# Desperate!!!



## Jessica Espinoza (Oct 27, 2002)

I don't have a social life because I dare not get too close to people. I find myslelf turning down most food invitations from other friends. Because of that, I spend most of my time by myself and find myself sick of boredom. I'm lonley and need friends, but I can't seem to get myslef close to the crowd and I feel like a coward. I just fear being misunderstood when the pressure of diarrhea is real. Yet I'm too lonely by the reality of it. What should I do? I can't bring myself to tell people either, even though I desperatly want to. I want to cry.







It's not my fault, but sometimes people make it seem as if is 100% my fault and that makes me want to keep it to myself. I'm stuck!


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## Kestrel (Dec 19, 2002)

Hey! I'm so sorry you're feeling so down right now. About 2 months ago I was getting really depressed about the same thing, never going out etc. I decided to take matters into my own hand! WAHAHAHA!







I decided that since I'm going to have this for the rest of my life and I want to lead a happy and fulfilling one I'd better suck it up and try to get out at least. I've explained my IBS to a couple of my closeset friends and now when I got out I make sure at least one of them is with me. That way if I have to run out of the room, or off the bus...then someone is with me and can also help make explanations to others so I'm not always stuck doing it. This really helps. I find going somewhere on my own still really stresses me out but going out w/ at least one person I know...even if I don't know ANYONE else really helps.







I've been having super bad IBS-D attacks for the past two weeks and I'm getting pretty friggin' sick of it right now, but tonight I'm going bowling! With friends...on the other side of the city. I figure if I make it through tonight, I should have many worries in the future!







I really understand how you feel but you need to be brave! My councellor gave me this whole thing that I do before I go out that might help you. I really get caught up in the "What ifs..." and that's why I used to not go out. Now I got through the whole situation. For example, "What if I have a REALLY bad IBS attack while I'm in the middle of a bowling match w/ my friends?". Then I would say, "Well, if that happens I run to the bathroom, get aquainted w/ the stalls at the alley and go back out." If the attack is really bad tho I'll have enough money for a taxi home too. So all in all its not the end of the world. Its actually pretty managealbe. =D So then I feel better, don't worry so much and actually enjoy my night out. I'm sorry if I was rambling and you didn't understand any of it. Be sure you msg back if you want me to go over it again...hehehe...GOOD LUCK! If you were here I'd invited you out tonight and we'd stick it out together!







Don't cry!Hugz,Kestrel


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## Nikki (Jul 11, 2000)

I felt the same for a long time, but then i realised that if i didn't go out anyway i would waste the best years of my life stuck inside worrying. Anxiety is a disabling thing at times. You could help reduce that with Hypnotherapy www.ibsaudioprogram100.com thats what i did and it really does help!My stomach is not feeling to good today, but tonight is that last night of the showwe are putting on at university so i will HAVE to go weather i like it or not. I always find a way to get through it. My stupid stomach is the bane of my life but i will not let it control me.It really will put your mind at rest if you just tell a couple of your closest friends. Honestly, you'll be surprised.Hope you don't feel too sad







Spliffy


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## hermione2001ie (Mar 29, 2003)

Hi Jcervantes and KestrelI can relate to what both of you are saying...so much...I just feel like crying! My social life (or lack of) is being totally controlled by my stomach and its moods! But...it's not just my social life that is effected. Some days even going to work freaks me out - will I make it the 20 min car ride into work? Or going shopping - will i make the car journey etc...I find that wherever I go, I become preoccupied with "how will I deal with an attack" so much so that that in itself can induce one!For example, yesterday I was in the hairdressers, I was having colour put in which meant I would have to stay for a while. Well,then came the suddern urge to "go." My heart started racing, I went all hot and clammy, shaking etc. So after a few minutes I asked the hairdresser to use their loo! Which I found so embarrassing...especially when 5 mins later I needed to go again. I was too embarrassed to ask to go a second time, so I hung on, and freaked myself out more and my head was spinning thinking of which hotel/cafe/pub could I walk into in town to use their toilets!!I just wish I could go out like "normal" people do, and not have to map the whole thing out in terms of duration, availabity of toilets etc. I know what you mean about the what-ifs Kestrel, but I seem to be hung up on the solutions to the what-ifs!Ahhh, it was good to get that off my chest! Hope both of you are keeping well!!!


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## erin5983 (Mar 25, 2003)

Jcervantes, Try to find a couple of close friends you can confide in-- you don't even have to give details, you could even lie and say that sometimes you just feel nauseous and need to be around a bathroom because it would be awfully embarrassing to throw up. It's important to confide in at least one person because letting IBS control your life means you're letting some stupid disease control your life--don't let it! If it literally is debilitating, go to your doctor and just plainly spell out that it is so bad you are completely unable to leave your house and maybe they can suggest something, or maybe a combination of new medicines or something. I wish you the best of luck, but try to get out and go places that you KNOW have easy access to a public bathroom, like a mall. And find some friends that will understand, because if the ones you have now will not be understanding about your IBS, you deserve new friends! Hang it there.


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## Jessica Espinoza (Oct 27, 2002)

Your guys are really warm and comforting.







Just knowing there is people out there I can relate to eases the pressure a whole lot. Thanks so much because for a long time I thought nobody understood. I do not mention names because I'm not about to offend anyone by forgeting to mention them; but I thank each and every one of you for your inspiring advice because I feel better already.







I wish you all the best in your own pains. Don't forget to post when you need help. We're here for you too! *I still welcome your're insightful replies.*


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