# My sad story



## creature (Jul 11, 2014)

Hi everyone! In advance I want to say sorry for my mistakes. I'm not very good at English. My story is not much different of yours I think. I've been suffering from IBS for more than 30 years. I'm 41 now. My first problems started when I was 6 or 7. I'm not sure if it was caused by poisoning with some food or something else. Actually I'm a very emotional and sensitive person so it could be influence of some stress. But at that time I didn't realized how much this disease would spoil all my life. The last two years at school were very hard for me and then I had to give up any idea of good education at university. I only finished some courses and got a job at the office. But it's very stressful as you know. Work at silence.. when constantly bloating is a terrible thing. I regularly took laxatives because of constipation. When I was 36 I tried gluten-free diet and to my surprise it helped me to give up laxatives. I also use FODMAP diet but I still have too much gas. Not often but sometimes it's leaky. It's so terrible! I'm very embarrassed by it. I had many friends in my childhood and in my 20s. But I never told them about my problem. It was very difficult to hide it and I decided to stop any relations with them. It was very painful for them and for me too. Now I realize that it was so stupid! If I'd told them everything they would have supported me. I've never been married and have no children. I had long-term relationship with a good man but refused from marriage because of this f**king IBS. I know despite of IBS many of you got married, travelled and etc. I admire you. You are brave. But I am not like that. Besides that since my childhood I always was sure that I'm alone and nobody has the same issue. I was so surprised when in 2009 I accidently found a forum with people who suffer like me. But it was anonymous without any contacts so we could write only there. And after some time the forum was deleted. Not long ago I found this site and I'm here to share my experience and meet people who struggle with IBS, and maybe even meet new friends who feel the same. So we won't need to explain our condition to each other. So feel free to write to me and good luck to all of us.


----------



## IndianRopeTrick (Jul 25, 2013)

привет ! Welcome to the forum.I am sorry to hear about your experience. IBS is a real pain for me too, but I try to keep myself as happy as possible. It helps a little bit. If you feel down anytime, pour your feelings out on the forum for relief. If you need some help, there are plenty of people here who can give you some clues. But, in the end you will have to consult your

doctor. Btw, are you Russian ?


----------



## tummyrumbles (Aug 14, 2005)

Starch is a bigger problem for me than FODMAPs but there's not much on starches here. Starch can cause gas which in turn causes constipation. Some of us have to spend hours evacuating but this helps a lot with the leaky gas. I'd never advise anyone with IBS to work in an office. I'm an office worker too and it's the most stressful thing having to sit at your desk all day, especially when others are close by. I'd advise people who haven't got a degree to get a sales job. We have a big hardware warehouse here and I often see the staff just walking around casually. That would be an ideal job for someone with leaky gas. No meetings to attend, no-one sitting close by, and if there's gas there's so much room to be by yourself. The pay would be poor but that's not the most important thing. I regret choosing the job I have. I'd much prefer walking around the place instead of being cooped up at a desk.

Relationships never worked out for me but a lot of people here have spouses who love them and stick by them so anything is possible. If I was looking, I'd consider placing a personal ad and advising that I had IBS and looking for someone similar. I think that would take a lot of stress out of it.


----------



## IndianRopeTrick (Jul 25, 2013)

tummyrumbles said:


> Relationships never worked out for me but a lot of people here have spouses who love them and stick by them so anything is possible. If I was looking, I'd consider placing a personal ad and advising that I had IBS and looking for someone similar. I think that would take a lot of stress out of it.


Yes, dating can be quite difficult with IBS. I think most women (rightly) are looking for a financially and physically stable partner. I suspect that the physical aspect of a relationship has a huge importance to both men and women, possibly more in men. Since IBS prevents a person from satisfying all these requirements consistently, dating can be hard. I won't suggest placing an ad which mentions IBS. Instead you could try to get a paid account on a dating site like okcupid. It has a huge, increasing questionnaire (30-150) which I guess could be better in finding a good match for you. Once you get to know a person, you gauge their personality a bit, then you can slowly open up to them. I wouldn't lay out my life or medical problems in a personal ad, because it can hurt employment if done on the internet. Besides, who reads personals anyway ?

PS: Are you a guy ?


----------



## tummyrumbles (Aug 14, 2005)

No I'm a lady. I think physical attraction is important for both sides in a relationship otherwise you may as well just have a friendship. I'm not interested myself anymore, I'm looking to become a grandma if anything. I just thought that people here probably don't feel confident enough to try to get a partner with this condition. Do people put their real names on personal ads? I thought they'd all be anonymous. I just thought if you admit straight up you're more likely to get genuine people who are prepared to look past things like that. Or if you both had IBS it would be a lot easier all round. Or you could advertise on an online service where you'd have to use your real name but maybe just allude to health problems. I feel sorry for all the younger people here who might never start a family otherwise.


----------



## creature (Jul 11, 2014)

IndianRope Trick,

Thank you very much for your reply. It's very kind of you. Yes, I'm Russian.



IndianRopeTrick said:


> Once you get to know a person, you gauge their personality a bit, then you can slowly open up to them.


It's the most difficult part. I've never could manage it. That's why I'm alone. And now I'm sure the best decision is to find somebody in the same condition. And then to encourage each other. It would be great because sometimes I don't see any sense in my life.


----------



## creature (Jul 11, 2014)

Tummyrumbles,

Thank you a lot for your reply. I appreciate it.



tummyrumbles said:


> If I was looking, I'd consider placing a personal ad and advising that I had IBS and looking for someone similar. I think that would take a lot of stress out of it.


From one hand it's a good way to meet somebody similar but from other hand I'm confused to reveal these problems somewhere except site like this. In my opinion people can be very cruel and nobody wants to be laughed at.


----------



## IndianRopeTrick (Jul 25, 2013)

creature said:


> It would be great because sometimes I don't see any sense in my life.


What do you mean by this ? If I may guess, did you mean to say you feel that your life is incomplete without a partner/boyfriend/husband ?


----------



## creature (Jul 11, 2014)

IndianRopeTrick said:


> What do you mean by this ? If I may guess, did you mean to say you feel that your life is incomplete without a partner/boyfriend/husband ?


In some measure yes. Sometimes I think about a companion because I live alone and it's boring a little bit. But companion should be with the same symptoms


----------



## IndianRopeTrick (Jul 25, 2013)

creature said:


> In some measure yes. Sometimes I think about a companion because I live alone and it's boring a little bit. But companion should be with the same symptoms


Yes, it can be hard especially for people who desire for company. I have noticed that doing chores or doing some of my hobbies helps to distract me from the problem and from the need to date. I don't really feel a strong urge to date, but it would be nice to do. What do you do when you are alone ?

Btw, it seems that your English is quite good. I am able to understand you clearly. I was just wondering where you learned English. Is it a compulsory second language in Russia ? Any chance you are an expatriate from an English speaking country ?


----------



## creature (Jul 11, 2014)

IndianRopeTrick said:


> Yes, it can be hard especially for people who desire for company. I have noticed that doing chores or doing some of my hobbies helps to distract me from the problem and from the need to date. I don't really feel a strong urge to date, but it would be nice to do. What do you do when you are alone ?
> 
> Btw, it seems that your English is quite good. I am able to understand you clearly. I was just wondering where you learned English. Is it a compulsory second language in Russia ? Any chance you are an expatriate from an English speaking country ?


 In some way I am already used to being alone and I don't feel a strong urge to date too. But some dates are very positive moments in the ordinary life. Good mood makes us healthier and more energetic. I do not set myself the goal to be married or something. But I really need true friends to share good and bad sides of our lives.

Thanks for your praise about my knowledge of English. But it's too too far from perfect. English is not a compulsory second language here. And I'm not an expatriate from English-speaking countries.. I'm learning it by myself. It's kind of my hobby. So I spend lots of time for it. I like to watch movies in English. Sometimes I watch them with subtitles if I can't make out words. Unfortunately I have no speaking practice. I have never been abroad. Actually I've never travelled even about my country. It's a bit tricky for me with my symptoms. My second hobby is yoga. I like exercises which make body more flexible and mind calm.

What about you? What helps you to be a bit happier?


----------



## IndianRopeTrick (Jul 25, 2013)

The following things make me happy -

1 - Being symptom free, very alert and energetic.

2 - Getting enough restful sleep.

3 - Being able to work at full potential.

4 - Getting a chance to socialize and joke with people.

5 - Playing with cute, furry animals.


----------



## creature (Jul 11, 2014)

I'm afraid the first four items are impossible for me. I had some hopes for cure till my thirty but now I understand I have to put up with this condition till I die. This thought makes me be depressed. Any kind of food causes bloating and I can sleep only if I take diazepam. But I don't want to get addiction to this medicine so I take it every other day or once a week when I'm exhausted by lack of sleep. A few years ago I was so angry with me and my IBS that I began to eat very little but eventually I only got new problems with my health.

When I read that there are millions of people who suffer from IBS I don't understand why I don't see at least one in my real life. People who I see around me can eat any food, travel anywhere, learn, work, live after all. I've recently seen documentary by Terry Pratchett "Choosing to die". I think if had any chance to get such kind of help I would use it. I am a Christian and all religions forbid suicide and things like that. But sometimes I'm so desperate that I just want to die. I'm sure many of sufferers have these thoughts from time to time. Too gloomy ideas today&#8230;


----------



## IndianRopeTrick (Jul 25, 2013)

Forget about the suicide, regardless of religion or lack thereof. I suggest that you do this yourself or get a friend to do it as well - List all the good things about you and all your potential. Eg Can be an amazing language teacher. Can cook asian food well etc. Then list all the things wrong with your body and mind. Try to find out what is preventing you from correcting those wrongs and how you can correct them. Put these lists here if you wish. You might be pleasantly surprised if you see a lot going for you. If we can help, we will add solutions to your problems. Hang in there and let us help you.

I will recommend some things to kill the gloominess:

1 - Join some volunteer group.

2 - Teach small kids.

3 - See funny pics on motifake website

3 - See funny articles on cracked.com

4 - See funny articles on oatmeal website.

5 - Funny shows : The simpsons and Family guy.

6 - Go for walks in parks where people are present.

I hope this helps a bit. Try to be near people as much as you can. Find women in your area who you can be friends with. Can you do this one ?


----------



## creature (Jul 11, 2014)

Thank you very much for your advice. I really appreciate it. I wonder if psychologist can help with IBS. Maybe somebody here has this experience.

It seems not so easy to make these lists but I'll try..And thank you again for links. Funny sites..


----------



## IndianRopeTrick (Jul 25, 2013)

creature said:


> Thank you very much for your advice. I really appreciate it. I wonder if psychologist can help with IBS. Maybe somebody here has this experience.
> 
> It seems not so easy to make these lists but I'll try..And thank you again for links. Funny sites..


Yes, could go to a psych. IF you want to try some CBT therapy, here is an audio product :

IBS Audio Program 100 for Irritable Bowel Syndrome Self-Hypnosis

http://www.amazon.com/Audio-Program-Irritable-Syndrome-Self-Hypnosis/dp/0954751302

I saw this mentioned in some places on the site. Ask other people about it and also read the amazon reviews if you wish.


----------



## creature (Jul 11, 2014)

Thank you very much.

Wow, there is a lot of stuff linked with IBS on Amazon. I have never seen anything similar in Russia. The only that needed is money. LOL. Well, I will keep in mind. Maybe one day I'll able to order these things.


----------



## cookies4marilyn (Jun 30, 2000)

hello Creature and welcome -

Take a look at my story in the links below - as Indian Rope Trip suggested - many people have had some good success with the IBS Audio Program - I found out about it on this support board back in 2000 and now I am the patient support associate for the program helping others. If you go to the healthyaudio . com site, you will see more info about it, and at a reduced price - also - you get free ongoing support if needed along the way. Feel free to go to their contact page for more info - or email healthyaudio - at - live.com if you wish. I speak with many IBS sufferers and I would be happy to reply to any questions you may have... we have had quite a few IBS sufferers try this program after all else had failed - and after having IBS for many years, and it was helpful to them, so do not give up hope. We have had sufferers from over 40 countries complete the program, even when English was not their native language and it helped them too. So there is hope - not a cure and doesnt work for everyone, but it does seem to help most folks who try it... take care and all the best to you in your journey to feeling better.


----------



## creature (Jul 11, 2014)

Thanks. I'm going to study opinions of people who have already tried this method. I believe it's very individual. When I was 17 I tried some hypnosis but it didn't work at all. Anyway if somebody get better it's worth trying.


----------



## cookies4marilyn (Jun 30, 2000)

Yes, it is very individual - but still many people are helped with this method - might not be right for you. Or the actual protocol that was used when you were 17 was not one that was helpful for IBS. As far as IBS goes, the protocol needs to be gut-directed or gut-specific for the best response. But your particular case may not respond, and perhaps one on one therapy of another sort would be more helpful to you. I know it is hard; I was housebound with IBS, as are many folks who suffer with this condition, and this makes for more depression. The program helps you feel better, reduce symptoms, but also, helps you with overall outlook on life, to release burdens and cares. But given your situation, you may not respond, most folks do, but perhaps you are one of those where something else would be better. The other sites and suggestions are helpful too - anything you can do in the moment, can get you through and hopefully adds to progress. I wish you well - take care.


----------



## creature (Jul 11, 2014)

Thank you so much. Your replies are very helpful not only for me I guess. I'm so sorry for people who struggle with IBS like me or even more. I can see hundreds of stories that make me cry and I wish everybody to be cured one way or another.


----------

