# IBS/sex nightmare



## 14943 (Jan 23, 2006)

Unfortunately, this really happened. I am 22 and female, been dealing with IBS for about 5 years. I have a lovely combination of constipation, diarreah and gas. For a long time I was anxious that one day during (vaginal) sex I'll get a leak from behind when my bowls are loose. I stopped worrying about it after so many times that I felt it might happen and it didn't. Until two days ago, when my unsuspecting boyfriend pointed out an awful stain on his sheets right after we had sex.The one thing I have to be grateful for is that this happened with my (very gracious) boyfriend, and not back at a time when I was apt to sleep with someone I'm not necessarily committed to, and can't laught it off with me.But I still want to hide under a rock, and am very nervous about having sex with him again. I can't imagine there's a whole lot that I can do, although advice/empathy would be greatly appreciated.


----------



## 17124 (Jan 23, 2006)

My husband and I rarely have sex anymore because of my IBS. Between the smelly gas, the bloating, and the feeling that someone is twisting my insides, I don't want anyone near me! My husband is wonderful, but I know with some especially bad gas days he gets frustrated and threatens to sleep in the guest room!


----------



## 18486 (Jan 22, 2006)

I think I can help both of you. First let me say you both have great boyfriends. My wife has done that to me by accident so I know how you feel, and i know how your boyfriend feels. I dont want to sound sick, but its really no big deal. If anything me, as a man takes it as a compilment! I take it as Im so good, you lose your train of thought, that says alot about me the man, thank you! My wife never wanted to have sex again after it happen, but when I told her how I feel, and that i love her no matter what, she doesnt feel so bad about it anymore.


----------



## 14248 (Oct 8, 2005)

'The joy of sex' - must of been written by someone without IBS! I wouldn't like to sound like a bad 'advice column' but maybe until you get comfortable again you guys could do everything (make you own limits) except actually have intercourse!?! Then when you feel comfortable about it (and he's so eager) to have actual sex again either A- he be so happy he won't notice anything {*if* it happens again} and you can change then sheets b4 he does or B - he will realise how embarassed you were last time and not point it out but surprise you by changing the sheets himself b4 you notice! Overall if he isn't put off you by it, smile and carry on with life - males in general seem to have a wider tolerance to bodily functions than females.







Good luck.


----------



## 21973 (Jun 28, 2005)

hey julianayou are very lucky to have a boyfriend whos caring and understanding, and is able to laugh with you and not at you. and despite that all that "excess drainage" from your rear, you guys are still able to have sex!!I remember this one time where i wore a sexy top and short skirt (with a thong). I knew i looked good and showed it off. but at the same time, I would have "the wet farts" spray out of nowhere. the guy noticed it, and the worse part is, i see him around campus and even though it happened a couple of years ago, he brings it up. what an ass!


----------



## 22144 (Aug 6, 2005)

My new g/f says she's understanding, but we'll see...


----------



## Nikki (Jul 11, 2000)

ican't imagine how that would feel... so i can't really help. But sex terrfies me for many reasons, one of the "smaller" reasons is my IBS. THe rest is another story!


----------



## 14943 (Jan 23, 2006)

Update...So thanks for the advice and understanding words! The sheet changing I'm afraid is impractical because so far, this has happened at his house, and it'd be tough either way to do it without him noticing. So since then, we had sex again. One time was totally fine and the following I thought I was in the clear, but last minute found out that I wasn't. He seems not to care at all - he even seems surprised when I try to put something under myself, or when I ask him NOT to look while I clean up the sheets. That helps, but it's still a big crutch to feel like I have to limit myself to certain things and positions out of fear, and to rush to get dressed just to be sure that nothing leaks right afterwards (as it had.)Some of the responders here were guys, I noticed - and I'm curious, what is the concern for a guy with IBS? In my case I can tell that my guts are being moved around during penetration and that's where the leakage may come from, but for a guy (during heterosexual intercourse at least) this wouldn't really be a problem, would it? Sorry for the graphics.


----------



## 14416 (Jun 21, 2005)

Juliana, I'm a male IBS-D sufferer.This has never happened with my girlfriend.Usually that's the one time I can take my mind off of IBS!So sorry you went through this....Truthfully, as a guy, I would not care at all if this happened to my girlfriend. Especially if there is love involved in the relationship; that type of stuff doesn't make a person love you less.


----------



## 17176 (Mar 31, 2005)

sorry you are having a hard time julia, i tend to agree with grant it makes a lot of sense.. my sex life has never really suffered as a result, but a lot of the time im too tired.. good luck im sure things will work out for you and youe partner..


----------

