# Friend with IBS, please advise!



## camillachick (Nov 19, 2011)

I need some advice. A close friend and housemate is ill with a diagnosis of IBS. He's been sick and unable to work for a number of years now- close to a decade. I met him last year and started to get to know him and learn what goes on with his illness. He was not receiving any care from a doctor, had pain on a daily basis and pain of an extreme level almost once a month for 48hrs at a stretch. He's been through a battery of tests long ago when he was first diagnosed, but the doctor he saw offered him no hope and very few options. After some medications that failed, my friend was told nothing more could be done and not to even bother trying to obtain disability. I have since encouraged him to return to a different doctor and try again to get some help. The pain he goes through can be intense. Sometimes he wants to die. He is alone except for me and slowly going broke because obviously he can't work. He is very hopeless when it comes to his IBS pain. He is extremely reluctant to see a doctor. We have been in a constant fight me vs him as I try to get him to make appointments with doctors, or do anything that could potentially help him. He is tired of trying things that fail and taking drugs that make him feel worse. I don't know what to do. Should I push him to try more and more things? What if it really is hopeless? Is anyone out there on disability for IBS? Is such a thing possible and should we try? It makes me crazy to see him hurting. I want him to feel better. Sometimes my suggestions that he try this therapy or that doctor causes a huge fight and I become the bad guy. I don't know which thought to follow or what to tell him, or even if I should be bothering him. He has lived with this for years and says nothing helps. But I also know he can't keep going at this rate. It isn't right to be in so much pain you want death. Thoughts?


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## SarahLund (Aug 16, 2010)

Hi there







I felt just like your friend when i was extremely impacted. As the pains were worse than usual, so i thought i would end up dying from the pains. My pains vary, depending how much i eat. I'm guessing your friends dreads getting ill with it everytime. I know i do. I know what he means by death being the easier option. Why haven't the medical profession come up with a better type of pain killer? I feel we need much stronger pain relief than people with other illnesses. If it helps, i read an article, which claimed the reason why dr's only give out medication, and not suggest other methods on how to rid of symptoms quicker, and the reason is that Pharmacy's would go out of business if dr's weren't forking out placebo's like it was xmas. This information sickens me. All for the money, those types. Idk what else he can try, but i started to feel better after a back massage. You'd think a stomach massage would have fixed it, but no, a back massage. Lol.


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## BQ (May 22, 2000)

You are a good friend.Has he considered using hypnotherapy to manage his pain? It worked SO well for me. Saved my life.Please see our CBT/Hypnotherapy Forum for more info about it. It is very important that it is "gut directed" hypnotherapy.I used the IBS 100 Audioprgram. Here's their site:http://www.healthyaudio.com/content/ibs?r=VmPRrcNkand YES by all means tell him to keep trying and to NEVER give up! And he should be on here... instead of you!


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## cookies4marilyn (Jun 30, 2000)

Yes, you are a good friend... take a peek at my journey link below which may give you some insight to what a typical IBS journey may be. Men sometimes are not as pro-active as women when it comes to health stuff, so he is lucky to have you... as BQ suggests, the hypnotherapy was helpful to me as well - and the good thing about is that he can do this in the privacy of his own home and it comes with free support via email/contact page or phone if he needs it. And it is very cost effective - less than just one session in person. So as long as he has seen the doctor for an initial diagnosis and everything else has been ruled out, it certainly might be worth a try - and no side effects. Though he probably should see a doctor if it has been a long time just to make sure nothing else is going on. In fact, perhaps the program could at least get him to a place where he would be willing to see a doctor - but if it is IBS, it could help resolve the pain and he could then get on with life... no guarantees, but it is worth a shot.All the best... hope you can find some answers.


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## Brittany123 (Jan 27, 2012)

i feel so bad for both you and your friend. I know it is hard watching someone your close to be in pain like everyday. I know how your friend feels i am 13 and i have had stomach problems for 4 years. it got to the point were my doctor does not know what to do anymore. I think he should go to another doctor but it is his choice.well i hope he gets better and i would keep on doing what your doing.


camillachick said:


> I need some advice. A close friend and housemate is ill with a diagnosis of IBS. He's been sick and unable to work for a number of years now- close to a decade. I met him last year and started to get to know him and learn what goes on with his illness. He was not receiving any care from a doctor, had pain on a daily basis and pain of an extreme level almost once a month for 48hrs at a stretch. He's been through a battery of tests long ago when he was first diagnosed, but the doctor he saw offered him no hope and very few options. After some medications that failed, my friend was told nothing more could be done and not to even bother trying to obtain disability. I have since encouraged him to return to a different doctor and try again to get some help. The pain he goes through can be intense. Sometimes he wants to die. He is alone except for me and slowly going broke because obviously he can't work. He is very hopeless when it comes to his IBS pain. He is extremely reluctant to see a doctor. We have been in a constant fight me vs him as I try to get him to make appointments with doctors, or do anything that could potentially help him. He is tired of trying things that fail and taking drugs that make him feel worse. I don't know what to do. Should I push him to try more and more things? What if it really is hopeless? Is anyone out there on disability for IBS? Is such a thing possible and should we try? It makes me crazy to see him hurting. I want him to feel better. Sometimes my suggestions that he try this therapy or that doctor causes a huge fight and I become the bad guy. I don't know which thought to follow or what to tell him, or even if I should be bothering him. He has lived with this for years and says nothing helps. But I also know he can't keep going at this rate. It isn't right to be in so much pain you want death. Thoughts?


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