# Upset, and I have no idea where to post this



## Cinna (Apr 23, 2004)

Okay, I had no idea where to post this, and I'm just so, upset and angry with my parents. They just never understand, they never understand anything. I have IBS-C, just in case anyone wants to know..My parents made me eat broccoli, and my stomach doesn't agree with it, but I just melted a bit of my soy cheese on top, just so I didn't have it completely plain. Anyways, they're always getting mad at me because I'm also paranoid of eating something and then finding out it makes me sick. My parents think it's all in my head and I'm just making this up! I am NOT! They always, make me feel so upset and always seem to make me cry, why can't they just try to understand, even just a little. It hurts when they say I'm lying and that this is all in my head, my mom and dad also think that I'm a picky eater and that those foods don't upset my stomach, my dad even accused me of throwing up my food just because I took a long time in the washroom. He thinks I'm one of those girls who doesn't like their bodies and begins to be anorexic.Ugh, I can't take them anymore! I've tried talking to them but they still think it's all in my head. I have no idea what to do anymore...


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## WhoaNellie1487 (May 5, 2003)

First of all,Take a deep deep breath and try to relax. Getting upset doesn't help. I do understand why you are upset though. My family thinks the same way most of the time..You know what you have,and you know it's not a lie. You also have us all here that totally understand how you feel.It's just to bad to see your parents aren't supporting you in your situation. Have you ever tried finding a list of symptoms, and/or having your doctor talk to your parents about what you have? I don't know much more to say, but I hope things work out. I'll be praying for you, if you need someone to talk to..you can contact me at van_marcuss###hotmail.com (MSN)WhoaNellie1487###covad.netor WhoaNellie81487,That's my AIM SN. ::hugs:: hang in there ok?


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## Cinna (Apr 23, 2004)

Thanks for replying, it means a lot. I'm trying real hard to calm down because it makes my insides all twisted up and then my stomach hurts.Right now, I'm ignoring them, because I just don't want to get even more upset and more angry and then end up on my bed for the rest of the evening.I have MSN, so maybe I can talk with you there?


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## WhoaNellie1487 (May 5, 2003)

Yeah, I know what you mean. I hate when I get upset, it messes everything! >_<Hopefully,I'll speak to you on MSN again tonight. Until then! I hope you have a good day!


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## Robbie_UK (Apr 20, 2004)

My brother and mother think I am "gay", or that I want to be thin, because i have to be selective about what I eat. They think I am a fussy eater, so much that they are reluctant to allow me to be diagnosed professionally.


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## Cinna (Apr 23, 2004)

Thanks for posting Robbie. They actually think that? My gosh, how rude of them. Have you talked to them? I know I've tried so many times to talk to my parents but they just keep brushing it off. I'm just starting giving up on trying to make them understand.


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## WhoaNellie1487 (May 5, 2003)

I know what you mean Cinna.. My younger sister doesn't get what I'm dealing with. So,she gets angry everytime I tell her I can't do something.She calls me Negative Nellie,and stuff like that.


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## Cinna (Apr 23, 2004)

Awww... well, I'll tell you what my brother says. He even makes me cry with the stuff he says!He'll be like "Yeah, you're so f*cked up. You probably have cancer and you're going to die"He's so cruel, and it hurts.


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## kazzy3 (Apr 11, 2003)

Cinna, I'm so sorry that your parents don't understand ibs. Maybe you can help them get it... Go to your library find books on ibs. check out webmd and mayoclinic.com and print the info you get from there. Show them what you have learned and tell them that your symptoms match. See your doc or a pediatric gastroenterologist. Ask a parent to go with you, and bring some questons to ask the doc, there are no stupid questions. This is about you, so you take charge. Unfortunately people who do not have ibs have no clue as to what it's like, it is our job to keep them informed, and know what's best for us. Good luck and take care. By the way, I am a mom with ibs and have a 14 year old son with ibs you are not alone.


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## christywisty (Mar 12, 2002)

You have every right to feel that way, and I do understand. I was sick for years before anyone believed me. Once I had surgery in January 2003 and was diagnosed with endometriosis, it was like everything made sense to the doctors and to those around me. I have over ten diagnoses now, but even though they were all diagnosed within a six month time frame, I've been dealing with some of them for eight years or more.I was really hurt that my parents and doctors wouldn't take me seriously. I know they (my parents) love me more than life itself, but I needed them years ago. That built up into years of pain, and to this day, I still don't have a great relationship with my father. I was actually crying about it tonight.It may take a long time before it sets in for everyone else, but lean on the ones that listen to and care for you when you need them. In the meantime, stand up for what you know when it comes to how your diet affects you. It's tricky trying to come across the right way. You're not trying to be defiant. I think if you could find some information online or from a doctor about how important it is to follow a certain diet, then maybe it would help them. If we can help in any way, then don't hesitate to ask. Regards,Christy


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## Cinna (Apr 23, 2004)

I did show my parents things from the internet, I printed out stuff, like just the other day. And my dad was like "Oh, you're just making yourself believe this, so you think you have it" I just couldn't believe he said that. They have no idea, and it hurts. No one understands at all, well, the people around me in real life don't understand. Well, my guidance counsellor understands because she has Chrons diesease (I don't know if I spelt that correctly) so she understands. Unfortunately I can't see her whenever I need someone to talk to.Right now, I'm on period and I'm in SO much pain. I went to the gynecologist for the first time on Monday and I was put on birth control and I got a prescription for Naproxen. But, the crappy part is, I have like most of the side effects and ugh, I just can't take it anymore. I missed one day of school, which was today, I want to go to school tomorrow but I don't know if the pain will go away. My parents get so mad when I miss school, but I seriously can't help it, I'm just always in so much pain, it's just really hard. I don't know what to do anymore.


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## kazzy3 (Apr 11, 2003)

Cinna, I am so sorry you are going through this. It's very difficult when no one understands and thinks you are faking. Have you tried any home remedies? You say you are on the c side, so am I. Did you try a fiber supplement Fiber choice might be one to try, it's chewable and you don't need a ton of water for it. Water is good though, try to drink some as much as possible. I don't know what you eat, but you could try some cooked vegies with a little olive oil. Strawberries are good too. I add some to cheerios every A.m. Try not to stress, I know that's hard with all you have going, try yoga, maybe pick-up a tape on it somewhere. Listening to cds and reading helps too. If you keep a journal of what you eat and include what's going on in your day, this can be a benefit too. See your guidence counselor as much as possible. Don't give up on your parents, I'm sure they care and want what is best for you, they simply don't understand this condition. Keep trying to calmly explain to them that this condition is real, that many people your age have it, and maybe have them check out the BB here. If all else fails, you can always post here where you're sure to find people who understand. Take care.


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## Cinna (Apr 23, 2004)

Thanks kazzyI haven't tried any home remedies, since I don't know any but I guess I can try and do what you suggested. I do try and drink a lot of water. It's kind of hard to ger any fiber supplements and of that sort, especially in my family. My parents always get so mad when I don't eat what they made for dinner and same when I try and make something for myself. I have no idea why though, it's not like I'm complaining, I'm not telling them to make something for me. I may not know much about cooking, but they're not even letting me try!I'm going to school tomorrow, hopefully I'll make it through the whole day. But I think I will. I'm going to try and see if I can talk with my guidance counsellor for a bit.Also, my mother was talking to one of her good friends and blurted out everything that was going on with me, ugh, she tells everyone and I've told her to stop, I mean it's embarrassing! Anyways, her friend's daughter has IBS and her son has something similiar to IBS but worse, I'm not sure what it was. Anyways, her friend was talking to my mom about it and saying that it was serious and stuff and that my mom's friend wanted to talk to me. So, I think my mom is slowly being convinced. I just hope my dad will try and understand.Thanks for posting again kazzy


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## WARRAVEN (Mar 11, 2004)

I think there was a booklet floating somewhere on here that would help ya. I feel the same way you do, the only way I have been able to get over it is using patience and sterness. They eventually gave in for me(mostly when they actually realized its a medical condition, instead of my "faking it"). Being mad will solve nothing though, just stick in there, something is bound to work out. raven


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## bran-d (Dec 28, 2003)

Cinna, i'm sorry that you have to deal with all this stuff,but i no exactly what your talking about. I also have ibs-c, and my parents don't understand. My mom still thinks i'm just faking it to get attention and my dad just tells me to tough it out. I miss sooo much school, and my parents and my teachers yell at me..it's soo embarrassing! I have to get up really early every morning to get ready, and when everyone is ready to go and i'm still in the bathroom, my mom bangs on the door and yells at me to get it together and that i'm faking it. then i hear here downstairs making fun of me with my sister, and she gets mad at me for making everyone late. i hope u have a good friend who understands what it's like to live with ibs to help u get through it. i wish i could offer you advice about what to do, but i'm still trying to work it out myself. if you do have any questions or anetin (hope i can help) e-mail me.i hope things get better for ya!


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## pinupgirl1948 (Aug 6, 2003)

I know how you feel!My parents never took me seriously eather,and they both have IBS too!!!I have often been accused of having an eating disorder.I guess some of the IBS behavior mimics an eating disorder.You should show your parents this post.Maybe they will see that you are not alone and not so uncommon for IBS.Irritable Bowel can make a person completely obsessed with food and the bathroom.One minute you're starving and want to eat everything,and the next you wish you never ate!It's all so frusterating to have a digestive system that causes so much pain and nobody seems to know how to help.IBS is sooo underrated.It can be very debilitating.It's really tough to get people to understand the degree of pain that it causes both physically and emotionally.At least you have us,and you know that you are never alone!You can e-mail me anytime you want to talk or just cry!!!Take care Sweetie  -Wendi-


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## Cinna (Apr 23, 2004)

Thanks guys. It's good to know I'm not alone! I hope you guys can work out your problems with your parents. So do I!Well, I'm trying not to get mad and upset and everything, but my dad keeps on adding fuel to the fire. On thursday, I think it was... he went to his doctor and he talked to HIS doctor about ME. And he told me that he's doctor said that IBS was not a disease and that it was all in my head! He said that there was no such thing as IBS and that practically my pain, my suffering was bull****. I was so furious. I couldn't believe this! But, I think I read somewhere that doctors diagnose someone with IBS because they aren't quite sure what the person has or how it's caused.Anyways, I hate my dad. yes, _hate_.


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## pinupgirl1948 (Aug 6, 2003)

How terrible!!!How can a doctor say that there is no such thing as IBS







What they really mean,is they don't know what the hell is wrong,and i guess that some doctors just don't want to admit that


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## StillHoping (Sep 16, 2002)

he told me that he's doctor said that IBS was not a disease and that it was all in my head! He said that there was no such thing as IBS and that practically my pain, my suffering was bull****. If that were true why would so many doctors & researchers be wasting their time studying IBS & other motility disorders?You should show your father some info from The UNC.They have dedicated many years to studying & developing meds to help people who have bull****.


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## kazzy3 (Apr 11, 2003)

That's awful. Unfortunately some docs still believe that ibs is in our heads. Luckily, there are also docs who will believe and want to help. Show your dad this website. Can all these people be dreaming up this condition? I don't think so. People who don't have ibs simply don't understand. Try again to show your parents everything you have learned and explain to them that is very upsetting to you when they don't take you seriously, and keep posting here. Let them know that you don't appreciate them talking about your ibs with other people. Ask them to please talk to you about it, try to be calm when you go to them, I know it is frustrating. Tell them that you need their support on this. I think eventually they will come around. Continue to eat what works for you and keep looking for things that might work, tell them it is simply something you have to do. And of course keep posting.


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## blackmascarabottle (May 15, 2004)

OMG Cinna, my mum is like this with me with Crohns, except she thinks I am now anorexic ... The fear of not being able to eat something and then being too afraid incase you violently vomit or have a dihorrea episode is mentally challenging in itself ... We need our parents support NOT their criticism or lack of belief in us ... I feel your pain honey *hugs*


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## Cinna (Apr 23, 2004)

Thanks guys. Posting replies really means a lot. You know, I am going to try and talk to them, hopefully it won't end in a fight.I'm still going to eat what doesn't make me sick whether they like it or not. I'm also going to see if I can get anything off the internet to show them that this is real!Thanks again all, ,and take care of yourselves!


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## theresnopoint (Sep 7, 2003)

cinna, my god...I admire u sososos much now. My parents are like smothering freaks, so they believed me and took me from doctor to doctor when i first started having problems...I cant even imagine suffering like that without any help...although my parents are nazis about school. I'll be sitting in the bathroom from 2am-7, and my mom will be yelling at me to go to school, even though im like dead tired and in pain...but i live with it....and u will too. If its any help, u got a whole board of people who understand u perfectly. Good Luck, and have some pepto bismol...and ive found weed helps the ibs, but im not sure where u stand on that


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## Cinna (Apr 23, 2004)

I'm admired







Okies!







Pepto Bismol doesn't really help me, I've had it. It only worked for me the couple times I've D.Weed eh? I never heard about that helping







I still never actually sat and talked to my parents about it, same with my guidance counsellor. I know her job is important, I tried making an appointement with her, but I couldn't find her anywhere. I also told my mom on how I feel about my dad and his attitude. Another thing I said to my mom was if I could talk to her lady friend, because my mom's lady friend has knows about IBS since her daughter and her son have it.


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## BathroomMasterpiece (May 9, 2004)

I have been suffering with IBS-D for two years now, and I feel your pain. Having the stomach problems is hard enough without added stress from family and friends. My father has IBS-D, so my mother and father are both fairly understanding. In my opinion, the best thing you can do is give your parents the information and let them take it how they will. You can't force them to understand the condition, of course, even though it is unfortunate that they do not. In my case, and I imagine everyone else, I was diagnosed with IBS before I knew anything about it, so it is not as though I could make it up or create symptoms based on knowing about the disease. Definitely try talking to your parents when you can, and try to stay calm and cooperative - yelling back will not help them to understand (though it is very hard to be agreeable with someone who is yelling at you and calling you a liar). Stay true to yourself and live life to the best of your ability. You always have friends here to turn to when you need them, and everything always turns out fine in the end - it's just getting there that is the hard part. Be strong and smile.-J


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## Cinna (Apr 23, 2004)

Thanks for posting,I have shown my parents information off the internet. I even got panflets from the hospital to show them that this is real. I never talked to them about what I gave them yet. I guess I just have to be patient, even though I can't help but be impatient.Unfortunately, I got in another fight with my dad about another thing. He just doesn't get anything, it's like it goes in one ear and out the other.


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