# Need to rant



## pepperidge (Mar 26, 2013)

I soiled myself again today - 4th time since Feb. Thankfully I was at home so I managed alright, but I live in dread of sudden diarrhoea in a public place, and worse having it in a situation where I am unable to excuse myself.

Usually, I get pain preceding diarrhea and during it. Though the cramps can be excruciating, at least then I get the signal to rush to the privacy of a toilet.

But sometimes, and lately too often, I get sudden diarrhoea that is not preceded by not even the slightest discomfort or foreboding. I literally haven't a clue that I'm about to have it! Like a bolt out of the blue, I know about it only when it's begun and then I can't stop the flow (sorry for being gross) however hard I try to, so that I've usually made a big mess before I get to the toilet.

It's the most distressing thing about IBS for me. I'd gladly have much more bloating/pain than go through the humiliation of soiling myself again. I feel stupid, dirty and generally wretched when I do. In fact it's the main reason I finally decided to join this forum - Just three weeks ago, my worst nightmare came true when I soiled myself in public for the first time: I was in the middle of a quarterfinal round, in a chess competition when - again without pain or any discomfort whatsoever - I just suddenly had diarrhoea, and a lot of it. Despite the smell and some stares, I really wanted to/had to finish the game because I was in a team representing my university and we had a real chance of winning it. I lost the round in the end, partly because I was too distracted thinking "Why?! Why now? Why me?!" I felt betrayed by my own gut. Because I didn't even make it to the semi-finals, my team lost out to Imperial eventually and placed second in the competition. I had to explain that it was because of IBS, which I had till then kept secret. They were nice about it, but I could tell they were sorely disappointed. I'm usually a tough guy and haven't cried since my granddad's funeral years ago, but that day I just broke down in the toilet while cleaning up. That's when I decided to join this forum to rant/get help.

It's especially unnerving because it happens for no apparent reason, so I don't know when it will next happen or how I can prevent it. Was it nerves? I doubt it. I was quite relaxed today when it happened and not particularly nervous during the chess competition. Yes, I was keen to do well because it was a competition but I find playing chess calming. In fact I usually play chess online to settle my stomach when cramps get so bad I can't do work. Chess helps to take my mind off symptoms. Playing a good game makes me happy and proud and for those few moments, I lose a bit of the sense of helplessness from IBS. Also, anxiety-triggered episodes usually begin with cramps. Was it trigger foods or just the act of eating/drinking? I doubt it's this either. I've kept to a FODMAP diet for nearly half a year now. And though eating/drinking itself can sometimes give me diarrhoea, that sort of diarrhoea is always accompanied by cramping. Also, I wasn't eating/drinking during/immediately before the chess game.

How are those "attacks" physiologically possible in the first place? It's always entirely liquid so why has it, on several occasions, happened shortly after I've been to the toilet? Surely it would have exited then? Also, if there were no cramps, why were they moving?

This has happened even after preemptively taking 2 immodium tablets.

I don't go out much as it is and since the public incident, am gripped by fear when I do. I feel like I absolutely HAVE to sit on the toilet, and strain and wait for a bit before I leave the house, just in case; and I've been so anxious shortly after stepping out of the house that I get cramps and need the toilet immediately. Does anyone have the same issue and know how to deal with it and/or know what's causing the painless diarrhea attacks?


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## ThreeYearsAndCounting (Dec 14, 2010)

pepperidge said:


> I soiled myself again today - 4th time since Feb. Thankfully I was at home so I managed alright, but I live in dread of sudden diarrhoea in a public place, and worse having it in a situation where I am unable to excuse myself.
> 
> Usually, I get pain preceding diarrhea and during it. Though the cramps can be excruciating, at least then I get the signal to rush to the privacy of a toilet.
> 
> ...


Used to happen to me where it hit me and I absolutely had to go within at maximum a minute. I remember running a round of Florastor (this was late 2010 I think) and since then I haven't had those problems.

I'd also cut out all gluten/dairy and see if that helps. Lastly, supplementation with vitamins (B for metabolic/digestive, C for energy, Zinc for testosterone, etc).

Just curious, are you overweight?


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## pepperidge (Mar 26, 2013)

Thanks for the advice! I have been on a strict FODMAP diet but haven't heard of having Florastor nor vitamin supplements! I've tried homemade Sauerkraut for probiotics (it came highly recommended and is supposed to be the best probiotics out there) but gave me a nasty flare. So I'm making a new batch of Sauerkraut and fermenting it for much longer to see if I can tolerate that better. I'll try out Florastor if Sauerkraut doesn't work out.

Yes, I have read about comorbidity between being overweight and incontinence but nope, I'm about 5 ft 10 in and 128 pounds so more on the lanky side. I've never been overweight either - was a picky eater as a child and frequently had stomachaches for no apparent reason, even before IBS. In fact, one of my earliest childhood memories, from about age 5, was being wrapped up in a towel and sitting on my mum's lap by the beach with a bad "tummy ache," feeling too ill to join my siblings and cousins build sandcastles. At some point, I drew the connection between having food and tummy aches and lost what little appetite I had. I still hate eating and eat only to survive. It doesn't help that my diet is very restricted - I eat the same bland, healthy things every day so that the gas/pain/diarrhoea or constipation (I get both) is bearable most of the time.

I confess I don't exercise. I'm bad at most sports and interested in none. I spend almost all my free time staring at screens/sitting down - gaming or playing chess. I tried to pick up weekly jogging 2 years ago at the invitation of a friend but (surprise surprise) on one occasion had the runs midway and found myself squatting behind a nearby bush, emptying my bowels painfully, making a big mess while my friend stood waiting awkwardly some way off despite my insisting that he go off first without me. He ended up waiting for nearly an hour because every time I tried to leave I'd get another wave of pain and the urge to go and I knew I wouldn't make the half mile home. It was such a traumatic experience, I've never tried exercising since. Even so, I'm sometimes told I could do with putting on some weight. I suppose food tends to travel through me so quickly there isn't much time for nutrients to be properly absorbed.


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## MaximilianKohler (Apr 15, 2013)

There are lots of things for incontinence. It's something that is pretty common for the elderly so they have plenty of products for it. I'm not sure what all is available exactly but I do know they have adult diapers you can wear.

Just look up incontinence products.

Oh, also everyone should be aware that our sitting to poop behavior stresses the muscle that keeps your rectum closed and can lead to many problems down the road such as incontinence, colon cancer, and others.

Everyone should squat to poop. It's the natural position our bodies have developed in to poop.

Resources: [1]http://www.naturesplatform.com/health_benefits.html

[2]https://www.google.com/search?source=ig&rlz=&q=squatting+while+defecating


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## ThreeYearsAndCounting (Dec 14, 2010)

Squat to poop: Yes. I posted a thread on this board a couple months ago talking about exactly that. Put a bucket underneath your feet and have your feet rest on it. Makes it MUCH easier to go.

I used to suffer from constipation (big-time, like 3-5x a day I felt I had to go but squeezed out one pea-sized droplet....eww!) but since then I've cut out gluten, dairy, take daily vitamin supplementation (take Zinc to maximize the testosterone your body produces - makes a HUGE difference), and workout 5x a week at the minimum (closer to 6 most week, 7 some). Working out allows for more bowel movements, improves mood (have like 5% the anger outbursts I use to have, although that may be because I quit lifting weights and only run, play tennis, and play basketball), improves confidence (Testosterone boost), and removes mental clarity issues (I used to not be able to focus on the blackboard in class).

All these things make a HUGE difference. When I sat around at home, angry at the world and feeling pity for myself, I suffered from constipation and became overweight, lost any motivation and confidence I had, and felt very suicidal. Since then, my world has improved 100% and I actually have motivation, confidence, and mental clarity.

I sat for my Accounting test yesterday and had zero trouble focusing. 8 months ago? I would have spent all my time trying to listen to any sniffing that may occur, sit there looking at my paper unable to remember what I'd learned, and come out with a D or C on my exam. I'm 90% certain I'm getting a B or better from this test.

Just work on improving yourself; you will never be perfect for everyone. You need 1) your family 2) a close group of friends and 3) one soul mate. That's it! You're telling me your parents don't love you? Of course they do. You don't have any friends? Of course you do. The dude sat there waiting an hour for you to finish, lmfao, rather than leaving you. That's called a BEST FRIEND. You have one more to go!









EDIT

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For motivation, go listen to Alan Watts, read William Atkinson (The Magic of Brain Power), Tim Ferriss (completely rid yourself of stress at your job), Joe Rogan (ah-mazing), Gregg Plitt (for fitness - I don't think he juices, but he sure as hell abuses diuretics lol), and pick up a relaxing sport like Tennis that you can consistently go out and play throughout the summer. It's amazing how quickly you develop amazing reflexes playing it.


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## pepperidge (Mar 26, 2013)

Thanks for the advice MaximilianKohler and ThreeYearsAndCounting! Both of you recommended squatting, I wish I knew about this much earlier. I've spent years in the sitting position and will squat from now on. Do I only need to squat with C or even for D as well? I imagine squatting is more tiring especially as I spend so much time on the toilet.

@MaximilianKohler: I've had it again yesterday. Thankfully was at home. I've searched for products on the internet and will most probably buy some diapers since I get these sorts of attack so often now I might as well invest in some diapers. Less embarrassing than making a mess. You're quite right, there are many products and I found it reassuring to read the reviews on them to find that most people share my initial aversion towards wearing them but found it very helpful and discreet. I'll definitely wear them for my exams and whenever I can't afford an accident.

@ThreeYearsAndCounting: I've been through the same pea-sized droplet thing! Trouble concentrating and fits of lashing out in anger sounds exactly like me too. Best thing about this forum is reading about other people having the same thing and describing it in exactly the same way haha.

I too have cut out all the offending foods, but my symptoms never go away they just become more bearable. To sidetrack a little, have you been able to "reintroduce" some of those foods back after some time as some claim we should be able to? I posed this question on another thread some time ago because I found that if I dare so much as deviate even a little by having the tiniest bit of the foods I miss, I get "punished" for it with symptoms being worse (didn't think they could be) than usual and I'd say worse than before I started the diet.

Can't wait to try out Zinc for testosterones. I didn't know there was a link between testosterone levels and IBS. Maybe that's why mostly women are affected?

I'm sold on working out idea too. Can't hurt to try again I suppose. But I've found that extreme temperatures can trigger cramps and D. So tennis + summer = D probably. I'll start off with gym under air conditioning and update you on how I do!

1) Family 2) close group of friends 3) soul mate indeed - wisest thing I've heard in awhile!

Well, I think my family have gotten more understanding over the years. My 2 siblings are always fit as a fiddle so I am somewhat of a runt of the litter. They used to think I was being the classic middle child, faking it to get sympathy. My mum has gotten fed up at times and fair dos as I do feel guilty for giving her so much trouble. Though I quite resent my parents being embarrassed about my problems in front of relatives/family friends, you could even say ashamed, they're the ones who help me through my worst days.

Yeah, I was quite awkward with that friend of mine for some time afterwards, lol, as you can imagine he was alarmed and grossed out, that's how he came to know about my IBS. But he's cool about it and we're even better friends now. Life's definitely better with some friends who know my issues. I'd never voluntarily shared about my IBS but those who hang out with me long enough eventually find out because my gut can't keep a secret.







The jogging one is one of many embarrassing/hilarious stories. I do get a lot of banter about it lol they call me the fart monster amongst other things.

Challenge no.3 aka soul mate is going to be difficult. I can't imagine any girl would tolerate my problems. Probably gross her out. And I certainly won't be able to get intimate without my gut wanting to join in.


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## MaximilianKohler (Apr 15, 2013)

Squat for all bowel movements period. Whether you're constipated or have diarrhea or have normal bowel movements. There will be less straining, BMs will come out quicker and easier.

Maybe if you are overweight you might struggle with the squatting position, if that's the case you could buy a metal support bar and screw it into the wall(perhaps above the back of the toilet that you'd be facing) to hold onto for support.

Also, it's important to note that the common sitting toilet is not built to support a heavy person's full weight in the squatting position. I'm not sure what the maximum safe weight would be for squatting on top of a sitting toilet. It's probably a good idea to go with something like this or this. Though that 2nd one doesn't look like it's high enough to put the lady into proper squatting position.


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## pepperidge (Mar 26, 2013)

Thanks for the advice! Nope, I'm not overweight at all, in fact slightly underweight because of my height. I was worried about squatting because I usually spend a lot of time on the toilet and, especially for bad flares, often experience cold sweats, lightheadedness etc.

I've tried squatting over the past 2 days and it's worked well! I did feel uneasy being perched on the toilet at first, and it is difficult to "aim well" (sorry tmi) but I am finding it a little easier to get going and have felt less like I need to go again afterwards. Then again, the past few days have been pretty good symptoms-wise. I think the real test will be when I next flare.


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## MaximilianKohler (Apr 15, 2013)

You could always squat in the bathtub or shower if it got too bad. But yeah, sometimes my feet start to get numb when I squat for too long.


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## pepperidge (Mar 26, 2013)

I've ordered a footstool but I've read that it isn't as effective as actually squatting. I'll try it out anyway. Definitely easier to squat than sit


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## thickthighs1 (Apr 12, 2013)

Pepperidge,
Maybe you should be checked by a dr..sounds like you might have something called c-diff..its a form of diarrhea.
Im also going to try the step stool to rest my feet on to BM


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## embarrassed (Mar 15, 2013)

Wow what a horrible year this has been. I have over $1500 in medical bills to find Nothing wrong with me. 6/15 I had (I think) a gallbladder attack. Pain that did not go away and leaky gas at its worst. The urgent care thought it was gastritis but the nasty stuff I drank only numbed my lips. Pain still there and finally want to the family doc. Took tests and guess what? My pancreas, gallbladder and liver enzymes were "perfect". What the hell!! I really don't know what else to do. I know there is something wrong but all these dang tests come back clean. I'm taking pancratic enzymes and ordered gallbladder ox bile salts. Any feedback, comments and suggestions are more than welcome.


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## MaximilianKohler (Apr 15, 2013)

pengu said:


> sounds like you got an infection mate. Go on antibiotics


Haha. That's really bad advice.

If there was an active infection that could have been treated with antibiotics the doctors would have told her/him so. You never want to take antibiotics unless you absolutely must, as antibiotics kill good and neutral bacteria that help maintain balance in the body and prevent bad bacteria from establishing and populating.

I highly recommend that everyone tries homemade sauerkraut. It eliminates my LG and also all smells from my farts. It's important to make it with salt, as I've tried previously to make it without salt and it had totally different effects since the salt is critical in determining which bacteria are able to populate.


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## MaximilianKohler (Apr 15, 2013)

pengu said:


> Did the doctors recommend that sauerkraut? I think this is the same guy that was talking about garlic enemas a couple months ago and vitamin E enemas before that. Just ###### after ######.


No, that wasn't me who was talking about the garlic enemas. That guy's name is GarlicCure or something. In my experience doctors never recommend anything natural so no, they didn't recommend this to me. When I told my GI doctor about it he just approved of it.


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## Rosie Em (Jul 31, 2013)

Your first post almost described my life to a T, I couldn't stop crying half way through.

A combination of no pain and going in public as well as really bad pain and being able to make it to the bathroom first.... Just.

Loperamide has become my best friend and my worst enemy. I can also vouch for squatting or pulling your knees up at least.


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