# The Only Way I Cope is by Starving...



## LKirby (Jul 23, 2013)

I have had IBS for around 12 years. All through Secondary School, University and beyond.

I have tried changing my diet - a dietician suggested that I lower the amount of Fibre I had in my diet - this did not work. I have tried no Gluten, No dairy etc - Not worked. I have tried Pro-biotics - not worked.

Whilst at University I found that the only way I could control it would be to not eat, just 2 slices of bread and butter a day. Not only was this damaging to my health, but it also upset the people around me, especially my then boyfried (Now husband). I began eating again but put up with the Diarrhoea every time i eat and the bloating and nausea that came with it; using Immodium to be able to go out but suffering after.

Recently I have been back to my Doctor and tried explaining how it was making me feel. His fix was to put me on Buscopam and is sending me for yet another scan. I have no doubt that this will also show nothing as the countless tests before.

It is very frustrating to have an illness that cannot be seen as I feel sometimes that people think I'm making it up.

Buscopam is not working either and I am beginning to feel like nothing will ever help. So my fix is not to not eat again







I am not enjoying it and have no energy to chase my 7 month old and my mood is very low.

If anyone has anything that might help, please let me know as I can't carry on like this.


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## shelivin (Aug 8, 2013)

hello i to am an ibs d suffered for 4 yrs been through all tests meds ect got to point were i give up with the doc for just over a year til recently as they just gave me pills and said avoid stress ???? as if that is even possible! i recently got soo bad with ibs d and also very bad panic attacks that i couldnt go on holiday with my husband and son and was in such a state i went back to the docs .he has put me on amitriptyline 10mg after i reasearched through the forums to see what was working for others and asked him for these pills to try plus thought they might help with panic attacks .im also taking 15mg a day of codine and mebreverine 20mins before meals 3 times a day .the codine also helps bind you and helps with the pain and the mebreverine helps the cramps and spasyms . i too hardly eat or drink because it seems everything sets my stomach off ,especialy if im at work or need to go out which at the moment im on the sick as i dernt leave my home in fear of accident or panic attack .i carnt do anything and miss out on everything my husband and 15yr old son are understanding but its not fare on them and i feel soo guilty and deppressed about it all .i work for a supermarket and they dont understand at all and its not a place to be when you are ill and ibs d kicks off .hope you find something that helps you .


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## JessM (Aug 11, 2013)

Shelivin, I can relate to your post in many ways. I have never had any kind of normal bowel habits. When I was a child, I would hold my bowels for weeks because I hated going to the bathroom. Eventually, after a length of time my body would expel the waste involuntarily. During college, I suffered from severe throat spasms that led me to a reflux diagnosis. I was prescribed Nexium and it calmed the beast. After I graduated from college, I was hired immediately and I am still doing the same profession as an elementary art teacher. My first year of teaching went pretty well. My second year proved to me that I wasn't in control of anything. I had a wicked bout with salmonella that made me incontinent for weeks. I finally returned to work and took relatively high doses of acidophilus and went along with life with occasional episodes. Had a very uneventful pregnancy and after a c-section, my son was born. I was 8 weeks post-partum when the extremely painful cramps began to accompany diarrhea. I had a sinus infection and took a z-pac. At first, I chalked it up to bad food. We weren't cooking as much and eating fast food and I thought it was just a fluke. I taught for an entire year, clinging to my doorway in hopes that someone would walk by who could watch my class so I could run to the bathroom. The cramps were crippling and made me vomit. It started becoming extremely frequent. I couldn't even make it home without stopping to use a restroom somewhere. This led to extreme panic attacks. I began to fear the pain and the surprise attack. By June, I had a major flare while on vacation that left me in a public restroom for 45 minutes of sheer misery and then at the side of the road every 10 minutes. That was when I decided this was more than I alone could handle. Got an appt. with a local gastro practice. My life was upside down at that point, chasing a one year old and being in the bathroom for hours while my husband worked, unable to attend to my child's needs. It was hell. He scheduled me for a colonoscopy two months away and some bloodwork that determined I had an under-active thyroid. He prescribed Librax to control the diarrhea and commented that I was hyper and that would also help me relax. Two weeks after my colonoscopy, when it was determined I had IBS and a spastic colon, I felt hopeless as I endured another major flare. This time, I was terrified because I had passed blood. I got an appointment right away with a PA at the same practice. She ordered every test under the sun. A simple stool test determined I had C. Diff. After 9 months of Flagyl and Vancomycin, which my son was also treated for with 2 rounds of meds. I have a violent reaction to probiotics. I lost 75 lbs. because, like you, the only way to truly control it was to not feed the beast. I had a few "safe" foods I could nibble to hold me over but eventually I ha absolutely no appetite. I sunk under 100lbs and all of my doctors refused to listen to me about my stomach bc they were so concerned about my weight. After many months of different cocktails and doctors, I had a turning point. I had taken a diflucan for yeast overgrowth and immediately saw a change. Coupled that with extremely diligent oral care (brushing, flossing, rinsing) to reduce any bacteria and became obsessed with bleach and hand washing. I take 6 caplets of citrucel to minimize spasms. I take levbid and levsin, Wellbutrin, Xanax, a non cyclical hormonal birth control, and the one medication that turned the tide was Pamelor that I was prescribed to control my migraines, but at one time was mentioned by a specialist to try to control my IBS. When I have a flare, it's an intense, uncontrollable spasm until everything in my tract is expelled. It's draining bc I have to medicate to get it to stop. It is such a rollercoaster. I was able to gain 15 pounds thanks to the Pamelor but I seem to have entered a downward cycle recently. When I had my son I gave up sleeping which was how I could cope with stress. I think it's a manifestation of that, coupled with post infectious irritable bowel. I just want you to know you aren't alone! Try the fiber again. Citrucel makes caplets and that's more palatable than powders, etc. I was caught in the anxiety catch 22. Make time for yourself to meditate, yoga, whatever you can do to process stress. I wish you the best of luck in finding a solution. And remember, it's not your fault and you can't feel guilty that it hinders you from getting out.


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## shelivin (Aug 8, 2013)

hi thankyou soo much! you sound like you have been through hell and i know how that feels .the doctors in the uk are not on the ball when it comes to tests bc we have the nhs and dont pay for health care tests are only done when hell freezes over ! ive had to fight for them over the last 4 yrs even to get simple allergy tests for food intollerences. im at the point now were i feel like giving up asking for help although im seeing a new doctor now and hes been more helpful than the others .ive found since ive been on the sick the stress of work and getting there and back has helped me calm down my stress levels but i know the time is comming i will have to deal with that situation bc i feel i carnt return but carnt afford not to work .the job situation in the uk and were i live is very bad and there isnt any jobs .my husband is on a low income and it wont cover our outgoings so the thought of how we will manage is stressing me out ,i carnt win! plus my job is the majority reason i ended up so ill as they are a bad firm that dosnt care ! so im stuck in this cycle of if's but's and what's and i am a worry wart anyway .i want to be able to go out and work without worrying were the toilet is ,will i be ill or have an accident ect. go for a day out with my family or for drinks with friends .i miss my life and hate being like this and only people that have ibs understand that feeling and hell we suffer every day .i hope you get some resolve and take care !


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## Tangerine23 (Aug 12, 2013)

I feel the same way. People thought I was crazy. I had problems starting when I was 17. I wasn't diagnosed with IBS untill I was 22, and even now, when I have to explain it, people don't understand and its frusterating. I have lactose intolerance and an intolerance to gluten. I was doing okay on the gluten free and lactose free diet but i'm having similar problems again. I'm at the end of my rope. Its just nice to know now that i'm not the only one.


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## sister5 (Aug 17, 2013)

It's horrible to read that, but I'm going through the same thing right now. My IBS was "in remission" I call it for 10 yrs and it's been back with a vengeance for about 2 years. I've lost a lot of weight this month alone and feel the same way; there's barely anything I can eat! I have sever constipation though, so don't want to get too specific. My only suggestion is to just add 1 new item of food you think you'll be able to tolerate. If it doesn't work, scratch it off. It takes time, but you will be able to find things that don't give you symptoms. My list of foods is fairly small, but my husband helps me focus on the things I can eat and we go from there. I try to keep the stress down, but my in-laws are not understanding AT ALL and comment every time I see them about what I'm eating or not eating. They make me feel like I have an eating disorder, when they just don't understand the problem. I have a 5 yr old and like to go the gym, when I'm well, but have just been able to do a light swim or 10-15 min. of very light excercise. I hear you should try to excercise daily even when you have symptoms because it draws your blood to other areas of the body. It does help, but again, when you don't have calorie intake, it's difficult to use more energy. I feel ya!


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## andrealee (Aug 2, 2005)

I have severe IBS-d. Probiotics helped some. Began taking Lotronex, 2mg/day, for 6 yrs now. I got my life back! Now I can eat most stuff, travel OK, work full time, social again, active again.

I was homebound prior and devastated that my life was so awful. Diagnosed with IBS-d at age 40, 15 yrs ago. I cannot imagine life without Lotronex, because it was no life.


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