# My daughter is depressed - need advice



## mdonbru (Oct 15, 2003)

Hello all-I don't usually post in this area of the board, but I have a question someone here might know the answer to. My daughter has been diagnosed with moderate depression and is undergoing treatment with CBT and medication. She seems to be getting better, but I'd like some more information on specific ways I can help her at home. There is some teen-specific information on the internet, but what I really need is to get in touch with other parents for some support and ideas. Does anyone know of a bulletin board that is for parents of depressed children? I think sharing experiences with other parents would be really great. Thanks,Marty


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## Tiss (Aug 22, 2000)

Hi Marty, Sorry to hear about your daughter's depression. It is terrible to watch our kids suffer. My daughter was diagnosed with OCD when she was in 5th grade and has been on meds since. She is 18 and will not talk to me about it at all. How old is your daughter? I think a support group for parents would be great. Sometimes we have to watch our kids without doing alot--especially if they are in therapy and on the right medication--especially if they don't want to share with us (parents) and alot of times they don't. I still watch my daughter for danger signs though--serious depression, worsening OCD symptoms, etc


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## mdonbru (Oct 15, 2003)

Tiss-My daughter is 14. We noticed that she seemed to be "not herself" about 6 months ago. I tried talking to her about it but she did not want to open up to me. Finally about 3 monthsa go she came to me and said she thought she needed some help - wanted drugs for depression. So We started taking her to a therapist who, after a few sessions, decided she would benefit from some medications. I worry a lot about her being on anti-depressants, but she seems to be feeling better. I just would like to be able to have the right tools to help her with her thought patterns here at home. There is so little info out there...I do know how you feel about your daughter not sharing with you - I get frustrated because I want so badly to help. I'm scared for her - I don't want her to hurt herself.Marty


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## Tiss (Aug 22, 2000)

Do you go to therapy with your daughter? By that I mean, if you take her, you might request a few minutes with the therapist before/or after your daughter's therapy session. That is the way I have done it with both my son (who was an alcoholic and drug addict at age 14--another story) but a HORRIBLE experience and my daughter who has been in therapy from time to time for her OCD. I still go with her to her psychiatrist and he will talk to me for a few minutes (now I have to get my daughter's permission) but at age 14 I did not need that permission.


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## mdonbru (Oct 15, 2003)

Yes - I sometimes go in with her. The therapist tells me she is quite verbal and open with him when they are alone, but she clams up when I am in there with her. I don't think she trusts me very much. We are working on that aspect of our relationship. I'd like to have a session or two just with him so maybe he can give me some pointers on how to communicate with her better. I know he can't tell me exactly what she tells him, but he is getting to know her better now and can maybe clue me in on what he thinks might work with her. Marty


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## Tiss (Aug 22, 2000)

I think 14 is the worst age possible for anybody, anywhere on earth. It is hard. Self image, self consciousness, etc rule the head and emotions. You sound like a very good parent, willing to get help for your daughter and go to the sessions and learn everything possible about how to help your daughter. Remind yourself that she has a good safety net under her---you and her therapist. It is so very hard to control our own anxiety when it comes to our kids!


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## 17176 (Mar 31, 2005)

Know how you feel Marty, my youngest daughter is 16 and has been on anti-depressants since she was 15, its hard for me to know what to say to her about it, angi has a habit of bottling everything up, i think shes depressed because me and adolph got seperated when she was 10...Good luck with your daughter i know its hard, but im hoping angi gets through it, and also your daughter.. good luck


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