# trying to gain back weight, and fear of food



## grumbles (Dec 16, 2012)

*Long first time post, sorry...:*

Hey everyone, I'm new here. I'm 22 now and I've been having stomach problems my whole life but starting 5 years ago I started getting what was later diagnosed as 'IBS flares'.

Basically I'm in the middle of one now, and it's terrible. I was already very thin due to my super fast metabolism (5'3 and 97-100 pounds, 44-45kg) but I was happy with it, and now I'm at 95 pounds, 43kg in a little over 2 weeks and it actually makes a huge difference on my small frame and I really hate it.

It's hard for me to try and keep track of triggers because they honestly differ depending on the time. When my flare initially starts, I have pains throughout the entire day and I'm running to the bathroom about 5-6 times a day. After about a week and a bit I use the washroom way less and don't feel as horrible- I still get pains but they are usually restricted to after I eat whereas during the beginning of flares I don't even need to be eating to feel BM pain. When my flares are over I can basically eat anything and I'll be fine, I LOVE FOOD







. But during the flares I'm terrified of everything and everything can be a culprit depending on when I eat it.

Sometimes it takes several hours for my body to get used to eating when I wake up, and I'll have pains WHILE I'm chewing and swallowing my first meal (my breakfasts for the past 2 weeks have been things like a single egg or a banana) and then I'm running to the bathroom. Other times I wake up fine.

Later on in the day I feel much better, so I try to eat more (white rice is great, same with chicken, potatoes are okay, oatmeal) but the fear and pain I have in the first few hours makes me lose about half the calories I would regularly eat in a day. So basically I'm eating less and losing weight not because I don't want to eat (I get hungry at normal intervals and I have lots of cravings for different foods), but because I'm afraid to. Not to mention I can't eat too much in one sitting, even though I want to, because I'm scared it'll cause me indigestion (which I also suffer from) and give me chest/gas pains.

I'm wondering if anyone else here also fears food during flares and how they might cope with it- and if there are any ideas for high calorie breakfasts that aren't too heavy, I'd really appreciate it. Or any helpful tears- Is tea okay to have on an empty stomach?

I've been trying to drink Boost Calorie + with my breakfast and so far my stomach is 50/50 with it. I rarely ever have an appetite in the morning and I feel like that's when I need food most since I've just woken up and I'm groggy and light-headed- this will be me tomorrow seeing as I have a 7am shift I'm going to wake up at 5am to prepare my stomach for









I'm glad I found this forum and thanks again for taking the time to read and respond!


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## knothappy (Jul 31, 1999)

I am a lot older than you and have been fighting this awful disease for over 25 yrs, i have the same probem i am losing weight because i fear the diarreha as soon as i began to eat..lost weight because of this, friends have asked if i have cancer!! gad i must look awful..i also am trying to drink Ensure to help gain some weight. i cook for myself because i enjoy cooking, but after a few mouthfuls of food i feel nausea, fear, thinking about ibs and lose my appetite. hope some day we can be normal.


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