# I'm a freaking worry wort!



## 19069 (Aug 30, 2005)

Just need to vent a bit. Thanks to anyone who cares to read on. ;-) I've had anxiety my whole life (probably just part of my genetic makeup). I do pretty well for myself, but tend to get stressed over things way more than most folks.I am working on decreasing anxiety through self hypnosis, relaxation, diet and exercise.Well, In early July I started up with IBS type symptoms. Over time, it got worse, and looks like maybe I might have Ulcerative colitis. I've had bloody diarrhea for the past 2 mos.Went to my internist, who did a sigmoidosopy last Friday. During the procedure, the pain became almost unbearable. I really was shocked at how badly it hurt, and was literally digging my fingernails into my palms trying to endure it. My doc stopped it, I found out today, because of my exteme discomfort. I was referred to a GI. Today at the GI he was nice, but kinda seemed to laugh at me because it seemed crystal clear to him that all my symptoms pointed to UC. I felt kind of like a big fat dummy, but maybe that's just me beating myself up again, which I tend to do.I was told the reason my sigmoidoscopy was stopped was because I was in so much pain. So, now I am going for a colonoscopy on Weds. They are getting me in early, so that if my case is mild we can treat it quickly and maybe I will get rid of it quickly. Maybe if I am really lucky, the imflammation will be minimal to none, according to the GI (I just started on rowasa for the inflammation).Well, worry wort that I am...I feel soooo bad for being such a wimp at the sigmoidoscopy! But honestly, usually I am pretty tough in regards to pain. It just really, really, hurt. I feel like I brought the colonoscopy on myself by not being able to tolerate the flex. sig. But part of me says who cares- at least this time they promise it will be pain free. I also happen to work at the hospital where they will do my test, so I am really embarassed! I worry about being under versed and saying something foolish and not remembering any of it! Yikes! I am worried about being recognized. I am such a control freak, so it scares me. My husband says I am a big fat worry-monger! LOL! My BP goes sky high in the doctors office (130/90 today) and I'm only 34 years old. However, it was back to 120/70 at the drug store 3 hours later. Must be my stressed out white coat hypertension... Geeez! I want to be cool about it all, but it is hard.My hubby helps by cracking so many jokes. It is really embarassing to be poked and prodded down there so much. And I guess I just need to forget about what other people think. So what what if I see coworkers and they know I have UC?! So someone gets to see my rear end and shove tubes up there...big whoop. LOL! I guess I gotta try and joke about it too, because my tendency is to worry about what-ifs and get upset aboutit all.


----------



## 21918 (May 16, 2005)

When I had to go for my first colonoscopy, I told so many butt jokes that I'm sure most of the people I told them to only laughed because they were uncomfortable. I think I wanted everyone to "feel my pain."







And actually I think I was quite funny. I probably could have done a 15 minute monologue.







Don't be hard on yourself, because you were unable to tolerate the sigmoidoscopy. I've assisted on a couple and I didn't like the way the doctor shoved that thing in even though the patient was crying.







Your Doctor probably should have scheduled you for the colonoscopy in the first place.


----------



## 19069 (Aug 30, 2005)

Slm- I'd love to hear some of those butt jokes! LOL! I bet you were a riot! I can already feel my sarcasm kicking into gear as a defense mechanism for the procedure. My hubby has some good jokes too...said he wants to be in the endo room with me to protect my "assets." LOL! I told him no way is he witnessing that procedure, but he is my designated driver.We have had some good jokes over the past few weeks over this stuff.







Thanks for telling me not to be hard on myself. I worry too much about what other people think of me (such as I wasn't tough enough or was too nervous or whatever).And then I can't relax. Sounds like you have been through this colonoscopy thing more than once? And you work in health care (doctor's office?) Hope your health is okay. I am still learning people's stories and names on here, so forgive me if you have already told me your story.


----------



## 21918 (May 16, 2005)

When I had surgery, it seemed like every doctor in town had examined my butt. I used to say that I could sit on the copy machine and then fax the picture to any medical office in town and get the same reply. "Oh, that's slm's butt."Most people on here are probaly tired of this story, but if you are interested in my history, here's a link: slm's history


----------



## 15534 (Aug 28, 2005)

Its the price we pay for highre conciousness. Blood pressure; If doctors did their job properly htey would allow you to take your own blood pressure at home at different times of the day and it does differ. Taking it whilst you are at the doctors is a complete waste of time. You live and learn.P.S. Only worry about things you can control and who really cares, deep down what others think. Do you judge others? No..and neither do most people. Doctors have seen it all before..that's why they are probably emotionless.


----------



## peardrops (Jan 3, 2004)

After many trips to the Dr to check my blood pressure, Dr decided to put me on blood pressure tabs. I monitor my own b/p by using one of those blood pressure monitors that fit onto your wrist. I still have to have it checked by the Dr but at least it gives me a good indication of what my b/p is.Happycamper - you are not alone in finding a sigmoidoscopy painful. I've had two of those tests. First one without sedation which was almost unbearable. This time round I insisted on sedation, it was a breeze! Don't remember a thing! I was with five other ladies on the day ward and was the only whimp who had sedation. Two of the other ladies said it really hurt and if they had to have it again would ask for sedation. The other three said it didn't hurt at all. Just shows how different we all are.


----------

