# I need to reach out to someone.



## Radar (Jan 29, 2007)

I'm 53 years old and as far back as my memory goes I've held my feelings back. I've had IBS-D since I was around 12 I think.

I also have fibromyalgia and migraines and in 2007 I got Meningitis from West Nile Virus and since then have had chronic pain from that too. My diseased gallbladder was removed after years of pain from that. Then a year ago I had appendicitis while on vacation (such luck) and had it taken out too. In the past 5 years or so I've had almost constant problems with my gut. I get painful attacks in my right abdomen, the pain being as severe as my appendicitis was. Then my whole belly bloats up to a 9 month pregnant belly. When I get this my life stops. I can't even stand up and walk. This happens every couple of weeks. Then there is the diarrhea. This last bouts has lasted several weeks. I'm still in it. I saw a new Internist who thinks it might be Bile Acid Dumping, but he ordered stool cultures and several blood tests. I also had a normal CT scan, normal pelvic exam and 3 years ago a normal colonoscopy. So here is why I am reaching out. I need a virtual hug! Only you on this board I think understand what its like. I don't know if anxiety causes the diarrhea or if its the other way around...I think both. I just know that now I am constantly anxious and the last couple days I'm also extremely depressed. I'm on the verge of tears all the time. Emotionally I feel like an open wound. I'm not sure how my husband would be with me opening up to him because he's got so much of his own stress with his horrible job and frankly he just does not understand what its like to be afraid all the time. Its so hard do me to open myself up like to to anyone because in my childhood I was taught (from my mom mostly) no one wants to hear about your "feelings". I've become a master at hiding pain, physical OR emotional, and I know thats not good. I don't know how to stop that. It almost feels like a version of PTSD, like it snowballs to a place where I want to curl up in a ball in a dark closet and hide. I still have some hope that this new doctor can help me, but I'm afraid I'll never be able to get a handle on my own issues of anxiety and bottling up emotions. Also, I live in a very small town surrounded by more small towns and there aren't a lot of resources around here for counseling. I will look, but it is quite possible that the nearest CBT person could be 100 miles away.

Thank you for letting me get that off my chest. I needed a safe place to say what I'm feeling. Today is a really hard day.


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## nomorecookies (Oct 5, 2012)

Sending you a big internet hug!

I am only 25 and have been dealing with digestive issues since I was 10, but I understand your pain.

It is very frustrating! Dr. can't help us. We try every cure with no results.

What we have is no life at all.

I hope you find in this community the comfort you need.

Hang in there!!!!


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## rockingirl (Jan 10, 2008)

I'm in that same state right now too







Crying all the time. *hug*


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