# Daughter missing school



## Clergy mom

Help! My daughter is 13- y.o. And was "diagnosed" with IBS two years (which the doctor says is actually an anti-diagnosis since everything else has been ruled out.). To be honest, I didn't think IBS was "real" until I saw how much my daughter suffers (sorry).
She was doing fi airily well until this year. Now she is tired all the time and misses about one day a week of school. I am getting her evaluated for depression because I think that is one of the issues.
Unsure what to do about school. I was told by her counselor not to worry about her absences from the school point of view, but I'm still concerned. My husband thinks I should force her to go and punish her when she doesn't, but it seems cruel to punish her for being in pain,!
Any input would help


----------



## happymommmy

Is it possible that your daughter has a vitamin deficiency? A few possible thoughts... Vitamin b12, like a sublingual that you can get from GNC is really terrific, but take with food. It's energizing, as well. If she is ibs-c, increasing vitamin c, and other vitamins may help, but again, take with food. If she leans toward diarrhea, Diarsoothe is really effective, and will stop cramps and colon spasms. It's totally safe for any age. Do sweeten with honey, or your favorite sweetener, as it's really tart. Too many carbs in a diet can constipate, and too many fruit juices, like apple, can constipate. Think about her diet being balanced.


----------



## happymommmy

As far as your husband's response, is he aware she's in pain? If he thinks she's faking, and just wants to skip school, you may have to take time to further discuss with him. Facebook has several support groups for IBS which are well rounded. Hope this helps.


----------



## zeroblue

Would you punish a physically disabled person because he/she can't walk?

I would say missing a day a week of school is very understandable in these circumstances, she's definitely doing better than me in this department.


----------



## Clergy mom

Thanks! I think my husband doesn't believe the pain is that bad, and I'm confused because I have been told different things. Her regular doctor said she should try to "tough it out" as much as possible and go to school.( but that's before it was this bad). The GI doctor was terrible and said, "if it doesn't wake you up at night, it's not real pain."
Thanks for the feedback. Hopefully, I can get some better treatment from a doctor to help us through this.


----------



## BQ

I would get another Dr's opinion... preferably from a GI who is known to treat people with IBS. Have they offered her an antispasmodic med for the pain? Is pain her only symptom?


----------



## DanielleB

Hi, I saw your post and just thought that I would reply. I'm 28 now and have had IBS since I was about 12/13ish? I'm a woman so I thought that I would just leave a little note to you about your daughter. I went through school with IBS and opt wasn't good. I think that my mum didn't really believe that I was bad? I would be doubled up in agony and still be sent to school. Throughout college I thought that, 'hey, everything I'm eating makes me I'll. So, I won't eat'. Don't think that I am saying that that is what's going to happen but you need to get a grip of this before hand. When I was 22 I had CBT and it saved my life. I know people say that's stupid but it really did. I had dropped down to 6 stone, had bad depression and was crying all day long. I like in England, I'm not sure where you're from but I bet you could find someone to talk to her about it. I carried on the sessions for a few months until I was, 'given the all clear'. Not that ibs is ever gone. It's not. Always lurking in the back of your mind. I bought my hypnotherapists audio tracks so when I feel an attack starting I grab my iPod, cd, iPad etc and put her on. Ibs must not rule my life is one of my sayings. When I feel an attack start I think that , 'yes, this is uncomfortable but it won't kill me. It's not so bad, that it disappear on the spot'. I compose myself, take my iPod, headphones in, go to my place and relax. 
Ibs is horrible but if you're there for her you can get through it. My mum and dad always know when ones starting and what to do. Bath on, hot water bottle ready, anti spasmodics ready. Yes, I won't lie, school and college did make it stress but things are never certain in this life. It is not the end of the word and accept the fact that ibs is a part of my life. I can manage in the future. When I say these words back to myself I feel that ibs is less pressured and realistic. Be there for your daughter. Write a food diary with her. Keep a list of things going on that day that might cause her ibs to start again. With regards to diet I have no wheat, gluten or dairy products. I don't drink tea, coffee or fizzy drinks. Have a look on the Fodmap diet too. 
All in all, I've been your daughter and I've come through it. Speak to the school about it. At least that way if she needs to leave the room, she can. They can't discriminate against her. Make sure she has her ibs survival kit in her bag too, diarrhoea tablets, a heat pad she can stick to her skin or clothes to ease and comfort her. Anti spasmodics if she takes any.

I'm here if you ever need to talk and hope this helps anyone else going through this.

P.S I am writing this in the bath, having an ibs attack and have my hypnotherapy on in the background. Xxxxxxxx


----------



## Jamendo1234

I know your frustration so very well. My daughter has had some sort of blockage or something that is preventing her from being able to empty her bowels. We have been to the ER twice now and her doctors four times. They don't have a clue what is going on with her. She has taken Magnesium Citrate,two full 4 liters of GoLytely,suppositories,Senna and multiple enemas and to no vail. She has missed so much school that she has to finish out the school year via online classes. She is in so much distress and there is nothing that we can do for her. She has had a CT scan and X-ray and they both confirm that she is full from top to bottom. Being under the age of 18 she has to see a pediatric gastrologist which is nearly impossible to get into see. Time is something we don't have.


----------



## LeighLeigh

I'm 18 years old and in my second year of college, Ive had ibs for around 6 years now, i completely understand how your daughter feels right now, I've never had good attendance in school due to flare ups and being sent home alot, or not being able to go in, i think you need to make sure you're being as supportive as you can, my mum doesn't believe me half the time and still sends me into college, but what everyone needs to understand is that a lot of the time, we know our limits, we know when we are able or unable to do things, unless we get an out of the blue flare up (which happens very often for me), you need to believe your daughter if she says she is unable to attend school, to force her in is just going to make her worse, leading to anxiety or depression, with a lot more stress


----------

