# IBS sucks... majorly...



## timgermain (Mar 15, 2012)

I started getting symptoms as a Senior in college. Before that, I was healthy and doing really well in school... dean's list, enjoying my time, learning, networking. Senior year came and I started feeling genearlly unwell. Terribly fatigued, brain fog, gastro issues... simply felt irregular. I finished my senior year (20 credits) by crawling past the finish line, but I did finish. Ended up going the next two years without a diagnosis for what would become my normal life and a chronic illness. Something had wrecked my body and I had no idea what it was. Recently diagnosed with H Pylori : Treated it with Pylera -- noticed my SIBO got better.Working on diagnoises for SIBO : when i was on abx, my constipation and pain was less. I felt loose in my bowels.Essentially... every single day is a battle. Every single day has become this for me: "What and the hell should I eat today? What can my body handle? If I eat this, will it stay in my small bowel for the next 4 hours and cause nausea and obstructive pain?" Literally... every moment in every day revolves around my digestive system and how it is functioning. It is a constant struggle to find answers and maintain a regularity. I am still working on getting a definitive diagnosis regarding IBD, but at this point... my gastro doctor has diagnosed IBS-C after an endoscopy and much blood work which came out pretty normal. I have high bilirubin levels: Gilbert's syndromI have H Pylori bacteria in the stomachNo inflammation markersCeliac Biopsy negative (aunt has celiac -- other maternal aunt has crohns)My mom's side ALL have digestive issues. My g-pa died of esophageal / stomach cancer at 59. Same with his brother. So there is defintatly a genetic / environmental thing going on. Anyways... what I am trying to say is this:I went 21 years with great health. I was ambitious as heck, I was planning on going to law school after undergraduate work... I was planning on owning a law firm and making a good life for a prospective family. Over the past two years, when all of this pain started (and I can remember when it started to the hour) however, I have watched a HUGE amout of my energy be diverted from pursuing my academic and career ambitions to finding a diagnosis and cure for a chronic digestive disease. And a debilitating disease at that. Some say IBS is a "cakewalk" disease or whatever... but I will testify that it is as painful / disruptive / emotionally debilitating / pervasive as any chronic illness. In fact, some of the symptoms I have had because of my brain-gut dysfunction have been UNBELIEVABLE: brain fog, drunk-feeling, nauseau, toxic feeling in my gut, gastritis, dyspepsia, bloating, constipation, itching, pretty much like there is an organism living in my body that is sucking all of the life out of me while I am left as a passanger with my energy. So... here I am about to turn 25 at the end of May... and I am walking a tight-rope. I am working full-time at a law firm as a legal assistant, and have been trying to now make new life goals / plans with this seemingly relentless limitation. I thought that after 2.5 years of this nonesense that something would give. To this day, I have my good and bad days... but the disease is still very much a huge part of my life. I am not sure what and the heck caused this... but at this point I feel like its a mix of GASTEROPERESIS + SIBO + BRAIN-GUT Dysfunction.I've modified my diet, exercised, doing what I can to maintain balance. I am now at the point in the disease where I have accepted whats going on, have had a diagnosis, my doc says that its a fucntional disease as all my bloodwork and other labs are normal, it won't kill me, it is not going anywhere, its a part of my new life, so I have to now deal with it and make plans accordingly.So... I have student loans, rent, life... and all of these pursuits that once looked so enticing to a 21 year old (law school, professionalism, family, money, security, enjoyment) now seem totally fruitless in the face of how I am feeling physically, mentally, and emotionally. I am not totally lost. I still find strength in my condition, but I am just not my old self. And the thing is, is that now... the things that make my condition really bad are living stressful lives, working harsh hours, rush-hour traffic, just the normal things that I would otherwise never have been affected by... now, those stressors cause really bad IBS symptoms... and its like, "well, now what? The life I was pursuing is now proving to be a burden on my new body. What do I do, where do I go from here?"Part of me wants to quit American life forever and just retreat to a cabin... and heal. I just find that the entire prospect of the "american dream" i was pursuing (eagerly and wantingly) is now fruitless and will do nothing but cause more pain and unbalance (which us IBS people know is the root of all evil). I don't know... Im just venting I guess to others. We all know how absurd this disease is. It is so painful and mentally exhausting to constnatly worry about what foods will cause me to feel like I am dying for the next 6 hours, or whether or not my stomach will feel like a vice grip, or I will have regular bowel movements, or if I will feel drained and fatigued because my body is getting attacked by god-knows-what (leaky gut..sibo.. i just dont know!). And above all.. no cure, no answers... I dunno, its just frustrating to a driven person to be held back by myself. BUT... I am not dead, could be worse... I get that... and I am trying to find that silver lining as I move forward. Any recommendations or advice are welcome... I'd love to listen and relate to other's issues, re: young adult things. Thanks,Tim


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## blueivysun (Mar 20, 2012)

Hi, I'm sorry to hear about how hard this condition is for you and probably everyone that has it. I feel it really does limit us in one way or another. But we can't give up. I can't really think of any advice right now, but I wanted to just let you know that u are not alone and to never give up


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