# I need help. Seriously.



## ComplicatedLife (Mar 1, 2013)

I'm almost 23 and I have been suffering from IBS since I was 8. It took until I was about 12 for an actual diagnosis because no one believed me. Since my mood and stress level affects it, I seemed to have the worst of it when I was pitching a fit or didn't want to do something. My ENTIRE life, my parents and sibling called me a hypochondriac, told me I was "making" myself sick. Even after my diagnosis, I still get it. I'm getting surgery because I have been having trouble breathing since I was little. My mom always told me my throat hurt because I breathed through my mouth, but when I told her I didn't feel like I was getting enough air, she blew it off, because let's not forget, I'm just a big hypochondriac! My family is actually really loving and great, but they don't understand. They don't think it should affect me. My mom is the type who literally doesn't care what people think. She'll let a huge one rip in a crowded room without even blinking. My dad isn't affected by anything and my sister has had absolutely no issues with anything ever. She's "perfect". Anyways, so I have had IBS-D since I was 8, during middle school I would go to the nurse, she'd give me altoids and send me back to class, I would get near my classroom and have to go to the bathroom. Since I spent so long in there and I was so embarassed, I would go back to the nurse and pretend to throw up in her bathroom so she would send me home. I suffered with severe depression and anxiety since I was 13. High school, I missed so many days that I got expelled halfway through my sophmore year. I tried homeschooling because well, I'm a genius, and I did great except the school kept forgetting to mail my homework to the main office and I got Incompletes for the classes. After I had gotten expelled from my public school I started using drugs. I started smoking, drinking, smoking weed, then I started popping over the counter pills, and then started doing cocaine. I NEVER had an episode while I was high or drunk. I think that's why I kept doing it. My self consciousness, fear, pain, everything went away while I was high. I cleaned myself up when I was 17 and haven't done anything except drink since. When I was 19, I got pregnant and my IBS-D turned into IBS-C. I soooo prefer IBS-C! It's not that it's "better" just easier to hide. I had my son and 6 months later I found out I have hypothyroidism. Not sure if I got it while pregnant or if its hereditary, either is possible. Anyways, so along with my IBS, I am now unable to lose my baby weight and all of the other symptoms that come along with thyroid problems. When my son was 10 months old I left his dad for good reasons that I won't get into. When I left him, he said, and I quote, "You'll never find a guy who will deal with your IBS like I do." Obviously, I don't want a guy like that, but the comment from someone I loved still hits like a brick to the chest. It has been over 2 years since I left him, my thyroid still isn't under control, and last month I decided I wanted to get treated for my IBS because a month without going to the bathroom isn't healthy. BAD IDEA!!! That antidepressant she gave me cured me of constipation almost completely. I took it for 3 days and spent 3 ENTIRE nights in the bathroom. I quit taking it and now I seem to have a mix of both C and D. It varies and there seems to be absolutely no pattern. Should I see a therapist? I'm scared to work, date, start college. I can't converse well with people, I can't make eye contact, I'm always angry and irritated. I feel like my family, exes, and just life in general has messed up my head. I used to be a leader. I was outgoing, I loved sports, I had tons of friends and loved everything when I was younger!(Even spiders!) Now I have constant nightmares, I can't think, I can't socialize, I can't even pass an algebra placement test for college. Everything that I am and the "me" that I remember is gone. I have tried 3 different antidepressants and nothing is helping.

LET ME STATE HERE THAT I AM NOT SUICIDAL. I do not have thoughts of hurting myself. I could never do that to my son no matter how I'm feeling. He always comes first. I think I'm done. I just have no one to talk to. I'm still living with my parents which is killing me because they don't even really talk to me. They have no interest in my medical problems and until I'm financially stable, this is how it's going to be. I've come to terms with that. Any help or even justsomeone that can relate will be nice. Misery loves company! haha


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## KaitlynEFitch (Feb 6, 2013)

Hey girl, I'm 21 and I just posted a few minutes ago about my story, too.

Don't believe your ex when he said that no one else would deal with your IBS like he did... that's a low blow for him to say something like that. Trust me, I've been afraid to leave even horrible boyfriends because of the fact that I'm afraid no one will put up with it.. but everyone in my life is extremely accepting of it and they haven't left me because of it. Only 1 guy couldn't handle it, and we dated for a long time... he just passed away a year ago :'( ...

Anyway, I know what you mean about the depression. And anxiety. I have such horrible anxiety it's unreal. Only, for me, I only have IBS D. Never C. I wish for C... I love when I take too much imodium and I'm constipated (LOL). It's just the best feeling. I have diarrhea everyday- all day. Just normal for me at this point.

I'm really sorry your parents don't understand you. Mine are like that in a way. They know it's real, but they think that I just use it as an excuse... which makes me so INFURIATED I could (and do) cry... Just the thought ... Why would I WANT something like this? Other people that don't have it just don't understand what it's like. I want to be NORMAL.....


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## Moyes (Jun 3, 2009)

Yep been there or am there . It sucks but at least you have people around you that accept you for who you are and if they can others can too. 
The anxiety and depression can be crippling but it sounds like you have a very good reason to keep going and make things better at least for one of you.

As for your ex, hes a douche, hey that's why you left him!


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## Moyes (Jun 3, 2009)

Seriously I knew a girl a few years back. Had bad ibs c and lovely aroma to match. X amount of issues and had no problem in finding men that would take her on. Another girl was telling me how she had been single for years and though although men fell at her feet none were ever goof


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## Moyes (Jun 3, 2009)

Good enough and is now happiest shes ever been.

Sorry about the multi post new phone


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## lukewatson43 (Mar 13, 2013)

hiiiii
i read your post. i think you worried for something,or depression. it is just like a Heartburn.
so consult your Dr. Do some yoga.it will be keep your mind calm and
peaceful. Eat healthy meal and avoid junk food and take proper sleep.

everything is ok as soosn as time passed.

take care


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