# being left in alone



## SHERBIE (Dec 23, 2003)

I hate this illness, and all the constraints it has on my life. Im in my early 30's and dont go out to have a drink anymore, no alcohol, fizzy pop or fruit juice. My partner has told me straight that he's going out next Friday for a lads night out... his friend is spliting up with his partner and my fella used to look after the friend of any girl he 'pulled' in the good olde days. This is what he seems to want to do as, he no longer goes to any of these places because of me. I said I'd go too, but no his friend wants a lads night. Im imagining all sorts of things happening, keep crying and its making me worse. What can I do?


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## Kathleen M. (Nov 16, 1999)

Even when both people are healthy and socially active sometimes people need a girls night out or a lads night out. Most of the happy couples I know have occasional out with the friends thing.If he is going to cheat or whatever on you he can do that with or without a lad's night out. And I dunno I could see the guy who is just broken up not wanting this to be a couples thing with him being the spare wheel. Sometimes being with couples right after you break up is really painful. If they guy is going to be true to you he will be even when he goes out with his friends and you are not there to watch him.If he is the kinda guy you must watch every minute or he will do bad things, that isn't a very healthy basis for a relationship IMO.How about have a girls night in? If you don't feel good going out have a couple of friends over and watch all those chick-flicks the boys do not want to watch get some great facial stuff or manicure stuff and do all that pampering stuff we sometimes don't take time to do. Or if you think you can go out have a girls night out, go shopping with friends or to a movie he doesn't want to see (When I was in a relationship I sometimes went out with the girls when there was a movie none of our guys wanted to see. Thelma and Louise was one of them...)K.


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## rrobin (Sep 8, 2004)

Hi Sherbie,I have been married for 17 years and even now one Friday a month my hubby goes to his friends for poker night. He goes with $40.00. He carrys a cell phone so if I need him I can get him. I totally trust him &love him. I don't drink and have to be very carful of what I eat but getting my anxiety under control has helped my IBS D greatly. Now I can go out amywhere with out worry of where the bathroom is.I am anxiety induced IBS D. I use Donnatal extend tabs an antispasmodic to calm my tummy. My D and anxiety are under control most of the time. Buspar is a very mild seditive that does NOT make your tired like antidepressants do. Buspar and Donnatal have given me my life back.Take Care,Robin---------------------------My Story http://www.ibsgroup.org/ubb/ultimatebb.php...c;f=17;t=000155


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## icyangelia (Jan 12, 2005)

Sometimes it is good for the guys to have a night to do their own thing. Sometimes they just need to get away. When my husband does his own thing, it usually makes our relationship stronger. He is probably feeling stress about your health situation and just wants to escape it for awhile. Men try to solve the problems of their loved ones. When they can't, they can feel helpless. I don't think you have anything to worry about.


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