# How do you deal when there is NO BATHROOM!



## tmar89 (Apr 11, 2004)

My biggest "trigger" for IBS is not having that safety of knowing I can go to the bathroom whenever I want. For instance, I will get worked up whenever I have to go somewhere and: 1- I don't know if there will be a bathroom there. 2- There is a bathroom however I will be doing something where I won't be able to access to the bathoom very easily like playing sports. 3- There is no bathroom at all!For each scenario listed above, I'll give a few examples of what I mean and I would like to hear how people deal in this scenario or could give me advice about how to deal. For #1, "not knowing", whenever my friends want to go out to a club or a bar. I never can tell if the bathroom will be there, and if it is there will it be available whenever I need, will there be toilet paper, will there even be a private toilet. And what happens if I am somewhere and that urgency occurs. What do I do?? What if I didn't drive there on my own? I can't leave. And it's late at night so there is nothing open around the place usually for me to run into. For #2, "not accessible", whenever I have an ice hockey game or go to my Taekwondo class. When I play ice hockey, I am on the bench for over an hour and its important for me to be there. I can't just get up and go to the bathroom whenever I want because it will disrupt the team. So I work myself up before a game wondering if it will ever happen. And with Taekwondo, we are not allowed to use the bathroom for the hour we are training. So I just don't go whenever I feel a tad bit "not empty" in fear of having to go and not being able to get off the floor.For #3, "no bathroom", the beach! I fear the beach because its a large open area with usually no bathrooms anywhere. What do I do?!? I want to go spend the whole day on the beach but I know I would most likely have a BM during the day at some point. These are a few scenarios I work up in my head alot and I would like some advice about how to deal with it because its what makes my IBS so difficult to deal with! Thanks!


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## Steve H. (May 25, 2004)

Hi. I just joined this list and your's was the first post that caught my eye! It's good (?) to know I'm not alone, and your concerns have been a part of my life for 54 years ! The worst part of my situation is the nervousness that comes from the "what if I can't hold it syndrome". Worrying about that is a big part of the problem and I have noticed that the symptoms decrease if I feel comfortable that an available washroom is at hand. I do always carry paper in my car, and a wad of kleenex when I walk our dogs. I try to avoid "dangerous" (no toilet) areas when I feel at all concerned, and will abort activities as soon as I feel that dreaded discomfort. My wife has grown used to all this and we joke that our lives are ruled by my bum ! I've visited almost every clump of forest nearby at some time ! I guess there is a risk in venturing out with these worries, but I try to not let it get the better of me. I try to schedule stressful activities in the afternoon, as mornings seem more commonly uncomfortable. I avoid coffee if I'm in a public place. I arrive at the airport WAY early and make multiple visits before getting on a plane. I also avoid eating if I have to fly or drive in the morning. I just started an anti depressent, called Celexa, that I hear may help with the paranoia all this causes me. It's too soon to tell if it will work, but I feel as you do, and, frankly, I'm tired of it. Please keep in touch, and I admire your openness witha difficult subject.Regards, Steve in British Columbia, Canada


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## peardrops (Jan 3, 2004)

I can relate to both of you. The fear of needing to "go" sort of builds up into a phobia. Sometimes I dread going anywhere. No wonder we develop this fear, when you have IBS and need to go there is no delaying it! The brain and the gut are definitely connected. If I didn't have this urgency and pain I wouldn't be anxious. For the trips I have to make, I'm careful what I eat beforehand and take lomotil. I find I'm better if I'm in control of the driving - maybe if I'm driving it takes my mind off the IBS issues.Good luck to both of you - at least you know you are not alone in this!


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## tmar89 (Apr 11, 2004)

I always want to be the one to drive. It may just be because I lack control concerning IBS so I demand it in the car. I can related to both of you and how I plan my day around my IBS but I want to go back to those days when it wasn't a concern and I could just do "anything" and eat whenever I want without fear. It's tiresome and difficult to deal with and I know that I will be better in the future. I am on day 22 of the IBS Audio Program 100 and its starting to crack through a bit. I'm still basically in the "intro" phase but hopefully by next week the guts (no pun intended) of the program will come out. I'd love to hear from more of you and especially those who have beaten this and can share positive stories about what to do in their worst case scenarios.


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## Jennifer7 (Nov 13, 2000)

I don't think I can help with scenarios 2 & 3, but for 1 - I carry a JIC (just-in-case) pouch in my purse. It contains a pad, pair of underwear, & a clean-wipe. I've never had to use it. I also carry Kleenex in my purse in case they don't have toilet paper. Also, if I'm in a new place, the first thing I do is scope out the bathroom. Ask where it is if you have to. Then go check it out. You'll have all your questions answered & if you have to go you won't have to ask & can make a mad dash.


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## tmar89 (Apr 11, 2004)

Jennifer7,Some good stuff there! In my car I have a roll of toilet paper and a few bags just in case. And I also have never needed to use it. And when I go somewhere, the first thing I do is locate the bathroom, but I don't go and check it out. I prefer to be at least assured that there "is" a bathroom. I rather not go and check it out and then find out that there is no private toilet or toilet paper and freak out the rest of the time. Thanks for your reply!


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## BBDM (Oct 17, 2003)

I can certainly relate to that and have another to add as well. I have this horrible fear when I go out that my car breaks down and I'm not near any gas station or other place that might have a restroom. I had this happen to me one time, and I still worry it may happen again. Luckily I had my cell phone with me. I called to have my car towed then I called a cab(lucky they are fast here in Toronto). I got home just in time.It's amazing what so many people take for granted in their day unless they have IBS. I could never take public transit because of this, especially the subway because not all the stops have bathrooms(makes no sense to me).I always worry about restaurants in case there aren't enough stalls or the embarrassment of others being in the washroom if I need to go. I never go to a restaurant when it's expected to be busy. If we find it busy when we get there, we just get the food to take home. Movie theatres are great ones for bathrooms though, huge bathrooms, some have couches and chairs! LOL!! They must know people with IBS because as soon as I've had a bit of popcorn and a drink I'm running to the bathroom!!I love where my husband plays baseball, they have a little clubhouse and bathrooms with tons of stalls!!!Steve: my husband is fresh from BC and it gives me cramps just to think of the long hours at a time he drove when he was moving out here. He has a new appreciation of what I consider a long drive!!


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## Steve H. (May 25, 2004)

I have the perfect travel solution: tow a trailer with a bathroom ! You have NO idea how comforting it is to know your private refuge is just 23' behind you ! As we only camp a certain number of days each year, this is obviously impractical. Although IBS has been one of the curses of my life, my wife and I do try to see some humour in my affliction. I've seen many scenarios where I said "hey..look at that, my dream ", or "how about if....". For example: a pick up towing a flat bed full of Johnny On The Spots, an old toilet with flowers in it on a front lawn ( dig the thorns out first), a car seat made with a porta potty, an Express Lane to the stalls, just for IBS guys ( must wear identification)or, for those really dangerous situations, rubber hip waders ! I have an old record of rude English songs by Ivor Biggun. One has a line "you'd be glum,if you had my bum "! That's my theme song ! On a serious note, as this is only day two on this list for me, I am finding it strangely soothing to realize that what I've always considered my personal weirdness, is a common affliction. I hope my light hearted attempts at humour don't offend.Steve


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## tmar89 (Apr 11, 2004)

Great stuff!! Sharon's zoo, I relate to you in many ways! I love going out to eat and generally I am cool with it because I know restaurants have bathrooms but I do fear if there is only one stall or just the embarrassment of leaving my date for what she considers more than enough time to just pee. I get embarrassed when I have an unexpected BM. I guess its why I've become such a great cook, I want my dates to stay home with me however I tend to have pretty bad IBS when I'm home with company. Maybe I just feel embarrassed to have a BM when people are waiting on me. I love the movies! I know I'm safe in the theatre because its dark, I could leave at any moment to go to the bathroom and they are usually large. We IBS'ers sure have the world mapped out with little 'B' for Bathroom signs!!


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## BBDM (Oct 17, 2003)

I've actually considered getting a porta potty for our truck!! I love to camp, and so does my husband, but I don't go anywhere where there isn't a "comfort station", I don't like outhouses. After we move we plan to get a travel trailer for camping so we can always pull off to the side of the road. There's nothing more gross when camping then when it rains and you have to trudge through mud in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom!! Camping isn't generally IBS friendly!!


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## kac123 (Aug 2, 2002)

Hi! What has helped me to deal with this sort of anxiety is listening to Mike's Tapes a.k.a the IBS Audio program 100. These tapes are the best thing i've ever done for my IBS and they have given me back the control that I thought i had lost forever. These tapes are not a cure, but things aren't as scary as they used to be. I use these and some very basic biofeedback stress relief type techniques and I can function relatively normally and a lot better than i could before the tapes. Even though I still am more comfortable knowing where a bathroom is in all situations, now if I am in an uncomfortable situation, I can now calm myself down enough that I can usually hold it together until I do find a bathroom.A few tricks in addition to the tapes:a. Borders, Starbucks, and 99% of grocery stores all have usable bathrooms and exist everywhere.b. For your beach issue the best way i've gotten around this is by always staying at hotels that are right ON the beach - walk out the back door and you are walking on sand - need to use the bathroom, walk right back to your room. c. When clubbing, drive yourself - dont' be the designated driver - that can only lead to problems if you really have to leave.d. When driving on trips - leave either really early or really late to avoid traffic. Doing this helps my nerves, and its pretty good for the road rage i've developed as well!e. I carry "emergency drugs" - extra bentyl, pepto and immodium just in case. Just knowing that I have these if i need them is a relief.I recommend giving the tapes a try - I'd be happy to answer any questions about the experience i've had with them.Hope you are doing well today!kac


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## SpAsMaN* (May 11, 2002)

-A kleenex box is a must.Sometimes i would pay 20$ a box in a emergency case.-TRACK THE TOLETTS!,just in case you have to go.-I hope you dosen't have to pay for it.I saw that in USA one time.Not funny at all.


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## NancyCat (Jul 16, 1999)

I always keep a 4 pack of tp in the back of my car for such emergencies. When my son sprained his ankle he used it to rest his leg on. I carry an emergency small pack of baby wipes and an xtra pair of panties if I'm going somewhere unfamiliar. I have "shy bowels" so even if I've gotta go so far I've been able to wait to get to a bathroom. I prefer to do the driving if I'm with several people.


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## Emmab2003 (Apr 22, 2004)

I had to chime in, I thought I was the only one!Today I went to my friend's to feed the dogs. I had my car keys in her house, and her front door keys inside too.I pulled the slding glass patio door shut behind me, and I was locked in the backyard. I had to figure out how to climb her wall, and then I had to walk home (because my keys were in her house). Then I had to climb my back wall, because I only had one door open and it was around back.This about triggered an instant attack for me (Like the time we lost our car in the Sea World parking lot--instant urgency.)I constantly look for the restroom as soon as I enter a restaurant. I wont shop at grocery stores where there is no public restroom, and I refuse to go places where there is none at all. My husband wanted to go to a street fair when we were on vacation a few weeks ago. I wouldnt go, and I had to nicely tell him why. I dont like boarding airplanes either--you never know when you will be stuck on a runway waiting to take-off.And like some of you, I prefer to be driving myself places in case I need to stop.I never realized other people feel like I do, I never really focused in on this problem as being IBS, but it most certainly is. For me it goes along with the panic attacks I used to have. I dont think there is much difference.


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## divarita (Jan 12, 2003)

I totally understand you there. I was in Hawaii and went on the boat out to the AZ Memorial and about died before hand. I have to keep telling myself it's all mental and I'm fine. I'm always fine on airplanes because there is a bathroom. I'm usually ok in cars too because worst case scenario I know I could just pull over to the side of the road. Die of embarassment but still... nothing is worse than being on a boat with a bunch of people. Yes Starbucks and grocery stores have been my friends many times.


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## Emmab2003 (Apr 22, 2004)

But just try getting on a plane and being told one of the bathrooms is out of order and only one is working.eeesh.


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## Homebound (Jan 27, 2000)

YES!! I am the same way. It isn't all in the head, but boy does the head play a big role in attacks.I remember being at a store recently. My son had to go to the bathroom. So we go over there, and I see that the ladies room is out of order. It was right away that the cramping started in. I was perfectly fine before that. I couldn't believe how the anxiety of knowing I had no bathroom trigged an attack. Luckily I was able to calm myself out of that one. Next week were going on vacation. It's a 10 hour drive. With lots and lots of NOTHING. Yeah that is hard too. If I could get the anxiety and emotions under control I'd bet I'd be 75% cured!


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## tmar89 (Apr 11, 2004)

I'm usually OK on planes myself. I know there is a bathroom and its there for me in case I need. I'm more worried about vomitting than getting a BM on a plane so the worst of the two usually takes precedence.The beach scenario is a good one. The problem with that is most of my friends just want to go for a day trip and I'm worried that there won't be any bathrooms in site. If I could have it all my way, I'd buy a house on the beach







The IBS Audio Program 100 is pretty good so far but being into day 24 or so, I'm starting to get impatient. I've been listening to the same two sessions over and over as the directions say and I'm eager to move on. Luckily this Sunday will be Session 3 and it supposidly hits IBS pretty hard from a biological point of view. Hope that helps!Good advice! Keep the stories coming! No one is alone here. We've all some time or another have experienced what most of you have gone through


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## kac123 (Aug 2, 2002)

Hey - Not staying at the beach overnight does require some research. Find a hotel on the beach that has a bathroom in the lobby (some of them do) - then just use that and if anyone asks just make up a room number! Works like a charm







If thats not an option, find a spot on the beach in front of a pizza place/resturant on the boardwalk. To get past the hostess just tell her you're meeting a group seated in the back (there's always someone sitting in the resturant). I've done this many times - and these bathrooms are soo much nicer than the block of bathrooms they have elsewhere on the boardwalk with their dimly lit stalls and perpetually wet floors.... Give the tapes some time - you've still got a little ways to go. I was always excited about moving to the next session too. And for what its worth, Session three had a big impact on me.-kac


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## GRZ (May 22, 2004)

I always have to ask for an aisle seat on airplanes. Usually more becaues I often need to go "number 1" a lot (which it looks like is a fairly common side affect of IBS), even though I only get D like twice a month.Nothing more annoying than having to ask 2 people to get up to let you out every 30 minutes. Oy.


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## tmar89 (Apr 11, 2004)

yeah I always ask for an aisle seat myself just in case. I don't want to be bothering people in the row. Some good ideas about the beach! I'm very comfortable going to beaches when I know there are boardwarks and bathrooms. As long as its there. However, here's a tough situation. I'm at the beach. Its off a road, there is no boardwalk or porta-potties and I get an urge to go. What do I do? There is no bathroom in site. And I can't hold it. What would you do?


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## kac123 (Aug 2, 2002)

You take a deep breath in, deep breath out. Look to a friend that is understanding of the situation. Tell the friend that you will be back shortly. Calmly walk to the car while telling your body to settle down. Get in the car and drive like hell to the nearest facility. Then return to the beach







I know easier said than done - but this is what I tell myself when i'm going to be in a situation like this. Sometimes it works, sometimes i need to pop a pill or two till i can get somewhere. There used to be a guy on here that stashed some Depends in his car for that sort of emergency - said that he never had to use them, but just knowing he had an "out" if he needed it calmed him down. I don't know if i could comfortably go to these secluded beaches though. I like having an "out".







kac


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## Emmab2003 (Apr 22, 2004)

GRZ: Really, is that true about #1 being a side effect? I have more in common here than I thought.Also, what tapes are you talking about?


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## missC (Oct 16, 2002)

wouldn't ANYBODY have problems on a ten-hour drive? i mean the bladder alone - there has to be a discussion surely - 'don't drink that, we've got ten hours before the next decent loo' etc. for me the duration is a big factor - i'm fine on a two-hour flight, but anything over three hours is pushing it - i start to tense up and hype myself into symptoms.


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## kac123 (Aug 2, 2002)

Emmab - the tapes are the IBS AudioProgram 100www.ibsaudioprogram.comThese are also known as Mike's Tapes on the board.They are a set of hypnotherapy tapes that are specifically for IBS. The gut-directed approach is put together by an english hypnotherapist (Mike, who has a fabulous english accent on the tapes i might add). There are 6 sessions and you listen to them over 100 days according to the calendar that comes with the CDs/Tapes. I laughed off the idea of hypnotherapy for a long time until I started to understand the science behind it. Its definitely worth a try - there are no pills, no scary side effects, you can listen to them at any relaxing time (i listened while falling asleep at night), and they help you relax. I recommend the program completely.For more info jump down to the Hypnotherapyp forum.-kac


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## Jennifer7 (Nov 13, 2000)

We had a trailer so I could get away from the house. Then a couple of years ago we ran into some killer downburst winds, which grabbed the trailer & flipped it & our Expedition. Of course both were totalled. We didn't replace the trailer. But the thing is that when it happened it was extremely scarey. We had to be rescued from the vehicle (long story) and then we had to sit & wait for a long time & be checked out by the EMT & of course I started panicking. We were told there were tornadoes in the area. But I was able to hold on until we were taken to a small town burger place where I was able to use the bathroom. Whew!


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## mirandafox (Apr 25, 2004)

ummm, well, if you're at a secluded beach with no restrooms....you could go where the fish go!


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## Emmab2003 (Apr 22, 2004)

Thanks for the info on the tapes.You see, today my hubby had an incident that would have destroyed me. He was at a 7-11 buying something, and he got hit from something he ate for breakfast. He had to beg to use the restroom and then had all sorts of trouble getting to use it (people knocking on the door etc.) I would have been bothered by that for days, he simply shrugged it off.That must be the difference.


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## Homebound (Jan 27, 2000)

"wouldn't ANYBODY have problems on a ten-hour drive? i mean the bladder alone - there has to be a discussion surely - 'don't drink that, we've got ten hours before the next decent loo' etc. for me the duration is a big factor - i'm fine on a two-hour flight, but anything over three hours is pushing it - i start to tense up and hype myself into symptoms."Yes that's exactly me!! I know it's quite impossible but I'd love to just drive the 10 hours without ever stopping too. Seems like when we pull off the freeway, even stopping for gas, it starts the thoughts of "do I have to go? Then of course the pain sets in. "UGH!! LOL It's so annoying. Then my family needs to eat obviously. Thankfully they are fine with getting McDonalds and eating it in the car while I drive. LOL By the time we get there I'm starved. Which then I'll eat (in the hotel room!) then most likely get sick because I hadn't ate all day. It's such a messed up way to live!


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## Elariel (Jan 1, 1999)

if there's no bathroom, i dont go







unless it's for a short time and i know i can make it. as for someone 'not allowing' you to go to the bathroom, they could bite me. *everyone* at one time or another is going to have an emergency. i'd say just go when you gotta.. they'll deal with it.. and if they kick you out, i'd say time to find another class!!


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## Oceansmist (May 30, 2004)

Boy i can sure relate like all of these other folks here. I am always worring about not having a private bathroom to use. But for me, the worrying just brings on Panic attacks which in turn make my IBS 10 times worse..oh boy.whenever i'm out, I make sure i know the area or at least have time to look it over. Then i can make sure i will be able to make it to the bathroom if need be. I think keeping a food diary is a terrific way to find out if certain foods are bringing on the IBS.Good luckmary


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## Callisto2 (May 30, 2004)

It's so nice to not be going through this alone. I have a huge problem going to new places and not knowing if there is a bathroom around. I am always on the lookut for bushes and things if I am on the road.


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## Guest (May 31, 2004)

It is always a relief to read all of these tales. I dislocated a finger and popped it back in myself. The people with me were just amazed that I did it without taking any drugs or using ice.Little did they know that the bigger fear for me was the rumble that I had in my stomach. I just knew that if I didn't fix my hand I wouldn't be able to leave and get to the toilet in time.For me I have always known that the majority of the issue is mental. I have a decent idea of what my food triggers are and usually have a sense of how much stress I can take before my stomach reacts.But that little voice in the back of my head never goes away. I have learned to ignore him or at least minimize his influence by the same tricks listed.I try not to eat at places where there is only one stall. I usually drive and I almost always have on hand or in the car immodium, Alka-Seltzer, wipes and or toilet paper.Grocery stores, bowling alleys and Starbucks have been good friends. Been all over the woods and have succesfully made international flights many times.For that matter I once flew from LA to Israel on a 747 where two of the bathrooms stopped working. Thank G-d for private movie screens, it made it much easier.Now I have a portable DVD player for the plane, it is a great distraction.


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