# too young for all this



## tiredofbeingill (Aug 23, 2012)

I'm 17 and have had bad ibs-D for years now. It's so horrible to live with, as i'm sure you all know. I don't feel like anybody really understands what i'm going through, and most of the time i'd rather not tell them anyway because of how embarrassing it is. All my friends are busy being normal teenagers, going out drinking and having fun, going on holidays together, and it's not fair because I can't do any of that. I just feel like i'm missing out on being young just because of my stupid body and it's not fair. It's ruining my whole life, there's no way I could be in a relationship right now because of how bad it is, and when I have tried to be with people it's been more stressful than it's worth just trying to make them understand that it's not my fault when I cancel on them or can't stay round their house. I've had to quit college, and i'm supposed to be starting again in september but i'm still no better so i'm not sure i'll be able to. I've managed to get a part time job in my village pub which is great, and all the people there are lovely, but I still feel so bad when I have to ring in sick and let them down, because I don't want to be doing that, i just want to be normal and working as much as I can so I can get the money! It's ruined my social life because I hate going out with anyone other than my best friend because it's too stressful and embarrassing if I'm ill while i'm there. It's just ruined my life and I've lost all hope in having a future that's worth living. I read somewhere the other day that 'Ibs doesn't kill you, but it makes you wish you were dead' that is so true. I just don't know what to do anymore. Help!


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## Jake123 (Jul 5, 2012)

Hey,Trust me, I feel your pain, I bet we all do. When I first started having symptoms I had no idea what was wrong with me. I was hoping that is was a temporary thing, like some kind of flu. When I later found out that my symptoms pointed towards being IBS and that I may have them for awhile, believe me, it was hard. I too fell into a depressed kind of state where you just can't stand the pains. But the goal is to overcome that stage. I know this seems hard to do because, like you said, your life has made a dramatic change but it can be done. I learned over time what I needed to do to help control my symptoms, like watching what and when to eat and making sure to keep up on drinking plenty of water. I eventually found a plan that works for me, and once I did I was able to move on so that it would not impact my life in such a dramatic way.I am 19 and in college, so I can relate to your concerns. Yes, my social life was impacted at first, but I am able to make up for it by having my close friends to hang out with. I also try and take it in small steps, eventually you no longer worry too much about it. Now, my friends don't even know that I have IBS, all I have ever told them is that it is a "stomach condition" that can flare up at times. This is all I had to tell them, and they understand when I have these "flare ups". It is great to have friends that are understanding. Plus I understand... It can be hard to tell people what's really going on. As far as relationships, I haven't had much luck. But that is probably just me







. It can be hard for me because I don't like to drink, which means I don't typically go to parties, which means I don't meet potential dates. Now I know this isn't the only way to meet people but I've accepted this and now I try meeting people through my classes and through different clubs on campus. You said that college was difficult for you, and I can relate. It can be difficult sitting in class, or taking an exam while having to worry about having an "issue" or an "attack", but I have actually just found out that by talking with my university they are willing to make accominadations to help me reduce my symptoms while taking exams. All they wanted was documentation from my doctor and some other paperwork and now they want to have a meeting with me to further discuss what can be done to help me. I would strongly recommend this! It really does help! I know that it may seem weird telling your university about your IBS but it will pay out in the long run. Now I'm not sure if this would be the case for you in the UK but I'm guessing that it should be the same.I'm impressed that you are able to have a job! Good for you! That's a good sign! That to me shows that you will be able to control your symptoms and get on with life. Remember to think positively on the whole situation. IBS will not always be as it is for you today. You will eventually learn how to control it, and as time goes on it will lessen to the point that you might not think as much about it.Remember your future is always worth living, but your future is what you make it. If you keep living in a depressed state, that will carry on in the years to come. Trust me, this is coming from experience. If you need help or just want to talk, that's what we are all here for. And the beauty of it all is that we can all relate to each other and understand what we are going through. Plus, if you want, you can always feel free to message me, I'm always willing to listen Good luck to you, I'm sure things will all work out. Hopefully you will learn what you need to do to help reduce your symptoms and once you do, things will become a lot better.


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## KittenMama (Sep 11, 2012)

I can really relate. I've had IBS with alternating diarrhea and constipation since I was an infant, so it's impacted literally every stage of my life. I'm 19 now, in my third year of college.-There was a period of about 6 months when I had no symptoms at all (probably because I drastically reduced how much I ate - which wasn't healthy). I went out, to concerts, to parties, with friends and had a boyfriend. Let me tell you - it's not all it's cracked up to be. Yeah, it's fun at first but it certainly isn't as glamorous or entertaining as in the movies. It is nice to get out once in awhile though, and don't worry, you have plenty of time to experience a busy social life - who knows, maybe you'll have a remission soon.-Are there any online schools available? I've done three years of college and am about to do three more, completely, 100% online. I could have never gone to college on campus, every day, with the pain I have







. Also, some universities have special services for students who have medical conditions preventing them from going to class. It's worth asking about.-It's great that you can work - I'm glad that you aren't letting IBS hold you back from that. Even if you have to take time off now and then, it's a major accomplishment It's definitely dreadful to have this disease, but there is always a glimmer of hope. There are good days! They may be few and far between, but it's up to us to see that they're worth it. It's easy to get into a real depression thinking about having IBS. I definitely get depressed often. And that's okay - we have a pretty bad disease, so we are allowed to be sad about it!Still, if it's making you seriously depressed, that's no good. There are special therapists that work with people who are in chronic pain, and many people with IBS see them. Best wishes


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## chimerical (Nov 1, 2012)

I know what you mean entirely, I'm 20 in my 3rd year of university. I was diagnosed when I was ten with post-infectious IBS but now I have type-A and honestly, it's not a life I'm really keen to live for the next 70 years. However, if I can offer anything to help, it would be this:

Recently, I learned that IBS falls under the disability of "chronic pain." I've registered with disability services, even though it nearly killed me to admit that something was wrong. It has definitely helped. I feel confident that my professor knows why I have to leave, and I get extensions on work if I need it, and notes sent to me after every class. And there are 30,000 undergrads at my university, so I bet in a smaller school it could be even more helpful.

Secondly, there are tons of us out there. I've been able to connect with two friends with IBS, each of them has a friend or two with IBS, and we've sort of become a close-knit circle of people who get it. Instead of going out, we'll have game night and stay in, party together. I'm proud to say that two of the girls are in really stable loving relationships, and it gives me hope that I could meet someone who isn't as disgusted by my body and its complete lack of functioning. (And yeah, it is really hard to meet people when you don't go out and you can't drink the way that people our age do). Tip for parties: get a drink, and just hold it all night. sip it slowly if you want. I have one friend who will pour me a shot of water when we do shots, he's absolutely wonderful.

Sometimes I think coming out as someone with IBS was just like coming out of the closet, but I feel so much freer now that I've told my close friends. It's hard, but people will understand.


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## WeirdBodySyndrome (Oct 22, 2012)

chimerical said:


> I know what you mean entirely, I'm 20 in my 3rd year of university. I was diagnosed when I was ten with post-infectious IBS but now I have type-A and honestly, it's not a life I'm really keen to live for the next 70 years. However, if I can offer anything to help, it would be this:
> 
> Recently, I learned that IBS falls under the disability of "chronic pain." I've registered with disability services, even though it nearly killed me to admit that something was wrong. It has definitely helped. I feel confident that my professor knows why I have to leave, and I get extensions on work if I need it, and notes sent to me after every class. And there are 30,000 undergrads at my university, so I bet in a smaller school it could be even more helpful.
> 
> ...


My IBS makes me slow and dumb quite often. So, I am a little hesitant to talk to girls. The one liners wont come easily and the girls wont be impressed. Nothing happens.
Can't even drink. no drinking, no dating....But, hanging on in the hope that it will go away for ever.Just a rant.


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## WeirdBodySyndrome (Oct 22, 2012)

Bobbatron808 said:


> I also changed who I socialized with. That seemed to have done the trick.


Yeah ! That can make a big difference. Thats why i hang try to out with people who are "strong", positive and funny even if they are in hard times.
Their exuberance rubs off on me.

Negativity is an infectious disease, very infectious. I try to stay away from it.


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## Getting Me Down! (Oct 29, 2012)

I feel it necessary for me to reply as im also 17, (female) from england, left college after the first year and couldn't go back this september, and also have no social life what so ever! ... Every days the same for me, i go to bed at night dreading what the next morning is going to be like. I wouldn't say mine is totally IBS-D ... but not far from it... i usually just pass stool in the morning (mushy, not always formed), but all afternoon i pass mucus and just a watery substance, but it causes me so much trouble with the constant urges and pressure i get in my bowel every 30 mins/1 hour ... Its dreadful i know exactly how you feel when you say you've 'lost hope and dread this being like it is for the rest of your life' ... because to be 100% honest, i feel like this too! .... However i went for a blood test last week, and they phoned me up 2 days later and said 'we want you to make a non-urgent appointment to see your GP regarding your blood results' ... So even though its 'non-urgent' ... i know they have found something, because i've had blood tests before and they never rang me when my results were negative. This most recent test i had was looking at/for Anemia, Full blood count (cells), inflammation, hormones, celiac, and my liver and kidney function.... But i have to wait until next tuesday (dec 4th) to find out what it is.... Hopefully its something that can be sorted and justifies why my bowels are ruling my life.... If the results have nothing to do with my bowel issues, then god knows how im going to go on like this.... i mist also add that anxiety does rule alot of why i have so much trouble with my stomach and bowels. So i could really do with some sort of therapy for that! x


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