# Update on my anxiety



## cherrypie09 (Jan 20, 2009)

HiThe week before last was a good week, my IBS-D pretty good with the immodium, the anxiety getting better. Last week not too bad either. This week it has been hell, I am so uptight like a coiled spring, I had tests on wednesday for anal muscle control, Bad D before i went, my nerves were a mess. Today i went to the shops, dosed up with my usual immodium, suddenly had the urge for the loo, so i headed for the public loos in town, was in there ages. went to the bank and there was a queue, my stomach started gurgling, things started moving , i got out of there quick, in a big panic, drove the 30 mins home like mad and even ran a red light, just made it into the bathroom. Why oh why does the anxiety play up, which in turn plays the ibs-d up, after nearly two good weeks, i am today feeling like i want to curl up in a ball and hide, i feel so down and in a right state. Its been 4 months since this anxiety and depression started, surely i should be getting over it by now.


----------



## CatUK (Dec 15, 2006)

It is awful when anxiety starts to rule your life. I've had the anxiety and depression for over 2 years now and tired so many different medications and am still suffering with it.Keep your chin up and tell yourself you are just going through a rough patch. I'm sure getting out in the nice weather this weekend will help, I'm going to try and do that myself.


----------



## Kathleen M. (Nov 16, 1999)

4 months isn't all that long in getting depression and anxiety under control.Try to focus on the fact you are starting to have good days and good weeks. That is really good progress.It isn't a conditions that just gets better every day. There are going to be starts and stops and good days and bad days. As long as you work towards having more good days than bad days (with both the IBS and the anxiety) you are going in the right direction.Getting all upset when you have a bad day doesn't help you get more good ones. If you can accept that it will be an up and down process you'll get through it faster than assuming every set back means no progress has been made.


----------



## Guest (May 29, 2009)

Unfortunately, as I've said many times before, you cannot put a timescale on anxiety and depression - its an untamed beast and needs properly addressing either with the appropriate medication or by alternative techniques such as meditation and relaxation.Just see this as a small set-back - you get very worked up about tests and other procedures don't you - often its after the stressful event that your mental state can play "catch up" and plunge you back down the hill again.Even now - I still have rocky days - try and see this as just that - a small setback and take heart - you've had 2 good weeks - no reason why you shouldn't have plenty more.Sue


----------



## cherrypie09 (Jan 20, 2009)

Thanks for the support and advice, I know it takes time and its so downheartning when things start going backwards when you have started to go forwards. Ive got another 3 hospital appointments coming up, a CT Scan on the 11th june, I see my gastro spec on the 16th june and a surgeon for my hemerroids on the 7th july. at this rate i am going to take months to recover, the way i get so anxious and uptight over things.


----------



## MollyB (May 3, 2009)

It takes baby steps to get better, Cherrypie. Just a little bit at a time. You are stronger than you realize and we are ready to support you when you have a bad day.Molly


----------



## Guest (May 31, 2009)

So Cherry - you've got a really gruesome month ahead of you - no denying that - and I do know how soul-sapping and exhausting tests and procedures are (lets face it - I get mithered every time the postie comes cos I had a smear about 2 weeks' ago). Somehow, you've got to get through this lot haven't you. Forgive me, I can't remember what anxiety meds you are on - but perhaps get the GP to prescribe a short-course of diazipam (god spelling sorry) - just to tide you over til all these hospital appts are out of the way - you need your sleep and these might help as a stop-gap til the beginning of July?In the meantime, as Molly says - she, I and Cat are all routing for you - a long with many others I'm sure.Sue xxx


----------



## cherrypie09 (Jan 20, 2009)

Hi SueIm on the same anxiety meds as you, 30mg Mirtazapine, the doctor has given me diazapam to help.Today and yesterday i have got up and straight away felt uptight and anxious, i dont really know why, it makes me feel like i am going mad. Thank you for being there for me all of you, its much appreciated. I just wish all of this IBS-D and the Anxiety and Depression would all go away and give me my old life back.


----------



## Guest (May 31, 2009)

Trouble is Cherry - it won't - not without alot of bloody hard work and persistence from you. You have alot of your plate at the moment with all these procedures - so just try and take it one day at a time. After that - its down to you - pushing yourself a little bit out of your comfort zone every day and you will find - you get one good day, then another. Abit of gentle exercise is supposed to be good for you too - gets those endorphines up and moving!!!I never take my mental health for granted - I just treasure all the good times. I think mental health issues make you "savour the moment" alot more and enjoy the good time.Sue


----------



## cherrypie09 (Jan 20, 2009)

I would love to get out and do more things, but this blasted IBS-D is so unpredictable, even with taking the immodium and calcium I sometimes still have to rush to the loo. Ive been in the garden again this weekend, its only small, but a little bit every now and again keeps it growing well. I am feeling realy bad at the moment with the ibs-d and the anxiety, there doesnt seem to be any let up.


----------



## Kathleen M. (Nov 16, 1999)

When things get bad it helps to focus on the fact that you recently had a good spellReally.Focusing only on it is bad so it will always be bad and you will never get better only intensifies the anxiety, the depression and the IBS symptoms.I really found that as I could focus on the fact I had a good spell (and for a long time I never had any good days ever with my IBS) so that meant I could have another good spell at any moment my symptoms eased up a lot faster than when I dwelt on the it is bad again.It isn't easy to do that, but when you find yourself thinking it can never be good again stop yourself (even shout stop really loud inside your head, or out loud if you are alone) and then remind yourself you had a good week not that long ago and you look forward to the next good week.


----------



## cherrypie09 (Jan 20, 2009)

Thank you, it sounds so easy, i know that its right, but i dont find it easy, ive become obsessed with my IBS-D and i worry about all aches and pains which yes i know makes it worse. I just need to tackle the anxiety and the ibs-d in a way that it makes a big impact, i am letting it all get to me, it feels like i am drowning in so many feelings, some days i feel so bad, it makes me think im going mad.


----------



## Guest (Jun 1, 2009)

Well you're doing the right thing - the garden is great - its safe, its home turf, you know where the loo is and gardening is good physical graft - great at releasing those endorphines.Just ride out the storm luvvie - it will get better.Sue xxx


----------



## Kathleen M. (Nov 16, 1999)

I've always found the things that sound the easiest are usually the hardest to implement.I know it is difficult but you have to find what works for you to get you out of the negative spiral that just makes things worse. I am sure if you keep at it, you will find what that is for you.


----------



## CatUK (Dec 15, 2006)

I know exactly how you are feeling cherry from all the pming we've been doing. I feel awful all the time lately myself so know how hard it is to keep the anxiety under control especially when there is no reason for you to feel anxious. I made myself get out and about in the sun this weekend despite my anxiety being really bad due to hormones but I did enjoy myself once out. Managed 2 hours of shopping in town and even going into a coffee shop and eating a piece of cake. Even felt better because as I got off the bus in town a group of lads were there and I heard one of them say she's nice and they were looking at me lol. Even though they were probably no more than 20 and I'm 29 it made me chuckle lol.Just keep going with everything you are doing and you will get there. I'm constantly worrying about what could go wrong when I go to the Take That concert as I've worked out it's about a 12 hour day, a long long day for me (the most I've done in the last few years is 6 hours). I know I'll probably be ok and have a fab time but it's my brain going around in circles and saying what if, but as you know cherry we can't live our lives with what if, we just have to somethings.You know where I am if you want to chat


----------



## Guest (Jun 1, 2009)

You know girls - one thing I kept going - even at my illest - I did cooking - I found concoting dishes to be therapeutic and absorbing. Dig out those recipe books and get busy.Sue


----------



## CatUK (Dec 15, 2006)

Thanks Sue. I do the cooking every night making all sorts (unless I'm feeling sick then can't be around food). At the moment though it's that hot I can't stomach a hot meal, living on sandwiches and ice cream at the moment lol


----------



## Guest (Jun 1, 2009)

Ah but there's heaps of brilliant salads - years' ago - I got an Italian cookbook from my auntie - my poor daughter Clare is having a horrible week - GCSE's every day and Jack has some A level papers too - so I've just spent about 2 hours making bread and tomato salad, some wierd broad bean puree with proscutio ham - which I must admit looks like the inside of a babby's nappy but tastes great and some wilted spinach with Jersey royals and soft-boiled eggs. I'm knackered!!!Sue


----------

