# Still looks like Fibro



## BOGGS (Apr 1, 2000)

Hi everyone, I went to the Neuro today. He is sending me to a Rumey. He said that the Rumey would be of better help to me. The disk in my back are bulging but not Herniated to the point of surgery. He said that there is signs of bone ware and it would be best for a Rumey to see me. He ask me if I have ever heard of Fibromyalgia The last thing I wanted in my life was another { no know reason and no know cure syndrome } The IBS was hard enough for me deal with. I have always been a material guy. I didn't believe it unless you showed it to me. I believe the IBS is not in my head and I know the pain is very real. I just wish the rest of the world would acknowledge us. I am sorry for venting it just gets me down sometimes. I just wanted to post and tell everyone how my appointment went. Pat


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## Guest (Jul 7, 2000)

Pat I am so sorry - I know exactly what you mean -since finding this place I have wanted to email ALL of the different posts to a couple of my friends - but, am still afraid they will take it or see it as me whining, etc. when I really would just like them to understand. Stacey


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## weener (Aug 15, 2000)

Hi Pat:Hey, that's what we're here for. Vent away. Sounds like you got the same diagnosis as I did. Did the neuro suggest seeing a physio therapist or exercises to help strengthen your back? Where in the back are you having your problems (upper/lower)? There are exercises to do to help strengthn your back, but it's best to consult with a professional first. I know it gets frustrating when there is no relief from the pain. When is your appt. with the rheumy? All our members know what you are going through, we understand. We know that this is not something you would or could dream up. It is hard for others to understand. Please remember we have no control over how others perceive us, we only have control over how we feel about ourselves. Try to be good to yourself, take the time to rest, you need it. God Bless.


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## Guest (Jul 8, 2000)

Hi Pat, I understand, we all do.I'll be thinking of youLori Ann


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## Guest (Jul 8, 2000)

Hi Stacey,You whine whenever you want! God knows there aren't enough hours in the day to whine about everything, and we have earned the right just by virtue of our suffering.Lori Ann


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## Feisty (Aug 14, 2000)

Hi, Pat! This is what the board is for---venting and info, etc. We all know what you're going thru. Hang in there!! Just a thought......perhaps your Doctor would be willing to write the orders for some Physical Therapy. They could teach you different ways to move and bend and lift, etc. Keep us posted on the Rheumy appnt. We care!!!!!!! Karen


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## Guest (Jul 8, 2000)

Hi Pat, Weener, Stacey, Lori Ann and everybody..Haven't posted lately as I've been in the pits. Pat, I'm so sorry about all your pain. I'm sorry about ALL our pain, both mental and physical.I don't see many posts from people with depression on here. Is this because it is not a real problem for most? Or do they just not talk about it? Well, I guess it goes without saying that most have depression (at least periodically) simply because we live with pain.And speaking of pain, you know I told you that the Celebrex was helping me. But I became a little alarmed at the prospect of stomach troubles from it so decided not to take it every night. I spoke with my oldest daughter on the phone earlier tonight. They had just heard from her husband's son and he is in the hospital. He's 22 years old, has arthritis in his fingers and had been taking Celebrex for it. He has now ended up in the hospital with severe stomach problems. All kinds of tests run; they think he may have an ulcer, and, of course, have told him to stop taking the Celebrex. I don't know how long he'd been taking it.I don't think I'd told you, I'm scheduled for the pre-op lab work with my GP on Monday, the 10th and the cataract surgery is scheduled for July 25th. I'll keep you posted.Oh, my itching rash has about run its course. Thank goodness.Best wishes to all,calida


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## weener (Aug 15, 2000)

Hi Calida:Sorry to hear that you've been in the pits. So, is it cherry pits, peach pits or what? Just joking. Just trying to put a smile on your face. As for your depression question, I do suffer with it. It began l994 when I was so deep in that black hole, that I felt life was not worth living. I remember having this overwhelming feeling of doom and I started shaking and I know my thoughts were running amok. I called my sister and talked with her for hours, crying. I then began walking up and down the drive way to try to get my mind off of everything. The following week I went to see my doc and told him everything. I started crying in his office. He asked me if I was interested in trying an anti-depressant (zoloft). I've been on this for 6 years and it's been a real life saver. I know that I'm not as cranky and I seem to be able to manage the pain better. I know that it works for me. I had a relapse about 2 years ago when I tried going off of it. So for now, I'm sticking with it. I don't take Celebrex, but have heard that it is hard on the tummy. Is it an anti-inflammatory? I cannot take anything like that because I've had an ulcer in the past. Good Luck with your cataract surgery. My friend's dad had it done 2 years ago. His vision was getting so bad that he had to stop driving. He had the laser surgery and was out the same day and went back another time to have the other eye done. He sees great now and wish he had done it a long time ago. Let us know how everything goes.


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## Guest (Jul 8, 2000)

Hi Weener,Yes, your "peach pits/cherry pits" joke did give me a smile. Thanks.I'm so glad that the Zoloft works for you. I tried it about five years ago and finally gave it up as it was doing nothing for the depression for me and causing such bowel upset (diarrhea) that I couldn't take it any longer. Tried Paxil too and that was about three years ago. No real bad side effects that I recall; however, no benefit either. I might as well have swallowed an M & M. Oh well.Yes Celebrex is an anti-inflamatory and is really prescribed for arthritis. However, it seems to help also for the muscle pain associated with FM.I will let you know how the cataract surgery goes. Hope you have a good day!







calida


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## Guest (Jul 8, 2000)

Hi,I read somewhere last night that Celebrx is a pain blocker so it doesn't actually relieve inflammation it just convinces our brain not to feel the pain. I stopped taking it every day and now I take it every second or third day, so that helped the side effects.As for depression, I slip into the black hole about twice a year, its almost seasonal, usually fall and spring. Making it through without doing myself harm has had 2 positive side effects for me, first, I can remind myself that it will pass if I hang in and second, it has made me a doer, when I come out of the hole I start tackling problems, one at a time until I feel better. It was better this spring, and the real black depression only lasted a couple of days. I find that keeping very busy helps. I always have a huge list of "things to do" so when I feel it coming I get out a paint brush, or take my blinds down and wash them etc, it really does help, but its no cure. I think I become the most depressed when I hurt too bad to keep busy. Sitting on the couch for a couple of weeks, in pain, feeling sorry for myself is the worst. My dad always said hard work is good for the soul, (that and idle hands are the devils workshop) and I think he was right, at least it seems to be in my case.Lori Ann


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## Guest (Jul 9, 2000)

Hey Weener, I like the analogy of "the black Hole", for depression. I was in it this morning. I was really sick with a lot of pain on Fri, just stayed in bed. I usually wrap up in my comfy covers, have some ice water by the bed and listen to my nature sampler disc. I felt better Sat, and atually went shopping with my husband and son ( 12 yr old). My son that is 23 has battled drugs and when he called Sat to see if I wanted to go to church with him and his new girlfriend, I was excited. But then he called while we were shopping to say that they werent going afterall, I was so sad. I woke up this morning so depressed. The doctor had called in "Elavil"-generic, so I could sleep during this flare-up. I am wondering if it could cause depression. I too have battled depression, but thought I had it at bay, for the moment. Anyway, my son and his girlfriend are coming over to swim i a couple of hours. My huband had went to play golf, and I was so sad when he left, of course I didn't let him know, but it was like he was leaving for a long time, it was so silly. I just keep telling myself, this will pass, this will pass. It is kinda like "follow the yellow brick road".We have no idea where this crazy disease will take us next. Thank God for my children and my husband and my one dear friend. My friend just turned 57 and I am 40, she is like a healthy teen ager. She brought over food adn took my 12 yr old to the library.WEll, I am definitly rambling on, thanks for letting me vent. You guys are great!Jen


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## BOGGS (Apr 1, 2000)

Hi everybody, Thank you all for your replys. This group is the best. I feel alot better { mentally } than i was when i first posted . My family and I when up north for the weekend. I had a very relaxing time . I had time to get away and go for long walks. I was very depressed when I got done with the Nuero appt. I guess i wanted to hear anything other than Fibro. Now I have come to terms with the thought that this is the way things are going to be if I like it or not. I will NOT let this fibro destroy my life. I will fight this battle every day. I was feeling sorry for my self , Frustrated, mad, and depressed all at the same time. I was wondering what I had done wrong to be cursed . Now I know that if I give up and not try to do anything then Fibro has won . I will face every day knowing that only I can make a diffrence in my life. Thank you everyone for being there for me when I was feeling down . This group is truely a support group for me . When i get down my wife tells me that I need to go blow off some steam with this group . I pray every day for everyone with Fibro . I pray that some day the rest of the world will ackowledge Fibro . Untill then I feel like a rainbow in the dark . Today is the first of the rest of my life . God Bless you. Pat


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## weener (Aug 15, 2000)

Hi Jen in bama:My best friend (she has fm) and I decided to call it the black hole, because that is exactly how we felt when we were in it. She's had fibro about 4 years longer than I have. When you are in it, you think that you will never get out. But you will, with help.I was not too keen on taking the anti-depressant at the beginning. There is such a stigma and shame attached to it. Then I decided that there is no shame in asking for help and admitting that I needed the help. For me Jen, it's made a world of difference. I have a life again, sometimes a very painful life, but I'm able to function. When the fm gets bad, I rest and also get into my comfy clothes and I also love to listen to Solitudes (nature) music. Hubby hates the stuff (he's a rock/roll guy). So when I'm listening to it, I just close the door and lay down and do some deep breathing and visualize being on a beach. From what I can remember about Elavil isn't it an anti-depressant. I remember taking it in the beginning. The rheumy told me that it helps you sleep. I'm not sure about it causing depression. Your pharmacist or doc should be able to tell you. If you find that it's not working maybe it's time to try something else. I also get the feeling of sadness when my husband leaves (especially when I'm having a bad bout). I'm so worried that something will happen to me and no one will be there to help me. The anxiety can be overwhelming. When I feel good nothing seems to bother me, he can be gone all day and I'd be fine. You are right in saying that this is a crazy disease. Your friend sounds like a wonderful person. It is so nice to have someone who is so caring and considerate in your life. I hope that you start feeling better soon. Let us know how you are doing.


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## weener (Aug 15, 2000)

Hi Boggs:Thanks for your kind words too. This group is special. Your words of comfort has also given me a lift. That's what we are here for, to share and care for one another. Happy to hear that you had a nice weekend up north. It is nice to get away (change of scenery). Today has not been good for me. I did too much physcial work on the weekend and am paying for it today. Took a 4 hr. nap this afternoon (haven't done that in a long time). Hope it doesn't stay with me long. I also hope and pray that a cure or a miracle will happen so that all us FM'ers can get back to a normal life. In the meantime, take care Pat.


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## Guest (Jul 11, 2000)

Hi everyone - Jen and Weener - The black whole is what I call it also or the PIT either fits well. I have been on Prozac for about 5 or 6 years, tried to go off once - YUCK was truly awful and will never try that again - some days it is so bad (right now) that I cannot imagine how I would survive if I weren't taking it - could I actually feel worse? Pretty scary.


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## Guest (Jul 11, 2000)

Hi Everyone,Weener, elavil is an anti-depressant, however, from what I have been told, you would have to take up to 250mg a day for it to be effective for depression (that would be easy since you would never be awake)Elavil is also used in the treatment of migrains(sp) and other chronic pain disorders.However, 50mg a day that I have been taking for the past year has had mind altering effects on me that I was unaware of, until I tried to cut my dosage in half, I hit the bottom of the pit within 3 or 4 days, it wasn't suppose to happen but it did, I don't want to take it anymore, but I'm rather stuck with it until I find a better plan.Lori Ann


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## Guest (Jul 11, 2000)

WOW pat, your post touched me. Thank you.PS Does everyone have sounds of nature? I have thunder storms and ocean sounds. But when I need a boost I listen to the bag pipes, marching tunes. It must be a Scots thing.Lori Ann


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## Guest (Jul 11, 2000)

Hello to all,Pat I have gotten answers from my doctor that have sent me into a pit lately too. I know how you all feel. I try not to ponder on me for too long because I am afraid of it taking over. It is like the little child that thinks if they go to sleep they may not ever wkae up again. That is how I feel all the time, just keep going and it will go away. I have to say I run myself into the ground, like now when I have already worked a strong 8 hours and went to a afterwork function and then came home to finish up some work. I sit here with every bit of my body wanting to give in. I use to work 12 hour days a few years back for months at a time and to not be able to finish what I start just drives me. I am hard on myself, I suppose I am not helping things, but like you I don;t want to give in and everytime it pushes me down I try to push it back. It is war that I have with myself and my heart. I always walk on the verge of total depression, I guess I keep it hidden. I was never able to cry or complain in my last relationship so I carried a lot of pain inside. I guess that is the way I am today I don't like to cave in. God, I must sound like a horrible unemotional person. I am compassionate and loving, loyal and giving but I like to be in charge of my feelings. Pat try to keep your chin up, it is a walk that you won't have to walk alone. Always a keystroke away will your group be!Lexa


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## BOGGS (Apr 1, 2000)

Hi everyone, Thank you all for your post. Lexa I feel the same way you do about the battle with in myself . Know one knows about my pain. I always hide it from my co workers. To look at me you would never know that I am in pain all the time. Thanks wener for your support it means more to me than you know. This group is the only place that I can express my true feelings. You guys must think that I am a basket case by now . I hate taken all the Meds that my doctor has me on. I take 2400 mg of nurontine , 150 mg of Zolft, 200 mg of ultram, 80 mg of Dicyclomine,and 25mg of Amitriptyline . I have just started to get 8 hours sleep a night. I never got even 6 hours a night before. My goal is to get off all of these meds. Right now I am just taken what my MD wants me to take . Untill we find out what is going on with me. Enough about me how is everyone doing ? I hope everyone is doing good . I would like to hear what kind of Meds everyone is taken. Thanks again for all your replys. I can't wait until I get home at night to read everyones post. Well take care everyone will talk to you later. Pat


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## Guest (Jul 11, 2000)

HIGH EVERY ONE, JUST BEEN SITTING BACK AND READING POSTS, TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW I FEEL, FISICALLY I'M IN PAIN ALL THE TIME, MENTALLY, I'M A MESS, I TO FEEL DOOM WHEN MY HUSBAND WALKS OUT THE DOOR, I WORRY SO MUCH, BUT ON TOP OF THAT I FEEL MORE DOOM BEING BY MYSELF,THIS POST HAS HEIPED ME SO MUCH THIS WEEK. JUST TO KNOW THERE IS OTHERS WITH THE SAME FEELINGS HELPS. JUST TO TELL A LITTLE ABOUT MYSELF, I AM 1 OF 7 CHILDREN 4 OLDER BROTHERS AND 2 YOUNGER SISTERS THEY ARE TWINS MY FAMILY HAS NEVER REALY BEEN CLOSE MY MOM HAD A REALY HARD LIFE, MY FATHER DIED IN AN AUTO ACCIDENT WHEN I WAS 6 LEFT MY MOM TO RAISE 7 CHILDREN, SHE WORKED AS A SEAMTRESS, AFTER THAT THE BOYS RUN AMUCK ON HER ALLWAYS IN TROUBLE TERRING HER HOUSE UP FIGHTING. SHE REMARRIED FOR 12YEARS ENDED IN A DEFORCE. BUT SHE SAID DURING HER CHILD BARRING YEARS SHE NEVER HAD THE RIGHT THINGS TO EAT WE WERE LUCKY TO HAVE A BOWL OF GRITS AT TIMES, SHE WAS ALWAYS WEAK AND SICKLY, THERES MANY STORIES I COULD TELL BUT WOULD JUST DEPRESS YOU ALL, IT'S DEPRESSING ME HERE COMES THE TEARS, SHE PASTED AWAY FEB. OF 99, THE GIRLS AND HER WERE CLOSE, SHE LIVED CLOSER TO ME. IN A LOT OF WAYS SHE WAS A STONG WOMAN, LOT OF PRIDE, AND SHE LOVED HER CHILDREN, SHE DID MAKE HER ROUNDS TO SEE THEM ALL ABOUT 6 OR 8 MOUNTHS BEFOR SHE DIED, BUT I REMEMBER HER TELLING ME THAT WAS HER LAST TRIP, THAT THEY WOULD ALL HAVE TO COME AND SEE HER. SORY FOR GOING ON SO, THIS REALY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ALL OUR PAINS, BUT SHE ALWAYS WORRIED ABOUT ME SO AND I REALY MISS THAT AND HER AND HAVE NOT HAD THAT CARRING FELLING SINCE, I JUST FEEL SO ALONE MOST OF THE TME IT DOESNT HELP THE DEPRESSION,MY HUSBAND JERRY IS A VERY CARRING PERSON AND HE WORRIES ABOUT ME, WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR TWENTYONE YEARS,TWO CHILDREN, JOEY HE'S 20 NOW AND CHRISTINE 9, MY SON RUN AMUCK ON US SINCE HE WAS 13 NOW HE'S MARRIED AND HAS A LITTLE GIRL OF HIS OWN, I LOVE THEM SO MUCH AND WOULD GIVE ANY THING FOR THEM NOT TO HAVE IT HARD OR SUFFER, BUT HE'S GROWN NOW AND I HAVE TO LET HIM GO, THE STRESS WAS UNBARRABLE AT TIMES BUT I KNOW I DO HAVE TO BE THANKFULL MY CHILDREN WERE HEALTHY AND DIDN'T GO WITHOUT, MAYBE NOT WHAT THEY ALWAYS WANTED BUT WHAT THEY NEEDED, AMERICAN LIFE HU! I TOLD MY SISTERINLAW YESTERDAY IF THEY COULD ONLY SEE THE LOVE IT WOULD BLIND THEM. I DO THINK THERE IS ALOT OF CARING PAOPLE ON THIS SIGHT AND IT REALY TOUCHES MY HEART, I DIDN'T WANT TO GIVE TO MUCH OF MYSELF OR MY PROBLEMS, JUST TAKING IN ALL THE LOVE AND CARING THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH! REALY HAVEN'T FELT LIKE DOING MUCH THIS WEEK, MY DAUGHTER HAS BEEN GOING TO SUMMER SCHOOL AND WHEN I PUT HER ON THAT BUS I FOUND MYSELF JUST SITTING THERE SAYING WHAT NOW BYMYSELF AGAIN, ONE MINUTE I THINK I CAN BE STRONG AND CARRY ON THE NEXT I'M JUST SITTING NOT KNOWING WHAT TO DO NEXT. I WAS WATCHING OPHRA LAST NIGHT AND SHE WAS HAVING SEVERAL PEOPLE START A GRADATUDE JOURNAL IT SEEMED TO TURN ALOT OF PEOPLE AROUND, MAYBE I'LL DO THAT, I LOSE TRAIN OF THOUGHT, FORGET WORDS GET REALY NERVOUSE BUT SOME HOW SEEM TO PULL IT TOGETHER TO GET THROUGH THE DAYS, SOME DAYS ARE EASIER THAN OTHERS. I GET SO MAD AT MYSELF SOMETIMES FOR NOT BEING IN CONTROLL OF MY FEELINGS AND HOW MY BODY FEELS, I'M ALMOST SCARED TO GO BACK TO A DR FOR FEAR OF NOTHING CAN BE DONE OR BEING TOLD IT'S ALL IN MY HEAD, I LIVE IN AN AREA TO WHERE IF YOU DON'T HAVE GOOD INSURANCE YOUR KIN OFF TOSSED ASIDE, THATS HOW IT FEELS ANYWAY OR YOU JUST CAINT GET ANY HELP OR DR.S AND MEDS ARE NOT IN OUR BUDGET RIGHT NOW, I KNOW IT ALL STARTS BY TAKING CONTROLL OF LIFESTYLE, DIET AND EXERCIZE JUST HAVE TO GET UP THE GUMPTION TO CARY ON, SO GUESS THAT'S WHERE I NEED TO START, I'VE NEVER STARTED A HEALTH REGAMIN ANY HELPERS! AND I'M A COFFE DRINKER WHICH I KNOW IS NOT GOOD, BUT IT SEEMS TO CALM MY NERVES, JUST PUT YOUR MIND TO IT AND DO IT HU? HELPPPPPPPPP! I HOPE I HAVE'NT BEEN RAMBLING ON TO MUCH, IT FEELS GOOD TO GET SOME OF THESE THINGS OUT OF MY HEAD! THANKS FOR ANYONE WHO READS OR REPLIES,I'S TAKEN ME TWO HRS. TO WRITE THIS I HAVE TO JUST SIT BACK AND THINK OF WHAT TO WRITE. HAS ANYONE JUST LOST THIER STRENGHT EVEN TO OPEN A JAR OR LIFT SOMETHING MY STRENGHT SEEMS TO BE GOING MORE AND MORE, STAMINA IS LOW, WELL I KNOW I NEED TO GO BUT ALSO KNOW ONCE I LOG OFF THAT TERRIBLE DOOM OF BEING BY MYSELF WILL RETURN AND WILL PROBABLY JUST SIT FOR A FEW MINUTES TO GET MYSELF FOCUSED ON WHAT NEEDS TO DONE, THATS HOW MY DAYS GO. SO SORRY IF I SOUND (FORGOT THE WORD) ALL RAPPED UP IN SELFPITTY! BUT THIS SIGHT HAS HELPED ME TO KNOW I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE AND AND I FEEL FOR EVERY POST I READ, THANKS AGAIN GUYS , FOR LETTING ME VENT! MARION


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## Guest (Jul 11, 2000)

Hi Marion,I can understand how you feel when your husband goes to work- I too feel deserted when I am left alone with the kids, age 7 & 10. I am afraid if something happens when he is not home I couldn't drive then to the hospital. But I have learned to find other things to do so I don't think as much.This site has offered a great diversion so you don't feel as alone in all this.I also think when your not feeling right you get more nervous to be alone.Nice talking with you. Take care and come back when your feeling lonely, it does help.Sea


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## Guest (Jul 11, 2000)

hi Sea, thanks for your reply, this sight has helped me get through a tuff week, I didn't feel so all alone it feels great to go back and find a reply, like there is realy someone there. i do apreatiate it. well I start back to work tomarrow, lets see how it goes, hairdressing can get to your body,feet,arms neck and back, but I do love my job, only hope i can hold on to it for a while, I've told no one of my pain just been taking tylonal if it gets to bad, it seems to help a little. about 3yrs. ago i was diagnosted with fibromyotosis or something like that its probably the same or simular to fm, they told me it goes past muscles past tendons to the fibers that wrap around my spine, which has trigger points that afects rest of my body, I to have sharp pains in my chest sometimes it takes my breath away, like if you take another breath you'll die of the pain, I was told this was plurisy, wonder if it's a connection, I hope you had a good day today, my prayers are with you and each post i read, Marion------------------Marion


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## Guest (Jul 12, 2000)

marion,I may not have your name spelled right I am sorry! I am horrible lately with everything.I just want to say is to not give up and try to look for ways to bring some comfort for yourself. I find that I have a better attitude on this crazy disease when I do something about it. Even if it is taking Benadryl at night to sleep or tylenol during the day. Or natural herbs from the store and eating right and being very watchful over your time. These are all things to help you feel better. I know that good treatment comes with a huge price, and just because there is insurance doesn't mean anything anymore. It is a false since of security for most. I am fighting right now for the insurance to pay almost 6,000 in physical therapy that I was pre-approved for. and that is just the tip of the ice berge. Please take some time to look at some vitamins and hot packs and rest to help the quality of life! Kindest wishes lexa


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## weener (Aug 15, 2000)

Hi Marion:Just want to welcome you to our fm family. I'm not sure if I've already done this. Having a bad fm day. Please don't hesitate to get on the site when you need to talk about something. We are here for you. Your mom must have been a very strong woman to go through what she did and raise 7 children. She will always be with you. The gratitude journal is a good idea. I started one a few years back (I don't always remember to write in it), but it reminds me of how grateful I should be for the things I do have. Because on the days I don't feel well, I'm not too grateful for much. It takes my mind and emotions in a different direction. Please take the time to take care of yourself. Take things one step at a time. Maybe when your kids are out or off to school, take that time to go for a 5 minute walk. Start slow and just add something different to your daily routine. Trying to make too many changes all at once can become overwhelming, just do a little bit at a time. Take time for yourself, the housework will not go anywhere, dustbunnies won't run away (darn). Keep in touch and let us know how you are doing.


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## Guest (Jul 12, 2000)

Hello everyone, thanks for your post weener.I was doing well for about three months. The last couple of weeks have been hard. But I am climbing back our of this one. I think the Elavil will help with my sleep. I took Effexor for the first six months after my diagnosis, but my heart rate was up to 128, resting.It came down after I went off in mar.but it was really working great. I lost weight and had energy. but alas. I started crying when I read your post Marion, and Boggs, and Lori Ann, and I believe it is Karen. I cant remember how to spell SCaractre.You guys are so great. it is truly the work of God to be able to share our grief and our triumps. I have never been so touched. I lost my dad when I was five to a heart attack and then my mother to one, when I was sixteen. I was the youngest of five. Everyone moved away except me. But I have two beautiful sons and a loving husband. I was married twice before to abusive husbands.But even now in my pain, I have a wonderful life. I'm feel better knowing that Im not the only one hating to be alone sick. I want everyone to keep going, and not to burden them with my life, but it is hard to bear it alone sometimes. The only person I have found with Fibro is an aerobic instructer,and I find it hard to believe thatshe has it. I cant keep up with her. But she is very nice. I wish we could all do that well. but my family understands. I guess they know that I am doing the best I can. Sorry to ramble ...thank you allyou are a true gift and blessing.LOVE TO ALLJEN------------------


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## BOGGS (Apr 1, 2000)

Hi everyone, Marion please don't feel like you are bothering anyone with your post . We all are here for each other . We all care for each other , and help support each other when we are down . Jen I too feel that this group is a blessing from God . There is no other place in my world that I can go to and tell all of my true feelings . We all live in diffrent parts of the world , and all have diffrent life styles. We are all diffrent race , but we all have one thing in common. That is the pain that we all feel , and our never ending quest for a pain free life . We are family to one another and we are there for each other . With that being said I would like to say Thank you to all for your care, concern , support , and your prayers . It is great knowing that I am not the only one that deals with this everyday. I just wanted to say every one feel free to say what ever you want and ramble on all you want . Because we all need a place we can go to and let it all out. My prayers will be with you all and God Bless. Pat


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## Guest (Jul 13, 2000)

Hello everyone, and a special hello and welcome to marion,After a couple of miserable days I'm getting back on my feet, even my spelling is somewhat better than the past week, (hey, maybe the dreaded fog gets worse before a flare up!- like a warning sign)After a long day (and a week of rain) I decide to make a tea and sit on the deck as the sun was setting, and I watched the clouds float by. large and small, snowy white and black (left from the rain I imagine) It amazed me how quickly the time went by, just floating with the clouds, it was a peaceful feeling, then I remembered its probably been 20 years since I did that. It was nice, maybe we should all take a few minutes to make shapes out of the clouds, and be a kid again, even for a minute. PS NO I'm not on pain killers today..lolLori Ann


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## Guest (Jul 13, 2000)

THANKS EVERY ONE FOR YOUR KIND WORDS,IT'LL TAKE SOME TIME TO GET TO KNOW EVERY ONE I KNOW, BUT IT REALY TOUCHED MY HEART WITH YOUR REPLIES. YES MY MOM WAS A STRONG PERSON IN A LOT OF WAYS. I LOVE AND MISS HER VERY MUCH, THANK ALL OF YOU THAT RESPONDED ABOUT HER, BUT I CAN SAY ALL SEVEN OF HER CHILDREN CAME TO SEE HER ALL AT ONE TIME, IT SURE WAS TERRIBLE IT HAD TO BE THAT WAY, BUT I DON'T BELIEVE THAT HAS HAPPENED SINCE WE STARTED LEAVING HOME. BUT IT WAS SOMETHING TO SEE ALL OF US TOGETHER, IT PROBABLY MADE HER HAPPY. I FEEL FOR EVERY ONE ON THIS SIGHT IN PAIN, AND MY PRAYERS GO OUT TO ALL. I HOPE TO GET TO KNOW ALL OF YOU! WELL I WENT BACK TO WORK TODAY AND IT WASN'T EASY AFTER NINE DAYS STRAIGHT OF SITTING AROUND, SOMETIMES I'M IN SO MUCH PAIN IT'S HARD TO COMMUNICATE AND GET IN TO EVERYBODY'S UPBEAT CONVERSATION, SO THEY PROBABLY THINK I'M STUCK UP OR JUST PLAIN RUDE, BUT I DON'T WANT TO START COMPLAINING ALL THE TIME AT WORK SO I JUST DO THE BEST I CAN, AND JUST TRY TO FIT IN WHICH ISN'T EASY! IT REALY HURTS MY HEART SOMETIMES. OH WELL, I COULDN'T WAIT TO GET HOME AND CHECK POST AND REPLY, I REALY THANK GOD FOR THIS SIGHT, I GUESS YOU ALL KNOW WHAT I MEAN! JEN, YOU JUST DON'T WORRY ABOUT BURDENING ANY ONE IT'S WONDERFULL READING YOUR POST, YOU SEEM LIKE SUCH A LOVING KIND PERSON, I'M SO SORRY TO HEAR OF YOUR LOSSES, IT'S VERY HARD AT TIMES I KNOW BUT I DO BELIEVE THEY TURN INTO OUR GARDIAN ANGELS OH WHAT A GLORIOUS DAY WHEN WE WILL BE REUNITED. BUT FOR SOME REASON HE HAS PLANS FOR US RIGHT NOW, MAYBE WE'RE GOING THROUGH WHAT WE ARE TO BE HERE FOR EACH OTHER NOW. LEXA, WEENER, BOGGS, THANKS SO MUCH FOR YOUR KIND WORDS AND REPLIES,EVEN WITH FAMILY AROUND I TRUELY FEEL I CAN TALK TO SOMEONE WHO KNOWS WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH, I AM GOING TO START HELPING MYSELF FEEL BETTER I'VE ALREADY STARTED WITH TALKING TO YOU GUYS, FROM THE HEART, IS WHERE IT ALL STARTS, TO ALL KEEP YOUR SPIRITS HIGH AND HANG IN THERE, CAINT WAIT TO COME BACK TOMMARROW! MARION


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## weener (Aug 15, 2000)

Hello everyone:Well it looks like I'm going through another bad bout of fm. Had one a few months back and the darn thing last about 2 months. I know that it will get better, but I get so anxious for it to get better. The brain fog is with with me today. The worse for me is the fatigue. Even the nausea came back today. I think I did too much repetitive work while helping my sister renovate her place. I should know better. Keeping my fingers crossed, hubby wants to go away for a few days. He starts his holidays on the 22nd.Boggs: The meds I take on a daily basis are:avapro for my high blood pressure (a must for me) zoloft (anti-depressant) another must for me. It helps me cope with the fm. Ativan (anti-anxiety) rheumy wants me off of this as soon as possible. I think I'm hooked on it.Started taking it 2 years ago before an operation. Have been taking it since. Apparently it is very addictive. And ocassionally I take flexeril (muscle relaxant) when the fm gets real bad. Like yesterday and today. It helps, but I can't do much when I take it. I feel like a veggie. Oh, and I also use a nasal spray for my chronic sinusitis. They love me at the drug store. Anyways, chow everyone.


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## BOGGS (Apr 1, 2000)

Hi everyone, Weener sorry to hear that you are not feeling well. Please take care of yourself. I understand about over doing it. I am supporting a family of 5 and missing work is not a option for me . I have a very high stressful and hard job . Some nights when I get home I have a hard time just getting out of my van . Oh well there is nothing I can do about it besides just pray and keep pushing on . Marion welcome to the group. Thank you for your prayers. I will be praying for you too . I just wanted to say hello to everyone. My day is not complete until I come here . I have a doctor appt. today can't wait to find out what he is going to do now. I already am taking enough pain killers to put a horse to sleep . Take care everyone and God Bless. Pat


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## Guest (Jul 13, 2000)

Just wanted to welcome Marion so - WELCOME!!! Weener I hope you feel better soon and that this isn't another 2 monther. My prayers are with all of you. Stacey


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## weener (Aug 15, 2000)

Hi Boggs & Stacey:Thanks for your kind words. I love reading the posts and hearing from everyone. I had a pretty fitful sleep last night. Do you ever get those nights where the body is tingling, your head keeps rolling? I dreamt that I was chased by vampires. My heart was racing a mile a minute. I use to get the weirdest dreams when I started the zoloft. Anyways, thanks again, talk to you soon.


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## Guest (Jul 14, 2000)

Hey Weener, I hope you get better. I am in the middle of my longest flare-up. It has to end sometime though. I just found out that three of my cousins have Fibromyalgia.They are on my dad's side. There is also diabetes, but I dont have it, but my sister and brother do. Also, any prayers for my brother right now, I'd appreciate. He is in UAB hospital in Birmingham,Al. They are going to amputate at least one toe today, his sugar has gone crazy, he is on 4 shots day, and morphine right now. He has infection from one foot up to the knee.He has been sick for over ten years now.He had open heart in 1990. (both parents died with heart attack) Gosh, we sometimes wonder why some of us have to suffer so.I wish the best for all of you guys,Take care and keep your chins upLOVE<JEN


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## weener (Aug 15, 2000)

Hi Jen:Thanks for your support. I will definitely say a prayer for your brother. I hope everything goes well with his operation and I hope you start feeling better soon. Think positive. Please let us know how everything goes.


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## Guest (Jul 14, 2000)

Jen,I'm saddened to hear about your brother and I hope that his surgery went well today. My husband's mother was diabetic and his son (by his first marriage) is 30 years old now but his is juvenile diabetes and he was diagnosed when he was 14 years old. I think he's doing better managing it now. (He lives in California and contacts with him are sporadic.) His teen years were a nightmare. Total denial..."let's pretend I don't have diabetes." He lived with Mike and me from the time he was six until he was 16. Another near breakdown for me.Please let us know how it goes with your brother.calida


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## BOGGS (Apr 1, 2000)

Hi everyone, I went to my M.D. thursday . He is sending me back to all the specialist for a 2nd opinon . He wants to make sure that nothing was missed. He told me he is leaning more toward Reflex Sympathetic Nerv Dystrophy { RSD } . Have any of you ever heard of this ? I didn't want Fibro and from what I hear I don't want RSD even more . Anyone that has ever had this or knows anything about it please reply. I am very worried about all this. I am in pain all day long. I have never been in so much pain in my life. Thanks for being there for me . I will pray for all of you and God Bless Pat


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## Guest (Jul 15, 2000)

Oh Boggs, how terrible for you. And I think the worst part (aside from the awful pain, of course,) is the NOT KNOWING exactly what is causing this. Obviously, if it is not fibro, the course of treatment will go in another direction.I had not ever heard of this syndrome before either. Apparently though, the condition is not new as it was first reported in 1864 during the Civil War and related to gunshot injuries. Now they know it can be started by any kind of injury. You say this began three years ago; when did you first start seeing symptoms? And did you at that time receive an injury or have some sort of surgery performed? Perhaps there may be some sort of post traumatic stress disorder at work here too since this was the time of the loss of your father.I just spent some time gathering up reference URL's for you to take a look at as I know, what with trying to work and being in such pain, you may not have time to do this kind of research. These are only a few of the websites I found.I'd sure never wish fibro on anybody but in this case....I think if I had to choose one or the other, I'd choose fibro.Take care and I wish God's blessings for you.calida========================== http://www.rsds.org/ http://www.rsdsa-ca.org/complex_regional_pain_syndrome.htm http://www.ninds.nih.gov/health_and_medica...c_dystrophy.htm ================================This is the full index of a lot of disorders. A good reference for a lot of them. Holy cow! There are so many of them! http://www.ninds.nih.gov/health_and_medica...der_index.htm#r =====================An Australian support group is at this location. I didn't see any others but I'm sure there are some. I sincerely hope that you don't end up needing them. http://www.ozemail.com.au/~ozrsd/main.htm


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## Guest (Jul 15, 2000)

Boggs,I did find a support group at Delphi forums. Looks like it might possibly be a good place to take a look and ask questions.With these Delphi forums (and there are loads of them), you can log in as a "guest" and read the posts. If you decide you'd like to post you can register with Delphi and get access to any of their forums.Support for sufferer. family and friends of Rsd, & all types of Chronic Pain such as Fibromyalgia, Cancer, Pain, FBS, Causalgia http://www.delphi.com/rsdchronicpain/start/ Hope this helps. Goodnight now.calida


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## Guest (Jul 15, 2000)

Hi Marion, welcome and ((((hugs)))) from all of us. I'm sorry about your mom, I lost my dad to cancer in 93 but I miss him as much today as I did then, I still burst into tears when I think about not having him here for the rest of my life. I sometimes wonder if I'm not normal because I still miss him so much.I know exactly how you feel about getting replies, my day seems so much sadder if I can't get in here, I think most of us can relate to that. So welcome, and vent to your hearts content, we are here for you.Calida, you are a sweetheart, thank you for taking so much time to research things and post sites of info for us. Maybe you could turn it into a research business instead of having to go back to the 9 to 5 world.Boggs, my thoughts are with you and I hope it comes out alright.weener- I know all about overdoing it, but I say, if I'm going to suffer anyway I might as well have a good reason and make it worth it. But take it easy and I hope you feel better.Jen - I'll be thinking of you & your brother. I'm not much for prayer these days but I'm sending you all my best wishes and hope.I hope I got everyone right, I get so mixed up sometimes.On a brighter note, my daughter Rose turns 19 today, this is a huge relief and stress off my mind. She had a trustfund set up for her after a car accident and I was set up as the administrator, it was not a job I wanted and has caused me many worrisom hours. Today my responsiblity in that regard is over and I could jump for joy!! She is 8 months pregnant and the father ran out on her, more stress. But she attracts guys like bees to honey and I hope she choses a husband soon. She has had several proposals and turned them all down, but I really want her settled (and happy) as it will cut my stress in half. She is coming to a BBQ for her B-day and bringing the latest boy who vies for her hand. If he can survive a day in my crazy house without running and screaming madly from my door, he gets my vote. Oh to be young again.... but then again, even when I was young (and pregnant) the boys didn't follow me around like lost puppies. So, anyway, if you could point the powers that be in the direction of finding her a husband with a good future, I would really appreciate it. It may not seem important but it would be such a load off me, and would help my ulcers.If I missed anyone, I'm sorry. I think of you all, everyday.Feisty hasn't been posting much, I'm a bit woried about her, I hope its that she feels great and is too busy enjoying life to post.Lori Ann


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## BOGGS (Apr 1, 2000)

Hi everyone, Calida thank you for your time and concern. I will check out the sites tonight. You are right about what time I do have to look things up . Thank you very much . Marion I hope things are going better for you . Lori Ann I thank you for your post . I am just like you Lori my day is not complete until I get on this board . I know that I missed someone who took the time to post and I am sorry for that. My IBS for now seems to be under control { knock on wood } . With the High fiber diet, Bentyl, and exercise . I am normal in that area for the first time in my life. I have IBS all my life . When I was little I thought everybody had D everyday too . IT was about the time my father passed away and I got a promotion at work that the IBS was unbearable. I have had the pain every since my high scool football day. It was the last 3 months that things have become unbearable. Well I just wanted to say high to everyone. Hope you have a good weekend. Take care and God Bless Pat


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## Guest (Jul 19, 2000)

HELLO EVERY ONE AND THANKS SO MUCH FOR YOUR POST AND REPLIES. I'VE READ ALOT OF THEM TODAY AND MY THOGHTS AND PRAYERS ARE WITH ALL. I THINK I'M DOING O-K SINCE I'VE BEEN BACK TO WORK, JUST PLAIN WORE OUT WHEN I GET HOME, MOST OF TIME IN ALOT OF PAIN. FIESTY, YOU HANG IN THERE MY FRIEND AND I THINK WE ALL KNOW WHERE YOUR COMING FROM SOME MORE THAN OTHERS I KNOW, BUT WE CAINT LET THIS THING BEAT US! SOME TIMES I GET SO DEPRESSED I DON'T KNOW WETHER I'M COMING OR GOING, BUT ONE THING THAT MAKES ME FEEL BETTER SOMETIMES IS JUST GIVING THINGS TO GOD, LIKE JUST CRAWLING UP IN HIS ARMS, HOPE I HAVE'NT AFFENDED ANY ONE, AND I KNOW IT DOESN'T TAKE THE PAIN AWAY BUT SOMETIMES IT FEELS LIKE YOU CAN BREATH AGAIN SUCH A RELIEVE! I KNOW ALL THE POST MADE YOU FEEL BETTER, THERE'S SUCH KIND PEOPLE HERE, AND YOU WOULD'NT WANT TO END THAT COMMUNICATION, SO PLEASE KEEP POSTING! LOVE READING EVERYONES! I PRAY FOR HEALING FOR EVERY ONE HERE! AND I TOO AM A BABY AT THIS COMPUTOR STUFF, AND HAVE HAD PROBLEMS GETTING ON THE SIGHT, I TO AM INTERESTED IN A HOME BUISNESS, HELPPPPPPP! MY SON IS A WIZ AT IT BUT NEVER PUT IT TO USE FOR HIMSELF, CAN NEVER PIN HIM DOWN LONG ENOUGH TO LEARN ANY THING, WITH HIM HAVING HIS OWN LIFE AND FAMILY NOW. HERES HOPEING EVERYONE HAS A GOOD DAY! MY MINDS MUSH RIGHT NOW, SO GUESS I"LL GO FOR NOW, GOD BLESS ALL. MARION


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## weener (Aug 15, 2000)

Hi Boggs:Just wondering how you are doing? Have you gone for your second opinion yet? Hang in there. I'm having a better day today. The pain isn't so bad. Praying that you get some relief from all this. Also, I haven't heard from Marsha in awhile. I hope everything is okay. Marsha are you there, please post and let us know how you and hubby are doing? Thinking about you.


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