# 21 and too Ill to Work



## Belle142 (Mar 15, 2014)

Hi, I came across this group today for the first time, and am so glad to find it!

All of my family has IBS, and I think that I must have had it since being in sixth form (5 years ago), but just mildly. I just kept plodding along through University, I was unwell every morning, and around concert and deadline weeks, and tried anxiety techniques in an attempt to get some kind of control. I was hoping that after finishing University in June I would not be as stressed any more, and therefore I would not be having IBS-D every morning.

I went straight into full time employment at the workplace I had previously worked at over holiday periods. I loved the job, even though I had to work closely with a very difficult woman. Within my first full week I was struggling with tiredness and feeling queasy, but I put that down to the long works hours and travel time. I gradually got worse every week, and began missing days of work due to severe IBS-D and feeling so queasy that I just could not make it out of the house. Some days I managed to get part way on the train, and I just had to get off and try to get home because I could feel it getting worse. Every day I was due in to work the pressure of having to get there no matter what just made me more anxious and therefore more poorly. I finished my contract for the season and have not been able to look for any further employment since due to IBS-D taking up my whole day.

Since July, I have had lots of blood tests, a sigmoidoscopy and ultrasounds to see what was wrong, and tried a number of medications for different things. For IBS (which was the doctor's firsts suspicion) I tried Mebeverine which was great for the first two weeks, and then the effect wore off, Fybogel Mebeverine for a few months, which was again the same, and I am currently three weeks into taking Colpermin, which sadly only helped for the first two weeks. I have also experimented with my diet, as I found some foods were worse than others, but then sometimes, a typically 'safe' meal would set me off. Firstly I tried being wheat and dairy free which helped a little, and then to cover all bases while I waited for an appointment with the gastroenterologist I tried having an allergy test at my local health food shop in December. Usually I would only stick with medical advice from my Dr, but I was (am) getting so fed up, that I wanted to try anything. The man told me that I had dysbiosis, and gave me a very helpful guide on what to and not eat, and to take pro biotics in tablet form. For the first four days I felt the best I had done in years, and then I got a lot worse. I was not able to keep any food in, and felt so queasy that I virtually stopped eating. I just had one piece of soda bread a day.

In January I had my first appointment with the gastroenterologist who said that I was anorexia, not nervosa, but a fear of food making me ill.

Over the last nine months my main symptoms of IBS-D and C, wind and bloating have stayed, but a lot of others have come and gone. Like being colder than usual, nose pain, back ache, and I am sure there were others.

Currently, I had my first appointment with a counsellor earlier this week, am back at the hospital next week for another test, and have my first appointment with a dietician in a few weeks. So I am seeing all the right people now, but when I am having a bad day like I am today the depression gets the better of me, and I just sit and mope. I am following a strict diet now, thanks to a helpful leaflet from my Doctor, and reading up on the Internet. I find that I can only eat some form of meat with potato and carrot now. I am a very fussy eater which makes it hard work, but I am trying to try everything I would not have previously, just to get some variation back.


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## Belle142 (Mar 15, 2014)

A few more things I forgot to add -

Rib ache.

Can't wear anything that touches my tummy.

I rarely leave the house now, sometimes due to me running in and out of the loo, but mostly because I am so scared of having an accident out. I have become obsessed with 'safe places', I won't go far from the car or the house, and I will only get in the car on the deal that as soon as I feel it coming on, we go straight home. I have had OCD from around the age of 7, and will avoid public toilets whenever I can. It has basically ruined my life. I won't have friends to come and visit me because I worry that I will have to run to the loo, and don't want to 'gross people out'. I also have not eaten out since this started, as I never know how I will react. Sometimes I will run as soon as I've had the last mouthful. I can't get on public transport any more either, as I panic. Not even the 5 minute train trip into town. So I haven't been able to go and see my family for months, and I hate it. It makes me feel guilty and fed up.


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## funnigurl13 (Jul 2, 2015)

Hi Belle,

Old post, but curious how you are getting on.

I'm dealing with several of your issues right now. Huge stresses in my life that have accumulated and made me feel uncomfortable, dread eating and using the bathroom, even if the BMs are "normal." Very hard to keep it together at work, and also having OCD and anxiety that makes being in public or driving in the car nearly impossible. I've also been out of touch with family and social outings. Diet is limited and I'm scared to essentially "re-feed" myself...don't know where to start!

Hope things are going better.


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## SickofBeingSick1 (Nov 13, 2015)

Oh my God, I'm so glad I found this forum. I've been nodding my head vigorously as I read your story! It was like reading my own life. I basically feel the exact same way, except my condition causes me to feel queasy and sick to my stomach every morning, usually lasting until early afternoon. Even as I write this now I've skipped all my classes today because the pain was just too much to manage this morning. I'm currently in University and I have a part time job and I feel like I skip out on both too frequently. I also tend to get a lot of anxiety, and because of this condition it has gotten 10x worse! Especially when I'm required to act "normal" or professional around people, particularly people I don't know!

My doctor's suspicion is that I have IBS and no other doctor seems to think otherwise, but my most prevalent symptom is feeling like I'm going to vomit. And because of this plus bloating and constipation, I've developed a fear of eating and have also lost weight! And because of the nausea naturally I get super stressed out whenever I leave my house or go on the bus. I've had to bring plastic bags with me every time. There was even a time I had to run off the bus at a random stop and throw up in a public trash can somewhere downtown... fun times.

I'm just feeling so burned out at this point. I think this is like my third year now of dealing with this and instead of "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" I'm feeling like "what doesn't kill you wears you down over time".

Just glad there are other people out there who actually understand what I'm going through. No one in my life including my family understand just how much this condition impacts you physically and emotionally!


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## funnigurl13 (Jul 2, 2015)

SickofBeingSick1 said:


> Oh my God, I'm so glad I found this forum. I've been nodding my head vigorously as I read your story! It was like reading my own life. I basically feel the exact same way, except my condition causes me to feel queasy and sick to my stomach every morning, usually lasting until early afternoon. Even as I write this now I've skipped all my classes today because the pain was just too much to manage this morning. I'm currently in University and I have a part time job and I feel like I skip out on both too frequently. I also tend to get a lot of anxiety, and because of this condition it has gotten 10x worse! Especially when I'm required to act "normal" or professional around people, particularly people I don't know!
> 
> My doctor's suspicion is that I have IBS and no other doctor seems to think otherwise, but my most prevalent symptom is feeling like I'm going to vomit. And because of this plus bloating and constipation, I've developed a fear of eating and have also lost weight! And because of the nausea naturally I get super stressed out whenever I leave my house or go on the bus. I've had to bring plastic bags with me every time. There was even a time I had to run off the bus at a random stop and throw up in a public trash can somewhere downtown... fun times.
> 
> ...


Totally understand what you're going through -- and how it feels like no one else does most of the time! Welcome to the community, and please continue to share things that do/don't work for you. The fears we develop because of IBS continue to prolong our pain. Hoping we can all work to feel better one positive step at a time.


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## dlind70 (Aug 7, 2015)

Do you skip breakfast? Nausea may be from not feeding the stomach at stomach time. That builds your hormones and sets the acid level in you throughout the day. Saliva too, becomes toxic if you fail to set your acid at or before stomach time, 7:00-9:00 am.


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## Belle142 (Mar 15, 2014)

I am so sorry for taking so many years(!) to reply! How are you all now?

I am in a totally different position now than when I made this thread. I have held down a full time job for just over 4 years, 3.5 of those years doing shift work which I really thought could make my tummy worse but I thrive on it. The shifts I find hardest are when I start between 0700 and 0900. It's almost like either my head or my tummy has not woken up yet when I start in the early hours.

In the end with me, I worked out that my main triggers were/are lactose and egg. I kept a food diary for over a year, and when I finally got to sit down with a dietician she look at my list of foods and reactions and agreed that I seemed to be lactose intolerant, and told me that they do not do the tests anymore, but knowing that it is clearly is a problem is enough to just cut it out. She also suggested a few changes, like adding in probiotics, and gave me an IBS help sheet. After a couple of visits my weight remained the same but my story was more positive, so I had to be taken off her list. Since seeing the dietician I tried cutting egg out for a couple of weeks, introduced it again and decided that egg was causing the majority of my feeling sick. I do believe that lactose and egg were my primary problem, and that my anxiety developed because it took so long to figure it out.

The next step for me was to try and do a small walk around my estate every day to get more confident at being out of the house and away from the toilet, which slowly extended to short days out nearby on the train. Once I felt more confident I went back to doing some voluntary work once or twice a week and then decided that I would like to get a part time job as an admin. Mainly thinking that it would be a nice job to get me started, it would mainly involve me being sat down and there would probably be a toilet nearby. After a couple of weeks my long term boyfriend and I split up and I'm surprised to say that my life changed for the better. I did not realise that there had clearly been a problem there for years which was quietly causing me to not be me and be controlled. I started being able to gain weight again. I honestly thought that my 'natural weight' was just in the underweight category, but that is maybe not the case. I am a healthy weight now. I do have a very strict diet, but it's because of that that I am able to leave the house and work a brilliant job which I love. It does still affect my social life, and I do still get anxious about eating food prepared by others, and sometimes I make the odd mistake or someone else does and I am unwell. But, I am here. I know it passes.

I really hope you are all doing well, and if you are not, keep trying. Keep pushing for appointments, and doing trials yourselves. Counselling and changing my diet has been life changing.


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