# Uncomfortable sex, IBS sucks



## Leataylor (Aug 17, 2011)

I have been with my Boyfriend for nearly 4 years and have been sleeping together for about a year and half (im only 18) since ive had IBS-A for about 10months now and whenever i have sex i get the feeling i need to use the bathroom, i get cramping and sometimes pass gas. Its very embarrassing but my boyfriend doesnt understand. I was just wondering if anyone had the same problems and had any advice for me


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## flower44 (Feb 7, 2011)

Hi,IBS does suck! I have also been with my boyfriend for nearly 4 years. I was diagnosed with IBS about 2 years ago and since then our sex life has been very average. I get the same kind of feeling as you- a pressure feeling that makes me want to go to the toilet and abdominal pain. It's horrible and very unfortunate but I have done a lot of research and questioned many doctors and so far it doesn't look like there is anything to help. I try to go to the toilet as often as possible so that I'm more likely to be able to have sex. I also follow a very strict no FODMAP diet and have eliminated many other foods that irritate my bowels- if you are not already on the FODMAP diet definitely look it up and have a go- google Sue Shephard FODMAP. As for your boyfriend issues maybe ask him to read some information about IBS to make him realise how uncomfortable and annoying it can be. Or take him with you to a doctor appointment and ask the doctor for information about IBS. Make sure he understands that you are just as annoyed at him- but it is out of your control and that he needs to understand and accept that about you.When I first got IBS I was too embarrassed to explain it to my boyfriend and he got annoyed that I wasn't keen to have sex. But after a few weeks I told him what I was going through and explained how uncomfortable sex is for me. He completely understands and is very supportive even though we hardly ever have sex- at best once every few weeks. So talk to your boyfriend and make sure he understands you can't do anything about it- he will have to accept it its a part of who you are now!Hope this helps


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## Sugatree87 (Sep 21, 2011)

Had the same thing; sometimes I felt like I had gone to the bathroom right there on the bed in the middle of it (thank goodness I never have!). I try to have a movement before and not eat so close to bed time, when sex usually happens. When I am bloated/nauseous or feeling full, no sex for me. There were times I had to stop because my stomach just began to hurt too much. I am glad to see I am not the only one; I have tried to look up info on how to make this better, but to no avail. I wish everyone the best of luck.


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## Ignea (Oct 10, 2011)

Yep, IBS does suck and sometimes penetration is not an option but...... I don't know if you are familiar with Dan Savage's column, but if you are not then maybe you should give it a try. He receives a few letters from women who for one reason or another cannot or feel uncomfortable being penetrated. He, in my opinion, gives great advice. But I will warn you *not everyone will like it*. Some people may find the letters he publishes or his advices shocking, disgusting or imoral. One thing I learned from reading his stuff is that you should think of your whole body as being sexual. So, ok, maybe penetration is not an option most of the time, but there is so much more to sex than that. Just... be creative, I guess. The adress: http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=10213626#thisweek


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## TrixieJenkins (Oct 18, 2011)

Having IBS and a sex life just plain sucks. I have a very understanding husband and I am thankful for that. I still get all embarrassed about it. I guess this is just how it is going to be for now on. :-/


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## vampy31 (Jan 2, 2012)

Thankfully my boyfriend is extremely understanding. We have been together for over 3 years, we do not live together. My boyfriend and I average sex at least 4 times a week. I always let him know if my tummy was upset that day or if I've been okay, if he knows how I've been feeling then if I need to stop he is more understanding. Here are some tips that work for me. Of course, these mainly work when I'm not having any issues but even if my tummy has been upset all day sometimes it helps.Before Sex:Wait at least an hour before tryingHead to the bathroom after eating, wait a few minutes before tryingI have a cup of tea after eating, pepperment tea works best for me (I also take peppermint candies throughout the day)I do my best to relax (this is the HARDEST THING!!)LOTS OF foreplay (this helps to show if you will get upset during sex then you can not push it, or it can show you are 100% ready)I've also found that if my tummy was a little upset that finding a position where I don't get "jostled" too much is best. Of course everything is touch and go unfortunately, but I hope that some of you try this and hopefully some of it works for you!


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## spirit&light (Jan 21, 2012)

wow, i'm so glad a found this topic on here. I have had gas during sex and was so embarrassed with my husband I cried. He was very understanding but that was before we even knew it was IBS. Now I know why it happened and why my stomach hurts sometimes especially if he is on top. Women really need to talk about this stuff. I don't feel so alone...my IBS has been acting up so bad lately we haven't had sex in almost a month. It's tough...


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