# My beginnings with IBS



## DaveJr512 (Mar 10, 2014)

Since developing IBS in September 2010, I don't think I've fully told my IBS origin story to anyone. Not my fiance, my family members or even my doctor. I'll try to keep it clean and not too long.

First some background info. I'm 28, was 25 at the time. Up until my first experience I had always had a relatively strong stomach and had no digestive issues whatsoever.

I work at a DoD contractor, and we built a system for a naval ship. While working on said ship I was down in a void that is only accessible via a hatch and ladder. I was alone and I was down there for about an hour. As I was gathering my tools and everything I started to feel like I had to go to the bathroom. Then, I really had to go. The pain worsened and with any control over myself I had a slight accident. Not a lot but enough that I had to remove my shorts. It didn't help that my jeans were light colored, and it was obvious that something had happened. While panicking about my accident the pain came back even worse than before, so I squatted down and just let it happen. I aimed for a hole in the floor that a pipe ran down into. When I was done I quickly removed my boots and pant and cleaned myself up as best I could with my already soiled boxers. Not knowing what to do with them I dropped them down into the hole the pipe ran into.

I put my pants and boots back on, and made my up the ladder and through the larger area of the ship, where my coworkers, several other contractors and multiple Navy personnel were. I walked right past, red with embarrassment and made way to the porta-johns a few hundred yards away at the other end of the pier. I cleaned up in there and texted a coworker that I wasn't feeling well and needed a ride back to the hotel. On the ride there he didn't seemed to notice anything wrong, or didn't say anything if he did. Regardless I was humiliated the entire time.

I assumed it was something I ate at lunch, it was the first time I had eaten the Chinese place in the cafeteria. Of course I know now that wasn't the case. I took some Pepto for a few days and ate carefully and lightly. It seemed to have subsided. I went back to eating normally and didn't have any issues. For about a month or so. Then ship had made a temporary move to post in another state. We followed to continue work and my stomach and bowel movements were "iffy" at best. I took Pepto again and tried not to worry about it. As any IBS sufferer knows that's practically impossible.

Walking up the pier one night to go to the ship(we were working nights) I was helping a guy carry some tool boxes and stuff on the way. He was from a branch that was based in another state so I didn't know him at all. As we're walking I felt it: the rumble. I knew what was coming and started to panic. Then it hit. I had to go then and there. I embarrassedly told him I needed to go and didn't know if I could make it to the ship. He took the stuff I was carrying and told me to chill out for minute to see if it passes. He continued on and as soon as he was far enough away I ducked into a vestibule that led into a machine shop off the pier. No one could see me in there and I squatted down and went on the ground, cleaned up with napkins from dinner and made my way to ship. I went into the bathroom to wash my hands. In there I looked at myself in the mirror and that's when the fear and anxiety came over me.

I made it through the rest of the trip without further incident. Although our last night there we went bar hopping and ended the night at a steakhouse, during dinner I had to excuse myself 6 times in an hour and a half. After that I traveled one more time. The fear and anxiety of an accident was so great I told the people was with(other guys from the out of state office) that I didn't feel well and needed to go back to the hotel. I changed my flight came right home and haven't traveled since. I lied and told my family members that I had another accident. I was too ashamed that the fear of having an accident was too much for me to handle.

I fell into bad depression for awhile(and occasionally fall still), it affected my job and I had to leave the department I was in for another project that is only worked on in house. I haven't had an accident since that night on the pier, I've had close calls but never had that uncontrollable urge come on right away. With the help of Imodium I've been able to go to the movies or walk around the mall. I don't take it regularly but when I want to feel like a normal person for awhile it certainly helps. I don't know if I'm just used to it now or if it's not as bad as it was for the first year but I'm able to function enough to get by. Certain foods and lack of sleep make it worsen so I try to keep a handle on that.

Well that's my story. It's much longer than I anticipated and I truly appreciate anybody taking the time to read or even skim it. Just getting it out of my head really helps. Thanks again everyone.


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