# I got it; I'm in hell



## 22952

Just realized it a few minutes ago. Along with my depression, general anxiety, I'm completely lost in terms my future goals including my career/major, where I want to live, etc. I'm even lost as to who I am. I can't answer the question of what I like to do in my freetime without being dishonest.I mean it had to come down to this, the inability to ####. It's the most pathetic, embarassing, frustrating illness. I mean you can't even do a simple daily task that every human being does, and that is the ability to excrete. It's a silly illness, really. It's gotten to the point where I'm actually obsessing over it. I look at someone on the street and I envy them because they can go to the bathroom, take a dump, and feel relieved afterwards. I want to say they take it for granted but you know how ridiculous that sounds.This has gotta be hell. Somewhere along my life I died and this is what I'm living with. Career anxiety, social anxiety, irritable bowel syndrome, weight gain, depression, loneliness, agitation, hatred... The list goes on.I've become easily annoyed with everything now. So sick and tired of everything, because everything seems like a grind. It's the same deal everyday. I don't even enjoy the things I used to love doing anymore. I used to love sitting down and watching a game. A year ago it was my only escape, but now it's all gone. I'm sick of it. There's really not that much to enjoy in a game. What's the point of watching it? It's the same thing every game, every year is the same goal, and it has nothing to do with the fans. Why bother? It's just some sort of event that got real popular and now it's just blown out of proportion. Sports should not be this popular and lucrative. It's just a general trend that everyone got into. Oh yeah, you do it? So do I. A chain reaction. Sick of these yuppy bitches that drink their starbucks coffee, wearing ugg boots, and flashing their designer glasses. Sick of the guys who think they have so much fashion sense wearing diesel jeans, a striped shirt, and a black wool coat with popped collars. I'm even sick of the guys I see at the airport who look so relaxed taking up two seats, their legs wide open and resting on the seats in front of them. Wearing some college sports hat backwards or the front really bent.


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