# I just want a normal life again.



## Can't Take it. (Sep 17, 2012)

So I'm 20 years old,attempting to live a fun life. I haven't been diagnosed with anything but I have the symptoms. I know part of mine is a mental thing which I've tried so hard to get rid of but seems like I'm getting absolutely no where. I really just want my life back. My problem happens in the morning. If I sleep in it usually doesn't happen. If I stay home all day it doesn't really happen then either. It's when I have to go somewhere. So the beach, theme parks, traveling, birthday parties, etc... anything along those lines are out of the question for me. That's where I feel it has to do with my anxiety. I feel somehow my mind mixes the excitement with anxiety and then I end up feeling sick and having to run to the bathroom. I couldn't keep a job and I attempted going to college but I dropped all of my classes after the first day because I had to run to the bathroom in the middle of the class. I feel so alone in this because I feel like no one understands me. People tell me it's all in your head which I think part of it is but even if I don't think about it and don't get nervous about going somewhere it happens. I've spent many days crying and wondering what's wrong with me. I feel so helpless. I've tried EVERYTHING. Probiotics, peppermint oil pills(Dr. Oz), exercising, fiber, eating different. Nothing works. This problem has made me so afraid to eat anything. When I eat something I think, is this going to make my problem worse? I don't know what to do anymore. I have to say no to my friends all the time about going places when they're in the morning. I've had this problem for 5 years now, it started with my first "serious" relationship, long story.. but it really affected me and made me very anxious about things. I feel the anxiety caused my IBS. Now I'm worrying all the time about it, like if i have to do something in the morning I worry the day before. All the what if's. I'm so over it. I want to be able to just get up in the morning and go out and have fun all day without worrying, what if I have to go to the bathroom. And it's not like I just have to go to the bathroom once, I'll go 3-5 times on those days that I have to get up early. And I feel terrible after using the bathroom, plus I never feel like I'm finished. Or I'll go great and then 30 minutes later I'll have to go again and it's not pretty and there better be a bathroom near. This is incredibly embarrassing for me to talk about but I don't know where else to turn. I want to know there's someone else dealing with this so I know I don't have to be alone in this(although I would never wish this upon anyone). Luckily, I have an amazing husband who is there for me through this, but I feel like I'm holding him back from having any fun. I feel horrible because he likes going to theme parks and things like that so it's just super hard for me to hold him back. Without him I'd be broke, alone, and suffering. If you have any advice at all, something that's worked for you and you have a similar story, please let me know.


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## Jonathon1 (Sep 19, 2012)

I know what you are going through i have had ibs for about 6 years now it started when i was 20 years old and its the same for me i can be home all day and be fine not have a problem but then when someone asks to go out and do something it starts acting up really bad were i will have diarrhea and i will have to stay next to the bathroom 3 to 5 times or even more and my family understands alittle bit but i feel so alone in this world and they say its in my head and i dont have anything wrong with me but i do feel like part of it is in my head i have tried everything to help with my IBSD changed my food took calcium probiotics and even tried imodium but it only stops it for a day or so then im in so much pain from being so backed up but i just wanted to reply and say you are not alone i have the something you are talking about and its hard when ppl dont understand the trouble i have been with my girlfriend for almost 9 years and IBSD is even affecting our relationship most ppl think IBSD isnt that big of a problem but to the ppl it affects its horrible and i myself have though about killing myself almost all the time and my IBSD is affecting me to even be able to hold a job but this is the first time i have talked with someone over the internet about my IBSD i just read your story and its sounds like mine so i just wanted to right and say you arent alone and i will pray for you


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## Red123321 (Sep 20, 2012)

I too just found this website today becuase I have the same thing and can no longer take this. I have the exact same symptoms as both of you.I am 21, and I look back on the years before I had this (started at 17 and got much worse)and it just boggles my mind to think about going a day without thinking about when I will need to run to the bathroom next, where the bathrooms are, and who notices how frequently I go.If I have a class at 11, I wake up atleast at 8:30 so I can drink coffee, have diarrhea, take imodium and get on with my day. That was my routine forever, and it worked up until now. Now, no matter how much I take, I end up going 3-4 times a day. I NEVER feel like I don't have to go, and I am CONSTANTLY 24/7 thinking about it. I haven't passed a solid bowel movement on my own, naturally, in over 3 years.I too avoid situations where I don't have immediate access to a bathroom. If I'm in a long line...I'll be thinking "I can't leave...I'll lose my spot..what will people think...I hope I won't have to go" and this sort of "psych's" me out, and makes me have to go. This has made me miss many memories I could've made with my friends and other opportunities. I have wanted to ask many girls out but just didn't because of my stomach.It controls everything. I feel so alone and helpless. My stomach getting worse has messed with my mind, and now my mind turned it around on my stomach. I am almost 100% handicapped, and there is no end in sight. I have also thought about giving up.I don't know either of you, but I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy, and I will pray hard for both of you. Stay strong, you are not alone.


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## Szaboo (Sep 25, 2012)

Hello everybody!First, please sry for my english, i am hungarian. I havent got as serious ibs as u... But my had started long time ago. Somewhen in year 2001-2002. Its so long time, and i learned a lot. There was a few weeks, when i felt its gone, but it started again n again. Everything was negative in the hospitals, but my bowel is horrible. My question is your diet. What do you eat? If i reduce sugar, milk, alcohol, and eggs in my diet, things getting beter. Of corse its not just about what you eat. But u have to keep trying, and believe. Its my best medicine.


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## Colin.H (Oct 8, 2012)

Hello,Can't Take it:I came across your story while browsing, felt that your experience is similar to mine (in spite of the age difference), and so posted my story on this board. Please read it. Give low FODMAPs a really serious try, start this minute and there is a chance you will begin to feel better tomorrow.


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## smeelicious (Oct 26, 2012)

Hello,
just joined this group and could have posted something very similar to your above post, i dread leaving the house to go anywhere and the thought of traveling anywhere is my worse nightmare. I just assumed that it was just me and it was something i had to live with x


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## lorainestrat (Oct 17, 2012)

I hear ya. I'm 20 and that's right when it happened. I know stress doesn't help. I'm trying xanax and antidepressed. So far haven't help. Xanax has but I have to be careful using it with my job. I know the feeling about school and jobs and holding them down. Its almost impossible and its so embarrassing. I've learned to plan my days around bathroom time. I don't party or go out. Caffeine alcholol diary and chocolate are big nonos but i still do it anyway then plan my day around it. It does help to know we are not alone but its god impossible to keep a relationship sexy when ur either shitting up a storm or grunting out bunny poops (and that's on a healthy day) lol I cry a lot and I wonder if I'm better off dead but the best thing is humor. I watch a lot of tv. Takes it off my mind. u can't have a normal life again and never will that's the honest truth but there HAS to be ways around this terrible sydrome. If u need someone to talk to email me [email protected]


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## elena00pa (Nov 6, 2012)

Hi!
I just discovered the existence of this forum and I felt really relieved. I suffer constantly from this problem in a way that affects negatively every part of my life, but nobody can understands what I am going through. Especially the mornings are very very tough for me. I always try to avoid morning classes and labs and any morning outdoor activity. I have to wake up at least 2 hours before I leave in order to have enough free time to spend in the bathroom. And even if go to my house's bathroom 2-3 times, when I leave the house I will be in need to use the bathroom again more than once.My parents always accuse me that I am too lazy and slow to get prepared and I am a useless person.. they just cannot get it how it feels like. I never arrange something in the morning and generally the first thing that I always search for when I enter a new area is the location of the bathroom. Travelling is my nightmare. Once I made the mistake to go a university trip by bus to another city (8 hours distance) and that was one of my worst days in my life. I have turned down boys that I liked because I can't deal with it in front of them. I have tickets for movie, but I can't use them... I try to avoid any type of social gathering and professional/university staff that I cannot avoid are nightmares.
I have tried some methods (medicine from doctor and diet), but until now nothing really helps it. The thought that I might need to use the bathroom it triggers it! Its like a vicious circle, this problem makes me uncomfortable and anxious in front of other people (many of them think I am weird...) and the anxiety triggers the problem and makes it worse. Only when I am at home things are better.
I hope somehow one day this will be fixed and it will be like six years ago, when I had no such problem and I could enjoy life without overthinking everything.
Good luck to everybody of us


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## FullyCured (Nov 15, 2012)

Hi there. Sounds like your condition is very much linked to anxiety (as was mine) - Paxil worked for me - completely cured me. But I still have general anxiety in which meditation has done wonders. See my post for the full story - http://www.ibsgroup.org/forums/topic/158350-how-i-was-cured-from-ibs-anxiety-driven-paxil/

There is hope!


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## trishj46 (Dec 29, 2012)

This is my story! I have IBS-A. Had it since I was 18yrs old. A year ago I woke up in the hospital after four hours of emergency surgery for staff infection in my spinal cord. I was paralyzed from the waist down. With vigorous Pysical therapy they got me out of w/c and walking with walker. I developed blood clots in both lungs & legs. I was in rehab after that, altogether four months in the hospital.

With all this I had been trying to handle IBS. Right now I am worse then ever and feel hopeless. It has been a long struggle this year that will continue to go on. With all I have been through the IBS has been the worse. I take colace for constipation, and the later imodium for diarrhea. Its a vicious cycle as you well know. I have excruciating back pain, my bladder was damaged from surgery and I have to self-cath! I am numb in both feet. I live alone and my family come & go to help me out. I see a psychologist every Tuesday. I feel right now that she does not understand IBS. She had me stop medication and just go on diet. When I do that everything goes right through me! I feel better doing my meds. She feels I am just trying to be "controling". I have cramps, gas, nausea & pain if I don't take meds. I don't feel anyone understands, especially Doctors! In the hospital they stopped my ibs meds and I had constant accidents with diarrhea. I feel embarrased, humiliated, shame, but its the first time I feel guilt after being told I am just trying to be controlling!!! I have been in this house almost for a year except to go to doctors, tests, surgerys. I want to get out and LIVE!!!!!!!!

With everything combined I just feel like its all too much to handle and wish I could just die! This is a great site! I am reaching out to you, not for sympathy, but understanding! Sorry the post is so long.

Thank you for listening! Blessings to all of you! Send me some hope!!!!!

lucky777


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## vjzimm (Jan 3, 2013)

Thank you for sharing your story. I am 21 years old and dealing with a lot of similar issues that you have described. Do you see a gastroenterologist? I have switched doctors 3 times since beginning to see one and I have finally found one who was willing to give me the diagnosis of IBS-D. I just started taking Hyoscyamine Sulfate which has really helped my urgency and loose stool. It sounds like you could really benefit from this as well. I would also recommend reading about the mind-gut connection. My most recent doctor suggested it and I have found that a lot of things discussed apply to me. (Basically it is saying that our stomachs juices react to the way our brain is working and that getting our brain and emotional state in check really helps all symptoms.) I hope you find some peace in this reply and that you can eventually live a normal life.


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## fairy78 (Aug 9, 2012)

My problems started in June and it feels like a life time - not sure I can go years with this, before June I only had IBS flare ups when I ate something I knew would affect me so I could go months ! Now I have daily problems ! Lasted until October but it was daily but the right hand pain was just a dull ache and I only seemed to have major problems between 4pm and 6.30pm not sure why, went on holiday, the day I came home all my problems disappeared but I got other symptoms like severe headaches, dizzyness, fuzzy legs, popping and blocked ears etc, these symptoms disappeared and I got a few small symptoms - then overnight they disappeared and my IBS has come back and I have no idea why - it can keep me awake all night, I have bladder problems as well, my right hand pain is now not a dull ache it's a sharp pain that is there all the time - last night I was awake all night with cramps and wind, and today I've spent the day being depressed, I can't enjoy anything and it's putting pressure on my relationship ! I don't have one day now without problems ! Nothing seems to help


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## skip1000 (Jun 5, 2010)

Hi,

After battling w/ IBS for a few decades, I've finally solved my problem and have been totally IBS-D free for over a year now (w/o any meds, so there is no side effects). It's also low cost bc it doesn't require prescriptions. I don't even think about IBS issues these days... it's that good. It's different from other remedies I've read on this site so the concept might be new to many people.

Please have a read and maybe even give it a try:

http://www.ibsgroup.org/forums/topic/159556-after-decades-of-ibs-d-i-am-finally-ibs-d-free/

It might require a change of thinking and a lifestyle change to achieve positive results. Reason for the change is that so many things we are used to in our daily living are so commonplace since the day we were born, that we don't even question it.

Good luck.


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