# There IS help



## Guest (Jan 10, 2003)

THE ANSWERAnxiety is normal - it is part of being human - it helps ready us for action and is there for our survival.It is possible to experience anxiety without panic and to be calm. In fact most people do experience anxiety like this frequently (job interviews / dating / performance situations - sports, social).They feel shakey on the inside but relatively calm on the outside, this is normal, this is part of anxiety, this is how it feels. On a popular TV quiz show, where the contestants answer questions and can double their winnings up to a million, the quizmaster has said to many contestants, words to the effect - 'you look remarkably calm'.In nearly every instance, the reply has been the same - 'on the outside yes, but inside I'm shaking like a leaf '.***However, most people with anxiety and panic disorders, phobias, OCD and depression believe that to have any anxiety is not right, they associate the first sign of it with deeper beliefs ... If ten thousand people say you are good and you believe that you are bad ... you will feel bad about yourself. Conversely if ten thousand people say you are bad and you believe that you are good ... you will feel good about yourself.THE ANSWER LIES IN WHAT WE BELIEVEA man found an eagle's egg and put it in a nest of a barnyard hen. The eaglet hatched with the brood of chicks and grew up with them. All his life the eagle did what the barnyard chicks did, thinking he was a barnyard chicken. He scratched the earth for worms and insects. He clucked and cackled and would thrash his wings and fly a few feet into the air. Years passed and the eagle grew very old.One day he saw a magnificent bird above him in the cloudless sky. It glided in graceful majesty among the powerful wind currents, with scarcely a beat of its strong golden wings. The eagle looked up in awe. "Who's that?" he asked. "That's the eagle, the king of the birds," said his neighbour. "He belongs to the sky. We belong to the earth - we're chickens." So the eagle lived and died a chicken, for that's what he thought he was.... AWARENESS ... Anthony de MelloTo change beliefs - we have to understand how and why they developed. We have to understand our experiences, the people involved and more importantly, the conclusions we drew about our role in them, for it's not the experiences themselves that do the lasting damage, it's what we make of them.We have to understand how we learnt to think and behave because of our experiences. Various anxiety / panic 'disorders' exist (personal make-up and experiences probably determine individual forms). However, a number of factors exist which are common to them all.Feelings of self-doubt, no control (and its related feelings of not being there) and self-imposed high, inflexible standards are just some of the things which need to be understood before we can loosen the grip of anxiety problems.*****Each anxiety problem is unique to the individual. Expressions of social phobia vary from person to person just as those of agoraphobia vary from panic disorder and GAD vary from OCD. However, as unique to the individual these problems are and as different to each other they are, these problems develop for similar reasons and strengthen in a similar way, a manner which reflects the way our mind and body works.Our individual personalities probably develop from a mixture of genetic make up, experiences and learning.As such, how we behave depends on the knowledge that we gain from past experience (derived from situational clues, knowledge at that time, assumptions and reasoning) and how and why we apply this to present situations.Differences in, and complex interactions between, the above factors give rise to our individuality. We are all different, and yet, in one sense we are all the same.We all have similar body structures, we all have similar mind structures, we all have the same five senses and we all receive and process information through these senses and structures in a similar manner.Therefore, it is not surprising that we all tend to deal with certain situations in roughly the same way. Given your genetic make up, your past experiences, the knowledge you had in the past and the knowledge you have now ... your mind and body are working PERFECTLY.However they are not working APPROPRIATELY.Our mind and body are so interlinked that in some ways it is difficult to distinguish between them; thoughts generate feelings and feelings generate thoughts. Anxiety leads to tension but also tension leads to anxiety.Many people with long-term anxiety and depression problems exist in a higher than average state of tension and a tense body is already making associations with anxiety, 'prepared' to spark off a worrying thought or image and start the ball rolling towards the panic, phobia, OCD, despair. The upper chest and shoulders are one area where many people with anxiety-related problems maintain tension in their body. They constantly have raised upper chest and shoulders. For two reasons - first, this is a defensive posture (I would raise my shoulders if somebody went to strike me) - second, it stems from conditioning associated with the body's attempt to relieve tension naturally- sighing (letting out a deep breath) is a natural way to relieve tension.Many people with these problems hold their breath a lot (especially before going to sleep) in order to sigh. This can lead to conditioning the body to have the chest and shoulders raised and also the development of breathing from the chest rather than the diaphragm.Try this:- throughout the day notice how high your shoulders are and drop them down (or as in Yoga - 'roll them over and back').When your shoulders are lowered - do you feel ever so slightly more relaxed?Do this a number of times throughout the day (4 or 5 times) and when you are in bed before you go to sleep.Understanding comes from insight, however insight alone will not help to overcome the problem. It isn't possible to just think our way out of it. To change behaviour we have to do the behaviour - it isn't possible to learn to ride a bike just by thinking about it!Changing behaviour alone will not help if we still feel bad about ourselves or still have unanswered questions about the problem. Any force over which we have little understanding and even less control will always hold power over us, for it is unpredictable and could harm us and as such remains frightening.To successfully master anxiety-related problems requires BOTH insight and behaviour changeWe have to:- Understand the problem (how it developed and it's effects) to such an extent that the search for reasons and answers can be given up Reduce the automatic negative thoughts, images and behaviours Develop more positive beliefs and behaviours COURAGE is not the absence of fear. It is feeling afraid but keeping those feelings sufficiently under control to be able to act appropriately.Once we begin to understand how anxiety disorders work - much of the fear of them is removed.Once we understand the problem we can begin to deal with it.Anxiety and panic, obsessions and compulsions and despair are very powerful. They can make us feel as though there is nothing we can do to change - but we can. The next page explains how it's possible to change:-IT CAN BE DONE


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## Guest (Jan 10, 2003)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------IT CAN BE DONEChange can be frightening ... the lack of control it involves can be disorientating and anxiety-provoking to almost everyone.Actually, most things we learn in life are initially frightening - such as learning to ride a bike, learning to drive a car and take, for example, learning to swim.Most children, and some adults, go from being petrified of venturing into open water, clinging desperately to the side (a perfectly logical reaction since at the beginning they have no control and could drown) to being able to jump/dive in the water, swim underwater, tread water and swim wherever they want.Learning to swim involves learning to be in control, and confidence grows as the feelings of control grow.Given the right instruction, guidance and support we can learn to overcome our fears by mastering the various stages involved - and so it is with anxiety and depression problems.Once you understand why you believe and behave as you do you will realise:-How you can change those beliefs and behavioursHow you can let go of the past and move forwardHow you can develop more accurate, positive feelings about yourselfHow you can develop feelings of being in control and confidenceOnce you accept that courage is not the absence of fear you are in a position to move forward.Guidance and support can help, but at times it can still be frightening.If you want to change (develop and grow would be better words!) don't let fear hold you back.In this world of profit-driven, success-orientated goals of false materialistic happiness the incidence of feelings of 'not being good enough' and anxiety-related problems can only increase and yet in one sense it is the people that have experienced these problems that reflect the truly good human qualities.Soul-searching and introspection can lead to an understanding of our own behaviour and that of others, acceptance of our own 'faults' and those of others and appreciation of the effect of behaviour on others. Without doubt, if the excessive anxiety could be reduced for sufferers of these problems society would benefit greatly.Remember, you're not alone. Think of all the other people who are in the same position as you, and if you do this you can be sure that someone is thinking of you. It can be difficult to smile when we have a long-term anxiety-related problem and a sorrowful expression can in itself help strengthen the effects of anxiety and despair. (We all feel better when we are laughing)Try this:- Imagine a big grin on your forehead (just imagine it - don't try and make your forehead smile). You should feel the corners of your lips raise ever so slightly. Try it a number of times (3 or 4 times) throughout the day.IT IS POSSIBLE TO MASTER ANXIETY-RELATED PROBLEMS


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## Guest (Jan 10, 2003)

SELF-HELP DETAILSThe key to dealing with anxiety and depression problems is to understand them and how they work. Like everything in life, when we understand how something works - we know how to use it, change it and dismantle it.We are all driven to understand things that influence our lives so that we can have some control over them, some control over our own survival and existence. It's why man has to conquer the oceans, the highest mountains, space and we'll search a lifetime to achieve this understanding, to gain a sense of control.Anxiety and panic, phobias, OCD and depression are so strong because we feel can't control them, but they can be controlled once we understand their true nature.


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## Guest (Jan 10, 2003)

Center for the Treatment and Study of Anxiety: http://www.med.upenn.edu/ctsa/


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## Rowe2 (Sep 26, 2002)

Great info Evie! You are one smart lady. Keep all of us with this disorder posted as much as you can. I know I am not the only one who has just learned a great deal.


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## Guest (Jan 10, 2003)

Thanx Honey (rowe2)... I do try very hard to help. But I am no smarter than anyone else here. If anything... I am more of a victim here than anyone... and even in my sad state of affairs, I have learned to win the battle against anxiety, even though it is organic in its origins within me. But I didn't do it alone... I did it with lots of help from lots of people who had faith in me and encouraged me....who sometimes stepped on my toes when I needed that....who sometimes told me things that initially upset me.... made me cry.... and even devastated me.... but ultimately all of it helped me to grow towards healing... a process that I personally believe never ends... it's ongoing... and we need to refresh our skills each and every day.Sometimes I post precautionary things to which people take personal offense...... This is unfortunate. But I DO understand why they target me... because at one time... I was the "targeter". When we're distressed and anxious or depressed... our limbic systems overreact to most everything. I am a classic example of that. My goal here is to share my experiences with the "Anxiety Beast"... and in some way let others know that IT CAN BE BEATEN !!I am no less anxious than I ever was... But what I have done...... is learned ways to live with it, combat it, manage it and control it.We're all individual and different in our diagnoses and in our treatments... the trick to finding success... is to listen to your own body.... and then trust in those who have answers.You know me Rowe2... and you know that I am sincere... as are you.Maybe between the two of us we can help a few people here... whaddaya think?Love,Evie


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## Guest (Jan 10, 2003)

The truth is... I've been very sick myself lately (including a bout with both respiratory and GI tract flu)..... so I haven't been giving as much positive attention to this forum as I should.I hope that no one will ever take personal offense at anything that I might post here, whether factual or my own personal experience or opinion. My goal is to impart knowledge and help. I've been the whole gamut when it comes to anxiety..... no one has been afflicted worse than I...... and I am here to tell everyone that we CAN triumph over its beastly effects.How we do that is individual... it is based on diagnoses.... the kind of healthcare that we receive.... the kind of therapies to which we are open.... and also to the own limitations that we set for ourselves. Sometimes it's good to set limitations and boundaries until we are more comfortable with our own outcomes.I am not a doctor or a licensed therapist... I am a patient..... one who has had success in combating probably the most serious diagnosis of anxiety along with accompanying clinical depression.,... AND........


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## Guest (Jan 10, 2003)

The truth is... I've been very sick myself lately (including a bout with both respiratory and GI tract flu)..... so I haven't been giving as much positive attention to this forum as I should.I hope that no one will ever take personal offense at anything that I might post here, whether factual or my own personal experience or opinion. My goal is to impart knowledge and help. I've been the whole gamut when it comes to anxiety..... no one has been afflicted worse than I...... and I am here to tell everyone that we CAN triumph over its beastly effects.How we do that is individual... it is based on diagnoses.... the kind of healthcare that we receive.... the kind of therapies to which we are open.... and also to the own limitations that we set for ourselves. Sometimes it's good to set limitations and boundaries until we are more comfortable with our own outcomes.I am not a doctor or a licensed therapist... I am a patient..... one who has had success in combating probably the most serious diagnosis of anxiety along with accompanying clinical depression.... AND........a personality disorder (oft times they go together). I have learned that my IBS is directly chemically related to the above. It is all affected by my limbic system... the part of the brain that controls emotions. Mine is out of whack... totally overreactive.... and the only way I've been able to control it all is to INTEGRATE my treatments.For information about integrating treatments... come to the next UNC chat about which Eric posted a thread and a link on the main IBS Board.Love to all, Evie


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## Guest (Jan 10, 2003)

How did that happen?part way through posting.... somehow a portion of my message got posted....Then... when I actually finished it... I posted it.... that was weird?


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## BQ (May 22, 2000)

A very wise person once told me:_Just do it scared._In other words..... fear doesn't have to stop you. It is a choice, as most things are.I have found that once I do it once (yeah and sometimes still I'm scared) it isn't as scary the second time, even less the third time and by the fourth time ......... um .... I'm pretty confident.







So try it. Just do it scared. BQ


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## Guest (Jan 10, 2003)

You said it even better than I could, B.Q."Doing it scared" is what gave me my teaching position, my dance performance ability and my life back. Sometimes we just gotta plunge.Thanx for that one







Evie


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