# struggling to cope



## cherrypie09 (Jan 20, 2009)

Hi My Ibs-D is not good, its quite severe, I have pain all day every day, I have a collapsed pelvic floor, the small bowel has dropped because of it and the rectal lining is starting to come down, I am awaiting a operation for this. But my Anxiety and Depression has gotten much worse, I dont want to go out, I dont want people to the house, I panic when I have to go out or people call unexpected. I have spoken to my doctor about this and told her I am not coping very well and sometimes wish I were dead, everything is really getting me down, she said that you have had CBT, so use the coping stratedgies, I cant do it, ive tried, Ive used the hypnotherapy cds twice and listen to meditation cds, I am on medication for the anxiety and the depression and have been since 2009. I have asked to be referred back to the pyschiatrict team, and am waiting an appointment. Because of the pelvic floor problems, I am even more worried about having an accident where I cant find a loo in time, if and when I have to go out. This is all ruining my life, I feel so desperate.Any body else going through this and can understand, any advice please.


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## em_t (Jun 8, 2010)

Cherriepie,My heart goes out to you reading this. Its bad enough having to put up with such awful health problems nevermind the stress and anxiety that they bring. Its difficult because depression and anxiety are generally alleviated by seeing friends and family and keeping active - but obviously for you this isn't really an option. I would really urge you not to cut yourself off from friends, you may end up losing them. I know its hard but even if you have 1 or 2 really good friends you could have them round to your house for half and hour for a cup of tea and a natter. If you haven't already been open with them about your IBS, I would explain it to them. You don't need to go into graphic detail but just to let them know that you might need to excuse yourself to go to the loo - people won't really care as much as you think they do. You can tell them as much or as little as you want about your medical problems, sometimes talking about it only brings it worse because you dwell on it. Plus sometimes hearing other people's problems can be therapeutic because you don't dwell on your own problems as much, which can only be a good thing. Once you're feeling a bit more up to it, even going for a ten minute walk around your neighbourhood will help lift your mood. You don't have to venture far, just a stretch of the legs. To reassure yourself you can always buy some of those incontinence pads designed for women with bladder problems just to make yourself feel more secure. In time you might be able to build yourself up to going to the supermarket or shopping centre but take baby steps. I can't count the number of times my mother who has ulcerative colitis has had to abandon her trolley in the supermarket to dash to the loo, but honestly no-one notices, its much more noticeable to you than anyone else. Getting a referral back to the psychiatric team is good but may take some time. If you were able to afford it would you be able to see someone privately? I only say this because with anxiety and depression its often better to see someone sooner rather than later.Even if you're spending all day its important to keep yourself in a routine - get up at the same time, don't sit around in pyjamas all day, at the very least get washed and changed everyday and perhaps do a bit of light housework. I know its hard when you're in pain but you've got to force yourself to do these things, it all helps your outlook on life. Sorry I can't help more. Keep trying with the CBT techniques and hopefully your date with your operation will come through quite quickly!All the bestEm xx


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## samoajoe (Mar 31, 2011)

There are times when the most effective kind of intervention is taking the teen away from their environment and putting them in a safer, controlled environment where they can get intensive therapy without interrupting their studies. In such cases residential therapy for troubled teens can help stabilize them enough before sending them back to their home environment.


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