# trying to date or just live with ibs



## ineedhelp412 (Jan 21, 2002)

this sucks i'm afraid to go on dates or even go over to people houses cause i get nervous that i will have to go and of course it seems to make me have to this is a real problem and i don't know what to do i just wanna live a normal life not have to worry about where the closest bathroom is i really wish it wasn't so embarraing if only immodium did anything to help that stuff does nothing for me well respond if you know anything i can do:-(


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## Poetess (Oct 4, 2001)

Hey. Yeah I feel the exact way. I get nervous, but once I am comfortable in my environment then my stomache starts to feel better. I know I can't go anywhere w/o eating, otherwise I get more sick, but breathing techniques work for me, cause I'm pretty sure my symptoms are caused more by anxiety. There's alot of things out there for you to try, it's just amtter of what will work for you. I'm on enough meds to begin adding some more. Sorry.More about me


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## Misst06 (Nov 15, 2001)

i'm definetly in the same boat! as of recently i have a new boyfriend who is mr.popular drop dead gorgues a sweetheart, all that good stuff...i'm so afraid to go out though i'm just afraid that sooner or later he'll decide that its not worth it cuz i never wanna do anything with him, which is not it at all!!! i want to be with him so very very much, i feel so comfortable when i'm around him i just can't imagine how i'd react if i got sick when i was with him! luckily immodium works for me but then i usually have the after effect acouple days later and i explode!have u ever tried accidopholus (spelling?) or caltrate calcium supplements on a reg. basis- those have also helped me with D a lot. Claire


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## rn4baby (Jan 26, 2002)

Hey there! Don't worry, you're not alone out there in the dating world. I hate to even think about it. I went on my first date with a great guy last week and of course he wanted to go out to eat







Well, the way I figured it, I was going to be sick anyway so I just made a mental note of where the bathroom was, figured the date would only last for another 2 hrs max and ate anyway. ( I only had to excuse myself once) I've found that eating actually gives your stomach something to do other than just make you uncomfortable. It was not pleasant after we said goodnight and i made a beeline for the bathroom at home, but i did survive and I had to pat myself on the back for doing so good. My advice is to just relax, breathe, and if you have to, just let them know what's up. After they know, you don't have to worry about hiding it, or your nervousness and can relax. If you have to go, then go, it's a natural thing..


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## needacure (Jan 28, 2002)

After being with my girlfriend for 4 years she is quite understanding about the whole situation of IBS. Sometimes I feel I let her down because I dont want to go out often due to not wanting to feel sick. It is quite scary to think you might mess yourself because as you would probably know thats how it feels often. But somehow it never happens. I know in myself it comes mostly down to nerves and I often find myself trying to get nervous way before I go anywhere just in the hope that i will empty myself and have a trouble free night. Some foods have no effect, I dont know whether they just agrre with my stomach or I just think they do. I am starting to find that regulating my breathing or thinking about something else helps. I seem to find that the only time I dont need to go to the toilet is when I am there. Lately I have been applying for new jobs and the stress of that situation during interviews is worry that you may have to excuse yourself at the risk of looking bad to the employer.I could probably write more and I have got way of the topic of this post. Anyway I am new to this forum so through this free flow of communication I hope I can help myself and probably anyone out there to help with cope with this problem.


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## agent99 (Feb 1, 2002)

If the person's nice then they'll understand and not think any the worse of you. During a bad attack I snap at my boyfriend constantly, keep him awake at night and upset him by acting so miserable and distressed. But he realises it's because I'm ill and does the best he can. Sometimes, to my shame, I find myself going "You don't know what it's like!!" and pushing him away, but he'll just say "No, I don't, but I can see it hurts and I'm really sorry." A partner should be the best support you have.


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## Courtney (Mar 4, 2002)

I have a suggestion that helped me a bit. I am on Lomitil 5 times a day plus I take advanced immodium when I am going out. There are still accidents but I keep a spare pare in my purse. Then nobody has to know!!!!


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## lindsay* (Jul 23, 2000)

i'm with courtney. i keep immodium in my purse and always have a bottle of water. i take at least one immodium before i go anywhere. i'll also eat bland before i go on a date.


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## star (Dec 7, 2000)

I totally know what you mean I have just started dating this guy and the whole "what if" thing is killing me. Plus I have no idea when the right time to say anything about this would be... I don't want to say anything until I know that I might actually want to go out with this person and even then I don't know if I will be able to bring myself to say anything. I have only told my closest friends about this. Any suggestions?Star


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