# realy struggling with my anxiety and depression



## cherrypie09 (Jan 20, 2009)

Hi.I am really struggling at the moment with my anxiety and depression. I had a nervous breakdown at the begining of February, it had been coming on for months. But i have always suffered on and off with bouts of depression even before i was diagnosed with IBS-D 9 years ago.Ive been on Mirtazapine for 4 weeks now, the first 3 weeks at 15mg and the last week at 30mg. Some days i wake up and feel good and then the next few days i am really uptight and down and anxious. Sometimes i dont even know why i am feeling like it, my IBS-D is playing up bad at the moment and its that, that is causing most of my stress and anxiety, I am on my 15th day of Michael Mahoneys Hypnotherapy cds, not sure if they are working yet, but i do feel relaxed when listening to them, but when they are finished, i get uptight again. I try to keep busy, with housework, cooking, and doing my tapestry as i am unable to work at the moment due to the depression and IBS-D playing up so bad. I am imagineing every little symptom i feel as something is really wrong, even when i get it checked out i still worry about it. Sorry to go on but i am feeling very low, any words of advice would be great.


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## Kathleen M. (Nov 16, 1999)

Do you have a therapist, or just getting medicated?If you can't afford a therapist, at least see if the local mental health agency can get you info on support groups, or reduced cost therapy/group therapy.Group often is a lot cheaper than individual.At least find a book at the library that is a workbook for dealing with anxiety and depression. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy techniques tend to work well and a lot of times even in a therapy session you do a lot of the work at home, so the workbooks that give you the homework can sometimes help a lot.4 weeks into treatment with medication is often when things really start to kick in, so hopefully the next couple of months will start to look up.


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## Guest (Mar 28, 2009)

Oh darling - don't apologise for posting here - thats what we're here for. I've struggled with anxiety/depression and its miserable and you have nothing but sympathy from me. I think the very worst aspect is feeling all alone - that you are the only bugger in this mess - believe you me, you are not. Take heart - stick with the mitrazapene - thats what I'm on and if it helps - I have now been well for nearly 3 years' - I work part-time and run after my 3 kids, dog and husband, I've travelled to New York and had an adventure of a lifetime in Canada visiting Mark (Overitnow) off this board and his wife. You have to give it time - it could be 6/8 weeks before you really start seeing the benefit of it.In the meantime - it might be worth while going and seeing if you could find a yoga class or somewhere where you can learn relaxation and even meditation techniques. I'm no expert but the very first thing that helped me in hospital (yes, I got that bad, I attempted suicide and was in a psychiatric unit for 6 weeks) was some basic meditation and visualisation techniques. I couldn't really "explain" them here but you are using some CDs aren't you - stick with that - even if it only helps whilst you are doing it - thats all good. Try and take as much exercise as you can - that gets you out of the house and triggers endorphines and thats good too.Try and stick to regular bedtimes and mealtimes and eat as much fresh fruit and veggies as you can too.You know where I am if you wish to PM me - I really have been where you are now - and there is always, always hope.Sue xxxx


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## cherrypie09 (Jan 20, 2009)

I do see a doctor from mental health once a fortnight and a mental health nurse once a fortnight, I am on the waiting list for Cognative Behavior Therapy. I am trying to keep busy, but going out isnt realy very good at the moment as the IBS-D realy bad at moment. I too tried to commit suicide 4 years ago and ended up in hospital. You do feel alone, and feel like you will never get better, I wish i could see hope and that i will feel better soon, but as my IBS-D is a big contributor to my anxiety and depression and there is no cure for IBS i cant see me feeling good ever again. I know its a vicious circle and ive to think positive, but i find it very hard, i keep a journal of bad and good moments, but its a bit onesided with the bad. People say it does get better, but does it when you cant control the IBS-D.


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## Guest (Mar 28, 2009)

Well then - you need to get busy and find ways of managing the IBS don't you - have a read around the IBS-D parts of the forum. Plenty of folk here have turned their lives around with lifestyle changes and supplementation.Sue


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## CatUK (Dec 15, 2006)

Oh cherry I can really sympathise with you as I feel pretty much the same. I am almost 3 weeks into 20mg of Fluoxetine (Prozac) and am not feeling any benefit at all. Am really anxious so not going because I feel sick. I too am on a waiting list for CBT but it's a 5 month waiting list which feels ages away. Have you tried keeping yourself busy about the house at least? I do the cooking, housework and also doing some painting at the moment just to try and take my mind off things. If you ever want to chat we are here and please feel free to pm me anytime


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## cherrypie09 (Jan 20, 2009)

sue v. I am trying. I have tried lactose free, gluten free, probiotics, immodium, hypnotherapy cds. low fat, low carbs,.Cat. I do the housework, cooking, do tapestry, read, do the weekly shop, but take immodium to do this.


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## Guest (Mar 28, 2009)

Its a long, uphill struggle it really is - but you will get there - stick with the anti-depressants. The main thing is to try and get proper sleep and eat as well as you can.Sue


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## cherrypie09 (Jan 20, 2009)

Hi.Its only me again, I have had a very bad weekend with the anxiety, feeling really uptight, down, feel like im never going to get better, why do you feel like this, even when you cant think of what starts you off, some days i get through quite easily and not too down or uptight, other days i am so uptight i feel like i could burst, I am still on the mirtazapine, ive been on them 6 weeks now, but the last 3 weeks ive been on 30mg, perhaps i need to up my dose, tried to contact my mental health doctor today, but she isnt in till thursday, so left a message to ring me. I have to go into hospital soon, waiting for the appointment, for more tests for the diarrhoea(IBS-D), I have to come off the immodium 2 days before i go in, that is worrying me.


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## Guest (Apr 14, 2009)

I'm so sorry you are having such a rotten time and at 6 weeks, I'd be expecting you to start certainly having some significantly better days. When I started feeling better - I'd have maybe one good day, one bad, then perhaps 3 good days in a row and 1 bad - I'd be inclined to keep a mood diary - then, when you do get to see the GP, you can actually measure out a pattern of how things have been. I think, when you are having a rough day, you tend to lose a sense of perspective and see everything as worse than it actually has been.Would you say, since you've been on 30mg dose that things IN GENERAL have picked up. 30mg is a fairly hefty dose - I don't know how you'd do on stronger - I've always been on 30mg and am very lucky in that I've been well for the best part of 3 years.Try and see the doc, perhaps at the head of next week - try the diary - be very business-like about this and perhaps you'll see that in general, you have been doing better.Its a long, hard slog and believe you me Cherry, I do know how you feel.Sue xxx


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## cherrypie09 (Jan 20, 2009)

hi. SueYes since being on the 30mg i do feel a bit better, I am doing the cbt on line(called beating the blues) on session 3 now , its helping me to channel my negative thoughts, and to see what im doing that makes me feel better or worse. (a activity diary with a score of 0-8 0 being good, 8 being very uptight and anxious. most of mine are an 8, i have got down to a 6 and 7. I just feel i should be making more progress, (at least iam not crying, which i was doing nearly all day every day)


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## Guest (Apr 14, 2009)

Well thats good luvvie - do remember, its a long, hard slog - just stick with the programme - you are obviously been proactive so good for you.I'm here if you need to PM OK.Sue xxx


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## cherrypie09 (Jan 20, 2009)

Thanks very much Sue.Have a lovely trip. Enjoy yourself( Barcelona) isnt it. lucky you.


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## Poo Pea 4 (Feb 10, 2009)

Hey Cherry,I dont really have any words of wisdom, sounds like youve been getting some great advice already. Just wanted to say thinking of you and hope things with your IBS start to improve. HUGS


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## cherrypie09 (Jan 20, 2009)

thanks very much for your kind words and thoughts.


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## Guest (Apr 14, 2009)

Oh bless - thanks Cherry - yeah we're taking our middle one Clare for her belated 16th birthday treat and the next door neighbour's girl who has been her best friend for about 12 years. Our son Jack who is 18 is Soph minding, she's 9 - so - er, wish us luck. We're only going for 3 days so should be fine.You all take care over the w/e.I'll be out of e-mail from Thurs-Mond but will be thinking of you all.Sue xxxx


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## CatUK (Dec 15, 2006)

Hiya Cherry, so sorry to hear you are still struggling with your anxiety and depression (know just how you feel). It's good that you are doing the online CBT (thanks for the tip about it, will be looking into it this weekend) and hopefully that will help ypour thoughts process while the tablets are starting to do there job. I've just come off Fluoxetine after not feeling any better after almost 5 weeks (in fact I felt much worse, don't think they work well for anxiety). Since I've been off them I've felt better and when anxiety attacks me I shout at myself in my head not out loud lol, I tell myself I do not need to feel anxious there is no need for it and sometimes it actually works. I think if I could just get my fear of being sick under control I wouldn't feel so bad when anxiety hits.Sue have a fab time in Barcelona, Mum and sister are off there in 3 weeks time. Sister has been before and is treating my Mum to a short break.


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## Guest (Apr 15, 2009)

Oh no Cat - surely not - I just think you are one of those people who shouldn't be on anti-depressants at all.Sue


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## CatUK (Dec 15, 2006)

I agree Sue, the ssri types definately don't seem to do anything for me and my Dr agrees. I'm having some time off them and trying the herbal route again (read about a magnolia and rhodiola complex so trying that). Will see what happens when I go for CBT as I know that CBT works best when in conjunction with medication so will discuss that with my Dr nearer the time.


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## Guest (Apr 15, 2009)

All I would say Cat - as you well know - any treatment for depression/anxiety takes time - whether that be herbal or medications - if you try St John's Wort - please be wary and never ever mix with other medications (I'm only warning - cos I had a very adverse reaction to it - thinking it was a lovely cosy herby type of thing and its a pretty serious bugger). I think you have to be wary of lurching from one thing to another in desperation. Don't hold out too much hope for CBT - I sincerely hope it helps - I've heard very mixed things about it so just tread carefully. I will be interested to hear how you get on.I'd be inclined to keep a diary - be very methodical tracking your moods - I found this helpful - and in some ways quite a positive experience - you might be surprised at how far you've come over the weeks. Often when you have a s**t day - you tend to feel that you have made no progress - if you actually record things at the time - then you can see and take it with you to your next GP appt - they may find it helpful too, my GP certainly did.Good luck - keep plugging away - you'll get there luv.Sue xxx


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