# significant others



## star (Dec 7, 2000)

How do you find that your boyfriends/husbands are with dealing w/ your ibs? Does it bother them much? Are they supportive? Just wondering, star


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## Nat (Sep 29, 2001)

Star, the support I get comes and goes. There are days when my hubby tries to be as supportive as he can. There are others when he is just looking at me and saying "get on with it, all the tests are normal" or "it's been going on for six months now, I don't think that you'll ever get over it". I know he tries but now I prefer to come to this BB







and not to think out loud when it comes to my pain. I never thought my life would be so affected by IBS. It seems that I am always waiting: waiting fo feel better, waiting to be able to eat like I used to, waiting to be able to socialise again, waiting for the test results... and so on.Things could be worse... I could be on my own dealing with my situation and bringing up my two kids. Nobody's perfect, therefore, I don't expect my hubby to be perfect either. He is just trying to cope with this in his own way...Nat


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## shyra22f (May 9, 2000)

I feel very blessed that my boyfriend is so understanding/accepting. I had IBS for about 3 years before we started going out so it's not like it came about half through the relationship, he's always known me to be this way.We'll work things around my stomach though. If we have plans to go somewhere and all of a sudden I'm not feeling well he's perfectly fine with altering the plans to doing something that I'll feel more comfortable with.I'm just thankful that it's not a major stressor on our relationship. It sure takes a load off my back to know that I'm loved and accepted no matter what my bowels may decide to do at any given moment.. not only that but I think it says a lot about him


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## KarenP36 (May 24, 2001)

I think anyone who has a supportive friend or husband is very lucky. My husband was much more supportive before we were married. He has long been disgusted with my bowels messing up our plans, ones already made, and plans for the future. Back then though, they weren't quite as bad. We don't go out to eat. If we go fishing, we bring a port-a-potty, etc. At least he knows if we're driving and I tell him to hurry, HE KNOWS, that he MUST hurry!


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## Melissa V (Feb 7, 2001)

my hubbie has been supportive over the years (8?? already??) It took about 6 months for me to relax on a date at all and I was having constant D and panic attacks....and he still married me







. Right now I am very stressed and having trouble coping with life...this time of year and lack of sunlight is always bad for me....The depression and panic always seem to try and make a come back. I am trying VERY hard to hide this from him right now as he is sick himself...going through a variety of anti-depressants to deal with his own anxiety (his work SUCKS!!...constant upper respitory infections and stomach probs. It is very hard to not have him to lean on but I guess it is his turn







....I am kinda at a loss though of how to help him... Oh well..guess I will muddle through like always







Melissa


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## Coggie (Dec 28, 2000)

It helps when your husband suffers from a mild case of IBS, as mine does. He's way more healthy than me, though, and his accidents are tiny spots of rare occurrences.Besides that, he's a very sensitive, considerate, loving man who watches out for me. Sure, like anybody who's human, he gets frustrated, but that's more because he doesn't want me in pain or suffering in any way and gets pissed at IBS itself.I think he's already way patient, but my IBS condition increased that 100-fold.


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## webbsusa (Feb 1, 2001)

I'm convinced I have the best husband in the world!







he is supportive about everything, and IBS is no exception. Unfortunately, IBS definitely affects our sex life; it's hard to feel "in the mood" when my stomach is swollen and rock hard with C, or swollen and rumbling with gas and D. Mr. Webbsusa is very understanding about this. In fact, I would say this issue bothers me a lot more than him; my libido has always seemed to be stronger than his.







I will say this, though: I struggled with IBS for four years before I got the official diagnosis, and I get hemmies and fissures from the C. Those things have been going on for 11 years, though, even before the IBS started. Anyway, Mr. Webbsusa didn't used to understand just how bad hemmies and fissures are; I think he thought it was just a little C and I "just couldn't handle pain" (he had thought for a long time that I am a big wimp). Well, about four or five years ago he got a terrible hemmie. I forget what the medical term is, but he also developed a blood clot "up in there" (sorry to be so graphic). He had to go to the dr. and have it pulled out. This experience opened his eyes to just how bad these things are. I also think he's learned more about my pain tolerance. I had a breast reduction, which was a major, 3+ hour surgery, and I came through that with flying colors--the pain was only really bad the first two days after the surgery. I handled that surgery much more easily than he did his knee surgery, so I think that made him say, "Maybe she isn't such a wimp about pain--maybe her pain is just worse than anything I've experienced."I think having just a little taste of what I go through regularly and seeing that I can "handle pain" made him more sympathetic. But, he has also been pretty sensitive and loving about lots of things, medical and non-medical (like my going to grad school). He has always been far more understanding about my IBS than any members of my family (including my mom, who has a mild case of IBS) or anyone else, for that matter. He is just a great guy, overall.


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