# Rant



## M&M (Jan 20, 2002)

I am so angry and frustrated right now.I planned this week so carefully. I made sure I got enough done yesterday to leave today open, and I made sure not to do too much yesterday so I'd be dead today.Today I was going to spend the day doing my favorite "guilty" passtime - Working in my garden. I have bulbs to plant, and 1 plant in particular that I need to dig up and divide. I call it my "guilty" pleasure, because I have to save up energy for it, and then I'm still usually sore and a bit sick afterwards, but it needs doing, and I love it. I feel so happy out there playing in my dirt.Well, I had to run my grandmother to the bank and the grocery store first today. Obviously, I have to do that, it's my responsibility as family.But, by the time I got back home, I could barely walk anymore, and all I can do is crumple on to my bed and cry. Thinking... there goes all my planning... There goes all my hard work I did to leave today open. It will probably be weeks until I can prepare myself to do my gardening again. So, I'm just wallowing in self-pity for the moment.Sometimes being disabled just sucks. Thanks for listening. You know what it's like when nobody understands.


----------



## selenae25 (Apr 4, 2004)

I'm sorry you could not do your gardening. It really does suck to not be able to do the things we love that make us feel better. I really hope you feel well soon and can get back out into your garden.


----------



## weener (Aug 15, 2000)

MrsM ((hugs)) for you.It does suck, but don't be too hard on yourself. The garden won't go anywhere and you'll have a day to work on them soon.Just rest up and maybe that day will be sooner than you expected.Take care.


----------



## britchick (Oct 2, 2003)

how frustrating.....I certainly know how you feel..next thing someone will say 'maybe you would feel better if you got up and did something' and you'll waste a whole load of energy being angry at them!!take care of yourself.


----------



## M&M (Jan 20, 2002)

Thanks guys. I was just having one of those "freak outs". lol Where you think you'll lose your mind if you have to spend 1 more day in this broken down body.Mentally and emotionally feeling much better. Thanks for all the support. Noone else does understand, as I'll talk to healthy friends about this, and get a blank stare in return. LOL!!


----------

