# Anxiety is ruining my life.



## doloresrdz (Apr 4, 2017)

Anxiety is ruining my life. I suffer from IBS-D, it has been so difficult for me to live a normal life. I won't bore you with the details I just need help or advise on what to do with my current situation. I've been taking amitriptyline for almost a year now, first I started with 25mg and now the doctor prescribed 10mg. I honestly think it does nothing for me but I continue having it just in case. My biggest problem is my anxiety. Everyday I wake up with upset stomach, and diarrhea. I start work at 9am but I have to wake up everyday at 5am to give my stomach time to feel better. I'm afraid to go outside.

There has been instances where I just can help but shit myself on the street. I take the subway everyday, just imagine, those are the worst 30 minutes of my life. I get so much anxiety, I'm so afraid to shit my self in there all the time. I know a lot is in my head but it's so hard to control this anxiety.

I have a fiance and is so hard for him too. He wants to go out on the weekends but I don't want to, I'm too afraid. I don't eat at restaurants anymore, why risk it? If I know I have to go out somewhere I do not eat anything at all.

We are getting married next year, and one of my greatest fears is that! How am I going to just stand in front of everybody I know in a white dress! Normally brides get nervous for their wedding but this is extreme I'm not nervous I'm getting married I'm nervous I'm going to shit myself in front of everybody I know and love.

This is no life, I cannot succeed at my job. I'm part of the film industry and right now I'm working at a Film school because working in the film industry means working 16 hour days out in a remote location sometimes, you can work anywhere. One day you are in a studio the next you are in the forest.

I always need to know if there is a washroom anywhere I know and where is it. I'm honestly so tired of this, I've been sick for 10 years now. I feel so depressed, I sometimes want to die but my fiance has been amazing supporting me and loving me. Sometimes I feel is not fair for him to be with me, he deserves a healthy person, a better woman.

I honestly don't know what to do anymore. Please help me, advise me. You if you are in the same circumstances, it would help to know I'm not alone.

Thank you for reading this.


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## Rboe (Mar 26, 2017)

I have been where you are with the high anxiety and such. Some things to try...

There are diets that have had success for people. Research them and try them out. There is a good chance one will help. Low FODMAP is a popular one to start with. Give it a few weeks before determining if it works. When I tried it, it helped my symptoms for a little while but then they came back,

The Candida diet with anti-fungals is another good one. This one is a harder one to start. If it works, then you will actually feel worse for a little bit-this is called die-off. However, once the die-off subsides, you feel better. I did this diet with some anti-fungals under the supervision of a naturopath. It helped my symptoms 60-70%. I still avoid all sugars and fruits but have hope that I will be able to eat them soon.

The next thing I tried is the SCD diet. I am only about 7 weeks in. However, in those 7 weeks, 6 of those weeks I have had almost no symptoms! I still have issues occasionally in the morning but I believe it is because I am adding too many foods to my diet. I need to go slowly. Right now I am eating only meats and a handful of vegetables but I have great hope that I will be able to add more foods in. I joined a Facebook support board and many people there had to start slow like me but then were able to add more foods in. At this point, it is worth eating only a few foods because I feel more comfortable leaving my house.

Yes, anxiety can trigger IBS but it is not the cause of it for most people. Frankly, I get tired of hearing "reduce your stress." I have been through periods with minimal stress and still had bad IBS issues. I do know though that I can cause more issues when I dwell on my IBS. A good counselor can help you cope with the stress. They can give you tools to help.


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## Dutch3ss (Apr 7, 2017)

I am so sorry you feel like this. I know what it is to have anxiety and IBS-D. Talk to your doctor about a treatment plan! IBS-D and anxiety can go together, but there is always the question of chicken and the egg, who was first?

There are many professionals out there that can help you with your anxiety. Psychotherapists, counselors, massage therapy. They can teach you tools how to cope with your anxiety. From meditation and breathing exercises, to cognitive behavioral therapy. Try to find someone you feel comfortable with. My counselor is specialized in the relation between body, mind and nervous system and she is also a yoga teacher. She is teaching me exercises to be more present, to stop ruminating, but also some yoga poses that help relax the mind and the body.

Just started on 10 mg amitrityline, so I dont have much info for you yet regarding that. The first few days were wonderful, but then the IBS-D came back. Meeting GI next week to up the dose.

Good luck!


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## mb83 (Feb 18, 2014)

I have anxiety and IBS-D too which makes living a normal life a lot more complicated, but not impossible!

My flareups are almost always in the morning. Sometimes I'll have to go three or four times in the first hour I'm up. I hate taking prescription meds for anything. Docs had given me Librax and Bentyl, both of which made me feel like crap all the time and did nothing to help my IBS. The one thing that has been a godsend is Imodium. On bad mornings, I'll take one once I feel like I might be done going #2 before I start on my 40 minute commute. It puts the brakes on everything going on down there and I usually then go a full day without having a BM. I know some people who have to take more than one Imodium. The only side effect I've ever experienced is the need to pee frequently for a few hours, but not sure if that is common with everyone.

Stressful jobs definitely play a role. I firmly believe my last job was the cause of my IBS. I was the executive assistant to the president of a nonprofit corporation. My life was very much like The Devil Wears Prada, without the fabulous clothes. Lots of overtime, skipped meals, extreme stress, anxiety and depression. The same time I was diagnosed I also had a colonoscopy to remove a polyp (which I named Peggy after my evil boss.) I decided to quit that job and have since found one that is practically stress free by comparison. I'm sure you will be able to get to a point where you can control your symptoms and find a job you love!

As for going out, I totally feel your pain. For the first couple years after my diagnosis, I avoided as many social gatherings as possible because I was afraid I'd have a bathroom emergency and that fear would make my anxiety go through the roof. I used to be big into the local music scene but I stopped going to concerts out of fear of not feeling well. I felt like a jerk to my friends since I was always canceling on them or making excuses why I couldn't hang out. But again the Imodium has allowed me to have a life. If there is a party or an event and I really want to go, I take an Imodium before I leave the house and I feel confident that I will be able to get through it and with luck have some fun. The best way I've found to conquer my anxiety is to do the things that scare me. Eventually they won't scare you anymore!

As for your future wedding, congratulations! I totally understand your fears about it. Again, Imodium might be the answer! Personally I loathe the idea of having a big wedding, I hate being the center of attention. When I get married it's going to be a very small quick ceremony with just immediate family, then maybe a casual party with friends later. Is that something you and your fiance would be interested in?

Remember, you're not alone!


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## APR (Jul 15, 2015)

I can't say that I've gone through anything that severe, but I can definitely understand. Between pain and bathroom issues, there have been times when I've been late or had to call off something planned.

I foster dogs and cats, and am involved in animal rescue, and there have been 1-2 occasions where I had to call off a meeting with a potential adopter at the last minute. I'm certainly not saying that's equivalent to what you're going through, but I did feel guilty and embarrassed having to call people I hardly know and explain that I'm sick with ibs issues to where I can't meet them that day.

Perhaps the most frustrating incident was where I couldn't go to a large adoption event that is only held once a year, because of gut pain, nausea and vomiting. That might not sounds like a big deal, but I had a few very difficult to adopt dogs where this was likely the one chance in a year that they would have a good chance of being adopted. I felt up to going later, but by then the show was more than halfway through.

In numerous other cases, I have been late because of bathroom issues. My ibs issues are not as severe as they were when the worst of these incidents happened. Hopefully, you'll get to a point where your ibs is at least a little more under control--please don't give up hope.

I know that none of the above is the same as worrying about having an accident where you don't have access to a bathroom, but I can at least relate--and I know that many others are going through similar issues to yours and understand what you're going through.


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## ccoleman (Apr 10, 2017)

If you suffer from Anxiety Disorder I strongly recommend you to find the therapist who fully understand the nature of this problem and who will encourage you to begin your new / old life ASAP!


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## cheddacat (Apr 18, 2017)

I have been a total advocate of psychologists and behavior training for decades. I use professional counseling and workbooks. However, that said, over the years, the expense of therapists has added to financial worries and hence anxieties. So for that reason, years ago, I asked my GP doctor for anti-anxiety meds. Hydroxyzine for light anxiety and Xanax for more heavy panic. Even if I'm afraid that an IBS episode won't stop or I'll have diarrhea or other problems that others may notice, when I take a pill for whatever reason, I feel more able to cope with what might happen. Sometimes just having the pills with me gets me through a particularly difficult day and I don't even take them.


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## glockola (Apr 16, 2017)

Get some benzos, ativan, klonopin or even xanax. That would nip any anxiety in the butt. You can't use them everyday, but safe to take from time to time on your worst days.


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## bennypee33 (Apr 4, 2017)

I think adult diapers might be a good temporary solution for the accidents you are having. I looked up a few reviews of adult diapers and this one: https://wellnessbriefs.com/products/superio-signature-brief seems like one of the best. Also you might want to think about using an enema or douche before you go outside to help you get rid of the feces that is already in your colon. Another option could be for you to try eating steel cut instant oatmeal which may add some bulk to your stools. Also Lexapro is another anti-anxiety drug that your doctor could try prescribing. Are there any dietary changes that help you?


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## hchap1004 (Apr 21, 2017)

Have you tried Heather's Acacia Senegal Tummy Fiber? I am new to IBSD and have tried several things, to no avail, but this product may actually help. You can find it on Amazon. If you can stop the diarrhea, you will also stop the anxiety. It's kind of a vicious cycle.


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## JT96 (Mar 16, 2016)

Dolores,

I can certainly relate. I've #### myself on the street, in the car, while exercising and pretty much anywhere else I've been. I know how awful that is. I have anxiety/depression/panic disorder as well which gets much worse when I'm having IBS issues. It was always very easy for me to get trapped in a negative cycle before getting treatment for my mental health. My anxiety would lead to needing a bathroom. Needing a bathroom triggered anxiety. Accidents made it even worse, and for a good while I pretty much shut myself in. I'm still doing trial/error with meds, diets, supplements etc, and have some good days and bad days. I have resorted to wearing diapers if I'm in a situation there won't be a bathroom available possibly. I hate it, and it's not really a great solution but it helps by keeping #### from ruining your clothes and gives you time to escape a situation. You're certainly not alone in this struggle.


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## Momatude (Jun 2, 2016)

have been so many places with that urgency and have just barely made it or ruined my underwear and had to leave. One of the things that's helped me (but might not work exactly the same for your commute)...I bought one of those small portable invalid toilets for the car. It's a small plastic bin with a plastic toilet seat-shaped lid on it. I have a "go" bag that includes a large towel, wipes, plastic bags, toilet paper and one of those female- urination jugs with a handle and a vag-shaped scoop top. If I had to, I would pull over, drape the towel and go.

Since I put this in the car I haven't had one issue with anxiety of driving and no where to go. I also have adult diapers in there, Febreeze spray and that Poo Poo Potpourii that is so popular now ( & has helped me with the anxiety of having BMs in public restrooms.)

I think that your commute might benefit from a heavy duty adult diaper ( two or three if you are really worried) Just the act of having it on might help the anxiety. I started with the "go bag" after I realized I hadn't had a surprise panic attack since I started carrying my script for Ativan everywhere with me. I do have attacks when I am facing a scary health issue for me or my kids...by nothing like before when they struck out of the blue. Just knowing I was in control ( with my meds or my potty) changed the dynamic and put me in charge of that component of my anxiety and IBS.

Good Luck

p.s. Just so you know I've never had to use the car potty or the adult diaper. The empowerment of taking control...and the new adult diapers for women are not that thick. You could do a couple at a time!!


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## Lyssa_25 (Feb 7, 2017)

This is exactly how i feel every single day and i know how frustrating it is! My boyfriend always wants to go out and do things and i feel fine until we're about to actually go out, the anxiety sets in. We went on a cruise and i booked snorkeling for us, i couldn't go. i had so much anxiety, what if i had to go to the bathroom? it is a constant thought in my mind that has ruined my life. I am on lexapro which does help a little but i still have IBS-D attacks every week so my anxiety about the bathroom is still there.


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## JUDY A (Feb 2, 2008)

I've just returned to this board after being away for many years...joined in 1998 when I got the IBS_D.

Unfortunatley I am still seeing the same symptoms being written abuot that I was reading about 20 years ago!

You didn't say if you take anything for your IBS-D.

When I finally broke down & started taking Immodium I started to get my life back & it was as bad as yours...& also reduced the anxiety..which is always with me anyway but either better or worse depending on what is going on with my gut.

There is no way I could have controlled this D with "natural" means..tried those, didn't work.

I went thru the same anxiety about social situations as you are having..& still do when it flares up as is has now for 6 months...that's why I'm back here1

Immodium is the only thing..that & Bentyl..that has given me any help with the issues & lets me get out fo the house & have a half way normal life.


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