# New, Struggling, 7 months Pregnant!



## NeedSomeHope (May 26, 2012)

I just recently stumbled upon this site and I'm thankful I did because I am going through a really hard time with my IBS-C. I know it is mainly because I am 7 1/2 months pregnant. The problem I'm having I don't think is typical, at least from what other people have been writing about. My issue isn't that I CAN'T go, I can, I have the urge to go, I'm just scared to death to because I've had such traumatic experiences in the past when I do go that I'm terrified of repeating those experiences. The last time I had a BM was 5/6 (it's now 5/26) I woke up out of my sleep with the urge to go so bad that I ran to the bathroom without hesitation and started to push (it had been 2-3 days since I had last gone) and it started to come out until it was half in half out and it got stuck and when I did push it gave me a horrible stomach cramp feeling that hurt so bad. I stood up and went to wake up my fiance to tell him we needed to go to the hospital because it was stuck and then I got the urge again so I ran back to the bathroom and the same thing happened I got the urge to push just enough for it to come half way out but of course not all the way. I knew the only way it was going to come out was by using my fingers which is the worst case scenario for me but I knew I didn't have a choice and in that moment I was so panicked, my heart was racing so fast, it was the most intense anxiety I've ever felt. I got the stuff that was at the bottom but I knew there was still a lot left so my fiance took me to the hospital where they checked the baby and told me they could give me a suppository/enema there or I could go home and do one. I opted to do it at home, even though I knew I was too scared to have it get stuck again and wouldn't end up doing anything. A little background on my IBS-C history: I was diagnosed with IBS-C when I was a baby so I've always had issues they have come and gone in severity throughout my life, mainly when I get stressed is when it flares up. It was at it's worse when I was a teen, I would have to drink magnesium citrate or take stimulant laxatives to have a BM and clear my stomach out because I would go 30+ days without a BM. I would get the urge to go but I'd hold it in because I let it go for so long that I knew when I did go it was be so large and hard that it would get stuck and I would have a panic attack once I started to go and there would be no turning back once I sat down to go. I've tried enemas and suppositories but I dread the cramping feeling it's accompanied by. I've had endoscopy and colonoscopy before and all they found was internal hemorrhoids. My stomach eventually got used to the laxatives and the only way I could go was if I took a stimulant but I started taking Phillips (non-stimulant), Colace, Miralax, Probiotics, etc. and that seemed to keep my stomach in line. I only go about every 2-3 days and it never feels like a complete BM, it's always hard to pass and I have internal hemorrhoids so there is almost always a little blood. If I let it go for more than a week my BM are very large, comparable to the size of a pop can. I have seen a GI doctor but they just want me to try whatever new med is out and tell me to eat more fiber. I feel like no one in my life truly understands where I am coming from and thinks I should just suck it up and go to the bathroom. They don't realize how bad it hurts and how panicked I feel. I have constant anxiety about this. Now that I'm pregnant I feel even worse about not having gone in almost a month. I just recently lost my job because I couldn't work through the stomach pains. I know I eventually have to go and that every day I put off going it's going to make it harder for me to go but I can't get past the anxiety I'm feeling. I'm so believably terrified of something bad happening when I do give in and go, like it getting stuck again. I don't know what to do. I've tried breathing techniques and soothing music to try and keep myself calm to get through it but nothing has given me the strength to just go. I feel pathetic and I'm getting really sick and tired of feeling sick and tired.Any suggestions, advices, or just words of encouragement are much appreciated. Thank you very much for just taking the time to read my story.


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## annie7 (Aug 16, 2002)

HI--so sorry for all that you've been going through for so mnay years. yes it is miserable, isn't it. i've had chronic constipation for fifty years and i understand what you mean about other people not understanding and thinking you should just "suck it up and go to the bathroom". would that it were all that easy!you really do need to get your anxiety under control, as you realize. anxiety always makes things worse. and i know you said you've tried some things to help you relax and they didn't work so that is why i think at this point professional help would be the best... other things you can do on your own---yoga, meditation, relaxation tapes, etc etc. the ibs audio 100 program has an excellent series of tapes dealing with ibs as well as anxiety--here is a link to the section on the board about that: http://www.ibsgroup.org/forums/forum/9-cognitive-behavioral-therapy-and-hypnotherapyhave you ever been evaluated by a doctor for pelvic floor dysfunction? it does sound like this may be an underlying problem. it often develops when someone suffers from constipation for a long period of time or it can just develop on it's own. it's a condition when, during a bowel movement, the pelvic floor muscles muscles contract when they should be relaxing or the muscles do not relax sufficiently to facilitate a coordinated movement. so it becomes hard or even impossible to move stool out because the pelvic floor muscles aren't working properly and are holding stool back. a defogram is one of the tests to diagnose this--there may be others. and cognitive behavior therapy is very successful in fixing it--in retraining the pelvic floor muscles to function properly. it has a 70 per cent success rate. and there are also special physical therapy exercises that a trained physical therapist can help you with. http://ibs.about.com/od/causesofibs/a/What-Is-Pelvic-Floor-Dysfunction.htma deforgram would also reveal if you have any other outlet problems too--like a rectocele--that could be interfering with the passage of stool.i don't know how your pregnancy would affect all this--i personally was never able to conceive due to a genetic disease so i know nothing about that--but i'm thinking you may have to wait til the baby is born to have the test and start the treatment??? your doc would know, of course.good luck to you--hope you can find answers to your problem and feel better soon. wishing you all the best.


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## tableandchairs (May 4, 2012)

annie7 said:


> HI--so sorry for all that you've been going through for so mnay years. yes it is miserable, isn't it. i've had chronic constipation for fifty years and i understand what you mean about other people not understanding and thinking you should just "suck it up and go to the bathroom". would that it were all that easy!you really do need to get your anxiety under control, as you realize. anxiety always makes things worse. and i know you said you've tried some things to help you relax and they didn't work so that is why i think at this point professional help would be the best... other things you can do on your own---yoga, meditation, relaxation tapes, etc etc. the ibs audio 100 program has an excellent series of tapes dealing with ibs as well as anxiety--here is a link to the section on the board about that: http://www.ibsgroup.org/forums/forum/9-cognitive-behavioral-therapy-and-hypnotherapyhave you ever been evaluated by a doctor for pelvic floor dysfunction? it does sound like this may be an underlying problem. it often develops when someone suffers from constipation for a long period of time or it can just develop on it's own. it's a condition when, during a bowel movement, the pelvic floor muscles muscles contract when they should be relaxing or the muscles do not relax sufficiently to facilitate a coordinated movement. so it becomes hard or even impossible to move stool out because the pelvic floor muscles aren't working properly and are holding stool back. a defogram is one of the tests to diagnose this--there may be others. and cognitive behavior therapy is very successful in fixing it--in retraining the pelvic floor muscles to function properly. it has a 70 per cent success rate. and there are also special physical therapy exercises that a trained physical therapist can help you with. http://ibs.about.com/od/causesofibs/a/What-Is-Pelvic-Floor-Dysfunction.htma deforgram would also reveal if you have any other outlet problems too--like a rectocele--that could be interfering with the passage of stool.i don't know how your pregnancy would affect all this--i personally was never able to conceive due to a genetic disease so i know nothing about that--but i'm thinking you may have to wait til the baby is born to have the test and start the treatment??? your doc would know, of course.good luck to you--hope you can find answers to your problem and feel better soon. wishing you all the best.


Annie -- that information you gave I found very interesting. I am now wondering if I may have pelvic floor dysfunction, it would explain a lot. I have anxiety too and never really thought about how they all could be related. Thanks for the link to the info about IBS audio. You are a wealth of information!


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## tableandchairs (May 4, 2012)

NeedSomeHope -- I just wanted to tell you that you've found a good place in this board and I hope you come back regularly. I'm new to the board to have learned more in the past couple weeks of being on this forum than I probably have in the 15 years I've been diagnosed IBSC. You are not alone. I often feel like the only person in the world who deals with this. NO ONE can even begin to understand unless they are dealing with it and you usually don't know who those people are because we don't talk about it in the staff lunch room!I hope things get better for you. And congrats on the upcoming delivery. You are brave and fortunate to take on motherhood. I personally am terrified to ever get pregnant because of my condition and how it could effect it. This fear is causing me to likely miss out on something huge in life I may want to have. Good luck in the rest of your pregnancy and with the new baby and remember even if we're just on the internet, you're not alone.


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## annie7 (Aug 16, 2002)

Tableandchairs--thanks! so glad you found the information helpful!i had a defogram in january. it really is a useful test. it showed i do not have pfd but it did show that i have a moderately sized rectocele as well as a vaginal prolapse, neither of which i knew i had. both of these can make passage of stool more difficult. so i was really glad i had the test.also-don't know if either of you have tried this but i have found that putting my feet on a foot stool (or an overturned wastebasket, etc) while sitting on the toilet helps get things out more easily. this raises the knees above the waist and straightens out the anorectal angle allowing for a more complete--and easier-- evacuation. it really has helped me. you may have to experiment a bit to find out what height works best for you.and don't strain--you can try leaning forward from the waist--or rest your forearms on the top of your thighs--and either breathe normally-- try deep breaths-- or blow--as in blowing out candles--but stay relaxed--and this can help get a bm out. and sometimes i find just sitting up straight works better--it changes. listen to your body and experiment with what feels right but don't strain. by using biofeedback, a trained physical therapist can show you these things and more a lot better than i can describe them.or if you're really agile, you can try squatting on the toilet seat itself. i tried this and almost broke the seat--lol..too funny! never could quite get the hang of it--couldn't relax that way. you can do a search on squatting while on the toilet for more info on that. but the footstool works great for me..and so much easier.


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## NeedSomeHope (May 26, 2012)

annie7 said:


> HI--so sorry for all that you've been going through for so mnay years. yes it is miserable, isn't it. i've had chronic constipation for fifty years and i understand what you mean about other people not understanding and thinking you should just "suck it up and go to the bathroom". would that it were all that easy!you really do need to get your anxiety under control, as you realize. anxiety always makes things worse. and i know you said you've tried some things to help you relax and they didn't work so that is why i think at this point professional help would be the best... other things you can do on your own---yoga, meditation, relaxation tapes, etc etc. the ibs audio 100 program has an excellent series of tapes dealing with ibs as well as anxiety--here is a link to the section on the board about that: http://www.ibsgroup.org/forums/forum/9-cognitive-behavioral-therapy-and-hypnotherapyhave you ever been evaluated by a doctor for pelvic floor dysfunction? it does sound like this may be an underlying problem. it often develops when someone suffers from constipation for a long period of time or it can just develop on it's own. it's a condition when, during a bowel movement, the pelvic floor muscles muscles contract when they should be relaxing or the muscles do not relax sufficiently to facilitate a coordinated movement. so it becomes hard or even impossible to move stool out because the pelvic floor muscles aren't working properly and are holding stool back. a defogram is one of the tests to diagnose this--there may be others. and cognitive behavior therapy is very successful in fixing it--in retraining the pelvic floor muscles to function properly. it has a 70 per cent success rate. and there are also special physical therapy exercises that a trained physical therapist can help you with. http://ibs.about.com/od/causesofibs/a/What-Is-Pelvic-Floor-Dysfunction.htma deforgram would also reveal if you have any other outlet problems too--like a rectocele--that could be interfering with the passage of stool.i don't know how your pregnancy would affect all this--i personally was never able to conceive due to a genetic disease so i know nothing about that--but i'm thinking you may have to wait til the baby is born to have the test and start the treatment??? your doc would know, of course.good luck to you--hope you can find answers to your problem and feel better soon. wishing you all the best.


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## NeedSomeHope (May 26, 2012)

I can't thank everyone who replied to my post enough. You have no idea how comforting and encouraging it was to read what you guys had to say. You're comments and advices is so refreshing, it's exactly what I was looking for when I came here. I never thought I would find people who felt exactly as I do and that would be as kind and open as you all have been so far.Don't get me wrong, I have many supportive people in my life that I am very thankful for but they can only relate/understand so much, you know? They say things that they think are encouraging or supportive like "I can't imagine how you must feel....BUT you know you have to go to the bathroom you don't really have a choice and you're just making it harder on yourself the longer you put it off" or sometimes my fiance or mom get so frustrated with me not going to the bathroom that they just seem annoyed and have no sympathy when I'm in pain. For example, the other day was my grandma's birthday and I didn't want to miss her birthday dinner but I was so uncomfortable because I haven't gone to the bathroom in almost a month it hurt to drive in the car, sit, stand, anything really!! But my fiance had no sympathy and just kept saying, "well if you would just go to the bathroom you wouldn't be so miserable". Don't you think I know that?!?!? Does he think I enjoy feeling miserable?!?!


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## tableandchairs (May 4, 2012)

NeedSomeHope said:


> I can't thank everyone who replied to my post enough. You have no idea how comforting and encouraging it was to read what you guys had to say. You're comments and advices is so refreshing, it's exactly what I was looking for when I came here. I never thought I would find people who felt exactly as I do and that would be as kind and open as you all have been so far.Don't get me wrong, I have many supportive people in my life that I am very thankful for but they can only relate/understand so much, you know? They say things that they think are encouraging or supportive like "I can't imagine how you must feel....BUT you know you have to go to the bathroom you don't really have a choice and you're just making it harder on yourself the longer you put it off" or sometimes my fiance or mom get so frustrated with me not going to the bathroom that they just seem annoyed and have no sympathy when I'm in pain. For example, the other day was my grandma's birthday and I didn't want to miss her birthday dinner but I was so uncomfortable because I haven't gone to the bathroom in almost a month it hurt to drive in the car, sit, stand, anything really!! But my fiance had no sympathy and just kept saying, "well if you would just go to the bathroom you wouldn't be so miserable". Don't you think I know that?!?!? Does he think I enjoy feeling miserable?!?!


Luckily my bf is very compassionate, he doesn't understand, he goes at least a couple times a day (I get SO jealous!!!), he just wishes he could take the pain away and "go" for me lol. Other people that know me aren't so compassionate, perhaps because of a lack of understanding that this is a _legitimate complex medical condition_, not just something that "going for a good walk" "drinking a few glasses of water" or "eating an all bran bar" can fix.Sometimes when things get REALLY bad, I use Fleet phospho soda. It has taken one or two doses at times before. It's my "last ditch" when I'm getting really sick. Your situation is different though. Since you're pregnant, I don't know what's considered safe or not to use while expecting (part of the reason I'm so hesitant to start a family myself). My heart goes out to you --- I hope you can find some even temporary relief for now so you can focus on your upcoming new bundle of joy.


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## refuse to live this way (Apr 25, 2012)

Need some hope - I can really feel for you. I have IBS-D and I had always thought this was worse then IBS-C because we are kind of stuck in the bathroom (or nearby one) until it subsides. I can now see where IBS-C could be even worse. I can't imagine what you are going through with being pregnant at the same time. The only advice I could give you is try reading a book in the bathroom with your feel elevated like Annie7 suggested and just read for the pleasure of it. I do the same thing with my IBS-D and it helps not getting anxiety while you are having an episode. It's worth a try if you haven't already. I am wishing you the best in you upcoming motherhood and your condition. You will be in my prayers, thanks for sharing your story with us and please remember we are here for you and you are not alone in this.


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## annie7 (Aug 16, 2002)

neeed some hope--oh yes, i hear you.... so many people just don't get it and yes, like table and chairs said, probably because they don't realize that chronic constipation sure is --as she said--a legitimate complex medical condition--very well said!! i am very grateful and lucky that my hubby has been understanding and supportive about it all--he's seen me suffer for thirty years. and oh yes--table and chairs--he goes twice a day too--like you said--i'm so envious of that!! family always has been a different story--even from when i was a child they were all either saying it was all in my head or else all my fault for not eating right, drinking enough water or getting enough exercise etc (all of which i faithfully did). even the docs back then (early 70's) said the same thing--the fiber water exercise mantra. so it actually got to the point when i did start to blame myself and felt that i was a wimp and should just "get over it" like everyone told me. finally, in 2000, i found this board and actually cried when i realized that it was NOT all my fault and that i was NOT the only one--that there were other people who suffered like this too. believe me, all the support and helpful knowledgeable advice here sure has been a real blessing over the years! thanks SO much, Jeff for starting this board!!i do hope you can find some help and relief soon and also that your fiance at least if not your family will develop some compassion and understanding and start to listen to you. wishing you and your baby all the best.


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