# IBS & life at university



## linnie (Jan 7, 2002)

hi, i'm a new posting here and thought i would introduce myself. i've had IBS since high school (seems to result from this one time when i ate a ton of watermelon and then got sick) and am now a first year student at university like many others here. everything you say about quiet classrooms, not being able to do social activities like see movies, always having to watch what you eat...these things are all too familiar to me!balancing IBS with exams at uni is so hard, but one way i've had a bit of success is with my school's office for students with disabilities. i was dreading taking my finals in the big gyms, but i registered with my school's office and they've been pretty understanding--i take my exams now in a small room with one or two others, and i can take a break whenever. so sure, it doesn't fix my IBS but it sure makes life a hell of a lot less stressful during exam time...i can actually worry about studying and not just my stomach







so to anyone else who's worried about exams but hasn't explored that option, i reccomend it. here's a question--having done the biomedicine/dr. route for a while with no improvements, i recently saw a acupunturist/trad. chinese medicine person. i won't go into the herbs she's given me (not sure if these actually do anything...) but i've also been advised to stick to a low carb, wheat free diet. does anyone else do this? i can believe what she's saying, but it's certainly hard to adhere to, the school dining hall is not exactly sensitive to my very specific needs







lastly, people talk about having relationships while at the same time dealing with IBS...i don't have much expertise here, so any advice would be great. i'm possibly about to get into a relationship, but my IBS is the thing holding me back. it's hard when he comes by to talk and i have to kick him out because my stomach is making absurd noises that are really embarassing...and it all comes off as i'm not interested of course. how do you tell someone about this kind of stuff?? i mean i know the advice is to just tell him. but what do you say, how should you ease into it...it's hard to go in detail with IBS, it can kinda freak people out! i feel pretty alone about it, because none of my friends know. if only the world understood IBS...that'll be the day. well if anyone has insight into that please post or email me.one last thing--i suppose one positive aspect of IBS (in a weird twisted way) is that it's made me realize how much people can take for granted. who among my friends wakes up and is greatful that their digestive system functions properly? if i ever got rid of IBS that'd be me every morning for the rest of my life, i assure you that.







or how about seeing some kid in class scarf down chips or a candy bar, knwoing that if you did that your stomach would be a mess the whole class? who appreciates being able to sit in quiet, albeit a movie theatre or a play or a classroom whatever, without having to worry about their stomach? probably few people but IBSers! do people who don't even know what IBS is know how lucky they are?? course not. but while my digestive system might be way out of wack, it makes me appreciate the other parts of me that are still healthy. who knows what some other people have to put up with. we can take so much for granted!if you've made it this far, thanks for listening! it's great to find people who really know what i'm talking about.. anyone who wants to chat feel free to drop a line.


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## Silverlight (Jan 18, 2002)

Hi there,juz wanna let u know that wat u said is exactly how i feel. i mean, my perfect day would be to wake up and be able to go to class, go to the movies, go out for dinner and not have to worry about my stomach..juz to be able to feel relaxed for once n enjoy the normal things that people take for granted! It's a struggle n sometimes u feel very tired of having to keep things up, especially when your friends and people around you do not have any idea wat you are going through. But, somehow or other, I managed to find the strength adn hope to carry on with things, and it helps alot if you have support from close ones.Anyway, about relationships, I don't have any specific advise, but just like to share my experience with u. I only told my BF about my ibs after a year when i felt that i couldn't (n shouldn't) hide it from him (after all, how long can u hide somehin like tat!)..it was difficult coz i was afraid..but he has been really great and supportive about it...though initiallly, it was hard for him to understand how it really affected me...(he thought a pll would do the trick)..n of course it was frustrating when we couldn't go places becoz of me...but we got through all that n have learnt to cope with it together...whether or not i shoulnd't have hid it from him in the beginning i do not know, n only u can decide the right time to let him know. For me, it was when I felt our relationship was stable. It was not so much that i chose not to tell him, but having kept it to myself for so long, it was almost a normal lifestyle to me (know wat i mean?), n it didn';t even cross my mind to tell him until i felt it getting worse n the thought tat he didn't know kept bugging me..sorry if i'm rambling..!-


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## Silverlight (Jan 18, 2002)

oh, and i know how difficult it is to tell someone about something like ibs. It may seem like an embarrassing thing to discuss. Specifically, wat i did was to first tell him briefly about it to see how he would take it, then after awhile, when he had time time to digest all that, told him more about it! Good luck!


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## jnpeck (Jan 23, 2002)

I feel like I am hiding out in my dorm room sometimes because no one else really understands. Plus, I feel weird about having really bad D in the dorm bathroom. I feel like everyone around knows I have a problem, but they just think I am weird or something. sometimes I wish I could live at home and commute. Then again, that would be worse. It is a no win situation.


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## Kitty19HasIBS (Jan 8, 2002)

i tried the acupuncture and well it worked really good for me but now i moved and cant seem to make it back to my home town on the days that she works and i really don't want to go to yet another doctor she's also an MD so it eases my mind as far as the herbs there was about 70 to take and well taking that many made me feel sick so i never took them and i still got better and as far as quiet rooms my stomach growls in my 2nd and 4th hr annoying but hey what can i do its either that or i stay home sick from eating not like ill see these ppl again so oh well right?


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## morningglory (Jan 3, 2002)

one thing that i really struggle with is having to get up 3 hours early so i have time to have really bad d before going to classes. my roommate must think i'm such a nut! and the dorm bathrooms are a whole other story.... i agree with you. most people just really don't know how lucky they are.


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## Blackcat (Sep 1, 2001)

I hear you. I am in my second year at a university and after a year at the dorms I had to get out!!! Now I am in a apartment that I share a bathroom with 2 other girls and can take all the time I want in the bathroom







They all understand. That is the important part is to surround yourself with people who understand. I am also very lucky becuase I also have a boyfriend (long-distance) who is very understanding of my IBS. In fact he farts almost as much as I do







It was when I went away to college that I took control of my IBS. I have had it since I was 12 and never really understood. When I was away from the stress of my family I could focus on what triggered my D and C. I have gone to so many websites and taken advice from many and it has finally showed results.







(Thanks you all) I just want to say that I believe that there is hope for all of us. I have started a daily regeme of Fiber, peppermint, and acidopholis (sorry for bad spelling) along with a low saturated fat diet. Which seems to be helping. Also I do yoga which seems to help me focus where I am holding my tention..my digestive tract. Anyway I just wanted to give you all props for being so strong and being able to share your stories, problems, and solutions.







You made my dayLove, Amanda


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## sand (Jul 3, 2001)

Hi, I'm also at university and thankfully living in an apartment. My friends are cool about understanding when I'm not feeling well...I usually tell them that "I have a stomach problem." My roommate even noticed that my breathing changes when I'm sick, so she no longer even has to ask if I'm not feeling well!The last two weeks have been rough, since the IBS and another health problem have combined to make me feel really ill. I've been oversleeping and missing classes. I haven't found any good means of controlling the pain that I have. I'm not good at managing my stress. I have a position on my university's programming board, plus some very difficult classes (400 level) and I am one of those people who worries a lot. It can be tough.Thanks for letting me share! It's good to have a site like this; I only wish medicine had more to offer us.~Sand


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## hollynicohle (Feb 10, 2002)

I'm waiting to have a colonoscopy to determine for sure what I have...but my symptoms are that of IBS. I am a senior this year at Purdue. This semester is when all my problems started. It is a big campus, and so far, I haven't even been able to make it from my dorm to class (a half hour walk). I feel like I need to tie a toilet to myself! It is really difficult being at school, especially in a dorm, where the food I eat is basically all planned for me. Lately, I found myself retreating to my room for days and eating canned soup, as opposed to cafeteria food which is greasy and spicey. Since my problem just started, and I am going through so many tests right now, I find myself missing more days of class than I can keep up with. Right now, I'm withdrawing for the semester, while I get this diagnosed and under control....it is so difficult.My friends know I'm sick right now...they think it is stomach trouble. I feel like they can't understand because I can't tell them the truth. I mean, there is a big difference between an upset stomach and diarrhea all day long. I think they think I am being a baby about it (but that's my fault for telling them a lie). I just can't tell everyone I have chronic diarrhea and face them later! My boyfriend is supportive, he understands, and I can tell him what is actually wrong with me (though at first I told him the "tummy trouble" lie too). I finally told him I was embarrassed about the real problem, and he stressed how much I don't need to be embarrassed about anything. I think any mature man would be as understanding. It is a medical problem, and no medical problem is pretty! I'm trying to convince myself that I should be as comfortable saying diarrhea as I am saying headache. But it's not easy!


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## sand (Jul 3, 2001)

nicohle, I'm so sorry to hear that you're having a hard time. Please let us know how it goes, and I really hope you can get some kind of control over your symptoms.


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## TheFutureIsClear (Feb 19, 2002)

linnie thank you so much for that advice on the diabilities. it will help me bc i am off to U next year! and veery nervous about that! i had even considered takeing online courses. ibs has taken over my life as well it seems! i had to take the act/sat this year, and because of my stupid yucky annoyning ibs i never even took the sat, i was so scared. i took the act only once--- and walked out of it the second time. i HATE quiet classrooms. they kill me. i cannot tell you how many times i have left a classroom and fled to the bathroom, clinic, even just the hallway to catch my breath. one teahcer i have has a quiet classroom constantly and i dont know how she can do it. also, i can totally relate with the relationships thing. this one guy would come over occasionlly and EVERY TIME i unfortuently had to make some lame excuse so he would leave bc of my stomach. finally he just said, "it seems you _try_ to kick me out!" i was stunned! i wish stupid ibs would just go away. i cannot even remember how many movies i have "walked out" on bc of it. countless, absoloutly countless. in fact i think the only movie in the history since ive had this that ive made it through was Legally Blond and i remember i was so proud of my stomach for that. i agree, if i could get a guarentee from the Stomach God that my ibs / stomach / d.t would never bother me again i would be so happy! i would see movies, go to plays, take the SAT for FUN just because i could!!! i would date, register for courses, go on a long road trip, fly to europe!! live in a dorm, go camping, to parties, everywhere! life would be bliss. ::sigh:: but thinking of all that now just makes me depressed. )-:


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## Cdn chiq (Feb 20, 2002)

Hi,I'm new to this help group and I think its great! Other people who go to college or university who KNOW what I go through! I go to college in New Westminster. I have had IBS for a long time now, but only last month went to the doc about it. I realized that when I'm a teacher, I can't just leave the classroom at anytime to go to the bathroom for 1/2 hour or more. The IBS was starting to disrupt my time in class, and I didn't want that anymore... turns out there's not much I can do about it anyway!







What do you guys normally avoid eating? I find that just about anything can trigger... usually in the evenings thank goodness (when I'm usually home). I find beef doesn't agree and apples, but it happens also when I eat other things, but I havn't noticed a pattern. Please let me know!Rebecca


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## missbonnie (Feb 12, 2000)

I am 24 now and out of college a couple of years, but I went to sleepaway college in Maryland (I am from NY), and I did fine. I graduated in the 4 years, not more! I went to parties, hung out with friends all the time, and had a lot of friends, and got good grades. I started going to the GI doctor at age 18, right before going to college. I had some bad attacks in college, but most of them were right after finals when I was home on break anyway, so I did not have to worry in the dorms or anything. I ate as healthy as I could in the dining hall, and when I was in the third year I moved off-campus into a house and did my own cooking, which helped. But then I got into a very stressful relationship for a year and a half, until right after I graduated, and I finally ended it, way too late though!! Should have ended earlier. Anyway, it got better after that. Try not to stress too much. You will get through!!


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## British Tara (Aug 5, 2000)

Hi there!I 20 years old and am in my final year at Reading University in the UK. I can relate to all of you on here. I got IBS just before I came to Uni and it was made worse by the awful, low grade food I had in Halls. My advice to anyone about to go to Uni with IBS, is make sure you get yourself in a self catering hall.I think it is a good idea to tell people what is wrong with you. Most people have heard what IBS and most are too polite to ask for details! I started off telling people that I have a stomach problem and most don't want to know much more than that. As my wonderful boyfriend always says, "Everyone has had an an upset stomach sometime" so they will understand, even on a basic level. If your friends don't get it and aren't sympathetic then get rid of them! I had a few probs with my best mate (of all people) as she just didn't get why I would have to cancel on her (some people are a little slow!). Eventually she stopped taking it personally and realised it was more than just my social life that was suffering! I wish everyone well, and feel free to e-mail me sometime if you want an IBS buddy to share your woes with.T xxx


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## fiona26 (Dec 12, 2001)

hey there. im in my final year at high school and am going to uni next year and im basically freaking out! The thought of living in halls with people I don`t know and constantly running off to the bathroom terrifies me. I keep imagining all these scenarios in my head e.g sitting in a lecture in the middle of a row and having to run out half way through etc. I really want to go to uni though so I guess I`ll just have to grit my teeth,stock up on a years supply of peppermint tea and get on with it lol. Either that or a miracle cure will be discovered between now and then........


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## pottersclay123 (Feb 7, 2002)

I understand what everyone is saying concerning things like telling friends about the condition and sharing bathrooms. I HATE going to the bathroom when anyone is there... if the sound doesn't scare them, the smell will. And you can only contain it for so long. I try to aim for the least used washrooms at school when I am not feeling so hot.My boyfriend has been wonderful. Actually he is my fiance now. I started getting sick right around when he and I got together. He was there during testing, etc. It was a while before I explained to him what the symptoms were as I was embarrased. Some conditions are definately harder to talk about... IBS is one.He has been wonderful, as I said. He doesn't understand what I go through but he desires to learn. For a long time he used to rag on me for never going anywhere and thinking I was making excuses. He thought I was bulimic for a while because I always went to the bathroom after meals LOL. What a riot that was when I found out he thought that. After he has done much online research and heard from others as well as seeing first hand what I look like rolled up in a sweaty ball wimphing in pain,... he is starting to understand. He says he sometimes prayers that God would take it away from me and give it to him. I don't want that. It has been almost 2 years since I first got the initial symtoms of IBS and just now am I starting to be more comfortable talking about it. Most of my closest friends know. And that is because they deserve to know why I disappear suddenly or go to bed many hours earlier than normal. For everyone else, I just say things like "I'm lactose intolerant." And they are fine with that... usually. Sometimes they probe me more, wanting to know if I take lactaid and stuff. I think my friends that know I have IBS do not understand more than I have problems with my bowels. I don't think they know the physical pain I go through. Tough stuff. Hopefully I'll get over it some day. Be encouraged, you aren't alone. ONce you start talking about it you will learn there are many other girls going through the same or similar things. I met one girl who can't poop. We sometimes laugh about which is worse, too much pooping, or none at all. (she takes A LOT of medication)


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## Aeeda (Nov 27, 2001)

Hi!I was sort of inspired by this thread. This site in general is pretty cool, but I'm especially glad to see so many peers.To answer Linnie's original message (the part about dating,) -- I think it's best telling about this stuff in the very beginning of the relationship. It is true that people take could takes this sort of thing differently and an insensitive reaction can truly hurt, but a relationship where so much is just not worth it. It's enough that we have to deal with bosses, professors and aquaintances. Love relationships should be sincere.I've been with my boyfriend since the good old times before IBS, so I didn't have this problem with him. But I've told other people. I take ballroom dance lessons and my partner and I compete. When the time of my first competition with IBS came, I decided it was time to tell him, because I was afraid I wouldn't make the competition. I was also afraid I'd make it but then have to go while in the middle of the dance floor. I thought telling him would make it more as though we're in this together. And it did! He was very supportive! (The competition went well by the way. A gift from God, I suppose.)


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## Aeeda (Nov 27, 2001)

Hi, Jnpeck!I totally relate to the dorm bathroom thing. I live in the dorm in NYC. The walls are paper thin. I can hear my neighbor blowing his nose. You can imagine what my neighbors can hear! I used to be worried about that, but over the course of the time I've had IBS I've changed a lot. My aunt once said that the older you get, the closer you get to death, and the closer you get to death the less you care about what people think. This is certainly the case with a chronic desease. I have so many real issues to deal with that thinking about whether my neighbors can hear me taking a #### or not is just not my primary concern. Let's say they do. They are not kids. They are not gonna make fun of me for that. They are not gonna think I'm a bad person.


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## christywisty (Mar 12, 2002)

I'd like to assure you that if you have a half decent partner, they'll understand. My boyf is such a sweetie about my illnesses. I try not to let it take control of my life because I want to do so many things, but it's not always that easy as we all know. Fight it for all it's worth, though. I had the worst bout when I was in Paris one summer, and I cannot tell you how many Pepto tablets I ate during that trip just to try and make it disappear. I was so nervous about taking a trip to Europe, but I wanted to go so badly. I wasn't about to let IBS prevent me from my dream.







Best of luck to all of you in college. I'm in my second year, and I found that commuting was a blessing.


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## susanna (Apr 4, 2002)

Hi everyone! I too am new to the list, and basically want to repeat what everyone else said, i understand. I am doing my first year at exeter uni in the uk although im 21. i have had ibs for ages now but when i went away to uni at 20 things got really bad, fast. I went on an exclusion diet but instead of staying on this basic level of boring food for the recommended 2 weeks, istayed on for the whole summer. At the end i tried to reitroduce some food and realised that i had developed a severe reaction to everything. I left my uni, not just cos of ibs and am now doing a course i really enjoy. But ibs marks everything, i was living in self catered halls with a group of girls who i pretty much had to tell, i thought they were so understanding a nice until 3 months ago they announced they didnt want to live with me next year, and pretty much didnt want to know. I moved out and now i commute from home, its ok but sometimes, like now, the pain and bloating get to me. I cant reintroduce food and my diet is so limited. Socialising and all the rest seem a long way away. And to add insult to injury i seem to be gaining weight despite barely eating a thing!Just knowing there are other people with this problem has really helped and if anyone ever needs someone to talk to please e mail me, im here for you and i hope you guys will be there for me. This is tough. But i have to believe it will get betterThanks for reading my ramble!Susan


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