# Confined to my apartment by IBS



## Celiac<3Elephant (Sep 12, 2016)

*Hi! My name is Sam, I am 24, female, and my life is completely ruled by my gastrointestinal issues. *

*My tummy history...*

I was diagnosed with *Celiac Disease *(gluten/wheat intolerance) when I was 2 years old. As I was growing up my stomach was fine as long as I stuck to my strict gluten free diet. During my teenage years (15-20) I developed eating disorders. *Anorexia* for the first few years and then* bulimia* into my early 20s. Once I recovered I started college and everything seemed to be going well until I started getting diarrhea suddenly and often. After 2 years of searching for answers I now know that I am not only Celiac but I also have *fructose malabsorption, lactose intolerance, and IBS (can't have caffeine or any fatty foods). *My doctor says my eating disorders are most likely the cause.

I use to live off of *Imodium, pepto bismol, and tums* but now I am on *dicyclomine* 4 times a day. The pills are working with my food issues, but anytime I get anxiety its like I'm not on any medication. Anxiety about everything and anything equals instant diarrhea multiple times about 20 minutes apart. I feel like my life is over.

Ive always had anxiety growing up. Doctors have told me that my anxiety most likely caused my eating disorders.* I have tried Prozac, Zoloft, Lexapro, and kolonopin.* But all of them had negative side effects. They increases depression, made me sleepy to the point where i was just a zombie. I just *haven't had positive results. *

I have *failed tests* because I need to use the bathroom and my teachers do not allow bathroom breaks (avoid cheating), so I have left early to keep myself from having an accident. My relationship with my boyfriend is *suffering* because I avoid everything social. I cant get excited about going anywhere or doing anything because my first thought is* "what if I have to use the bathroom?" "What if I have no privacy?" "What if I have an accident?"*. My IBS is driven by my anxiety. So 9/10 I do have diharrea when I go out because I am so nervous about getting sick that I do actually physically get sick.

I have dreams of going to Medical School and becoming a surgeon and having a family. But I cant because my IBS. I cant sit through tests, or do clinical hours, and forget about standing through a 7 hour long surgery. If I have kids i wont be able to sit though sport games or take them to the park or do anything social without having diarrhea. My boyfriend was with me before all my issues started and hes waiting for me to go back to "normal". If we don't work out how will I ever date again? With my symptoms I just dont know how im supposed to live anymore.* I am stuck in the small space that is my apartment.* The only place I feel comfortable, because I have a private bathroom nearby whenever i need it.


----------



## ims99 (Sep 25, 2016)

Sorry to hear i know what are you going through because I have similar situation. But my doctor gave me some meds which are working well to some extent. I hope you find the solution to your problem. Don't stress it triggers ibs. Talk to your doctor to prescribe you some anti depressants it works


----------



## Zulila (Sep 6, 2016)

I'm so sorry to hear all of this 

have you tried yoga, meditation, and meeting with a therapist for anxiety counseling? not meds, but actual counseling on behavioral adaptations to reduce your anxiety and avoid feeding into it.

also.. I have little knowledge of it.. but I've been hearing of fecal transplants as a last ditch but sometimes very successful route for severe, life-debilitating issues with IBS, inflammatory bowel, etc. Look it up and see what you think. It might be something worth meeting with a doctor who is willing to consult with you on.


----------



## Itsmillertime409 (Oct 11, 2014)

I've mentioned this in the past, but I've seen other IBS sufferers feel at least a little better by wearing adult diapers or pullups. You don't even need to use them; just knowing that you're protected in case of an accident helps reduce the stress of going out and doing your favorite things, and we know less stress = less flares. It takes a little bit of getting used to, but I think your quality of life would improve immensely if you're able to walk outside and know that you're protected in case you cant find a restroom in time.


----------



## caisva (Apr 30, 2016)

Hi Sam,

I know EXACTLY and I truly mean EXACTLY what you mean. My anxiety is the entire cause for my IBS-D. Like you I have taken several meds for it but have only experienced that "zombie" feeling. I am currently on Clonazepam 1.5mg. That is the amount that the Dr gave me because as if IBS-D wasn't terrible enough, I also have a heart condition that prohibits me from taking such meds as anxiety relievers. However, since my anxiety is at the point that I don't leave my house unless i'm going to a Dr, I take a bit more than what I am supposed to. I have confined myself to my home and deemed anything farther than 1 Kilometer, too far to go. It is 4:23am here in Toronto and I have been up since 3am. Few weeks ago, I was on 4 clonazepam and 2 Imodiums and thought "I need a job" So, I went online and signed up for a few. Long story short, I got one. My DREAM job. Literally, since i was 10 I have always wanted to work here. (currently 20) Tomorrow morning/today is my first day. I woke up at 3am, with the worst and I mean worst stomach pain and severe anxiety. Anxiety so severe, I cried for an hour and went online to check out my local mental rehabilitation center. (CAMH) For 30 minutes, I thought of the excuse I would use of my boss for not being able to come in today. ON MY FIRST DAY! I feel for you, because I feel the exact same. My anxiety is no longer something I can continue to "handle" on my own. I have tried desperately to keep my mother out of what is happening to me both mentally and psychically. She knows I have IBS and that I rely on Imodium more than anyone. I haven't been able to feel excited about anything for almost a year. I avoid anything that means I need to leave my house, in fear that I will need the toilet and not be able to find one. I am at my giving up point. I have had anxiety/ibs-d for 8 years and feel as if the happy little girl I once was, is now dead. I have become this new person. The anxiety has taken over to the point that I feel on autopilot now. I have given up the hope that I will ever find a man, date, be social, get married, have kids, and live an overall happy life. I hope you find your balance and that you begin to feel the hope that I once had.

you are never alone in this,

-Cami


----------



## marjorie seaman (Aug 25, 2016)

Sam: I too have had to live my life around my IBS. Taken Dicyclomine 4 times a day. I did get some relief. I now take VLS#3 probiotic. A friend of mine told me about it and I started taking it immediately and I can't believe the changes. I'm back to normal. Don't even need my dicyclomine much at all. No prescription, just over the counter. Ask your pharmacy if they carry it and if they don't have them order it for you. It has to be refrigerated. Costs $50.00 for a 30 day supply. I can afford to buy. Kind of expensive but to me well worth the expense. Good luck.


----------



## MrGoose (Jun 17, 2016)

When I need to run errands on weekends; and in a vehicle or large store; I know the feeling when that sudden urge and cramping starts. To keep on going instead of staying home all day; I use these diapers from Unique Wellness; Superio series. This place makes the diapers for astronauts; so they seem to know what they are doing. They seem to work better than most anything else I have tried. You can also wear those vinyl panty things to contain the odor longer.


----------



## justaguest (Oct 15, 2016)

Sam, maybe you should try Pearls High Potency probiotics (now called Pearls Max Potency) and Activia yogurt. I have suffered IBS symptoms for 50 years. I've tried every prescription out there and every diet plan that was suppose to help. I had no relief, which made me extremely anxious, and I too would not leave the house. I started taking Pearls first and within 2 months I was having symptoms half as often. During the third month I added Activia and by the fourth month I was symptom free. I still take both every single day and have been symptom free for 2 years. I've heard, but don't know if it's true, that some people who are lactose intolerant can eat Activia because it has less lactose than other dairy products. So maybe just start with the probiotics and see if they help. I hope this helps you find some relief.


----------



## Karan K (Jun 14, 2016)

I know how you feel. I'm in the same boat. Confined to my apartment. Though i am making a few attempts now.


----------

