# I just want my health back !



## vanessa6801 (Apr 12, 2014)

I wish I could wake up one of these days, and just be energetic and look forward to the day.

What bothers me more than the embarrassing symptoms of IBS is the fact that I am exhausted all the time- and I do not know whether or not IBS is the cause. My cognitive function has not been too great since I started getting IBS- again I don't know if IBS is the cause.

This is just no way to live.

I'm only 18---- I want to go out, run around, be excited about life again rather than having nothing to look forward to all the time. The feeling of having energy is what I crave---- I want to do something simple like go to a theme park or going shopping for a few hours without feeling utterly drained. I spend most of my spare time and weekends at home---- because I am just so tired and of course because home is where the toilet is 

i do believe that stress is mainly responsible for the fatigue.

I've run out of ideas on how I can improve my IBS symptoms. I'm considering the idea of living in a monastery for a few months or up to a year, so that I can be in a secure and non-stressful environment, and during that time hopefully my body would heal and recover it's harmony. I've had IBS for 2 years, and in that time I've gone back to my hometown twice when I was on holidays. While I was at home with family, I found that my symptoms improved dramatically, and continued to stay that way after the holidays. I know that it is very unlikely that I would go ahead with that plan---- but in theory is it not a good idea?

Can anyone relate to what I have described above?


----------



## Elly_Jelly (Sep 24, 2014)

Hi Vanessa 

I've read your reply to my "story" and i've also read a few of your posts. I'm very sorry that IBS is so horrible for you too, but at the same time i'm glad that I'm not alone. For now I haven't experienced all the symptoms you have with IBS but If I can say something, even if I'm not an expert, IBS is triggered from a big amount of stress, i've read that when you are at home with your family IBs just kind of disappears ..that happens to me too! I was thinking about going through some sort of "relaxation therapy" or those audios they sell, just to see if they can help!








....

And another thing after being to the hospital I wanted to became a Gastroenterologist too because my thought was that I could finally cure myself with nobody's help and I could cure other people that suffer just like me .... of course attending University is not possible for me at the moment and IBS would just flare up everyday!

But i want tell you something : during this year I have done things that I never thought I could do again, I told my friends that if i needed help they HAD to help me.. I tried to explain to everyone around me how i feel when i'm sick even to the people that don't understand..

When I have to work or have a meeting or an exam or whateva.. i fast for 48hrs and i feel better , I can control myself.. of course no one can live without eating but it is an option.

I really hope that one day you can go to university and I think that if you put your mind to it you can beat IBS "we all can"!

Just try really give university a try! after all you only live once

Take care

Elly

P.s( if you want to talk you can write to me anytime you want )


----------



## vanessa6801 (Apr 12, 2014)

Elly_Jelly said:


> Hi Vanessa
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Thanks for your reply Elly, and thanks for your encouragement.

I started telling the people in my life about my IBS in early 2013, around 6 months after I first developed symptoms.

I was with my psychiatrist and I told her about it and cried afterwards. That was the first step I took in being open about my IBS and I am so glad I did it. You are right, it is so much better when you're open about it.

However, I don't live with my family and the funny thing is, the people whom I'm closest to (which is my family) don't know that I have IBS. Nor do I intend to tell them. I am not close to my parents and I don't expect them to understand. I've hidden my IBS from the other family members whom I'm closest to, because I don't want them to worry about me---- they have health issues themselves and I feel that I would just be burdening them by telling them about it.

I have told a few close friends about my IBS-- I didn't fear their judgement or anything and I wasn't embarrassed about it either. Unfortunately they were not able to understand the implications of what I told them ---- ie how IBS affects my life. How before IBS is getting in the way of all my dreams and goals, and how it has turned me into an exhausted wreck who dreads being in public. I'm not resentful towards my friends for not understanding--- in fact I didn't expect anything better from them. I've been to so many insensitive doctors wasn't interested in helping me that I've become hardened and I've just learnt to accept that I can't rely on other people to make me feel better. The best consolation is to be drawn from myself, from the fact that I DON'T NEED TO RELY ON OTHER PEOPLE.

So to sum up, what I'm saying is that I'm glad that I can be open about having IBS and all of its embarrassing symptoms, however I don't expect the people in my life to be able to help me.

I'm glad to hear that you have a strategy to manage your IBS symptoms. I could not fast---- since I have developed IBS my appetite has grown a lot. But I haven't gained any weight, if anything I've lost a kilo or two. I think that because of my poor digestion, I don't absorb enough nutrients and whatnot that are needed for energy production, and so I get tired very easily and crave more food.

From reading your posts, I think your symptoms are actually worse than mine and I can imagine how difficult it must be for you....... I don't usually get really bad attacks but I did get it today and I thanked god that at least I don't suffer from severe pain from the IBS and that my symptoms are only moderate.

The things that get to me is the fatigue and the declined brain function--- that stuff has really broken my spirit over these 2 years.

I am curious as to whether you do full time work? It must be so hard..... I've read some other posts on how people struggle to hold down a job because of IBS.

My university entry exams start in 2 weeks from now, and I will find out in a few months whether or not I will get into university. As I mentioned in my other posts, I don't think I will get the necessary grades for university. I will keep you posted on it though. 

Take care

Vanessa


----------

