# She said "Get Over It"



## trying2bebrave (Apr 12, 2009)

I felt really horrible yesterday so I came back to my dorm and talked to my roommate about it. I usually talk to her whenever I have a bad day and she doesn't quite understand what's going on (she thinks IBS is a completely psychological thing), but at least she listens. But today when I came back I was crying and I was really upset and I was asking her how I was supposed to live the rest of my life like this, and she said "just get over it."I didn't know what to say. I know I have to accept the fact that I have IBS sooner or later, but I still felt like it wasn't fair for her to say that. I feel like it's clear now that she doesn't understand IBS. Should I confront her about it? Should I keep talking to her about my problems? She's the only person I have to talk to. I feel like she really doesn't understand though because one time she even told me "I honestly don't think you have IBS." That REALLY made me upset. She doesn't even know what IBS is! I've been going to so many doctors for years to try and understand what's going on with my body, and after tons of tests and procedures they just decided to call it IBS because they didn't know what else it was. When I wake up, I'm not sure what I can eat, I'm not sure what my stomach will feel like during the day, I'm not sure if I'll find a bathroom in time - but the only thing I AM sure about is my IBS. And then she goes and tells me I don't even have it?! That it's all in my head!??! It makes me so angry!!!Discuss-people who don't understand IBS-how to explain IBS to the people you're living with


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## BQ (May 22, 2000)

Have you seen our Brochure that was written by an IBS sufferer expressly for people who do NOT have IBS.. so they get a better understanding of what we go through?Here.. just click here & print it out for your roomate (and others) to read. Perhaps it will help them understand.http://www.ibsgroup.org/brochures/Aboutibs.pdfAll the bestBQ


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## ThewallsRclosingIn (Feb 9, 2007)

I dated a girl for a few years who relentlessly made me feel guilty and ashamed for having IBS problems. She knew me 3 years prior to IBS and just thought I was making the whole ordeal up in my head and that there was a magical switch that could turn it on or off (I wish though). Anyways, she ended up leaving anyways, it was hard and stayed single for a few years. I met a girl Im dating now who is very understanding, accepting and helping with my situation. I feel my IBS affects me less to me when someone isn't making me feel guilty about it. Maybe she isn't the one for you, just being honest but I told this girl the first day I meet her, if she wants to be with me she has to be understanding. If anyone told me to get over it, it would be over.


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## MrBumwe (Oct 26, 2009)

tryingtobebrave,I am 25 and can relate to what ur saying, It sounds like your room mate really isn;t all that sympathetic,, I am pretty secretive about my IBS i am not sure whether that is a good thing but i do speak openly with one really good mate about it and that really helps but i think its really important to choose someone who is always goiing to be understanding and re-assuring. I however I did 1st get IBS when i was living at home and so family members are aware, some of which were really hurtful and didn't even try to understand, it was a waste of time bothering to explain and further this is a real illness and i dont feel like i need to answer to anyone. I have since cut ties with some family and feel pretty good about it. Having this type of illness can really make u question urself and it does feel isolating.. dont let anyone around you add to that, if they aren't supportive forget them,,


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## ttc123123 (Oct 23, 2009)

I know how you feel, when I told my friends they laughed and teased me about it because of it which made things worse. With my IBS I have learnt that this experience helps you to find out who your real friends are. This person is clearly not respective of your condition, its not worth getting worried about it and wasting your time and possibly making your IBS worse!!I am in a situation at university at the moment trying to get people to understand what I am going through. Some of the staff have been terrible with understanding my situation and it even got suggested by the woman of their disabilities and medical team that I sit with all my module classes and explain to them that I have IBS, what it means for me and what I will have to do like getting up out of class to go to the toilet, I was like are you being serious, thats all I need, 6 different module groups that contain 30+ people in each group that I don't know about the fact that I have IBS!!!! Thats going to help because if I do get up and need to go to the loo they will all know what I am going to do!!! Nice!I have found that because of IBS I seem to have a great deal of anxiety due to it, I have started seeing a councillor to try and help me as I can't talk to anyone about it really although through this I have found a member of staff at the university who has IBS to talk to which is really helpful. But I do know how frustrating it all is!!


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## jules546 (Oct 27, 2009)

First off, I'd like to commend you on being brave enough to even talk to anyone about having IBS. I'm new to the diagnosis and continue to call it "stomach problems." I have a similar situation with one of my good friends in college. She's in the medical field, therefore she thinks she knows everything about everything and tells me that it's all in my head. She says that if I could just calm down for half a minute, I'd be able to eat and function again as a normal person. She's even gone so far as to make me feel bad about skipping out on girl's nights at restaurants and bars because I can't leave my bathroom. So just know that you're not alone especially in this age group. Our generation has no idea what it's like to actually be afflicted with anything because they've been on prescription medication all their lives for something or other.Keep truckin' on and never feel bad for something you cannot control. And tell your friend that you don't need her asinine comments, just her support.<33, Jules


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## jules546 (Oct 27, 2009)

I'm seeking a counselor for my IBS-induced anxiety as well. What is it about colleges and universities that don't understand this problem? Can't they see we're hurting here? Wishing you all the luck.


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## PeaLea (Sep 16, 2009)

There will always be people who dont understand... sound to me until the suffers something life changing, traumatic, or even just nerve racking she will never understand, get rid u need less stress in your life! =)i have an understanding family and understanding bf even though last few months been tough because ive only been diagnosed for about 3 months and im just starting to get my life back together .. even though i have yet to see my mates n socialise (not ready atm because i get nervous and it sends my bowels up the S41t creek so to speak) ive found great comfort chattin to my mate who is terminally ill with CF because she has an illness she knows how horrid it can be (even though thank god id never compare my problems to hers) people always thought she had some eating disorder because she was skinny but it i always knew there was more to it because she would eat and jsut never put weight on it wasnt until she told me she was really ill. i found it comforting to also chat to her because im thin too (always have been and ibs making it a bit worse) although im feeling better these days thanks tomy new pills i still dont feel right, and some of mymates awlays ask how im feeling and i tell em and its like "u been ill for ages" "when u guna come out again?" i was always the centre of attention and loud and very energetic, but imthe complete opposite now im almost like a hermit and im worried about what to tell a new boss when i find a job (been redundant since july) im just waiting for the person to say to me "get over it" i think i would be shattered because although i was always a loud person i was never that confident even though people thought i was! im slowly learning to be my self again.


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