# It's Back....I'm at my wits end



## overthis (Nov 9, 2007)

About 10 years ago I was diagnosed with stress induced IBS-D. It lasted steadily for about a year and then it went as suddenly as it came on. Over the years, whenever I encountered a very stressful event I would become symptomatic with the horrible cramping and mad dashes to the bathroom. But these episodes were few and far between and only happened under extreme stress. Lately however its returned, I knew what it was immediately with the horrible cramping in the morning and having to be in the bathroom forever just to feel somewhat safe to venture on with my day. I went back to my doctor and he insisted it was the IBS again - all other tests are fine and that I should try to manage it by relaxing without medication even OTC and only if no relief to try something like Immodium. Well I've been dealing with this for the past six months now and it is the same as before with the bad cramping, followed by explosive D...I am always attempting to hide my situation from my husband and daughter because this would not be acceptable in our family, life, social circle etc... for too many reasons to go into. So far I have accomplished hiding it very well. My husband and I both have separate bathrooms and of course my daughter has her own so that is not a problem. Also, it helps that he travels quite a bit.Lately however, its gotten worse. I don't know if its the stress of hiding this from my husband and daughter or what. This past month I've had a few public accidents. I am speaking to a psychiatrist about this as well but its really hard to follow his instructions as he also thinks its just stress induced and doesn't want to give me anything for my anxiety. The first accident happened at the club. I was meeting some friends for lunch then tennis when while I was waiting for my friends to arrive I felt the terrible cramping begin. Only this time -- I had no time to even attempt to get to a restroom. At the same time as the cramping I felt the D pushing down forcefully and I panicked so bad - because I was at the club and I knew if I embarrassed my husband he would really light into me. Well between the panicking I couldn't think straight and before I knew it I was messing myself. I literally ran to the parking lot -- thank goodness my friends had not arrived yet spread a towel on the seat and cried as I drove myself home. I won't go into all of the accidents this month -- but what made me write is because its getting to where its uncontrollable and I don't know what to do. Tonight while I was in bed (thank goodness my husband is traveling) I felt this really bad gas pain different from the cramping pain. I also suffer with the gas so I got up from my bed to stand up and try to relieve the pressure but then I messed myself bad. My underwear were absolutely filled and destroyed in just that one second and there was nothing I could do to stop or control this. Not more than an hour later after showering etc..I'm in the parlor on the sofa reading and I feel the same kind of gas pain so this time I became really panicked because the nearest bathroom would have been to far but as I jumped up a whole flood of gas came out and nothing else. I was soo relieved. However about 15 minutes after that I again got that gas feeling and stood up just in case to dash to the bathroom--but as I was trying I didn't even get two steps I knew it wasn't just gas but it hurt so bad that I don't know if I thought I should let a little out or if it pushed out but either way I froze up I guess I knew I wouldn't make it to the bathroom and messed myself again this is twice for tonight. I am at my wits end. Has anyone experienced anything similar here? One minute its gas next minute you've had an accident? I'm starting immodium tomorrow to try to control things. The other day I was walking the grounds and it came on me just that quick...I managed to get to the garage and I was so desperate not to go on myself that I went in a waste basket. I can't believe I've just told you guys this but hoping you guys can share your experiences. I just need the support this evening. I apologize if I've been to descriptive.


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## overitnow (Nov 25, 2001)

Boy, this sounds so much like what I used to go through, from the gas that wasn't to the hiding it from your partner, it just breaks my heart reading it. I used to be close to tears, especially when I was working at home and still couldn't get to the toilet in the next room in time. In my case, it wasn't stress related, but rather just plain bad choices in diet and cigarettes that seemed to have destroyed my digestion and bowels. Fortunately, I found something that has corrected the problems those choices created; but I have never forgotten the level of desparation that accompanied all of this.I wish you the best in finding an answer, and soon.{{{{HUGS}}}}Mark


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## Patient (Jul 5, 2007)

Hey Overthis,How terrible, I know just how you feel. I'm having an episode like this tonight, I have to run to the bathroom every time I so much as feel my stomach grumble, to keep from having an accident. Last time it was a photo finish.It is so embarassing, and more then frustrating, to have to deal with it when you're out in public. Just a week ago me and my mother had gone to the mall to get some new clothes, and while we were in the dressing room trying things on gas began to build up. Well, needless to say, I know that is a sign that I'm about to need a restroom, but I waited as long as I could for her to finish up trying on the clothes she'd picked out. It was taking forever, and I got to the point where I felt I was going to loose it any second, so I threw the shirt I'd picked out over the door and told her I'd be in the car before I got sick. I was waiting for the longest time out there, but at least if I had an accident, it'd be where I was alone and not in the middle of a crowded store.Don't worry about being too descriptive or what you tell us, most everyone here can sypathize with what you're dealing with. It's tough, I know, but keep your chin up. You might try taking Immodium when you go out, normally that is a godsend for me.Hope you get to feelin' better and keep your chin up.Patient


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## overthis (Nov 9, 2007)

I just had my third shower of the night after yet another (yes third) accident this evening. I feel like just killing myself. I literally can't control it. I feel a very gaseous and I get too scared to move when I try to get up the gas shifts and pushes every thing out. I can't take this. This is the worse day I've had so far. I really try to control or at least stop it so I can get to the bathroom. I tried holding my legs together and putting my hand against my bottom. I even try squeezing together but I guess it's too weak because I can literally feel it gush through like I'm not even trying even though I'm trying real hard to keep it in. I don't know if I aggravated something tonight by what I ate. I had barbecue brisket with a salad with balsamic and just a little nuts and a glass of wine. I don't know maybe ate too much and it aggravated my system. I just don't know what to do.


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## Patient (Jul 5, 2007)

Chances are it's probably just something you ate, or the combination of the things you ate. I know that BBQ really lights me up, along with salad, and wine can do the same if I drink more then a sip of it. Alcohol is generally something I try to stay away from because it has such potential to tear my night apart. Sometimes I can drink more, but sometimes I can't even have a sip without regretting it five minutes later. Do you have anything you can take to reduce your pain right now? Pepto bismal, Immodium, Kapectate (can't spell it, but whatever), or anything else? Gah, hope you get to feeling better. I'm in the same boat as you right now though, so you're not alone! It feels like I've gotten rid of everything in my system, but then I gotta go to the restroom *again*. Ugh, this is so annoying.


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## Thai (Aug 22, 2007)

overthis,I feel your pain. For me, your supper last night would activate things but not to the degree that you are describing.Any chance you have contacted a bug? As in stomach virus. Or the brisket was bad? Not to insult your cooking or safety practices BUT it just sounds all so violent to me.Maybe a combination of all of the above?Hope that today is better.Thai


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## NatureNut (Jul 21, 2007)

Overthis, you are not alone, and don't feel bad about what you are going thru, there are a lot of us out there...glad you are here to talk with us! I've had IBS D since I was a kid (I'm 51 now), and there are times when it gets uncontrollable, like you described, and I simply can't stop it or control it, or even get to the bathroom on time. I hope that you don't mind me saying this, but I think that your husband needs to maybe see a psychiatrist and not you...if he would be upset over you having IBS, then he has the problem and not you. Sorry, I just had to say that, because I have run into quite a few insensitive people in my years of dealing with IBS. Also, I hope you can find a good gastro doctor that can help you manage the IBS, altho I hate to say it, I haven't had any luck in that area. I know there are some foods that I have to avoid, but there really isn't anything that actually triggers my IBS D, at least not food. But stress does really do me in, and that can trigger an attack. In fact I have been home sick all week long with a major IBS D attack. If you find a caring gastroenterologist I think you should make your husband and your daughter both go with you to talk to the doctor....IBS is an awful thing to have, and you cannot control it. I mean, would they get mad at you if you had a heart problem or cancer? I hope you feel better soon, maybe a second opnion from another doctor, just to make sure you don't have something else? Reason why I say that, my sister and my nephew both have colitis, and my nephew ended up with ulcerative colitis and ended up having his entire colon removed...have you had a colonoscopy done? I had one a few years ago, and I would definitely get one done if you haven't had one. Colonoscopies are nothing to worry about, they put you under with a drug called versed and you don't feel a thing.For the cramping pain my doctor prescribed Bentyl, and that does seem to help once in a while. And, to control the D somewhat, I take Imodium, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Let us know how you are doing.


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## 19506 (Oct 7, 2006)

You really need to see a good gastroenterologist. Meanwhile try this (copy and paste):www.mayoclinic.com/health/fecal-incontinence/DSECTION=1


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## rhonalomey (Aug 15, 2005)

I also had a dr who wouldnt help and changed drs and my life changed. OT C s work very well mebeverine or buscopan, psyllium fibre, anti anxiety like trepilen,e and best of all hypnotherapy.,Immodium as often as necessary. Evryone finds something to help so why shouldnt you. It really is a matter of trial and error and slow start with fibre, antispasmodics are great and you can get a lot of help with all these meds.


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## overthis (Nov 9, 2007)

Thank you for all of your kind words. Last night was literally hell for me. I thought I would go insane. I got all of one hour sleep. While IBS-D is not a new occurance for me the accidents are and I'm scared stiff because I don't know what to do. Yes, I know my husband is a bit insensitive -- its just that he is so busy and he really does not need to deal with this right now. I know he really is just not knowledgeable regarding what I'm going through but he has called me up on lacking self control (he's big on that) once before and I just don't want him to find out about this. Suffice it to say he would not be sympathetic and my nerves are bad enough. I am so humiliated I went again this morning partially in my underwear but I just kept running to the bathroom and finished in the toilet - this is so disgusting. I felt like I was on there for hours and this morning it was wave after wave of D and vomit. I messed the floor with vomit and the closest thing in arms reach I could find at hand to throw up in was a leather magazine holder which had to be completely thrown out. After all this I had to make sure my bathroom was spotless before the cleaning people arrived I wanted to make sure they did not notice anything out of order -- I had to hide the clothing I threw out last night and the magazine holder under another sack of garbage. I know I can't keep this up forever. I'm so scared of when the next attack will hit and if I would be able to control myself long enough to be a lady about this -- My mother had a weak stomach her entire life but was never messy and out of control like me. And I have to admit that yes, I am scared of my husband finding out too. I would only say this on this board because I am anonymous and among other people who might be able to empathize.


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## overitnow (Nov 25, 2001)

The vomiting also makes this sound as though it could be something viral, rather than just IBS. I caught the Norwalk Virus a couple of years ago and it led me through a particularly awful week with the first night much like you described. In my case, Pepto helped greatly. You might want to give your doctor or Public Health a call, just to see if there is something like this in your area.Mark


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## NatureNut (Jul 21, 2007)

I think it is real important that you get in to see a gastroenterologist as soon as possible. Also, like was already mentioned, it could be a viral thing too, and sometimes when I get the flu (like that Norwalk virus) it triggers my IBS too.....so it's like a double whammy. Perhaps pick up some information on IBS/colitis for your husband and daugter to read some time when they aren't quite so busy, the stress from trying to hide your IBS may only add to more stress-induced flare-ups of IBS for you.


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## Thai (Aug 22, 2007)

Watch that you don't get dehydrated now with the vomitting added to the mix.I wish to repeat that this is sounding more like a bug or bad food to me.And as has been said, if this is the case, then it will aggravate the IBS as well..........as if one isn't bad enuff, right?Thinking of YouThai


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## Johnny D. and C. (Feb 21, 2002)

overthis I agree with Thai it sounds like the vinegar and especially the salad. I have a tough time digesting salads. Vomiting is not really a symptom of IBS at least not in my case. See a Dr. and in the mean time see Linda's pinned post above about calcium. It works great to limit D. Also get the breath test for H-pylori, could be the cause of these sudden symptoms. Good luck


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## anne71 (Sep 30, 2007)

overthis,I'm so sorry for your situation. I have the same problem with accidents and it can be so demoralizing. I wear pads so that I can go out without be scared of accidents. I also have vomiting on occasion. With me the vomiting comes from the cramping. It's like the cramps are through my whole digestion and make me feel like throwing up. I also think the vomiting is stress related for me. I actually keep a bowl under my bathroom sink so that I have something to vomit in if my D cramps cause it while I'm on the toilet. Luckily, the vomiting has decreased as I've changed me diet and looked for ways to control the stress and anxiety. Michael's hypnotherapy CD has a track explaining IBS for loved ones. Maybe this is worth a try. The CD's have helped me with the anxiety and worry of accidents. I still have them, but I feel less depressed.


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## Dasty (Nov 9, 2007)

Hi,My heart goes out to you as i know exactly how you are feeling unfortunately i can't offer any solutions as am in exactly the same situation.What i would suggest is that you buy time by explaining to both your husband and daughter that u are having problems with yr gut and that way you can avoid social functions in the short term while you hopefully find a solution.It can be quite daunting dealing with the problem alone although you have to be careful who you tell and how much but i wld think yr family shd be understanding(i hope).I have had my problem non-stop for last 7yrs and i always get encouraged when i read about people who had periods of respite, i wld give anything to have even the briefest period of calmness.I have recently moved to a different country/office and have this constant gas/D and leaking yet i work in this small office with lots of people who am sure don't understand my problem and probably think am just uncooth.I go thru' the day trying not to embarass myself and barely get any work done.I have gotten to the point where i have considered suicide as nothing i ve tried has helped.My life is at a standstill and unless i can find a solution soon i may lose this job which ordinarilly is a great opportunity.I hope your condition gets better as it did first time round, otherwise hang in there.....


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## DeeDee (Sep 30, 2004)

I am so sorr to hear yu ae gng throgh thisI, too, am aving a time right nowLately thee are times when can not get to the bathroom in time, and I ed up cry9ng , and askig Go o help me, as I can not tae tisany moreI got a snus infection,and was taking antibitoics and that mad things even wose o talked t te dresteray and heaid sop those atiiotics now, as hey ae earing your colonpI akebenty half hou befoe I at each ml, and he told me the next thing to do is stroids and tht really meses up your ststemI gt so frustated,I could jst sceam. LatelyI have not been going to any oial evens, ad feel guilty, but can not take a chace if I hppen to have to run to the bahroom and canno mkeitMy rother in lawha a bowel obtruction in June, nd he as in ICU fr 9 weks.My siste saydwith usand we went to ee him everyday, onlyto see him get wrse, and in August w lost him. He was 61My dr. told methat is whathas trn up my IBS s uch, stess, and I tol hm I as taking zanex, and he old me o increase itIam beside myselg tooso I now exactly wha you are oging throughI take imodiu but many timsthat does not even helpThre ought t e a c for thisIt is orrible t have.Ture things coldbe wose, and I couldhave something wose, but believe me this is notfunGod luck and y heart oes ot toyuWe seem to all have gonethrough this, so no apologies, just hugs


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## ceb2 (Dec 3, 2007)

HelloI am so sorry to hear about your situation. I do hope you are feeling betterI and other members of my family have the same accidents. I know how embarrassing this can be. Fortunately, for me, my family is vey understanding. There are times that I won't leave the house because of this. There have been times when I was walking my little Maltese & had to pick him up and run home. I am thankful that he only weighs 5 lbs. as I only weigh 86 lbs. at the moment. I'm sure some of the neighbors wonder why I am running up the street carrying my dog.There are times when I wear the pads made for urinary incontience. At least it gives me a bit of moral support as well as protection.I just wish the drs. could be more understanding about IBS. There are so many suffering people and they can just about offer us nothing that helps.


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## jeffs (Dec 10, 2007)

Hi All:I was diagnosed with IBS-D in my late 20's. I am 40 years old now. My brother has it too. I notice that I have a worse time of it whenever my schedule gets changed. So this means, that I usually have flare ups around Christmas time and summer time (I am a teacher.) I am usually fine as long as my schedule of classes is pretty constant. I have had accidents. I used to to get upset about it but it is just par for the course at times. I am really suffering this weekend with it but I think I may have some type of stomach bug that has set it off as my wife was sick with something like this last week and I was taking care of her. I can control the symptoms with Anti-Depressants and watching what I eat. I just wanted to say that I can sympathize with your predicament. I wish your husband and family were more understanding though. There are times when I cannot leave the house and my wife would like to but she understands as she has seen how badly I can suffer with this at times.Jeff S.


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## thickthighs (Dec 10, 2007)

i also want to express my empathy with youi jave gotten nauseous at times when my IBS-D was at its worse..but thank goodness i have never had accidentsi run back in forth to the bathroom in the mornings..thank goodness i live alone..no one would be able to get in the bathroomi also have to run back and forth during religious services on sundays..this can be a paini realize i have to put up with it...i take levisin and it helps with the pain and calcium for the diarrhea...usually after i go 3-4 times in the morning im ok,but i DO NOT eat while im out..dont want nay accidents..just the thought of having an accident makes me feel like i gotta go


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