# Anticipating Pain



## BQ (May 22, 2000)

I'm trying NOT to do this, believe me. But I'm real close to that time of the month again & these little thoughts of, "wonder how bad its gonna be this month", "calendar looks pretty busy, hope I can feel well enough to do it all","hope the medicine works better this month", etc. are creeping into my head. They aren't screaming thoughts,....yet. And I want to keep them from being screaming thoughts if ya know what I mean. Is it OK to have thoughts like these? Or are these bad, negative thoughts? I kinda like to plan activities around this time but I can't always accomplish this, I realize I might have to cancel things or re-schedule things(ie dental appts. etc) and that wouldn't be the end of the world. But I NOTICED that I was HAVING these thoughts last night & I was wondering if this is a natural tendency when one HAS pain, especially pain that is consistent time wise. Like I wonder(really no comparison to IBS but...) if people undergoing chemo treatments have this anticipatory type feelings b/4 the next round? They KNOW they are not going to feel well after. Is this OK to have these types of thoughts? If it is considered setting myself up to fail or is it just being realistic?If these are NOT OK thoughts, any ideas what I could replace them with??? Any help here would be great & I thank you all in advance.







BQPs Just thought...Hope this is posted in the right place, I just immmediately came here to ask this without thinking(Now there's something that doesn't happen everyday! Me..not thinking







) If it is not in the right place feel free to move it. Thanks







[This message has been edited by BQ (edited 03-07-2001).]


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## BBolen Ph.D (Nov 9, 2000)

Yes, these kinds of thoughts are normal if you have been traumatized by feeling ill in the past. Since you know that your symptoms tend to be more severe at certain times, then plan accordingly and reduce your commitments. There is a difference between planning and projecting. Planning is having well-developed coping strategies in place should something bad happen. Projecting is just thinking about how awful something might be without taking coping into account. Projecting usually begins with "What if..." To combat these thoughts write them down on the left-hand side of a piece of paper. For each thought write down a coping statement on the right side. For example "What if the new medicine doesn't work?" can be countered with "If I stay calm and let the medicine do it's job, I should feel better. If I have severe symptoms anyway, I will just cope with them and then discuss other treatments with my doctor. In any case, thinking about this now is not going to help one bit so let me focus on what I am dealing with today. And yes, this is the right forum, good for you for maintaining a healthy focus on recovery.------------------This input is provided solely for educational purposes and is not to be seen as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always consult a qualified professional about your personal medical needs and any questions you may have regarding this information.


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## Kathleen M. (Nov 16, 1999)

BQ there are no bad thoughts, it's what you do with them that makes all the difference. I dunno if you've done any meditating, but I find sometimes the weirdest thoughts will pop up. The healthiest thing to do IMO is notice your thinking the thought and let it go (which sounds alot easier than it is sometimes). To a large extent I don't think we are in total control of those types of thoughts and I think everyone has some version of them. Judging yourself for having them doesn't seem to be very useful, it's what you do after they pop up that matters. K.------------------I have no financial, academic, or any other stake in any commercial product mentioned by me.My story and what worked for me in greatly easing my IBS: http://www.ibsgroup.org/ubb/Forum17/HTML/000015.html


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## BQ (May 22, 2000)

Dr. B & K, Thanks for giving me ye old reliable affirmations!!! You guys are soooo helpful all the time to everyone & I hope you both know how much you are appreciated.







I was almost sure it was OK, because I kept using the word "hope". If I had given myself a little more time I probably would have put together the difference between planning versus projecting. I feel like I'm planning & not projecting. I think the first sentence of your post K is an absolute truth & I need to hear it ALOT. May have to put that one on the fridge!







I usually really try to avoid projection (used to actually LIVE that way all the time. That was awful, but I've learned better & try to DO better.) & expect the best but plan for the worst w/o jumping on that anxiety freight train. But I like to nip things in the bud & needed some feedback & I came to the best place! NOW I can let it go. Thanks so much! BQ


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## eric (Jul 8, 1999)

BQ, I hope your feeling better. ------------------I work with Mike and the IBS Audio Program. www.ibshealth.com www.ibsaudioprogram.com


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