# Feeling Paniced and horrible



## 22501 (Mar 3, 2007)

Hey guys, I'm new here. I found this site tonight in my desperate internetting..I guess I just don't know what to do. I'm 21 years old, female, and a college student. This past July IBS hit me out of nowhere, and it's been here to stay since. I've been able to manage it decently, but have pretty vicious falls into it off and on. My doctor was apathetic and gave me fiber and lax. I felt awful. I saw someone else and I was on glucolax for a while, but got off it when I felt like I could handle it a bit better, I got scared to take it for too long. Upon another visit my doctor recommended activia yogurt, but I'm pretty sure it just acted as a placebo for a while that made me think I was doing alright.I'm so depressed and panicy. I feel like I have become a different person. I was notoriously calm and the slowest to anger, whereas now I am always irritated and easy to frustrate.I.. don't know if this sounds superficial, but I think the hardest part for me is the horrible bloating. I've always had super awful body image, and had finally.. FINALLY gotten to a place where I began to love and accept my body when IBS hit. Now I weight less than I did then, but my tummy looks larger. I hate the fact that I don't think I'll ever look the same. I hate my body so much now. It's been especially bad lately. I feel sorry for my amazingly supportive boyfriend, as my sex drive has been squashed completely. My abdomen is gassy, bloated, and painful all of the time. Even when I'm feeling good and on a very good day, it still never looks like it used to. I feel like I never pass enough bm. I get sickening images of all this back up sitting inside me.I'm scared, and very sad. I just want to feel good and normal again. Reading this board for the past few hours only made me more afraid. I hope I don't sound maudlin here.. I just have no one who understands. My family thinks I'm making it all up. This is terrible.Words of hope is what I crave. I need to find some solace. I've been having terrible sleep for a week now because of the constipation discomfort.I'm sorry.


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## Cartoon Creature (Jul 12, 2002)

Hey girltasticI know how u feel. I hate the bloated feeling in my tummy that makes me look pregnant and bigger than i really am. It is especially hard for women with the whole bdy image thing.I have something that may help your constipation. Bio Magnesium tablets and slow realease vitamin c will help!!I wish I had some words of wisdom for you but I am going through hell myself with severl other conditions on top of my IBS, and I to like you am young (25) and feel that my boyfriend will only take so much beofre running away from me.Your welcome to emial me anytime if u like, maybe talking to someone of similar age might help us.All the bestPoo Pea


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## 18738 (Mar 3, 2007)

Hi Girltastic,I know exactly how you feel. I am also a 21 female living with IBS-D, and feel that it has completely taken over my life. I have noticed ever since my IBS started that I have become a very irritable and angry person .. even the tiniest thing can make me irritated and I hate the person I've become because I have changed so much that, I don't even know who I am anymore.I also felt very alone because like you, my family and boyfriend didn't think it was a real condition, and thought it was all in my head and was probably caused by me thinking about my stomach so much. I used to wish that they could experience what I go through for ONE day so they could understand what I have to go through every day. Maybe you can try talking to your family. I know my family wasn't very understanding because they didn't know what IBS was, and telling them my symptoms and how I felt helped them become more understanding. Just remember, you are not alone.


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## 14480 (Sep 3, 2006)

Glad you found this board, although, I'm sorry to hear that it has made you feel more anxious. If this is still the case then maybe it isn't a good idea for you to be here. But, I just wanted to say that we all know how this feels. IBS can really take over our lives sometimes. And when we have other stresses to deal with it seems like they just feed off of one another...But I want to let you know that it doesn't have to always be this way. I can tell you are really struggling, and maybe it would be helpful for you to find a caring and supportive counselor to talk to about your feelings. Or maybe a psychiatrist. I wish you luck.


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## Guest (Apr 12, 2007)

Bless you but believe me in this day and age - you really don't need to feel like this. I can appreciate that some of the postings sound abit grim but we are a pretty supportive community here - and there are lots of threads with alternative coping strategies and alternative types of medicines that may help you feel alot better.I think Laura is right - maybe is the time to try and seek psychiatric help - there's no stigma in admitting this anymore - leastways - I haven't found that to be the case - I've been exactly where you are now - and lower but today - I can honestly say, I've never been happier - you really don't need to feel this down but do, do, do go and seek some help - theres plenty out there.Sue


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## 14529 (Feb 1, 2007)

GrlTastic,I feel exactly the same way. Only difference is that I'm afraid of getting into any relationship, or actually I am too tired to get into one. I'm 20, and have been dealing with IBS-C for over 4 years. I've lost weight, but my tummy looks horrible from not being able to go properly, the gas, and the bloating. When I turned 16, I finally got to a place (body wise) where I was feeling comfortable and happy. But then all of a sudden IBS hit, and nothing has been the same. My stomach changed. It also led me to taking too many laxatives. So many psychological changes were starting. I became anorexic, bulimic, which I stopped after six months. I gained soo much eight after that, but then became an exercise bulimic. Although I've stopped all this, I hate how my weight is no longer under my control. Regardless of diet and exercise, my weight is solely dependent on how bad my C is. I'm sooooo uncomfortable everyday. Sitting through class is so difficult. I spend most of day in the bathroom due to the constant urgency feeling. I cry all the time. I feel full at times after eating very little. Somtimes I'm terribly hungry all day. I can't sleep, and I'm just so exhausted - emotionally, mentally, and physically. No one understands. My mom is a sweetheart, and she does all she can. But I'm so tired of this. I feel stuck - literally and figuratively. I don't know what to do, and nothing seems to help. Waking up in the morning to go through my routine is getting to be a challenge these days. Ahhhhh.


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