# eric, my apologies and apologies to the forum



## trbell (Nov 1, 2000)

eric, please accept my apologies for the last few posts of mine. You've pushed my buttons again nd sorry to all in the forum who've been suffering with the turmoil. I also don't think this particular argument is helpful to readers of the forum. I think though that I would like a guarantee that the discussion rmain civil. In the past when we have had discussions they do sem to turn into arguments wher we each are calling the other names and I amit that I have done that. What usually happens though is that I apologize and you don't and I let it go. So as a first step i would like you to apologize for calling me stupid as I think that was inappropriate?As another ground rule in this discussion it would help m if me keep it simple in the sense of talking abou one thin at a time and so I would suggest you post your reply to me in the other thread as a new thread and I can give you my opinion and you and others can give their opinions. That way may be helpful to others as well. So post the articles in a new thread with a new title, please. I realize thaat's a nusance but I think it will make it easier for all to follow?A third condition I think is an agreement on expertise. I realize I have confused you on this as you point out and I myself am conflicted about it as I don't want to be an expert here but I keep getting put in the positio of being one. I am a pschologist and I can't change that. I also have a knowledge of statistics and research methods and I can't change that. You don't have those qualifications and you seem to resist reading whole articles and books that I suggest. i also don't have access to whole articles so I'm not sure how to level the field. It might be helpful if you could lay your hands on a graduate level book on basic statistics or research methodology. If you have other suggestions here let me know.i also think it would help me and others if we did this at a slow pace so if you post the thread I'll read the abstracs and give you my opinion on there merits as research not on whether what they are saying is true or false. As he said in his email to you and me and jeff and Heather, Dr. Palsson has concerns about this type of thing being discussed in a bb forum which I share and i think Mike does as well but if we can follow these guidelines it might work and be helpful to readers of the forum.Once again i would appreciate your reading Blanchard before making any comments about what psychologists do or don't do when it comesto IBS. i also suggest you talk these conditions over with k, especially if you think my expectations are unreasonable.By the way, i have no objections to your returning as moderator should you choose to do so if you feel you can moderate in a civil way and we can clarify the ethicaldilemma I think that presents for Mike.tomwho would rather be Bada


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## trbell (Nov 1, 2000)

BTW, Blanchard's chapter on research and statistics is quite good. If you read the chapter and my review of his book maybe we can start talking the same language.Bada


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## Nikki (Jul 11, 2000)

Why do you start yet another thread on the same arguement that will no doubt get out of control. Everyone is upset enough. We don't need another thread that dwells on the subject. If you have a problem, do it in PMs or emails.


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## bonniei (Jan 25, 2001)

Bada where is your review on Blanchard? I think Bada you often make suggestions. Often the only comments you make are suggestions. The only suggestions personally that I would not get offended by are if you are an expert of some kind. I know after you told me you didn't want to be seen as a psychologist you made atleast 10 suggestions to me and then commented on something I had posted on CBT. It was obvious your comments came only because you were an expert which is when I decided to ask you about a book on CBT. If you don't want to be seen as an expert I suggest you only post as a sufferer about your problems and ask for advice on them. In fact it might do you good to get out of this forumn for a while.However I think you are making a mistake. We could do with an expert in psychology who could recommend books and as a scientist who might be able to give opinions on abstracts. As you don't post about your problems, that would take away the sting of your suggestions and make you a full member- i.e you would give suggestions but also comment when asked. That way it would be less confusing for us. We cannot forget you are a psychologist ultimately- maybe with some time we could. Do let us know what you decide


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## Nikki (Jul 11, 2000)

I find someone that can post so much with the most bizarre things i have ever seen is an "expert". If you want to help people Tom, by all means do so. But in a manner that does not make people feel about one inch tall and is not condescending or argumentative.Disagreeing with the mod on pretty much every little thing he has said is not conducive to a friendly, and informative forum.I hope you do not take what i have said wrongly. I am only making a suggestion. Take a break maybe.Nikki


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## bonniei (Jan 25, 2001)

I do agree your suggestions sound condescending! I suppose it is because you make comments like "Bonnie has started to read" etc and "why don't you pick up a book?". Taken as a whole, since you never bring yourself down to our level by talking about your problems, that is why you sound condescending and that was why I was taking offence. Maybe the solution is to talk about your problems more openly?


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## trbell (Nov 1, 2000)

this thread was addressed to eric and I think if he agrees we can have a discussion that might help others in the forum,nikki*, if eric returns as moderator he probably needs to address the things you talk about.bonniei, i have admitted i can be condescending and am trying to change.Bada


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## Nikki (Jul 11, 2000)

If this was JUST for eric then do not post it in a public forum but in am email or a PM. I am sure that if eric wishes to discuss this with you he would email you or PM you.This is pointless and will not help others int he forum to discuss.Nikki


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## bonniei (Jan 25, 2001)

The topic says apologies to the forum. My apologies if I misunderstood. Give Tom a break Nikki


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## Guest (Jul 26, 2003)

I just want to say that I think it is perfectly ok to disagree with anyone, including a moderator. Just because someone is a moderator does not make them all-knowing, nor does it mean that moderators always make the most correct or best decisions. And if a decision is debatable, then members have a right to challenge it. Just because there are differences of opinions, does not mean a meaningful discussion cannot occur.And respect and cooperation can enhance any discussion.Evie


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