# College Student W/Panic Disorder and Possible IBS-D - Yikes!



## LittleBonJoviGirl (Nov 30, 2002)

(Note: This is a re-post from the "Diarrhea" forum - I was hoping that since some of you might not frequent that forum, you could catch my post here and offer some sound advice, since we're all around the same age/place in life







Thanks in advance!)Hey there, everybody!Firstly, I want to express the sincere relief that I felt upon the discovery of this board. I've visited a number of health-related boards that have attempted to provide support for those with IBS or other bowel disorders, but it seemed like no one really frequented those very often; and hence, no "support." Like I've read in many of your posts, I've gotten to the point of my self-diagnosed IBS where I have lost the will to live, and truly dread each and every day of class (I'm a junior in college) because the vicious cycle of IBS-D and panic disorder is always, always there. Since I plan on seeing a specialist over my Christmas break (which cannot come soon enough!), I was hoping that all of you could somehow guide me, as I'm not that familiar with all of the meds out there that are available for symptoms such as mine. My life began that "downward spiral" about 2 months ago (October 8, 2002, to be exact) which makes me a newbie, but definitely not a stranger to the devastating effects of this syndrome. I was sitting in one of my English classes that only holds about 12 people, so we're pretty close together when we sit in a semi-circle. Anyways, out of nowhere, my stomach started to give me signs that something was wrong - signs that a Big D movement was about to occur. I wasn't feeling ill, and though the class intimidates me, had never experienced those kind of Big D symptoms in a class ever before. Since the class is held in a men's dorm, there are NO women's bathrooms. I thought I could hold it, but I couldn't - and after excusing myself to use the women's restroom in another building, I had to excuse myself AGAIN because of the severe panic that ensued and the pains/gas/cramps that wouldn't let up. One time occurrence? No. I had to excuse myself from one other class before I started to take about 4 Immodiums every day. Still, this didn't take care of the unbelieveable panic that accompanied the stomach pain. Thus, my doctor put me on increasingly higher doses of Xanax (I'm now on 1 mg/twice per day) because of my history with anxiety disorder in the past. Every single day of my life is just ruined with the lessened versions of panic I experienced in that English class, coupled with the stomach pain and diarrhea that the Immodium cannot relieve. There HAS to be something out there that controls my bowels when my nerves are shot but doesn't constipate me.Right now, I've been off of Immodium for 9 days - I try never to take it when I'm not in class so I can give my bowels a rest. For four days after I took it, I had no BM's, but on the 5th day, I started to have BM's - so hard that they bled. From days 6-9, though, I've had constant diarrhea - not one definitely solid stool. Could this be because of the Immodium's affecting my system or just another indicator that I DO have IBS? It's odd that I'm still having diarrhea even though I'm not in any particularly stressful situations since I'm on Thanksgiving break and have confined myself to the home, writing papers. This also hints to me that, contrary to what my doctor implied, my anxiety is a RESULT of the diarrhea, not the other way around. Please, someone, enlighten me! I need all the support I can get I already have enough stress with my studies since I'm an extreme perfectionist and have been dealing with generalized anxiety for five years now, but now this? I'm ready to leave school! Thank you, so very much, for reading. I genuinely appreciate any feedback you may have


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## Vicky Foster (Sep 15, 2002)

greetings from a fellow perfectionist!I think we work ourselves way too hard, always striving for just that bit more, but ultimately it doesn't get us that much further in the race.I get very panicky with my IBS - quite often dread going places 'just incase' i get an attack, or i have to really psyche myself up to go by taking a whole lot of medicine etc etc.It gets a complete vicious cycle because the more you worry, the worse you feel, and then the iller you feel, the more you panic. it's just so exhausting!It's totally understandable that you're feeling really miserable. I think your first step would be to go back and harrass your doctor and get a definite diagnosis of IBS. Nikki Sue has recommended hypnotherapy, which i will be starting next week. It comes as a set of CD's that guide you through 100 days, and if nothing else, it will help you relax.The fact that you've got some counselling booked in over Christmas is great too - i've had plenty. It can really help to chat to an impartial adult who can help you to get things to be easier, or to see things in a new way.I've found changing my diet has helped a bit, although it's early days. I'm IBS D and C but the D is way more predominant so i know exactly how awful, embarrassing and upsetting it is to be struck down with an attack when you're with others.I'm really sorry you're having such a rough ride right now. My advice has been very muddled, but i hope you get a little comfort knowing you're not alone.If you want to chat or whatever, my email address is on my profile.Take care xXx


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## LittleBonJoviGirl (Nov 30, 2002)

Sparkle,Thank you so much for your reply! Just the fact that you took a bit of time from your day to offer me a little bit of encouragement and advice means the world to me







I am definitely planning on harrassing my doctor with a list of symptoms and medicines that I've collected from various research engines over the past few weeks. The nice thing about my doctor is that she's very accommodating and seems to be very understanding, so I'm hoping that once I explain the week of non-stop D with no panic, she'll realize that it IS IBS-D and not just a nervous stomach. You'll have to clue me in on how your hypnotheraphy works! My dad used tapes like those when he wanted to quit smoking, and from what I heard, they worked pretty well! So hopefully they will work as well for you, too - the best of luck to you with those







And yes, I'm slowly realizing that the constant pressure I'm putting on myself to perform academically isn't really necessary, and isn't going to matter in the long run. But then again, my overly-perfectionist self most always seeps through again and kills that nice, calm attitude. Meh - it's good to know I'm not alone!Thank you, once again, for all of your help and empathy







If there's anything I can do for you, please let me know!







I'll keep you in my prayers for sure


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## cloverleaf (Dec 18, 2001)

LBJG- (Love the name...and the band)You should first get diagnosed with IBS. You probably do have it, but it would be better to know that you don't have celiac disease or something else.I've read that people who are perfectionist are perfect candidates for anxiety disorders. That, mixed with IBS, is a recipe for lots of trouble! I know that sitting in class is so hard! What I find really hard is not necessarily having to use the bathroom, it's the making-the-decision-whether-or-not-to-go that causes anxiety. What I did to make things a lot easier is 1) write down my exact fears (having people hear my stomach, feeling my stool move in my intestine, and wondering when I should actually make the decision whether or not to leave the room). Amazingly, I didn't really care about what people thought if I left, I just dreaded the decisions surrounding it. After I did that, I 2) came up with a rating scale that would help me decide what level of symptoms would prompt me to use the bathroom, so the decision would be easy. And then I 3) decided that I would practice not caring if people hear my gut in class. As long as I don't feel the urge to go the bathroom, I no longer care that my gut groans and moans. Heck, it did it for an hour awhile ago and we were working on a worksheet and the room was quiet.I think one aspect of perfectionism is that we want to seem perfect to the world around us. I am learning that people really don't care about me that much! It's made a big difference.With that said, maybe you could buy a workbook that is a step-by-step program to reduce your anxiety and panic, and your IBS will become much more manageable. And don't wait! It's better to nip this in the bud!


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## Vicky Foster (Sep 15, 2002)

Hey, you're welcome x i know how lonely and scary it all gets.As for working yourself too hard, i know it's just in your nature *just like me* I'll let you know for sure how the hypnotherapy goes...i'm really looking forward to starting it although i guess i'm trying not to get my hopes up too much. fingers crossed!take care, and a big *hug*xXx


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## GeorgeX (Dec 2, 2002)

Hi.I know what you're going through with the embarassment in a classroom full of students. I don't get feelings of diarrhea, however. I just get gas. Sometimes my insides will make little noises here and there, and that will eventually lead to something like a fart, but rather than explode, it implodes. Know what I'm sayin'? Sometimes it makes a noticeable sound, and sometimes I'm able to cover it up with a cough. Regardless, it's REALLY embarassing and takes a great toll on my mind. And I've noticed that it usually happens when I'm nervous (Anxiety, I suppose? This is all too new for me). And the more I think about it, the more gassy feelings I get. I think it may be because I'm a freshmen in college and rooms full of 100 intimidating, new faces may cause me to become nervous, or something. And from the nervousness, I get the gassy feelings. Nothing like this ever happened to me in high school, where I was in a comfortable environment with people I was familiar with.







Anyway, I'm sorry if I sound like I have no idea what I'm talking about. Like I said, this is all pretty new to me and I haven't seen a doctor about it. I just barely found out about IBS today along with this messageboard. So yeah...thanks for reading my lame story.


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## LittleBonJoviGirl (Nov 30, 2002)

Cloverleaf,Thanks for your reply! (And it's good to know there's a fellow Jovian out here on the IBS boards!) You're most definitely correct in that I should first get diagnosed with IBS-D before I start making assumptions, and I plan on having that done ASAP. For the time being, however, I'll just make myself at home here with you guys because it's so much easier to relate to fellow sufferers than to try to explain it to family members/friends who honestly haven't a clue as to what you're experiencing. I guess I just don't understand WHAT caused my body to start with the D that day in class, because I really haven't had that much of a history of D or stomach problems before, other than maybe a little nausea/D before a speech. Hmm - does anyone know WHY IBS "starts?" Also, what you said about the eternal "to go or not to go" question during class is SO TRUE, yet I hadn't thought of it in those terms until you brought it up! So many times, I'll be thinking "OK, I should really just get up and go to the bathroom right now. But what if it's not "time?" What if the D isn't ready? What if people notice when I get up? What if I take too long?" And on and on and on...and yes, I'm sure that it only exacerbates the problem and the anxiety even MORE. The stomach gurgling, though, I just can't get my mind to stop worrying about. I guess I'm WAY too self-conscious for my own good, but as much as I try, I can't help but obsess over what others hear and how they'll perceive me. Maybe one day, I'll develop your attitude and just not care and hope others do the same







It's a process







Thanks again for your reply and for your encouragement! Like I said in another post, the support on these boards is incredible - again, thank you!


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## LittleBonJoviGirl (Nov 30, 2002)

George,I'm glad you replied to this topic, because a lot of it has to do with the anxiety that goes along with the stomach problems/gurgles/gas that I feel during class, too. And I know what you mean - this never happened to me in high school, and I was probably even more high-strung in the realm of my social awareness and my desire to feel accepted by my peers. It could be the stress of having to deal with a new environment and hundreds of classmates for you, though - that's a very valid reason. For me, I'm not quite sure, as I've been in college for nearly 3 years and this is only beginning now. All I can advise you is this: try to, before class, NEVER drink pop or carbonated beverages. Maybe try to take a Gas-X or something with an anti-gas agent in it after you eat breakfast and maybe that will help a little. I take Immodium Advanced, which has an anti-diarrheal and an anti-gas, and while I still get gurgles sometimes, at least I know I have something working in my system to attempt to stop it. If you ever need anything - especially moral support - just e-mail me. I definitely understand what you're going through and where you're coming from. Take care, and good luck


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## cloverleaf (Dec 18, 2001)

lbjg-Now THAT'S the eternal question--what causes IBS?! Most people can trace it back to one incident or time in their lives when their GI system was out of whack and never recovered. For some on this board it was a bacteria in the gut, some it was a major life stressor, and others they have no idea what brought it on. What I do believe is that no matter the cause, if it's not cured by antibiotics or avoiding a food or something specific, there's an element of anxiety that perpetuates it.With that said, I've read that anxieties, and panic disorder in particular, can be thought of overreactions to one situation that we generalize to other situations. For example, people who get panic attacks (non-IBS) will often have one day where they'll have a weird heartbeat and sweating that is caused by whatever, and then they don't find a medical cause and start to worry when the symptoms will pop up again. Then you start to get anticipatory anxiety and then the actual panic attack.So this may be what your big D day in class was. Perhaps you had a bug, or ate something that didn't agree with you, or whatever, but you are now worrying when this bad day will repeat itself and you are probably over sensitive to anything in your gut. People who have anxiety will often be "hypervigilant" about their symptoms and focus a lot on things they want to control (like the gut). That's why I recommended you read a book about reducing anxiety and phobia (which is essentially what lots of people with moderate and severe IBS have--phobias of going out in public and losing control). I wish I had read some of those books earlier because they have really helped me. They could have saved me the gradual progression of IBS taking more energy to deal with.Good luck with finals and work on not caring what others think! What is it that Dr. Phil says? Something about "you wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you knew how little they actually did!" Practice at home: hearing your gut and distinguishing that there is a distinction between gut noises and going to the bathroom (sometimes!)


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## Nikki (Jul 11, 2000)

Hey, did someone say BON JOVI! I love Bon Jovi! I missed him in concert last year and was devastated. Stupid IBS.







Sorry i didn't get back to this thread earlier, i have had a really busy week!







Yes, it is very important that you get an IBS diagnosis first before you attempt anything else! Harrass your doctor loads and make sure you get as much up to date information as possible. Ask about Hypnotherapy.







I have done it and it is just fantastic. I can't explain how and way it works, but i will give you the details of a man who does. Michael Mahoney: TimeLineServices###aol.comHis website is www.ibsaudioprogram.comOr, post for Eric over on the CBT and Hypnotherapy forum.I never had big problems with D in class until quite recently, when i have had to miss some lectures, and work a couple of times also.Try to stay positive though. It gets better when you learn how to deal with it.







Have you been talking any apart from imodium? An antispasmodic might help a bit. Peppermint is a natural antispasmodic. Peppermint tea is always good.Hope this helps. If you need anymore help PM me or post for me on here.Spliffy


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## rjmcg20 (Oct 3, 2002)

hmm anxiety, its certainly no fun. Ibs causes terrible anxiety, definately for me. Thats why I see the doc for no reason at all, which sucks when you receive the doctors bill. My last visit was not the best but I have a cyst on my head, and I my anxiety was so high I convinced I had a brain tumor. Had it all checked out and was fine but the anxiety didn't leave I was driving home and it caused me to have a huge head ache had to pull of the road. It took a good two weeks for me to get over the constant panic and worry, I honestly dont' think I am completely over it. Anxiety and panic attacks and depression seems to make life a lot harder definately with IBS. I would definately go to the doctor, about everything, don't self diagnose yourself. I take three immodium every day for over a year now, its safe and it lets me have an ok day definately when you have to work. I was in college, but that went to hell when ibs decided to ruin everything. WIth out the immodium I wouldn't be working part time now or going ten minutes from home. I had to take two and a half years off of work to get this somewhat undercontrol. Coming January I will be moving and working full time and I have no idea whats that is going to be like as I have a huge feeling its going to be hell as I find part time hard, but somewhere down the end of the tunnel there is light.(so my friends say) I havent' found it yet but someday I hope too. I hope you do. But try not to give up on college or life itself. I almost gave up my life because of this, if it wasnt' for friends I dont' know what would of happened. Glad you found this board. Try and have a good week. Take care,(sorry if you find this post completely depressing,im honestly not trying to ruin everyones week)







R.John


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