# Ok this is runing my life, not sure what's going on, please advise if possible



## EK0502 (Aug 26, 2013)

I am 19 years old, I have had internal hems for about 3 years now. It started off tiny in size then slowly over the course of these last 3 years it has grown worse and worse, with more than one sprouting, but as a nervous and embarrassed teenage boy I ignored it, they are small soft blue/purple lumps with the biggest being about the size of a malteaser.

Now, that brings us to the year 2013, around about early June of this year, I randomly started to feel very paranoid about being around people as I felt like the hems had got to the size where cleaning the area properly was almost impossible. I kind of "sensed" people noticing it on the bus and in class, it seemed to get worse when sitting down and being around people. However I couldn't do much about it at the time as I was packed with work for my course, I thought "perhaps it is in my head". But then, one day I was sitting on the bus, not really thinking about it, my stop was coming up so I stood up and quickly another man sat down, again I took no notice, then when I reached the front of the bus I noticed he had moved and a teenage girl had sat on the seat instead, I patiently looked at her and could have sworn she was frowning with a crinkled nose. "Oh god no" I thought. Then to make matters worse as soon as I exited the bus, I looked in the window and seen her quickly moving to the front of the bus to stand up instead of take the spare seat, I felt so ashamed and ever since I have suffered with this paranoia about going ANYWHERE, the next time I noticed it being acknowledged was at work, we were sitting being briefed on the day ahead and I noticed one of my SUPERVISORS sniffing, then sniffing her new jacket, I knew right away, then another supervisor whispered to her "can you smell ****" with her nodding, I went through the day depressed and feeling guilty. I tried the usual home remedies to shrink hems, apple cider vinegar, witch hazel, more fruit etc... and it never worked.

This is when I finally decided to go to the doctors, the first woman I seen was really meh about it and barely wanted to listen, as soon as I mentioned the word "piles" she quickly wrote a prescription for suppositories and said goodbye. Well after a week, they done absolutely nothing. I went back and seen another doctor, he had a look and said he couldn't see anything which is crazy as I have seen multiple large hems popping out of my anus which virtually block the passageway meaning toilet paper doesn't work and only wet wipes do ANYTHING, he got me an appointment for a "rigid sigmoidoscopy" to see if they could find anything wrong with me. The day came and after being seen to 45 minutes after my appointment time, I sat a further 10 minutes in the doctors room waiting for her to arrive, at first she was relatively nice and helpful with questions such as "is there pain? how often do you have a movement? what is your diet like?", you get the idea.

Then the procedure came, keep in mind what I said about the advanced swelling making it hard to get toilet paper into the area to clean, and she happily (fair enough doing her job) punched a steel pipe right in there which I believe acted as a camera, I don't know, she never mentioned the procedure of a "Sigmoidoscopy" before giving me one, she didn't say anything at all about it and I didn't know when it was about to happen until she put it in. It was absolutely agonizing and she didn't say a word to me while I lay wriggling in pain with loud and horrifying groans. She promptly pulled it back out and said "ok get dressed".

Back at her seat, she said "Well I can't see anything other than a few piles, but they aren't big enough for me to bother doing anything to"... I felt tears coming on, I quickly said the main reason I'm struggling to clean the area is due to these hems, and that it was nothing to do with the "sigmoid" colon area (I still can't figure out why I was sent for that humiliating procedure when I said it was just on the inside of the anal wall). She quickly changed and with an absolute condescending and patronizing tone snapped "well I suggest you just eat more fruit then". I tried again to explain my problem but was just so fed up and sick of trying to explain I broke down in tears. I'm a 19 year old male and in the space of 5 minutes I had a steel pipe inserted into my rectum and was now in tears, you could imagine how this left me so uncomfortable and pathetic feeling. She had absolute no sympathy and just raised an eyebrow with her arms folded and said "I haven't seen anything to suggest you need anything done, so just you go for a bowl movement when you need one and eat fruit with fibre.... when you leave the exit is to the right, cya".

I have stopped working as I will lose my job if people continue to notice anyway, I have stopped going out to socialize as I can't do it without panicking about the odor... and most importantly I have decided to give up my university place that I spent 2 years working hard to get as I can't bring myself to go through a course with this humiliating problem with no way of knowing how to make it go away now the NHS have basically said "we can't find anything wrong, now go away".

I wondered around the public park trying to get myself together before coming home, and here I am now, posting this... Would love to speak to people with similar problems to mines. Thanks for reading.


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## Intothewild (May 11, 2010)

Are you sure its the hemmorhoids thats causing this? Has anything else happened with your bowels? Like change in frequency, type of stool etc? If you cant clean it properly then i suggest doing something like after you have a bm and wipe the best you can with wet wipes then get in the shower and use the shower head and try and go as far up as you can with that and see if that makes any difference.


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## EK0502 (Aug 26, 2013)

I only use wet wipes now or soak the toilet paper.

And I've never been properly "diagnosed" with hems as my GP's haven't looked and the woman who done the procedure was only looking deep inside to the sigmoid and I think after I mentioned the hems she just made up bogus advice since she knew she hadn't looked properly, the whole sigmoidoscopy only lasted for about 15 seconds, which seems very very short. I have looked with a mirror, and what I see is swelling around the opening of my anus, the main one is about the size of a malteaser, possibly slightly smaller... and has a blueish colour to it. I'm waiting to see the GP again who said he'll simply send me back to the hospital, I'm worried I'm just going to go in circles unless I can convince someone to just cut them out of me. I've even considered DIY ligation using dental floss.

I've tried the shower head thing, that was actually the day it flared up at work so that was no good.

In terms of stool type change, since getting to the size they are now, only little chunks of whole stools have been able to squeeze through with the rest of the stool just resting a few inches deep inside the rectum, I suspect this is the main cause of the odor as it simply can fit through and I can't exactly push it back up... then every now and then it will manage to squeeze through but that only solves the problem until the next stool forms...

I have been tanking down benefiber and prune juice which has helped the "frequency" of needing to go to about 2 times a day but that doesn't help the problem of not getting the "whole" stool out.


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## thickthighs1 (Apr 12, 2013)

Sorry how cruel some Dr's can be and also so condecending.I had a gastroenterologist who was like that. When I told him about the smell he said 'to wipe better', no one else has complained of this" ..like I was making it up...Obviously I now have another gastro.

I give myself an enema every day.This morning I was REALLY constipated so I did it three times. This helps me clean out, so I don't "feel weird" when I'm around people.

Also try a spoonful for olive oil every day to help the stool come out more smoothly.

I hope you GP listens to you.and recommends another gastro was hd patience and tact.Tell him what you went through.

When I had my colonoscopy, they put me to sleep to go up there..sorry you were awake and had to suffer the humiliation and pain.

Keep us posted.


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## EK0502 (Aug 26, 2013)

I'm wondering if perhaps "plugging" my rear end with toilet paper before leaving the house would help. Anyone tried this?


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## Maria Slan (Jul 16, 2013)

No, not work. stop sugar, dairy, fruit. It is the best to eat only rice and chicken, fish w/o oil, spice, salt. Find some free-sugar probiotics and ACV and take them before meals. this is more effective


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## EK0502 (Aug 26, 2013)

I've tried putting ACV on the pile to shrink it, never worked, tried drinking it and it was just to horrible... might try it again.


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## Maria Slan (Jul 16, 2013)

use it with probiotics, guy. u cannot use it alone, it may feed the bad bac/yeast instead. if u cannot stand ACV taste try to dilute w water. and if it is possible, 1 garlic clove every morning before meal, chew and swallow. (garlic is prebiotic, antifungal, antiviral, antibacteria)


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## EK0502 (Aug 26, 2013)

I've been using liquid witch hazel (dipping a wet wipe in and sticking it in the rear end) and it doesn't hurt or burn or anything...

Today I bought some witch hazel "gel" to try for a change and it burns mildly when applied to the swelling, anyone had experiences with witch hazel like this?


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