose me with it. After all, it is one of the worst things to have because, according to the medical world, there is nothing physically wrong with us; and according to my psychiatrist, it is "all in my head" and due to "stress". Who wouldn't be stressed when you're in a state of constant, unforgiving pain -- a pain that goes away, but comes back like a boomerang. 

Anyways, back to the story: 

Beginning in September, I had what I considered a day or two of constipation. This was accompanied by slight but manageable abdominal pain, which I attributed to my lack of bowel movements over the past few days. Anyways, I picked up some laxative suppositories (it feels somewhat embarrassing to be typing this sort of ######, if you will, but we can all relate), and they helped.

Anyways, one night, I felt extremely nauseous and sick, waking up throughout my sleep with fiery pain in my stomach, a burning, and I felt extremely nauseous. I couldn't lay on my stomach or fall asleep. It was miserable. Little did I know what was yet to come... The next morning I woke up constipated, used a laxative, and had no resulting BM. I, again, thought it was just a weird phase I was going through, or possibly a side effect of the Wellbutrin medication I was taking. 

Five days later, the abdominal pain had reached a peak, I couldn't sit down, I couldn't stand up. I couldn't move. It felt like the devil was trapped inside my stomach, trying to get out. (I am not a satanist or anything, that's just how it felt). I couldn't eat, and I couldn't sleep. I wanted to sleep so much so I could escape the pain. At this point, it had been six days since I had last had a BM.

Eight days later, I am feel like I am dying, or more so, I felt like I would rather die than continue to feel this way. The worst parts are: nothing helped to relieve my symptoms (I tried laxatives, enemas, herbal remedies, drinking gallons of water, exercise, etc.) AND no one believed or understood what I was going through. At this point in time, I had yet to read or learn about what would soon become my worst enemy: Irritable Bowel Syndrome -- I thought it was simply occasional diarrhea. 

Finally, I end up in the Emergency Room, begging for help. I am 23 year old male and it was one of the most embarrassing experiences of my life, to wind up in an ER because you're so constipated that it is beyond-belief painful. Anyways, as is usual with doctors under these circumstances, they dismissed my symptoms after a brief X-ray, which showed, according to them, that I just had a giant 'fart waiting to come out' and a lot '######' (their words, not mine). They laughed, and told me to take some Gas-X. I was humiliated and in so much pain. (Sorry to sound like such a whiny complainer, but this hurt like hell). 

After 12 days of constipation (sans the occasional explosive and purely-watery diarrhea ,I finally had what I thought would solve all of my problems: a bowel movement. Boy, was I wrong. The BM I had was disappointingly small. How could that be all, after 11 days, I thought. (Again, sorry if this is graphic, and it is intended for mature IBS sufferers only







. Still, I was absolutely ecstatic that at least something had happened after hours spent on the toilet praying to God for the pain to stop. (And I am not a religious man.) 

Immediately afterwards, I did everything I could to stimulate more of a BM: I did inverted yoga poses, ate six Activas, went for a run, drank a gallon of water, ate prunes, drank coffee, smoked a disgusting cigarette (hey, it's supposed to stimulate your bowels), ate two Fiber One brownies, etc. I could increase the list ad infinitum. Nothing happened, so I eagerly waited for the next morning, hoping to finally flush my system out. I was still experiencing throbbing, sharp, needle-like pain through my abdomen. When I took a deep breath, it hurt; I couldn't even laugh (a 'belly laugh') because it hurt. I was so alone at this time, too, I must mention. I felt trapped inside my head. 

The next morning, I wake up. I drink coffee, do my yoga poses and all of that other stuff. Long story short: barely anything happens. A small, odd-looking and, once again, disappointing BM. Whatever, I think, at least - still! - something is happening. This continues, and has up until present day. The pain comes and goes, but is almost constantly there. I have one BM in the morning that, if I am lucky, is big enough to relieve some of the symptoms. Every BM I has is an incomplete evacuation - it always feels like I still have to go, like there is an intestinal traffic jam inside my abdomen waiting to clear up. Once every three weeks or so, I will have mild diarrhea that lasts for a day, and then devolves back into constipation. My lower back hurts, throbbing each morning from, what I assume, is from my intestinal burning. 

I have seen 3 doctors, the most recent of whom recommended I take some psylium (sp?) fiber AKA Metamucil, some Citrucel, some Align, and, lastly, drink a lot of water. I followed his recommendations and had no positive results. Still a meager BM in the morning, with pain throughout the day. By the way, has anyone else found that the pain is hard to describe to other people without it sounding like it's not a big deal when, for us, it is a huge deal because we have to experience it for the majority of our waking hours? Anyways, I mention to the doctor that I am concerned I may have IBS and he dismisses this notion, saying "it's a strong possibility, for your symptoms match the diagnostic criteria to a T, but IBS is only a minor nuisance. Besides, we have new drugs to treat it." OK, I thought at the time, maybe there is some hope. 

Next up: a colonoscopy; I can't wait! What 23-year-old dude wants to get one - isn't it for, like, really old guys? Whatever.

These days, my life sucks. I try to manage and get through each day the best I can, but nothing seems to help. Exercise (like running) hurts, and only makes symptoms worse. Gentle yoga helps a bit, although some of the poses are extremely hard on my abdomen. Walking is alright. Eating better helps. Drinking water helps. My family is very supportive but doesn't understand how I feel. They are "just glad I have nothing seriously wrong with me". 

Nonetheless, I depressingly go through each day, gloomy about the future, about my life. I think of all the things I won't be able to do because of my 'syndrome'. I think of all the fun hiking trips I won't go on; the girls I will miss; the social gatherings I will avoid; the delicious food I can't eat; and - most of all - a sense of control over my life.

I need help. Doctors don't help. Psychiatrists don't help. Medicine doesn't help (although I am currently looking at the new Lizness drug, which I am very excited about; Walgreens doesn't have it in stock though). My family thinks I am complaining and whiny - they don't say that, but I know it's how they feel. If I was someone else looking at and listening to me, I would think I was being a wuss too. I mean, it's probably just a stomach ache, right.

I need advice, support, sympathy, help - anything! Please. Am I being a pessimistic wimp? Do I need to try something else? Can anyone relate to the way I feel? Does it get any better? I'm dying inside. Bring me back to life.


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## erinelizabeth (Jul 6, 2012)

Wow, you went through almost exactly what I went through before my diagnosis! They did an ultrasound on me first (thinking it was female issues), then a cat scan at the er (with terrible pain), with the same reaction.
What did colonoscopy show? 
I'm shocked to be honest that you haven't gotten a clear diagnosis after that at least. It sounds like ibs to me! I get horrid flare ups with constipation. If I don't force myself to go everyday, then I'm terrified ill never go, cause after a week of not going... Just awful! Nothing clearly will work for me either. I take a prescription fiber pill, exercise, all i drink is water, and I still have problems. My stool comes out in the same fashion during a flare up. Have you tried a stool softener? 
Have you been able to go normally at all? 
My first thought was obstruction. Did the doctors look into that?
Hang in there. I know just how you feel as I'm sure many others on this site do as well. It's also the only forum I have ever belonged to and its amazingly helpful to have others relate and offer advice.


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## erinelizabeth (Jul 6, 2012)

I'm sorry, just realized you haven't had the colonoscopy yet... Good luck! 
Although unpleasant, It actually feels great during the prep to finally get it all out lol


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## trapped inside (Dec 14, 2012)

Hey, it's so nice to know that you went through the same thing. It sucks, of course, that we went through it, but it's nice to know I'm not alone or crazy, like the doctors said.

I haven't had the colonoscopy yet but I'm going to schedule one soon. Not looking forward to it (who does?); hopefully it gives me some answers. 

I tried stool softener a few times with mixed results. To be honest, for the last week I have given up on laxatives/stool softeners/enemas because they don't seem to work :/ ExLax (Senna?) was really hard on my system.

No obstruction, according to the X-rays. I've been able to go normally a few times since it started -- never quite like it was before these symptoms kicked in. 

The stomach/abdominal pain and crazy bloating is the hardest for me, though. Not to mention embarrassing.

I'm glad we can all go through this together, knowing we're not alone. Thanks again for the suggestions and advice!

*I always feel like I'm complaining/being whiny when I talk about my IBS (especially to those who don't have it!), that I should just 'man up and tough it out'. I don't know....


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## erinelizabeth (Jul 6, 2012)

Stool softeners mess with my stomach as well, but they help me go on occasion. 
The pain is the worst I know.

When I would have ibs symptoms (before the diagnosis) it was like people around me treated me as though I was making it up, or over exaggerating. Once I was in and out of the hospital awaiting multiple tests for crohns it seemed people actually gave a ######, but when I finally received the ibs diagnoses everyone went right back to "oh... It's just ibs... You'll be fine". Frustrating.
I don't talk about it with anyone anymore unless they're close to me personally. If someone asks I shrug it off, make a slight joke of it, and move on. They really don't give a #### about my poop anyways! (No pun intended) 
So don't take what people think to heart.

But definitely make an appointment for the colonoscopy. If not to clear your mind... to clear your bowels.


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## Edward01 (Dec 5, 2012)

Hi mate,
IBS is not a spooky affliction of the mind. Its quite logical. It will affect your mind feeling bad but it doesnt come from the mind. There could be several issues you can check out. If you have a bacterial overgrowth, some bacteria produce methangas which constipates you. The bacteria wants to keep the food for themselves and with the release of chemicals constipates you. You can test this with a hydrogene / methanegas test. Its important to find the right place to do that as they have to check for BOTH gases. The right test will need about 6 hours. If they tell you a quick solution they are not serious. Dont waste your money on them. You have to go to a Lab where they do the test and dont buy an online kit they dont work!

Then there could be problems with your peristalsis because of lack of serotonin. That means that a unbalance of important hormons affect your forward movement of your intestines. (The food is not moved forward)

For constipation-predominant IBS the dru tegaserod marketed under the brand name Zelnorm can beneficial.

I reccoment you the book: A New IBS Solution from Mark Pimentel MD and the book Breaking the vicious cycle intestinal health through diet by Elaine Gottschall! They are very good and teach you about IBS and the connection to bacteria! Very important books!

yours
thomas


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## annie7 (Aug 16, 2002)

trapped--so sorry for all your problems--it's hard isn't it.

the fda took zelnorm off the usa market a few years ago but yes--do try linzess (linaclotide). according to the clinical trials,it is supposed to be very successful in helping people with ibs-c and chronic constipation. ask your doc about it. is there a cvs in your area? they have it. i think costco does too. or maybe your doc has samples to try. linzess is supposed to be a lot better than amitiza.

good luck. hope you can find some relief.


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## nigol (Jul 7, 2012)

This happened to me long ago, I think what fixed the constipation is either the digestive enzyme i was taking if you could believe that or just eating and going to the bathroom according to schedule even when nothing happens. It was like 6 months of this before a sense of return to norm calmed me. I didnt do anything special, but if you want diarriha I usually find junk food to do the trick, probably not a good advise but thats what i used to do.


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## NCK (Nov 3, 2012)

Im sorry to hear your story. I have not experianced your exact situtation myself but I have been in a lot of pain from my IBS. I would ask to be put under if you can for your colonscopy. I have a alot of scopes mostly into my stomach but a few months ago i had to have both done at the same time. This is the first time they put me right out and I'm so glad they did. It is way more comfortable. I also would go to your doctor and demand to see a GI specialist. I know the frustration with doctors and I know as an IBS suffer I need to go in a demand to have things done as no one but an IBS sufferer can understand what your going through and how painful it is.

Good luck. I hope you feel better soon.


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## lone_paladin (Sep 29, 2011)

I understand your pain. I have IBS-C and sometimes I myself have to wait about six or seven days before moving something. I call it wearing the mask because you want to cope with everyday life with something that is not only painful, but has no cure. Since I don't my family or friends to worry about how bad the pain is I just act like everything is fine. I've had the pains you've been feeling for sixteen years. I've dealt with the physical pain of feeling like your stomach is being eaten from the inside out to having neighbors spread nasty rumors about me just to be spiteful. It's easy for someone to say just hang in there, but not everyone feels the same pains. You're in a very supportive community so hang in there, because this world is a very cold world and whether you have a chronic illness or not you'll always feel when someone's cold hearted. I'm here for you if need anything.


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## trapped inside (Dec 14, 2012)

to Lone_paladin: thank you for the words of kindness and support. It is a lonely and cold world when I feel like no one understands - or cares - about the pain I feel inside. My Mother told me I was "sucking the life out of her" just by telling her about my abdominal pain/cramping/bloating. Nothing seems to help. I like what you said though, about having to wear a mask to cover up the internal turmoil. I also read your post under "a day in the life of an ibs sufferer" and I was encouraged by how much I could relate to you. I can't believe your neighbors would stoop that low as to spread rumors about you -- $*@(_# them, they sound like @#*_holes anyways.

Keep in contact with me and the community, for I feel your pain and, most of all, I understand.


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## Psilocybin (Nov 4, 2012)

Go on a FODMAPs diet.


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## To Our Faces (Dec 25, 2012)

Linzess, Resolor, low acid coffee, and an OTC stool softener.


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## screeb (Jul 25, 2001)

I know how you feel. You start off thinking that if you eat, the machinery of your bowels should produce a B.M. But it doesn't. This stresses you out and if you are stressed out long enough it affects your immune system and you get depressed,( like a caged animal). this is how it started off with me, *thirty years ago*, when I was 19. I know you are young and told that your generation is supposed to change the world, and you can do anything, but this is one circumstance where the world changes you! Me, personally--I never give up. One has to go through the 5 stages of grief--denial, rejection, anger, acceptance, forgivness, then love. See the movie "Les Miserables," and start to fight for and create healing. It's a long road , years in the making, when God chooses you to suffer, but He will also choose the time of your action in the passion play of life. Be prepared with studying biology and medicine, for you can be the agent of your own salvation. Remember, you wrote the original entry and got people to respond, therefore, you are a good writer and no one can take that away from you, (as well as your soul).


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## DAD (Jun 12, 2009)

TRAPPED INSIDE ...

I'm thinking with the rather suddeness of your onslaught, not knowing your medical history of course, your body is suddenly reacting to allergies and most probably food allergies or intolerances and they can cause horrible problems. Since you live in Seattle, why don't you just schedule in with the IBS Clinic there and see what they say. You've obviously seen other doctors and are scheduling in for a colonoscopy and supposing that comes out OK, check into food allergies and bacteria overgrowth there. Also for discovering and treating food allergies, I would highly consider exploring the alternative method of NAET and some of the books advised there. I know this method works as I'm 11 years experienced at using NAET myself.

Also if you somehow ate a bit of food poisoning at a restaurant or even at home, that could have started your recent internal war.

Some IBS sufferers find relief with certain types of pro-biotics too.

Some also find relief from seeing a very skilled chiropractor for specific spinal adjustments as those digestive organ nerves do come out thru vertebraes along the spine and even a small subluxation (pinched nerve) could bring about digestive issues and pain.

You will probably have to do a lot of self-evaluating and research yourself as you are now noticing how the traditional medical practice is reacting to your problems.

DAD


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## Pananda (Dec 27, 2012)

Naturopathic doctor here and new sufferer of IBS which I believe has been very low level and held at bay by a primarily gluten free diet for the past ten years. I'm pretty sure that my IBS was caused by a sugar addiction I had in medical school and too much bourbon for way too long. Anyhoo... Trapped Inside...the earlier poster is exactly correct. You should go on a FODMAPS/SCD/GAPS diet (google them) immediately and ask your doctor for a Hydrogen Breath Test to determine if your IBS is really SIBO (small intestine bacterial overgrowth). With your intractable constipation, it sure sounds like it. I'm testing myself next week as I have finally realized after ten years of yoga and ab work, this belly is not fat, it's bloating. There's an awesome site for more info on SIBO www.siboinfo.com from Dr. Allison Siebecker. You can have your doctor order at test kit for you to do at home from the NCNM Clinic for only $125. In the meantime, follow any of the above diets and take magnesium citrate with 3 quarts of water per day and you should notice some improvement until you get at the root cause. Of course, I am not prescribing anything... Just telling you what I would (am) doing. Best wishes!


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## tjas (Apr 15, 2013)

Hello 

I wandered across this site and your posting doing the same.... looking for help, advice, you name it. I wont go into the myriad of abdominal issues, surgeries, ect at this point. I can say I sure do feel your pain, frustration, embarrassment!

In reading through all that you have tried I noticed one thing that I dont believe you mentioned that has helped me. If you have, just consider this a hug and keep on going 

First I did see someone mentioned probiotics. There is a very good one you can buy at Walmart for less than $10, I think the brand name is sun valley?

But mostly, have you tried miralax? It works by putting water back into your colon and then helping it move out. I take a couple doses a day. Its a powder, stir it into a glass of water and you can hardly taste. It seems GIs are switching to using large doses of this as cleanouts for colonoscopys and such now. It certainly is much easier on abdominal discomfort. According to drs, it does not have the long term effects that laxatives and senna can have. Try taking it with a couple good glasses of water. You should have help within the day. You will have to adjust to see what works for you. I had no idea how different it was til I tried it this past summer and it really does help when nothing else ever has. Nothing, and I mean nothing... has helped me in the past until I found miralax.

I also have a 4yr old grandson that seems to have the same struggles. Poor little guy tries and tries and just gets little bits out. Not even hard, they can be soft but just small amounts. Ive also learned the hard lessons on straining and the damage it can do to your system. His pediatrician put him on this as needed. Just a little bit stirred into his juice gets him back up and going without any diahrea, abdominal discomfort and such.

Im sure there is much more to your struggles than this little suggestion, but I do know what for myself and the issues I have I sure wish I had known of this years ago. Hang in there  TJ


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## mwm (Apr 15, 2013)

OP (Trapped Inside): What were the results of your colonoscopy?


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## m-p{3} (Nov 8, 2013)

I'm in the same situation, and the next step is a colonoscopy. I'm on a waiting list and it might take up to January to get it done, so for now I'm trying to find something (testing several food to see if the provoke pain/gas or not) to finally feel better until then.

Can't wait to know what I actually have..


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## windemere (Sep 25, 2011)

I get severe cramping pain in my lower abdomen. Have actually been dealing with it tonight. Sometimes a bowel movement helps but when im constipated no such luck. And ive been constipated for the past two weeks. So im laying in bed hoping the cramping subsides but its been a couple hours and its not letting up. Its horrible. Its incredibly painful. I have yet to figure out how to prevent it or make it stop. Im sorry youre feeling so bad...hopefully youll find relief soon. But you arent alone..many of us are in your situation so you have support here


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## Bozz (Dec 1, 2013)

Whether this is a ray of hope or not, what you are experiencing might be more closely related to bacteria either in two possible ways: infection of intestines or parasitic attack. I'm not saying this to scare you or anyone else and do not take my word alone at all. Please do research on what I'm about to say because I'm not a doctor. If it is an abdominal infection in the form similar to the transpiration of Diverticulitis, it inflicts large amounts of pain as well (I know from a family member that experienced it). For that, simple antiobiotic meds cure it. Read up on what occurs when you have Diverticulitis (if your doctor hasn't already ruled it out or explained it to you). If pain and extreme discomfort persists or doctor has ruled out anything of the sort, than what I have read from your story and replies could be caused by an internal infestation of parasites. Don't be scared or disimilar as well. Parasites are real, but your life is not in an immediate concern of fatality. Again, I am no doctor. Do not take my word for it without having done research yourself. Parasitic influences on the human body is a broad subject and that is where my generalization comes into play. The reason I share this information is because of the many stories and events that people all over the world have experienced and have shared and that I have read and heard about. I have done quite a bit of personal research on these matters. I suggest you do the same so that you can be a testimony to others after all of this suffering that you have is past and gone away. Another reason why I'm giving this info. is because I know as a fact that the abnormal influence of parasites mostly affects the abdominal area of the body as it is considered by many as the 'second brain.' This area of the body is important to keep healthy in order to upkeep the entirety of your health. This is because your abdominal is the central capsule, if you will, of your body's major blood vessel workings and nerve connectivities. Parasites feed on this immense nutrient flow within the body where it is their housing. Sounds gross, I know, but believe it or not, not all parasites are harmful and some might even be necessary. For example, it is just like a mushroom growth embedded in the bark of a tree only for the relationship b/w the mushroom and the tree to be mutually peacefull and coexisting. To explain a little more about it (not to blabber), external, uninvited parasites not natural to the body, such as the ringworm, are many in kind and can enter your body mainly through food (raw/red meat, etc.) as do a lot of stories that I've read about. Some through bugs like the mosquitoe-malaria is a parasitic infection, etc. All of what I am saying is not a suggestive medical course of action. It shouldn't sound like that anyway. It is merely information to be researched that might or might not be related to distress in the abdominal area. Seems to me that with the degree of uncertainty that your doctors have reasoned with, according to your story, it could be helpful to think broader than the limited spectrum of medecine and medecinal practices. Disclaimer: In no way do I intend to discredit the current medical practices of current medicinal practitioners with the words I have just written; I do not discredit them in any other fashion as well.

To conclude, be your own man and use your own brain to find the real cause of your sufferings because there is a cause/causes. Remember, half the fight is confirming with yourself that you will get past this event of your life. Never let down and be a testimony to those who need your support as well, no matter what stage of your event you are in. Believe that your body can be healed and it will function to its fullest capacity when you are healed. I hope I have let some light on a pivotal moment of your life. Take into consideration what I have mentioned for your own personal research. God bless and be well!


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## IndianRopeTrick (Jul 25, 2013)

trapped inside said:


> Nonetheless, I depressingly go through each day, gloomy about the future, about my life. I think of all the things I won't be able to do because of my 'syndrome'. I think of all the fun hiking trips I won't go on; the girls I will miss; the social gatherings I will avoid; the delicious food I can't eat; and - most of all - a sense of control over my life.
> 
> Am I being a pessimistic wimp? Do I need to try something else? Can anyone relate to the way I feel? Does it get any better?


I feel bad about my future too and the chances of losing my job because of the disease. But I still try to find some way out, despite the pain and sadness in the hope that it will get better someday. You are not a pessimistic wimp. All the people who blow trumpets about "positivity", "self help books" and all that crap should first deal with a chronic and debilitating disease

for sometime, before peddling their rosy BS. However, I still feel that one must try to bear the pain and try to find ways to reduce it first. If you figure out a diet, regimen, meds etc that make your life even 50% better, then its worth it. However, if there is no change even after 5-7 years of discipline and trying, then I have not even hope to offer.

Hope you find some cure. I am struggling too now.


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## Bozz (Dec 1, 2013)

Do research like you never have before. There is a cause for everything and there is an answer for every question. Do it for yourself and those on this forum. Cheer up.


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