# Dr. Bolen--work & IBS?



## SteveE (Jan 7, 1999)

Dr. Bolen,I love your book and I refer back to it frequently to remind myself of some of the mental traps I fall into sometimes. I've found these suggestions helpful in my work as well as my constant struggle with IBS.Speaking of work, however, I keep wishing that your book had suggestions for helping us decide when to use a sick day and when to push through despite the IBS symptom of the day. Would you be willing to add something here in that regard? Perhaps it could take the form of questions we should ask ourselves to help us make a decision.I think many of your suggestions have helped prevent my symptoms from getting worse during the work day at least. And it is true that I feel better about myself when I "survive" a work day despite getting-off to a bad start with IBS. But is it ALWAYS better to push for that "survivor" feeling? Isn't it at least sometimes better to rest the sore gut? How do we help ourselves decide when to do what?Sincere thanks & best wishes!


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## Kathleen M. (Nov 16, 1999)

As someone who has been chronically ill with something most of my life (before the IBS it was severe allergies and then there was the 10 or so years with an undiagnosed sleep disorder during which I got a Ph.D.) I tend to push through it unless I am having symptoms of something else. For example having a fever, body aches, vertigo (my inner ears get viral infections in them fairly often as the allergies fubared my eustation tubes), vomiting, really watery diarrhea are symptoms that I know indicate it isn't the IBS and it isn't the allergies that are bothering me.In Taijiquan at my school there are 4 rules for playing taijiquan that are pretty useful for things like this1. Do your best2. Don't overdo3. Know yourself4. Make a little progress every day.Over time you learn what is your best and what is overdoing it. (that is the know yourself part). And it is a moving target. Not all days have the same best. Oftentimes you only know after the fact whether it was too much or too little. Can't get out of bed the next day, now you know where the overdo line is, and you know not to push that far again. It takes being aware and trying things to find where the fine line is between don't overdo and do your best, and then you start making a little progress every day. If you make small challanges for yourself you can move the fine line, but it takes persistance and consistant effort to do that.Now I tend to have the biggest problems with Don't Overdo (see the getting a Ph.D during the years of no real sleep). So where I have to work on is redefining what is my best, and being happy with whatever my best is on each given day, knowing that if I don't overdo and make a little progress every day I can make my best closer to where I want it to be. Some people have the most problems with do your best. They always do less than their best to try to save up for when they need it, but you can't save things up. Life and living in a human body is very much a use it or lose it game. Never move your arm through it's whole range of motion, and soon you have much less range of motion, which you still don't use ... and so on.HTHK.------------------I have no financial, academic, or any other stake in any commercial product mentioned by me.My story and what worked for me in greatly easing my IBS: http://www.ibsgroup.org/ubb/Forum17/HTML/000015.html [This message has been edited by kmottus (edited 04-10-2001).]


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## SteveE (Jan 7, 1999)

Well said K. I guess one of the things that concerns me the most is helping myself determine whether or not I can really keep my head in the game. Having a fever or D beyond the usual is a no-brainer, that's for sure. But cramping, for example, can take many forms and degrees and schedules. It can be really sharp, dull, constant, intermittent, etc. Sometimes this cramping occurs with D and sometimes not. Perhaps this breaks the guidelines Dr. Bolen set in her book pertaining to predicting the future, but I frequently wonder if a series of cramps now might be a signal that I should slap a heating pad on there and get some rest now to avoid worse cramping the next day.Even healthy people sometimes have fuzzy thinking in the morning hours, but when your an AM IBSer like me, the problem is compounded to the point that it becomes hard to make a simple decision like whether or not to go to work despite my eight years of experience battling this illness. I do agree with you that experience helps tremendously. I've made far fewer bad decisions about when to go to work and when to abort in recent years, but I'd love to hear Dr. Bolen's suggestions for guidelines to consider when an ambiguous morning (like today) comes around again.


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## BBolen Ph.D (Nov 9, 2000)

Steve, thanks for the nice feedback about my book. You raise a very good question, one in which I don't think there are any hard and fast rules. Basically, it is a decision that has to be made at the time, weighing various factors, and then go with your gut (no pun intended). Things to consider are: 1. Severity of physical symptoms. How bad do you feel? When you feel like this how long does it usually last?2. Frame of mind: Does your soul need a day off to recover, nurse yourself back to health, can you face a day's worth of stressors after a morning's worth of symptoms?3. Employer attitudes toward absenteeism: How many sick days do you have? Is your workplace informed of your illness?4. Can you go in late? In other words, if you start to feel better by 10, 11 or noon, is it worth going in?5. Is there a clear-cut anxiety provoking stressor awaiting you at work that is contributing to your symptoms? If so, avoidance is probably not the best solution because avoidance increases anxiety in the long run. Better to devise clear-cut strategies for coping with the stressor and going in to face it and get it over with.Hopefully these questions may help you on those bad mornings. If you do decide to take the day off, go with it! Do not spend the whole day feeling guilty about it. You are ill, that is why they call them sick days. Use the day to recharge your batteries. Good luck and feel well. ------------------This input is provided solely for educational purposes and is not to be seen as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always consult a qualified professional about your personal medical needs and any questions you may have regarding this information.


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## SteveE (Jan 7, 1999)

Thanks Dr. Bolen!Number 4 is probably the worst one for me...I CAN do this, but I think my coworkers frown on it which stinks because sometimes I AM better by that time of the day. I get all sorts of questions like "Are you sure you should be here today?" [This message has been edited by SteveE (edited 04-18-2001).]


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## BBolen Ph.D (Nov 9, 2000)

Steve, do what you need to do for yourself. Maybe someday your co-workers will learn some compassion.------------------This input is provided solely for educational purposes and is not to be seen as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always consult a qualified professional about your personal medical needs and any questions you may have regarding this information.


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## SteveE (Jan 7, 1999)

Well, I think they are compassionate. I think that's why they ask if I should really be here. I think the problem is ignorance about the nature of my problem. When I try to educate them a little, I can detect that they'd rather not hear too much about this and they make no active attempts to learn on their own.Yet if they happen upon an article about it in the paper, they are more than happy to show it to me--they just don't want to discuss it.I know they care. They just don't understand. And I'm getting better about dealing with those days I do take off and then feel better later. I used to stay in my recliner even if I felt better--as though I have to force myself to rest. Now I might walk to the park if the weather is nice or get something small done around the house.But it is tough to know when I "have to" rest.


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