# Anxiety - I need to unload



## Tummy Trouble TB (Nov 10, 2001)

Hi everyone,I'm new to this part of the BB. I've never posted here before. This will be a long post, but here goes:My problem is anxiety. I can't seem to get rid of it - it follows me wherever I go. It's not caused by IBS, since mine is mostly limited to just stomach pains and nausea, with occassional D or C. My anxiety comes in part from me being high strung naturally and having a strong family history of it. (There are several family members on my mom's side including my mom who have suffered with it.) Just recently I've begun experiencing panic attacks, which are totally new to me.Every day there is something new it seems. I feel shaky or woozy, find a lump in my knee, feel extra tired, have a persistent tickle in my throat, stomach aches, back aches, you name it. I've been to the doctor many times and all of my problems have turned out to be nothing. I think I'm a hypochondriac in a lot of ways.I was taking Prozac for depression, but it made the anxiety worse. I'd like to try either Effexor or Paxil, both of which were OKd by my doctor, but I'm afraid they will make me fat. I am thin right now and have a decent metabolism and I don't want that to change if I can help it. I can't seem to figure out if the SSRIs themselves cause weight gain, or if they make the individual crave foods that cause them to put on weight. I know exercise and socializing is good for nerve troubles, but that is my other problem. I have never been a particularly motivated individual, but whatever motivation I did have has completely gone down the toilet in the last 6 months. Every day I just want to stay in my room and read or lay on my bed. I manage to clean the house and do errands, but they are difficult for me, as ridiculous as it sounds. We just moved to a new apartment, and just making phone calls to various places notifying them of our new address is a monumental task for me. I can hardly motivate myself to do it. I find myself thinking about how nice it would be to go to bed at 4 in the afternoon!My mom always says I'd be better off working (I quit my job in February to stay home for awhile), but I enjoy being home. I was an administrative assistant and although I always hated being an AA, towards the end of my time I barely managed to make it to work. I'd constantly have thoughts like, "I'd rather just die in my bed than face another day there..." and my boss wasn't even bad! In fact, she was a great lady. At least staying home, I'm not having those kinds of really morbid thoughts. All I wanted was to become a housewife, anyway. I don't know if that's because I'm unmotivated or just a homebody, but I do enjoy just being responsible for keeping a clean house, paying bills, and running any errands that need to be done. It's a simpler kind of life. I do work occassionally on my secretarial skills, too, in the event I need to go back to work.I also can't stand to socialize much. People have called me for lunch dates, or my family wants me to call them/come over to see them, and I always try to put them off or just ignore them altogether. I think the anxiety causes me not to want to socialize, because this too has gotten much worse in the last few months.Eating is difficult, too. The only thing I want to eat is sugar. Everything else I have to force down. I only like candies and sweets, and I have to control myself and try to ensure I'm eating somewhat healthily. It's like I'm undisciplined in every aspect of my being, and as much as I want to get better, I don't have the energy to do it.I've seen 5 therapists, none of which has done anything for me.Sorry if I sound like a sad sack, whiny Eeyore, but I wanted to put this down in writing and see if anyone else experiences these kinds of feelings. Thanks for listening...


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## BQ (May 22, 2000)

TT Keep seeking a good therapist. It may take a few test drives to find the right one. When I went to a therapist I had a goal in mind and expected to work harder than I ever had worked on myself. Yep, this entailed brutal honesty and a willingness to change my thinking. I accomplished quite a bit in a short time, I think because I was goal oriented and motivated. I saw her for about 7 months, weekly. Good ones are hard to find, but man once I was finished I felt much more empowered and confident.Good Luck with this.BQ


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## linda2001 (Apr 14, 2001)

TT, just wanted to say hang in there, sorry this is brief I'm on my way to work.Post here anytime you want, you don't sound like a sad sack, whiny Eeyore! I know sometimes it helps me put things down in writing.Take careLinda


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## eric (Jul 8, 1999)

Tummy troubles, welcome to this forum.Depression anxiety and all that goes with it is a downward spiral, the more it becomes entrenched the deeper it gets and the more it effects us in many ways and forms including our thinking and it does not sound like you are really happy at the moment obviously.A big part of this also is the willingness to recognize things aren't right and then work to make them better through change. But, our minds don't really like change, the brain thinks its happy without change, even though when we change we are happier usally, but the brain fears change generally.Its also a lot harder to change when your tired and depressed and don't have the energy because the feeling are draining all your energy levels. This contributes to the downward spiral. The more you also learn what anxiety and dpression and stressors are the easier they are to understand and deal with, this is a big part of helping yourself, empowering yourself with knowledge, which in turn can help give you answers, if nothing else to be able to understand the problems more fully.This also effects your IBS substantially!! And that also helps trigger symptoms and propel you in a downward spiral.But lets see here"I was taking Prozac for depression, but it made the anxiety worse. I'd like to try either Effexor or Paxil, both of which were OKd by my doctor, but I'm afraid they will make me fat. I am thin right now and have a decent metabolism and I don't want that to change if I can help it. I can't seem to figure out if the SSRIs themselves cause weight gain, or if they make the individual crave foods that cause them to put on weight. "You should try one of these and see if it helps. They are different for every single person and you won't know how it effects your metabolism until you try one and there is a good chance it might not. Plus are you willing to suffer all your suffering for weight loss? I don't think its a good trade off.When you start feeling better you might start eating better and have more energy and get out and excersise and feel much more nromal when its all better under control. The more normal you are the more you start feeling normal and the more positive and clearer your thoughts become."I know exercise and socializing is good for nerve troubles, but that is my other problem. I have never been a particularly motivated individual, but whatever motivation I did have has completely gone down the toilet in the last 6 months. Every day I just want to stay in my room and read or lay on my bed. I manage to clean the house and do errands, but they are difficult for me, as ridiculous as it sounds. We just moved to a new apartment, and just making phone calls to various places notifying them of our new address is a monumental task for me. I can hardly motivate myself to do it. I find myself thinking about how nice it would be to go to bed at 4 in the afternoon!"This is pretty much a consequence, nay a symptom of depression. Everything becomes work and a chore and we want to do nothing, but that is not the way to live life, it should be enjoyed and you would feel a whole lot better if you were feeling happy. Happiness gives us energy and socializing has many benefits to the human condition we are socializers. Now that doen't mean we need to have more then a few close friends, but allienating ourselves is also a part of feeling depressed. Socailizing and talking works on our health in many ways and forms. One of the biggest is the health from laughing with our friends."My mom always says I'd be better off working (I quit my job in February to stay home for awhile), but I enjoy being home. I was an administrative assistant and although I always hated being an AA, towards the end of my time I barely managed to make it to work. I'd constantly have thoughts like, "I'd rather just die in my bed than face another day there..." and my boss wasn't even bad! In fact, she was a great lady. At least staying home, I'm not having those kinds of really morbid thoughts. All I wanted was to become a housewife, anyway. I don't know if that's because I'm unmotivated or just a homebody, but I do enjoy just being responsible for keeping a clean house, paying bills, and running any errands that need to be done. It's a simpler kind of life. I do work occassionally on my secretarial skills, too, in the event I need to go back to work."I agree with your mom on this one, I think its best to be productive and active, this also helps our health and helps keep our self worth, distracts us from other problems or thoughts and helps us from becoming to alliented from everyone around us. However, I understand about that job not being productive to your health. But its not the only job out there, as a secretary work for someone you like, maybe a chairty you like even if you volunteer or something to get you out and about at first and to give you some self worth, as its always a good feeling to be helping others and a lot of times that really helps us also. Have you thought about a job as house sitting or a nanny or something because that sounds like it would help in that regards perhaps in the future to be doing what it sounds like you want to be doing somewhat.Craving sugar like that is also a sign the body chemistry is perhaps out of whack and not eating right can contributes to the feeling of depression, sugar are empty carbs and give you a quick boost of energy and then you fade, but there is no nutrition in it.Five therapists, well that can depend partly on the therapists, what kind and how much you also work with them and really make life changes and come completely clean/honest with them.I understand a lot of your post , because I have also been there. Somewhere deep down though you need to find some inner strength (this is only up to you although others can help) and work on getting out of feeling trapped and having to deal everyday with the depression, when I am sure you would rather be dealing with happy.







I would try one of the drugs and see how you feel to start and to start getting some of your energy back to have the energy to deal with more in small steps, so its not overwhelming.There are also some books to help, mikes tapes to help, therapists to help, our support here to help ect, that can helps in many ways as well as the education and knowledge to empower yourself which can sometimes be just as strong as an anti depressant.I gurantee the better you feel the more energy you have and the easier it becomes to deal with things and the happier you will be. I will post something here everday(except my holidays LOL) for you to read if you want that may help.


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## Tummy Trouble TB (Nov 10, 2001)

Thanks BQ, Linda and Eric for your replies and support.I know I need to do something with my life, Eric, but I just can't bear the thought of going back to the 40 hour workweek, trapped in an over-air conditioned cubicle for 8 hours a day. As busy as I was in all of my jobs, my mind would literally scream at me, "Let me out of here!" every minute of the day! I don't need to work for financial reasons, so I have some freedom in deciding what to do with myself. I guess I'd like something less structured than a business place, and where I can be creative. My husband works from home, and that is ultimately what I would like for myself. To be able to get paid to do something interesting from home. I'm pretty good with arts and graphics, so I always think maybe that is the way to go. Or, I also like makeup a lot and thought about trying to become a makeup artist and maybe get into freelancing. The makeup jobs are a long shot from where I live right now. My husband and I are contemplating a move to California in the future, so out there would definitely be some opportunities. What makes me really depressed is when someone says to me "You need to go back to an office." My therapist wanted me to get another secretarial job, and it was just painful even thinking about it. Secretarial work was the way I paid the bills before I got married, but if I have any say in it, I'd rather not ever be a secretary again.I know eating properly helps your body all the way around, and I have been trying to eat more balanced meals. The strange thing is, I have so much anxiety that sometimes I get sick to my stomach just trying to get food down. Sometimes even sweets don't sit well with me, so I have to be careful. I drink Boost when I know I'm not eating the way I should, and I am currently taking calcium, Biotin, Vitamin B12 (for nerve health), and a daily multiple vitamin to try and get the nutrients I need. I'm working on disciplining my eating habits and trying to get 3 meals a day in.You're also right about me trying one of the drugs my doctor recommended. It is sheer vanity that keeps me from not doing it. I've always been thin and never had a weight problem, but I began doing some research on the drugs and that is what led me to reading about these people who would gain astronomical amounts of pounds on these meds! It scared me, because if I become heavy, then I'll have to deal with incredibly low self-esteem in addition to everything else. I think what I will do is begin taking Paxil or Effexor and weighing myself every day. If I see any major changes, then I'll call my doc and discuss my options with her.Thank you for caring, and providing me an outlet to get these feelings out. It's good to be able to type them out and get feedback. I am going to make an effort to get myself in order again.


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## BBolen Ph.D (Nov 9, 2000)

Many of my patients have been on Paxil and Effexor and none of them have complained of weight gain. I would not recommend weighing yourself every day as that will only give you something else to worry about. Once a week should give you a fair idea of whether or not you are gaining weight. Please try to find a good therapist for yourself. With good treatment, you should experience symptom reduction and improved quality of life. Good luck with things.


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## spider (Sep 26, 2001)

Tummy Trouble,Thanks for posting, I SERIOUSLY connect with your situation, as I suffer mostly from nausea and anxiety. I have been bounced back and forth from Internal Med docs, to GI docs, to councilors (its been four so far). The Councilors & psychiatrists tell me it is very unlikely that my nausea is caused from any psychological illness, but the internal med docs can't really find anything going on, so I must be what, going crazy er somethin....Regardless, my anxiety gets pretty bad, like I don't want to leave the house, not because I am afraid to leave the house, it's because I physically feel like ####, then i dwell on I the fact I don't live how I used to live, and what am i doing with my life, I am so tired all the time.......and i m going to be sick forever.Ok. Back to you. If you hate office work, DON"T GO BACK TO IT!!! If you don't have to, if your old man can cover the expenses until you figure this out I would seriously suggest not going back to the office. BUT that means you have to be self discaplined to figure out how to persue graphics/ freelancing/ etc. Or whatever it is you would like to do Maybe learn FLASH and make yourself a website to promote your talents, or do some volunteer work to boost up your portfolio. "The idle mind is the devils plaything" unless you have projects or things that you do that contribute to your sense of self worth, your depression will keep getting worse. I guarentee. I tell you this though, I work in an office and IT SUCKS. I mean the work is okay and i work in a "cool" industry, but i just wish everyday when I leave for lunch that I was working outside or working my own schedule or doing something that 'really matters' blah blah, or I had my own gig and i didn't have to answer to these a-holes, etc...and all of this definatly contributes to my anxiety. I would definatly suggest trying an Anti-depressent. Ask your doctor also about CELEXA, that is new in the Prozac, Paxil, class (SSRIs) I am super sensative to these meds too, so my doc gave me Prozac in small doses (liquid) and Klonopin to curb the anxiety I already have, and potential increase from the SSRI. There are also a lot of the older tricyclic anti-depressents that are JUST AS EFFECTIVE as the new ones that might work for you, but generally they have worse side effects. One of the rad things for you about Celexa & Prozac is that they actually DECREASE your appetite for the first six months, so it would be cool if your body adjusted to one of those.The only other thing I can suggest is a Book called "FEELING GOOD" by David Burns, MD which is about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. There is also a workbook called "TEN DAYS TO SELF ESTEEM" by the same guy that my $150 a session CBT councilor who is 'friends with Dr. Burns' blah blah blah, had me do, and this actually helped me more than our sessions !!!!!Also, I know the eating thing well. I hate eating. I hate when meal time comes around because of the nausea I am never hungry. I hate when people ask me to lunch or dinner because I am afraid I am going to get stage fright and not be able to eat my meals!!! But eating like ####, i noticed, makes my bowel movements worse and constipated which makes me more lazy and tired than I already am and makes the depression worse. I too drink Boost or Ensure, and I try to take them on a daily basis, but sometimes I feel like it constipates me more??? Your body and mind will definatly feel worse until you start eating right for you. Lots of veggies , fiber, and stay away from red meats and lots of breadAnyhow, I hope this advice helps and feel free to email me anytime if you want to talk off the BB. I am really good at giving all kinds of advice, i just suck at taking it.Oh yeah, and brush your teeth twice a day, and go to church every sunday , and call your mother (LOL) Just kiddin.


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## zayaka26 (Jul 5, 2001)

TT, hi. I sent you a PM last week. Just so you know.


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## Serenity (Feb 6, 2002)

Tummy Troubles and Spider --I came across this thread after doing a search on nausea and anxiety, and I can't believe how what you described sounds JUST LIKE ME!!!I've suffered from depression for years, then anxiety and IBS kicked in three years ago, and my life seems to have gone downhill from there. As far as IBS goes, I have mostly nausea and lower abdominal pain. I take Losec and Elavil 25mg daily. I have gained tons of weight taking Elavil, which has made me even more depressed. I have quit three jobs in the last three years, and have been at home more than I've been working. I spend most of my time at home, and I have no energy. All this sitting around and not eating right is taking it's toll on my health too. But I have absolutely zero energy. Getting up most days seems like a monumental task. I jokingly told my family a short while back that there are only two things I like to do: sleep and eat! The sad thing is it's true.I'm thinking of giving Mike's tapes a try. Sounds like they could only help. Yet I still wonder: what should I treat first? the depression, the anxiety, or the IBS? (or the endometriosis, PCOS, high cholesterol, iron and B12 anemia?.... )Anyway, enough about me. Since this thread is almost a year old, I was just wondering: how are you doing now? Have you found anything to help you out? I hope things have gotten much better for you.


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## trbell (Nov 1, 2000)

you might want to find someone who knows about all those things? most psychoogists these days do as do many hypnotherapists. you could send a bc message to chris george as he knows about Canada's Heathcare system. I thought it was free but don't know for sure.tom


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## Guest (Jun 2, 2003)

Isn't it wonderful that so many others respond to you here? You aren't alone, that's a certainty.I have generalized anxiety disorder as well as clinical depression. At one time I treated with antidepressants, then CBT... now hypno. For me, the hypno has proved to be the best remedy for both IBS and anxiety.See a doctor for a complete evaluation and diagnosis. Anxiety doesn't have to rule your life.Hugs for you Tummy....  Evie


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## Serenity (Feb 6, 2002)

Tom -- Thanks for the suggestion. I think I made things sound a little worse than they really are; I just feel a little overwhelmed sometimes. Seems like I start to get one thing under control, and something else comes along.As far as the physical problems go, I do have a gastroenterologist and a gynaecologist, and both are excellent, and we're working on the medical issues. The mental issues are another story, however.I have tried many antidepressants: Prozac, Effexor, Zoloft, Elavil, Wellbutrin, and Celexa. Either they didn't work or the side effects were too unpleasant, so I've pretty much given up on them. As for therapy, I have seen several psychiatrists, but all they have done is prescribe drugs. Our public health care system will only cover the services of a psychiatrist and you have to be referred by your family doctor. Not a problem, except right now, the waiting list for psychiatrists is about 9 months long. Once you do get in, they are so busy, they have no time for and/or don't want to do any therapy, so they just prescribe antidepressants. Other than that, my fiance's extended health care plan will cover the services of a registered psychologist, but only 10 sessions.I was in therapy last year with a clinical psychologist, and she was somewhat helpful. She claimed to do CBT, but I found the methods she was using were more along the lines of behavioural therapy. (I have a B.Sc. in psychology, so I do know a little about the different methods). She also claimed to know quite a bit about IBS, but then she thought that I may be experiencing a somatoform disorder, specifically hypochondriasis. This made me seriously doubt her knowledge of IBS. Nonethless, I continued on with her for 10 sessions, until my coverage ran out.I think therapy helped me a little, but I certainly didn't feel I had overcome my anxiety and depression. I would like to continue with therapy, but I can't afford it. I have read "Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy" and I have done most of the exercises in "The Feeling Good Handbook", both by David Burns. Unfortunately, I don't think anything really stuck. I recently purchased "The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook" by Edmund Bourne and plan to work through that. It would be nice if I had a therapist to help me with some of the techniques, especially CBT, because I do believe CBT can work if you do it right.


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