# Bought My First...



## BQ (May 22, 2000)

grave cover today. This just hurts to the quick sometimes.Hope I can hold it together for Mom when we go to the cemetary together to place it on Tuesday. Been losing left & right last couple days. I know it will pass, but geez louieeeeeeeze, OW!  BQ


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## nmwinter (May 31, 2001)

(((BQ))) This is a tough time of the year after losing someone close. I remember the first Thanksgiving after my dad died - it was strange and sad, him not being there. If possible for you to do, you might want to share loving a funny stories about him. It brings him to the family and continues to celebrate his life.take carenancy


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## Guest (Dec 17, 2002)

This is a tough time of year for me too, B.Q.... Something that helps me with this sort of thing is to try to focus on others.... this is not easy to do... especially when we have lost someone we love and who was so close and dear to us. Someone I work with just lost his mother last Friday. In a "therapeutic" attempt to guard his own sanity.... he came to work today and will be there again tomorrow... then on Wednesday and for the rest of the week and through the weekend he will take a brief leave of absence.I wrote him a short, simple poem to lift his spirits and express our sympathy, and I'll "adjust" it here for you:In time of hurtor dark despairKnow that your "IBS family"is alwyas thereWith words of kindnessAnd heartfelt LoveMay Peace embrace youFrom aboveEvie


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## BQ (May 22, 2000)

(((Nance & Evie)))







Thanks.







We do think and talk about him and share some funny stories. Trust me. He was a piece of work, so I doubt we will run out of funny stories. (I bet you guys find that hard to believe huh? .... I guess apples don't fall far...







LOL )It is just hard, but very important, for me to actually feel the grief and not bury it. If I bury it, which is incredibly easy for me to do; I won't heal and go on. So I guess I need to acknowledge that I'm feeling it is all.Today wasn't as bad. I spent most of it thinking about and doing for others and was quite busy. Tomorrow, I'll be thinking about Mom and just being with her in the moment. I wanted to spruce up the grave cover I bought for him. I dunno, it looked chintzy???? So I bought some all weather silk pointsiettas, some white branches and a few nice looking picks and replaced what the nursery had done. LOL But I enjoyed doing it, so I have to get some points for that..







I know it may be a bit rough here & there, but I just hadn't had a few days in a row like that with a decent cry about Dad for awhile. Maybe I was just "due" for those tears, ya know???Thanks for the beautiful poem Evie. I'm betting that co-worker had a good heart-warming when he read them too. Both of you, thanks for just being there for me and letting me be me.







 BQ


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## John (Aug 6, 1999)

*((((HUGS!!!))))*


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## BQ (May 22, 2000)

Thanks







((((John))))







Backatcha  BQ


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## Guest (Dec 18, 2002)

You're welcome, B.Q., I sense the tenderness of your heart... as well as that "die-hard" sense of humor that keeps us all goin'.







 Evie


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## nmwinter (May 31, 2001)

keeping busy may be good - I guess that's personal. I know it helps me. Focusing on your mom will also help though I thin. It's a shared grief.I like the idea of fixing up the cover! I wonder if my mom and I will go the cemetary where my dad and grandparents are all buried. One year after we cleaned off their graves, we then cleaned a bunch near my grandparents since mom had grown up with all of them but few still ahd fmaily around. I jokingly groused that we were tending the graves of dead Scots in Stamford!And I just bet he was a piece of work! that expression always makes me think of my mom - my niece learned that expression at the age of 2 since my mom called her that all the time!take care. do whatever you need to feel your way through the holidays. whatever you feel is the righ thing to feel - as long as you're honest with yourself, then you'll be OK I think.nancy


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