# Working, Student Loans, Greater Ambition < IBS



## timgermain (Mar 15, 2012)

I started getting symptoms as a Senior in college. Before that, I was healthy and doing really well in school... dean's list, enjoying my time, learning, networking. Senior year came and I started feeling genearlly unwell. Terribly fatigued, brain fog, gastro issues... simply felt irregular. I finished my senior year (20 credits) by crawling past the finish line, but I did finish. Ended up going the next two years without a diagnosis for what would become my normal life and a chronic illness. Something had wrecked my body and I had no idea what it was. Recently diagnosed with H Pylori : Treated it with Pylera -- noticed my SIBO got better.Working on diagnoises for SIBO : when i was on abx, my constipation and pain was less. I felt loose in my bowels.Essentially... every single day is a battle. Every single day has become this for me: "What and the hell should I eat today? What can my body handle? If I eat this, will it stay in my small bowel for the next 4 hours and cause nausea and obstructive pain?" Literally... every moment in every day revolves around my digestive system and how it is functioning. It is a constant struggle to find answers and maintain a regularity. I am still working on getting a definitive diagnosis regarding IBD, but at this point... my gastro doctor has diagnosed IBS-C after an endoscopy and much blood work which came out pretty normal. I have high bilirubin levels: Gilbert's syndromI have H Pylori bacteria in the stomachNo inflammation markersCeliac Biopsy negative (aunt has celiac -- other maternal aunt has crohns)My mom's side ALL have digestive issues. My g-pa died of esophageal / stomach cancer at 59. Same with his brother. So there is defintatly a genetic / environmental thing going on. Anyways... what I am trying to say is this:I went 21 years with great health. I was ambitious as heck, I was planning on going to law school after undergraduate work... I was planning on owning a law firm and making a good life for a prospective family. Over the past two years, when all of this pain started (and I can remember when it started to the hour) however, I have watched a HUGE amout of my energy be diverted from pursuing my academic and career ambitions to finding a diagnosis and cure for a chronic digestive disease. And a debilitating disease at that. Some say IBS is a "cakewalk" disease or whatever... but I will testify that it is as painful / disruptive / emotionally debilitating / pervasive as any chronic illness. In fact, some of the symptoms I have had because of my brain-gut dysfunction have been UNBELIEVABLE: brain fog, drunk-feeling, nauseau, toxic feeling in my gut, gastritis, dyspepsia, bloating, constipation, itching, pretty much like there is an organism living in my body that is sucking all of the life out of me while I am left as a passanger with my energy. So... here I am about to turn 25 at the end of May... and I am walking a tight-rope. I am working full-time at a law firm as a legal assistant, and have been trying to now make new life goals / plans with this seemingly relentless limitation. I thought that after 2.5 years of this nonesense that something would give. To this day, I have my good and bad days... but the disease is still very much a huge part of my life. I am not sure what and the heck caused this... but at this point I feel like its a mix of GASTEROPERESIS + SIBO + BRAIN-GUT Dysfunction.I've modified my diet, exercised, doing what I can to maintain balance. I am now at the point in the disease where I have accepted whats going on, have had a diagnosis, my doc says that its a fucntional disease as all my bloodwork and other labs are normal, it won't kill me, it is not going anywhere, its a part of my new life, so I have to now deal with it and make plans accordingly.So... I have student loans, rent, life... and all of these pursuits that once looked so enticing to a 21 year old (law school, professionalism, family, money, security, enjoyment) now seem totally fruitless in the face of how I am feeling physically, mentally, and emotionally. I am not totally lost. I still find strength in my condition, but I am just not my old self. And the thing is, is that now... the things that make my condition really bad are living stressful lives, working harsh hours, rush-hour traffic, just the normal things that I would otherwise never have been affected by... now, those stressors cause really bad IBS symptoms... and its like, "well, now what? The life I was pursuing is now proving to be a burden on my new body. What do I do, where do I go from here?"Part of me wants to quit American life forever and just retreat to a cabin... and heal. I just find that the entire prospect of the "american dream" i was pursuing (eagerly and wantingly) is now fruitless and will do nothing but cause more pain and unbalance (which us IBS people know is the root of all evil). I don't know... Im just venting I guess to others. We all know how absurd this disease is. It is so painful and mentally exhausting to constnatly worry about what foods will cause me to feel like I am dying for the next 6 hours, or whether or not my stomach will feel like a vice grip, or I will have regular bowel movements, or if I will feel drained and fatigued because my body is getting attacked by god-knows-what (leaky gut..sibo.. i just dont know!). And above all.. no cure, no answers... I dunno, its just frustrating to a driven person to be held back by myself. BUT... I am not dead, could be worse... I get that... and I am trying to find that silver lining as I move forward. Any recommendations or advice are welcome... I'd love to listen and relate to other's issues, re: young adult things. Thanks,Tim


----------



## KJL (Mar 19, 2012)

Hi, I am a new comer to this forum (my issues are in the forum in the welcome section, I put in a post today). I can relate to a lot of what you say.I don't want these issues to rule me, but that do. I panic when invited out to a meal (there is a work's do next Friday at a restaurant, think I'll go and just not eat - safer that way).I am trying the low-fodmap diet, only a day or two in, obviously things aren't better yet. But I have high hopes.I can't offer a quick fix. Only to say I have had problems for about 10 years, and there are times when things aren't too bad. But, like now, it's bad. I hope that maybe we'll all find an answer to help us, I'm waiting on an appointment with a consultant at the moment so they can rule problems out.Please don't give up on your dreams, keep badgering your doctor for help. Try different meds/foods etc. Try exercises to reduce stress etc.But please don't give up, keep hold of your dreams. I know it's hard, I really do, but don't let it beat you x


----------



## leeniepie (Jan 25, 2012)

Hiya, just wanted to say hang in there!i started suffering at university, spent most of my second year in and out of hospital seeing dr's, having scans, and being told im making it all up because all the tests were negative.that was 5years ago and it was only last year that a doctor told me they think i have ibs (i had always dismissed the idea because i dont get diarrhoea and get large amounts of upper abdominal pain, to a lesser extent intestinal pain, but now i know that this isnt uncommon in ibs)i suscessfully conpleted uni and got my degree, i have had several jobs, moved house, started and ended relationships, had family issues - all things that trigger ibs, and i have had good times and bad.i have managed by doing the following - 1) always having meds on me, at all times (every bag i own has a set of meds in, there are some in my kitchen, some in my nightstand, some in my car), this way if i start feeling ill i can deal with it as quick as possile2)keeping a food diary and avoiding triggers (i know sometimes everything feels like a trigger, but sometimes it helps)3)telling people i have stomach issues, so if im having a bad day they at least understand a biti know these things are probably common sense, but there doesnt seem to be a way to stop attacks for ibs. i'm having a bad time at the moment and i know its down to stress, because i've been keeping things that are bothering me to myself. then i dont eat as well, dont sleep as well etc and that makes things worse.have you tried seeing a dietician to help with your food choices?


----------



## rockingirl (Jan 10, 2008)

I can totally relate. Wish I couldn't! I got my symptoms senior year too. I wonder a lot how my post-college life would have differed if I didn't have this to deal with. Who knows? Maybe I'd have ended up in the same place.


----------



## DEUCE CLICK (Jun 20, 2012)

I can relate a lot. I am a very driven person and had a full academic scholarship at KU, and I was Pre-med.(Now I'm leaning towards naturopathy) Then during my senior year of high school I developed digestive issues. I also have high Biliruben levels. I also have IBS-C and SIBO. I can relate to how you feel mentally as well, although I'm a few years younger, being 21. I've spent the last 3 years wanting to go to school, wanting to get out on my own. But I'm stuck sick at home with my parents. Luckily, they support me a lot, which I am thankful for. If I were you i would suggest seeing a naturopath or acupuncturist who performs traditional chinese medicine. I have just stopped going the conventional route and i have hope that the herbal remedies and acupuncture can help. To me the symptoms all relate to each other. You start off with a genetic food intolerance to gluten or soy. This turns into SIBO/IBS. The SIBO causes severe malnutrition and leads to a weakened mucusol lining. This leads to more food intolerances and an overused/overactive immune system. This leads to an imbalanced nervous system (sympathetic dominant due to flight or fight), which leads to the mental problems. These mental problems are exacerbated by your mental psyche because you can't control the situation. I am a driven person and it drives me crazy that I can't do anything about it, no matter how hard I try. This leads to depression and hopelessness. Don't give up, man. Try the natural route and you may start to feel better. Best Wishes.


----------



## timgermain (Mar 15, 2012)

Hi Everyone,I never responed to you all... but thanks! Your responses all make a lot of sense to me. Its interesting how other people going thru digestive distress can immediately relate. All of your responses are awesome and appreciated. I think, Deuce, that going to a natro doc will be a GREAT benefit. The Pylera that I took for my h pylori was literally a god-send. I was having gastritis (l0/10 pain) every single day for like 6 months.... and it was absurd that I was just dealing with it. I knew somethign was wrong, got an endoscopy which showed the h pylori, and the Pylera did wonders on curing the gastritis. I get it infrequently now, but if I eat balanced...my stomach is pretty darn good. The small bowel and the colon are still healing tho.... whatever infection I got that caused the disbiosis is taking a long time to heal essentially. And a natro doctor, I think will really help that heal better... cuz its a long term sort of thing.Whatever... thanks for the replies... they are apprecitead, and to each of you all... I can also relate !


----------

