# Feeling sorry for myself



## em_t (Jun 8, 2010)

Hi everyone,This message is probably a bit self indulgent but I've no-one else I can talk to. Have been pretty ill for the past 2 weeks, almost constant pain from the moment I get up till I go to bed, nausea every single day, pain when I eat and pain from taking laxatives. My stomach was really upset on Friday and I had some plain crackers and oatcakes to settle it and now I haven't been to the toilet since then. I've been taking my regular laxatives, but starting to feel really ill, went through a bad phase yesterday of not being able to pee again and almost blacking out anytime I got up - I just don't know what to do anymore. I thought I was about to go to the bathroom this morning when a huge wave of nausea hit me, but nothing. Just feel really ill and getting really upset, my family don't know what to do, can't cope with the constant nausea!I know my doctors will be of no use to me and tell me to take Movicol, which I can't do - it makes me feel worse. I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. Getting up everyday seems like such a struggle, I'm not depressed, just wish life was a bit easier at the minute.Thanks for listening, its good to know I have someone to talk toEm


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## emmaw (Dec 30, 2010)

oh bless you emma if you ever need a chat then please email me, do feel for you its horrid glad i don't get constipation only the odd occasions. I have felt rough the last week too and just want to be able to eat lovely food that i like, i think bananas could be affecting me now too.


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## em_t (Jun 8, 2010)

Hey Emma,Its hard because I feel truly ill, not just tired and the usual IBS stuff, but like something's actually wrong. I was sick earlier and just brought up bile, and still haven't been to the loo. I'm reluctant to go back to my doctor's because they treat me like a hypochondriac. I'm worried because its all the symptoms of an obstruction again. How are you feeling now, has your last attack passed or are you still feeling rough? I know bananas are constipating for some people but good for diarrhoea - its just such a minefield!


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## annie7 (Aug 16, 2002)

HI Em--so sorry you're having such a bad time of it--even worse usual. the bad patches are truly difficult--i've had a couple of them myself in the last week when even the laxatives didn't work and yes, the huge hard painful bloated belly, nausea etc---you have my sympathy--and empathy. sometimes i try an enema when things get that bad--either a small one or just fill up the entire big red enema bag--usually that helps me feel at least somewhat better--clears things out a bit. that ods (obstructed defacation) website link i posted earlier had a section about rectal irrigation. http://www.obstructed-defaecation.com/Rectal%20irrigation.htmlyou mentioned feeling sick--maybe you have a touch of the flu? and bile--have you had your gall bladder tested? maybe that's acting up..sure do hope you feel better soon. if i'm remembering this correctly, you have an appointment coming up soon with a gastro doc soon? sure do hope he can help you. and NOT treat you like a hypochrondriac--that you most definitely are NOT.please take good care of yourself. hope you feel better soon. pm me if you ever want to talk.


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## em_t (Jun 8, 2010)

Hi Annie,Thanks for your kind words. Its just so hard, have been barely eating for the past week, sometimes just 2 pieces of toast a day, which I know is why I probably feel weak, but can't eat anymore when I'm this constipated. Think the bringing up bile was because I hadn't eaten, don't think I've a problem with gallbladder because I haven't eaten any fat at all recently, just toast and rice. Although my BMs had been sorta clay coloured recently, which I read can be indicative of gallbladder problems. Don't think I've flu, think its just the constipation, plus I feel like my stomach doesn't empty properly either which is probably contributing to it. Tried a microenema earlier, 5 mL Micralax but had no effect. Have never tried a home enema, wouldn't know where to get the kit, don't know if you can get them in UK pharmacies and wouldn't wanna try in case I hurt myself. I wonder at times whether an emema would even work because I feel like I have no contractions left in my bowel and wouldn't want the water to get stuck there - probably an impossibility though! I did have an appointment with my gastroenterologist though and he's ordered a transit test to test how slow my colon is. He thinks it might be obstructed defecation and he was really good, he really listened to me too which was good. Finding it hard to stay strong at the minute, wish they could actually take my colon out at this stage because having so many problemsThanks AnnieEm x


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## annie7 (Aug 16, 2002)

yes, it is hard--especially when you can't eat on top of everything else. sometimes when i get that bad i drink a liquid nutrition drink--like ensure--the french vanilla is good...don't know if ensure is available in the uk but i think there's something like it called forti-sips or something like that.. but yes, it is important to keep your nutrition up so you don't get too weak. or good ol fashioned chicken soup maybe.. or an instant breakfast drink or even a milkshake--whatever appeals to you..just so you get some kind of nutrients inside you...and yes please do stay strong--i know it's really hard to do that but you must--you will...glad to hear you have a good gastro doc and that he actually listens (!!) --so important. that's good he's ordered the transit test so you can find out what's up with that. and it sounds like he's going to be checking you out for obstructed defecation too--which is also good. please don't lose hope--you'll get through this--your doc will help you get to the bottom of it all and figure out what's going on and find a way to bring you some relief..take care...


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## em_t (Jun 8, 2010)

Thanks Annie,I was actually prescribed Fortisips for a while when my weight got too low, 91 lbs (I'm only 5'1" though) but I'm now about 102 so don't know if they'll prescribe them unless my BMI is too low. Went through a phase last year of being unable to even drink water without being in terrible pain and living off ice lollies and Fortisips. Was even hospitalised but they could find no reason for it, OGD was clear. Had an ultrasound just over a year ago to check gallbladder but told it was fine too. Gastro doc was good but there's only limited testing they do here on the NHS and as usual I'm being really impatient, just want everything done now so I'm not suffering as much.I've had to move back home because of everything which is especially hard because I was always so independent and my family can do nothing to help me because there's no pain relief I can take and pain really wears you down. I used to be so happy go lucky but now I'm constantly tired and irritable. They know why I'm like this but hate having to apologise for being moody all the time.


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## annie7 (Aug 16, 2002)

so sorry you have so much pain. i can't take any pain killers either. the opioids all cause bad c anyway--no way do i ever take those--even when i've had surgery. all i do for pain relief is use my trusty microwaveable heating pad. heat it up, lie down, put it on my tummy, sometimes using it to massage around the sore spots in my colon and breathe deeply--try to empty my mind of all thoughts of the pain. freqently that helps unkink the spasms or whatever it is that causes the pain. at the very least, it's comforting. of course you don't want to get it too hot--don't want belly burns. but i imagine you've tried this..and yes, that is rough about having to move back home and everything--makes it hard. i know what you mean about the moodiness, apologies.. . i try not to let all the pain on the bad bad days affect my mood but like you said, all that pain really wears one down..makes it hard to stay upbeat and chipper. we just do the best we can..be kind to yourself..don't beat up on yourself too much.that's a shame about the nhs limiting tests. i have a similar problem here in the states because my health insurance won't pay for certain tests--for example, tests for pelvic floor dysfunction like the anorectal manometry nor will they pay for pfd physical therapy or cbt. i wish insurance would take gastro problems seriously and recognize how debiliting they are and how adversely they affect one's quality of life.have you tried resolor--prucalopride? it's a script--supposed to help with ibs-c and chronic constipation--helps motility. i've read it's available in the uk now but not over here in the usa yet. http://www.movetis.com/resolor-prucalopride http://www.medicines.org.uk/EMC/printfriendlydocument.aspx?documentid=23206&companyid=3047


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## debbie38london (Oct 1, 2010)

hiya em i know how your feeling im in the same boat im always conispated i hate taking movicol causes hurts so much after, ive been drinking peppermint tea which is not helping, have you been to your local hospital, i went to mine today and was up there hours , and they said i have to wait for my ultra scan on 21st feb, im going take some andrews liver salts to help with conispation and wind, my family cant help me either im in tears alot, i also have bipolar disorder aswell so not helping either, if you need to chat im am here , debs xx


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## em_t (Jun 8, 2010)

Thanks everyone for your help. I don't take painkillers at all, I can't take aspirin or ibuprofen because I have a sensitive stomach and paracetamol doesn't really help so I just rely on my hot water bottle but now have burns because one night I literally collapsed into bed and fell asleep on top of it when it was really hot, but don't really care, not planning on wearing a bikini any time soon lol! With the NHS its pot luck really, some doctors are more likely to refer you for tests whereas others won't, sometimes you have to be really pushy. I'd imagine its the same in the States where insurance companies probably try and avoid paying up if they can.I have Prucalopride but have been unable to give it a fair trial recently because my constipation's been so bad over the past few weeks and I was told not to take laxatives with it. Debbie, sorry to hear you're having a hard day again. The only thing I would say is don't take too many different types of laxatives at once. I would take either the Andrews Liver Salts or Movicol - you don't want to be crippled in pain. Hope some of the tests come back with some answers!Em xx


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## Lauzy (Feb 7, 2010)

Hi Em! So sorry to hear how bad things are for you right now. Do you ever get relief? I tendto get episodes-can last a week or months-then I'm normal for a while until inevitably it starts again. I was in terrible pain over the summer last year but it seemed there was no one who could help me.Tho I'm not in pain at mo, nothing seems to be working at mo-permanently bloated, rumbly and full of wind. Ob. I never seem to go to the loo either-laxatives don't even seem to work!! I'm afraid I have no advice but it does feel good to have a moan when you miserable. I find the easiest thing for me to eat is chocolate...sounds mad I know! Sometimes I have it for breakfast, lunch and dinner! IT is easier than worrying and fussing over food!! Not healthy I know but I guess you gotta do whatever is best for you when it like this. I really hope you find something to help you, i'm at a dead end at mo, nothing more to try....so i just wait x


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## em_t (Jun 8, 2010)

Hi Lauzy,Just sent you a reply to your message about the Movicol there. Nope, never really seem to get any relief, suppose that's why its called CHRONIC constipation! The pain's easing off now, probably gonna regret saying that lol! Ugh I hate that bloated feeling, it just makes you feel so slow and well, sluggish. I feel really unattractive cos I'm quite petite apart from this big, uncomfortable belly, thank God its winter though! What laxatives have you tried recently, just wondering if there's any others might help? Its great to have a good moan, my friends and family are probably bored of hearing me complaining and I don't like burdening them with it. I actually had a period where chocolate was about the only thing settled my stomach, especially dark chocolate, which is weird cos I'm not really a chocolatey person.Hopefully you'll get some relief, have you been back to your GP? They might have some more options for you? With regards to eating I just try and have things which settle my stomach and what I can tolerate, sick of worrying about fibre - usually feel worse with it, especially wholegrain bread - would be quite happy not to have another piece of toast again for a LONG time!Hope something works out for you, its awful when you're in a bad patch!


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## Lauzy (Feb 7, 2010)

See I go through stages where it is awful, like now, and feel like it will never go away but it normally does for a while. I worry one day (like now) that it will never stop tho.I know how you feel on the unattractive front!!!I'm only 26 and feel v rubbish! I'm 5'6 and when this all started I was nearly 10 stone. I'm 8 stone now, so when I'm bloated I look huge-pregnant I guess cuz it just all on the belly and Im small everywhere else now. I hide under tunic type tops-which I think look like maternity wear but yes it so much harder when it is the summer. I hope I'll be feeling better this summer.I have tried every laxative going!!!! I fond senekot works eventually but i have to take a lot of it for a few days. At the mo I'm taking 2 dulcolax a day and that does work a bit but it sort of has the opposite effect and never really clears me out fully. Fybogel drinks I found useless and all things like benefibre make me bloated and rumbly. Anyway, I'm sticking with dulcolax for a while but have ordered movicol so will try that next wk too, thanks for your reply. Some people seem to rave about it, others say it does nothing!!!! Not finding much relief with vit c and mag even tho Ive really upped my dosage. How about you? Any other good ones??My doc is rubbish! Actually,all 3 ive tried are rubbish!!! I suppose its not their fault-there is not much out there but it is so frustrating. Antispasmodics do nothing. Prescribed colpermin-useless. These anti depressant things for muscle relaxing-also a waste of time. Gastroenterologist just told me to try stress relieving activities. All laxatives they prescribe are ones that you can get over the counter anyway!!!Colonics are short term relief for me-like a day or 2. When I was going thru a painful episode, I found intestaid helped that a lot but does nothing when I'm having a constipated episode-see my IBS has always varied between painful aches/cramps and bad constipation-always with bloating, rumbling, wind.Anyway, sorry to ramble on. Don't know if all this is of any interest to you. Sometimes it nice to feel you not the only one tho! x


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## em_t (Jun 8, 2010)

God, having an even worse day today. My GP told me I needed something to bulk up stools and suggested Movicol but I told her I couldn't take it because it makes me feel even worse, really weak and ill so she prescribed me "Regulan". Little did I know it was Fybogel, which I know makes me worse, but decided to take it on her advice. Have just been up all night in pain, literally didn't sleep a wink and still haven't had a bowel movement despite taking the sodium picosulphate with it as well. I'm just so exhausted, all I can do is cry because I'm in so much pain. I just feel worn down at this stage, I'm just so tired. My family think I'm having a mental breakdown because all I can do is cry but haven't left the house in weeks because of the pain and just exhausted at waking up everyday to being in this much pain and discomfort. Anytime I go to my GP like this they just say I'm depressed which is why I'm not sleeping and prescribe me another antidepressant but I'm not sleeping because I'm in PAIN and its starting to wear me down. I just never seem to get a break at the moment. I know feeling sorry for myself probably doesn't help, but I'm just so sick of this. I just want some relief! I keep getting sick all the time as well, I've had numerous colds over the past week and terrible migraines and just feel really weak.Sorry I know I'm being really whingy, but just having a really hard time of it!


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## raym0nd (Nov 28, 2010)

em_t said:


> Hi everyone,This message is probably a bit self indulgent but I've no-one else I can talk to. Have been pretty ill for the past 2 weeks, almost constant pain from the moment I get up till I go to bed, nausea every single day, pain when I eat and pain from taking laxatives. My stomach was really upset on Friday and I had some plain crackers and oatcakes to settle it and now I haven't been to the toilet since then. I've been taking my regular laxatives, but starting to feel really ill, went through a bad phase yesterday of not being able to pee again and almost blacking out anytime I got up - I just don't know what to do anymore. I thought I was about to go to the bathroom this morning when a huge wave of nausea hit me, but nothing. Just feel really ill and getting really upset, my family don't know what to do, can't cope with the constant nausea!I know my doctors will be of no use to me and tell me to take Movicol, which I can't do - it makes me feel worse. I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. Getting up everyday seems like such a struggle, I'm not depressed, just wish life was a bit easier at the minute.Thanks for listening, its good to know I have someone to talk toEm


Avoid starving yourself too much. Here is a light meal that may be useful for you :http://www.ibsgroup.org/forums/index.php?/topic/135952-light-easy-meal-to-ease-your-tummy-khichdi/take care.


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## em_t (Jun 8, 2010)

Cheers for the recipe, but think its a blockage due to the Fybogel so the worst thing I can do is eat at the moment. I've got some meal replacement drinks that I'm trying to sip but in pain even trying to drink them. Never taking my doctor's stupid advice again, better to trust my own instincts.


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## Lauzy (Feb 7, 2010)

Em, that is terrible that you are constipated but can't take laxatives. I take laxatives daily yet they normally take a good few days to work. I get a bit of aching here and there but not too bad. I never have a solid BM tho, just a bit of something here and there. I just wish I could be regular like everyone else it seems.Have upped my Vit C to 3000mg a day and 700mg of mag, 3 dulcolax a day and exercise too but still not much happening!!!!I know how you feel with friends and family, i feel embarrassed saying it now. My boyfriend who i live with is great but i worry he will get bored of it all too!!! plus I think that a lot of people think it in my head. Have given up on doctors completely. I find i wake feeling ok but feel rubbish and bloated in afternoon, which, as a primary teacher, is not useful.Cannot believe all the pin you have and how you live with it. It must feel too much some days. I know ive had days when i feel like i can't cope and just cry. Im not depressed, ive just had enough!!!!!Can't believe you just sipping those drinks, must be so hard. mind you im living on chocolate!!! Not good. Anything fibre makes me rough tho. If I eat a meal I get painfully full, I guess cuz there is so much rubbish in me and it feels hideous.I really hope you are feeling a bit better. Know there is nothing i can say that will help you but if you wanna chat it out am always happy to do that x


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## annie7 (Aug 16, 2002)

Em--so sorry you're having an even worse day today---i really feel for you--it's so discouraging when the bad days just go on and on...you asked yesterday about laxatives...you're taking sodium picosulfate? i'd like to try that--i hear it's good and have read that it's safe and effective but it's not available in the usa. on the advice of a great gastro who unfortunately for me is now retired i take milk of magnesia (or one could take miralax--that didn't work for me) along with a stimulant laxative--i rotate the stimulants between senna, ducolax(bisacodyl) and cascara sagrada--i rotate the stimulants so i don't get too used to any particular one and have it stop working on me. my gastro doc said that some people find that combining an osmotic lax--like milk of mag or miralax--with a stimulant makes the stimulant work better. of course, you have to play around with dosages to see what works for you. he said he recommended this regimen only to those people who weren't getting success from stimulants alone. i know it's a lot of stuff to take but this regimen has really helped me--when nothing else did. i still have bad days when not much seems to move out but so far--knock wood--with this regimen--i am fortunate to have more good days than bad--which i am extremely thankful for. i've read that mayo clinic docs have recommended the same thing..it's kind of a last resort when nothing else is working.and hopefully when you get past this bad spell and get a bit cleaned out and feel better, you can give resolor a try. it just might work for you. i plan to try it if it ever gets approved in the states. right now i take tegibs (generic zelnorm) a couple times a week to give myself a break from the stimulants. hang in there and please take good care of yourself.. try to get the nutri drinks down so you don't get too weak. hope you have a better day tomorrow.


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## debbie38london (Oct 1, 2010)

hiya em sorry your are like this , i know what your going through its hell, have your tried peppermint tea or ginger tea or fennel tea, im living on boiled eggs and toast and porridge, i hate aking laxotives as they hurt so much, my doctor is #### aswell, im ere if you wanna chat debs x


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## em_t (Jun 8, 2010)

Thanks everyone for your support, I've just had enough today, being sleep deprived and in pain isn't a good combination lol! I can actually take laxatives though, Lauzy, I've been told to take the Fybogel on top of the sodium picosulphate, my GP thought it would be a good idea to bulk things up a bit and although it cleans you out better in the long term. Movicol just doesn't work for me, it leaves me in pain but doesn't clean me out completely, I'm always still left with some stuck inside me just to get constipated in another few days







I'm a teacher as well, a secondary school teacher but with my symptoms as bad as they are I just couldn't do it anymore. Was going in exhausted and wasn't as chipper as I usually was and lacking in energy - just need to get it sorted so I can get on with life again. The fibre leaves me worse too and my appetite is rubbish but I've gotta persevere. Would love a bit of chocolate now, a bit of Dairy Milk or even Galaxy or a bowl of pasta but gotta try healthy stuff. Maybe when I'm a bit better I'll be able to have a square every now and again!


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