# Sigh.



## 15226 (Apr 30, 2007)

I've had IBS since the middle of 9th grade(I'm in 12th now), and I'd say I've managed it pretty well. I do miss a lot of school, and get behind, but I've always made it up and have done really well for my whole situation. Last year was especially bad, because I kept getting sicker and sicker. It really effed up my family life, my relationship with my friends, and everything with school. The only thing I really had going for me was my boyfriend. I got really depressed and anxious, and kept to myself, because I was just kinda...freaked out I guess. I didn't know if anything would work out, and I didn't really have anything to look forward to. I do go to a counsler, and that helps tons. This summer I had more problems with my friends, but by the end of it, I just got a "I don't care" attitude, kept moving forward, and knew that I could do this. But now, I'm going to be home schooled. I just dropped all of my classes today. My family and I talked it over, and we think its for the best. My IBS isn't getting any better, and now I have an ulcer and stuff. Its hard for me to go to school due to the pain, and everything else. There's no use missing a lot of school and then getting so far behind and stressed out, I guess. My mom said that it would probably help in the long run, and my family would be a lot happier. I would agree with that, and I know there is nothing wrong with home schooling, but this is my senior year, and I was just hoping that I could do it and have a great time. It just makes me sad knowing that I'll really never be normal in the sense of being healthy and able to lead a normal life. I do try and be as normal as possible, but sometimes its like I can't. And my friends aren't really there anymore. They've kinda formed a group of their own and excluded me. I know I haven't been the greatest of a friend, due to my situation, and me not handling things well, but it still hurts. I'm like a second thought. They don't even make an effort to talk to me. Yet, I still want to tell them about me being home schooled, but I'm kinda freaked out. I just hope they understand, and I really need to do it soon. I've been putting it off all day.Anyway, I'm not really trying to feel sorry for myself. I just feel stuck...and don't know what to do. It's kinda like what do you do when everyone else gives up on you. I'm just uncertain about the future, anxious and depressed. I've had a couple of little panic attacks today, bah. Any suggestionssss?


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## Guest (Sep 19, 2007)

Oh god bless you - I'm sorry cos I'm a Brit so I'm not familiar with your grading system and can't work out how old you are. Whatever, I think you are an incredibly brave and mature person - frankly, it sucks that you are having to suffer so with health problems at such a young age - yet you seem amazingly accepting and absolutely power to you for that.I'm assuming you have explored all the possibilities health wise and researched on ways and means to help alleviate your symptoms. I suffer so mildly I can't be of much help in that department but have battled with depression so totally empathise with what you are going through on the "mental health front". Have you got a sympathetic doctor you can discuss management of both your physical and mental health with - you should have.I don't know much about home-schooling but I can imagine, by its nature, that it could be very isolating. Are there clubs or hobbies that you could keep going to stay in touch with your friends. We all need social interaction, especially at a young age.I wish you well - stay in touch please.Warmest wishes and welcome to the board.Sue (from Liverpool, UK)


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## 15226 (Apr 30, 2007)

Thank you for your reply. :]I really do try to be mature and accepting about having IBS and being in this whole situation. I'm not sure about being brave lol, I'm really not. But I know that I have a condition and I'm going to have to deal, even if dealing means having to be home schooled or whatevhs. I know I can't just sit there and feel sorry for myself, but I know it's really hard, because this kinda turned my life upside down. There are some days or weeks I would just rather stay in bed and not have to worry about anything and be in less pain or feel less sick, but I know that's really not the answer. And I really have gone through tons of medicines, therapies and doctors, and other stuff to help me get better. I get frustrated because it seems like most of the time they don't work or end up making me feel worse. But I know that is no reason to give up, fer sure. And I really am sorry you have to deal with depression, I would imagine it is really sucky. :[ Last year I went to my doctor, and they wanted me to be put on an anti-depressant. I talked to my counselor, and he thought it wasn't needed because I usually only get really down when I'm having a rough time with my IBS, or something with my friends or my family due to having IBS. So that idea never came up again, really. Until this summer, where my counselor actually suggested an anti-anxiety. I'm thinking it'll help me. It seems like my mind is going a million different directions at once, and I'm so anxious and sad sometimes that it makes me even more sick. So I'm going to talk to him about that idea soon. And nope, I've never really been a club or activity kinda of girl, haha. But I told my friends they are more than welcome to come over anytime they want, even if they'd like to come over at lunch and eat at my house. The problem is they don't seem to want to or care really, but oh well, I tried. I can still see them on the weekends. :\I guess I just made this post because I'm just struggling right now. It is my last year of high school, the year before I can go off to college, and I was just hoping I could do it. I was hoping that maybe I could go and have a good year in school for once in three years. I mean, I get good grades even with all the school I miss, but I would rather be there. I was hoping maybe that I could figure out where I went wrong with my friends, and fix it. I was hoping that I could actually make my parents proud. But it didn't work. I know I shouldn't get down, I did a pretty awesome job at school, but I went to the school counselor on Friday so my mom could make the switch to home school final, and she told me I couldn't graduate with my class. I just sat there and cried. That was one of my biggest concerns. But I know things will get better, soon. And psss. haha, is that a picture of a Sheltie for your avatar? If so, heck yessss. I have a Sheltie, too. :]


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## Guest (Sep 24, 2007)

Well I think you are an amazingly mature and accepting person - and I'm sure in the long run that will stand you in very good stead for whatever life throws at you. I know how tough it must be for you not being with all your friends at the moment but it sounds as if you are getting some support from your councellor. I haven't much to add but thanks for your response - I will be thinking of you and wishing you all the best with the home study. You may find withouth the pressure of having to cope physically away from home, your symptoms ease up abit, I hope so, you deserve a break.God bless - and stay in touch.Sue xxxxPS: Yes thats Milo my 4 year old Rug on Legs - he's supposed to be a sheltie but he got rather big - he's a big softie and we all adore him - aren't they adorable doggies??


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## Dandaman (Jun 1, 2007)

rawr said:


> I've had IBS since the middle of 9th grade(I'm in 12th now), and I'd say I've managed it pretty well. I do miss a lot of school, and get behind, but I've always made it up and have done really well for my whole situation. Last year was especially bad, because I kept getting sicker and sicker. It really effed up my family life, my relationship with my friends, and everything with school. The only thing I really had going for me was my boyfriend. I got really depressed and anxious, and kept to myself, because I was just kinda...freaked out I guess. I didn't know if anything would work out, and I didn't really have anything to look forward to. I do go to a counsler, and that helps tons. This summer I had more problems with my friends, but by the end of it, I just got a "I don't care" attitude, kept moving forward, and knew that I could do this. But now, I'm going to be home schooled. I just dropped all of my classes today. My family and I talked it over, and we think its for the best. My IBS isn't getting any better, and now I have an ulcer and stuff. Its hard for me to go to school due to the pain, and everything else. There's no use missing a lot of school and then getting so far behind and stressed out, I guess. My mom said that it would probably help in the long run, and my family would be a lot happier. I would agree with that, and I know there is nothing wrong with home schooling, but this is my senior year, and I was just hoping that I could do it and have a great time. It just makes me sad knowing that I'll really never be normal in the sense of being healthy and able to lead a normal life. I do try and be as normal as possible, but sometimes its like I can't. And my friends aren't really there anymore. They've kinda formed a group of their own and excluded me. I know I haven't been the greatest of a friend, due to my situation, and me not handling things well, but it still hurts. I'm like a second thought. They don't even make an effort to talk to me. Yet, I still want to tell them about me being home schooled, but I'm kinda freaked out. I just hope they understand, and I really need to do it soon. I've been putting it off all day.Anyway, I'm not really trying to feel sorry for myself. I just feel stuck...and don't know what to do. It's kinda like what do you do when everyone else gives up on you. I'm just uncertain about the future, anxious and depressed. I've had a couple of little panic attacks today, bah. Any suggestionssss?


Hey buddy, Listen I know exactly how you feel. I had my anxiety and everything handled pretty well up until my senior year, I didn't even notice that I had it until then. At first since I was young it would just bother me in the first few days of school when I was feeling really anxious or nervous then would pretty much disappear for the rest of the year. I've always been the type of person who holds their feelings in though and I've gone through a lot of family problems and issues that didn't help me any. But looking back on it, I was sort of in the same situation as you, my friends weren't there for me when I needed them, I lost my connection with them because they formed new groups. I also sort of shut them out though because of what I was going through , I have that I don't care attitude now and I'm working on finally getting rid of it. I've let my IBS and anxiety ( all though not actually diagnosed ) control my life. I'm finally moving out of my moms place soon and living with my dad to try to get a new start. I regret so many things from high school, I am now 19 and I haven't done anything with my life since graduation. Due to many issues and just the fear of going out and interacting with my stomach bothering me. You don't want to give your disease the power to do that to you trust me. Try a way of just calming yourself down and relaxing. Set goals for yourself and start meeting new people. Don't get me wrong I really don't like a lot of people but there are a lot of good geniune people out there too! Don't let your fear control you, keep on trying even if it gets hard. I'm sure eventually it will get easier and almost become a non issue for you. Best of luck! Keep in touch if you would like to chat. my screen name is DANDAMAN622


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## GreenDay12 (Sep 22, 2007)

Hey. Your story breaks my heart. I know what your going through , me being a senior in high school as well. My IBS isnt that terrible, its actually quite mild so i cant even imagine how it must be for you. But you know, everything happens for a reason and maybe in some sick way this was meant to happen. But yeah it can get rough. If you ever wanna talk dont be a stranger. Ill tell you embarrasing stories that will make you feel better, lol.


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