# Going to counselor...what to expect



## 19223 (Oct 18, 2005)

I am so excited! My husband decided to go see a counselor. I know that a couselor won't necessarily cure all the problems, but for him to take that step to do something is HUGE!What do you look for in a good counselor? He does biblical based counseling and I can almost bet he's not very familiar with IBS. But, we talked about how depression/anxiety can bring on many, many physical symptoms (like aggravating IBS) and so he felt like he would work on the depression/anxiety issues first.I just wanted to share that with you all. I am daily working on being a more supportive wife. I am reading a book about raising your spouse's self-esteem. It has so much valuable info. I've never been to counseling before (H may have when he was younger when dad died). So, I don't really know what he can expect or what I can expect. As of now, I won't take part in the counseling. I am a bit of a control freak so I will back off and let H and the counselor decide if I should be involved.


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## 19223 (Oct 18, 2005)

No input on this topic?


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## 20250 (Jul 14, 2005)

I am searching myself. I'm trying to find someone that specializes in IBS related issues, anxiety and panic attacks. I would say ask questions when you call, get their credentials before you start forking out the dough. Most in my area specialize in marriage counciling, so would not be effective for my or your DHs problems. I wish I could be more help to you but that's where I'm at also.


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## 19223 (Oct 18, 2005)

Thanks Brett. It's hard to find a counselor around here that has experience with IBS. We live in such a rural area and IBS is just a catch all stomach problem around here. When my husband or I tell someone he has IBS, they say yeah so and so has it too. Which they may but no one understands how serious this is...I didn't until finding this site. I think it will be good for him to see this counselor even if he doesn't specialize in IBS because I don't think IBS is his main problem. It's the depression and anxiety that have been forming since he was a child.


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## 20250 (Jul 14, 2005)

Right, I can't find one that specializes in IBS, I found one that I think would suit me best that has all the credentials and her specialty is anxiety and panic attacks. But of course, she is not in my insurance network. The next closest one with this specialty is about an hour away. I can tell you the cost of the one in my area, $365 for the 1st visit, then I think $ 250 per visit once a week, for about a month, then $165 a week for 15 minute appts as needed.Out of my league!!! But, Mikes tapes are $90 so I'm taking that route for now. Maybe your DH could try them as well. Good Luck to you and DH


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## miranda (Apr 16, 2004)

hi, i've been seeing a psychologist for about 8 months now at a stress and anxiety clinic and it has helped tremendously. maybe you could try to look for a psychologist who specializes in cognitive behavioural therapy as there is evidence that particular form of therapy can help ibs.this style of therapy is different from general talk therapy.ibs is well known to the practitioners in the clinic as a physical response to stress and anxiety. there is a book out there that you could ask your therapist to have a look at and maybe help apply the techniques with you.http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/157230135...=books&v=glance


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## 17176 (Mar 31, 2005)

fw i go to see 2 councellors each one address's different probs i have, id reccomend councelling to anyone, it has helped me a hellava lot, without them id still be on square 1... good luck


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## 17309 (May 7, 2005)

Hi frustratedwife,Your husband can always ask his gastro doc which counselor he recommends. I didn't have one that specifically worked with IBS, just with anxiety and stress, but basically anything that makes him less stressed out will help. It definitely helped for me! As long as he likes his counselor and feels it's helping, I wouldn't worry about it being illness-specific therapy. But if you are looking for IBS-specific therapy, there are tons of books on amazon.com.


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## 19223 (Oct 18, 2005)

Hey guys! H just left the counselor. He said he feels so much peace right now just being able to tell someone what he's feeling. He said he seemed to like the counselor. The counselor wants me to go back. I said I am gonna be in trouble cause I'm a bad wife but he said the counselor just wanted to hear from me what I saw him going through so he could get the whole picture. Thanks for listening to me go on and on. This is a huge step. H was blaming all his problems on physical problems. He just told me he realizes that there are mental and physical things going on and so he needs to work on both! I am so excited!







Everyone have a good weekend. We leave for the Bahamas tomorrow! I pray for IBS and stress free days for us!


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## 17176 (Mar 31, 2005)

glad H got on ok fw, i agree its great havin g someone to talk to, i should have had councelling yrs ago, instead i bottled things up for 30 yrs (i kid you not) had i went to get help id be better today, but im getting there.. have a gr8 break lucky you..


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## 13364 (Dec 8, 2005)

Hey frustrated wife !As a male man XY sort of person, with an (as yet undefined) but seriously debilitating functional gut disorder, I can assure you that without the help of my wife, who deserves the highest honour in the land, I would not have been able to deal with my illness thus far.If you have given your hub one half of the support I've received, you'll have made a *huge* difference.These issues cannot be faced alone; you are more important to your husband's recovery than any wonder drug.


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## 19223 (Oct 18, 2005)

It's me again! We are back from our cruise!! It was great! Husband had NO IBS symptoms, not even cramps! I know it was because of the counselor and because we were in a relaxing atmosphere. He is really working on the mental aspects of having IBS because he sees now that it's definitely not just a physical problem! Just wanted to say Hi again and update you!


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## 20250 (Jul 14, 2005)

Alright, I'm jealous!! Glad you and dh were able to enjoy the cruise, that's cool.


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