# My Worse Fear Realized



## 1x2be (Jan 19, 2009)

Hello Everyone,I frequent this site but rarely comment however I had an episode yesterday that embarassed me to no end. Yesterday my worse fears were realized when I was driving into work with my daughter and I had the sudden urge to "go". I pulled off as quickly as possible, found a place to go to the bathroom and as I was trying to get my daughter out of her carseat I pooped my pants. I was so embarassed. I rushed inside the restaurant to clean up and had to call work to let them know I would be late because I had a new client coming in at 9:00. One of my worst fears is getting stuck in traffic and having the sudden and painful urge to go. I actually start to sweat profusely and have extreme anxiety if I am on the interstate and I see that traffic is coming to a stop. I haven't had painful episodes in a several months. I will get the sudden urge to go frequently but never to the point of pain and immediacy. I don't know what brought this episode on. To make matters worse I had a 4th degree episiotomy with the birth of my daughter a year ago which means my anal spincter isn't as strong as it used to be. I'm so ashamed. What would have happened if someone I knew was in the car? I would have been mortified. I am currently pregnant (due in July) and I am scared to death that the pregnancy is going to make the symptoms worse. Or worse yet, I'm going to have a horrible incident after he/she is born and I won't be able to get both my kids out of the car in time to make it to the bathroom. Obviously I couldn't do it with just the one. I have been taking 1 calcium pill a day for a few months but it doesn't seem to help. I'm scared to get in the car and on the Interstate but I have to. I have to go to work and that's the only way to get there. I don't know what I'm going to do.


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## BQ (May 22, 2000)

Hon .. First off ((((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))) I know that was horrible for you. But think about the fact that NO one WAS in the car besides your daughter. That work held the fort down for you til ya got there and it ended up ok in the end. In other words... focus on the positives. Keep your thinking as positive as possible. That will also help you when you see that traffic beginning to stop ... keep calm... think the positive thoughts...slow your breathing down and you will avoid the sweats and stress. It WILL take practice.. but it can be mastered.Manage that stress and you will have better luck maybe. Also think about devising a kit of sorts to help you in the car if need be. Some folks use a plastic bag lined bucket etc... pack some wipes.. paper towels, change of underwear or whathaveyou etc. You may never use it... but it may give you the peace of mind you are seeking. Also there is always wearing protection.... Again you may never actually use it or get caught short again... but the diapers may offer the peace of mind you seek.And..you may need more than *one* capsule a day of the calcium carbonate a day..... Ask your Ob/gyn if you can do "Linda's Calcium" regime. See that thread thumbtacked to the top of this forum. Read the instructions for taking it on the first page of that thread. Then give your GYN's office a call and ask if it is ok for you. Also ask about imodium use.... if it is ok at all during the pregnancy. I seem to recall that it is ok during some of the trimesters but not all maybe?? Ask to be sure though.


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## 1x2be (Jan 19, 2009)

BQ said:


> Hon .. First off ((((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))) I know that was horrible for you. But think about the fact that NO one WAS in the car besides your daughter. That work held the fort down for you til ya got there and it ended up ok in the end. In other words... focus on the positives. Keep your thinking as positive as possible. That will also help you when you see that traffic beginning to stop ... keep calm... think the positive thoughts...slow your breathing down and you will avoid the sweats and stress. It WILL take practice.. but it can be mastered.Manage that stress and you will have better luck maybe. Also think about devising a kit of sorts to help you in the car if need be. Some folks use a plastic bag lined bucket etc... pack some wipes.. paper towels, change of underwear or whathaveyou etc. You may never use it... but it may give you the peace of mind you are seeking. Also there is always wearing protection.... Again you may never actually use it or get caught short again... but the diapers may offer the peace of mind you seek.And..you may need more than *one* capsule a day of the calcium carbonate a day..... Ask your Ob/gyn if you can do "Linda's Calcium" regime. See that thread thumbtacked to the top of this forum. Read the instructions for taking it on the first page of that thread. Then give your GYN's office a call and ask if it is ok for you. Also ask about imodium use.... if it is ok at all during the pregnancy. I seem to recall that it is ok during some of the trimesters but not all maybe?? Ask to be sure though.


Thank you for replying back. I am trying my best to use techniques to stay calm during those traffic times and to focus on the positive of every situation. Before I got pregnant with my first child I used Welchol regularly that really helped stopped the pain, cramping and immediate urge to go to the bathroom. I stopped using them after my daughter was born because I seemed to be "cured" if you will. With this pregnancy it seems to be coming back so I am thinking of starting up taking them again. It helped before, maybe it will help again. At least it gave me peace of mind. That is priceless.


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## BQ (May 22, 2000)

So call the Dr and ask if the Welchol is ok during pregnancy! That could be just the thing for right now!Keep us posted on how you are doing!


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## RubberDuckie (Oct 30, 2011)

1x2be: I feel your pain and wish you and your soon to be bundle all the best. In regard to your 4th degree episiotomy, have you considered doing pelvic floor exercises. I've spoken to a gay guy I know who "recieves" and the exercises help him to keep his sphincter "tight". I know having a surgical incision and my example are a bit different but I still think the theorys sound. Just google or youtube pelvic floor execises. Hopefully it will give you some confidence too.


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## Lane CT (May 19, 2011)

I feel your pain... it happened to me, in a restaurant, trying to get to the bathroom last year. I'm thinking that possibly your hormonal changes with the pregnancy could be causing your IBS to accelerate right now. Mine went away after the birth of my daughter, but then two years ago it came back with a vengeance. I also used to feel that same anxiety about traffic spots, especially when I was the passenger (I suppose because I felt more "in control" as the driver than as the passenger). I do a lot of breathing exercises for that. But I gave up on worrying and went and bought myself a package of Depends. I suggest you do that, and wear them every morning on the drive into work. If anything, they may firstly help with your anxiety of being stuck in traffic, like a bit of an insurance policy. Secondly, in the event that you do need it, no one will be any the wiser and you can fix yourself up when you get to work. If it truly is an issue of muscle control because of the tearing, hopefully that can be fixed after the delivery of your new baby. I am sure there are anti-d medications that you can take OTC. When I was pregnant I couldn't take, say, Pepto Bismol but I could take Kaeopectate. I don't remember about Immodium. I'd ask your OB about both - the episiotomy issue and the medicines.Hang in there and remember, you aren't alone!! And it's like lightening - if you've pooped your pants once, it'll be a super long time if it happens again!


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## cgg951 (Nov 14, 2011)

1x2be said:


> Hello Everyone,I frequent this site but rarely comment however I had an episode yesterday that embarassed me to no end. Yesterday my worse fears were realized when I was driving into work with my daughter and I had the sudden urge to "go". I pulled off as quickly as possible, found a place to go to the bathroom and as I was trying to get my daughter out of her carseat I pooped my pants. I was so embarassed. I rushed inside the restaurant to clean up and had to call work to let them know I would be late because I had a new client coming in at 9:00. One of my worst fears is getting stuck in traffic and having the sudden and painful urge to go. I actually start to sweat profusely and have extreme anxiety if I am on the interstate and I see that traffic is coming to a stop. I haven't had painful episodes in a several months. I will get the sudden urge to go frequently but never to the point of pain and immediacy. I don't know what brought this episode on. To make matters worse I had a 4th degree episiotomy with the birth of my daughter a year ago which means my anal spincter isn't as strong as it used to be. I'm so ashamed. What would have happened if someone I knew was in the car? I would have been mortified. I am currently pregnant (due in July) and I am scared to death that the pregnancy is going to make the symptoms worse. Or worse yet, I'm going to have a horrible incident after he/she is born and I won't be able to get both my kids out of the car in time to make it to the bathroom. Obviously I couldn't do it with just the one. I have been taking 1 calcium pill a day for a few months but it doesn't seem to help. I'm scared to get in the car and on the Interstate but I have to. I have to go to work and that's the only way to get there. I don't know what I'm going to do.


I have worn Depends or products like that to help with the severe anxiety I get everytime I leave my house. I used to get so stressed out about when or where my next attack would happen that I had to do something and I found that the "peace of mind" was extremely helpful. I have been doing this for a very long time and the products they have now make it impossible to detect.


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