# Anxiety is ruining my life



## 20680 (Apr 8, 2006)

Was at a business related barbeque today, I could hardly sit still and just wanted to get away, I was so full of fear and felt so ill.This is the story of my life at present, I am on a low dose of citalopram, but it is making my anxiety much worse after helping briefly for a couple of weeks. I also take a low dose of diazepam, which only helps slightly.I had a CAT scan last week and swallowed barium and this seems to have irritated my IBS. I also have the results to get on Tuesday and I am very apprehensive.It just does not seem to be getting any better for me.


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## hope* (Aug 1, 2005)

Sorry your having such a rough time, i do know how your feeling, yesterday was the first day in 2 weeks i have been out because of a flare up, even then i couldnt wait to get home.I hope you start feeling better soon, and you have good news about your results, let us know how you get on.Good luck and take care


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## Guest (Jun 26, 2006)

Hampshie - I've probably asked you before but have you actually seen a psychiatrist? My GP is pretty OK but bless him, really doesn't have much of a clue - I've been on 30mg of mitrazapene for, oh, bout 5 months now and have been well on it for 3 - he was all for rushing me straight off but my psychiatrist who has been brill - has told him I MUST stay on it for at least a year - only saying this to illustrate that GP's arent nec. all that well qualifed re doses etc. If the citralopram worked for a while - maybe you need to up the dose? What dose are you on, you only say low, so I'm guessing 10mg or summat - you may need to be on about 30 or 40mg for it to be making any proper difference. I must stress I'm not a psychiatrist but, having suffered as you are doing (much the same anyway), I'm sure you need to get a referral to somebody who really knows what they are talking about.In the meantime, good luck with the CAT scan - what was that looking for?You take careSue


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## 20680 (Apr 8, 2006)

Thanks hope and suev, I am definately anxious about getting my results tomorrow. I was referred to the specialist by my GP, I think because I kept going back to the GP with anxiety and IBS symptoms, he just wants to make sure there is nothing going on. On the bright side, the specialist told me after a thorough physical on the initial appointment, that he was sure that nothing serious was going on. He said the CAT scan was to put my mind at rest, so hopefully it may be ok.With regard to the ADs, I have never been able to tolerate drugs of any description, or vitamins for that matter. I must have a sensitive system. You would not believe it, but I cannot even tolerate the 10mg dose and I have to cut the pills. My system does not cope and I cannot function. I cannot be off work any more than I have been already.I have not seen a psychiatrist, but I have just started seeing a bereavement councillor as my wife died earlier this year and dealing with this has obviously had a devastating effect. I know that this is not the same as a psychiatrist and I may well have to end up having to go down that route.Thanks againMatt


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## Guest (Jun 26, 2006)

God Hampshire - you have had a bugger of a year haven't you - and I thought mine was bad; 6 weeks in a mental hospital, death of our best man, suspension from work til Jan of next year, and a burglary - you've gorra laugh. Though losing a partner, you certainly have not got to laugh. Can I ask - was your wife's death through illness? Sorry, don't mean to pry and please don't talk about it if you don't want to, what I mean is, did you get any time to prepare? Not sure which is worse really, though our best man's widow felt that with Charlie's cancer at least they had 18 months to prepare for his death (all too young at 44). I hope your councillor is helping you and I hope and pray that that will be enough for you. You are suffering grief aren't you which is different, though I'm sure just as devastating as depression. Either Hampshire is NOT a picnic so I wish us all on this forum better mental health for the rest of 2006.Good luckSue xxxx


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## 20680 (Apr 8, 2006)

Thanks sue, my wife and I had been together for 42 years, (I am 59) she died very suddenly from a stroke. She collapsed and was taken to hospital one night and died the following evening. When she died we had already bought a new house and sold the one we were in, so that had also to continue, which was an added stress.I have 2 daughters, a son and 6 grandchildren. We are very close, but they are suffering also, so I suppose I should be talking more to people outwith the family.


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## hope* (Aug 1, 2005)

Hampshire, i am so sorry for your loss, my heart goes out to you and your family


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## Guest (Jun 27, 2006)

Oh god Hampshire - how horrendous - no wonder you are feeling as you are - would be perculiar if you weren't!!!My wonderful mum-in-law Dot had a stroke in 1988 - just after Paul and I were married, she was 69 (sounds like your wife was quite young) - she lived another 11 years, to see her 2 elder grandkids (never knew our little one Sophie), she was very disabled - had aphasia which she found very distressing and had mobility problems as well. She outlived my father-in-law by 3 years and unfortunately because of her disability had to go into a nursing home (I still feel dead guilty but by then she was doubly incontinent and with 2 young kids and a part-time job - just didn't feel I could cope).Thank goodness for your wonderful family, you lean on them!!Sue xxxx


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## 14643 (Jul 7, 2006)

Hey everyone, i am new to this, just had a look around and everyone seems very nice so thought i would say hello....so hello everyone!!







I was diagnosed with IBS two years ago (am now 23) whilst in university,which was followed by a breakdown and consequently i now suffer from panic attacks quite frequently. I managed to continue in university and just graduated which shocks me when i look back how hard it was for me to just get by. Two years on i have been in and out of the doctors mainly for anxiety which i never directly linked to IBS but looking back i can see how linked the two are. Generally i feel very lonely suffering with both things and am now a bit nervous about moving on to full time work. My family have serious problems so dont have much support from them...generally the doctors, my family and general attitude to my anxiety and IBS is shocking. I hardly talk about it because people make me feel dramatic..but there are days when i feel so crippled by anxiety i cant cope but so far i have done alone and have refused any medication (anti-d's)not that i think anything is wrong with taking them but i am not keen to use them myself. I still am trying to understand IBS and how much it does affect ones state of mind and general health but its reassuring thought obv. not a great consequence of IBS to know that anxiety is a consequence and not just me!







anyway turing into a rant more than anything, think i am having a low day!


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## Vamplady (May 10, 2003)

Hampshirebear,I know its not the same but I lost my mom at age 60 this past Nov. 2005. Two days after Thanksgiving.Let me just tell you my whole body has fallen apart since then. In fact my IBS-D has come back as well as anxiety attacks with a vegence since her death.I too am going to a grief councelor. If I could I would give you a big hug. This whole process of grief is tiresome. Please take care and realize your whole system is in shock and time will heal us. In fact I have decided I need something to get me through.I will see a doc on Monday. I need to pull my self together.Please take care!!! (((((hugs))))Vamplady


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## Guest (Jul 8, 2006)

Well all the very best to you too Vamplady - you are having a tough time as well and you have my deepest sympathy but I don't think you are suffering a mental illness, its surely quite normal and healthy to grieve for your mum and probably reasonably common to suffer physical symptoms as you decribe.I think you are doing absolutely the right thing in seeking some help however, the worst thing anyone can do is to battle on alone.You take care and keep in touch.Sue xxxx


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## 20680 (Apr 8, 2006)

I truly sympathise Vamplady, it is pure hell and it took me a while to accept what bereavement can do.I am still very reluctant to continue taking the ADs as they have a bad effect on me, although I think they helped slightly.The bereavement councelling has been very helpful and I intend to keep going for as long as it takes.


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