# Chronic Illness, And Who To Talk To



## M&M (Jan 20, 2002)

This is courtesy of ImmuneSupport.com's "Tip Of The Day":


> quote:Relationships vary in tolerance and flexibility, tolerance for change, and the ability to survive the increased ongoing needs of an individual with a chronic illness. In close friendships, it is essential to discuss the impact of your present needs on the relationship. In more distant relationships, such in-depth discussions may strain relationship boundaries. Even though illness is a major factor in your life, you will need to make decisions about how much discussion of the illness is appropriate in each of your relationships.


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## Susan Purry (Nov 6, 2001)

That's so very true MrsM! I don't suppose you have the link so we can read the rest of the article? Relationships can be tricky to navigate as it is, it's a real pain having the extra issue of M.E/CFS of Fibro to deal with. I don't like to talk much about the M.E/CFS but realised this year that I have to talk about how it impacts on my daily life and the way I'll be in relationships out of fairness on the other person.


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## M&M (Jan 20, 2002)

I'm sorry Susan, I don't think there is an actual article. It's just a little email thing they send me everyday called "The Tip Of The Day". I looked on the website, and didn't find any other information about it. It's probably buried somewhere on ImmuneSupport.com if there is an article. It is tricky, very much so! I don't like to talk about my CFIDS either. When I'm with my friends, I like to pretend I'm normal for a little while. Fortunately, they understand I have some health problems, so I can just say "Sorry, I'm not feeling well tonight." But, it's important to have a few really close friends you actually CAN talk to about the specifics.


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## Susan Purry (Nov 6, 2001)

Ah, I forget the Tip of The Day format, sorry MrsM. I like to feel normal for a while, when I'm with friends too... I think that's important. Although a friend said to me yesterday 'I don't like to ask how you're feeling with the M.E., I don't want to annoy or offend you'. So I said 'ask away, don't worry, I'll soon let you know if you're being bothersome!'. It's nice when someone else expresses interest and cares about how you're feeling, as it gives you a little prod in the right direction of opening up.


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## M&M (Jan 20, 2002)

You're absolutely right Susan. It feels really good when someone asks (meaningfully) "How are you feeling today?" Or "How has your health been lately?"


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## christywisty (Mar 12, 2002)

That is so very true.


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## pinupgirl1948 (Aug 6, 2003)

It's the ones who say it casually and don't really want a response that's not a short answer that really annoy me.I would rather they don't ask at all then Not be meaningful.


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