# Can you relate?



## PippylongStockings (Jun 6, 2002)

I don't know people who have the same worries as me and was hoping maybe someone did then I wouldn't feel so alone. My main worries now are social anxiety and getting through days at school. I feel like everyone is staring at me while I'm walking around school. In class I sit there worried about my stomachs noises. How am I going to make it through medical school if I am swamped right now and how will I pay rent then because I can only have a job that is approved by the school while attending it. And that town is so expensive. How will I make it and pay all my bills. I'm taking time off of work for the moment and still having trouble with classes. What will I do then? I'll need a full time job and learn to be a doctor at once. Then I worry how my mom will do financially if my dad dies and how she will have to give up her lifestyle and can she keep the house and how will she be living alone. And I worry about a speech class I have to take as a requirement. I have to take it within the next 3 years and already I am freaking. Thinking of it makes me want to puke. I can't get up infront of people. I always think people are saying things about me and if someone laughs it must be at me for some reason. If people whisper it must be about me. I can't get to sleep anymore till it's too late and I have an hour or two or sleep. I feel this extreme anxious feeling when trying to sleep and even the other night I found myself in the living room (i sleep walked into there) and was frantically looking around feeling really freaked out. I just up from my sleep feeling so anxious. I just realized that most of my friends are no longer aound or we have lost touch and right now I have one true friend who I don't know if I can even count because she's mean to me. I don't know how to make friends and I really don't have any anymore. The only ones I have are guys and they aren't much of friends because they want us to date and not be friends. I want friends. Normal people have friends. I cry all the time and for stupid reasons. I feel so alone. People say just get out and do things you'll get over your fear. No I won't I've tried it and all it does is freak me out and I feel horrible and get even more scared for the next time. I know I need help and am getting it but I guess I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. And for some reason men really freak me out. I am VERY nervous around ANY male and think they will be mean to me for sure. I don't know why the males in my family are all nice to me and nothing bad has ever happened.


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## Guest (Oct 29, 2002)

Pippy.... I don't know your story yet, so it's a guessing game for me to comment at length, however, if you are suffering from the kinds of anxiety, panic and phobias that you describe, the first course of business is to see a licensed behavioral health care practitioner (psychiatrist or psychologist) and have yourself evaluated for anxiety/depression/obsessive-compulsive disorder.. etc.Honey... when you are requisitioned to give a speech.... (and trust me, I've been there).... instead of worrying about how you will come off to the audience... think about the fact that you are going to give the audience something that they don't have..... you are, in effect, giving them a "treat".Remember to smile and breath deeply once in a while.And did you ever see that deodorant commercial that said "NEVER LET 'EM SEE YA SWEAT" ??? Just because you are feeling a little nervous doesn't mean that your audience has to know.Usually we are our own worst enemy when it comes to judging our abilities or how others perceive us.Just do your best... and do it from your heart ..... that's all you can do. It will boost your confidence and give you a great deal of satisfaction.And if all else fails... just picture them all as naked.








(works for me)Warm Regards, Evie


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## Guest (Oct 29, 2002)

P.S. Pippy... in order of importance, the following are things that can be utilized to combat anxiety:MedicationCognitive behavioral therapyHypnotherapybiofeedback therapyTalk therapyExerciseGetting out and being with friends and laughing... humor tends to dispell anxietyHope this helps, Evie


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## Guest (Oct 29, 2002)

Hey PippyDont mean to respond to all ur posts, just happened to see this one, and theres no way anyone could not respond to this one if they saw it. U are not alone. The easiest way to see that is if u read some of the other posts and see just how many people feel exactly as u do. College was a really hard time for me too and I dealt with many of the same issues. My biggest regret is that I let fear and worry isolate me so much. I never told any of my few school friends about my IBS problems and the actions I took to hide my problems left some feeling confused and hurt because they didnt understand why I needed to be alone sometimes. Ultimately my actions hurt me worst of all. Maybe u should consider talking to ur school nurse and think about getting a disability statement(I think thats what its called) if u dont already have one. I know that still leaves problems like how will u make up missed notes, but if u personally talk to your instructors and let them know u will need help I think they will. Please try to remember that people are not out to hurt us, but to help us. Its easy to let a few bad people ruin ur perception of everyone else, but dont let that happen to u. The men in ur family are nice to u cause theyre good guys, and because u deserve no less, so please dont accept any less from other guys. Also, interestingly enough, I was reading an article about social anxiety a while back and it said that social anxiety is at its worst during the college years, and thats when it can get really bad. Take care and remember ur not alone, so dont cry


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## PippylongStockings (Jun 6, 2002)

I'm calling tomorrow for my appointment. It's only going to be $20 for some reason my insurance changed their coverage in August and is now covering mental visits like normal ones. My mom is asking me not to go saying it might affect me later on having this on my record. But if I don't get this taken care of now well I don't know what would end up happening so oh well. Not like I'm running for office and they will use it against me. Today I'm ok I don't know I go back and forth like crazy. I took a vicodin to try and get to sleep but I feel like I took nothing.I love my mom I just wish she would realize that even though my childhood was great and nothing is going wrong in my life that it's still possible to feel like this. She just can't understand how I can be this upset when nothing is wrong.


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## PippylongStockings (Jun 6, 2002)

I have trouble concentrating and today it really showed. Last week I had two tests one day I was able to concentrate and made a 95 on the test. Most people in the class had a 70. The other test I couldn't concentrate and made a 64







. It's depressing.By the way thanks for replying this is the only place I can get support. The last friend I have left told me "why would you see a shrink you dont need one"







they don't know what goes on inside i'm great at acting like things are fine. Can't judge a book by it's cover.What is a disability statement? Would that allow me to not have to take that class? Some reason all colleges feel that everyone needs speech class *sighs*.


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## nmwinter (May 31, 2001)

pippyI ave a few comments. I've never gone through exactly what you're going through - anxiety almsot to the point of paralysis (not physical but at least mental). But I sure ave dealt with stress - not always well. First, you are not alone in what you're going through. College is a really stressful time - for anyone. Second, think it's a great idea to go see someone. Forget about how it will look later. I can't imagine anyone holding it against you - employer or constituents - for seeing a therapist for dealing with anxiety. Lots of people do it and it's far, far better than doing nothing. If it makes you feel better, I have a few friends who regulary see councilors and need anti-anxiety drugs, but thye all have good jobs (lawyer, PR, marketing) and are very well respected.About the speech class - I know where you are coming from. But remember, that 90% of that class has most of the same fears you do. And it's not easy or natural for anyone to get up and do it. But you can. Like Evie said, you're giving something to the audience that they woldn't have otherwise. They want to listen to you (usually anyway). And like it or not, giving talks/presentations is a very common part of most jobs these days. After a while, it gets easier. Worst that can happen is you can bomb but it's only bad during the actual time you're talking - then it's over. take care and good luck. I think you're making the right positive steps in going to see someone.nancy


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## Guest (Oct 30, 2002)

Good 4 U, Pippy... sounds like things are going a little better for you.Happy thoughts.... coming your way







Evie


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## Guest (Oct 30, 2002)

Ha Ha Nice try Pippy







not even a disability statement will get u out of speech class! Disability statements are usually read aloud by the professor the 1st day of class and are in most syllubuses. Also I forgot to mention some colleges and universities also offer therapy for their students and I don't think they charge for it either. But at my school I heard that unless it was a serious case, a graduate psychology student would do the counseling. Depending on the school u go to, they may do things differently. It is really commendable that u are doing things to help urself though. There are many seemingly happy and well-adjusted people out there that get counseling. People who others would think never needed counseling. Take care Pippy (and take on ur fears too)







Sammie


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## Tummy Trouble TB (Nov 10, 2001)

Pippy,I identified with your post on many levels, but especially the friends part. I used to have a decent amount of friends, but one by one they all dropped off. I have 2 people I can count on now, but I don't see them that often because I'm always afraid to go out places for fear of a panic attack.Medication has helped me a lot (especially Effexor), but it's not without its downfalls. The Effexor has given me high blood pressure, so I traded one problem for another basically. But working with your doctor and psychiatrist, you should be able to come up with a treatment plan that can bring you out of this.My mom tells me "to get out and do things!" too in order to make friends, but that's just not my thing. I'm just not a people person, and I think most people sense that upon meeting me. Hang in there,


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## PippylongStockings (Jun 6, 2002)

Yea our school lets the graduate students counsel, trust me if you were around any of these graduate students you wouldn't go. They are not at the professional level yet in maturity they play around and don't take it seriously. Last week the graduates who gave us our test were saying there wer high and so on and well I think they were. I won't be able to be on anything that could cause blood pressure to rise b/c mine is around 145-150 when I'm half asleep(which is when i take it at the dr) so I can imagine how it is normally. Plus I'm worried about stomach problems I hear so many people saying their medicines from the psychiatrist wrecked their stomach. I have to go to a seminar in about 30 minutes and am really nervous. When I go places I haven't been before it freaks me out. I've been talking myself out of it but I know I have to it's going to give me extra points in a class.


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## PippylongStockings (Jun 6, 2002)

I forgot this...my main problem with people is that I'm very shy from all this and don't really talk unless people talk to me then I still have trouble talking getting the words out. If I try my words get jumbled. I'm like this to most people even some that I know. But they take it as me being a b*tch or thinking I'm too good for them. The friend I have left think that of me and let me know it because I don't always say yes to invites to my friend , which is either due to illness or going to places that would cause a panic attack. So I quit going to her house since she lives with her parents and her sister and husband are always around and think the same of me. Mind you they are complete b*tches, but have the nerve to think I'm one because of being shy.


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## Guest (Oct 31, 2002)

Pippy... it sounds like you may need a bit of assist with your ability to focus. Adult A.D.D. along with anxiety could be contributing to your issues. It's worth getting checked. Medication and talk therapy could make all the difference in the world for you.Warm regards, Evie


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## Shangirl85 (Oct 12, 2002)

hi pippy,im the same way. i always get anxiety when faced with any social activity, especially when guys are involved. i dont know why im like this but ive been this way for as long as i can remember. dont give up on going out though. sometimes its so hard and it takes so much energy not to totally freak out but it shouldnt take over your life since you only get one. try going to a psychiatrist because they can help you sort out why social things freak you out, and maybe even speak to them about meds. i think i mite start taking them, anything to help my concure this stupid anxiety. stay strong and if you wanna talk about this or anything else, e-mail me (shangirl85###hotmail.com)best wishes,shannon


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## GailSusan (Dec 23, 2000)

Hi Pippy, I can relate to what you are saying as I've experienced everything you are talking about at different points in my life, but not all at one time as you are. It must be totally overwhelming. It sounds to me like an SSRI, such as Paxil, would be of enormous help to you, especially with regard to the social anxiety. Think of it this way, if you were a diabetic, you'd take insulin. If you have social anxiety to the point where it is paralyzing your life, then there could be a biochemical imbalance which the SSRI could help. I hope the doctor can help you soon. It sounds terrible what you are going through. I'm sorry. The lack of social support in your life isn't helping either, but it is hard to make new friends when you are feeling the way you are. When the doctor helps you get your anxiety under control, you'll be able to concentrate and be more relaxed around people, and then hopefully develop some good friendships.


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## LittleBonJoviGirl (Nov 30, 2002)

Goodness, I know it's been over a month since your initial post, but I just wanted to let you know that YES, I DO KNOW HOW YOU FEEL! I'm a college student, too, and honestly, when I read your post, it was almost like a chapter out of my own journal. Since IBS-D/Panic Disorder have infringed upon my life, I've found myself to be a completely different person than I was, say, even over the past summer. I rarely get a good night's sleep before days that I have classes; I cry ALL the time because of the complete devastation from all of the stress from school and the stress of being sick ALL THE TIME; my stomach's rumbles and my D are always at the forefront of my mind when I'm in class, and thus, I can't concentrate anymore, either. I can so relate to what you're going through. (I have a post in Young Adult's & Diarrhea Forums about my story). And as for the speeches, YES, I know that feeling too, all too well. Thankfully, I got rid of my speech class requirement when I was a freshman in college and had no symptoms of IBS - didn't even have to take an Immodium or a Xanax - man, those were the days! But my professor WAS very compassionate, and despite the fact that my class of 30 people met in the mornings, she let me give my speeches in front of her night class that consisted of only 7 students, just to take off the edge a little. Still, even though I'm done with that speech class, presentations, no matter what the subject matter, abound in almost all of my classes. I still have one left on Thursday, and though it's not a typical presentation, as I just need to sit in my seat and give a brief overview of a paper I wrote, it still is mind-boggling. It's terrible when you know you have a presentation during a semester, and during the ENTIRE semester, your mind is always wrapped up in the anxiety of that speech. 3 months of worrying for a 5 minute act - still, it happens. And I hate it. Please e-mail me if you need any more support from a fellow college student who seems to be your cosmic twin in this IBS/Panic area! I'm here for you, and praying for you


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## Guest (Dec 2, 2002)

Agree completely with Gailsusan on this, Pippy. I've been this route as well, and what she is saying is correct. Sometimes CBT works without meds, but only a physician and therapist can know for sure which method will help you with these anxiety issues.Best wishes... and let us know how you are doing. (And feel free to vent all you like... cuz we're all sufferers just like you)







Evie


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