# Retreating from the world/agoraphobia



## 14448 (Jun 14, 2006)

I'm finding it harder and harder to go out. It's not just the worry of having D when I'm out, it's a general fear of being in public. I've been fighting it for more than a year now but it's like a black cloud that's always there, waiting to creep back in, mocking me for thinking i can beat it. The outside world feels cold, bright and terrifying. Each morning I spend hours getting ready to go out, trying to put it off, and either end up staying in, or go out and come back drained.Last week I went to a party. I was so tired, by 10pm all I could think about was how much I wanted to curl up in the corner and put my coat over my head (luckily I resisted the urge)! Has anyone been through this and got better/ found ways to make going out easier? I've tried setting myself a schedule of little outings but it makes it worse because I obsess about them in advance. I'm 21 and really don't want to waste my youth stuck in a room worrying.


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## Tiss (Aug 22, 2000)

Sukie, sorry you are feeling so lousy. I don't have D but have had chronic C for my whole life. Zelnorm has helped alot. But what it hasn't helped is my anxiety and depression. I am 50 and have become more and more reclusive. I will go 3 or 4 days without going out of the house at all, especially when it is cold. I hate the cold.Are you on any meds? Lexapro has helped me with some of the anxiety and depression. I also take xanax for anxiety. You are young and I hope you get whever treatment you need.


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## Screamer (Aug 16, 2005)

Yep, I was there just a couple of weeks ago. Partly it was the fear of having an attack that kept me home but it was also just that I didn't WANT to go anywhere and whenever I did I was so stressed out that even if I didn't have a panic attack I was miserable







I finally took myself to the doctor after nearly 3 1/2 months of being this way and now I can go places again. There are still places I don't really want to go and I am still quite a bit of a homebody (I'd rather curl up on the lounge with a good book than sit round the dinner table being sociable) and I still have worries about anything outside my state (which is only small) but otherwise I am doing really well, all because my doctor put me on Lexapro. I never really wanted to be on an antidepressant but I have to say it's really changed a lot of my feelings and attitude, so maybe go and have a chat with your GP about the way you are feeling.


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## masterplan (Aug 6, 2006)

I don't want to go anywhere because I don't enjoy anything now.


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## 22943 (Aug 27, 2005)

I really would recommend seeking out someone who specializes in these types of problems. There is help, there is behavior modification that can be worked at, there are options. Look on the internet for treatments for agoraphobia. Try a naturopathic physician if you don't want tto try drugs. Each day that you sit at home wondering and worrying is a day that you lose to the fear. Don't let the fear rule your life. If you're scared of D, learn to work with it. Wear protective garments, learn where bathrooms are before you go out, etc. I was very, very depressed just a few short months ago. I entered an intensive treament program and am now feeling better without medications. I get out every day and don't isolate. But, it took me seeking out the treatment to make it happen. You can do the same thing, it's all in how bad you want it.


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## 13857 (Jun 29, 2006)

I am so sick of people thinking I'm just fine to go to family functions kids school events even grocery shoping because I'm not I'm not okay I have serious panic attacks which I'm being treated for plus it brings on my D problem which is a big one I don't want to eat any where but at home! My husband has no understanding of what I'm going through I feel like I get no sympathy from him he presures me into going places he always says I'm just trying to stay at home well yes I am I can't even handle driving and I have 3 kids so that is hard to get around not doing. I think he thinks I'm wonder woman and I should just get over it. I have news for him I'm not just going to get over it even though I'm being treated and will be seeing a councelor he thinks just because I'm taking klonopin and lexopro plus fiber I should be just fine well I'm not I have my good days and my bad and I wish he'd understand this!


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## Gret (Sep 23, 2003)

I was like that. Cried every time I had to get ready for something. The D has stopped thanks to fiber, calcium and probiotics. BUT if I see a sign that says "No Public Restrooms" I still get anxious! I'll spend little or no time in a place like that. I know how you feel, it's horrible to be homebound, knowing that the world is continuing w/o your involvement!


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## Guest (Dec 1, 2006)

Hun - this sounds like depression to me - early stages anyway - go and get some help - most doctors are really on board with this - but those sorts of feelings can escalate out of control - I know, been there, got the t-shirt but with help - you should be able to nip this in the bud.Can I ask - are you sleeping OK - are you waking early in the morning - if you are not and you are waking early - this is another sign of depression so please, please get some help - you really don't have to live like this - I did for about 5 months and it was horrible, horrible, horrible - I'm well and working now and yes, on anti-depressants but god its nice to love the world again.I wish you luck I really doSue xxxx


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## 13857 (Jun 29, 2006)

Hi I am on lexapro and klonopin and I am going to see a therapist as soon as possible which should make life better I just wish I could take my husband you know to make him understand a little more what I'm actually going through everyday.


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## 22943 (Aug 27, 2005)

One sad fact of reality is sometimes the people we want to understand us most, well, sometimes they just can't. There are things I wish my parents would understand about me, but they just can't and that's ok. I've come to understand it. I don't have to like it, but I have to realize that they are going to tell me to just "buck up" and "keep going", to "push through it." That's their way of supporting me. What your husband does may not be how you want to be supported, but at least you have someone who tries. Accept it for what it is.


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## 13857 (Jun 29, 2006)

I guess I just wish that when I'm sick that he would take over a little more than he does because we do have 3 kids one is 3 one is 8 and one is 13 and they have a lot of needs which I try to full fill even if I am sick. I try to make ever day a good day for them even though I don't feel good. I would love it if he would make diner once in awhile for the kids and himself when I'm sick and not able to eat. I do love him very much but some times I want him to do more to help me out. I feel like he thinks I'm faking which of corse would be hard to do when he can hear me in the bathroom with D lol.


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## Tiss (Aug 22, 2000)

Sometimes it takes a good counselor to help these guys understand what they won't hear from us (wives). My husband and I went to a great counselor years back and she was able to get him to understand the effects of my IBS, stress from a lawsuit I was involved in, childhood sexual abuse, etc. He has been much better and very supportive. You need alot of support and help (with or without IBS) with 3 kids!!


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## 22943 (Aug 27, 2005)

Do you ask him to do more? Maybe he's just not quite understanding that you need help or doesn't understand what you need him to do. I would also encourage being so supportive of anything out of the ordinary he does, like say, take out the garbage (if he doesn't do it regularly), thank him for it, make him feel good about doing something more and maybe the next time, he'll start to add to his list of things he'll do around the house. I don't know if you listen to Dr. Laura (no, I don't agree with everything she says, but I do think she's got some good advice), but she's got some really good books out there, especially the "Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" a lot of women who have called into the show after reading it and practicing what's in it have said they've seen changes in what their husbands do around the house and how much more they help out.


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## 14448 (Jun 14, 2006)

Thanks for your support guys







I feel better just reading your posts and knowing I'm not alone.I've tried Buspar (buspirone) and Propranalol but they didn't help. I take benzodiazipines now and then but my GP is reluctant to prescribe them, also I've developed tolerance so I need a high dose. Alcohol is the only thing that relieves the anxiety but I don't want to start down that road!My GP suggested Citralopram (an SSRI) and I think I'll give it a go. I'm getting desperate.I'm not sure if I'm depressed but I do have trouble sleeping and I wake up several times in the night soaked with sweat. Also I keep crying but I think it's partly frustration at being so trapped.I'd love to see a psychotherapist/naturopathic physician/CBT therapist but it's not available on NHS in my area, and I'm a student so can't afford to go private. Even visiting my GP is a big event that I stress over for days.It's a vicious cycle that I can't seem to break: Anxiety=IBS=Isolation


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## Guest (Dec 5, 2006)

Well this is no good - sorry, sound like a right old bossy boots but I can't bear that somebody is going through what I did earlier this year - you are going to have to get tough with yourself and with your GP Sukie - you sound young - far too young to be trapped into this miserable cycle. Any GP worth his/her salt WILL take you seriously - anti-depressants may not be the answer but I'd say they are worth a try - anything to help beat this miserable cycle - also yes, CBT can work wonders - I'm STILL on the waiting list for that and have been well (albeit on anti-d's) for about 7/8 months!!!!!Good luckBe strong and you will get well - I promise!!Sue


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## kitkat17 Lady of the Loo (Jul 21, 2005)

SUkie, I could have wrote your post. I probably have written one just like it. I have been trapped in my house for a year now. I have had IBS for 12 years BAD and why I got so afraid is beyond me. I HATE IT! I don;t go anywhere that I don;t have to take tons of meds to stop the poo and sometimes they work soemtimes they don;t. I am waiting for a really big speeding ticket cause I have to hurry everywhere I go. You can PM me if you want to talk more.Take care good luckKat


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## 21485 (Aug 2, 2006)

I'm kinda glad in a way that other people are having this problem! as bad as that sounds, sometimes it feels I am the only one in this situation. I have diagnosed panic disorder with agoraphobia, and major depressive disorder, I go through HELL everytime I have to go anywhere, sometimes I am ok with short 10 minute trips other times I can't even do that. My life is seriously restricted by agoraphobia. I have tried so many medications some help a bit others did nothing (buspar and propranolol did nothing at all too).I am going through a terrible time at the moment. I thought after 5 years of relatively stable depression I would be ok off my antidepressant. BIG MISTAKE. I am now looking at a 3 week inpatient stay to stabilise back on citalopram as my mood has crashed without it.CBT really helped me. As does having diazepam as PRN. Please try to get on top of it by seeing your doctor before it completely takes over your life!


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## Guest (Dec 6, 2006)

Merlin - that last statement - totally sums it up - I feel for you - do you mean in a psychiatric hospital - I had 6 weeks' in one in March/April this year after a suicide attempt so I really do know what you chaps are going through - god bless - please try and get some professional help.Look, I managed to take 10 severely learning and behaviourly "challenged" youngsters around the Mill (the National Trust property where I work) today - yet about 8 months ago I was exactly where you are now - so all the best!!!!Sue xxxxx


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## 21485 (Aug 2, 2006)

Hiya SueV. Yup, it's a psychiatric stay I am looking at. Though trying to get through it alone. Been very unwell with my mental health, had 30+ hospitalisations from 5 days shortest to about 9 months longest. MH problems really escalate if you don't try and get on top of them so quickly. Messed up my guts with anorexia (a symptom of depression and anxiety that took on a life of its own). I wish so badly I had gotten help when my depression was just beginning, it might have stopped this awful slide and years of hospitals.At least I know citalopram keeps me relatively sane even if my agoraphobia is not affected by it.Good on you for getting to where you are now my dear. That requires a lot of strength. I would love to be a social worker but it's looking pretty bad for ever working properly again after so many years of illness.


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## Mary:::))) (Oct 23, 2006)

I will pray for you and everyone on this BB...I wish we would all be cured for Christmas.....







Mary


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## 13857 (Jun 29, 2006)

> quote:Originally posted by honugirl AKA Accident Girlo you ask him to do more? Maybe he's just not quite understanding that you need help or doesn't understand what you need him to do. I would also encourage being so supportive of anything out of the ordinary he does, like say, take out the garbage (if he doesn't do it regularly), thank him for it, make him feel good about doing something more and maybe the next time, he'll start to add to his list of things he'll do around the house. I don't know if you listen to Dr. Laura (no, I don't agree with everything she says, but I do think she's got some good advice), but she's got some really good books out there, especially the "Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" a lot of women who have called into the show after reading it and practicing what's in it have said they've seen changes in what their husbands do around the house and how much more they help out.


I guess my husband is the According to Jim type if I don't do it right my wife will do it and guess what it works. When I do laundry I do colors and whites seperatly my husband jams everything in there. I mow the lawn once every one or two weeks and he does it once a month if I'm lucky. He does take out the trash on occasion if I haven't already done so. Oh well I knew what I was getting when I married him lol.


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