# why me?



## sad_eyes (Mar 19, 2002)

hi everyone, i'm michele, i'm 18 years old and i was just diagonsed w/ this wonderful little condition about 6 months ago. right now i'm open to any suggestions to make my life sucks less. only 2 of my freinds know what's wrong w/ me, all my other freinds think i'ma sick head case and think i'm blowing them off but it's not that i don't want to go out and go things w/ them, i'm just....scared to. i even broke up w/ my boyfreind when i got diagonsed cuz i thought that he would as soon as he founds out what was wrong w/ me, that's the hardest thing too, trying to find a guy when u have a problem like this. if anyone can give me some advice, i'm so open to anything...thanx







XXXXsad_eyesXXX


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## Maverick (May 16, 2002)

Hello Michelle, as someone said in an earlier thread the hardest time is just after you have been diagnosed - id recomend reading up as much as you can cos I did I realised I was doing things all wrong!!I was and still a bit afraid of going out but what I find helps is if you force yourself to go out everyday - even it's just down the road and back - this helps build your confidence!After time you'll soon be back in the thick of it im sure!!All the best anyway! x


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## Marmite (May 17, 2002)

Well youï¿½ve definitely done the right thing coming on the web and finding this little family. We can probably all sympathise with the nightmare of diagnosis, the 'no cure' thing, the fact that so few people know about and understand the condition, the fact that it is so personal and is different for every sufferer. But fear not my little chicken, read up on it, do as much as you can and I garuntee you will feel better about it. As soon as you start to take a 'Iï¿½m a double-hard ###### and Iï¿½m not taking any of this IBS ####' stance you will see how much better things are with a positive attitude. The mental state really does affect the way you feel physically, wierd!Cheer up charlie, remember we are always here.


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## sad_eyes (Mar 19, 2002)

thank you so much guys for replying to my pathetic little plea, hehe, i know i just have to learn to live with this but it is hard, as you said. And Maverick,i took your advice of just going around the block, hehe, i almost forgot how freakin bright the sun is! lol all i need to know now is, how the heck do u go about explaining this?! hehe thanx again though, much love XXXmicheleXXX


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## JackieGian (Mar 23, 2002)

Here's a link that might help http://www.ibsgroup.org/main/aboutibs.html


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## Maverick (May 16, 2002)

Hello again!







You reply made me smile! I was exactly the same as you when I first went out after spending 3 months indoors- the sun even made my eyes go funny - It was strange to see that there was a whole world out there again!I just wanted to say that I don't believe that you just have to live with or put up with the symptoms - there are loads of treatments available that at first I didn't even realise existed so look them up and see what's best for you!It's at excellent idea to get yourself out - im pretty lucky because I have a big garden and spent most days practising football, sunbathing or using my weight lifting equiptment, it makes you feel a lot better when you look in the mirror and see a nice healthy glow - even though you may not feel up to much!!My symptoms are improving all the time and am sure that by the end of this year ill be all sorted!!I not an expert by any means but feel free to ask any questions!


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## buttburn (Nov 17, 1999)

heehee, yeah it's not fun having this crappy (no pun intended) problem. Hmm, I wouldn't have dumped the boyfriend, when I was diagnosed I was damn embarassed but I came right out and told my girlfriend what the deal was "sorry my love, but I seem to have a habit of crapping all the time...I wouldn't go in the bathroom right now if I were you" LOL. Funny enough she stayed with me - been six years since and we're still together. Even weirder, she ended being diagnosed with IBS-C a short while later (sympathetic illness maybe?). As for explaining it to your friends, well, you can tell them the truth and I hate to say this, but you might actually lose some - not all your friends are as cool as they pretend to be (same with everyone's group of friends), or you could do what I do, I just tell everyone that I have a bazillion food allergies and that I'd rather not eat anything. Or that they cause severe stomach cramps, etc. I've noticed that if your friends think your problems are the result of you eating something they can accept it more easily than telling them that you just poop all the time for no reason.And as for getting out, do it. It's good for you, I'm a crazy biker, ride about 50km a day (100 on sundays) and if I have to ####, well I just jump right off the bike and go in the ditch, I no longer care what anyone thinks as they drive by. But that's just me.


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## sad_eyes (Mar 19, 2002)

thanx again guys, and buttburn ( love the name), you are hilarious and hell yea to you and your gal, hehe, about the ditch...i dunno if i could go THAT far! lol,i'm gonna do some reading up, seeing as i have all this newfound free time and hopefully it'll be ok, thanx guys, u rock much luv n stuff XXXmicheleXXX


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## Nikki (Jul 11, 2000)

Hi, sorry, had not seen this post yet. Have been very bust with exams and whatnot.Hi Sad_eyes, welcome to the board! Yes, i would say when you have just been diagnosed is the hardest. But it does get easier with time, i promise. I have only just started to sort mine out after nearly 4 years. I did hypnotherapy, or "Mikes tapes" www.ibsaudioprogram.com (or look of CBT and Hypno forum on the BB) and spoke to my doctor more.Don't keep yourself locked away in your house. You will just become bitter, at least try and get out once a day. Tell your friends about it too. It will be a massive wieght off your mind. If you have any questions feel free to PM me or post for me here!Hope you feel better soonSpliff


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## jamiethorntonlewis (May 22, 2002)

Hey there sad eyes. I am a 22 yr old guy and feel exactly the same. I have only told one of my mates how ill i am because th doctor's can't diagnose me with anything yet they keep changing their minds. Hey I am sure u will find a b/f and probably a damn good one because it would show that he really cares for u even if u r ill right now. Believe it will get better!!! It just must.Jamie


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## LJones (May 30, 2002)

Hey Michelle, I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through a bad time right now. I was diagnosed not too long ago and I really don't know too much about IBS. I have a hard time telling people too because not a lot of people have heard about it and I know some people think I make it up. I don't think it will be hard for you to find/keep a bf. The only problem I have right now is that my bf keeps offering me things I can't eat, but other than that, he's really understanding about it. I'm sure you are going to find someone that will care about you more than your IBS, and if he doesn't, then he's not good enough for you! I hope you are feeling better soon, I know how you feel.


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## MissMeliss (Apr 9, 2002)

Hey Michelle... i was diagnosed last summer. Im 20 now and i know exactly what u are going through! Luckily my conditions have gotten alot better but some days they come back to haunt me!Im very open with things so all my friends knew about my problem and still do. It's funny when each weeek they ask me how my bowels are doing! And they understood when i needed to go home quickly. God i hate those emergencies! And just by talking about it openly ive found about 5 other woman in my town that have it too! so its nice to exchange remedies that work. I hope everything goes well for you! later girl


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## justme555 (Aug 15, 1999)

Sorry to hear about the problems, Michelle, but as has been said, everyone here is in the same boat to one extent or another.The explanation about food allergies is not only a good one, but may be quite accurate. I've found that tomato sauces almost always get a reaction. If I'm at home or on my way there, I may take the chance and eat pizza. (A slice of tomato on a samdwich does not seem to have this effect.)You *will* find some answers as time goes along, and you can be sure that your true friends will not only understand, but several may become a "buffer zone" between you and others. That is, they will know what is going on, and help "cover" you while you are having trouble. Best wishes!


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## sad_eyes (Mar 19, 2002)

thank you guys sooo much **muah** unfortunatley i have bad news to report, hehe i had to go to the emergency room today because i couldn;t hold food in or down for 5 days and i got really ill and lost even more weight, probably all due to stress...my parents just split up and my mom skipped off to canada so i'm hoping that just triggered it but just knowing that other people's lives blow like mine is therapy enough







thanx everyone, i luv ya lotsXXXmicheleXX


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## kinetic (Oct 19, 2001)

hey michele (sad_eyes),sorry to hear about your recent problems... I can definitely relate, as most people on here probably can as well... I went through a time when I was constantly sick for 6 days, so I know what that's like... I couldn't go to the doctor either at that time because I had no insurance, and actually for the next month after that I was sick pretty much every day (though not every waking minute like the first 6 days). I lost a considerable amount of weight too (for me anyway) and dropped to 120 pounds (i'm about 5'10). The good news though, is that it does get better... the more you learn what triggers things for you, the better you are able to control when it happens. Telling friends can be difficult, because usually they don't completely understand, and it's hard to talk about... I'd suggest printing out the brocure from the homepage http://www.ibsgroup.org/main/aboutibs.html and giving it to at least your closest friends, and hopefully that will help give you a little more support and understanding from them... As to the relationship, I'd say you prolly should have given him a chance... he might have surprised you and stuck with you through it, and there's nothing better (in my book anyway) than having a significant other that supports you and understands your problems... the happier you are, the less IBS seems to hit you







and interestingly enough... like buttburn, I also dated someone and told them about having IBS, and a few months later, it turned out they had it too... we've since broke up, but are still good friends, so it's not a complete loss







another thing... definitely try to stay active and social as much as you can... even if you have to force yourself to do it sometimes... it might be hard sometimes, but it'll help keep you from getting depressed and secluding yourself from other people... and... after a very rambling post... I think I'm done for now







hope some of it helps anyway


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## TheFutureIsClear (Feb 19, 2002)

im 18 too. i know ibs is the worst thing in the world it seems sometimes. i would love to talk to you anytime... i need someone to relate to!


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## ariel (Jun 13, 2002)

Hi Michele,I was recently diagnosed with IBS even though I had the symptoms a while back. My friends and my bf have all been very supportive of me. I told all my very close friends about IBS and they have been very understanding. When I feel embarrassed telling my other friends about the condition, I just tell them that my stomach is very sensitive with everything I eat. They are really great about it and just sympathize for me. There was this one time when I was at the movie theatre with my bf and friends. Half way into the movie, my D just flared up. I went running to the restroom. I was sitting in the middle of the aisle and didn't want to keep getting up and down from my seat to run to the restroom so when I got back to the movie, I stood in the walkway and continued to watch the rest of the movie. My bf came looking for me and when he found me sitting in the walkway, he sat down with me. I told him to go back and sit with our other friends but he wouldn't leave me. After the movie ended, we met up with our friends again. My friends just asked if I was okay and we acted like nothing happened. It's really great when your friends and bf are supportive. I hope you feel comfortable enough telling the rest of your friends one of these days. Also, don't worry about finding a guy. The right one will stand by your side even when you're in Hawaii and need to have access to the restrooms at all times.


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## PippylongStockings (Jun 6, 2002)

Sad you sound just like me! I lost lots of friends who just assumed I was either blowing them off to be rude or was mental since I didn't share it with them. I'm afraid to date because of it too. And I havent been able to really make friends because I just don't feel like explaining. If you find out a way to not feel miserable let me know!


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## Sydney11 (Jun 14, 2002)

Hey pippy, I know how you feel. I'm afraid to date cuz if it too. Dates include food. I find working out takes my mind off everything. For instance I'm training myself to do my first triathlon this summer, which takes lots of time and energy to train to do. Who needs a date when u've got a real focus?My close friends here at home are pretty cool, but my friends at school don't understand and don't want to. They just think i'm a hermit and don't wanna hang out with them, when really, i just don't want to do what they're doing.


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## jennieb54143 (Jun 30, 2002)

hey sad,thanks for asking about this. i was diagoned at the er last night. i found everything said very usefull. Ive only told myfamily and a couple of my chat buddys. Not looking forward to telling my best freind. fair warning to yall I talk to much. lol yapping on,jennies)my nickname is baby b if anyone cares *r*


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## sad_eyes (Mar 19, 2002)

hey everyone, i haven't been online for awhile. that is because that guy i talked about and i got back together, i told him what i have he doesn't really know what it is, but he understans that i feel bad a lot and takes really good care of me. i'm much happier since i decided to stop being scared if i would be a total gross out or not, he hasn't had to be around for anything too gruesome yet, but he will, and i have a good feeling he won't run away







if anyone ever wants to talk just e-mail me anytime u want : sad_dead_eyes420###yahoo.com........mmk? much luv guys XXXmicheleXXX







<--- i love that face! lol


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## Nolan (Aug 27, 2002)

my ibs is 100% mental so, not havin fun= angry mess in toilet and havin fun with friends/hangin out=perfect and when i think about it i better get like medicine or somethin cause there are lots of times in life your not hangin out with friends and yes i got the tests and yes i had the anal probe heh i have ibs-c


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## Nolan (Aug 27, 2002)

ah im dumb i have ibs-d mine are angry messes not





















AHHHHHHHH you got my point lol


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## Nolan (Aug 27, 2002)

wait its not 100% mental how is that possible man i should think before i talk... i bet 75% mental cause i eat healthy and everything but i still feel like ****...can i say that? everyday and its really anoyying!


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## PippylongStockings (Jun 6, 2002)

Sydney I hear the hermit thing! Someone I've known for a while came over last week and called me a hermit. I wanted to punch them in the stomach about 50 times and say so if you felt like this more days than not would you want to go out clubbing or anywhere else for that fact!


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## colestid (Sep 3, 2002)

I am with butt burn. I just live life and deal with it as it comes. I just make a mental note of all the bathrooms where ever i go. And make use of resources along the way.....My friends understand me and have stuck with me through some very embarrassing moments. Some of which: D in a tanning bed once (after eating pizza). In a parking lot, side of road, and once at 2:30 am after eating a meatball sub from subway i had to emergency stop in a friendly neighborhood and help myself to someoneï¿½s yard. (hopefully they will think it's from the neighbors dog) I have learned to accept it and live life with no regrets. And carry TP everywhere I go.I am now taking Colestid, which has tremendously, helped stop the D attacks. I thank God for Colestid, and finding a doctor who actually helped.Anyways, that's my story.


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## sad_eyes (Mar 19, 2002)

HeeeeeeeY!!! I have goodness to report. My condition isn't any better, but my boyfreind, Josh knows everything and takes care of me soooo great. He even goes to my therapist appointments w/ me. He's great to me. We plan on getting married on Halloween in 2 years. He still loves me even tho i'm a whiny, crying, pain riden, **** machine! hehe. A lot of "friends" jetted out on me, but oh well. I got my closest ones, and Josh, I don't need much more. I also have a suggestion for you guys. Lomotil. It fixes the dreaded 'D' in a matter of minutes. You can't take it too too often, but i call them my "Wonder Pills" hehe. I hope everyone else is doing cool. Thanx for all the responses guys, ur freakin' awesome!!! XXXMicheleXX


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