# feel like im failing life



## missbecky (Oct 10, 2011)

Hi this is my first post and thought what better way than to share my story so far and see if anyone replys as i know i cant be the only person who feels this way right now.I started having problems when i was around 15 and it used to be so bad that i would be in horrific pain after eating and after about 30mins of rollin around on the bed in tears i would either be sick or have diarrhoea. Beacause of this i skipped school and lets just say i didnt do very well when it came to my GCSE's. This stopped suddenly when i got with my current partner, for no reason it just disappeared and i was 'normall', i could eat what i wanted when i wanted, drink, smoke and none of it mattered. That is until the birth of my son which was last november since then for a little while each month i'd have a week of having diarrhoea and stomach cramps, till about 4 months ago where it got worse and more frequent. I have now had constant spasams,diarrhoea/constipation, horrific abdomonal pain for over a month. Everything i eat sets it off so i now have a really unhealthy relationship with food i know this doesn't help but its a hard cycle to break out of when your scared to eat a meal cause it makes you feel so ill after. I now feel house bound as the pain and problems come on so sudden, i've never been someone to use public toilets to poo because i find it embaressing, where now i have no choice i find it easier just to stay in as in a sad little way that is me having control of that embaressment. I have tried lots of diffrent drugs to help but now even my doctor has had to give in and reffer me to a specialist, who i hope to see soon as the past week i have been incredably ill with this.The worst part for me is that i feel like im failing as a mother and as a partner. Im finding it hard to look after my son by myself as im always trying to stay as still as possable so the cramps and pain go away and it doesnt flair up to a full blown sat on the toilet in agony for hours. I cant take him on days out because of it and in general feel that i cant give him what i should be. Its now straining my 4 year relationship because i cant do these things my partner does them and he's exsausted and doesnt quite understand IBS i think at times he thinks im lieing or over exagerating in order to get out of doing something which of corse then leeds to stress and rows which makes the whole illness a million times worse and all the relaxation i tried goes out the window. Its like a constant cycle of hell that i cant seem to crawl out from. I do light exercise by cleaning the house everyday i try to have regular healthy meals im constantly taking buscapan tablets to try n ease the spasms i dont smoke ive cut all caffine and fizzy drinks from my diet, it just seems like everthing i try isnt working.Im 21 and feel robbed of life i know this post seems like im awfully depressed but im not i try to stay posative and happy and not only that the love my son gives me i am happy just fed up and slowly starting to get depressed. I know theres sufferers worse than this but i also know im not the only one who feels this way so i wanted to share this to get tips and ideas on what i could try but also in a odd way give slight hope to them like me especially young mothers that you are not alone.Thank you for reading this and thank you even more to thoose whom reply p.s. im sorry for my spelling and gramer im not very good lol


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## Lillett (Jun 4, 2006)

Becky, I hear ya. I have had IBS since before my daughter was born so that's about 10 years now. I think you are going down the right path by seeing a specialist. You did not say but have you had a colonoscopy done? Could it be something other than IBS? Likely that will be pursued by your specialist. In the meantime, you are taking care of your child and your partner by pursuing treatment for this. Your general practitioner first and now the specialist. Keep that in mind. Also, you are doing light housekeeping and preparing meals. That is also caring for your family. Perhaps, you can't run around at the park with your child right now, but you are there with him and try to do things that you can with him such as reading books, coloring, etc. If you have to potty in the middle of it, you are some place where you can go. Go and then resume the activity. I have been coloring with my kids before and got up like three times. Kids are happy with the time you are there with them and don't count the potty breaks! With your partner, try to not let this interfere with your relationship with them. I know that's hard to understand but do what you can. Need some romance? Put your child to bed early and you guys have a candlelight dinner at home. You probably don't feel like going out but this is a nice substitute. Perhaps you can't be intimate as much as they want. Well, hugging, kissing, touching are good too. When you do feel good, seize the opportunity. I guess I am saying, make the best of what you can when you can. You are not failing. You have an illness that is acting up. You will get better. Stuff that has worked for me now and in the past has been probiotics, mint capsules, stress reduction and excercise. I don't feel awesome every day but I do the best I can. Stay in touch.


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