# I feel like I'm going insane



## olaureno (Jun 2, 2013)

I have had GI issues for about four years now. Initially I was diagnosed with IBS, then gastroparesis and was told there was little I could do and there was no cure. I have recently been diagnosed with SIBO and am undergoing treatment. I was on an antidepressant for much of the last four years but a few months ago I decided to ween myself off. Ever since then the constant pain and bloating has gone from somewhat manageable to unbearable. I rarely go out and my social life is non-existant. I had to drop out of school and though I would like to change jobs and pursue a different career, I'm just too sick and need the flexibility that my current job provides. The longer I am like this the more frustrated and angry I get. I feel like I can no longer regulate my emotions. I'm crying my eyes out one minute, pseudo suicidal the next, then I'll be yelling at my boyfriend for no reason. I feel embarrassed at my behavior but I feel like I have reached my emotional limit and can't take not being allowed to have a normal life anymore. I suppose that I just want to know that I haven't totally lost it, that other people have been here and that they've been able to get it together, because I feel so lost.


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## Kathleen M. (Nov 16, 1999)

Is there some reason you will not go back on the antidepressant? I mean if it was helping the symptoms of the IBS as well as maybe helping with mood.

I understand some people just don't want to take any medication or have side effects that make it worse to stay on, but it may be you need it.

I would ask you call your doctor ASAP and let them know how bad things are. If medications is not an option for whatever reason then you may want to seek some counseling to help as it can make a big difference in the mood issues. Some of the treatments can also help with pain control if you can find someone that also knows those protocols.

Are you willing to try something other than that for the pain/bloating or are you already on the Low FODMAP diet, taking digestive enzymes with meals, taking a probitoic, taking peppermint tea or capsules, doing a regular formal mindfulness program and doing relaxation exercises every single day. Making sure you get adequate sleep every day. Getting 20 minutes of sunshine daily, etc?

If you can't or won't see the doctor or counselor at least try some of the above and get some self-help books for journaling your emotions as sometimes writing can help a lot with the regulation of emotions but it just sounds like from what you wrote it may be really helpful to get some professionals involved rather than just try to white knuckle your way through this.


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## olaureno (Jun 2, 2013)

Kathleen, thank you for your suggestions. I am currently seeing a naturopath SIBO specialist and a naturopath trained in mindfulness. I'm taking heavy duty antibiotics and a prokinetic. Normally I take a boatload of other supplements including peppermint, etc but I have been too nauseous as of late to take them. I got off of Lexapro because I was no longer experiencing anxiety and was not in the anxiety provoking environment (college) anymore. It was more than hell weening off of the medication so I can't bear getting on it again knowing that that same experience will be waiting for me when I want to get off it again. Plus I feel that it was just masking the symptoms, and I feel driven to get at the root of the problem. I feel like I am doing my best to get the appropriate treatment but I still feel very frustrated. Do you have any mindfulness program suggestions? I think I mainly started this thread to see how other people dealt with the frustrations of chronic illness.


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## oscillate.wildly (May 19, 2013)

Hey 

Sorry you are having such problems. I cannot comment from personal experience, but my twin sister went through a tough time with the 'wrong' anti-depressant. She is now on another type (Prozac) and she is like a different person. It was like I gt my sister back. So just to make the point, there are different types out there, and I think it is common that some people react badly to some but then do much better on others. Now I am not experienced in this personally (i.e. I have not taken antidepressants); however the way I see it, is that there is nothing wrong at all if you do need them. At the end of the day, some people just need help during the worst times, and it is all just about chemical balance. If you were in pain, you would take a pain killer, so if you are struggling to deal with things, maybe a little help will be the little extra support you need to be able to make things seem manageable instead of seemingly impossible. Personally, I don't think it is about masking symptoms, more about making things easier to deal with, which could then enable you to get on top of it. I don't want to give you the wrong advice, and it may be that all antidepressants aren't right for you, but perhaps your doctor could recommend a low-dose/low-intensity AD that could help.

Good luck

Emma


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## Kathleen M. (Nov 16, 1999)

UMass is probably the home of the best trained people with mindfulness programs. Most of the ones around here are trained there.

http://w3.umassmed.edu/MBSR/public/searchmember.aspx will let you search your area.

Duke has telephonic programs which work better for some people (one of the people I went through Integrative Health Coach training did the one at Duke when she was on bed-rest during a pregnancy)

http://www.dukeintegrativemedicine.org/classes-workshops-and-education/mbsr-schedules#homestudy

Dr. Jeff Brantley came in to do mindfulness with us during the Coach Training and he has a series of 5 good minute books a lot of people find helpful...http://www.goodreads.com/series/59325-five-good-minutes has the list and you can get them on Amazon and all that.

There are also a number of workbooks that may let you do it yourself.

One book I read during an illness before IBS that I found helpful in just understanding the whole thing was this one: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0393320650/ref=pd_lpo_k2_dp_sr_1?pf_rd_p=1535523722&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-1&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=1616384670&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=0423YY10J678Q24VC940


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## storyofmylife (Jan 26, 2013)

Kathleen M. said:


> One book I read during an illness before IBS that I found helpful in just understanding the whole thing was this one: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0393320650/ref=pd_lpo_k2_dp_sr_1?pf_rd_p=1535523722&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-1&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=1616384670&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=0423YY10J678Q24VC940


If you don't mind, can you answer some questions about this book ?

1 - How relevant is it to IBS or is it about IBS also ? (The title is not IBS)

2 - Does it talk only about cases where IBS/disease was only in the mind ?

Thanks


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## Kathleen M. (Nov 16, 1999)

It wasn't specific to IBS but discussed issues that people who have chornic illnesses that are not obvious to other people. I know we feel alone with IBS but often we struggle with the same issues people wth other hidden chronic illnesses have. So if you think IBS is completely and totally unique and no one else could share the issues of family that doesn't understand your limitations, etc. It is a more general book rather than a IBS specific book.

It doesn't talk much about treatment, and I don't know of any book that looks at IBS solely as a psychological issue, even the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Clinical Hypnotherapy works do tend to see part of the problem as being physical and in the gut's nervous system or in physical changes you can see in the brain, so I don't know if that would be what you are looking for.

Breaking the Bonds of Irritable Bowel Syndrome : A Psychological Approach to Regaining Control of Your Life 
Barbara Bradley Bolen, Ph.D., W. Grant Thompson M.D., New Harbinger Pubns April 2000
ISBN 1572241888
Website: http://www.irritablebowel.net/

might come close but even though it is a psychological approach I don't see it as "only in the mind".


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