# Verbal Abuse Survivors



## Guest (Aug 20, 2002)

Hi Everyone,I haven't posted here in a very long time but I do come back and read from time to time. It has been a very tough year.In light of Tom's post about CFS and Abuse, I thought some of you might be interested in this website I found just tonight. It really has nothing to do with fibro, CFS, depression, etc.Or does it? I happen to believe that it does.--------------------------------- http://www.pinn.net/~sunshine/book-sum/v_abuse.html Sunshine for WomenBook Summaries | Home Verbal Abuse Survivors Speak Out On Relationship and Recovery Patricia Evans Bob Adams Inc, 1993 Gauging by the amount of feedback I receive from my readers, this book is by far the most popular books summarized here. For more information on this topic, visit Patricia Evans home page. 1) " If you are on an emotional roller coaster, being put down, feeling confused, hurt, thrown off balance, experiencing frequent small shocks, feeling stunned, wondering how you could be hearing what you are hearing, wondering what you could have said or done, feeling isolated, being called names, disparaged or subtly cut to the quick, and you have sought to nurture and understand the relationship - if your experience was negated, the experiences of the women in this book will resonate with you." page 10 ----------------------------------------------You can read the whole article by clicking on the URL above.My husband and I mutually agreed that a separation would be good for us and I will be moving Wednesday to a large city near here to live with my daughter and granddaughter. I hope that I will be able to find help. Chances there are much better than in this rural area where I now live.I took Celexa for about three weeks a couple of months ago. Didn't help the depression at all but did increase my anxiety. After I'd weaned off the Celexa, I took Buspar (buspirone) for three weeks for anxiety. It actually increased my level of anxiety. So...back to the lorazepam. Now, even it is not helping as much as it used to.Anyway, I thought that perhaps this website might be of interest to some of you. And in reading it, I think we need to remember, that even though this is written from the slant that the woman in the relationship is always the victim, we know that is not always true. Sometimes the man is the abused one. That was so with my father. But, he also, was an abuser.Take care all and I'll try to get back to the board after I get settled at my new home. It's tough walking away from thirty years.Best wishes,calida


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## PeacefulHart (Jun 26, 2002)

Thanx for sharing this. Very informational. (And for what it's worth... I agree with you.)


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## Feisty (Aug 14, 2000)

Calida,I send my love  and hope that things will settle down for you soon. You've been through a lot. Sounds like you've made the right decision for you----and I say GOOD FOR YOU.Keep in touch.Thanks for the great info. Verbal abuse can be a real nightmare. I can relate. Take care.Karen


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## weener (Aug 15, 2000)

Calida, I will be thinking of you and hope and pray that you find the help that you are looking for. Please stay in touch.


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## Dolphinlady (Nov 5, 1999)

I don't usually visit this section of the boards, but the I caught the title out of the corner of my eye. I'm so glad you posted this. I've been wanting to put something up about it, too. Here's another couple of really great sites to get information and support from:Patricia Evan's verbal abuse site (BB is formatted just like this one! Well, almost as good, not as well moderated)andDr. Irene's verbal abuse site


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## squrts (Aug 14, 2000)

i was just getting ready to e mail you!you bring me back then you disappear.sorry things are so tough.lets hope they are birth pains from you giving birth to a whole new and better life.


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## Feisty (Aug 14, 2000)

What a neat way to put that, Denny!!!


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## squrts (Aug 14, 2000)

why thank you kind lady.


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## Angie01 (Aug 8, 2002)

This really got me thinking. My sister and I had a rough childhood. Now I have IBS and alot of other health problems and my sister is manic depressive. I am sure that the abuses we suffered though haunt us. I know that when ever I hear yelling, fighting, ect. I feel like I am 7 years old again. Not too long ago, had it out with mother, and we didn't speak for a long time. She called child protective services on me, she didn't like my new husband and that my son gets an occasonal spanking. He never abused our son. I think now she knows I can't put up with this anymore. I am trying to forgive her. But I will never forget.


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## Susan Purry (Nov 6, 2001)

Calida, it's good to hear from you. Do come and visit again when you're settled. I hope the move went well. And thanks for the info you posted or us. Take care,


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## Guest (Aug 27, 2002)

Hello Everyone and thanks for all the good wishes,The move went fine. Took me awhile to recuperate. Especially since I'm sleeping on a VERY firm mattress. It traumatized my body so badly. Went looking yesterday for a new mattress but I find they seem to have two kinds: super firm w/o a pillow top and super firm with a pillow top. Neither of them seemed adequate so we bought a couple of those cheap egg carton/crate toppers and last night was much, much better.I've checked about some water aerobics classes and plan to go tomorrow to join the local YWCA where they offer the classes in a heated pool. And super good luck, it is only about a mile from my daughter's house here. Also offer yoga classes and I probably will check into those later. I have a couple of yoga tapes but could just never get going with them. My daughter says she'll do them with me so I may not need the classes. (They are $10/session). Right now I just need for my lower back, hips, legs, feet to become "untraumatized".







My best to all,calida


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