# can i ever enjoy sex?



## 18114 (Apr 28, 2006)

I have been trying to get sexualy active for the first time. I am 22 and have been with the same guy for 7 years. until now, we held back, waiting for the right time... Anyways, after trying 3 times it hasnt gotten any better, it is very paiful. I feel no pleasure while he is trying to penetrate. He can always give me an orgasm with his fingers, massaging my vagina and I feel that i want him to go inside but as soon as he does, my pleasure is gone and the pain is unbarable. PLEASE HELP is my IBS getting in the way!? The last 2 times he went in I either had to go pee or poo right away! Also, gas has been an issue!!! Will I ever be able to enjoy sex? I really want to enjoy it!


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## Kathleen M. (Nov 16, 1999)

I don 't think this is an IBS issue.You should see your gynecologist to see if there is any issue with your vagina making it that painful.Having to pee afterward is pretty normal.K.


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## 14448 (Jun 14, 2006)

It might be that the muscles around your vagina are involuntarily contracting when he tries to enter you. The medical term is vaginismus and it's common in women who are new to sex, especially if it hurt the first time and you're nervous about more pain. Or it could be that you're too dry. Maybe he could give you an orgasm before penetration? Or you could try using lubricant.My first time was awful! I was 16 (I'm 21 now), had a steady boyfriend and was v.excited about it. But it just wouldn't go in! After a long embarassing struggle he eventually got it in about an inch and it was excrutriating. He went out to the shop to buy me some chocolate and I cried down the phone to my best friend! Later we did get it in but it was painful every time. Sex was painful for years but now I can usually get past the penetration pain. I feel discomfort when he enters me but once I get really turned on I forget about it. Still, the pain I associate with intercourse has killed my sex drive. If I were you I'd get checked out at a GUM or sexual health clinic, just in case it IS something physically wrong. They can check for pelvic inflammation or infections, or refer you to be checked for endermetriosis. I DEFINATELY think IBS can cause pain during sex. Penetration puts pressure on the intestines so if they're sensitive or sore it's like knocking a bruise.


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## *Luna* (Nov 19, 2001)

Try using extra lube and make sure he takes it sloooow. As soon as it starts hurting it's very possible your muscles are clamping up. If he doesn't go any further and you try to relax (kiss, touch each other, etc.) and you may loosen up. Try being on top if you aren't already... then you can control how deeply he penetrates.


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## KLG (Jul 8, 2002)

Is the pain down there or in your lower abdomen. When my IBS was bad sex used to hurt pretty badly...in my lower abdomen/pelvic area if that makes sense. So if its abdomen it could be your IBS...but if it there is burning or any kind of pain down there I would talk to your gyno. There are plenty of reasons ranging from yeast infection, sensitivity to whatever soap you use and the reasons others gave above. Good luck to you.


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## Cartoon Creature (Jul 12, 2002)

Hi Jojokala,I think there is some really good advice here, i noticed you posted 10 days ago, i was wondering if anything had changed or hopefully improved since then







Personally I think it has something to do with the fact it hurt the first time, so now subconciously something is going on down stairs. The mind can be a very powerful thing.Have you noticed whether your vagina drys up as soon as he goes to penetrate. Sex with a dry vagina is VERY painful!! May you could try something like lubricant.... brilliant stuff. The other thing is does your man have a large p*nis? A big p*nis and a small vagina...... well i'll let you do the math lol, if this is the case maybe you need to experiment with positions.Sukie mentioned involuntary contractions. I also believe this is very possible and maybe something like hypnotherapy might help.Sex is never fun the first few times for a girl, it hurts and its uncomfortable. It takes a few shots for it to begin to feel any good. A little of topic, how come we can say vagina but we cant say p*nis?? They are both the anatomical names for those parts.All the bestPoo Pea


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## Kathleen M. (Nov 16, 1999)

I think the word ban default may be set that way based on what people do with the words, not whether they are anatomical.For some reason overall on the internet people post nastier or spammier things with the male word than the female one.K.


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## SpAsMaN* (May 11, 2002)

Hi







I introduce myself sometimes here.







LOLYou may want to check this post,this is common in IBS:Vaginal disconfort and IBS:http://ibsgroup.org/groupee/forums/a/tpc/f...261/m/391100022


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