# New member - Detroit, Michigan



## magnolia7 (Nov 5, 2002)

Thanks for this support board. I'm also going to be looking for a group in my area.I have anxiety, depression, and depersonalization and am on a number of psychiatric medications. Lamictal, Celxa, and Klonopin. All of these meds have helped with my worst symptom, the depersonalization which is like feeling in a dream all the time. (I have been on psychiatric meds since the age of 16, and ill since a child with anxiety and depression).I'm almost 44. Around 1996? I started having IBS, but under strange circumstances. It started only when I was living in another state and came back to my home state to visit my mother in a nursing home. My mother and I had always had a poor relationship. She had Alzheimer's and though her memory was awful, her personality remained for some time. I did feel resentment visiting her, but felt it was an obligation. She died 9/12/01 of all things.What was odd was the moment the plane took off from L.A. I would get IBS symptoms.... they would last all the while I was in Detroit, and then would leave when I returned to L.A.Over time, this escalated from not just visiting my mother, but to visiting friends. It also happened on vacations..... just leaving home and then it went away upon my return.Now it has expanded to include friends' visits to MY home.I have seen a number of doctors about this, and the consensus is that it is clearly stress related. I've had a full gastro workup, and I was briefly on that med that was pulled from the market. It did NOTHING. And supposedly SSRIs are helpful, but I'm already on Celexa and have been on other SSRIs in the past. The gastro said literally, "You are the most stressed out person I've seen, I can't do anything for you." He was kind, he was honest.I am so angry, as I just got back from what would have been a lovely visit with a college friend and her family. And the IBS was BAD. Of course, returning home, it's getting better.I fear this will escalate into all stressful activities. I haven't worked since 1994 due to my depression and anxiety, but I would like to go back to work. Now this.Actually I'm afraid this will escalate to become part of my life. Ironically my worst symptom of depersonalization is improving. Then another part of my body gets into the action.I haven't searched the site here, so this is probably old news. But I'm scared. I'm just starting a new life, and now this. It is clearly stress, my mind. And I am a very outgoing person underneath all of this.Again thank you for this support forum.I will be looking for support groups in the Detroit area, but I'm glad for now I have some anonymity. I feel shame, and I can't explain this to people. I thought it was difficult enough explaining depersonalization, panic, depression.Best,M


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## trbell (Nov 1, 2000)

have you ever seen a good therapist? that might help with the stress.tom


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## magnolia7 (Nov 5, 2002)

Dear Tom,Thanks for the response. I'm laughing because, my mother was a crazy psychiatrist! Also, I have seen psychiatrists since I was 16.I had an excellent psychopharmacologist in L.A. from 1994 to 2001 (I moved back to Michigan last year). He tried everything to help with all of my psychiatric probs.Also was in CBT from 1999-2001. That helped a lot again with my coping skills re: negative thinking, etc. But nothing has helped this stress-related IBS.I now see a psychiatrist ever 3 months for meds monitoring. It's difficult connecting with a good therapist and I'm sort of tired of years of therapy. I believe I have two sets of problems...clearly medical, my anxiety/depression, etc.and psychological due to a really nutty family.The IBS is clearly stress related, but as I said, I'm having no luck with CBT. I think I need to be extremely agressive in dealing with this.I have been changing my diet, doing Yoga,etc. Odd thing though. This problem happens only when visiting, traveling, or having visitors. No other time. And it is isolating me more and more.Best,M


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## trbell (Nov 1, 2000)

I asked about a therapist, not a psychiatrist. I don[t want to get into a thing here, but many psychiatrists are not trained in therapy. In my experience some 'get' CBT by reading a book, but many don't 'get' it without seeing a therapist.tom


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## magnolia7 (Nov 5, 2002)

Dear Tom,Yes, as I said, I saw a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist from 1999-2001, she was wonderful. We worked on many things including the IBS symptoms, but the IBS has been extremely difficult to deal with.I realize I need to go back to see one. But I find shopping for a decent CBT a daunting task. Finding a decent psychiatrist has been difficult over the years. I just moved back to this area last year and don't like my psychiatrist/medicine dispenser.Just curious, does anyone have this same problem. Very isolated. Having strictly to do with visits? I'm sure I'm not alone.Sorry to barge in with all of this.I am definitely looking for a support group w/anxiety as I know many w/anxiety also have IBS.... at least those on my DP support board there are a number w/anxiety/DP who also haveIBS in various forms.Thanks,M


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## AntonioRI (Sep 30, 2002)

Magnolia, My IBS gets the most severe if I go to visit someone or if someone comes to visit me - except my parents. Even with them, though, I get some attacks. Try to relax and concentrate your thoughts somewhere when visiting. I have found recently that if I try to feel my heart beating (not with my hand, just feel it from within my chest) and my lungs filling and emptying, it really diminishes my symptoms. Try it sometime! Goodluck!


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## magnolia7 (Nov 5, 2002)

Dear Antonio,Thank you! You don't know how good it feels... well I suppose you all do, to have people that understand.It is so surprising to see how common this is, and yet how I suppose has a lot of stigma attached.Feels good to not be alone. I don't want this to limit my life. Anxiety, anything. Life is too short!Again Thanks,M


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## AntonioRI (Sep 30, 2002)

Don't let it limit your life! I know it sounds silly, but whenever I start feeling like laying down to die from this I start singing (sometimes in my head, sometimes not) an old 80's song called Never Surrender. And that's my motto -- I will fight until I die and after that I can lay down my weapons at the feet of my savior and fall blissfully into his peace!Sending you Love, Encourgement, and Strength!


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## nmwinter (May 31, 2001)

HiI don't think associating IBS with certain things like traveling or visits is at all unusual. You started on a visit to see your mom so your mind thinks that all visits could cause trouble and now it's a self fulfilling prophesy. For me, air travel is like this. I once got sick just before flying. NOw that 20 minutes during take off and the 20 during landing when you are not allowed to get out of your seat - well let's just say it's my own strange fear of flying. Well at least it was until I came here and heard other similar fears.I'm working on hypnotherapy to try to break these associations. Some luck although I've slacked off lately. good luck and welcome to the board. I hope you find someone in Detroit. meanwhile, you always have us







nancyp.s. thanks antonio for putting that song in my head


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