# my story



## 2WIN2 (Aug 31, 2013)

when i was a child, i observed such strange behaviours. i dont remember an age when i didnt. i could never finish my dinner because i had to poop and then id return when everyone was done eating and the table was already cleared. only one thing remained and that was my plate with my dinner half-eaten. so every night, i came back feeling better after emptying my bowels to eat the rest. i didnt think it was a problem; it was normal for me and for my family so i never questioned it. the other behaviour i observed was much more embarrassing. it also became normal so i didnt tell my family or friends. it was a huge deal in my head though but i accepted it as part of my bodily functions i couldnt change. i was obviously too embarrassed to talk to anyone about it. my stomach would make gurgling sounds many times during the day and i was constantly embarrassed during silent reading, tests, and any quiet place with other people became a stress in my life. i wasnt hungry and i knew that but i didnt know what was wrong and why i was the only one in any gathering to have this problem. my classmates never said anything to me about about but i know the whole class heard. i look back now and realize that i really did go through a lot of anxiety as a child. i didnt have these problems for the first couple of months of school and got them near the end. as years passed, i noticed the problems starting up earlier in the school year. i thought this was some seasonal thing and it'll observe this on-off pattern for the rest of my life. when my stomach was about to gurgle, i felt it coming and throughout my entire childhood, i tried different ways of stopping the noise before i got embarrassed. i'd hold it in and pray so hard for it to not be loud. sometimes that worked but it made subsequent ones worse - louder, deeper, and longer. i started to become more immune to the embarrassment over time but till this day, my face still burns from embarrassment. i lived this life all throughout elementary school and i shared the embarrassment with my twin sister who had the same gurgling problem.

in high school, it got worse and worse. i experienced stomach noises throughout the school year. i noticed i didnt experience this when i woke up late like on the weekends on during holidays. i thought i had this problem because i was waking up too early but there was nothing i could do about that. i had to go to school in the morning so i felt there was not cure to this. one of the mornings in grade 12, i had the urge to poop as soon as i woke up. the whole day i didnt experience this stomach noise and i was so happy to have found the cure. this would mean i had to wake up even earlier and getting to school on time was already hard for me. some days i didnt have time for the washroom so i planned on getting embarrased and i did. on top of that, my performance at school decreased and as my stomach problems got worse too. i was falling and i knew it. i watched myself spiral down a trail of sadness and at great speed in my last year. i got my first migraines in grade 11 during the first week of my advanced placement math class. since i got it everyday in the same class, i thought this was a way for my body to tell me that im not good enough for this class. it was hard to accept that so i thought it might be that my eyeglass prescription needed to be changed. i went to the optometrist and my prescription hadn't changed. i switched out of that class to go to the normal math and never felt smart again. i didn't experience migraines again until grade 12, when i got them everyday during the last months of school (when my marks counted the most). one thing i didnt see from childhood was the increase in stress every year from social anxiety, school marks dropping, migraines getting more common, etc. i didnt see that an increase in stress = increase in bowel problems. i was crushed by the end of high school; i even lost my scholarship since my marks plummeted. during summer break, my stomach problems would vanish but at this point, it was affecting me everyday. going to the washroom every morning became part of my morning routine and the time spent in there would increase as my farts got louder and increased. i didnt get any hard stool - just passing gas.

i told the dr. i was always feeling gassy and she just laughed a little and thought i was embarrassed to tell her. i wasnt shy of saying it; she was my dr. but she wouldnt ever listen and said it was normal blah blah. she told me to stop eating gassy foods and she knew i was an avid exerciser. she made me think it was all in my head even when i knew it was much more serious that that. i used to feel much better after emptying but i was starting to feel like i wasnt done emptying my bowels when there wasn't even any stool - just gas. i then discovered during my first year in uni that my stomach gurgling noises were due to gas. this whole time it had been gas. i tried to find out what i needed to control my gas and tried eliminating some foods but it didn't work. my parents started to become a little more supportive and offered advice on controlling gas. i was too stressed out about my low marks to realize that i was always constipated or i had diarrhea. in the morning, i just wanted to fart it all out which used to work but started to not work. i tried beano and simethicone and i tried relaxing and self-talking when i felt the noises coming. this is when i started to feel gas pains and i started getting bowel attacks while in school. at this point, i was still searching for answers and i looks at IBS and said, "no way! i dont have a syndrome" and i ruled it out without further research. i thought i was lactose-intolerant and i tried eliminating things with lactose and it didn't work. so i told the dr. my gas problems still existed and i told her i thought i was lactose-intolerant but it wasnt working and i wanted a test done. she just shrugged it off once again and told me to try eliminating things with lactose. i already did that and it didnt work! she frustrated me so much; she was a horrible dr, always rushing to finish the appointment. i started pooping at school even when i went at home before leaving. after realizing this was all gas, i started farting in placed other than the washroom. this in the past was unthinkable and dirty to me but it gave me a little relief at the beginning so i did fart quietly. i realized i had had diarrhea for 3 months and i noticed this because my poo had been smelling so foul for a long time and i never felt like i completely emptied my bowels. so i went to the dr. to tell her i had had diarrhea for a long time. of course, she didnt help one bit. during my second math test, my stomach was hurting so much and i felt like it was going to make a very loud noise so i left. i had never left a test before and there were no retests. my mark in that class was close to failing too. i started taking imodium and it worked with diarrhea, gas pains, and gas. i was so happy to have found the cure. during tests, i didnt feel a single gas pain or ever felt my stomach was going to gurgle. i was confident and comfortable during lectures and tests and i performed better. i didnt want it to be a long-term as it was expensive and was bad for your health. so tried to not take so many. the days when i didnt take it, i was fine and then it started up a little more again until i realized i did need to take it again. so i took one instead of two and it worked a bit until that started failing too. id take one or two right before my tests again but during my last math test, the loudest, deepest, most horrible sound came out... three times. i was soooo embarrassed but i didnt want it to affect my test. i couldnt take it; i finished the test, didnt check twice and ran out of there with my face burning. i got a 50% on that test like with all my other tests so far.

i then went to the dr. again and told her i wasnt getting any poop - just gas. she immediately said IBS. i was constipated and had been for a while without realizing and taking imodium was very bad so i had to stop. i went home and researched IBS and lo and behold, every single symptom i had experienced since childhood made sense. EVERYTHING. i realized i had felt so lonely my whole life until i read people's posts; i wasnt alone!! people like me exist. i was a bit relieved; i thought i could finally find some solutions.

i was in summer school and i was constipated so i couldnt buy imodium so i tried simethicone. it wasnt very helpful and during the final exam - my last chance to bring my first year marks up - i had gas problems. i tried farting quietly in that corner and it smelled horrid but i couldnt find it in me to do more; i was afraid they would be loud and everyone would hear me fart and smell it. i wrote the exam as fast as i could and ran out of there. obviously, i did poorly on that exam as with all my exams in the past because i ran out and didn't check my answers. my marks were so low because i made such silly mistakes i could have easily corrected if i wasnt so socially anxious.

ive always been struggling with losing weight and now i know that my stomach never got smaller because i was always bloated.

now where to go from here? at this point, im already exercising, probiotics in yogourt might be helpful, i dont eat a lot of junk food and definately stay away from sugar since i get immediate stomach aches and gas, and gas pills sometimes work. my parents have become a little more supportive but i still need to work on them since i think they think im making it all up. they dont understand because i never told anyone for 18 years. i still feel alone in this battle but i feel confident this forum will help me in many ways. i know it's all because of stress and the IBS makes me more stressed so i want to see if i can use relaxation techniques. my parents are against therapy so you can see why they still arent very supportive which makes me feel even more stressed. i want to try stress-relieving medications but my parents don't want me to take those. i dont know what to do; school is starting in a week and i can't do this again.

thank you for reading this, i think this forum will become my new home


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## Perk (Apr 13, 2013)

Check out the website Help for IBS.com. Heather's book Eating for IBS was very helpful to me and some of her products and other books may help you. Also drinking peppermint tea may help you. It was in college that I learned that by having a bowel movement 1st thing in the morning helped me to get through the day. I know this may be hard but you really need to go to student services and work with them so you can be excused if needed. This is a medical condition and school must now accommodate you even at the college level.


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## Perk (Apr 13, 2013)

The other thing is if i'm having a D flair the only meds I can take is Pepto, any thing else will give me c and a lot of gas. Also try the BRAT diet during a flair. Banana, Rice, Applesauce and Toast. You can learn to control ISB and get through school!


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## PYT (Jul 3, 2015)

I know that everyone is different and what works for me may or may not work for you. But it's worth a try okay, what do you have to lose. I suffer from uncontrollable gas that leaks out my body without me knowing, constipation, and stomach pain for years. I smelled like fecal matter but I couldn't smell it but everyone around me did. I found the permanent cure by accident, my daughter wouldn't eat her snack raisins so I didn't want them to go to waste so I ate them instead and been eating every since. I know that it may sound crazy but it works very well with no side effects or symptoms. I eat raisins regularly and now I'm able to get my life back with confidence. Try it and let me know if it works for you to, good luck!


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