# whats it all about?



## 17176 (Mar 31, 2005)

What exactly is life all about? I mean ibs,manic depression when you think hey there might just be a light at the end of the tunnel, reality thumps you on the head and there you are right back at square one.. I ofter ask myself did i ever really get off square one?Sorry for the rant i know this site IS for questions on ibs, but does ibs just add to your problems, i have put up with this #### since i was 11 yrs old, life just never seems to get any better, i thought it did, maybe i was kidding myself.. apologies in advance for being a stupid so and so.


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## 22770 (Aug 18, 2005)

Don't appologise. My mum's theory, you can go to heaven, but you can't go to hell. We are already there. She's a cheery soul!!







I don't know what it's about Joolie, but i do know that there is a lot of sh**. I also know that without experiencing the bad, we could never appriciate the good. It all has to be for something, or the person "in charge" is gonna have a lot of questions to answer, and probably torture to endure!!Maybe read a book on Buddhism, it really has some good advice for when you feel like this.Lisa


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## peardrops (Jan 3, 2004)

I agree with your Mum Lisa, I've always said that it can feel like we are living in hell sometimes. Mind you, if we didn't get the downs then maybe we wouldn't appreciate the ups


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## 17176 (Mar 31, 2005)

my theory is i no longer fear hell as ive lived there


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## 16841 (Sep 20, 2005)

Hi Joolie:I can't give you any real advice about depression, I've never suffered with it (other than tiny periods here and there, but nothing like what you have dealt with). Although, I do know that you can't mess with meds when you're depressed. My mil is and she always goes off for some reason or another (she's feeling better, they aren't doing anything, etc.) and it always just exacerbates the problem. From everything I've read...there is a lot of experimentation that people with depression must do regarding med's or natural supplementation or whatever they find works, but there are certain cocktails that do work well for periods of time. But, because our body chemistry is always changing the dosages and/or meds have to change as well. So, armed with a good doctor you can find what works best for you and then adjust them as needed. Like I said in the other post Joolie, you are important to an awful lot of people....please don't let this disease win. You can fight and you can win, I see it in your words all the time.







Have you ever visited the healingwell.com boards? There are some great forums there for depression. Because of my sil, I have read a lot there and learned so much. Like IBS/IBD, it's just nice to be able to share with people who really understand and feel your pain.Obviously, you know you have many friends here who don't want to see you suffer and are always here for you, just like you are for everybody else. Stay determined, you CAN do this!!







Sandi~


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## 17176 (Mar 31, 2005)

thanks for the reply sandi i will deffo go on to the site you mentioned thanks a lot for that..My faith in the medical profession has been severely dented over the years, i feel let down by them through mental health probs i was given no real advice, and had to go and find out where the professionals were in my area and arrange councelling sessions with them..I feel very bitter and angry in the lack of treatment i have been given by various docs over the years, in many ways some do try and empathise but i guess they have more patients than me to deal with..Others just dish out pills willy nilly, and i can see hoe some peeps get totally dependant on meds, its a no win situ..thanks lisa and pear for responding as ever you both talk a lot of sense, appreciated.


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## peardrops (Jan 3, 2004)

If I had brains I'd be dangerous


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## 17176 (Mar 31, 2005)

dont put yourself down pear, im the only one on here who puts herself down.. you are always kind and v helpful


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## cookies4marilyn (Jun 30, 2000)

Hi Joolie - I have thought about that myself - but you know, you are someone who always is kind and greets every newbie here (like I used to do 5 years or so ago for a few years before I had my time restrictions!) and all your suffering and experiences are being put to good by your greetings and your empathy for others!And, your unique and funny side - you always put a smile on my face, with your clever posts, witty ways, etc. So perhaps, even tho your suffering is something no one wants to have, you have brought about good with it... My sis is a psychologist and she says so many in her profession glom onto any old thing so they can slap a label on people and treat them like an assembly line. She gets herself into lots of trouble because she takes each case and doesnt try to pigeon hole their treatment. she and I feel much the same as you do sometimes - it can be discouraging. But there are good ones (docs) out there too...Thanks for sharing your caring side with all the people here - and always being there for the newbies - you are a delight!







(((HUGS ))) to you - you are a kind and sweet soul!


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## Screamer (Aug 16, 2005)

Hi Joolie! Yep, I so understand that you are not afraid of hell, me either, I've been there for years. If something can go wrong for me, it does, I never get a break on anything and I've had IBS on top of it all my whole life







Another great place with lot's of caring people is http://www.depressionet.com.au. They have active bulletin boards, places to vent frustration, places for what helps etc and also a chat room (and no it's not just us Aussie's on there







) I hope you are feeling a little happier soon. I know how bad those down spirals can be. Hang in there (((hugs)))).


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## cookies4marilyn (Jun 30, 2000)

Hi Screamer - we were posting at the same time!!!Just about to give a call to another BB member - take care.







~ Marilyn


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## 17176 (Mar 31, 2005)

Thanks marilyn ill be getting into trouble for there posts which may look to some (not all) are very insignificant, we are human and i find it hard not to express my feelings, although it depends on the circumstances....Also thankyou screamer, you know on here we are all strangers (ok we can all talk back and forth on here) but we have not met each other face to face, but there are quite a few peeps on here who i feel i do know, if you get my drift...What i mean to say is someone can say something that touches my







Take my partner if i try to talk to him he kinda clams up and wont talk about emotional probs, to be honest some days he wont talk at all, and i say to him (before i can see things getting outs control) please listen before one of us dies, waste of time, things remain the same...I have a knack of putting my depression to good use (you's might not agree) i try to hide behind wit, maybe thats the side i want peeps to see of me, infact if they saw the real me, it would tell a completely different story, dark clouds everywhere.... sorry for ranting on again, i find it helps me keep what little bit of sanity i have left.


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## Screamer (Aug 16, 2005)

I have quite a few email friends I've met on boards on the net and to me they care no less and are just as much friends of mine as people who live right near me so I know where you're coming from. I too try to hide any depression behind wit with DH and with friends and family. I think the whole men clamming up thing is a male trait. Mine's exactly the same, very frustrating. He clams up then gets the poops and I never have a clue what's going on in his head! Rant away if you need to! We all need to rant to someone and if someone is listening it makes it a whole lot better


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## overitnow (Nov 25, 2001)

At the age of 60 I still don't think I have come up with an answer that would apply to all of us. I think it is a lot like a couloring book that hasn't been started. You are free to use the normal colours, stay between the lines, or go wild and freeform. It is your picture. If it is not coming out like you originally pictured it, sometimes it is best to turn the page and start another one. I don't want to stretch this metaphor beyond it's usefulness; but sometimes we do proceed down long, dead ended alleys. I spent way too many years in the food service industry and it made me a desparate and unhappy individual, as my example. Whether it was a clinical depression or just a financial one, it had devestating effects upon my marriage and my family. Things did not really start to change for me until I decided they must, and did something about it. My health has been challenged for years; and I have certainly posted enough about my successes later in life in turning that around, as well. I cannot compare depression or despair with you. I can only say that I suffered for years from a failure to take control of my emotions and my bad habits. I am sure there is a path for you, too; but it does await your decision to follow it.{{{HUGS}}}Mark


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## 17176 (Mar 31, 2005)

you talk a lot of sense mark,you know i honestly feel depression is an awful illness and to be honest i would not wish it on anyone, i often wonder is depression curable? i think not,but then again im sure there is someone who will prove me wrong...Give me ibs anyday, as compared to depression ibs is a doddle..of course i am talking from my own prospective


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## 17176 (Mar 31, 2005)

You talk a lot of sense mark & thanks for replying.. You know i feel ibs is a doddle compared to depression, but im talking from my own prospective.Next birthday ill be 44 yrs old (although i know i dont look it) i will have been battling depression for over 30+ yrs..I gave someone advice before they said they were so close to suicide i can relate to that so much (please dont reply saying dont do it) ive often said on here i AM a survivor, but am i fighting a losing battle?


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## 17176 (Mar 31, 2005)

sorry for posting this twice, i thought id lost the 1st one, so posted another one......apologies for wasting space


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## 16841 (Sep 20, 2005)

Hey Joolie:I can't stop thinking about you.







It must be almost impossible to stay motivated to find a doctor that can help you with this, while you're dealing with this horrible depression and having dealt with the moron doctors you have in the past...but, Joolie -- you can find one that will help you. I stayed up reading the bi-polar and depression forums last night on that healingwell.com BB and so many of them have the same symptoms you do (hopelessness, horrible dreams, constant worrying, etc.) and almost all of them have been right where you are (distrusting of doctors and just sick of the whole mess, *which is so understandable*). However, once they found the right doctor and got the proper meds, they have found the light at the end of that long, dark tunnel.I'm hoping that if you log on there, you may even find someone from your area who could recommend one. None of this is your fault, you have a chemical imbalance that you can't control on your own and it seems like the change of seasons is a huge contributor to triggering episodes in people who suffer with depression (sorry if I'm not using the proper terminology).I am sending good motivating thoughts and prayers your way.







Sandi~


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## 18548 (Apr 10, 2005)

hey joolie. sorry you're feeling so down. Life sucks sometimes huh? but you really are a valued memeber of this board, you're so lovely and you always manage to make me smile. Stick with it and keep looking for a decent dr. i know that sounds impossible-decent dr!!! lol do they exist?!? teehee but they do and you'll find onehope you feel better soonhugs


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## 17176 (Mar 31, 2005)

thanks sandi and thanks for taking the time to answer me back...I had to go to the docs earlier on as i was having this damned heartburn she said you need a total change of lifestyle, i.e quitting smoking, lose a bit of weight







she weighed me and by the looks of the scales i do need to lose weight, hell whats new there? tell me summing i dont know







My blood pressure was slightly up but nothing drastic, i need to stop getting stressed ha! does the tooth fairy exist? thats like saying to me julie hollywood is calling you







aye for freddy krugers double







Lastly ill quickly add (before the moderators are on my back about insignificant posts)







i saw this doctor pole who i must add seemed ok said and i quote i really admire your stamina and strength upon which i know my face was like a slapped arse ( a scottish saying) she said i feel for a very long time you have been very badly letdown how many times have i heard this before? Never! my med file is like al capones criminal record file..... again thanks sandi for making me feeling a wee bit like smiling...


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## Guest (Oct 31, 2005)

Joolie - so sorry life is being a total **** to you right now. I've had depression in my mid-20's for about 18 months and it is a living hell - can totally relate to that one and yes, I think you are right - what a dodgey **** or two between friends, compared to the draining awfulness of depression!!I don't think I've got anything else useful to add - I think Mark has summed it up very eloquently but I'm thinking about you loads. I know with your wicked sence of humour you will soon have better days. I think thats the key isn't it. Sounds hideously corny - but I geniunely do relish the good days and the dead simple things in life (Yes, even having a decent #### can count!!).You take careSue xx


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## eric (Jul 8, 1999)

FYISeven Secrets of a Joyful Life Wayne Dyer's feel-good guideBy Glenn Paskinhttp://www.drwaynedyer.com/articles/art11.cfmHow To Make Your Dreams Come Truehttp://www.drwaynedyer.com/articles/art4.cfmEnthusiasmhttp://www.drwaynedyer.com/articles/art3.cfm


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## eric (Jul 8, 1999)

What is the chemical that makes your brain feel relaxed?Its involved in IBS and moods, depression and anxiety.Investigating the Mind, the Dalai Lama at MIT"Western psychology is far behind the Buddhists, in my view. Yet there were some interesting research findings discussed at the conference. My favorite psychologist was Richard Davidson from the University of Wisconsin. Working with senior monks, he finds their minds function very differently from those of non-meditators. For example he has used PET scans and MRIs to demonstrate that in experienced meditators the brain areas associated with joy and pleasure are dramatically more active than in non-meditators. He is also carrying out studies that show that short periods of non-religious mediation carried out by beginners over a few months have significantly positive effects on both brain and immune system function. "http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/jim/discuss/m...y=2005&m=6&d=19


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## 16841 (Sep 20, 2005)

So Joolie, are you going back to see that doctor??? Please say yes!!!







I think that all these other issues will fall into place (quitting smoking, losing weight, etc.,) when you start feeling better about yourself mentally. It's such a vicious cycle, isn't it? Please don't give up on yourself...and we're all here for you.







Sandi~


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## 17176 (Mar 31, 2005)

Sue as always you are a real good mate on here







eric xx thanks for being helpful by adding links...sandi yes ill go back and see her as she was great..Also im going to see the minister as there really is some questions i need to ask him.. thanks all. appreciated as usual xx


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## 17176 (Mar 31, 2005)

hi there heth, hows it going? hope you are getting on ok ### uni. stick in you'll get there. good to see you back on here


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## Screamer (Aug 16, 2005)

Hey Joolie, just had to poke my head in and say we're all here for you (but you already know that!). No more advice, you already have enough great advice on this thread but hang in there. As my mum likes to say, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, it's just that sometimes it feels like the light is an oncoming train!


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## 17176 (Mar 31, 2005)

danke screamer







appreciated


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## kitkat17 Lady of the Loo (Jul 21, 2005)

joolie, I am SO SO SORRY to hear you are down. Good, friendly, great, funny, happy people like you have bads times to I know but if it helps I love reading your posts and you replys. You crack me up.So you TAKE CARE of yourself. Keep your chin up, and as my mom used to always sing SMILE


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## 17176 (Mar 31, 2005)

thanks kk







im glad i make some peeps happy


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## Guest (Nov 1, 2005)

Jools - hope you are feeling brighter today - I'm curious where is this mystery piccie of Screamer - do you mean the cat or there really a piccie of her?Sue


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## eric (Jul 8, 1999)

joolie< I hope you are getting help for this, because it will help.This is goodDepression is treatable.A lot of times a person might need help to get out of it though. Depression can cloud a persons thinking and drain them from having the strenght to work it out. MENTAL MECHANICS: A BEGINNERS REPAIR MANUALÂ© Chapter 1KNOWLEDGEhttp://www.mental-mechanics.org/ch1.htm


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## 17176 (Mar 31, 2005)

thanks sue and eric, life is but a funny thing i got up this morning feeling on top of the world, sore head gone! sore back gone! sore a** gone! went shopping with J and had to pig out on a walnut slice ohmigod am i paying for it now







Seriously today i feel great guess its cos me and J had a good talk in bed last night, well at 4am as we watched raw until then...I am better than expressing my feelings than he is, whatever i said had an impact hope it keeps up..


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## 17176 (Mar 31, 2005)

i meant the pic of screamer sue...


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## Guest (Nov 1, 2005)

Right - got it now Jools - you mean on that weblink Jeff posted. There's now a hideous one of me and the kids and the womble (well, the kids and the womble look OK).Its fascinating to see what everyone looks like - Very nice piccie of Screamer but different to what I expected - strange how you build a mental image isn't it. That's why I can't watch the Harry Potter films.Sue


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## 17176 (Mar 31, 2005)

i cant seem to work it at all sue


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## Guest (Nov 1, 2005)

What - shoving on your piccie? Hmm what the hell did I do? Think I right clicked and somehow an old file popped up which eventually found its way onto that thread - not very scientific was it?Sue


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## 17176 (Mar 31, 2005)

i have tried to get on and it is refusing to do what i want it to do







i wish my angie was here as she would be able to do it for me, thats if i can tear her away from green day (the group)


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