# Life On Suicide Watch



## Guest

There seems to have been alot of talk recently about "suicide" as a viable option to pain with IBS and other chronic illnesses.What I think is worth considering - never mind the guilt you will absolutely 100% feel, probably ALL your life if you have tried this "option" and failed (as I have) - is the treatment - certainly in this country - you will receive and the freedom - that all of us take for granted - that is taken away from you - should you be sectioned under the Mental Health Act.Now, I'm not saying this is a bad thing - infact I was glad to have that amount of protection - as somebody on suicide watch for 2 weeks - you will be supervised ALL the time - and I do mean ALL the time - you are not allowed to go to the toilet on your own, you are not allowed to bath - only showers - you have to surrender your razors, scissors - you have cardboard coathangers - should you choose the option of ending it all by garroting yourself with a wire hanger. Sleep - forget it - you have a torch shone in your face every 15 minutes to check you have not suffocated yourself with the blankets.Why am I telling you all this - cos I suppose when I was very sick - I had a lovely image of being discovered Ophelia like in my car all peaceful and serene. The reality - waking up in your own excrement and urine, wimpering like a dog and manhandled by police and ambulance men.I'm sorry - but I just think we need to be brutally honest with anyone even thinking - fleetingly that this is a solution - IT NEVER, EVER IS.Sue


----------



## 14048

SueV, thanks for sharing your story with us. That took a lot of courage to tell us the details. I only hope that your story will shine some light in someone's eyes so that they can see that there are other options. We will never know how many people took that "way" out of dealing with their IBS. I am sure the thought has crossed many of our minds as dealing with IBS is not pleasant. I find solace in these boards and reading the stories of people like you, who give me the courage to do whatever I have to do to make my life a little bit easier. I am so grateful that I found these boards and that the people on them are caring, thoughtful people, willing to share with others their ups and their downs. Thank you for your story. God Bless you...GadJett


----------



## Guest

Oh Gadjett - god bless you - I've been fretting all day (away from this computer) that perhaps it was abit stark, abit OTT - but I just feel so passionately now, that there is always, always a better option than that - I feel I can say that because, as you can see, I really have been there, got the t-shirt - so to speak. That is not to belittle those who feel that desperate, I did, but now, feeling so well, back at work, loving, loving life - I sometimes do shudder and catch my breath - what if.......I would also like to say that grim though it was, I owe my life - literally - to the staff at the psychiatric unit where I was - it was horrendous and very dehumanising - but it was an asylum from the world.Thanks again for your kind words - if I can just stop one person taking that awful step - well then thats summat isn't it.Sue xxxx


----------



## 14048

SueV, you are very welcome. I like your little saying "You will never walk alone" as my philosophy in life is that of the "Footprints" poem. I am sure you know it. The part where God is questioned about only one set of footprints in the sand during the trying times and God replies that it was during those times that He carried you... I do enjoy reading all of your messages and love your "accent" as I imagine it to be from the difference in how we say things. And, I love the picture of the collie. I have a minature schnauzer that is my pride and joy. Dogs love us for who we are and forgive us easily and we should all be like that, loving unconditionally and forgiving ourselves, as others forgive us. We are way too hard on ourselves and that is why IBS is so difficult for us to deal with. It shows us that we are not perfect. Life is not about perfection, it is about love and living the best life that we can. These boards help us find ways to live our lives the best that we can, thanks to people like you. Have a nice day. GadJett


----------



## Guest

Gadgett - I'm a Scouser - from Liverpool - well near enough and my little strap line is of course Liverpool Footie Club's too - its a great one though isn't it - better than their footie sometimes!!!!Yeah - wouldn't be withouth my sheltie (he's a very big one - nearer to a Rough Collie - Lassie type doggie) - I'd never had a doggie before but my kids "bullied" me into one gosh nearly 4 years' ago now - we all adore him.I like schnauzers too - great personalities.Right - I'd better do summat about tea - its nearly 6.00pm here in blighty.Sue xxx


----------



## mommywith2

I have a friend that I used to work with that her daughter killed herself. I don't know a lot of the details (and don't need to know), but my friends first husband was an abusive husband/father. Enough happened that the daughter decided to kill herself. Know even 6 years later, I can still tell that it affects my friend. I'm sure the daughter thought that it would be so much easier gone, but didn't realize how much it would hurt the rest of the family.Also, my husband's cousin and his wife killed themselves and left their 4 year old daughter behind. I just say this, because although people that try and kill themselves most likely are not thinking clearly - but taking away their pain just brings on so much more pain. So yes, someone may think about that... but hopefully will get the help they need. It may seem like the end of the road for themselves, but there is always something better. You may have to work for it, but it's there.


----------



## Screamer

THank you for sharing Sue. It's a tough story to share, I have no doubt. I won't lie, the thought has crossed my mind on many an occasion, but in the end I hold thoughts of my parents, my husband and most of all my children in my head and try to think of what I will do to them and know that there's no way I could ever leave them with that sort of hurt.


----------



## Guest

Thanks Hun - I must admit - I was abit wary - but I think there's is a dangerous amount of almost casual talk about suicide - just wanted to share the realities of an attempt - hope it shocks even one person from taking that terrible step.Sue xxxx


----------



## firstone

I thought of it a couple of times because I didnt really know how to handle that much pain for such a long time. During the time I was in deep pain and so I was definetely considering suicide.. I was also thinkin of my family and imagining how they would react. I know that if I go through it, I would wreck my whole family mentally for the rest of their life and that thought alone gives me alot of guilt.But I really cant judge anybody who actually went through it since we are not robots. We are human. With pain, comes along your mental health(Depression, Anxiety, Negativity in general). Its really hard to think anything else other than stopping the pain and have thoughts about the "easy way out".


----------



## Guest

Oh heavens Firestone - I never, ever meant to imply that we are (robots) and I would never, ever judge anybody - how the hell could I - I'm just trying to paint as stark a picture of life "after" suicide - if I can put it like that.Also - even at your grimmest - hang onto the thought - that THE VAST MAJORITY OF PEOPLE WITH VERY, VERY SEVERE CHRONIC DEPRESSION (LIKE ME) SURVIVE AND GO ON TO LEAD REALLY GREAT LIVES. I'm not saying either - that I'll never get ill with depression again - I consider myself to be "in remission" as with any other long-term chronic illness.Interesting - I was chatting to my coz Maggie - who, as well as being a GP, is one of my closest "confidants" - she was saying - the longer between "episodes" - the better the prognosis but also that nowadays GP's (certainly in this country) acknowledge that for many depressives - long-term medication is a viable option. In the past - many folk were put onto anti-depressants and then - as soon as they were well - taken off - and the depressing cycle of "resolving door" patients then occurs - where they fall back into the pit and have to start again. Mercifully - my GP is extremely sympathetic - and at t'end of the day - when and IF I want to "fly solo" then I can do so - in my own time and on my own terms.Sue


----------



## firstone

I apologize sue, i didnt mean to come at you like that... I didnt walk in your shoes so I can never understand the pain you went through and Im glad that you are better.


----------



## Guest

No apologies needed I assure you - just wanted to show people there is always, always a better way whilst in no way judging anyone who feels desperate enough to try it.Thanks Firestone.Sue


----------



## Patient

Thank you greatly for sharing your story with everyone Sue. It takes a lot of courage to share rough times such as those with others, but I'm sure there will be many people who read it and may feel encouraged from it. Depression is a tough thing to deal with, and like many others, I have spent my fair share of time in despair. Because you have shared your past Sue, I've decided to shed a little light on my own, something that has in fact helped to shape me into the woman you all see now; as well as my thoughts and encounters with suicide.For several years (When I was 12 - 17) dealing with relationships, (some things happening I'm not entirely comfortable sharing) an uncaring father, and among other things; life was simply 'getting too tough' for the young woman I'd become. One day, I sat at the foot of my bed for a long, long time; staring down the barrel of a handgun. I don't recall exactly what was going through my mind, but I do remember being fearful of actually going through with it. Not to mention, worrying about those that actually did care about me, and my sister. The phone rang, and it was the man I'm still with now. The man, who saved my life.I've been told that if I intended to kill myself, I wouldn't have answered the phone. That's very true. I wanted to end my pain and suffering, but I was also considering what pain and suffering would be brought upon by my death. What would happen to my sister if I wasn't there to protect her? What about my mother, if I wasn't there to be strong for her? All these thoughts held me back long enough for that one phone call to come, and my life to be saved. Would I have gone through with it if that call hadn't come? I don't know, and quite frankly, I don't rightly care. I believe everything happens for a reason.I'm happy to report that now I'm coping a lot better with depression. My lover has brought me out of the walls I'd built around myself as a child, though I still suffer anxiety and paranoia, and an ever-present fear and aggression towards strangers. These are things I'm learning to get over, and hopefully will one day overcome. The thing that must be remembered is that suicide, while ending your pain and suffering, doesn't solve the problems. Think about this. If you were gone, how will your husband/wife tell your children that mommy/daddy won't be coming home? Who will tell your friends that life just got too tough for you? Who would tell your family, that their son/daughter/niece/nephew won't ever be coming home? I think of someone trying to explain that to my loved ones, and it nearly makes me break down every time.Sue, I'm glad to hear you're doing better. That's excellent news, really. Hopefully my post will add some insight to any others considering suicide, without stepping on anyone's toes. If I have offended, I am deeply sorry, my intentions were well. I've got two quotes to leave you all with, before I'm finished. I know, I'm such a long-winded girl."You have to walk _through_ hell, to get *out* of it.""To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world."Best of wishes to you all,Patient


----------



## Guest

Well god bless you Patient - what a story and I'm right glad too that you have found some well-deserved happiness.I think, once you've battled through a right grim spot like we both have - you do learn to take life much more one day at a time. I certainly live for the moment much more - I don't tend to look too far ahead but I can also look forward to really quite simple things with a great deal of pleasure.So chaps - there is always, always hope - cling to that please.Sue


----------



## Patient

That's certainly true. I've learned to take life by the moment, and for what it is; not how I imagined it would be. To look for the good in the bad, and play the cards you're dealt. Life gets tough, there's no doubt about that, but taking your life with your own hands is the ultimate act of selfishness. Hopefully, anyone who is considering it, will find this thread and seek help--be it from a professional or just someone on this board.


----------



## Guest

Yeah and I certainly see my life now as a real second chance - without getting too saccarine - I absolutely treasure every decent day and every wonderful thing I've done. I said in an earlier thread - I was watching my little un (I have 3 kids - this is our little surprise Soph who is 7) getting sworn in as a Brownie Guide - in a not very pretty scout hut - I don't know why - but I did catch my breath - what if.... So many lovely things have happened since I've come out of hospital in April 2006 - the family went to New York at Xmas - first time in the States, this Spring I met Mark (Overitnow) from this board and had a lovely day with him, I went to Ireland with my sister and cousin and spent 3 mad days in Co Kerry dancing with farmers, we had a wild wacky 16th birthday party for our lad Jack last November - 43 kids in our not-very-big house ..... I could go on and on.Life is a right up and down ride isn't it - but I think rather than the "why me" mentality that dogged me so much of my life I'm much more "why not me - why not have a bash (at whatever)". I'm not a right religious bod either but I do genuinely believe that the big fella was watching out for me and my family that terrible day in March 2006.God bless you Patient - may you continue to enjoy better mental health too.Sue xxxx


----------



## MyOwnSavior

Patient said:


> I wanted to end my pain and suffering, but I was also considering what pain and suffering would be brought upon by my death. What would happen to my sister if I wasn't there to protect her? What about my mother, if I wasn't there to be strong for her? All these thoughts held me back long enough for that one phone call to come, and my life to be saved. Would I have gone through with it if that call hadn't come? I don't know, and quite frankly, I don't rightly care. I believe everything happens for a reason.


Before I say anything, I just want to let everyone know that I'm not trying to say suicide is an apt solution for the pain we're all experiencing, or anything like that. I know my line of thought is flawed in some way, I'm just trying to figure out where, indeed, it is. With that out of the way ... I've noticed that a lot of the rationale against suicide is that it would effect others in a negative way. When I've had others (therapist, parents, etc.) try to tell me - in my darkest moments - that suicide is a bad thing, the only thing that has ever been focused on is why my death would cause pain and suffering for others. What they don't seem to understand is that _my_ whole life is unrelenting pain and suffering. And I don't even have it as bad as certain people on these forums do. I mean, I'm supposed to live my whole life - miserable as it is - just so other people aren't hurt by my ending it? What difference does it make? If I continue on, there will (most assuredly) still be suffering - namely, my own. And if I die, then there will also be suffering - namely, others who care about me (which basically means my parents and people my parents know). So, ultimately, why is it better that we continue on? Why must _we_ be martyrs? I know this probably sounds incredibly arrogant and self-centered, but I have to know.... Is it just that there is a hope (however faint and distant it may seem) that things will improve in the future? That someday there will be a drug that eliminates this pain we all feel? Or that our IBS will just go away on its own? (I know this thread wasn't specifically about IBS, but it's on an IBS forum so...)


----------



## Patient

MyOwnSavior said:


> Before I say anything, I just want to let everyone know that I'm not trying to say suicide is an apt solution for the pain we're all experiencing, or anything like that. I know my line of thought is flawed in some way, I'm just trying to figure out where, indeed, it is. With that out of the way ... I've noticed that a lot of the rationale against suicide is that it would effect others in a negative way. When I've had others (therapist, parents, etc.) try to tell me - in my darkest moments - that suicide is a bad thing, the only thing that has ever been focused on is why my death would cause pain and suffering for others. What they don't seem to understand is that _my_ whole life is unrelenting pain and suffering. And I don't even have it as bad as certain people on these forums do. I mean, I'm supposed to live my whole life - miserable as it is - just so other people aren't hurt by my ending it? What difference does it make? If I continue on, there will (most assuredly) still be suffering - namely, my own. And if I die, then there will also be suffering - namely, others who care about me (which basically means my parents and people my parents know). So, ultimately, why is it better that we continue on? Why must _we_ be martyrs? I know this probably sounds incredibly arrogant and self-centered, but I have to know.... Is it just that there is a hope (however faint and distant it may seem) that things will improve in the future? That someday there will be a drug that eliminates this pain we all feel? Or that our IBS will just go away on its own? (I know this thread wasn't specifically about IBS, but it's on an IBS forum so...)


Very good point, and I see where you're coming from. I suppose it really depends on the person (who is considering suicide) and their relatioinship with the people they may be hurting by killing themself. If you compare the relationship between a mother considering it and worrying about her child, it may be a lot different then a teen worrying about how their friends at school may be effected. I also believe that like you said, there's a sense of hope that can tie into it as well. The hope that one day we'll find a cure, and living day by day thinking "It could be tomorrow!". Hope can be very damaging though, I've seen people living day by day in hope of something literally destroy them. I think that if you find comfort in the fact that one day there could be something to cure our IBS, or that it will go away, or that it will improve generally as we get older; by all means hang on to that. I think we should be hopeful in a sense, but not completely dependent on whether or not someone we don't know, that we'll never meet, will do something to end _our_ suffering. Instead, -I- think we need to focus on what _we_ can do to *try* and improve our lives. Who knows, someone out there right now could be on the verge of a breakthrough with their studies, but I'm not going to sit around and wait for that miracle cure to be invented. It may come during my lifetime, and it may not. Just my own opinions of course, not trying to step on any toes or start an arguement of any kind.


----------



## Guest

SueV said:


> There seems to have been alot of talk recently about "suicide" as a viable option to pain with IBS and other chronic illnesses.What I think is worth considering - never mind the guilt you will absolutely 100% feel, probably ALL your life if you have tried this "option" and failed (as I have) - is the treatment - certainly in this country - you will receive and the freedom - that all of us take for granted - that is taken away from you - should you be sectioned under the Mental Health Act.Now, I'm not saying this is a bad thing - infact I was glad to have that amount of protection - as somebody on suicide watch for 2 weeks - you will be supervised ALL the time - and I do mean ALL the time - you are not allowed to go to the toilet on your own, you are not allowed to bath - only showers - you have to surrender your razors, scissors - you have cardboard coathangers - should you choose the option of ending it all by garroting yourself with a wire hanger. Sleep - forget it - you have a torch shone in your face every 15 minutes to check you have not suffocated yourself with the blankets.Why am I telling you all this - cos I suppose when I was very sick - I had a lovely image of being discovered Ophelia like in my car all peaceful and serene. The reality - waking up in your own excrement and urine, wimpering like a dog and manhandled by police and ambulance men.I'm sorry - but I just think we need to be brutally honest with anyone even thinking - fleetingly that this is a solution - IT NEVER, EVER IS.Sue


there is help [email protected]


----------



## MyOwnSavior

Patient said:


> Instead, -I- think we need to focus on what _we_ can do to *try* and improve our lives. Who knows, someone out there right now could be on the verge of a breakthrough with their studies, but I'm not going to sit around and wait for that miracle cure to be invented. It may come during my lifetime, and it may not.


I know, it's just hard. I've tried so many products that I can't even remember them all, and none of them seem to bring me any relief. All my life, I've just wanted to be grow up to have a "normal" life - you know, close circle of friends, decent job, spouse and family, etc. But now I can't have any of that. IBS has effectively cut off any close ties with friends I might once have had; makes me too insecure about myself to even think of dating anyone, much less marriage; and the only jobs I can even THINK about having are ones where I am by myself a lot (say goodbye to cubicle jobs and anything where I have to sit through meetings). I'm glad you seem to enjoy your life as much as you can, but personally I just can't bring myself to. How am I supposed to enjoy anything when at any moment I could be in so much pain that I can't even stand up? How am I supposed to go with anyone, anywhere, when my every action has to be so taxingly planned? When I have to be able to exit any social situation, without warning? When I can't even sit through a lunch or dinner with friends (when I used to have this "problem", anyway) without my stomach making all sorts of crazy noises? I mean, some people (like yourself) just seem to be able to accept the fact that life is the way it is with IBS, and you just have to deal with it. As for me, I look at everyone around me, and see the things they can do, and it pisses me off. I don't know why I should have to deal with a life full of intense physical pain, with no relief in sight, when I didn't even do anything to put myself in this situation. I kind of view my IBS like this: I'm suffering for a crime I didn't commit... It's hard for me to just go "Oh well, I have IBS. I'll try to enjoy life as much as I can, even though I have some of the most embarrassing set of symptoms possible, not to mention chronic pain..." I don't know, I'd love to be able to just accept my body for the way it is, but I can't.


----------



## Guest

My Own Saviour - without sounding like a right holy joe - I really think you have to shift the goalposts - what on earth IS normal for heaven's sake? I suppose before I was ill I laboured under the misguided belief that I was the only one out of step - the only one with hideous self-doubts and that everybody else was buzzing along dead happily and successfully. I know realise - and you'll pardon my language (but I am from Liverpool) that its a load of ###### and most people are hanging in by their fingertips - me included. I will probably be on anti-depressants for the rest of my natural - I will probably be a good stone overweight too - I will never be a placid type of bod either - but hell's teeth - at least we are HERE - muddling along to the best of our ability - I really think - don't knock that. Of my closest mates - one has been divorced twice, one lives with MS - and is very up and down energy wise, one's hubby committed suicide and she is battling through with 2 very bolshy and delicate teenagers, my sister lives in a hovel in Ireland with no money and a wandering partner!!!You've just got to make the best of it haven't you - IBS is no picnic (and I'm lucky - my symptoms are very mild) but it isn't cancer either is it????Sue


----------



## MyOwnSavior

SueV said:


> My Own Saviour - without sounding like a right holy joe - I really think you have to shift the goalposts - what on earth IS normal for heaven's sake? I suppose before I was ill I laboured under the misguided belief that I was the only one out of step - the only one with hideous self-doubts and that everybody else was buzzing along dead happily and successfully. I know realise - and you'll pardon my language (but I am from Liverpool) that its a load of ###### and most people are hanging in by their fingertips - me included. I will probably be on anti-depressants for the rest of my natural - I will probably be a good stone overweight too - I will never be a placid type of bod either - but hell's teeth - at least we are HERE - muddling along to the best of our ability - I really think - don't knock that. Of my closest mates - one has been divorced twice, one lives with MS - and is very up and down energy wise, one's hubby committed suicide and she is battling through with 2 very bolshy and delicate teenagers, my sister lives in a hovel in Ireland with no money and a wandering partner!!!You've just got to make the best of it haven't you - IBS is no picnic (and I'm lucky - my symptoms are very mild) but it isn't cancer either is it????Sue


I hear what you're saying. Deep down I know other people have problems in life too - but I look around (especially at college campuses, where I've been for most of the last couple years) and I see people with damn near flawless looks, a very attractive partner with them, going places and doing things that I could never hope to, thanks to IBS. I mean, sure, maybe they fight a lot, or maybe in 20 years they'll develop cancer or something, but at least - from what I can see - they're living their youth and _enjoying_ doing so. So of course it is true that other people have worse symptoms than we do - I know there are kids with cancer out there who will (if they survive it) _never_ be able to live normal lives. I know that there are people out there dealing with pain that is much worse than my own. And yet I can't particularly find that knowing that helps me deal with my own pain... I mean, there's lots of things I'd love to do in life that I just never will be able to. And there are others out there who are dealing with the same thing. But yet... that fact alone really doesn't comfort me, unfortunately. Still, I do understand what you are saying... I know things could be worse - as you say, cancer isn't exactly fun. I know my uncle had cancer about 10+ years ago, and he was never the same after that. Mainly because he's always in pain... and when I look at him, I realize that I could have things worse, too. That's the thing about life; it's never so good that it can't get better, and it's never so bad that it can't get worse...Oh and thanks for the response. It's always good to hear "the other side", so to speak, on issues such as these.


----------



## Guest

Oh listen - I'm not trying to soft-soap you or owt - and not think for a moment that I don't sympathise with your situation but I do think its easy to see what you want to see - when I was very ill with depression I honestly let myself believe that I was the only $$$$$$ up - everyone else seemed to be coping so effortlessly - scratch below the surface and its a very different story - so, so many times.Take tonight - playing badminton with 3 mates from work and for absolutely NO reason - other than it was time of the month and I'd had a shitty row with my 14 year old daughter - burst into floods of tears - what a total hopeless moron - yet most people think I'm 100% happy, confident and always on top form - of course ALL of us have shitty days - these folk may look happy and healthy - I bet you my Granny's gold clock they are battling with their own particular demons. Knowing that, of course, doesn't solve any of your particular battles - that is something you will have to sort for yourself with support wherever you can get it.All the best to you - but please remember - you really and truly aren't alone.Sue


----------



## MyOwnSavior

True, very true. Again, I'm sure there are people who are suffering more than myself; in fact, when I feel good - when my IBS symptoms aren't dominating my life - I really do enjoy living. Unfortunately, those moments are few and far between anymore. Still, you seem like a nice person, and it's a shame you have to suffer so. I know IBS has made me wonder about a lot of things, ask a lot of the philosophical questions; you know, "Why do bad things happen to good people?", "Is life worth living no matter what?" and all of that. It seems, though, that you and I have come up with quite different conclusions to those questions. I'm not trying to push my own point of view, it's just that when I hear people saying that suicide is "never" the answer, I get a little upset. I know in my case, I'm not seriously considering it, but it is comforting to know that there is always that option, should my symptoms - and consequently my life as a whole - ever become so miserable that it simply isn't possible to continue on. I think a lot of times we have this misguided notion that our suffering is somehow for a "purpose", that somehow we're supposed to "get" something out of it, and that if we end our suffering, we're somehow thwarting God's purpose for our lives. And if that's what it takes for certain people to continue on, then fine... but there's no need to discourage the rest of us from doing the only thing that will - without a doubt - relieve our sufferings - be they physical, mental, or otherwise.


----------



## Guest

No - all I'm saying really is I don't think it is (suicide as an option) cos its just so bloody, bloody unfair to those left behind. God knows the anger and rage we had to work through as a family - and I "failed" - if you can put it like that.Sue


----------



## MyOwnSavior

Fair enough. I didn't mean to imply that suicide should be an option in any but the most extreme cases anyway (i.e. in the case of severe chronic pain that can't be treated, and so on), and I didn't mean that people who have others depending on them should consider it. Unfortunately, I forgot to specify that - I guess as I read back on some of the things I have said - I was talking about why suicide should be an acceptable option for those like myself... In other words, for those who are don't have a spouse, kids, many close friends, etc. AND who are suffering with an uncurable condition. Don't misunderstand me; I'm not trying to get people to go through with this act... I'd love it if the circumstances in everyone's lives were so good that none of us had to think of suicide. But unfortunately, this isn't the case... and other than the potential negative effects on the lives of others, I can't see why suicide should never be an option. I don't see why people close to you are unselfish for wanting for you what you don't want for yourself... for wanting you to continue to suffer with no relief. Unfortunately, if you're close to a lot of people; you have children dependent on you; or whatever, you're kind of stuck being a martyr. But for the rest of us...In any event, this is all I'm going to say on this issue; it's one of those that is so subjective in nature that there clearly is no "right" or "wrong" opinion on it. In the end, people will do what they feel is right, and no amount of debating can (or should) be used to convince a person otherwise...


----------



## skareb

Hi....I'm not gonna argue if its fair, life is never fair, look at Somalia. Ok we're not here to compare to the worse, we're here to share, vent, or hopefully one day find a solution. I agree ppl sufering with IBS is literally in the ###### hole, so how do we move on with life? I share some of my stories, during my youth my IBS isnt as problematic as now, I love motorbiking, fishing, camping, I was a really out going guy. (notice my outgoing is at places where if I gotta go I wont have to feel embarassed). I used to drive to work, without much issue too.Fast forward to today, IBS getting worse due to life-stress or maybe midlife crisis. You've a wife, a biz and maybe you worry to lose it all..I dont know. But my hobbies has change a lot, I'm into fish keeping, half of my time is Aquarium husbandry whenever I'm at home till my wife complaint I dun have time for her. I'm also into hifi and home theater (obviously...ppl like us wont really enjoy movies in the cinema) After work I hardly go out, I cant even remember when was my last night-time outing. The point is we find ways to keep ourself occupied, IBS may rob us the enjoyment outside but we can still find hobbies within the comfort of our home. You should thank your lucky stars nowadays they're a thing call internet, gosh I wont know what to do without it!improvise...


----------



## Guest

Oh god bless you Thinko - what a wonderful way to put it - isn't that what life is all about then compromise and improvise (think I might get a t-shirt with that on it).MOS - and I think thats absolutely fair enough too - can I ask - are you getting some help and support from somewhere - everyone is entitled to that at least before considering ALL the options you discuss?Sue


----------



## MyOwnSavior

SueV said:


> MOS - and I think thats absolutely fair enough too - can I ask - are you getting some help and support from somewhere - everyone is entitled to that at least before considering ALL the options you discuss?Sue


I'm not sure what you mean by "help"... yeah I'm seeing a GI doctor but the pills they give do next to nothing... and I've tried counseling but got nothing out of it ... and in fact it made me feel worse because I had to keep re-living situations (and consequently reasons) why I was disgusted with life, and so on.


----------



## Guest

Sorry MOS - I suppose "support" would be a better way of putting it - and sometimes this can come from the most unlikely sources. Hmm - I'm never sure about counselling - and I have heard others say it can unpick things that frankly are better left unearthed. I was put on a list for CBT - but frankly sort of pre-emptied that by trying to commit suicide and my subsequent admission to hospital - that seems to be more related to coping strategies and a number of folk I know rate it highly. When you say "pills" - do you mean anti-depresssants or summat to help with the symptoms of IBS - of course they are very ideosyncratic so you may have been put on something that made you signiicantly worse - I was - initially on Prozac - which made the anxiety spiral out of control - others do very well on it.Oh god bless you - its a long, hard struggle sometimes isn't it - just keep plugging away - you'll get there - promise!!!Sue


----------



## MyOwnSavior

Oh, social support maybe... well I haven't really had too much of that. I mean mainly it comes from my parents (mom especially), but other than that not really...friends I don't even bother with anymore (because how can you enjoy being with anyone, really, when you feel this badly?)And yes, I think sometimes it's better to just "leave things be". Counseling seems to work on the theory that once you get those "deep, dark secrets" out in the open, then you'll somehow feel better for having thus "released" them...CBT did primarily seem to focus on coping skills; not jumping to conclusions; and learning stress relief techniques. Personally I found it to be of no benefit, mainly because while IBS can make my symptoms worse, it does not cause flare-ups - those seem to just randomly happen whenever they want to.I was on antidepressants. Elavil was completely worthless, but Effexor XR gave me a slight benefit, at least as far as reducing number of BM's per day. I guess it kind of helped for the pain, a little, but it wasn't so great that it was the solution I was looking for, or anything like that. I was also on Neurontin, which did nothing, and am currently on Bentyl, which does nothing, except perhaps aggravating my reflux (I also have GERD)... Thanks for the kind words though. It's nice to hear things like that on occasion, instead of the usual stuff about IBS not being curable (or even treatable - which is how my GI doctor seems to view it sometimes...)


----------



## Guest

My absolute pleasure - though I'm not familiar with the drug names you use - being a Brit (and probably being a spanner as well)!!!Keeping plugging away - thats all any of us can do.Sue


----------

