# Going to a new doc



## Girl (Jun 19, 2006)

Hey guys,It always takes times to say to a new doc what is my problem cuz of the shame it causes.I find it not easy to talk about bloating problems and all the other goodies IBS gives me.How you start to talk about the Ibs to your doc?


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## Cherrie (Sep 1, 2006)

Hiya, I can totally sympathize.Unfortunately, sometimes there is just no other way of saying certain things. I guess one could substitute bloating with "fullness" and gas with "wind" to make it sound better?? But then again it may not be as accurate... The truth is, as I talked to my dr about some things that I prefer not to talk to anybody, I discovered that dr.s usually don't see it that way -- they are professionals and they're used to it and so they have that professional distance so to speak. In fact, if you use pure medical terms (google them you'll find them), if would not make your dr or the situation feel awkward. Another way is to say one or two short sentences to briefly acknowledge your embarrassment -- like, "I'm a little embarrassed, but..." or "is it OK if I talk about..." stuff like that. It usually works for me cos when I say this, my dr knows I feel embarrassed and so he makes a lot of effort to make sure that I feel comfortable talking about it and he usually shows a lot of extra support, respect, and sympathy when he knows that I feel awkward. So in the end it feels good to finally have said it and also feels good that he doesn't judge me or anything.Hope this helps Cherrie


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## 16963 (Dec 5, 2006)

Dont' feel embarassed! This what they do all day long - talk to people about unpleasent health problems. You're just another IBS-er to them...it's not weird or freakish to them. It is really no big deal at all - just facts he uses to help you stay healthy. This isn't some random person on the street you're telling these things to. It's someone who worked very, very hard to be able to have a job where s/he can talk about gross body problems all day long!


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## Patient (Jul 5, 2007)

It helped me to have my mother in the doctor's office with me, and my boyfriend out in the waiting room. Sure, it's a little weird to have an audience in the room with you, but if it's someone that knows all about your problems the emotional support is a big help. Substituting words and acknowledging your embarrassment are great ideas. Don't worry about him telling anyone though, they aren't allowed to discuss your medical issues with parties that have nothing to do with them. Good luck hun.


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## Girl (Jun 19, 2006)

Thanks a lot guys, I actually didn't have the time to say thanks du problems of the pc until now.It really helped your advices, I am after the meeting.I even don't want my mother to be with me front of the doc cuz in a very strange way I am not feeling comfortable with this. Yeah my family is not the "best" choice when it comes to support, so I'm glad for you Patient, you have your family to support you.About the meeting, I showed him the 2 ultra sound checks I did, and I need to be in a follow-up about the ultra sound every half year.Then came the talk about other problem that makes my life so miserable: The bloating.I told him..say doctor..I am suffering from this problem, it really annoying and how to say..it cause me from time to time also anxiety, when I need to go out, being around with other people. What do you say about "Biofeedback"?Doc: Biofeedback?Me: Yes.. Biofeedback..I want to try this maybe it will help me.Doc: You should go to the psychiatrist. You have anxiety right? why you have anxiety?Me: Yes I have anxiety when the problem of the bloating starting..du the IBS, I can't help it.Doc: But again why you have anxiety?Me: What you mean? I have anxiety when the problem of the bloating starting.. it's not that the anxiety starts from nowhere!Oh well, I think he didn't understand why I have the anxiety du the bloating.Once he said he doesn't know about the Biofeedback and the other time he says like he do know about the Biofeedback, go figure some docs.Now, for 3 months, I need to go only to him, and if I won't like the way he is acting with me, I will have to go to look for another Doc.About medical hypnosis I didn't ask, I will go back to my family practice to ask her.


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## Cherrie (Sep 1, 2006)

oh, Girl, I know, sometimes dr.s just don't hear what we really want to tell them...From my conversations with my dr. (who's a real nice person, but you know dr.s), I've found that talking to dr.s is like designing survey questions -- they can only hear one point at a chunck of time, until it's clear to both me and him that we've moved on to another issue. So, usually what I found to seem to be working is if I say to my dr. --Me: I have three issues I need to talk to you about.dr.: Sure, let's hear them.Me: First, I have some pretty bad pain in my lower ab and it seem to move aroundDr.: (explains, examines, and then we talk more about this one thing).Me: Second, I'm still having multiple BMs in the morning, which makes me unable to go out in the morning.Dr.: (talk with me about this one thing).Me: Third, I have a growing sleeping problem and it just won't go away. And when I can't sleep, my gut feels worse,Dr.: (talk with me about this one thing).I've tried to talk with him in various ways and this way seems to be working the best, as he just really can hear one thing at a time. If I say to him "I have anxiety due to my pain, so that's why I can't sleep well at night, and vice versa", then it seems that his mind would really mess up and then he won't really hear what I really want to tell him...I'm not sure if this is your case with your dr.? If it is, you might want to try this... Hope your dr. can hear you better.Cherrie


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## evulienka (Jan 12, 2007)

Hey Girl, I think I have problems very similar to yours. I know what it feels like to be anxious because of the bloating and the pains. When I go out I usually end up with bloated stomach and really bad pains. The only thing that helps me is to lie down on my stomach and wait until the pain is relieved. Of course I can´t lie down if I am out ( like where can you lie down in a pub or a restaurant - lying on the table would look a bit crazy lol). So it means for me that I have to stay in pains by the time I finally get home. Maybe that´s why I usually spend the most of the time at home. Anyway, to get back to your problem - I´m so sorry that your doc is so unsympathetic. I mean, it doesn´t seem like he didn´t understand what you told him, it seems like he couldn´t believe that bloating and IBS could actually cause anxiety issues. I´m afraid I won´t give you any valuable advice about communication with doctors - cause I´m the one who has them, too. I am so ashamed to talk about this stuff, a few times I even ended up crying at the doctor´s office. Once I said it loud, it seemed like all my problems became real and it was suddenly overwhelming for me ( as crazy as it sounds- that´s the truth) I ´m sorry if my post wasn´t much help, I just wanted to let you know that I understand what you´re going through and that you´re not alone in this. I think once you find an understanding doctor ( I did), it´ll be much easier to talk about your problems. I wish you best of luck with everything


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## 14989 (Aug 3, 2006)

If you're seeing a gastroenterologist and you're talking about bloating, trust me, that's not nearly even to make him or her uncomfortable. You have to realize that this is what they do all day. These are the people that have been inside of the intestines and colon, literally.


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## Girl (Jun 19, 2006)

Thanks guys,You have a point there Cherrie, maybe when I talked to him about 3 subjects in one line he started to be confused  I want so much to be healthy again that I didn't notice I am talking too much in one line lol, poor doc! When he said "so you just keep to make ultra sound each half year..anything else"?Then I talked about the bloating problem and tried to talk real slow and to see how I can make sure that he understand my problem of bloating.I talked about alternative medicine also, if he can advise me about this.. no, he didn't.So yes, it kinda pissed me that he didn't show at least a bit interest in talking about ways to resolve the problem.I was a bit surprised that he didn't know much about the "Biofeedback" check he is a gastro doc after all. I talked to my friend today, and she said that I need to go to another Gastro doc. Cuz if he didn't want to talk too much about the Biofeedback, or he didn't know a lot about it, I'd better go where the docs are really understanding that bloating make one feels so uncomfortable 24/7.Hey Evulienka, I swear that I can't see my stomach in the way it looks anymore.I wonder if medical hypnosis or biofeedback will make my stomach to look normal again and not so bloated, I am sick to see my stomach at this size and just like you I also lie on my stomach until the pain go away. Most of the time I am at home, trying to study and read..no that I can't go to the university or something, wish I could though.It cause a lot of shame,especially when we are woman to talk about this problem.Before the Ibs I was super shy, now I am still shy but less I believe, we must to say to the docs what is the problem and yes it's hard.My family doesn't know exactly what is my problem, and why should I tell them if they make fun of me? and worst then this, they can't believe that I suffer from the stomach du Ibs, saying that it's all in my head.When I DID talked to someone a bit, about the problem that I can't stay in class, it was only to the nurse of the school, and it was in the age 12, nine years ago. There I really cried. She hugged me and say don't worry you'll be fine.Since, the Ibs made me so apathetic when it comes to feelings, I almost never cry no matter how bad days I can have.Back to the subject.. Maybe he didn't saw a lot of patients with this problem of bloating..this is the impress I got, so he didn't make the connection between the bloating problem and anxiety.Thanks Evulienka, you already helped and encouraged me, I really hope I will find other doc that will want to take me as a personal and desperate project that just want to be normal again and he will do all he can in order to help me Hey Liberate, yes.. I did talked to him about my problem but this doc seemed not to help me a lot.Wow I wrote a lot, hope you're not sleeping by now.I am so glad at least we have this forum to help and support each other.Just health friends


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