# Social anxiety



## kiryakitty (Aug 16, 2003)

Don't get me wrong, I am a very social person, which just makes it that much worse to have IBS. One of my main problems, however, is that I get more symptoms (particularily C) when I'm around people. I get soooo anxious, and I can't let anything go. Does anyone else have this, and can you help me?-Kirya


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## Vicky Foster (Sep 15, 2002)

Hey again! *wave*I'm the same - i love socialising and seeing people yet i get anxious about my IBS flaring while i'm out with friends, and the more i worry the more likely it will be that i'll suffer.I've found that making my own way to social events makes things easier, but then not everyone has a car.I make sure i eat carefully throughout the day, take some medicine before i go out and keep some with me while i'm out so i can take some more if need be.The only way to get more confident is to push yourself. I was getting really scared to do anything last year because i always felt so ill, but now i find even if i feel ill, i will try and go out just for a little while so that i can prove to myself that i will be okay and nothing terrible is going to happen to me. It's also something to feel proud of if you go out despite not feeling good.I still find certain things hard and feel more at ease doing some things by myself so i can choose when to leave but it does get easier, i promise. (And yup, i still get bad days when i'm a nervous wreck and my stomach's in knots!)And remember, if you're with friends and you feel terrible, although it might be embarrassing, they should like you and care enough about you to make sure you get home okay.Keep going! xxx


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## tallgal (May 15, 2003)

I'm the same when I get anxious, but I let things go instead!! I have had enough though, but have let things get to such a level that I have lost my social confidence. I start my CBT sessions this afternoon and am really looking forward to tackling the issues that I have. My CBT reckons that I just have to get back out there, but she is going to help me through my anxiety, not by ignoring it and putting up with it, but by facing it and dealing with it, thereby reducing the anxiety slowly over time. DOn't get me wrong, I am not looking forward to this at all, but if I continue to hide away then I won't ever get better, and I am a 24 year old, I WANT A LIFE, so I am going to go and get mine back!


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## Nikki (Jul 11, 2000)

Yup, i do that too







I panic that something is going to happen and sit there on edge for the whole night.Hypnotherapy has helped with that though.Hope you feel better.Nikki


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## DrDevil (May 31, 2003)

SPARKLE!!That's amazing, i insist on making my own way anywhere too!! I have a mental map of all the publically accessable toilets around my area, mostly pubs, late at night its usually the hospital or any open supermarkets. Hate sundays late at night as only the hospital is open. Very very rarely need to use but it helps my anxiety to know. Mainly drive myself due to IBS anxiety, and party because i hate being driven as i dont trust anyone else







I also wont stay anywhere overnight if i can help it, as i need my space in the mornings to get on with ''things''.


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## JoanneThomas (Jan 17, 2002)

I'm with you all on this. I have had so much trouble going to "organised events" because of the worry of what "might" happen! I insist on Aisle seats at the cinema, theatre (when I get the courage to go at all) and even at weddings and meals out with friends I have to sit on the end of a row! Before a film starts I am up and down about 5 times! (Usually I am ok throughout and have sat through both of the Lord of the Rings films without having to leave during - go figure).I ended up going to see someone about it (psychotherapist) because it was getting difficult to go out at all (except to work). This helped a lot - I was referred by my GP.I thought my boyfriend wasn't really in tune with it all, taking it as a bit of a joke. Mut he booked us seats to the theatre for November and booked me an "easy exit" seat without me having to say anything.







If anyone queries it I say I get "claustrophobic" if trapped in the middle of a row. And I suppose it is not dissimilar as it usually like a panic attack.I too find it easier if I am not with other people. If going to an organised thing I take a little bach remedy to calm me down.The best thing I did was tell the people closest to me what was wrong. It was a weight off my mind and they have been so supportive.


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## anythinggold (Aug 15, 2003)

i can definitely feel for you all. i didn't go to my prom (although part of that was the fact that i graduated a year early so i hardly knew anyone going...) but i refused to spend umpteen amounts of money just to go somewhere and have a 90% chance of being miserable. now going to college i'm terrified of my roommates and what they'll think. it's four to a bathroom, but the bathroom is off of the common room, which could present odd situations. i think they all understand that i have stomach problems...saying that i have irritable bowel syndrome sounds awful, haha. a lady that i work with always jokes about how we should rename it "happy bunny syndrome" to make it sound better. but anyway, i digress. i hate social situations, and i absolutely am terrified about next year. even though my problem is mainly c, *and next year that should worsen* every week and a half or so, it evolves into d. oh well. i'll have my two hot water bottles and two heating pads (i also have horrible cramps) and hopefully they'll be out of the room a lot.


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## Vicky Foster (Sep 15, 2002)

Dr Devil, i think i'm just a control freak *hehe*I just don't trust myself or other people enough to let them ferry me around. I need to know that i can come and go as i please...or sneak away.I think learning to drive and having my own little car (heap) was the best thing i could've done to help my IBS related social issues. Now that i don't have to rely on buses/taxis or friends I'm far more outgoing, and can actually relax enough to have some fun!!!I'm taking it to Uni with me next month even though i should be able to walk most places...i think the stress of moving out and not knowing anyone plus having a lack of personal space is not going to be too good for my guts to begin with.


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## bad girl (Aug 19, 2003)

I'm nervous about social settings too, but I agree you have to just get out there. Your friends will think you have issues way beyond your IBS if you don't go out with them. Sometimes things do go wrong. Take your sense of humor with you where ever you go!Yesterday I went swimming with my boyfriend's fraternity. They drove us in vans, so I couldn't take my car. I freaked out because no one told me the roads were really curvy. (I have terrible motion sickness too) By the time we got there, I had to run into the bushes to throw up. Oh well. Frat brothers have seen worse! I ended up calming down and having a good time







Then we all went to a party (post shower of course) and my stomach was just churning. I sucked it up and had fun anyway. It was great to see all the students who went home for summer and the dancing was great.When in doubt, I go anyway!


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## bad girl (Aug 19, 2003)

One more thing: Don't be terrified of the college thing! College kids are gross and I guarantee you won't be the only one speeding to the bathroom. Whether its a hangover, anxiety, or IBS, we all spend a lot of time at the toilet.


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## ziggystardust00 (Aug 10, 2003)

I'm off to uni in September too and am so petrified of all these issues.The people to toilet ratio is really bad i know...and also going out etc... :S I'm really dreading it...


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## Vicky Foster (Sep 15, 2002)

Are you in halls? Are there no rooms available with ensuite facilities? I chose my Uni for two things - toilets and obviously a good course *hehe* but the first was definitely a top priority.Have a chat with your tutors/ accomodation manager - you'll be surprised by how helpful they can be.I'm still really nervous, but think how much crapper you'd feel if you didn't go. Most people love it by Christmas


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