# If anyone understands..



## 21383 (Apr 9, 2007)

.... it is you guys!I don't think anyone really empathises with those who have anxiety problems.. I'm glad I can vent out here with people who understand how it feels like. .I could have sworn I didn't have a problem and that I was never this 'sensitive' growing up.. I don't know what to do about it. I acknowledge I have a real anxiety/panic issue. But I just do not believe in drugs/ alternative therapy as treatment!! I feel like I'm caught in this vicious cycle and I cannot for the life of me break out of it! I've tried antidepressants, breathing, homepathy, St John's, herbs, etc. But I think in my case, the 'cure' is bigger than all this. I think I need a proper change of lifestyle!! I don't know.. I wake up in the middle of a panic attack, (sweat, panting and all), obsessing over the smallest thing! Or over where my life is going next, etc.. you know?!My laptop hasn't been working for a while. I always put off taking it somewhere to get it fixed, until last week when I woke up suddenly at 3 AM and panicked like anything about it, got the manual and CDs out and spent a full hour fixing it myself !!! 3 AM !!!!







Sometimes when I behave a certain way, I feel like getting out of my body and shaking myself so hard, slapping myself, telling myself to "Get your act together, for God's sake, toughen up!!!"














I AM AGAINST ANTIDEPRESSANTS. End of story. I just cannot see how they can change someone's life without that person making _some_ conscious decision to "do something about it" or make some sort of change. I don't know. Maybe I'm overly pessimistic or overreacting. I just know that I NEVER used to be this sensitive or anxious before. It's frustrating. I *swear* I don't even know who I am anymore.


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## jms1963 (Feb 23, 2007)

Hareesa -Sorry to hear you're having such a difficult time. You are right, if anyone knows it's the people here on this forum. I have only been a member here for a short while but have found the support here to be so helpful. Just knowing there are people out there that have "been there, done that" is comforting.I have had anxiety issues my whole life, but it wasn't until I was in my 30's that I admitted I needed help. When I think of all the years I suffered because I was too proud to ask for help I could kick myself in the butt. I understand your reluctance to go with traditional treatments, but there is so much help out there - have you seen a therapist? Sending you hugs,







Jodie


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## Guest (Apr 11, 2007)

Oh bless - I dunno if I'm the best person to discuss this with - I'm certainly not saying anti-d's are the be-all and end-all but for me (and I was severely depressed - so t'other end of the spectrum to you I think) - I really believe it was just chemicals - analyse til you are blue in the face - I was suicidal - don't know why - lovely husband, 3 healthy gorgeous kids, lovely part-time job - very few money worries etc etc but at t'end of the day I was very very sick - I took anti-depressants (coupled with a jolly 6 week stay in a psychiatric unit) and over a year on, I'm well, still on the tablets (at the moment), rather overweight but can honestly say I've never been happier. I just took the dead pragmatic approach - basically "suck it and see" - if it worked (which it did after about 6/8 weeks) - well learn to live with that particular treatment.As Jodie says - though - there are loads of different ways to treat your anxiety - but you clearly cannot go on like this can you???I wish you all the very bestSue


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## 20849 (Apr 11, 2007)

Hareesa, u are not the only person who is going thru this. at times when i have been feeling anxious about somethin i get the same way and i don't want to take any mediation either. talking does help or maybe you could try something which would help u relax,yoga or acupuncture? Take some time out, take up a new hobby or get a pet... I have a dog and he helps so much as he takes a lot of attention away from my probs!!


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## 21383 (Apr 9, 2007)

Thanks guys for your input.. I will look at other means, maybe cognitive therapy. I know what you mean about seeking help when things really _are_ not in our hands anymore. I'll hope for the best and see what I can do about it... Having all these lovely understanding people around, though, is a huge relief, it's really good when people acknowledge what I am going through. I feel more at ease discussing it here than with my 'real life' friends. Thanks again


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## Guest (Apr 12, 2007)

Our total pleasure Hareesa - I'm sure that the anonimity of posting here helps doesn't it but yes, I'd say most of us who post on this 'ere forum have certainly "got the t-shirt" so to speak and I'm sure with the right help - its all uphill from here on.Sue xxx


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## 14448 (Jun 14, 2006)

Hey Hareesa,Anxiety's a horrible thing, especially when you can't break the cycle. I'm a strong, determined person but I just can't stop my anxiety spreading- its slowly taken a hold of my life, like a weed.I used to cope with my IBS fairly well and I was less sensitive when I was growing up, but looking back I had a lot of anxiety issues even as a child. I had panic attacks when I was about 8 that my dad dismissed as 'attention seeking'. When I was 14 I had severe OCD and my dad took the tough line with me, he was so angry that I was more scared of him than the OCD and with extreme willpower (and a few months of hell) I managed to get the OCD under control. When I left home I developed social anxiety disorder and now agoraphobia and I'm battling against these, have been trying to win, for 4 years. I NOLONGER BELIEVE IN THE 'STIFF UPPER LIP' APPROACH! You may be able to beat down the anxiety for a while and toughen yourself up, but it returns in other forms. I understand what you mean about wanting to shake and slap yourself but you need to accept yourself as you are NOW- accept the scared, vulnerable part of you as well- instead of condemning it. Be nice to yourself. There are times when I feel like cutting out my intestines but I can't get rid of them, I can only learn to deal with them better.Imagine hitting a nervous horse with a stick to 'toughen it up'- it will become more scared, more nervous and unhappy. Only with gentleness and understanding can it improve.I've been going round in circles trying to cure myself for the last few years. I've tried almost everything- valerian, st.johns wort, counselling, alcohol, self-devised CBT plans, cannabis, forcing myself to confront fears, self-medicating with benzos... and I'm still trapped in the anxiety cycle. This Feb I ended up in hospital after accidently overdosing on benzos and codeine, and was kept on a locked mental health ward for 5 days because I was too paranoid and ashamed to give them my name or details. Now my GP has realised I need help and referred me to a psychiatrist- I have my first appointment on Tue. If he tells me to take anti-depressents (I've never taken them before because I wasn't keen on idea either) I will take them. I'm at the end of my tether. They may not help, but on the other hand they might turn my entire life around or at least give me a helping hand out of this hole I'm stuck in. I know what you mean about the change of lifestyle. I often have dreams about changing my life completely, leaving all the anxiety behind and making a fresh start somewhere like Canada or going to live in the mountains.. but the chances are I'd take the anxiety with me, possibly tip myself over the edge. You can't run away from yourself as someone famous once said.I hope you feel better soon. Keep fighting, be strong, but don't let your determination to do it without help stand in the way of recovery.


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## Guest (Apr 28, 2007)

Oh Sukie - us bloody Brits and our stiff upper lip - what an articulate lady you are - god bless you.Yeah, some of what you say rings many bells with me. I had what, looking back was probably a breakdown in my early 20's and was put on summat horrendous - can't even remember its name but led to compulsive hand and foot washing. My dear, elderly parents were totally out of their depth (although much more lately my dad has spoken both of his dad's suicide and his battle with depression as a young fella at University) - they refused to allow me to see a psychiatrist - and I honestly believe it was shame "we don't have broken vessels in THIS family" - get my drift.Well god bless anyone battling anxiety/depression - believe you me, there are plenty of us about and a big hug - if its any consolation - at nearly 45 - I'm happier and more settled than I've ever been in my life - we'll all get there.Sue xxx


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## 15976 (Nov 22, 2006)

I had anxiety from age 10 to 21 (with a joyous 2 year symptom free period that ended after I had my wisdom teeth out, maybe being unconscious did something, who knows). At 21, I had enough and went for help. I was VERY reluctant to go on meds. Back then they basically only had tricyclics and benzos. I did go on them, slowly, and built up over time to a therapeutic dose. Wow, what a difference! Although I was afraid of risks, I felt it was worth it to live a normal life. I was able to finish college, get a job, date, get married, travel on an airplane, and do things I never did before. Not to mention my IBS basically went away for the first time since puberty. I'm off them now to try and have a baby and it has been a miserable year. With my first child, I got pregnant right away and was fine. This year has taught me that meds really do make a huge difference in the quality of my life.I've tried exercise, relaxation tapes, diet, melatonin, and all kinds of stuff and nothing quite cuts it like meds.


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## Guest (Apr 28, 2007)

Well KAD - at least you know what works - and when the time is right you can go back on them - I think the worst is casting around and finding nowt - and believe you me (cos I was with them in the psychiatric unit) there are plenty people out there for whom there is NO relief from depression and/or anxiety.Take care and all the best.Sue xxxx


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## 18680 (Oct 7, 2005)

SueV said:


> there are plenty people out there for whom there is NO relief from depression and/or anxiety


I would be one of them. Can't take any antidepressants. They have a terrible effect on me. I'm having a really bad run of events with all this. For the last two years I've gone in and out of depression, but for the past two weeks, it's been horrid. Why else would I be sitting up at 3:30 in the morning, watching it rain out my office window? My stomach is on fire. I can't think of one good reason to even leave the house today. I feel like my life is over.


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## jms1963 (Feb 23, 2007)

Mrs. P -Your life is not over - you are just having a bad time of it right now. I understand how you feel







It's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel ....I so wish I had the magic answer for youSending you great big hugs


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## Guest (May 3, 2007)

Oh hugs to you hunny bunch - we all adore you - if there's anything anybody can do - please, thats what we're here for - I absolutely can relate - I really think there is NOTHING worse than feeling like this - please get back in touch Mrs P.Sue xxxxx


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## miriam19 (May 23, 2007)

* Sorry this is so long but i hope u will take time to read my story and maybe it will help you or you can help me or relate to how i have lived the last 2yrs of my life*hey its such a relif to know others are going through the same as i am!my story so far ....im 19, i got what i thought was travelers diorea after comeing back form a 2week missionary trip to india with my church when i was 17, i left my symtoms for about 2months and thoght that they would go away untill they became unbareable. i went to see my Gp and he said to do some stool tests to see if i had pickedup a paracite from india that test came back clear, then he did a stol test for IBS this also came bck clear i also had got an anal fissure (cut in my bottom) form being constipated then haveing dioreh and strainging to go to the toilet







.my Gp told me to take on a wheat and diary free diet for 2months then go bck onto awheat and dariy diet i did this and couldnt belive the change when i stoped eating wheat and dairy. At this time i was also suffering from culture shock and was depresed and was very anxious about few things. so i was put on anit-depresants and was given an appointment to see counciler this helped alot but things keeped geting in the way like exams and family things and people in my family telling me i shouldnt be on aint-depresants. so i tookmyselfof them (BIG MISTAKE!!!!!!!!!!) after i came of them my anxiety was worse than ever i was scared of needles, hopitals and flying big time!!!! goingout clubing has becomea big roblem for me and going out with friend has become hard aswell becuse they dont understend how i feel or what imging through!!!!!!!!i went back to my Gp and said what do i do?? he said go back on aint-depresants for few months then come of them slowly but i didnt want to because of all the hassle i got for beng on them in the 1st place so everything wasleft at that .........2yrs later i split up from my long term boyfriend and was alot happyer but i stll had alot of anxiety i have had enough of anxiety and dizzy spells and feeling faint and stomch crmps and feeling all around very low about things my dad said i have got private medical cover go and geth this all sorted out but being scared of neadles and hospitals makeing me feel very anxious i refused. i had a new manin my life b this time and he is so supportdnever pushingmeto do things but always encourageing me to do things that i feel anxious about, after thingabout this for along time and talking to my boy friend abut it i decided i had, had enough and went and got referd to a bowle expert at my local private hospital, he said i had to have a blood test and see from there







this made me avery very anixous but i though id rather have a blood test and get all this sorted coz i cant go on liveing how i am any longer!!! so my resluts have come back yesterdsay with hat i have IBS i have been put on fybogel and a pill and thi is hopefully going to calm down things and hopefully get me back on the right track. i have over come alot with the help of my new boyfriend i have over come needles and have had 2 teethouth and fillings a blood test and hdmy ears pearced again it doesnt song like alot but for people that are really scared of needles ita a big step!!!!


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