# Best way to deal with an event months away?



## kac123 (Aug 2, 2002)

Hi everyone! I'm trying to deal with my IBS and lately it doesn't seem to be following its normal set of rules!







I have IBS C/D and I have been thru the tapes 3 times now and I know that they have saved me a number of times (a few weeks ago i had to give a huge presentation in front of my entire department and I got thru that with minimal damage







). Lately though, my stomach has decided to switch over to more D than C, the pain and urgency have returned and I feel like i'm losing what little control over things that i had. I haven't changed anything in my routine so I don't think thats it. I am getting married on August 29th and have been doing a lot of wedding planning (this past weekend we picked out our vows and the ceremony plan and the invitations, etc.) - Yesterday we went to look at tuxes for the grooms and an hour later I was in the bathroom! Is it possible that I'm worrying about something that is six months away and the stress of that is causing my IBS to freak out the way it is????? And if so is there a way to handle this? For my report, my IBS acted up the day before and I was able to get myself relaxed and do the breathing exercises to manage it -- I can't "sedate" myself like that for the next 6 months though (I work around chemcials all day - that would just turn ugly!!







). I'm going to call my gi and see what he thinks - not that he's ever really helped before, but this way i have that base covered as well. I'm starting to get discouraged







Any advice at all would be greatly appreciated -I hope everyone is doing well







kac


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## NarmatDCL (Dec 22, 2003)

Hi! I go through the same thing you do. We take 2 familiy vacations a year (my husband and 2 boys in May; a 3 other families in August) and I start stressing out over it MONTHS in advance. I am currently seeing a therapist and in conjunction with my gyn, I am taking 50 mg of Zoloft and have now added 15 mg of Buspar a day. A lot of my IBS is trigged by anxiety. I am seeing a new GI dr. next monday for the physical symptoms. It has gotten to the point where any car trip with all of us, local or not, sends me to the Immodium bottle and the powder room several times before we leave. It's so nice to know I'm not alone and you're not either!


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## BQ (May 22, 2000)

KAC, If it makes you feel any better... I have been on this board for quite a long time now... and have seen quite a few members get married. And yup, all had concerns about the wedding day and having an attack and .................ALL got through the day without one.







I think the adrenaline kicks in and shuts down digestion or something.







Relax hon, enjoy your plans and festivities... you'll be fine..((((((kac))))))))Oh, by the way.......... CONGRATS!







BQ


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## eric (Jul 8, 1999)

Kac, I am getting married in three months.I decided that worring wasn't gonna change the outcome of anything. So why work yourself up? Good stress, like excitement can be a problem like bad stress.So I work everyday on keeping my central nervous system calm.


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## eric (Jul 8, 1999)

I ment to add congradulations.


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## kac123 (Aug 2, 2002)

NarmatDCL - Thats the best thing about this site - the abilit to realize that we aren't all alone in this mess. I hope the new GI can help you to deal with things better!BQ - Thanks for the congrats! Its nice to know that i'm not the only one that freaks out about the wedding day! I hope that things will go smoothly and I do try to not worry about things, but with my "Type A" personality its not always the easiest thing to accomplish







I spoke with the lady that runs the place where we'll be getting married and she said that she will lock out one of the bathrooms and give only me the key for it (she's so sweet) so i'm hoping just knowing that will help things. Eric - congratulations yourself! I was wondering if excitement played a role in this because lately if i have something i'm looking forward to that isn't IBS scary (like a party in my own house) my stomach starts to turn a little bit. I guess i'll just have to focus on relaxing a little better (which would be a hell of a lot easier if i could still have the occasional captain and coke!)







Thanks to all of you and i hope everyone is doing well today!kac


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## eric (Jul 8, 1999)

Kac, nothing wrong with an occasional captain and coke.







Just don't overdue it.This toally about balance and keeping the Central Nervous System balanced.Thanks for the congrats.







Hope everything goes smoothly for you.


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## NarmatDCL (Dec 22, 2003)

Thank you, Kac! And congratulations on your upcoming wedding (my husband and I were married June 29, 1991!). I remember right before the ceremony saying I had to pee and my bridesmaides helping to lift my dress. Of course I hadn't eaten anything that day for fear of what I thought was "nervous tummy". Hope you're doing well today -- this is such a great site! So much information and so many who UNDERSTAND!


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## eric (Jul 8, 1999)

Kac, hope your doing better? How you holding up?


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## cookies4marilyn (Jun 30, 2000)

Wow!! Congrats to you all... So Shawn, you made it official!!! All the best to you and your honey!!! There is hope for me yet!! LOL







This is wonderful news, and we wish you every joy and blessing! xxx (((HUGS))) xxx


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## Guest (Mar 21, 2004)

A resounding echo of Marilyn's congratulations to all!!!Kac... the only advice I can give you is to just go with it, do your best and deal with whatever happens if/when it happens. That sounds a whole lot easier that it is to do, I realize... and I personally could not do it without the correct medications. (The same medications have also significantly increased my dance performance confidence as well as lessened my anxiety over it.)Anyways....best wishes, and don't forget to have fun...







Evie


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## kac123 (Aug 2, 2002)

Hi Everyone!Narm - When i was dress shopping, there were a few dresses that were so big and 'fluffy' at the bottom that i actually asked the lady how in the world anyone would go to the bathroom with them on and she said "oh - if you have to use the restroom then you take in a bridesmaid or two and have them hold it while you go" - I laughed hysterically for about 10 minutes! I couldn't even imagine that situation with IBS without turning it into an old sitcom skit in my head! Eric - so far so good







This weekend the boy and I went registering at various places and I held-up ok thru that. I just wish I could figure out what was causing the problems - but then i know thats something we all would like to do LOL! How is all of your planning going, or is that your fiance's department







Evie - thanks very much. I am trying to have fun with it all - and my 'Type A' personality has helped me finish off a lot of the bigger plans already so now i get to play with the details. Thanks again for all your help and I will try to remember to take it all one day at a time!kac


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## BQ (May 22, 2000)

Kac glad you did well while registering... so tell us... how did "the boy" do? LOL







BQ


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## kac123 (Aug 2, 2002)

BQ







The boy did pretty well - primarily because when you register they give you one of their scanning guns, so I let him do the scanning and that seemed to keep him relatively happy. Somehow using something "remote control like" seemed to make the whole experience more manly despite the use of phrases like "china pattern"







Hope you are doing well!kac


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## BQ (May 22, 2000)

LOL He got to use the scanning gun!!!Hey Eric, maybe you can get to use one too!!!!LOLBQ


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## reallysorestomach (Mar 22, 2004)

Drink stress tea, it helps and the time it takes you to drink it it relaxes you. It also has things in it to relax your stomach and stop the d from happening, like ginger, cinnamon etc.


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## eric (Jul 8, 1999)

Sorry guys was away for a week. Kac, glad your doing better and hopefully you still are doing better. My wedding is extremely simple, were going to the coast for a week and just going to get married.Then my brother a master chef is going to cater a small party for us. So not to much to plan really and we are actually both working things together.







I could use a scanning gun though. lolHope your still doing okay.


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## kac123 (Aug 2, 2002)

Hi Eric - your wedding sounds exactly like what i originally wanted to do! But then my mom started to cry when i used the word "elope" and my dad said no. Now after about three months of paying out to various wedding vendors my father came up and said that if i really wanted to elope that it would be ok with him! LOL







I'm stressed out this week for non-wedding reasons, but so far my stomach is holding up alright -- maybe its the addition of a calcium supplement.... Anyway - thanks so much for asking and I highly recommend the scanning gun!Thanks and I hope you are doing well!-kac


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## eric (Jul 8, 1999)

Kac, its funny she said that. LOLWe decided to do it with as little pressure and anxiety as possible. Since we both have IBS.Remember also stress can have a delayed reaction, cortisol builds up and hangs around in the body for long periods of time, so keep at the stress reduction, just take time for yourself for this whenever you can, hopefully everyday, take some time to relax and recharge the batteries as Mike would say, which is very true.


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## BQ (May 22, 2000)

Yeah I tried that too Kac.After we got engaged my folks asked what kind of wedding we would like. I said how bout, we do the church ceremony and then have..... peanut butter & jelly sandwiches in the backyard???Nope... they didn't go for it either.







With weddings, to me, the most important part is your vows. The clothes you are wearing, the music that is playing, who is sitting where..etc>>>>







really doesn't matter. What you promise to each other is what is most important. The rest of the day is really just a party and it is up to your guests to have a good time or not. So Kac just try to keep your focus on what you two value and everything will fall into place.And, yeah, it is true that everyone has a wedding "story" that will bring laughter for years to come. Don't let that throw you.Hey, we have gotten many giggles out of the memory of our family dog getting skunked two days before the wedding... and yup... my gown and the entire wedding party's gown were in the house at the time. I can still see all those gowns hanging on my Mom's clothes line. LOLBQ


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## kac123 (Aug 2, 2002)

HI!Eric - yup, i'm trying to make time to sit and breathe. Odd as it sounds, I use the time i have on the train everyday to focus and relax as i go to and from work and it seems to be helping. BQ - a skunked dog and wedding dresses! LOL! I can't even imagine! In my case that would be a huge problem, because the wedding is in Lancaster County and in August hanging clothes outside is typically a bad idea due to the Amish and their "natural fertilizers"







I know something will happen that i'll laugh about later - my latest game is trying to guess what it will be! So far, my money is on my sister. She is my maid of honor and is completely afraid of any flying insect. My wedding is going to be outside. She even asked if she could have fake flowers instead of real ones to carry down the aisle! The whole scenario has America's funniest home videos written all over it!We have already gone over the ceremony and picked out our vows and I love the way it all flows together. I just keep telling myself that no matter what happens during the wedding, the boy will be there for me and no one knows me better.







kac


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## Nikki (Jul 11, 2000)

Eric! Why didn't you tell me yuo were getting married??? Ive so been out of the loop!


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## BQ (May 22, 2000)

Yeah Eric!!! You better make sure your intended gives that bouquet a real good toss.... so Nikki has a chance at it too!!!







BQ


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## AZmom1 (Dec 6, 1999)

ERIC!!! Great news, congratulations! I've been away for a while since my IBS has not been a problem. You're marrying someone with IBS? Did you meet online or at your support group? What's the scoop? kac123, even good things in life cause stress and symptoms. Take care of yourself, take time to relax and exercise, and enjoy. BQ is right, we've been through a lot of weddings on this BB, and no problems to report. Anticipatory anxiety can cause the same symptoms as the actual event, so try not to anticipate the worst. Use CBT techniques to STOP the negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones. All the best,AZ


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## eric (Jul 8, 1999)

Thanks ladies.







I wonder how Kac is doing?AZ, long time. Glad your still doing well.







I met her where I work. We have lived together now for a year and a half now.We have great chemistry, you have to love good chemistry.







kac, let us know how your doing when you can.


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## kac123 (Aug 2, 2002)

Hi AZ - thanks for the good wishes!Thanks for asking Eric -- Its been a really rough week for my stomach and I. I don't know what exactly has it set off, but apparently its unhappy about something! It's frustrating because I can't quite figure it out. But it will get better soon.The wedding planning is going well - there's always something more that needs to be done but i'm pretty happy about where the plans are at this point. I just hope that I can keep it together as it gets closer to the actual date. I should have eloped!Thanks for asking and I hope that everything is going well with all of you!-Kac


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## Nikki (Jul 11, 2000)

Im glad you are getting on so wel Eric (and Kac). its weird that so many people have IBS isn't it?Stay in touch eric.Nikki


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