# DepoProvera and Safe Sex (non-IBS related)



## cofaym (Dec 16, 2002)

I have an appointment to get a depo shot at the end of this month, hoping that it will help with my IBS attacks. My question is this: I am twenty two and have never been sexually active. I'm very nervous about pregnancy and STDs. There is one person that I would consider having sex with, but he hates condoms and says that with Depo I can't get pregnant and he's STD free, so why worry?







But at the same time, I know he's not a virgin and that even with depo's 3 pregnancies in 1000 record, I COULD get pregnant.







Leaving out his childish obsession with not taking responsibility and wearing a condom







, what do you think about this situation? Not that I intend to become a slut or anything, but I'm nearly 23 and quite ready to leave my virginity behind me - safely and without regret. So what constitutes safe sex?


----------



## Carrynx (Jan 7, 2003)

Hi Cofaym. You have a right to insist he uses a condom, especially if he is not in a monogamous relationship with you. If he does care about you, then he will put aside his immaturity and wear a condom. I think condoms are about 98% effective and do not prevent all stds from being transmitted and there is still a minute chance of pregnancy. Best to speak to a qualified counsellor to get all the facts. But to answer your question, the safest sex is abstinence. Next is being in a monogamous relationship. For myself .... I have a rule, no condom no sex, and this will be rule till I get married.


----------



## Auroraheart (Aug 8, 2000)

No birth control in the world is 100%, so using the condom will get that as close to 100% as you can. Any guy you want to have sex with should care enough to wear a condom if you want him to; or you should not have sex with him. He does not respect you if he does not; and do you want to have sex with someone who does not respect you? And...as much as I hate to point these things out....some guys don't KNOW they are STD free, they just assume they are. Guys notoriously do NOT go to the doctor for COMPLETE physicals to rule out all STDs. Also, in guys many STDs have very minor symptoms and they truly do not know. Most people (docs included) recommend using condoms for at least the first 3 months with someone. The other thing about not using a condom is that you are sure placing a LOT of trust in someone. There is way too much cheating in this world to be able to not use a condom in many cases. I didn't with my 1st guy and lived with him for a year. After we broke up I found out he had cheated on me with a slut who was on meds for "something". The anxiety I went through was crazy. Anyways....be careful. (I was 22 before I had sex for the 1st time as well)


----------



## jess105 (Aug 6, 2002)

I am 25 years old and have been married for 2 1/2 years. My husband and I have always used a combo of birth control pills and condoms. Even while married we use condoms. We have never slept with anyone else besides each other, but getting pregnant would be really bad for us right now and that is the only reason that we still use the condoms.There is absolutley no reason not to use a condom. No guy is worth the risk to you.


----------



## georgiagal (Jan 10, 2003)

Think of it this way...if you have sex with this guy, you will be having sex with ever person he has ever had sex with. That means possibly being exposed to all those viruses and bacteria harbored by others. Not a pleasant thought! A condom is not going to provide 100% protection against an STD. That little germ might be sitting on his scrotum, which would not be covered by the condom. Some STDs are transmitted by oral sex. Chlamydia is a perfect example, and half the men who have chlamydia don't have any symptoms. Can you look at someone and tell if they are HIV positive? I don't think so. What about Human Papilloma Virus(HPV)...that's the same virus that causes genital warts. No cure. There are about 30 or so strains of the virus that can be transmitted sexually and some of those don't cause warts, so no symptoms there either. What the female ends up with is changes in her cervix which can cause cancer. Another one...herpes...no cure and very painful. You might want to check out the Centers for Disease Control STD website. Lots of good info. Don't mean to come across so harsh, but having sex is risky business. Be proud of your virginity! Good Luck!


----------



## Integrity (Jun 19, 2000)

If he's not willing to wear a condom for you, to protect you from pregnancy and disease, then he's not worth having sex with.He's probably used this same argument with other women he's had sex with. What if even one of those women had sex with even one other person who carried something? You could pick it up from him. My boyfriend and I are planning on getting married, have never even held hands with other people, we were together 3 years before having sex, I'm on birth control pills, and we STILL use condoms. There is NO excuse for not wearing a condom. You only get to give your virginity to someone ONCE, and even one mistake could give you a disease that will end your life, or stick you with a child to care for for the rest of your life, and where will he be?You said yourself that he's being "childish", is someone this childish worth throwing away your virginity and endangering your health?


----------



## *Luna* (Nov 19, 2001)

Tell him no condom=no sex. And then stick to it!


----------



## ect (Nov 13, 2002)

Hey, if he won't wear a condom he's putting you at a great risk. Getting pregnant is nothing compared to the terrible diseases you can get these days. My husband worked on a STD book about ten years ago. In some of the photos, you couldn't tell what was a female part or a male part unless you read the caption. I'm talking califlower shaped THINGS that were either a vagina or a ***** and you really couldn't tell! Of course photos like these are only in medical books, but I'm sure if the general public saw them, everyone would wear a condom.One more thing: Depo is wacky. Is makes you act crazy. It sure didn't help my IBS. It lowers your sex drive too. Your periods get all messed up - you get it every couple of months and you think you're going to bleed to death.Use the condom!Love,ect


----------



## cofaym (Dec 16, 2002)

I saw a lot of those pictures in sex ed. ewwwww. I believe in getting tested before you have sex, but what do you get tested for? I mean, there are SO MANY stds a person can have (many without symptoms on some people) so what do you ask the doctor to check for (as a male or female). I may not have sex for years to come, but I feel that knowledge is power and I want to be the one in control of my body.


----------



## lindsay* (Jul 23, 2000)

as someone mentioned earlier, most stds are symptom free. testing for them is easy- especially for women. just ask your doctor or nurse to test you for everything. the nurse practitioner i see at a local title X clinic automatically tests everyone for stds when they come in for their yearly. your prospective partner should do the same and you should go to the doctors appointment with him. both of you should be tested for stds before having any kind of sex- with or without a condom. herpes, etc can live on areas that are not covered by condoms (scrotum, as someone mentioned earlier, thighs, etc). herpes can be passed even when an infected person is not currently in an active stage.tests for herpes and HPV can be a little bit more difficult, but request that your doctor test you. it's super important to be tested for hepatitis- it's more common than hiv and can be deadly.this is a really good webpage for info- http://www.plannedparenthood.org/sti/ planned parenthood can test you for anything under the sun and provides contraception and std treatment services.i say always wear a condom and always use another method of birth control- such as pills, the patch, the shot, iud, etc.oh yeah, and i'm a sex and hiv/aids educator


----------



## kyestar (Nov 26, 2001)

I think it is great that it is YOU who is in control!My fiancee and I use condoms. They are not so bad when you get used to them. I did take the pill for a bit but it makes me quite ill. I thought about the depo injection, but if you get any side effects, you have them for 3 months. If he wont respect your wishes and wear a condom, he isn't worth it. His attitude in this area is quite telling of his general personality. Don't get involved with a f***head.


----------



## ect (Nov 13, 2002)

Hi again,I have time to write now but you can still call me. The Depo was a bad chioce for me. I only took it because I was still breastfeeding my son and it was "safe" for nursing. Your sex drive goes way down, which we joked "maybe that's how is works" Ha Ha. You never know when you're going to get your period and you spot alot. When you finally get a real period, it's like you're going to bleed to death (I'm talking - onto my shoes). When I told my girlfriend that I was taking it, she said, "Girl, why are you taking that stuff? That's what they give whores in the getto". It was a harsh thing to say, but it make me think about what I was doing to myself. On the depo or the pill (I was on the pill for 10 years), it made no difference with my IBS. I don't know why you would think it would help you. You can call me like I said in the personal message.Love,ECT


----------



## cofaym (Dec 16, 2002)

I've heard positive things about Depo as well, and would love to hear anyone else's opinion of it. The problem with me is that my change in hormones over the month can cause crazy attacks (right now I'm dealing with constipation, which is very unusual for me). The depo would be to regulate my hormones. I was on the pill and it helped with my cramping and stuff, but I never remember to take the stupid thing. I have really long periods and they are always very heavy as well...


----------

