# Feeling of hopelessness ..this is pretty long



## rose82 (Oct 17, 2004)

Hi my name is Rose and im 21..and i have ibs-d more than c..but i do get c...the problem ive been having is..that i dont know what it is to have fun anymore because of this horrible disorder...i have anxiety too which makes it a lot worse..and i dont know what to do anymore..i know a lot of it is mental.. i cant go out without thinking in the back of my head.."is my stomach going to go off on me at the most inopportune moment"..so im just constantly worried that even the blandest, plainest food will set me off..because it has.. i was using a lot of over the counter stuff..doctor said i just need more fiber...I honestly just dont know what to do anymore..i always feel tense and anxious..and that worsens the condition..my life is literally restriced to being home, running errands nearby my house..and going to work and school.. If I do need to drive a long distance..or go on a trip..or whatever..(something thats not close to my house)..I just starve myself till we get to the destination..and i only eat very minimally..Like over the summer I went to Canada, it was an 8 hour ride..and I didnt eat till we got there..I felt like i was going to pass out..but I just didnt want to risk having D....i just feel like its hopeless and I dont know what to do anymore ..please help







sometimes when i go to the bathroom..i feel extremely nauseous after im done.. or even after i eat something..and burping alleviates the feeling but i dont understand why this happens.. this is just extremely difficult for me to deal with because it seems like i cant eat anything anymore...and i think i may be hypoglycemic..i will find out soon..and if thats the case..then my diet will really have to be maintained.. I just dont understand my body..sometimes I'll eat something im not supposed to eat..and ill be fine..and sometimes ill eat something i can eat..and it'll go off...it's very depressed..i cant go to places that have a lot of people..its like a whole process in my head before i go out..i have to know how long it takes to get there, if there are enough bathrooms, if theres traffic..i panic.. if there are a lot of people i panic and need to leave.. it's just getting to a point where its just ridiculous and i cant take it anymore..its constantly in the back of my head..the worry and the anxiety.. and my boyfriend who i just got back together with of 4 years..this was 1 of the reasons he broke up with me..and now that we're back together..the anxiety of him leaving me again bc of this also adds on top of everything..but he says he'll be supportive and be there for me.. i also feel like im a burden to people..i want to push everyone away..because i dont want anyone to have to be frustrated with me or upset with me when i cancel plans.. its just very difficult... I'm lactose intolerant, i cannot eat spicy, greasy or oily foods. Edited to add the "ps" part of the post (TheModTeam).


----------



## AntonioRI (Sep 30, 2002)

I can promise you, Rose, it will get better. I was pretty much housebound for a couple years from IBS, and now I can't remember the last time I had an attack! Work with your doctor, this board, etc. to find what works for you. It is manageable. The most important thing is to FIGHT! IBS didn't come under control for me until I decided I would no longer let it control my life!


----------



## rose82 (Oct 17, 2004)

thank you..i just feel like its hopeless sometimes..and i just cry sometimes because its just so hard to have a NORMAL life.. to be able to go out and not think..oh my god what am i gonna do..im hungry..what should i eat..can i eat? ..or am i going to have an attack..? so many questions go through my head before i go out...its insane..i just feel like giving up but i dont want to


----------



## AntonioRI (Sep 30, 2002)

I remember the feeling! I went for a long time eating the same thing every day. Oatmeal toast and peanutbutter for breakfast with a glass of skim milk -- skinless, roasted chicken breast, peas, and rice for lunch and dinner. *sigh* Now I eat whatever I want







Have you seen a therapist who specializes in IBS/anxiety. I did briefly and it helped alot. One of the things I did is to go out and NOT ignore my fears of having an attack. Concentrate on it, think about the worst case scenario but force myself to not leave and force myself not to go to the bathroom unless I absolutely couldn't anymore. Eventually, the anxiety over IBS left me (with a little extra help from Lexapro). IBS is a self-feeding disorder. IBS causes anxiety. Anxiety triggers and increases IBS symptoms.


----------



## FastLane (Dec 9, 2003)

I am also 21 and I have been suffering from IBS-C and D since I was 13. I also have gone through bouts of major anxiety with going on trips or out with friends where bathrooms werent readily available. The worst was always flying. I'd always insist on an aisle seat, and even then, like you, I wouldnt eat anything until the trip was over no matter how faint I felt. My advice is to first get the anxiety under contol, because anxiety also makes IBS worse. Try doing some mental self talk. Tell yourself that the worst thing is you need to go to the bathroom and the person driving has to stop, and realize that it really isnt that bad. Are these people really going to hate you because of it? Likely not, and even more likely they will feel bad for you and be really nice. If self talk doesnt work, you might want to try taking an SSRI anti-depressant for anxiety. The have even approved (I think, I know it has become treatment but maybe its not approved) Prozac and other SSRIs as treatment for IBS. And they do work at least some. I went through , and I would say most IBS sufferers have, what you are going through and sometimes I still do. That was how I was first diagnosed with IBS. When I was in middle school I got sick all the time when I ate, so I just stopped eating and never went out with friends. I lost 25 pounds and my period stopped so my mom took me to the docotr, who proceded to try to beat a confession of anoerexia out of me. It took me a year of that before we found a doctor who helped me out.But I have been able to have friendships and boyfriends since then, and so can you. Take small steps. Doing this that are safe first, but trying to spend more and more time out each week. You will build confidence and though you may get sick when you are out, you will learn that its not that bad to sit in a public bathroom for an hour really. And maybe even when you are done you can go back out and have more fun!Also, about the fiber, it has been my one saving grace except for drugs. Try Amy's frozen organic dinners bean enchiladas, kashi go lean frozen waffles, barbaras cerals all are high fiber, and learn to eat whole wheat pasta. Armed with a hanful of really high fiber foods for dinner and breakfast, you can probably still eat anything you want for lunch. And the important thing is not to stop eating the fiber when you get D, because it will help both C and D. If you get gassy from the fiber (add it slowly at first) take beano with your meals. Stay strong, because you can and will learn to have a fulfilling life regardless of IBS


----------



## rarr (Nov 2, 2003)

Hey Rose, I hear ya girl..I'm 20 and have been battling w/ IBS for years. It didn't get really bad until my 1st year of university...I am now in my 3rd year and still trying to manage it...since 1st yr I have come to accept a lot about it and I've learned a lot..this board helps a lot too. Ive seen nutritionists, GI's, doctors over and over again, done the alternative therapy, regular therapy, Mike's CD's, and drugs. I was exactly like you and still am to some point, but I am slowly gaining control and now realize that it's not the end of the world. I remember sitting in class starving b/c I was too afraid to eat for fear that I might get sick..so I'd just watch my friends and everyone else eating whatever whenever and thinking about how they weren't even worrying or spending time thinking about what it is we have to deal with. but now I don't try to think about that b/c that's not going to get me anywhere. everyone has things that they're dealing with and just think we could be worse. at least we have something that ultimately w/ the right treatment...we can control. For myself I have found that a certain diet has really helped (Heather Van Vorous' IBS books) and making sure to eat a little something at least every 3 hrs...it was hard, but I faught to eat even when I didn't feel like it or was too scared too b/c I was losing too much weight and I just felt horrible. I've had my eating under control for 2 yrs now..(I'm a nutrition student) but still had problems with the D and I was still scared about going out and even being in a relationship...so I pushed all of my friends away and stuck w/ one best friend who was also my roomate b/c she understood and I was comfortable w/ her...but she had to leave b/c of her mom being ill and I am now living alone and extremely lonely b/c I pushed everyone away and I'm not comfortable/confident enough to start hanging out w/ those friends again or to make new ones. so I brokedown..the anxiety, the worry, the depression finally won...I didn't go a day w/o crying, w/o my body shaking uncontrollably...I was so lost. I e-mailed my parents exaplaining to them that i couldn't do it all anymore and I wanted to leave school...this was very hard for me b/c I love uni. and this also didn't fit into my perfectionist plan for my life...but b/c I was at rock-bottom...I was just so scared. so my mom came to see me (4hrs away) and we went to see my doctor...where I cried and cried...and they decided to put me on Paxil...an SSRI anti-depressent also used for anxiety...and I feel much better...I no longer feel like it is the end of the world...I usually only get sick when it's that time of the month now...so it has made a huge difference..i went through some side-effects..and still am..but I want to stick w/ it b/c I feel so much calmer..and happier..and the crying spells have gone away. I also got a chance to try out some alternative therapies which I loved...so I think I'll keep going regularly. regular therapists don't work for me personally...but some ppl find them helpful. I'm just taking baby-steps now and trying to put a smile on face and trying to enjoy everything little thing out of every little day that life has to offer. best of luck.feel free to message me anytime.K


----------



## yaboozaboo (Oct 20, 2004)

Hi, I'm 20 years old, in my 2nd year of college. I was recently diagnosed with Adult ADD and depression,. Along with battling those problems, I've had IBS. For years I've been having bad stomach pains, bloating, diarrhea and contipation. Every time I go out with friends, especially boys, I have problems having to go at inappropriate and embarrassing times. Either I can't go, and feel like I have to, or I go too much. Having both problems really makes it confusing "What is my tummy going to do today?" Well, I went to the doctor recently and he prescribed me Strattera for my ADD. It has significantly stopped my depression and is helping my ADD. But it has also been helping my IBS. Although, its making me slightly constipated, side effects should wear off in a week or so. I can actually leave the house! I don't have tummy aches like I do everyday! I'm not as bloated either. I feel amazing! I guess anti-depressants can help IBS, but most anti-depressants like zoloft and Paxil, make depression worse and have been shown to increase the rate of suicide. Strattera isn't like these drugs. I think its exclusively SSRIs, but i'm not sure. There are other tpyes of anit-depressants that can help bowel disorders. I'm not much of a medication enthusiast, but after having years of pain and embarrassment, this is the most effective thing yet! I can live for once!


----------

