# Devastated and seeking support



## Kumes (Jan 1, 2012)

Hello,I'm so devastated by my IBS and the vicious cycle that I decided to share my story and ask for your help and support. I'm 33 and have had IBS-D for the last 3 years. I had always been a very active, sociable person, but these last 2 years have been very difficult for me, and I'm sick of being trapped in this horrible place.I started having very bad, severe flares about 2 years ago, right after I moved to the states from Japan to be with my now husband who I had a long distance relationship with for 6 years. I'm happy with the dicision that I made, but I had to leave my family, friends, and career behind, and starting my life all over again in the U.S. was very difficult for me at the beginning. I think this tremendous amount of stress triggered all these bad flares that I've had.At first, I had no idea what was causing me such bad diarreah, let alone what IBS was. Imodium usually worked, but on my bad days, I lost my body fluids so fast that I nearly passed out from dehydration and ended up being rushed to an urgent care and getting an IV fluids. Back then, I didn't have an American health insurance, so I couldn't afford to see a doctor here, which only worsened my fear, and I had to rely on the IBS books sold at book stores. Soon after I started following the high-carb IBS diet introduced in one of the books to settle my sensitive stomach, I started having very weird, diabetic symptoms: I would start feeling cold and shaking and nearly pass out when my blood sugar level dropped a little bit. Also, I started losing weight because I feared having bad flares at work and in public and got anorexic. I'm 5'4" and weighed 105 lbs before IBS, but my weight dropped to 88 lbs at one point, and my body seemed to have stopped functioning at all. I used to eat lots of healthy foods, but the book said these food items could irritate my colon, so I got paranoid about it and decided to avoid them all and to stick with the imbalanced diet. Eating with fear became depressing, and I started avoiding social functions for not wanting to experience a flare or to be a party pooper. This obviously caused me a lot of anxiety, and I started having anxiety attacks and panic attacks very often. They triggered bad flares, of course, and the vicious cycle went on and on... I ended up taking a 3-month time off from work because I was so fragile and exhausted mentally and physically that I couldn't leave the house (well, the bathroom) any more. My husbad has been an incredible support system, and meeting my doctor 6 months ago has helped me understand my IBS. I'm no longer on the crazy high-carb diet (no more shaking and passing out), and now I weigh 96 lbs (10 more to go..!!) I was also able to come back to work and got a better position, which helped restore a lot of confidence in myself. However, when it comes to battling with the symptoms, not having my family and best friends around has been very difficult, and I'm still having a hard time keeping my IBS symptoms, anxiety and panick attacks at bay. I visit my family and friends with my husband once a year, and I'm so excited that I'll get to see them again soon, but at the same time, I'm horrified about the 12-hour flights and all the appointments I have made with my loved ones. I really miss socializing, traveling, and living my life without having fear of IBS, anxiety, and panick attacks. I miss being able to meet new people and make friends. I miss being ME. My husband has been very understanding and supportive, but I'm scared that he might get sick of me because we've had to cancel so many fun appointments and functions because of my unstable health. Also, I'm afraid of losing my career again. My boss and most of my co-workers know that I have IBS, but not many of them know how serious it can be (I'm too embarrassed to fill them in on the details), and I don't want them to think of me as an irresponsible, unreliable person.. I know I should stay positive and keep focusing on the good things in my life, and I hate admitting my weakness like this.. The truth is, time to time, it gets overwhelming, and I feel hopeless. This is where I am right now in my IBS life, and I hope you can understand or relate to what I'm going through...Thanks for taking the time to read my story!P.S. I've been taking Align Probiotics, but I don't think it's working well.. Do you know any good probiotics that work well for diarrhea and bloating?


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## maitland (Dec 23, 2011)

Kumes said:


> Hello,I'm so devastated by my IBS and the vicious cycle that I decided to share my story and ask for your help and support. I'm 33 and have had IBS-D for the last 3 years. I had always been a very active, sociable person, but these last 2 years have been very difficult for me, and I'm sick of being trapped in this horrible place.I started having very bad, severe flares about 2 years ago, right after I moved to the states from Japan to be with my now husband who I had a long distance relationship with for 6 years. I'm happy with the dicision that I made, but I had to leave my family, friends, and career behind, and starting my life all over again in the U.S. was very difficult for me at the beginning. I think this tremendous amount of stress triggered all these bad flares that I've had.At first, I had no idea what was causing me such bad diarreah, let alone what IBS was. Imodium usually worked, but on my bad days, I lost my body fluids so fast that I nearly passed out from dehydration and ended up being rushed to an urgent care and getting an IV fluids. Back then, I didn't have an American health insurance, so I couldn't afford to see a doctor here, which only worsened my fear, and I had to rely on the IBS books sold at book stores. Soon after I started following the high-carb IBS diet introduced in one of the books to settle my sensitive stomach, I started having very weird, diabetic symptoms: I would start feeling cold and shaking and nearly pass out when my blood sugar level dropped a little bit. Also, I started losing weight because I feared having bad flares at work and in public and got anorexic. I'm 5'4" and weighed 105 lbs before IBS, but my weight dropped to 88 lbs at one point, and my body seemed to have stopped functioning at all. I used to eat lots of healthy foods, but the book said these food items could irritate my colon, so I got paranoid about it and decided to avoid them all and to stick with the imbalanced diet. Eating with fear became depressing, and I started avoiding social functions for not wanting to experience a flare or to be a party pooper. This obviously caused me a lot of anxiety, and I started having anxiety attacks and panic attacks very often. They triggered bad flares, of course, and the vicious cycle went on and on... I ended up taking a 3-month time off from work because I was so fragile and exhausted mentally and physically that I couldn't leave the house (well, the bathroom) any more. My husbad has been an incredible support system, and meeting my doctor 6 months ago has helped me understand my IBS. I'm no longer on the crazy high-carb diet (no more shaking and passing out), and now I weigh 96 lbs (10 more to go..!!) I was also able to come back to work and got a better position, which helped restore a lot of confidence in myself. However, when it comes to battling with the symptoms, not having my family and best friends around has been very difficult, and I'm still having a hard time keeping my IBS symptoms, anxiety and panick attacks at bay. I visit my family and friends with my husband once a year, and I'm so excited that I'll get to see them again soon, but at the same time, I'm horrified about the 12-hour flights and all the appointments I have made with my loved ones. I really miss socializing, traveling, and living my life without having fear of IBS, anxiety, and panick attacks. I miss being able to meet new people and make friends. I miss being ME. My husband has been very understanding and supportive, but I'm scared that he might get sick of me because we've had to cancel so many fun appointments and functions because of my unstable health. Also, I'm afraid of losing my career again. My boss and most of my co-workers know that I have IBS, but not many of them know how serious it can be (I'm too embarrassed to fill them in on the details), and I don't want them to think of me as an irresponsible, unreliable person.. I know I should stay positive and keep focusing on the good things in my life, and I hate admitting my weakness like this.. The truth is, time to time, it gets overwhelming, and I feel hopeless. This is where I am right now in my IBS life, and I hope you can understand or relate to what I'm going through...Thanks for taking the time to read my story!P.S. I've been taking Align Probiotics, but I don't think it's working well.. Do you know any good probiotics that work well for diarrhea and bloating?


hi dev...i miss being "me" too.... i guess you experienced a lot of stress and a major diet change when you re-located and i gather, like myself, this thing started one day and then has never gone away; i recently started 10mg of paxil a day and there is quite an improvement, it took a few weeks and i got frustrated because they make you drowsy so some days i split it in half and just take 5mg but they kicked in after a few more weeks and now i go once or twice a day and my imodium intake is way way down, i still have cramps and gas but the big d which is the biggest problem is under control, i am looking into this fodmap diet and am still experimenting, for me this battle has been over 6 years and this is the first small relief i have experienced in all that time, i was very against antidepressants and was talked in to taking them mostly out of sheer desperation....to be honest my fears were, for the most part, totally unfounded. your friend. maitland


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## BQ (May 22, 2000)

Have you tried imodium for your Diarrhea?? I used it preventatively WITH meals with an anti-gas agent (to prevent the cramping that can sometimes happen with imodium.).Have you tried taking Calcium Carbonate supplements.. (See the 1st page of the "Linda's Calcium" thread thumbtacked to the top of the Diarrhea Forum for the instructions)Have you sought any treatment for your anxiety or panic attacks?? Meet with w Mental Health professional and get some help hon.


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