# 19m IBS!! Life not looking so good!



## hitznrunz (Dec 19, 2002)

I was just diagnosed with IBS and i'm not sure how to deal with it. I've been through so much in my young life and this is just another obstacle. I am 19 years old and im going to a new college in january after taking last semester off. Over the past 9 months or so I havent been able to go out and hang with friends or go to any events. I cant remember when's the last time i went out on a friday night hehe. If i do go out, its always by myself. I had a colonoscopy and an endoscopy done about two weeks ago and my doctor removed some polyps from my colon and i was hoping that would solve my problem but it didnt. My doctor recently informed me that this is something i will have to deal with for a long time(eternity) and thats not something i know how to handle. Ive missed a considerable amount of time from work b/c of D, the thought of D, the worry of accidently crapping my pants, what will people think if i go to the bathroom 6 times a shift. I dont get along with anyone in my family. I sit at home all day long waiting to go to the bathroom. Luckily my last day of work is in two weeks as i prepare for college. College, now thats what worries me. I'm sharing a room with someone else!!! Im sharing a bathroom with 16 other people!!! I will be so embarrassed. To think that i will be going back to sitting in classrooms and trying to hold it back is unbareable. Oh, and lets talk about the girl problems. How am i supposed to get a girlfriend knowing that she will know i go to the bathroom 5 times a day. Will she understand?? Maybe its my maturity or lack their of or maybe b/c its just all so new to me. I put a tremendous amount of pressure on myself to make something of my life but it seems as though im just screwing it up. I wish i could just live a normal life.







maybe someday i will get better but its a long shot. Why me? Why me?If anyone my age has any input or suggestions. Please reply or send me an IM on aol instant messenger. my name is dave72200. im always on except whenn im at work 8 hrs a day..help.


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## Kestrel (Dec 19, 2002)

Hey! Actually I'm totally w/ you on this. I was just diagnosed this week and went through a sigmoidoscopy (sp?) in the past couple of weeks as well. When I found out that I'd be dealing w/ all of this for the rest of my life I was just so depressed...probably didn't help that I was in the middle of an attack as well...icky...Anyways, just so you know it IS possible to have a great relationship and have IBS. My bf and I have been together for a year and half and he's been w/ me for all the procedures, pain and attacks. He totally supports everything I do and knows that I can't help it when I have to rush out of class or even miss class altogether. He's even willing to cut out lots of foods from his diet to make things easier for me....since I have to cut out lots of foods I LOVE! When I met him I was having severe attacks several times a week...and even tho I had to rush out to the washroom several times on our first dates he wasn't grossed out about it. Don't worry about going to lectures and stuff next semester either. I was living in rez and I found that my roomates and floormates were really understanding, even tho I wasn't sure what I had. They would wait for the washroom if I really needed it and made me tea and stuff when I was really down. Don't be too sad tho! I've been talking to people here on the msg board and they have lots of great things to say and things to try. They know what they're talking about so I'm gonna trust them







Merry Christmas to you tho! Hope that things start to look up after the holidays!Hugz,Kestrel


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## jennieb54143 (Jun 30, 2002)

i know where your comming from. I too have ibs. Im in pain alot of the time lately and am afraid to go back to school after break.... ick. alot of times im starving since im afraid to eat for fear of the D comming back


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## lindsay* (Jul 23, 2000)

i know it can be embarrassing.. but i think it's really important to tell your profs that you have ibs. you don't really have to give details, but just that it might cause you to be late, or need to leave in the middle of class, or whatever. they tend to be more understanding when they know that you aren't just skipping out. i've missed so much class.i lived in the dorms for 4 years total. two as a resident, and two as an RA. you'd be surpised how little people you dont know that well think about other's trips to the bathroom. it is still embarassing though. if i could, i usually would wait until i thought no one was in there. obviously that didn't happen very often. or i'd wait until people were in the shower, blow drying hair, etc. noise helps make you less obvious.my boyfriend is totally understanding too. we went to chicago over fall break and literally had to stop every 20 minutes or so for the first hour and a half. he didn't mind at all. in fact he askes if i need to stop. he's awesome! i had a boyfriend a few years ago though who was very annoyed with my ibs and with me for having it. i think he was more angry than i was when lotronex was taken away.as for my job, i work at two places.. one of which is sears. they have a convienient bathroom that has only one stall and the first door can be locked. i'm on commission, so the others don't think much of it. honestly, having a one stall bathroom was one of the reasons i wanted this job so much. that sounds so weird, but it's true.


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## cofaym (Dec 16, 2002)

I just graduated from college last June and spent all four years with IBS and panic attacks. Two of those years I also had a roommate and all four years I spent sharing a bathroom with about 20 other girls. I never did figure out how to deal with IBS, panic, and a social life so I wish you better luck than I had. I took myself to the mall on weekends so that I wouldn't disapoint anyone if I got sick while we were out. As for the relationship thing, that's your call, but I'd be honest. One of my close friends made comments about how often I used to bathroom and I would always get embarassed and tell him to shut up, but I think women tend to be more "understanding" about things like that. If you just need someone to chat with about life or college please feel free to e-mail me. I could use a friend too. Oh, I also agree that you should tell your professors before you get sick, they are usually very understanding and willing to work with you if you have to miss class or something. Good luck! elsolomio###yahoo.com


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## contraman (Nov 18, 2002)

Don't even worry yourself about the girl problems. If she's a mature, decent human being and she cares about you, she'll deal with quite a bit. I'm 26 and just got diagnosed last month, oddly enough, due to my current girlfriend mentioning "IBS", which I'd never heard of, as a possible explanation for the weird symptoms I was having (weird to HER - I've had them since 1st freaking grade).Anyway, I dated my first three girlfriends in college, while I still didn't know that I had a "syndrome" (like most things you just kind of assume it's normal and that everyone is dealing with the same thing). There were times when they were over and I was completely out of commision, and it would get so bad I had to take them home (I don't know about you, but when I'm struggling through some serious cramps I just want to be alone so I can roll around on the floor groaning in peace...no energy left to reassure them that it's nothing unusual). And of all the issues and problems in these four relationships (the many, MANY problems), my gastric distress was not one of them. I'm sure it's not always like this for everyone, and I have no clue about married life. But a relationship is certainly doable. Now finding girls like these can be a problem. I never did the whole fraternity/sorority random hookup thing (no offense meant to anyone who went through the Greek system...my exposure to it was limited and biased by the many bad examples I met). Or the flavor of the week system of dating. I pretty much sat on my butt complaining about being lonely until I met someone by chance and it really clicked. But in the end I think this works better because a person you click with in this fashion is much more likely to deal with things like IBS because they care. So now my girlfriend attempts to monitor my eating habits (a futile task), and I irrigate her ear canals for her! How romantic!Good luck in school...


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## Peony (Aug 27, 2002)

Many colleges have a disability plan, and with a doctor's note people with IBS can go on it. It's still not less embarassing when you walk in and out of class a million times, but the professor won't hold it against you.As for relationship stuff, I know where you're coming from. My boyfriend, though supportive, doesn't really understand, and can sometimes aggravate me so bad I'll just pull away for days. We were together long before IBS and colonoscopies, so it's been hard on him. I've found, in my case, many people our age are not supportive about it, and secretly think bad things about you. I know that might not help, but this is what I have found. I think this #### is horrible, but I guess it could always be worse. Our colonoscopies could have shown cancer, you know?Sorry if I sound crabby. I'm sleepy and I have to go to work.


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