# Got 2nd opinion on hist, very confused now



## 143Angel (Jun 4, 2001)

For my 2nd opinion on hist surgery I went to an Internal Med Doc that found the mass in my breast in 1999. I trust him alot, and he is one of the few Doc's that doesn't treat me like a number. He had patients backed up but somehow let me in. I was so depressed and couldn't stop crying. The Doc sat down with me and went over everything in my med file. He also got copies of the tests and notes from my Gyn Doc and my gastro Doc. He said "even though I am only 35 my body on the inside is about 10 to 15 years older than I am (I beat up my body for 10 years in the Army and my joints are now paying the price) and everything seems to point having a hist surgery. I never thought that my female organs would cause D all the time and make my resistants from viruses and everything so low. I've never had pain before or during my period until the "IBS" started last March. I've also been so moody and quick to anger around the PMS time. This is not me, I've never had these types of problems before. I've had all my children (4) and can't have anymore unless I am on bed rest during the full pregnancy. I don't know why this is bothering me so bad. When I had a double massectomy I just excepted it. A little afraid but I was never had large breast to begin with, I got reconstruction (told the doc to make me like I was before I had 4 kids)which was no big deal and no one could tell that I had anything done. I guess removing my female organs makes me feel like I am less than a woman. I don't know, I just want to feel better and stop catching everything that comes around and to top in off with IBS attacks.







Donna


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## 143Angel (Jun 4, 2001)

Oh, I forgot to add that to top everything off I now have a yeast infection. I usually only get that if I've been taking antibiodics. (also about beating myself up in the Army, that was just the training and missions I did, I don't smoke or drink, which alot of people think is the norm when they think of military)Donna


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## shadow (Nov 30, 2000)

I think watt you are feeling is probably natural -- we want to keep the body parts we were born with and feel if we are missing anything related to sexuality or reproduction we are less of a man or woman. But you're not, and I think in time you will realize that. Why does the surgeon want the hysterectomy?


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## 143Angel (Jun 4, 2001)

Hey, I think your right about the sexuality issue. Im already missing "real" breast. I am comfortable with my new ones, they look real, but don't feel real. I don't have any since of touch. I am scared that I won't have any,... it won't be the same when my husband and I make love, that I won't be able to have the same feelings any more.You asked why my Doc said I need a Hyst. These are the things both Doc's pointed out. Well, first of all I gave birth to 4 children, which made my uterus not be where it supposed to be, laying on my bladder. I have had alot of problems with incon of bladder,(I have gotten used to it, bracing myself if I sneeze, cough or laugh). I've had cysts on my ovaries over the years. Alot of infections, IBS symptoms match the same symptoms as endo. I am seeming to catch every illness that comes around. And now since March, I have bad cramps with period and have PMS. Never had PMS before, never cramps with Period. Even though most people tell be it comes with the package of being a woman.







It's not me. I've warned my Admin. Asst. that if I come from a meeting or leave the office saying I'm going to quit, to expect me in the next day.I wont be thinking rationally during PMS time. And after anything sad on TV even comercials, or someone raises their voice to me I will cry at a drop of a hat. This is very odd for me. I was a Military Police officer for 10 years and a Civilian Police officer since 1996. I've seen alot of awful things and have always been able to control my feelings. Now I can't. My husband now wants me to get a 3rd opinion.







I just want to be well again.Donna


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## moldie (Sep 25, 1999)

Donna, Please read my endo reply on that post. I don't know whether or not that is the problem you have, but it might be part of it. About feeling less "female", I do not since my hysterectomy. That doesn't mean you will feel the same way. I actually feel more sexually free than I did when I had a uterus. I kept one good ovary (although a cyst has been since seen on it). I can't tell you which way to go there. I certainly am free of the awful dysmenorrhea (painful menses) problem that I had since I first got my period. That is a definite plus. I was not comfortable medicating for each and every problem because I felt meds are what helped to screw me up in the first place. I will tell you also that my bladder was supposedly "tipped". It was not mentioned that my stress incontinence was because of my uterus though. I still have stress incontience post uterine removal, so that made no difference. I think that has more to do of loss of muscle tone than anything else. Doing Kegal exercise might be helpful for this. Whatever you decide (and I know it is a tough one - I recall myself pacing in the waiting room trying to decide this by myself). Remember that the physical part of you is just a shell to the spiritual being you truly are. If your husband truly believes this too, it shouldn't matter to him one way or another. Even though I was married, I knew this was a decision I had to make for myself since it was my body. Does your husband react different to you since the breast reconstruction? I will bet you anything that my husband thinks I'm a better lover now than I used to be, although he probably would like it a little more often (wouldn't they all?)







I used to give twice a week when I was younger, but now that I am older, I feel like once a week is enough.


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## 143Angel (Jun 4, 2001)

Thank you for your post. I guess I am scared of what my husband will be like after the operation. He supported me well before my double massectomy, saying "Babe I didn't marry you for your Breast, I married you for your money" (don't have any). After the massectomy he wasn't very tallorable of being around me. But when I was healed he acted normal around me again. He is so stand-offist if I am sick (which has been alot this year), if I miss work he gets upset, if I put off something because of illness he gets upset. I have brought this to his attention and he denies it. I think I am afraid of being home after a operation and he treating me like I have the plague. I have talked to my Mom and Mom-inlaw, and they said don't worry about him and focus on yourself. It is hard to do that when you are also focused on caring for your family (4 kids), job, etc. And we're trying to get a house built. I don't know. I'm just going to have to corner him and talk again until he understands.ThanksDonna


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