# Baby steps once again



## 17338

My storyâ€¦.Like so many, IBS has influenced my life in every negative way possible. Helplessness sets in then sadness and ultimately, depression. I use to suffer from migraines as a child but as I began my freshman year in college, my migraines increased almost daily. Innocently, I consumed Excedrin-pretty much daily, ignorant to the possibility of any long-term side effects. In the beginning, I had a great job at a securities firm; I was a finance major in a 5 year program at the university and had a great, loving relationship. Then IBS reared its ugly head and everything I came to cherish slowly faded from my vigilant sight. First to go, my self-esteem, and from there everything else seemed to spiral downward for me. Of the numerous things I lost, these haunt me the most:1) Losing my best-friend and boyfriend for 9 years (betrayal of trust). 2)	Almost dropped out of college on numerous occasions.3)	Becoming combative (if another person asks me, â€œWhy do you go to the bathroom so much?â€ Iâ€™ll go crazy (I donâ€™t want to be this way, I want to be cool, calm and under control).4)	I walked away from various promising careers that would have made me extremely happy due to unkind, malevolent, inconsiderate co-workers.The list seems almost endless, but I am tired of complaining, tired of being sick, tired of working myself out of a bad mood, tired of my diet and just tired of being confined because I feel sick. I have so many questions:1) Could my IBS be a result of my excessive use of Excedrin? (My Doctor said â€œnoâ€, but I am not sure I agree). a. My father has what he calls a â€œsensitive stomachâ€, could this be IBS"b. Is it genetic?2)	Everything I eat affects me, although probiotics and digestive enzymes have helped. So if all foods cause boating, gas and general discomfort, does that mean malabsorption? Could it be carbohydrate malabsorption (I hope not, my momâ€™s Indian cooking lost, forever? No West-Indian food!! (Am I being punished?) a) Could it be food allergies or intolerance? Are they one in the same? b. Can this be caused by SIBOs? c. Is PMS a factor?3) The general consensus is there is no cure, but there are some who found relief. Why should I believe that the cure is out there for me when there are so many still looking for some type of relief?The complexities of the questions are as numerous as the questions themselves, so Iâ€™ll try to keep it simple and limited. I am probably talking in circles or ranting since it is after 7AM and did not sleep a wink. My most troubling thoughts are around my future, my destiny and the role IBS plays in the pages of my lifeâ€™s story. My weakest moments seem to arise when some form of social rejection happens. I somehow feel that it is my fault when others react to my IBS in negative ways yet, I am consciously aware that I canâ€™t control my BM, the nausea and bloating. Regardless of this awareness, I internalize my feelings, my frustrations and discontentment. I create doubts and insecurities that are interminable, and hold fast to them as if the are absolute truths. It would seem as if my perfectly planned life has shattered into a vortex of the unknown. So where do I begin to pick up the pieces? I need a plan of action. First, Iâ€™ll start with me- do whatever I need to do to make me â€œfeelâ€ okay. Second, IBS may have derailed me but it does not have to stop meâ€¦â€¦ Third, my list of questions is a good place to start with the help of my doctor......I am working on the rest, but at least I have a good place to start. See you on the boards







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