# No hope, no joy.



## Jill G (Jun 2, 2011)

I have IBS for the last 4 years. I dropped out of college as it got very embarrassing going to the restroom during lectures. And the fun that the people made of me. I am married and my husband doesn't understand. He has his career worries and I cannot join him in his outdoor activities. He feels bad later on that he vented his frustration on me. But he feels (and I sometimes feel too) that I am the reason he can't have a normal life.I have visited many doctors, tried many different medicines, anti-depressants.2 months back I was hospitalized for 5 days.I had 35 loose motions in one night. The doctors said it was IBS as well as Gastro. My BP dropped consistently. My intestine has become very weak. I cannot digest even normal food. Sometimes I feel, am I dreaming? Is this really happening to me? I have fought IBS all these years hoping that the day will come when I will be well again and be happy life other people my age.But it is getting worse day by day.I have always wanted to have kids. But I know this dream will never come true. I am not eating enough food to provide nutrition for my body, how will I be able to have a normal pregnancy.I sit everyday near the window, alone at home. And I feel should I end all this misery. More than what this illness is doing to my body, it is doing to my mind.There is no one to talk to about my fears and problems.


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## susie64 (Apr 1, 2011)

I know exactly how you feel. It is almost 8:00 p.m. here and my husband and son have left for a soccer game which I was also supposed to attend. There have been counless other events I have missed and I too, am getting sick of being left behind. You are not alone in thinking that it might be easier to just "not be here...in agony all the time." Anti-depressants seem to just exacerbate my bowel condition, so one is "caught btwn a rock and a hard place"...do you take the Zoloft/Paxil/Prozac and maybe feel mentally better, but physically worse, or do you not take them and let the anxiety/stress of this disease wreak havoc on your digestive tract??!!Hope this "post" gives you some (small) comfort in knowing that you're not alone in your depair.Susie.


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## em_t (Jun 8, 2010)

I know how you feel Jill,I have had to quit my job due to the debilitating symptoms of my IBS. I had severe pain and debilitating nausea which was making working impossible. I'm a teacher and almost fainted in front of my class once and used to vomit on a regular basis. This was over 6 months ago and my symptoms have gone from bad to worse and there's no way I'll be fit enough to return in September. Have you tried looking at whether or not there are any online courses that you can do instead? Having something to focus on and distract you from your symptoms of IBS can be very useful! Susie, don't feel guilty whether on not you can do things with your son, he will love you whether or not you can turn up for his games. My mum was ill during most of my childhood and although she couldn't always make it to all the other activities other mums did, I never loved her any less for it. If you and your husband want children its not completely outta the question. Although you are worried that you won't be able to eat enough to sustain a pregnancy, healthy babies can be born to women who have awful diets. My mother had ulcerative Colitis when pregnant with me, she had horrible nausea, indigestion and the usual symptoms of diarrhoea and bleeding but I was 10 days overdue and a healthy 8 lbs 6 ozs, even though she was lighter after having given birth to me than before she got pregnant! The growing baby tends to extract all the nutrients it needs from the mother, so even if the mother doesn't feel particularly healthy the baby normally is. Also, many women find they actually have an improvement in their IBS symptoms during pregnancy, especially if diarrhoea is your main symptom. The hormonal changes during pregnancy causes the contractions of the gut to slow down and causes up to 40% of people during pregnancy to experience constipation. If you're worried about your mental health you should perhaps talk to your doctor about it. I'm not saying you need antidepressants, but maybe even just someone to talk to or some CBT to help you cope with your situation. Sometimes its better to talk to someone who doesn't know you because they are removed from the situation and can give you their unbiased opinion on the situation.In the meantime, I would keep yourself busy. Try distracting yourself with cleaning the house, watching your favourite programme on TV, read a book, have a bath, whatever - just anything that helps you relax. Hope you feel a bit better soonEm


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## Jill G (Jun 2, 2011)

Thanks Susie and Em_t.I went and got some books from a community library. I agree that I need to keep myself occupied mentally. I am currently not taking any anti-depressants as they seem to worsen the condition. I guess I was just depressed and afraid as I was feeling very unwell yesterday. But I have to get myself out of it. One step at a time.I am glad I found this support group.


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## cookies4marilyn (Jun 30, 2000)

My heart goes out to all of you - I certainly know how you feel.Please read my journey below - After nothing working and being almost housebound, I used the IBS Audio Program and it really helped with all of the aspects of IBS you mention - There is even a recording for people in your family who do not understand what it is like to have IBS - I cried when I first listened to this - it was so validating. you can call 877-898-2539 for some more info and someone to talk to who has been there - there really IS hope... Feel free to ask me any questions you may have - always happy to help.


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## Girl (Jun 19, 2006)

I'm so sorry for you I can understand so well what you're going trought, for me it's insanse because of my mother I don't sleep at nights she is making fun of me in the mornings.


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