# If you could offer words of advice for anxiety sufferers...



## shyra22f (May 9, 2000)

I thought that maybe starting a thread offering encouragement, resources, or treatments for those suffering from anxiety and feeling hopeless might be a good idea. I've noticed that even though we have this forum and it's relatively new there's still plenty of threads over in the discussion area about anxiety & panic and perhaps we could use this as a reference. Maybe people might start to make more use of the CBT, Anxiety and Hypnotherapy forum. Just a thought. I know there are members here who have been through it and have recovered, others who are just starting the tapes and having success, and people like myself who are/have been involved in CBT. If anyone has any input I'd be interested in reading what has worked for you or what kind of treatments, resources, or optimistic advice you could offer to those who feel depressed or alone while going through this.------------------"I'm not a failure if I don't make it - I'm a success because I tried"-unknown


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## diamondgirl (Aug 5, 2000)

Hi Shyra,This is a nice idea for others who need to read words of support and encouragement...I know it's one of the things I rely on when I'm not at my best. Other things that have helped me are the simple things, I guess. I kept a journal during my worst times, just describing my feelings during an anxiety/depression mode, what my fears and worries were, and how I felt later when I was able to "come down" from the high level of anxiety. That journal really helped me, and I still refer back to it when I'm not feeling well...it helps me to see that I got through it, no matter how bad I felt. Also, writing and getting my feelings out helped to distract me. I also take time out just for me when I'm feeling bad. I go and do something simple and I refuse to let anyone else bother me until my "alone time" is over. It helps me to center myself again and feel a little more relaxed. Having understanding people like the wonderful people I've encountered on this board is a big plus, too! Dee


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## shyra22f (May 9, 2000)

Thanks Dee







I too keep a journal and have been doing so for about 10 years. Started a diary when I was 13 and haven't quit since. I have a stack of spiral notebooks. It's nice to go back and read everything, especially reliving memories from my teen years.I'll share what I'm currently doing in CBT. I keep track of everything I've done (facing my phobias) on a chart. I list the date & time, wheather I was alone or with someone else, where I went, the highest my anxiety got to (out of 10) and what the lowest it got to while I was in that situation. I then take those numbers and plot them on a line graph. (Sounds very technical but it's quite interesting) I started this two weeks ago, and I even though I have some high peaks, for the most part my anxiety has been slowly declining. It's really neat to actually 'see' my progress.I guess the one single word of advice I could offer is to face your fears, it will only get easier with time. ------------------"I'm not a failure if I don't make it - I'm a success because I tried"-unknown


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## shyra22f (May 9, 2000)

I had another CBT appointment yesterday. My therapist pointed something out to me. One of those things I've been doing for SO long that I didn't even know I was doing it! She wrote down some of things I was telling her about what other people 'might' think of me and had me read them. It wasn't until then that I realized just how completely irrational these thoughts were. She said I try to mind read. A large amount of my antcipatory anxiety comes from what I automatically assume people are or will think of me in any given situation. I think this was a bit of a turning point for me. I couldn't possibly know what other people are thinking and it doesn't help to assume that what I believe they're thinking IS what they're thinking. Just thought I would add that as it's a VERY bad habit I have developed and have been doing for as long as I can remember. She believes this is a major ongoing, underlying cause for my high anxiety. ------------------"I'm not a failure if I don't make it - I'm a success because I tried"-unknown[This message has been edited by shyra22f (edited 05-16-2001).]


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## diamondgirl (Aug 5, 2000)

Shyra,Wow, that's very interesting! I bet a lot of us do that without even knowing we're doing it. Thanks for sharing your experiences in CBT. I'm also a big believer in facing your fears instead of trying to run away from them. I try to follow the steps I read about in Claire Weekes' book "Hope and Help for Your Nerves". It's very simplistic...face the anxiety, don't run away from it, accept it, don't fight it, float towards it and past it, and let more time pass to heal. I can't tell you how many times I repeated those steps in my head to get me through an attack! "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway" by Susan Jeffers is another very uplifting book. Take care, Dee


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## eric (Jul 8, 1999)

Excellent conversation ladies.







I wish I saw more of this on the dicussion forum.







Shyra, the cbt seems to be helping a lot and I am glad you are posting about it for other to read some of how it works. Very Important for others.I want to mention something else on this thread and that is having something in our life that are a hobby or something we truly enjoy. I have a lot of them, but my guitar is a big one. I would come home really stressed when I was a chef, ready to tear heads off, sit down and play my guitar and off I went, a lot of times forgetting why I was so frustrated or mad or stressed. If the mind isn't idle it has less time to worry. I know thats not the whole picture, just something I found that helped for me.------------------Moderator of the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Anxiety and Hypnotherapy forumI work with Mike and the IBS Audio Program. www.ibshealth.com www.ibsaudioprogram.com


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## diamondgirl (Aug 5, 2000)

Eric,I couldn't agree more about having a hobby. When I was consumed by my anxiety, and I started going to counselling, one of the first things my therapist said to me was "do you have any hobbies, or things that you can do to relax?" Of course my answer was that I couldn't concentrate on anything but my anxiety, and that I couldn't enoy doing things that I normally do. (very sad state I was in) I had to try, though, so I started off by doing something like planting flowers outside in my yard...just playing in the dirt. I was amazed at how much better I felt when I was doing something, anything other than worry and stress myself out. To this day, I still turn to my garden when I'm feeling stressed, and my yard and window boxes look wonderful!







Dee


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## AZmom1 (Dec 6, 1999)

Excellent post Shyra. I have lots to say on this, but I'll wait till I'm off post-surgery pain meds.







You seem to be progressing well and learning a lot. I think you're sharing some important and very useful information here. AZ


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## Guest (May 17, 2001)

Hi All,I thought I would take a track off my reflective thoughts recording to answer this one. I think most people will be able to relate to this. For Anxiety and Panic victims this should help if borne in mind.The Light at the end of the Tunnel.Over the years I have found that the more anxious, stressed, depressive type of patients that come to me, use imagery in their language. You see Mr Mahoney, I just canï¿½t see the light at the end of the tunnel. I canï¿½t see an end to how I am feeling. I expect you are familiar with the phrase canï¿½t see the light at the end of the tunnel.If you are, I am almost certain that you, like literally all my patients who use this phrase imagine the tunnel with the light to be long and straight. Well if you do, there is the big mistake.Think back over this successful life that you have led. How many journeys have you had in your life that are long and straight? Very few I expect, if any at all.You see the person that comes in with anxiety or stress or depression, have more often than not, not allowed themselves time for themselves, for their own needs. They have either chosen to ignore or not identified with the basic equations in life. Also their ability to see in perspective is distorted. Simply, there are few long straight roads, journeys or tunnels that we travel through in life.The road of life is an exciting combination of turns and bends, highs and lows, twists, tacks and turns.To look straight ahead like many many do at the light or lack of it at the end of the tunnel is misleading, because if we look at the journey of life as being a long straight road, and we canï¿½t see the light, where is the encouragement to continue on, where do we summon our determination from to continue on the journey? That type journey is long, hard and often self-defeating.Instead think of the tunnel as a series of twists and turns, ups and downs, and if we see the tunnel like this, then we can also get comfort from the fact that instead of having to travel miles along the straight tunnel before we make progress, we only have to take a few steps forward, and then look right or left and the light can be there, within our grasp, this scenario, gives us the determination to continue the struggle, to reach our goal, and to continue our journey of success. I hope this helpsBest RegardsMike


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## shyra22f (May 9, 2000)

Mike, thank you!







What a great way to look at it. I know I was at that place where everything seemed so hopeless, and I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. It's so true, recovery is not a straight road. There's lots of twists and turns along way. I guess you could also say that among those twists and turns you may catch a glimpse of the light, and take another turn where you lose sight of it, only to find it again.


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## Guest (May 17, 2001)

Hi Shyra,The times when we see the light around one corner and it goes again is more of a motivation to continue.Also at those times when we think we are going backward, we have to remember, stopping and resting is also part of the process of moving forward.Many people going through the healing process believe that they have to keep going onwards all the time. Not so, we have to stop and rest, much like climbing a mountain, we can't climb a mountain all in one go, we stop, rest and look at how far we have come and plan our next steps.I'm waffling here, but in essence stopping and resting is part of moving on. And for those that really feel they take a step back, then they can see where they have been, and if they can do it once, they can do it again







thanks for your commentsBest RegardsMike


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## Lotronexlvr (Mar 8, 2001)

great thread/topic, shyra







and Eric...i didn't know you were a chef...how very interesting! i also play the guitar, but in a different way...don't know if anyone has heard of "slack key" guitar, it's a form of playing in the Hawaiian islands. i also pluck at the uke, but one of my favorite hobbies to relieve stress is making earrings! i'm a graphic artist and making earrings is a nice relaxing artsy fartsy thing to do.take care all!


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## BQ (May 22, 2000)

Shyra, I remember during a particularly anxious time I was having, someone once told me "Do it scared". Usually if something frightened me I would avoid it & not do it. I would allow the fear to stop me. This person told me, "So, you are afraid. That just means you must do it scared." Like I didn't know doing it anyway WAS an option! But I tried it & she was right. I went ahead & did it scared. The first time was hard, but after I did it a few times it got progressively easier. It got to the point when I didn't even notice I was scared! LOL! And I had let go of the fear w/o realizing it right away! For me, at the time, this was a huge enlightenment!Another enlightenment was when I realized I had to please me 1st. My motivations had to be served not anyone else's. I had to learn to MAKE my own choices instead of doing what I thought others expected of me. This was hard, because I literally did not know what I wanted. I had spent my life up until that point, pleasing others. So everyday I had to make an effort to consciously choose to do something just for me.My happiness is my responsibilty. No one else's. Other's happiness is their responsibilty.Just some things I learned.







BQ


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## norbert46 (Feb 20, 2001)

Mike,I have been really enjoying your tape program and it helps greatly. Your insight into our travel thru life is right on the button and I never quite heard it explained that way. If you can look at your journey that way you can relax and enjoy the trip. Thanks!! I visited a terrific Psychologist a few years back that also believed that most people with stress/anxiety problems such as panic/IBS,etc, were intelligent and overanalyzed and tried to control and plan everything. With this mode of life, when your plans don't proceed properly, you feel out of control and lost. I had always convinced myself that business comes first, pleasure later. The old phrase "Stop to smell the roses" still applies. Thanks again, Norb


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## Guest (May 18, 2001)

Hi Norb,thanks for your comments.We should remember we work to live, not live to work







Again many thanks,Best RegardsMike


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## shyra22f (May 9, 2000)

Dear BQ,I really like that "do it scared". It's so true that when you're in such a highly sensitized state it's so easy to think, "I'm too anxious, doing this is NOT an option". But coming to the realization that you did, knowing you CAN do it, even if you do it and you're anxious, really opens up a lot of doors and gives you a sense of freedom you may have forgotten after experiencing high anxiety for an extended period of time. That's one thing I've come to realize, that no matter how nervous or anxious I may be in a certain situation, I can still cope and that it's not the end of the world if someone sees me shaking or whatever. And the chances of THAT actually happening are slim to none.I've found too that anticipatory anxiety causes me the most problems. Constantly reminding myself that once I'm there and it's never as bad as I made it out to be in my head helps calm me down. And another thing that is useful is to allow myself to realize that my life is not in danger and there's no threat in the situation (providing the circumstances of course!) but 9/10 times this always proves to be true.------------------"I'm not a failure if I don't make it - I'm a success because I tried"-unknown


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## shyra22f (May 9, 2000)

bump


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