# Story of Six years and still fighting IBS-C with gas leak.



## 6yearsfighting (Dec 21, 2015)

My English may not be good to attract your interest to read my story but those who really suffer from IBS-C understand the feeling of pain and it does not requires any language. Purpose of writing my story is not for asking help but to tell and realize those who suffer the same pain, are not alone in this world. There are people like me and many more and they have their own unique stories.

My story starts from university, when I had started my IR degree. One day after summer vocation I was traveling back to home with my father. On the way I took my usual dinner in a hotel and sat back in Bus again and the bus started moving. After one hour I felt bad smell and I thought it was someone elz in the bus but it happened frequently, then I realized something wrong with me. Next morning we reached home and all brother and sister got together one breakfast then suddenly I felt bad smell again and now I realized that something is really going wrong with me( I had no idea I was suffering from IBS-C and leaking gas without any knowing and feeling) I stood up and went to my bed and that was my last social gathering.

I went to bad and cried for hours due to ashamed of leaking gas from my body. As I am belonging to tribe there passing gas becomes the bad lebbel one you for your entire life. I was so broken that I didn't go out form bed for 15 days. I switched off my mobile, emails, FB. After one month I lost 10 kg weight and when I saw myself in mirror I looked like forty years old that time my age was 26. After few days I gather the courage to talk to my Mom and elder brother and they told me to see doctor. I had started social phobia and always wanted to sit and live alone. When I was sitting in bus toward hospital I wished the guy next to me was not sitting on there and when gas leaked on the way and people stared at me by holding their hands on nose, which was the most killing moment of my life. I was completely died from inside at that moment and I wished someone understand how much pain I am going trough. Those who never been through with such situation will never understand and they will never stop laughing, that's fact. When you go though hard time, Nature teaches you many things because I was alone and nature was my teacher.

I was surprised when doctor told me that I am normal and need to change food and life style. I took 3 months to stay at home and my mom took care of my food. The whole duration I used to stay home and avoided friends and family invitation due to social Phobia. Slowly my friends and family started ignoring and forgetting me as I was now nothing for them in their lives. After 3 months I thought I am now recovered and should start my University classes again. In the very first lecture in Class I started panic and worried , what if I leaked gas, what my fellows talk about me and how much they will have fun on me. These thoughts were blowing my head at that moment then suddenly the girl next to me hold her nose and I got that I am was not recover at all. I just went out from class and straightly went through the door and never went back to university again. I had no courage to face the class again and hide the story. I broke down in to pieces again coz I had only social circle was my university fellows. I avoided their calls and invitation due to embracement and couldn't gathered courage to face them again. My thoughts were so much influenced by tribal rules, values and culture so I had no courage to face people and facing their fun on my personality.

I stayed in a room where no anyone was in contact with me. I was only in contact with my brother and mom once a week or month. Gradually I finished my saving and mom and brother were tired to give me emotional support. I realized that I am finished now and my presence has nothing to do with any one because now everyone has forgot me even mom and brother. And it was true I was receiving a call after months and was very much hopeless from life so I never picked up phone and call someone. I had no saving now, no job and no University degree and no health. I was completely broken with zero will power and courage. I thought about suicide many times but due to religious faith I cannot commit suicide and on the other hand I never wanted live.

One day I went on a walk and saw many happy people around me and many sad people. I changed my mind because I was not in my hometown and no any tribal values, culture can hurt me in hundred miles away. I started thinking about life, especially nature. I told myself that if I die this will not affect anyone in this world and if I live then I can see many beautiful days. I am part of this nature so I have my own place, my own world, my own life. I realized myself that if I have to live then I have to face and there are thousands of ways to live. Running and hiding the issue never worked then the other option is only face the situation. I Picked up the phone and called my brother if he can help me finding a job. Fortunately I received a call from brother week's later and he told me there is position for Iraq if I want. I said "yes" because I never afraid of dying in Iraq now and I wanted to make some money to see another day in my life.

With In 2 month I managed to convince myself to face the more embracing moments of my life. Two months later I received a visa and ticket to Iraq. I met the other workers at airport they were going to the same company I was going. I started getting bold, I talked to people and some of them were very open to talk and laugh. When I reached Iraq, it was amazing feelings to see a new land and new people. I started feeling and enjoyed the moments even knowing that my problem is still with me. I had promised myself to not afraid from any situation. When I was in the bus, it happen( gas leak) and people felt bad but this time I never dammed care about them because I had to live my life.

Every day I wake up I faced IBS-C and gas leak issue but I closed my eyes, took a long breath and gather courage to face them. I completed three oil and gas projects in 5 years in Iraq as a Health and safety Inspector/Officer/Advisor. In that whole duration People called me with bad names, with bad mouth on my back but I never cared about that. I managed to save some good amount of money and return back to my home town. I build a small home and got married with a beautiful lady. I manage to travel, hiking, mountainring and long drives and visited my favorite picnic spots. I am 33 and still facing the same IBS Issue with gas leak but I will never give up. I am applying for next job when I get I will go for it with the same will power and I will live for myself and for my family.

I have one suggestion if IBS holds you back in your professional life because of what other people will think about You then never care about them, Just be bold and remember they will not be happy from you either if you have a good health. They are only concern about their lives so be bold and be open and never dammed care about. Live your life and never give up.


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## marleyma (Aug 13, 2014)

You are very brave for overcoming such hurdles in your life. Keep pushing forward. You are doing a great job.


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## Welshwoman (Dec 29, 2015)

You have come to terms with your problem, when you don,t have a choice except to live with it that is the answer. Good luck and God Bless.


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