# Stedfoe



## eric (Jul 8, 1999)

I see you on the forum here and have been wondering how you have been doing?


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## stefdoe (Nov 1, 2003)

I still feel like I just canï¿½t cope with life very well. Itï¿½s so difficult to deal with the daily symptoms of chronic illness that I canï¿½t effectively handle other challenges or problems that come up in life. In addition, I have a strong desire to stay isolated because of the IBS/UC symptoms, which makes the depression worse. I just feel pretty hopeless about my life. I feel like these health problems decrease the quality of my life to the extent that I really donï¿½t have much of a life. In some ways I already feel dead. I do understand that I have been blessed in other areas of life, but I just donï¿½t feel that I will ever be able to fully enjoy life without my health.I donï¿½t really understand how people can really and truly be happy without their health. I kind of believe the saying that if you donï¿½t have your health; you donï¿½t have anything.


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## BQ (May 22, 2000)

Stedfoe, So sorry you sre feeling so down. I know you mentioned that you also are facing a move, and that in itself is fairly stressful and probably adds to your stress a bit. So I am hoping once you get settled in your new place and find good Docs to help you, you will be feeling better.I know for me I had to first come to a level of acceptance that I do indeed have a chronic illness for which there isn't a quick fix or cure. That took me a bit to do. But once I accepted that I have a chronic illness in the first place, I could move on to looking and educating myself on ways to manage my symptoms. I really had to just get over the fact that there is no quick fix first though.Then I guess I got a little mad. And I turned that emotion into determination and used it to learn all I could about IBS and trying different ways to manage my symptoms. And once I understood more about IBS, I realized that _I_ wasn't a "whack job" (cause I thought that too for awhile). I was just someone with a chronic illness. And no, I don't think you are a whack job either.... so hey, give yourself some slack.







I slowly over time and loads of questions here, began to get a grip on some symptoms. Pain was my worst symptom and I tried to tackle that first. I am happy to tell you that the hypnotherapy I did knocked the stuffing outta my pain. But I never would have tried it if I hadn't learned about IBS first.My attitude began to change from someone who IBS had to someone who _has_ IBS. I began to see I had some control and I could effect some changes that would help me manage my symptoms. And the ones I haven't been able to perfectly manage??? well... I am not anywhere near as upset about them as I used to be. I decide how I am going to feel about my symptoms. I can choose to let them ruin everyday... OR... I can choose to have a good day despite them. I get out as much as I can. I am involved in volunteering at my kid's school and I do get to some ball games, go on vacation etc. Yes, there are days when I cannot make some of my volunteer time, but most times.. I can get there. And Yup, there are parts of vacations that I have spent by myself in a hotel room, but heck.... I can have D anywhere... I might as well have it in a hotel room and be able to have some vacation. In short with IBS, I used to see every glass as half empty.... and now... I see them as half full.Negative thoughts were definitely habits with me and I had to cultivate positive thinking earnestly. If I had a negative thought, I would try to stop myself and turn it around to a positive one. Yeah, it took time and practice, but it was so worth it.And I have to admit, using a sense of humorat times helps me too.So I wish for a smooth move for you and for a new bright beginning in your new place.Keep us posted on how you are doing. And please vent away here if you wish.BQ


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## eric (Jul 8, 1999)

Stedfoe, I can totally relate because in the past my IBS was so server that I felt like you do.What can we do to help?Have you thought about the HT?Isolating yourself is not such a good idea, even though that is how IBS and chronic health problems makes you feel, especially when your depressed. I personally came to the breaking point for myself where I either had to truggle and do something or contemplate ending it and it can truely get that bad, but I swear to you, you can get better. Its not easy and its work, but it can happen. I also very much know the feeling of loneliness in all this and that for the life of you, me and IBSers individually, don't totally understand your personal pains and issues and how our lives are as indivdual with this condition. W all have d or c or d/c and pain and bloating and distension, ect, but also all the other pains and problems that go along with IBS and then the depression/stres/anxiety it can create and all the other things it seems to play out in the body, as well as any other health issues we might have on top of it all. But Support and understanding and help can make you fell a whole lot better. Its just getting there. You also sure don't have to worry about asking for it here either, because if any group of people understand its this forum for the most part.







They are also doing well in figuring out the link with IBS and UC, so there is also that hope that they will come up with something soon to relieve symptoms. keep the faith


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