# What's your lifestyle like?



## CalmWaters (Mar 31, 2017)

Hey guys! I don't really log in much but I'm curious as to what your lifestyle are like. How are you guys managing to work, to go to school, to live with flatus incontinence? As for me, I'm still a student. It's hard going to class four days a week, missing out on extracurriculars, and not being able to help yourself as a pre-med major. They don't teach you anything about clinical things in undergrad studies. So how I go about during the day is:

6:30AM: wake up, morning routine, feel anxious about stepping outside the house, eat some carbs and proteins for breakfast, try to empty bowels before school (sometimes failing)

7:30AM: Leave for school, take public transportation where I get comments from the community about being shameless and always seeing me on the train, smelling like shit or fart. I'm mortified every day, it feels like torture. Lots of sniffling and coughing.

9:00AM: Class begins, my classmates comment about me, my professors coughs at times.

12:00AM: lunch, try to get something that makes me less gassy even though I sometimes don't feel the gas...

3:00AM: More classes...wishes to go home at this point

5:30AM: I take public transportation again, and guess what happens?

7:30AM: I get home, I'm sad, and I have to cope with having to live with this every day. My family doesn't understand, and they can't smell anything.

Weekends: Trap myself at home. I go no where. It's also easy on my wallet.

But long story short, it's helluva long life to live and we're all striving to be "normal." Hopefully we will reach that point. Care to share your story?


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## NotToday (Feb 23, 2017)

Hi fellow pre-med! You are very courageous for going to class every day!

I've been only going to exams this past year which sucks because my classes are very difficult because it's a competitive high ranking university and everyone is cutthroat about grades. I've been arranging my class schedule so that attendance is not mandatory and I only take classes that offer video/audio recordings of lectures after each class, but I can't do that forever T.T

My family thinks my odor issues are all in my head because they can't smell me, so each morning I get up and attempt to at least show up to one lecture to placate them.

Reading about your schedule makes me want to go to classes more despite the sneezing, sniffling and everything else that comes with being a human stink bomb. So thanks fam!

Lastly I was thinking today, there are a lot of us here, I'm sure we can come together and create a product that can mask our symptoms. I was thinking something wearable. Not like the carbon filter underwear though, those were a waste of money for me.


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## CalmWaters (Mar 31, 2017)

Hey, NotToday. Someone who finally gets me!! I was going to take an online course to lighten the torture on my psyche, but I realized I had signed up for the wrong course. OTL. My school doesn't offer video lectures and attendance is mandatory. I'm already in my senior year. Technically I should be graduating spring 2018 but I'm one semester behind since I dropped my classes once before.

It really sucks having to go out into the open. I can't figure out what's wrong with me. I have 2 internal prolapsed hemorrhoids. I might have also developed IBS with the stress because I've been getting diarrhea and gas pains lately even if I try to hold a little gas, which I attempt every day and fail at. I feel like my hemorrhoids are blocking my sphincter from closing properly. The smell always gets worse when I irritate them. Also, they're all bunched up in the back so the gas I feel gets released in the front. I'm also going to see a psychiatrist for anxiety pills. One psychiatrist tried to poison me with antipsychotics despite the fact that the problem wasn't in my head. I'm also a child of a schizophrenic. Stuff like that might trigger me. If this problem doesn't get cured, I might consider another career, like garbage disposal. My self esteem dies every time.


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## meager (May 1, 2009)

Hey, I actually drunkenly posted a similar topic on the Storys forum, but then drunkenly deleted it for some reason. Don't give up CalmWaters, none of my doctors believed me either and indeed one of them prescribed me an SSRI years ago. I quit that ###### because it wasn't helping me fix the root cause of my problem. I know a garbage man in San Francisco, I think they make just over 6 figures I believe? It's nothing to be ashamed of. Also I have hemorrhoids too, I've felt them sticking out during BMs but I'll talk about it in a bit.

Similar to you guys, I was a pre-med major but dropped out about 4 years ago due to anxiety about odor. I also figured, how could I take care of patients, endure clinicals, all the while being in close proximity to others? Who would take me seriously in such a profession, let alone allow me to interact with patients? I definitely wouldn't allow my patients to suffer my odor. Hell, I remember getting my phlebotomy cert and felt terrible for everyone having to stick me or whenever I had to stick them.

I've been working as a paramedic for a couple years. Good thing with that is I can roll down the windows in the ambulance, or if we'll be driving on the freeway, I'll hang out in the back and turn on the vent/AC (with my ass pointed near the vent). When people are dying, it turns out they don't care about the smell so I don't have to worry about that most of the time. Also, a majority of our patients are high off their asses, knocked out, homeless, and mentally or criminally insane so odor is the least of anyone's issues. It's bad if the ER is backed up and we have to wait for a while. Once I just couldn't stop farting, and some other medics commented "that patient wouldn't stop ripping ass







." I have days where my gas is so bad that the vent doesn't help, especially if we're in an old rig. Stress doesn't help as well, but so far I've been managing a lot better with a healthier diet and BM regimen.

My day importantly begins the night before, as I drink a high fiber smoothie about 8-10 hours before my morning BM. In the morning I'll have a bit of coffee or caffeinated tea and then take a massive dump, finishing in about 30 seconds (important not to strain). After my morning BM I'll hop in the shower and use the head like a bidet, then take a sitz bath. I've been doing this because I've noticed after years of straining and wiping, hemorrhoids were starting to stick out during BMs and cause bleeding. I believe the hemorrhoids are a big part of the issue because even when I'm not farting, a fecal smell may come wafting out so this regimen in conjunction with exercises I believe will help to shrink them.

On the days I'm not working, I'm finishing nursing prerequisites. I chose this profession because during my time in hospitals, nurses can have their own stations away from others, and they are also around a lot of ###### either directly or indirectly. Actually, especially in San Francisco with the large homeless population, ERs can absolutely REEK. There is a special room in one of the ERs where they stick all the crazies and homeless, so it's funky central. My partners will often be amazed at how I can casually walk up to smelly patients and strike a conversation without flinching from the odor. If anything, I can work in a nursing facility. Those places stink SOO bad.

So yeah that's my story! It's interesting how we all deal with these medical problems, but we're still pursuing medical careers.

edit: I'd also like to add that I have a wonderful girlfriend who's been extremely supportive, been dating for almost two years. However, I don't want her to move in as I haven't completely fixed the problem yet.


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## Candide (Jun 14, 2017)

I had a problem with my anus for two years. Something felt weird and feces would often get stuck after a bowel movement. My GP couldn't give me an explanation, so that left me really depressed. Someone asked me once if I had farted, which triggered my anxiety. Knowing something was wrong with my asshole, I tried to keep gas in, which only made things worse.

I went on internship and had to go through public transport for 3 hours everyday to be at some company for 9 hours. Add to that moving out house and having to work together with someone with bad social skills that didn't trust me. Which was partly because I had this smell problem I was trying to deal with. As time went on I got all kind of IBS symptoms (diarrhea, cramping, bowel movements consisting of just mucus, leaking mucus/fecal particles). It was horrible and I wanted to kill myself near the end. I felt like going from being someone with some annoyance with his ahole to having fecal incontinence and PTSD.

When that period was over, things became rather comfortable, I don't have to go to school, because there are only some assignments left I have to make. The odor problem is gone now and so is the feeling of urgency and other IBS symptoms. But other problems, like extreme itch at night and sometimes feces stuck that come out later after a bowel movement, remain. The latter ruins my mood sometimes, but I can live with it.

I would like to go to university to get a degree in biology & IT so I can research FBO. But maybe it's not worth the financial risk and I should just get a job and do research on my own. There are a lot of smart people on this forum, maybe we can figure out a good way to make money over the internet from home.

*@Meager*

That's a great story. Living with FBO and having a job and girlfriend, is truly admirable. Have you ever considered working night shifts? Your story reminded me of a video on some woman from the UK with TMAU. She works night shifts at a hospital and has a boyfriend that doesn't supports her. I will try to find this video.


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## meager (May 1, 2009)

Hey Candide. Thanks a lot, it took a long time to get over hating myself but I one day I just figured f*ck it, living in a bubble wasn't gonna do anything and I couldn't keep holding myself back. F*ck people who laugh or belittle you, it shows their true character and you don't want to be their friends anyways. I'm fortunate to have found a core group of people who truly like me for who I am, and that's what is important. However, I still avoid being in the car with them as much as possible because I wouldn't want them to suffer.

That's good your odor's gone. I was also considering a bio degree, but y'know.. squeaky clean lab situations in stagnant enclosed spaces, not really many options to hide my smell there. I used to work 24 hours shifts or nights, but they were stressful and I couldn't keep up with a consistent bowel and dietary regimen. For night shifts I'd have to share a room or be in an enclosed space with my partner, and I was always paranoid about the smell. I couldn't open windows at night because it was cold, so I quit that. I could see myself working in a hospital though, less people interaction would help anxiety. I just looked up that video, and I've gotta give props to her. TMAU I believe is a lot worse than our conditions since fishy odor is permeating from all the pores of your body, but her story resonates with me. I've also talked to my coworkers about my condition, but I word it as food sensitivity flaring up my IBS which isn't a complete lie and they've been understanding. We can all find happiness and ways of managing if not completely curing our conditions.


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## mantaray (May 14, 2017)

Hi CalmWaters

My day goes like this

6:00AM: Wake up, drink half glass water, eat some bread. I always get up over an hour before I leave because this gives time for the BM to happen

7:15AM:Head to work on public transportation. I stink up the bus and the train carriage, but don't really care, just browse on my phone

8:00AM: Arrive at work, put some cologne on. Smells bad around my seat. When people walk past me they take a deep breath, which I think is so stupid because they are breathing more of my odour in!

12:00 Lunch and opportunity to relax, walk around and get rid of the normal (fart) gas.

5:30pm: Go home via public transport. My LG doesn't seem to be as bad in the late afternoon

You should get some cologne and put it on, but not over do it.

I'm very routine about my meals, same things everyday at the same time and don't believe I am allergic to any food (wheat is fine). Weekends are rest days so Friday night through to Saturday night I can eat anything that I want.

Incomplete bowel movement is 50% of my problem. If I have an incomplete BM, I will feel uncomfortable and seem to fart/stink a lot, probably due to the stuck crap fermenting. I get poo stuck in the first centimeter from the exit hole so I always make sure to have a BM and then have a shower and wash the area. I literally spread my cheeks and wash the hole. Also when I have a BM, towards the end I will get some paper and blow my nose, this helps empty 99%. During the day I do not get streaks or anything like that. I get home and my bum is still as clean as when I washed it in the morning.

When I sit down, my anus and area between anus and balls is uncomfortable. It is not a sharp pain but more like agitated/tense? I think I read someone else write that it is related to the Pelvic Floor.

So LG is the major thing now that I am trying to sort out now.

I'm assuming you're young, don't waste your time at home. Go out and do things outdoors eg beach, swimming, snorkelling, hiking, bike riding, camping etc. You can actually meet people. Weekends should be considered as "You" time, where you do things you enjoy and relax and take a break from everything.

Another thing is that you need to build up resilience, that is, you desensitise yourself to other peoples comments. This is very important. Train your mind to not give a stuff. You need to want to complete school, get good marks and get a good job. Think along the lines of "I've been through so much and gotten this far, and will not let anything get in the way of me achieving my goals". NO ONE will get in my way.

College is the time when it is the easiest to make lifelong friends. Try to join some clubs with outdoorsy events and make lots of friends. When you get a job, it's a lot harder to make friends so having an existing non-work circle of people you can meet up with and just chill is very important. I didn't do any of that as I had bad BM habits, probably didnt eat healthy, got lots of abdominal cramps etc. I didn't have LG in College, it was only after a few years in the work force, probably after lots of straining that I got the LG. I look back now and think what an opportunity I missed. As a result I have a very small group of friends.

Early on in my career I was always sensitive to other peoples comments and as a result I didn't do well at my job and didn't learn much. My job history has also been quite patchy. However it got to the stage where I was desperate and had a family to support. All of a sudden I just didn't care about the comments anymore, because I had a job to do and had to get paid so I could support my family. I'm very focused now and thankful for the work opportunity so am working my arse off to learn the trade and make sure that I upskill. I ignore all the comments, sniffs, etc.


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## Candide (Jun 14, 2017)

pengu said:


> You guys sound completely different from me.


It's because we all have something different going on.



pengu said:


> Second or I cannot go outside or interact with anybody if i have had coffee.


Caffeine lowers sphincter pressure.



pengu said:


> I got this in my mid teens and have had it for 10 years. I try not to think about how much I've missed out on because of this condition.


Don't compare yourself to others. There are people, including myself, that have missed out on teenage experiences without having digestive and or odor problems. Some people without odor sit at home all day, while you're out there working a job to provide for yourself.



pengu said:


> @candide how is your odor gone?


My theory, as I haven't been diagnoses, is that I have some kind of internal hemorrhoids. The GP couldn't find anything with physical and visual examination. The worst and most stressful time of my life was over and I did what Pokerface said helped him. Whenever I feel gas building up, I don't try to hold it in and it will stay in. Then I stopped thinking as much about the problem, which improved my mood and suddenly there are less times I feel like I have to pass wind.


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## Guest (Oct 15, 2017)

Same as Pengu here, no social life, my problem started when i was 13/14 years old, now i´m 36 years old. When i was in last year of highschool i decided that there was no way that i could excel at anything in university with that level of stress and i didn´t want to expose other persons to my smells, c´mon, that smell made me sick, can you imagine the other people?

I had some of gardening and lumberjack jobs but after a few months i always ended up quitting because my bosses send me to buy things that broke in the middle of the job, so imagine me going to a crowded space all sweaty and extremely smelly. Living in a small town didn´t help at all.

Eventually my fathers understood my situation and gave me a good urban terrain and also helped me with money, plus to that it was the income of any temporary jobs like house painting and all that, and so i started building little departments for rental, everything with my own hands, even ground leveling just with a hand shovel and no assistants, working alone at least i´m stress free. I have been doing that for the last 10 years and at least now i don´t have major problems with money, i can have a "decent" life without having to work but i don´t really dislike building so i guess i will keep doing that until who knows when.

A good family is so important, for me they made a big difference.


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## Guest (Oct 15, 2017)

I´m sorry Pengu to read that you feel so alone. If you want to talk about anything, you know, we are here.


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## CalmWaters (Mar 31, 2017)

I'm there for you too, Pengu and Mariano. Sometimes, I wish I would just disappear from the face of the earth. I have friends but I distanced myself from them and I'm on the verge of losing them. I was afraid this would happen. Everyone already took the MCAT and they're applying to med schools but me. We're all stuck at the point of social rejection and lost dreams and youth. Gosh, and I'm only 21. On my last birthday, I wished for this thing to be gone haha.

Also, I'd hate to break it to others but I've read online that prolapses can't be fixed with just pelvic floor exercises but the symptoms can be lessened. I'm not sure to what extent. Colon doctors hate touching those parts because they don't have enough knowledge to fix it the way you want it to feel.

Also, I'm not in need of income at the moment, but I probably won't be finding any jobs. It's so difficult not to interact with anyone in places like New York. I'm seeing yet another psychiatrist to see if my anxiety can still be fixed. I'll keep you guys updated.


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## Guest (Oct 15, 2017)

Thanks Calmwaters, same to you too, we are here for anything you want to talk.

You are young, 21, you are still on time to find ways to solve or control this problem so you can have the life you choose to have, there is a lot of thing you can try now, when i was at my 21 it was really hard to find medical info or other persons with this problem, and the internet was on it´s diapers.

From what i understand for many of us prolapse is not the cause of bad smell, we did successful rectopexys but the smell continued, along with gas incontinence. But, surely exercises have a different impact with and without prolapse. Indeed is a hard problem to understand, much more to solve.

Nice city is New York, and since is so big you can at least choose different stores every time so you don´t get a bad name, where i live i have just 2 small supermarkets, a couple of hardware stores, and so on so sadly i´m well known and laughed for my smell problem. Economically i don´t have a choice for the moment, i have to stay.

Regards.


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## Candide (Jun 14, 2017)

Mariano, how is ordering stuff online from Argentina? Often times here hardware products are much cheaper if you order online and from China with free shipping it's even more so.

Also those people that laugh at you are just idiots with no sympathy.


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## PokerFace (Jan 13, 2017)

Candide, I'm so happy you are doing good because of my post. You should share it has helped on my thread too, it would encourage other to try


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## Guest (Oct 15, 2017)

For small products like watches, cellphones, small hand tools, etc. under 200 USA dollars no major problems, we do the declaration, pay the 50% tax and is door to door shipment, but is slow, no less to 2 months. Above 200 dollars i don´t know, i always buy cheap things of around 100 dollars like dashcams, home security cameras, a toy telescope for spying on my neighb... forget that.

For more expensive things i go to Chile, not the variety you can find in first world countries but the stock is modern and with nice prices.

About people that laugh and all that, at first i was mad at them but one day i thought "what if i would never suffered from this smelly problem and i would interacted with a smelly person like me? I would laughed? Made jokes? Made bad comments? Put a bad face? Sprayed perfume or something like that?"

And now i´m not mad at them anymore, this is how humans are.


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## CalmWaters (Mar 31, 2017)

Hey, guys. I have an update. So I've started taking taking tricyclic antidepressants and I've been really gassy today. I've farted like 5 times in the morning before I left. So on public transport, I knew people were trying to dodge me because of the smell and I was trying to hold everything in but the smell still leaked through. Despite that, I felt as if I retained some of it. After I got off, I just drop-dusted the block when no one was behind me haha. The leak must be caused by my internal hemorrhoids. I'm going to try to remove these when I have time.


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## Rayban30 (Oct 9, 2017)

Thank you CalmWaters

Please don't drop any classes and get your degree. You are clearly a strong, intelligent and capable human. Just imagine, you could be the kind of understanding doctor that eludes most people with leaky gas

I failed four subjects at uni because I literally couldn't bring myself to walk into the classroom. Now I work in a school and experience the same comments/sniffing/coughing/nose rubbing all day. Just today one of the children shouted "someone farted!" The teacher looked me in the eye and said "That's disgusting. I'll stay over here then" all while making a point of opening the door and turning on the aircon.

It's just a part of life. I make sure to 1) have a cry to release the day's tension 2) keep on top of responsibilities and do things well (or anxiety grows) 3) strictly follow the low fodmap diet (I've found low fodmap soups really help me) and 4) seek support where you can find it. My family and close friends say they don't smell anything at all but there are other avenues like this forum


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## mantaray (May 14, 2017)

" Now I work in a school"

You are one tough motherfr! That is insane, I could never work in that sort of environment, keep up the good work and hang in there.

Can you auto set the aircon so it comes on automatically at 9am and stops at 3:30pm everyday?


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## Guest (Oct 23, 2017)

He, i was thinking the same Mantaray, in school i suffered years of nightmare, and what makes it much worst is that the atmosphere is kind of sterile so any smell, specially bad ones, are highly noticeable.


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## CalmWaters (Mar 31, 2017)

I'm on my way to class now. I really hope I get through another week. It's been tough lately. Sometimes when I close my cheeks tightly, I can still feel bubbles slowly slipping through. And I feel a pressure pushing on my colon when I relax too much. I should really start exercising again but it's hard to find time when school comes around. And the stress doesn't get any better if I'm around people.


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