# Not Alone :(



## 19738 (Jul 17, 2005)

When i found this site the other day i had no idea there were so meny people out there like me,alone.I have not left my house in over 3 months and have only done so about 5 times in the last year,my life is my home(safty zone)I cant even go for a walk down the road.I have 4 kids ages 10 through 22 and i feel like i have failed as a mother and a wife.I stand at the window and cry everytime they leave to go do something,becouse i cant be with them.I cant even go to the doctor.I cant spend time out with my husband,i cant watch my daughter get married next month,i could not even take my son to the ER the other night when he fell off a swing,my husband is very soportive and doent cut me down or make me feel quilty,he doesnt have to,i do that to myself,he does all the shopping and running.On one of those rare times when i do go to town i have to drive and i have to speed like a bat out of h&%#,to make sure i am close to a bathroom.Ive tried the meds,the only one that ever worked was Xanax,but my doc wont give it to me"its addictive"i would love so much to tell her that i dont give a care,i would rather be hooked on it and have a life then sit at home and die a slow death.I am so sorry that you all are going through this to,i think i would rather be alone becouse i dont wish this on enyone.Thanks for listening to me,it has helped me just typing this.Sherri


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## Fed Up (Jun 5, 2005)

Awww Sherri. I feel for you a really do. I've never got to the point where I've not been out the house for that length of time, thanks goodness. I don't want to sound patronising at all, but you do need to get some help, and it sounds like your doctor is not helping you. Would you be able to get a home visit? This may be the way to go, and perhaps try a different doctor? They should be able to support you in this, and yeah, if Xanax helps you, they should let you have it. How long was you on it for?


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## 16412 (Jul 4, 2005)

Sherri,Hugs I was in your shoes read my story: http://ibsgroup.org/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/51510173/m/19210786A psychiatrist will give you Xanax on a regular basis. I have a bottle of Xanax but I only need it when my anxiety get really bad and throws my IBS into a painful situation. I use a non drowsy mild sedative called Buspar that takes my IBS away and I live a normal life again...I was just like you and now I have my life back. You can too. MY IBS D is a anxiety induced. I have GAD general anxiety disorder. Sounds like you do too. Maybe talk to your doctor about Buspar it is non addictive like Xanax can be and it really works trust me I am a Mom w/ a 16 and 12 year old and now can talk my son to work go shopping even go to Atlantic City on a trip w/ my husband and not even once have a IBS D attack. You can have your life back too, don't give up Buspar is given by a regular doctor which is good too, I only have to go twice a year for refills. Again hugs to you Sherri.


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## 14139 (May 13, 2005)

Sherri, Reading your story really made me feel sad for you. That is no-way to live. If your anxiety is all due to being afraid to be away from a bathroom any length of time, it is like myself and many others out there. The difference is most of us face the fear as much as possible and leave our "safety zone". You have to make a promise to yourself that you will go get help. If not for yourself than your children. You are missing too much-as you already know. Life is to short sweetheart. You deserve to live as normal a life as anyone else. IBS does not have to be a life sentence. There are days when I am scared to death of leaving, and it takes every ounce of energy I have to get out the door-but I do it. I have often said on other posts that I consider IBS my demon-sometimes he wins sometime he loses. I refuse to give into him completly. As you should not either. Being out seems scary to you b/c you are afraid of loosing control. Totally understandable, but isn't more embarrasing to say that you are afraid to leave. We tend to put so much envasis on not making it, rather than taking a chance. You deserve a life. Have you tried alternating your diet or have you ever taken any alternative meds? Visit .. Promise you will do everything possible to get out of your safety zone. Make that promise to yourself. We are all hear to support you. At one time or another we have been there. We understand and we can give you advise and some recommendations. I know the fear and anxiety that goes with IBS-your case sounds much deeper than that. Was there something in your life that happened? Keep us posted!


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## 21918 (May 16, 2005)

Sherri--Ask your doctor to give you a small supply of the xanax so you can see your daughter married. I just got back today from watching my son get married yesterday. I rode 3 hours to get to the airport, flew clear across the country and then rode another 2 1/2 hours by car to get there. Yes, I took xanax, immodium and levsin to do it, but I couldn't let IBS deprive me of one of the most important days of my life. The day of the rehearsal dinner, I was feeling like everything was going well, so I ate some chicken and a salad for lunch. After spending more time in the bathroom than I would have liked (I was a few minutes late to rehearsal)I took 3 immodium, 2 pepto bismols, 3 levsin, and 1 xanax 0.25mg. I sipped a 7-up and didn't eat dinner, but I got to meet the in-laws and avoid disappointing my son. (I'm still waiting for the effects of all that medicine to wear off, but I don't have to go anywhere important tomorrow, and I can chalk this trip up as a sucess.) I'm so glad I went. I just couldn't have missed my son's wedding and I pray you don't have to miss your daughter's wedding. If your doctor won't let you have the xanax, find one who is more compassionate or ask the old one to do something to help you for this special occasion. I'm wishing you strength and happiness.


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## 19738 (Jul 17, 2005)

I realy dont know what to say to all these wonderfull replies,it makes me want to cry that there are people out there that understand.The last time i was on xanax was about 5 years ago when we moved up here to WV,since then my new doc would not give it to me,i was never hooked on it,only took when needed to go to town or if there was high stress,sometimes i would even go days without needing it.The new doc wanted to try new meds,zoloft(im allergic)prozac makes me sick as a dog,paxil didnt do enything but make me sleep,Wellbutrin..and so on,so after a year of this off and on i quit going,started staying home more and slowly become homebound over the last few years.Its to the point where just the thought of leaving the house sets me off,i start panicing and running for the bathroom.I know this is no life for me and i want so bad to change it,so i am going to start tommorw by tring the caltrate 600 and sending my hubby to fill my prescition(sp?) for buspar that i called and got from my doc after reading these replys today,i dont see that i have enything to lose and tons to gain.My daughter and future son in law say they will even change there wedding date if it will help to give me time(they are so sweet,said that me getting better was far more important to them than the day they tie the knot)for the frist time today we all sat down and talked about this and i even showed them these boards and your posts,they were shocked too that so meny other people have it.I may come here and whine and complain but its so nice to know i have a place where i can go to that understands.Im allso going to find a new doc if i can build up the nerve,thank you all so much for giving me the curage to try again.Maybe i can beat my demon to.


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## mxwe (Apr 7, 2002)

Lomotil along with other meds should really help- At least it does me-It comes in generic formMXWE


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## 16412 (Jul 4, 2005)

Hi SherriLen,Glad your going to try Buspar.My doctor started me on a low dose 5mg twice daily then went up to 10mg twice daily. It takes about a week to fully kick in, Buspar is very mild. Let us know how your making out. I was just like you very happy to find a place w/people with the same problems like me. Hugs to you and a big pat on the back for stepping up to the plate and taking a step in the right direction, by not giving up and continuing to try new ways and advice of others like yourself sufering from anxiety and IBS! By finding this group I now have my general anxiety disorder and IBS D undercontrol.I am sooo happy for you for caring about yourself and not giving up! You can e-mail me anytime w/ any questions you have my email is ibsqueen###gmail.com.


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## 14139 (May 13, 2005)

Congratulations SherriLen,I am so happy to hear that you are going to try different things. Please be sure to keep us updated on your progress. I am very excited for you, as I am sure the others on here are too. Your daughter and future S-I-L sound like really special people. Most people would only be thinking of themselves. Don't hesitate to log on just to whine-we all do it from time to time. It really does help.Best of luck. Better Days are ahead for you!


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## 14139 (May 13, 2005)

SLM,Welcome Back. It sounds like you had a nice time. Who cares that you needed a little help- you did it. YEAH!!!!!!!!!! I am very happy for you. You go girl!


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## 21918 (May 16, 2005)

Thanks Jomo--You can always be counted on for a kind word. I really appreciate it.Hugs


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## 21918 (May 16, 2005)

Sherri--I'm so happy that you are taking the first steps to getting IBS under control. If the calcium isn't enough, you can always add the soluble fiber too. I've even added the hypnosis CDs. I don't want to leave any stone unturned. Good luck to you and to your daughter and son-in-law. Remember, you can always come here for support.


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## 17297 (Aug 14, 2005)

Sheri,I just started to take my citricel....eating more foods to bulk up my stools, and I plan on trying the Calcium too. I also have a supply of imodium AD in my cabinet (that is my security blanket). My IBS just recently became worse and I decided to seek information on the internet today. I am so happy I found this board and all of the information that members share. I am so glad you have decided to take some small steps.....if you continue...you will be skipping before you know it.I will keep you in my prayers.


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## 14988 (Aug 10, 2005)

hi Sherri, I get that feeling from time to time and it really must be awful to have to suffer so long without the answer. I noticed that the more I shy away from doing things, the more uncomfortable I feel. I try to help myself by doing a lot of relaxations like yoga & therapy (for you this may be the new meds), and then I start slow by doing some things by myself when nobody knows. Take the car out while everyone is out of the house. Then nobody is pulling for me, I'm just hanging out with myself to see if I can really get out there for a while. If nobody is depending on me or waiting for me, I seem to do much better out of the house. Good luck.


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