# IBS, work, relationships-how to cope



## in_pain_fedup (Feb 20, 2008)

hi, im new to all this.ive had IBS for about 6 yrs now, until about a year ago it never bothered me.this last year has been hell, i have turned from a happy wel socialised person, into pretty much a loner, i feel like i cant go out, cant meet friends and definately stop making new friends on purpose. im pushing people away every waking minute.my IBS is triggered by stress and anxiety, i tried going to stress management classes which did help, but stopped going to them after a massive IBS attack that left me housebound for over a month.work are so nasty about m, they are currently looking for ways to get rid of me due to the amount of time i have off work!! which makes me anxious which make my IBS play up.i just feel like everything in my life is making me ill, the worst thing is know most of it is my own fault.i just wanted to get things off my chest to people who understand how hard living with IBS is, i cant talk to anyone else about this sort of thing.


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## SUICIDESOONLIFESRUINED (Nov 18, 2004)

I know exactly how you feel. Im exactly like you. I just quit my job today over the comments. Im a pretty strong person but sometimes you just cant take the ridicule. Being the center of jokes is very harmful to one's self esteem, especially when you have no control over it. Im just going to eat up my savings and spend my life focused on detoxing, colon cleanse and eating perfectly. Stuff I've already tryed of course but im going to change it up a bit. Also going to start working on depression(NO DRUGS).In my experience I've found that IBS is like a money pit. You're going to blow a #### load of money, and at the end of the day youre still gonna have IBS.Its the reality we have to live my friend. The only thing we can do now is try to manage it as best as possible so we can at least enjoy some of life before its all over.I dont mean to discourage you. I did the whole sitting around feeling sorry for myself routine and that didnt make anything better. You gotta block all the negative out and set your mind out to grab IBS by the horns and rock the rodeo my friend.


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## sacha (Mar 10, 2008)

Hi,my names sacha im new on here also just joined today.I feel exactly like you. I sympathise with you fully, i have lost two jobs because of having time off because of my ibs, so i am currently not working. I am finding it hard to work with how i feel each day, i am in pain everyday its horrible. My family find it hard to understand what is wrong with me, and think its in my head, but its deffinatly not! the only person i can turn too is my partner he is my rock, things would be alot harder with out him. Even if you only have one person to turn to its better than none. It is not your fault, i have come to realize that there are lots of people out there like us who are suffering daily. It is best to talk about it and dont keep it all inside. I will try and help you, if you have any questions.Keep making new friends on here, keep your chin up.x


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## Danevans (Dec 23, 2008)

I feel you too man I'm in the middle of being diagnosed, I had one colonoscopy doc said there wasn't anything abnormal, I have an appointment on the 31st. as a follow-up.I'm a full time college student and I used to party and go to bars with friends a lot but now I sit around in discomfort a lot, just waiting for more serious conditions to be ruled out.It's only been a couple months and I'm afraid too much of this may be a burden on the relationship with my gf. I try to be positive and in a good mood, but it's hard when you always feel so uncomfortable. I used to be very outgoing, ready for action, but lately I've been anxious and a little down. I guess we just have to tough it out and try to keep social even while feeling discomfort. I hope that I have IBS and not something worse. I can deal with the discomfort but the thought of chron's or something in that ballpark makes me horrified. Anyways good luck to you and I hope you feel better.


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## rockingirl (Jan 10, 2008)

I know how you feel. I quit a job over the lack of understanding of coworkers as to why I needed time off. Are you eligible for FMLA at work? That could help you with taking time off. I used to have hair raising rides into work, freaking that I wouldn't make it in time to use the bathroom. Also, work meetings would give me anxiety attacks. IBS stressed me out sooooo much. It still stresses me, but not nearly as much. Effexor has helped me a lot. My anxiety attacks related to IBS things have lessened substantially. It hasn't done anything to the IBS, but it has helped the way I react to symptoms. I'm able to somewhat control my IBS with immodium, so that helps too, although I am always on the lookout for an alternative cuz it gives me C a lot. In staff meetings, I pick a seat near the door, just in case, but I have never had to leave. When I started my job, I was totally stressed and had a lot of "stomach troubles" (the explanation I gave to my superiors). However, only one coworker knows I have IBS. As I got more used to the job and the people, the stress decreased a bit. No one would ever know I have a health problem now unless I told them. Although I do need to take time off now and then for an excessive number of doctors appointments.I know if I started a new job that my IBS would get worse, but for now, I have things under control. As for a social life, it is still a bit difficult, but if I want to do something I take a lot of immodium. However, I try not to be too busy, because the more Immodium I have to take, the more C I have to suffer with after. Another thing that has helped me is evaluating friendships. If I feel like I'd be embarrassed if I was out with a friend and had to tell them I wasn't feeling well and needed to use the bathroom, then that person is not a good friend. I try to weed out the fair-weather friends, and do things with the people I can just be myself around. And if I feel comfortable with the person I'm with, then I probably won't have to use the bathroom anyway cuz I won't be stressing.I hope something in there helps. It's really hard to pull yourself out of the dumps (no pun intended, lol) but you can try to look at things a bit more positively. Do things you feel comfortable doing. Take tiny steps, and try to go somewhere every day, so you don't develop a fear of going out. As for relationships, I can easily make new friends, but finding a significant other, that's a whole nother story. I haven't met anyone of interest, so I'm kinda putting that at the end of my to-do list for now. But I think my goal would be to try to get to know a guy as a friend first, and see how they react to my problems in that role. However, when my IBS started and I didn't know what it was, relationships were not an issue. Which makes me realize, it's all about how I react to the problem, you know? Dating wasn't an issue until I knew I had IBS. When I just had "something weird" going on dating was no problem. It makes me hate how casually doctors throw the IBS diagnosis at you. Don't they realize it's going to freak people out?


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## outdoors geek (Nov 23, 2008)

Welcome!I'm curious (because you said you had it for 6 years but it only bothered you recently) if there was anything that made it worse or caused it to flare up? I certainly understand how IBS can make you not want to go out! Is there a way you can work elsewhere? I don't really have any experience with work problems as my work has been very understanding/accepting of it. I can't really offer you any advice, but try to hang in there and relax as much as possible (I know, easy to say, hard to do). Hope work backs off and is nicer to you, and we're here if you ever need to talk about it.


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