# Probably I'm creating more anxiety for me



## zayaka26 (Jul 5, 2001)

This might not be the place to post this, but here it goes.With all the thinking I did that I did not want to go back into teaching next August , I accepted to go work in a high school. First time for me, so this could be a stupid desicion after all. I was worried out of my mind last week because I knew it was going to be stressful (even more than elementary school) and a new challenge. But I need the money and I do not want to let pass this oportunity before I try it. What if it is much better and I really like it? After all, when I started studying education I wanted to teach in high school. And after so much efforts in college I owe this to myself, at least give it a try.My boyfriend talked to me and said to go for it and if I do not like it then just resign. I am going to do that. I have to keep on my mind that the one that has the control here is me and everything should be fine. Today I went to hand in some papers and I did not feel anxiuos which is great. The school is huge and intimidating but I will work on that. Plus, it is in another town so I will have to drive there.







Ok, not to worry too much I will start at 10:40 am so not much traffic around that time.I am excited in a good way but that brings on some stress too. I will stay calmed, I will stay calmed...


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## zayaka26 (Jul 5, 2001)

BTW, finally I fixed my computer.


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## eric (Jul 8, 1999)

Zay, glad you got the puter fixed.I think your doing the right thing with all this, it maybe stressful, but your also challenging yourself and that is a good thing and your going for it. Good for you!" keep on my mind that the one that has the control here is me and everything should be fine."This is very true. Good stress also like bad stress can be diruptive, if I have good stress like that I am as aware of it as bad stress and what it can do, so try to stay balanced and remember you are in control. Glad to hear your doing this, just thing a year ago today how much harder it would have been perhaps and how much better you are coping with things now.







You can do it!Congradulations.


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## norbert46 (Feb 20, 2001)

Zay, one little piece of advice that I think will complement your positive experiences with Mike's tapes. Our worrying and fretting and apprehension about doing things is a concious effort on our parts, we spend a lifetime "learning" to worry and expect the worse about most situations instead of looking at life as fun and a pleasing challenge! This practice is probably in many ways responsible for causing the subconcious mind to "cater" to our anxiety and eventually make our guts the "scapegoat"? On a concious level we can learn to quit worrying and stop obsessing and looking for the "black cloud" all the time and have fun in life! Dr. Bolen and others have books and assistance on this BB and another teriffic book/program that will greatly help you is one that I used several years back to overcome my constant gloom and doom personality. The book is "The Feeling Good Handbook" by Dr. David Burns. Make sure you get the handbook with all the exercises and logs to keep track of your progress. You can retrain your behavior/actions to quit the harmful habits of worry/anxiety/obsessing and negativity. NorbPS: Congratulations on the new job!


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## BQ (May 22, 2000)

Congrats on this position Zay!







I think it is only natural to have some concerns when starting a new position. I think you have a great idea in working on settling those concerns before the term begins. Working with older kids may be just the thing for you right now. Also glad that you don't have to be there so early! I'm excited for you! And yes, you are in control of the whole shebang, so good to keep that in mind.What subject will you be teaching?BQ


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## newlearner (Jun 7, 2001)

This sounds great to me. Imagine teaching older kids without all the silly nonsense that goes on in schools among elementary teachers and with the kids. I would think this would be alot more satisfying and I'd guess most of the students know they need to do their work and don't need all that bribing that little ones need. Again I find myself trying to go back only I want a different school. Wrote to the superintendent a month ago and have had no reply. I feel secondary teachers are more respected.


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## nmwinter (May 31, 2001)

congrats on getting the job. I think you have the right attitude too. You'l never know until you try if this is the right thing or not. Taking the job won't lock you in for a lifetime - if it doesn't work out, leave. At least you won't be wondering "what if." Plus, you've always sounded like you like teaching - just not all the other BS at the other school. This could be an entirely new situation!best of lucknancy


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## zayaka26 (Jul 5, 2001)

Hi. Thank you guys. Last Wednesday I woke up in the middle of the night having a terrible feeling about this whole thing. My heart was almost out of my chest and I was nauseaus with something that felt like the beginnings of a headache. As soon as I told myself that if this did not work I could just leave, everything disappeared. That is why I think I started having doubts. But now I am just excited. I talked to a friend who has IBS and he told me not to worry that it was going to be fine. His exact words were ï¿½ou'll never want to go back to younger children". His words made me feel better. Aparently everybody else around me thinks I will do a good job; it's just me who is having the doubts and I know I have to change that.newlearner, I do not remember you telling me which level you taught. You are right, for some reason secondary teachers have more advantages. That is not fair, but that is a common complain.eric, a year ago... no way! I would have not even think about accepting a job like this. It's like you always tell me that I am still changing and that is absolutely true. Now I still have to find ways to relax and control the anxiety but two good things have hapenned: first, I am able to control it better and medication free and second, the main symptom is the anxiety in itself not like before that it was the constant going to the bathroom and the ever present D. To me that is a big step.norb, yes I still obsess about stupid things. The difference is that now I recognize it, so I get out of the viciuos circle in better ways. That book sounds like a good idea. If you could tell me where to get it that would be nice.BQ, I am a music teacher. In fact, my degree is in Fine Arts, Music major for secondary school. I was prepared to teach elementary as well, but the system is not working for us in terms that we are in elementary just to cover some necesities, not for the right reasons. And the fact that I do not have to get up so early or just leave home so early is just an added bonus.nmwinter, I could not agree more: what if I did not do this? That would hunt me for the rest of my life.Thank you all for your support, I needed it really bad.


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## JeanG (Oct 20, 1999)

Congratulations, zayaka!







Change can be frightening, but what I've found out is that most of the time my imagination makes things worse than what they are. Just remember that all you have to do is one step at a time.I'm sure you'll do a fantastic job.







JeanG


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## BQ (May 22, 2000)

Hey Zay! Music huh? Great! Usually, here in the US, at the high school level, taking music is a choice, not a requirement. I hope it is the same there, cause it sure helps to teach someone who _wants_ to be there to learn.







Enjoy!BQ


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## zayaka26 (Jul 5, 2001)

I know Ph Ed is required. I never took music in high school bc we did not have a teacher (I did in jr high and it was my choice). I think now every student has to have one art class to graduate (music, corporal movement -has to do with dance-, teather or plastic arts). Jean G, that imagination that goes crazy from time to time is the same one that makes great things happen. Some people just work better under pressure.







For now, tiny steps.


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