# Well I Had a Terrible Day Yesterday



## Guest (Feb 7, 2008)

Just goes to show - anyone prone to depression can get bad 'uns. I think, in fairness, I was very premenstrual, I was tired, I'd had a very busy and demanding day at work - all fine - but I should be able to read the signs by now - metallic taste in the mouth, panicky feelings, pins and needles - anyroad up - it was Jack's parents evening to discuss his progress in the Sixth Form and to talk about career options - he was very nervous and so was I. This sounds so incredibly feeble but I hate change and I'm not very good at dealing with it - my son is 17 and all being well, will be off to Uni in now just over a year. The parent's evening was to discuss University options and I think I was dreading it on 2 levels - one, because as I've said - it sort of represents his first step away from the nest and two - though he's a bright enough lad - compared to many at this grammar school - I suppose he'd seen academically as fairly "ordinary" - though I don't think anyone who knows or loves him could possibly describe him as "ordinary" - and the atmosphere with all these power suited dads and driven mothers is frankly alien and scarey - I feel like a fish out of water to be honest.Thank god Paul was there - for all these reasons but really from out of nowhere - I had the most massive panic attack - I know what they are and luckily grabbed the car keys from Paul and sat in the car. The only person I felt I could phone was Fay - my sister - who was absolutely fantastic - though god knows what our phone bill will be.I'm ashamed really - I should have seen this coming and should have simply said to Paul "I'm having a wobbly, I won't be able to cope - could you do this event with the boy solo" - he is fantastic and would have understood but I'm like that - I hate to be beaten - stiff upper lip - even when feeling ###### and then I get myself into a stupid and compromising situation like that.No harm done - the boy is doing really quite well and it was a productive evening for him and for Paul - I feel like a god awful failure that I couldn't even go to an important event like that - yet I can stand up in Court every other Tuesday and deal with difficult and vulnerable folk at work.Oh well - just goes to show - mental illness is a dynamic and challenging beast and cannot always be tamed.Thank god I only had this morning at work - I'm shattered.Sue


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## Cherrie (Sep 1, 2006)

{{{Sue}}}I totally understand. Situations like this are scary in that (1) they are scary situations and (2) it is too personally related (unlike in court, those people who need help are perceived as being in a professional relationship). So please don't feel bad -- there really was no way that you could have stopped what happened from happening and it happened because you're so close to Jack and you care about him so very much as a mother and as all mothers care about their kids. Having a lot of friends who are older than me and who all have kids, I totally get you about how tight the atmosphere can be when people compare their kids with pride and also stressful nerves. I mean, people do love their kids and I know that, but in (hearing) those conversations it just feels like their kids are their competitive edge and everything they talk about their kids and everything that their kids can do can be turned into something to compete about. What the point? I don't get it. How much pressure they put on one another and more importantly on their kids? I can only imagine. Every time after coming from these get-togethers/parties, I would say to my husband that when we have kids I just want our kids to be good persons who do _their _(not _the_) best in academics and sports and arts so that later on they can live a reasonably good life; BUT, I will _not _compare my kids the way those people do. If they try to do that to us and our kids, I'd just say, "That's wonderful that your kids can do all these wonderful things! I'm so happy for you and for them. My kids are doing well and doing their best and they are the happiest and most kind-hearted kids I know. And I am proud of them." (oops sorry I got a lil carried away when it comes to this topic).I guess what I want to say is, Sue, you have three most wonderful kids in the world and they are GREAT. They don't have to be compared to other kids. And they WILL be able to live a happy and fulfilling life because of who they are, because of their schooling, and because how well you and Paul have educated them. And you two are one of the best parents I've ever met -- I have a lot of respect for parents who won't let schooling get in the way of their kids education. And I am confident that everything is going to be just fine. {{{HUGS}}}CherrieAnd P.S. -- the situation you are in is enough to bring a parent without depression to an anxiety attack. So please don't blame yourself for it or anything else...


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## Lillett (Jun 4, 2006)

SueI don't blame you for wanting to try to attend. It's a big deal! And I even will at times push myself to do something that I would not normally do because of the IBS just to prove that I will survive. Sometimes it works really well and sometimes I have to pull out halfway through and sometimes I don't even make it. Before I did the IBS 100 tapes I would not have even tried this. So you should look at this as a small victory. And you controlled it, it did not control you! On a personal note, how exciting to be experiencing these things with your son. You must have a million emotions going through you all at once. Your son will do great. Look at the success you have achieved!


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## Guest (Feb 7, 2008)

Oh thanks girlies - I dunno - it all seemed such a big deal yesterday but I was having a laugh with my wonderful mate Sue who also has a lad at the school - she said "rejoice in your eccentricities Sue and thank the lord we are not all power-suited success wanabee clones" - luv her - but yeah not all 45 year old mothers sit bawling in their husband's old b*stard volvos sobbing down the phone to their equally unhinged sisters in rural west Cork. Fay makes me laugh too - she was gloomed out in her fancy dress hire shop - "you know what Suz - I've sold one pair of Size 10 high heeled silver platform boots to a cross-dresser" - sort of puts things into perspective.Sue


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## overitnow (Nov 25, 2001)

Hi Sue,I do hope things are falling back into place after last night. It must be difficult as a mother, especially watching her first child getting ready to go out that door. I know, even out of the house for 4 years, Mom was quite torn up when I moved off to Toronto. It was good that Paul was there and that it didn't sweep over you while driving or arguing a case at work. (By the time Soph is 18, you will probably be holding the door and packing for the Adriatic.) Still, I think these are normal emotions. Churchill is gone and the War is over. It's ok to stumble from time to time; recommended, even. {{{{RED WINE}}}Marco


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## Guest (Feb 7, 2008)

Oh thanks babes - 2 of my friends with their last leaving the nest when Jack does are now talking of fostering - yikes - I think I'll just buy a fleet of llamas instead.Yeah I'm grand today - and at least its got the boy doing some serious research about what he actually wants to do with his lfe and where - favourite seems to be Nottingham Uni - why - "oh the social life is supposed to be ace mum" - good to know he's got his priorities right!!!Sue


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## Poo Pea 2 (Jan 4, 2008)

Hey Sue,I wanted to write something very quickly.... im just about to be picked up for the weekend, but I wanted you to know im thinking of you darls. Please dont feel like a failure, your anything but. Your a beautiful person who when is able bends over backwards for everyone!!!!. I dont know where i would have been without your supportive words.Plus the whole kiddies leaving home thing, i think its a very very common feeling youve got going on there lol. Especially when its the first one P.S. I will write more on Monday..... lifes been a rollercoaster. Just remember your one of the few truely good ppl left in this world.Poo Pea (((hugs)))


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## Guest (Feb 8, 2008)

Oh Poo - what a lovely post - god bless you and great to see you on here. Do let us know how you are getting on after the w/e won't you.Sue xxxx


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## 23208 (Jan 22, 2006)

Sue,I know how you feel. I missed both of my younger sons birthday parties because I just couldn't cope. We had our 10 year olds at a pizza place and I actually did go but I had to have my husband take me home because I just couldn't stand it. It was crowded and very warm in there, with a limited amount of bathrroms. We had our 7 year olds party at a different pizza place which is not as crowded but I couldn't even make it out my front door. It's been like that since the first birthday party. I should probably explain that their birthdays are only two weeks apart. Now, even the thought of leaving my house is enough to cause a panic attack. I know that eventually I'll have to go out again but right now I can't do it.Don't let one panic attack set you back like mine has for right now. Shannon


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## Guest (Feb 11, 2008)

Oh Shannon - you poor old duck - trouble is these things feed on themselves don't they - you sort of "condition" yourself to not be able to cope. I'm pretty well now - I'm nervous this morning - I'm on quite an intensive course for work - unfamiliar surroundings, unfamiliar people - still, I'm sort of gearing myself up for the challenge. Its so life-limiting anxiety isn't it - have you had any treatment/help for this - you don't want to be housebound - especially with small kiddies. I so empathise - I've battled with those sorts of "demons" most of my adult life.I hope things get better for you and thanks for you post.Sue xx


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