# getting worse



## britchick (Oct 2, 2003)

How to you folks manage to keep your spirits up when you can see yourself getting worse every week?I just feel hopeless. Each week I do less of everything. I was hoping to start a PhD this year but there is no way i can manage to do it alongside the language improvements I need, so I'm going to take another year to get Latin, Ancient greek and a modern language under my belt.It is so frustrating. I dont know if I'll be able to manage the language improvement in one year, it might take two. It feels to me that there is so much I want to achieve but I'm never going to get there.My partner is so good. I dont need to work to help financially, but even so I feel guilty for not helping with the mortgage and bills.Ah well...it doesnt do any good to moan does it? I've got a Dr appointment this week to look at my newest blood test results and after that the immunologist may discover something so I have stuff to keep my hopes up. It's just depressing to be so held back by something that there isnt even a test to prove you have. I'm sure you all feel the same. Anyone got a energy-conserving hobby that takes their mind off being ill?


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## M&M (Jan 20, 2002)

BritChick,Oh how I hate it when you start to get progressively worse. It is very depressing. I mean, we're already VERY limited on what we can do...Then to see those limitations grow and grow...Gah! I am so glad your partner is supportive. And I know exactly what you mean when you said: I dont need to work to help financially, but even so I feel guilty for not helping with the mortgage and bills.Oh yes, it's like you are reading my mind! It's so frustrating to be disabled.A few low energy hobbies I've taken up are watching movies, and playing RollerCoaster Tycoon (LOL). I am a HUGE Robert De Niro fan, so I'm working on seeing all of the movies he's ever made. It's really fun for me, and watching them is a nice diversion at times. I've found several of his old, hard to find movies on Ebay and bought them. It's very fun. I guess I can consider myself a collector on De Niro movies. Is there anything you would like to collect?Then with RollerCoaster Tycoon, well I love it! lol I have to limit my time on that though, because my back starts to hurt, and it bothers my eyes if I do it too long.Do you have any pets? They are also WONDERFUL to have around, but they require a bit more energy than movies and games. Even a small pet, like a hamster or gerbil is lovely to have around. I get so much joy out of just watching them, and seeing the joy they experience on a daily basis.I'm sorry you're feeling that hopeless feeling. I go through many spells myself where I feel that way. We're young, and we're supposed to be living life and loving it. Don't feel bad about moaning though, we all need to do it sometimes. At least here, you can moan to people who actually understand what you're talking about!!!I wish I could be more helpful, but at least you know you're not all by your lonesome!







(((((hugs)))))


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## britchick (Oct 2, 2003)

Hi there MrsM.Pets..Oh yes! My two cats Morris and Hector, spoiled to death but really good company especially when I cant wash my hair or have the energy to get dressed! And then there are Toby and Shelley the tortoises who will be waking up soon.I dont think I am looking for a hobby really as I dont have the time alongside my study, I think Im bored....I want to do something interesting and get out of this feeling awful routine! I'm only 25 and feel like I'm 105!! LOL sometimes I look it as well!I did get some odd blood test results yesterday. I might have Lupus and need to see a specialist. he is covered, luckily, on my private health insurance so I wont have to wait too long...The website you posted; butyoudontlooksick.com is very useful. Sometimes I think I might find the answer to life on this site!


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## Clair (Sep 16, 2000)

britchick keeping my fingers crossed for your results!







i think they key is to just live one day at a time, at end of reflect on what you have achieved even if its just washed hair or stroked the cat.mental effort such as studying can be very demanding so dont push yourself do a little at a time.what about taking up something like cross stitch or embroidery? you can do a little at a time, put down when your tired and do again when u feel better...and at end of it you have something to look at and youve achieved that. can set abut making some decorations for your house or something







i totally emphathise with the feeling 105 bit - i have had ME/CFS since 17 on and off and i dont feel like i ever had a youth really.sorry if this is a bit disjointed im tired, just wanted to let you know your not alone {{{hugs}}}


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## M&M (Jan 20, 2002)

Hi Britchick!







Just wanted to check in with you, and see how you're doing these days. Give us un update when you can!


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