# Help! Worried about wedding in July - i am the Bride!



## MCL (Jul 16, 2007)

Hi everyone,It's been a while since i've been on here. I joined when my IBS-D was really bad & i was in a very dark place. The advice & support on here was amazing & helped me through some tough times. My IBS itself is nowhere near as bad as it was 12 months ago, but the panic attacks are still there & this is my main problem. I'm getting married in July & i know i'd be bursting with excitement if i wasn't so worried about my panic attacks. I've been to the doctor who has given me something to take when i need it (can't remember the name!) & although they work, they make my very tired by early evening which i don't want on my wedding day!I think my main worry is the church ceremony. I know there are toilets that i could use if i needed to, this would be fine if i was just a guest, but how do i get away with it as the Bride?!Any advice would be welcome! I need to control my panic attacks more than anything - they are my main demons at the moment. I also know deep down that once i get over the initial fear i will probably be fine, but sometimes the panic attacks come from nowhere!


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## Guest (May 9, 2009)

Well how exciting - I'm glad you are feeling better.I've every sympathy luv - I still occassionally get panic attacks and you certainly don't want to be mithered by that, on top of everything else you need to get busy with.You need some sort of coping and/or relaxation technique don't you - why not have a goz on the CBT part of the forum - many folk have sworn by Mike's CD's. I can't confess having tried them - I believe there are about 100 sessions - so I suppose you'd need to get busy.Other than that - you need summat like yoga or meditation - I'm not best placed to advice you - perhaps somebody else can help. If you had a "tool" you could believe in - I'm sure you'd be grand.Have a wonderful, happy wedding - post a pic won't you.All the bestSue xxx


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## MollyB (May 3, 2009)

Weddings can cause enough anxiety without having to worry about getting to the bathroom. SueV gave some good advice regarding yoga and meditation. I have a therapist that I worked with on relaxation techniques. She made a CD for me that I used every morning before going to work. It helped just to hear her voice because I trust her. Hope you will seek a professional who can help you. If you live in a small town, perhaps Amazon.com would be a source for books or CDs.You can try this technique: think of your anxiety as a disease that you will overcome. When the panic sets in, find a quiet spot (the bathroom!), close your eyes, take some deep breaths - very deep breaths from the back of your throat, relax your shoulders, smile and picture that wonderful man you are marrying, and repeat his name very slowly over and over while still breathing deeply. Try this for about 5 minutes and continue to practice it even when you are not having panic attacks so you can become familiar with the peace it brings. Hope it helps. By the way......congratulations! Molly


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## nw0528 (Apr 17, 2009)

I was married in May of 2005 and had the same fears as you. I took Immodium that morning (and some xanax to calm my panic), and I have to say, it was the one day of my life so far where I felt 100% anxiety free and had NO D. Having said that, I had already thought of the worst - What if I had to run to the church restroom multiple times during the ceremony... Well...it's my wedding I thought. And those closest to me wouldn't care, although colleagues, etc. might wonder what was going on. Everything went fine. Interestingly, my best friend played violin in two weddings that summer and in one the husband vomited multiple times during the ceremony (on the altar, in front of everyone) and in another the husband passed out and had to sit for the ceremony... So, even people who don't have IBS can have difficult times on their special day.My advice is to be prepared (do relaxation techniques, take the meds. you have, put extra wipes and underpants in your purse, and talk with your matron/maid of honor/bridesmaids ahead of time). My service was an hour long and I made it! I actually enjoyed every moment of it!Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!Nicole


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## baz22p (Dec 1, 2008)

Congratulations!!!You have received some excellent advice so far. Although it seems very easy to say, my comment would be to ignore your fears and try to enjoy your very special day. As I've been married 3 times I can tell you that the day goes past so quickly that it seems inappropriate how much effort you ut in for just 1 day.The best approach I can recommend is to put all thoughts of IBS and panick out of your mind - if you do worry about it, you will find that the worry will start it off.Presumably, your groom wil know how you feel - can you not ask him to help you overcome this (as long as he doesn't have any 'issues' on the day)? My suggestion: everytime you gaze lovingly into each others' eye, which will happen frequently on the day, you can count to 10 together and laugh at the end. If you both do this together then it will not seem strange to the guests - and it may help both of you to be calm and enjoy the special day. Remember, we are all behind you with the very best of wishes.Have a great day!Baz


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## MCL (Jul 16, 2007)

Thank you all so much for the advice, there are so many things that you have suggested that i am going to try. I get annoyed as my IBS D is nowhere near as bad now as when i first joined. I find now that i have a month where i'm doing ok & because of that, i don't have any panic attacks...i almost feel normal! But then i have a day like yesterday, where we went to see a member of the choir we are having to discuss the music for the wedding. Felt fine, no panic attacks or anything & then all of a sudden as we are chatting to him in his front room i get the severe cramps & i had to run to his toilet which was right by the front room I had to go to a Christening today, & because of my episode yesterday i had bad panic attacks this morning & on the way to the church. Because of this i had to go a few times before we left but i was ok when we got there.I am getting married at 2pm (as late as possible!) as i knew it would give me time in the morning to sort my stomach out. I just get frustrated that sometimes i seem to be doing ok & all it takes it one bad day to take me back another 20 steps. Deep down i know i'll be ok, i just have to try & control my fear, but sometimes it's hard...the mind is a funny old thing!!Thank you all again for the help & advice....it's amazing just to talk to people who understand what it's like!xx


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## Guest (May 10, 2009)

Its a mental mind-set thing isn't it - fear builds on fear - but success builds on success - you say you are getting better - that must be a tremendous boost to your confidence but as I say, try and find some sort of coping technique. OK - so you had to rush to the toilet - its not the end of the world is it?Sue


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## magoo (Dec 4, 1999)

I can sympathize, I went thru the same thing when I got married - I was so stressed I actually wound up eloping to the Bahamas and later on had a small wedding at our church with a reception at our house. Anyways, my advise would be to immodium the night before and in the morning for the IBS-D and take an anti-anxiety pill the morning of. I would rather be a little tired than have panic attacks. Besides, people expect a bride to be jittery on their wedding day. No one would think anything of it. My brother spent the whole morning of his wedding in the bathroom he was so nervous and he doesn't even have IBS, everyone just shrugs it off as normal. Have fun and congrats!


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## Dixie_Girl82 (May 18, 2009)

I got married in May of last year. One year anniversary on the 31st. I can totally relate! I was freaking out on my wedding day, worrying about the same things. I ate a very light breakfast, some some cinnomin toast and orange juice. I have IBS symptoms that morning and took my meds and was fine until the wedding party and guests started to arrive and I had a panic attack and started crying. Luckly my Mom was there and helped me through it. I would suggested keeping some peppermint candy near by, it helps me sometimes. And if you can handle a light dose of xanx, I would try that. Just to calm you down a bit. That is what I use in stressful situations. I only take it when I feel like I need it.And I dont normally say this sorta thing, but if you have a friend that can get some marijuana, get some and have a small hit of that. Will help calm your nerves alot and keep your IBS in check during your big day.Congratulations! Let us all know how it goes.


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## Dixie_Girl82 (May 18, 2009)

Marijuana helps with the spasms in the stomach, it helps to calm the nervous and anxiety you can get too. So Ive heard...lol


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## jjm529 (Dec 22, 2008)

Congrats on getting married! I went through the same fears as you back in November when I got married. I can tell you whats really been working for me over the past 3 months. Maybe do this starting a few days before your wedding. Take 2 imodium advanced at night and 2 in the morning. I'm telling you I haven't felt this good in 3 years. Every once in a while I get some pain, but in 3 months I've had one bad day and it was still a walk in the park compared to where I was. I think there really is a difference between regular imodium and imodium advanced. I also was using Mike's CD's. They have really brought me to a calmer place. There is also a free podcast called Meditation Oasis on itunes. It's done by a woman named Mary Maddux. Download the one titled "Beyond Pain". It's fantasic







Best of luck to you!!


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## helpmeplease23 (May 19, 2009)

This posting was a Gosend for me. I was thinking of getting back into wedding photography (still wondering if I'm insane for doing it.) I was looking for some advice on how to get through weddings, so I can decide how/whether to procede. I usually suffer from IBS C, but when everything "kicks on", and it turns to IBS D, it can get bad. You guys gave some great advice. Congratulations on your wedding! I'm sure you'll make a beautiful bride. Now, if they can just find a cure for this stuff, we'd all be happy! http://www.ibsgroup.org/forums/style_emoti...lt/rolleyes.gif


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