# Here me out



## Debbielee (Jun 14, 2000)

This may sound odd but over the past almost year of my life being turned upside down---sometimes i hurt so bad and just feel sick, that i wonder is this really only FM?Is it cancer or some other devestating thing? Am i dieing?OK--i know--i said it was wierd. Maybe it is just that i have never dealt with anything Chronic before. Keep waiting for everything to go away---hummmmAnyone one else get feelings like this or am i just "off".Debbie


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## weener (Aug 15, 2000)

Debbielee, you are not off. I also get those feelings. I had those feelings at the beginning and I still get them. I seem to get overwhelmed with the thought that I must have some dreaded disease and that I'm dying. My old doctor always ran tests to appease me. The part I hated the most was they always said it was the fm. It was almost like they didn't want to run tests unless I insisted on it. Most of my tests came back okay. I usually get like this when I'm having a bad bout of fm and am getting no relief from the pain and fatigue. You are not alone in feeling this way.


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## Feisty (Aug 14, 2000)

Hi Debbie,You're not alone. I'm sitting here right now with the right side of my face flushed scarlet (cheek feels like it's been burned) and this god-awful migraine going into full burn; and, I'm thinking------why? There is not set trigger for me-----these headaches just come on all the time. I get very depressed some days and I get angry because it is taking my days and nights and weeks and months and years away from me !!!!!And then there's this Fibro THING. It was a beautiful, warm day here today and I decided to take a walk for. The down side is that no matter how slow or fast I walk, it isn't long before my feet hurt something terrible, and my muscles feel like they are being stabbed with hot knives; especially through the left shoulder, and neck. So, by the time I get back to the house, I'm asking myself why I even bothered to walk. I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. I'm sick of this SH-T! HAD IT!! DITTO !! WHATEVER!!! you know? Quality of life is no more. I'm so tired of putting on a friendly, happy, smiley face when I'd like to scream from the pain. Oh, and I look so good that noone would ever believe me anyway. I must be a hypocondriac or something, huh? The only time I look worn out is when the migraine pain is so unbearable that my face becomes extremely tired and drawn.Sorry. Your thread just appeared at such an opportune time. Take care.Karen


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## BOGGS (Apr 1, 2000)

Hi , I understand how you feel . I feel tha the fibro has turn my life up side down too . I have came to terms with the fact that I will have to deal with pain EVERYDAY for the rest of my life . At first I would not let it win . I would do so much that I would be in pain for 2 days . I now have learned how to pace my self on ANY work I do . My pain is not gone I just have started to learn more about it . Every time I push my self to hard I feel like I have the flu . I go to bed and start it all over again the next day . I just wanted you to know that we all go through the samething everday . This board is filled with great people that fully understand howd you feel . Take Care


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## Debbielee (Jun 14, 2000)

OK Good, im not crazy  That makes me feel better. However, sorry that others have to feel this way.Karen dont be sorry--if we cant vent here--then where?Guess i just have to get used to it still. just makes me so mad---everything i do has a painful price--the simplest things.I still do alot around here--my house---take care of my mom---help with the grandkids etc...and i dont always keep up with that. Last year at this time--i was doing that and working 2 jobs!It is just so unreal that at times I wonder if it is my head or worse--some hidden condition-- but no--just FM! Sheesh!Of corse--3 dr. who cant make up there mind about the Lyme :-(Go back to the dr. on fri.--this is the last time for awhile if i have anything to say about!Debbie


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## mamamia (Jan 21, 2000)

Debbie,I am so glad you brought up cancer. It seems to be everywhere and its seems that people are getting it younger and younger. Or is it just that we pay more attention to it??I am constantly worried that I must have something "more serious" than FM and IBS.Saturday was gorgeous and I felt horrible. I ended up sleeping for three hours IN BED!!I had soooooo much I wanted to do too.Yesterday, I was okay and today I'm pretty good, I'm at my accounting job. I get very, very scared on those bad days. I was going to discuss this "cancer" or "worse disease" fear with my Doctor, but I've been very anti-doctor feeling lately.We shall endure!!!!!!love, m-


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## Debbielee (Jun 14, 2000)

Im very anti-doctor right now.I go to my gp on fri. i am going to bring up all this stuff.Mama--did you get my last e-mail?Debbie


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## Nina M (Feb 10, 2001)

Oh God I'm so glad I read this post. I know exactly how you feel, everything going round and round in your head. Is it this, is it that, they must be missing something, something has to show up, maybe I should try this or try that, what can be doing this, I used to be so well & fit & healthy? Over & over again, round & round it goes. Sometmes you just need to say it to someone. You particularly want to say it someone who is supposed to know and can maybe answer your questions, like a doctor. Even more importantly is if they would just let you talk and voice your fears, uncertainty & concern. But no, most of them can't, they don't want to talk, they don't want to hear you, their too busy, busy, busy. God I've waited months for a procedure that I was so confident of and just as it is ready to go, what happens, I've had a total blow-out with the clinic nurse who takes you through and walked out. I just can't get on with this person, she's so bloody sharp you could cut yourself on her, can't listen, can't hear you, misinterprets everything that one says and I just couldn't take it any longer and let it all out. So now it's all off, at her suggestion, seems I'm obviously not ready for the procedure, in her opinion. So I told her to stuff it and left. Bastard that she is, it means nothing to her but a lot to me. Health professionals, what a joke!!! Don't even feel that I can go to the doctor now that I'm cast in the role of problem, time-wasting patient, he doesn't want to hear my complaints about his nurse. She's his right-hand thoroughly trained in procedure nurse in which he has every confidence. I'm just another patient. All I needed to do was just talk through all my fears and uncertainties, but it's too much of a bother for these so-called health professionals. I hope she gets hit with a bus!!! Better still I hope it happens to her one day and she has to put up with some abrupt officious 'health professional". Sorry, sorry, sorry but I was counting on this thing so much and now it's closed to me. This is the only clinic in the entire country trying this particular procedure.


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