# I am ready to give up



## mosby (May 4, 2003)

Hey everyone new to this,I am ready to give up. I have had ibs since around 4 years old. I am 16 now and it gets worst.I am so tired of the pain and suffering and nothing works. I am tired of this ####. I have one option that will end it that is suicide. I think about everyday. One day i was so upset i put a huge knife in the kitchen to my throat and droped it and started to cry. No one understands me. It won't go away. There are people out there who go through life and take &*#$ for granted like not haveing to #### 5 times a day. I would kill to be one of thoose people. I am sick and tired of not being able to live a life at all. I want to be active but it looks like because of who I am I can't do that.Sorry to be so cheerful I need help


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## betagirl (Oct 12, 2002)

Hey mosby.I'm not going to argue with you, you do need help. I was suicidal in high school, but not because of belly problems. I had major self esteem issues from many things, and attempted a few times. Grant it, I wasn't *really* trying, it was a cry for help. Which your post is, and the knife incident is. I was lucky to have a teacher help me, and get me out of my funk. I was 14 the first time I tried it. I also started drinking a decent amount at the same age. So I know what it's like to have those thoughts.I can also relate the gut problems. I was diagnosed a year ago with Crohn's disease. Talk about a bummer. I'm 27, in the prime of my life. I knew what it was from a roommate I had in college with it. I've gone through all kinds of emotions with this, from denial to crying fits, to indifference, to ignoring my docs orders. I know what it's like to go to the bathroom 15 times in 2 hours, the pains, the cramps, the burning butt. Crohn's and IBS symptoms are pretty close to my understanding. Both also don't have a cure, so it can cause you to lose hope. I am trying to help here







I've recently decided to join a support group in my area. I'm not sure where you can find one for IBS, but I'm sure they exist. Check around on the internet or with local hospitals. All the crohn's groups meet at a hospital from what I can tell. That's as close to therapy as I'm getting right now. By the way, when I was all suicidal back in HS, I did go see the school psychologist. I thought he was a real a**hole back then, but in retrospect he helped me get past a huge problem in my life. So if you have one at your HS, perhaps you should talk to him/her? Unfortunately confidentiality didn't seem to exist like it can when you're an adult. So keep that in mind if you don't want your p's to know. Not sure how that is now. If you can't see someone at school, there is obviously professional help. If you're religious, see your preacher. Talk to SOMEONE about it who can give you advice, listen to your plight. Obviously we're here for you on the board too, but it sounds like you may need more. Bottom line is though, DO NOT let this #### get to you that much. Yes, it sucks. It sucks so bad, but life is so worth living. Yes, I'm being cliche. But seriously, compare your good times to your bad times with IBS. What do you really enjoy in life? Your friends? Your family? Vanilla ice cream? Beaches? It's so easy to focus in on the negative with these diseases, we lose sight of the positive that happens all around us when we're not on the pot.I hope this has helped a little. Feel free to email me if you want at any time.Hang in there!


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## Vicky Foster (Sep 15, 2002)

I'm not going to patronise you and say your IBS will get better one day, or disappear cos most of us are stuck with it, but there are things that you'll find to help, i promise.I too felt really, really low only a few months ago and i felt that i had nothing to live for, but i've perserverd and i'm beginning to see some happiness in my life, and feel a bit better.I know when you feel down it's hard to see any positive way out from the pain and the misery, but remember all the people who love you and care for you, and what a difference you make to peoples lives by just being you







Just try and see that IBS isn't who you are, it's just a part of you xPLease, please talk over how you're feeling with someone you trust, or someone you feel comfortable with even if it's an outside person xhang on in there x


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## Nikki (Jul 11, 2000)

Hi, nice to have you on board!







I am not going to beat around the bush. You need to get some help. Suicide is not something yuo want to mess around with. I know it is difficult, but do you have a parent, teacher or friend you can turn to? A friends mum even? You could contact your doctor and ask for help. Often they will refer you for counselling if they think that you need it. You can't let this go on though, you need to ask for help.IBS it not worth taking your own life for! There are ways to control and deal with it. Are you on any medication for your IBS? If so, what are you taking? There are many things that can help with the pain and with the cramps. Have you looked into the possibility of hypnosis? If you have any questions feel free to email/PM or leave a message for me on here.Your not on your own.Nikki


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## kjh498 (Jun 27, 2002)

hi there. sorry to hear you are so down. I too wanted to commit suicided and was going to take an overdose. I have always considered myself mentally stable 100% until I got ibs. I felt there was a way out and that was to die. Two years later I am still here and I have learnt to live with it a bit better, you will too. Make sure you tell your friends and family about your thoughts (it took me 3 years, i thought i was a freak and people wouldn't understand) People will understand and through just knowing that they know will make it easier. you are not alone, there are tons of us poor buggers on this site. Keep taking your immodium and TALK to people about it, you will be supprised how many people have it.Good luckMail me when you like for a chatkelly


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## mosby (May 4, 2003)

Thanks to all who care.This is the first time in my life i am actually talking to someone about it.My mom knows somethings wrong but doesn't feel anything is necessary. The emotional stuff i went through was back in middle school. But the gut pain is worst.IT just hurts the worst in the summer. MY friends wonder why i don't go anywhere and stay home all day. It's not like i want to stay held up in the house for 3 months. I just get really upset because there are so many chances i had to go to europe and study and play in sports torunaments.I really want to go but anyone with this knows theres no way in hell that would ever happen.what should i do this summer if i want to go out?If you go on vacation isn't there some kind of natural suppliment you can take? (I heard people say aloe vera juice works) The biggest #### in my life is the fact that i am 16 and can't swallow pills.


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## betagirl (Oct 12, 2002)

mosby, don't think that you can't go out and do stuff! It sounds like you're in a vicious cycle of your guts causing havoc and then subsequent fear/being upset, which just makes it worse. I know when I get upset I get so sick, so if I let the crohn's bug me all the time I'd never get out either. You need to find some courage to try and do things, even if slowly at first. Go out for an hour or 2, somewhere you know there's a bathroom that you can easily get to. And expand out from there. You're so young, you can't spend the rest of your life in the house! And yes, stuff will happen while you're out. But you just deal with it. I went to dinner with someone with work a few months ago, and we were walking back to the parking garage. I was in downtown Chicago on Michigan avenue when the cramps and urgency hit me like a mack truck. I had to grin and bear it til my co-worker and I parted ways, then it became a matter of finding a bathroom. Luckily a rather fancy restaurant let me use their bathroom. Maybe it was the look on my face, but I made it







Yes, that was lousy. I have many instances of that, but I won't let it confine me to the house. What are you taking for your IBS? Is it working? I'm very much about the pre-emptive meds as well, to stave off any problems my guts may want to give me. As for the aloe juice, I've read about it as well. It can't hurt to try it, but I think it's more for inflammation. Other gut calmers are peppermint tea, ginger, flax seed oil and omega3 fatty acids (found in most fish). I don't do a lot of holistic stuff, but I do watch what I eat and sometimes do the flax oil. I have noticed being on a bland diet has slowed my system down quite a bit recently. Grant it it's not a lot of fun







Hang in there. I still think you should find someone to talk to about it if you can.


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## booboo6202 (Feb 5, 2003)

did you know immodium makes a liquid? it doesnt taste too bad and works just as well as pills!maybe you could try it since you cant take pills


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