# Well, the honeymoon's over



## MaggieMae (Feb 8, 2002)

Why does this keep happening?I was doing sooo good! But, things took a bad turn last week and have been going downhill ever since. Last Thursday, shortly after waking, I started having multiple bouts of loose stools. That has happened every morning since. But yesterday, it was horrible. Despite two doses of imodium, I had watery D after lunch. I had an afternoon meeting, and after leaving it repeatedly to go to the bathroom, I finally broke down and went home. I also had a meeting with an executive scheduled later that I had to cancel! Nobody with any sense does that to an executive. I want to quit my job.Then, I went home and started thinking about how I'll never be normal. That's when the tears started. And, they continued off and on until after I took my morning shower this morning.Despite all this, I've kept to the schedule and am on day 48 of the tapes. And, I'm still taking calcium 3x's a day with meals.Starting today, I'm also taking imodium before every meal. It's either that, or stop eating while I'm at work. I also decided to give up coffee and chocolate and have not had any today, but I know it'll give me headaches for about two weeks. So, then I'll be taking tylenol.Now, I'm starting to worry about everything. I have a business trip coming up where I'll be on a plane and in a meeting all day. I don't want to go. My husband and I are planning to go out with some friends Friday to eat and see a comedian. And, we're supposed to travel to about an hour away to visit with family on Saturday. I don't want to do anything at this point. I love life when I can focus on something other than how many feet exist between me and the bathroom. But, when IBS rears its ugly head again, it's so depressing. And, it's difficult to think beyond the hardship it causes.


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## nmwinter (May 31, 2001)

Hi MaggieSo sorry you are having a bad week. They just suck. I really hate the times when you seem to get into the cycle, don't know how it started and don't know how to get out. It sounds like you're doing the right stuff though - continuing with the hypno and calcium and using immodium to try to get through it. I know it's hard, but just try to think of it as a setback rather than a failure. Who knows - maybe it was a bug that set you off and you're having trouble getting back from it. I know how that can go too.nancy


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## BQ (May 22, 2000)

(((((((Maggie))))))))I know that you feel lousy, but this just might be a "mind army" thang. Read what Mike has to say about that here: http://www.ibsgroup.org/ubb/ultimatebb.php...c;f=11;t=000885 I know this is tough when you are going through it, but try to just think of it as a temporary set back. Don't "go" to Friday night's dinner out or the business trip. Stay in the day. You could always feel just fine for those events, ya never know; but worrying about them now, will not help ya. Trust me I know that is hard, but think about how many good days and uneventful trips and dinners you have had. In other words, focus on the positives. I can't think of anyone who has done this program that hasn't had set backs, so things are probably progressing just fine. Hang in there and keep thinking positively.I'm sure Eric or Mike or Marilyn can help ya some more. I'll be thinking of you and please remember we have all been there so you are not alone.  BQ


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## AZMom (Oct 13, 1999)

Been there. You're still in the early stages, don't worry. After two years basically symptom-free, I have occasional bouts of D. If I get a virus I'll tend to feel it in my gut. My allergies seem to bring on D, but it is temporary, it always goes away. The BIG difference is that I don't worry about it. It has changed the way I look at IBS symptoms. I don't let it affect me. This is not even conscious effort, it just feels different, it just doesn't bother me. There is something to look forward too. Keep going, you will get better.AZ


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## cookies4marilyn (Jun 30, 2000)

Hi Maggie... I have "postponed" my whole life because of IBS (well, other things too) but suffice it to say, I truly do understand. You are still early in the program; don't give up, it will get better. Do whatever it takes to make yourself comfortable for the time you are in. If you need to take Immodium, do it, none of the meds counter-act the effects of the tapes.I know I had missed out on a lot of life, and had to cancel many times. But now, even though I still do have IBS from time to time, if there is something I want to do, I go ahead. Most of the time, I have had NO IBS during the things I went to; or if I did, the episodes were less than what they used to be. Just last week, I went to a concert hall having over 65,000 people, lines, driving downtown with my daughter's girlfriend's mom, who was great, but I didn't know her well... turns out we did talk about IBS on the way down, and yet, I didn't have an attack at all. Having chronic illness is very tiring, and the stress of having to explain to people, let alone the embarrassment has taken its toll on you as it did me and all the others here. If you read back on some of the posts of people just starting the tapes, they sound much like you do, and now, are doing very well.We are here to support, but in the meantime, take whatever meds you need, schedule yourself rest time, and do whatever it takes to keep yourself sane and calm for the moment. Gradually, you will find these feelings, and the D becoming less and less and farther and farther apart, until one day, you will say, gee, I haven't had IBS in a long time!You'll see. Everyone has a different time frame; you may not see drastic relief for months, or you may feel better starting tomorrow and then on... but just know that you WILL be better.hang in there.....


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## MaggieMae (Feb 8, 2002)

Thanks to everyone for the helpful comments, hugs, and words of encouragement. They really do help. I started feeling better the moment I posted earlier. So,venting helps, too. Thanks for listening and caring enough to find ways to cheer me up. I'm going to return to my positive frame of mind and try again. You're right, things will get better. I had a good streak and it didn't just happen for no reason. It will happen again and again and each time it will last longer than the last.


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## JeanG (Oct 20, 1999)

Hi maggie:Hang in there! You're right -- the good streaks will last longer and longer as time goes by. JeanG


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## eric (Jul 8, 1999)

maggie, how is it going?


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## MaggieMae (Feb 8, 2002)

Well, since I've been on the imodium, I've been much better. I actually had regular BMs today and yesterday. I took imodium Tuesday when all this got out of control and at breakfast and lunch on Wednesday and Thursday. Today, I took it only at lunch. I'll take it at dinner, too, because my husband and I are going out with friends. I'm trying to tell myself everything will be fine. I still feel like a whipped puppy, though. It'll take a while to build up my confidence again.Thanks again to everyone for the encouraging words. I get so much more help, support and hope out of this board than I've found from any doctor or other resource.Bless you all.MM


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## MaggieMae (Feb 8, 2002)

I just have to report that last night went GREAT! I took one dose of imodium about 2 hours before our outing. I went to my dance class, then we met our friends at a restaurant. Dinner was wonderful. Afterwards, we went over to watch Wayne Brady, from Who's Line Is It Anyway. He was amazing! So talented!! I haven't laughed that hard in years. Anyway, I'm glad that I didn't find an excuse to get out of going, as I've done in the past. My husband is happy, too. I'm so proud of myself for pressing on. It wasn't easy. Thanks to everyone for being here to help. You are literally life savers!MM


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## eric (Jul 8, 1999)

maggiemae, I am so glad you went and had a good time.







Stick to the program it will get better and better for you. The setbacks are just that and a lot of us can tell you that from experrience and having been through it. keep the faith and things will improve. Again glad you didn't make excuses for not going and did go and had a good time.


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