# Anxiety, IBS and Depression - Am I a Hypochondriac?



## 21286

Okay,I am trying very hard not to fall into a deep depression episode (like the one I had last week/weekend).I am trying to be positive, calm and trying my damndest not to think about the pains that keep stabbing me in the back and in my side. I'm trying to brush them off thinking that they are from having anxiety induced IBS and from being overweight.I'm trying so hard right now not to fall off my two-day UP cycle. I am taking my doxepine before bed, eating ok and sleeping at least 9 hours each night.I am trying to reassure myself that the reason I have pain is because I suffer from IBS and from being overweight but the little devil inside my head tells me I have something sinnister. URGH, trying to fight him off and the more I fight w/ him the more my anxiety levels increase and I can begin to feel even more pain. This is a never-ending cycle. It's ridiculous. For maybe a day or two I will have "ok" days and then boom the devil is back to make my life a living hell.I am not a hypochondriac...I don't run to the doctor over every little ache and pain. However, I do have Generalized Anxiety Disorder because I get anxiety about health concerns. I do not run up insurance premiums to see the doctor over and over and over again. Then again, I think I am on the edge of becomming a hypochondriac.Can somebody please tell me if I am or if you experience the same type of anxiety?Symptomsa.)If I get an ache (especially under the right or left rib cage (Upper GI area) I cannot quit obsessing about it. I will look for hours on the internet to see what it is. I went to the doctor a few times and had some test ran but they came up negative.b.)Eventhough I've had tests ran I still don't think it's nothing so my anxiety and fears make me have IBS. IBS is horrible...gas, cramps, diahrrea, fatigue, weakness, back pain, acid refulx, etc.c.)Then I have depression because I'm convinced I'm dying.d.)I then will have this depression for at least two to three days. During this depression I can barely move and I have all kinds of weird pains.e.)Then something will turn around and I will have a couple of "ok" days and then the cycle starts all over again.I am at my witts end. Could I have anxiety, IBS and depression. Does gas really get trapped below your rib cage? I sometimes wonder if I have mood swings....that's what they feel like anyway. It's so hard to deal w/ this.I am seeing a therapist on June 7th. I am looking for some relief mentally and physically.Can being overweight and sitting at a PC all day working cause aches and pains in the back and sides?HELP!


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## mellon

Chris, I think that the therapist appointment is the right idea.If you do indeed have an anxiety disorder, it can cause havoc on your body and can cause alot (if not all) of the physical symptoms you describe.It also sounds like your depression stems from exhaustion, frustration, and fear. Again, I think a visit to a therapist would be a great idea. Hopefully you have found a good one, and one that understands anxiety disorders (and how they can cause/contribute to the physical symptoms you're experiencing).Not really my business, but do you take any medications? Your therapist probably won't be able to prescribe you anything, but you could get their opinion and go to the doctor.If you're feeling greatly depressed, then I think that is what you should treat first. You may need an anti-depressant (which will also help your anxiety) to get yourself out of the place you currently are, and so that you can get life back on track.Good luck.


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## Guest

OK - for first off - you are not alone, nor are you nuts and you are trying to be proactive plus you've had all the tests - so what you are dealing with is IBS which, believe me, is made about 10 times worse by worrying - how do I know this - because, perhaps along-side you, I am the NO 1 hypochondriac. I do not suffer from depression but I have done and was on some god-awful medication for that about 20 years ago which led to obsessive fears of death and compulsive behaviours - ritual hand-washing etc etc studying my tongue, lying in the bath, convinced that my legs were shrinking - all of which cost me my career (which in retrospect did me a favour as I now have a law degree and a lovely job elsewhere)..I think, even though I'm still a terrible hypo - every time I do a poo I still neurotically search for blood etc - what keeps me sane, is keeping busy, going to work, running around after the kids (do you have family, difficult to obsess about death when you are running around after them!!! and I'm not being trite honest), walking my dog.I am not belitting your symptoms - I had a miserable w/e with cystitis (oh my god, could that be bladder cancer - and what, the bloody hell is that!!!).I think for guys like us the internet is best avoided, particularly in times of real, creeping fear.Good luck in your quest - you are not a nutter and you are NOT alone.All the bestSue, Manchester


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## bonniei

You are certainly not alone. It seems to be common among female IBS'ers. "Female patients with IBS are categorized into the general DSM-IV category of depressive disorder, their current psychiatric severity is high compared with that of women with chronic cholelithiasis, and patients with IBS are characterized by the psychiatric syndromes of general anxiety and hypochondriasis"http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.f...629&query_hl=14I think IBS is so trivialized because they can't find anything wrong with us that our minds and bodies cry out that there is something wrong with us. I think hypochondria is just a symptom of crying out that we need to be taken seriously. Atleast that was in my case. Chris you are afraid of dying and yet you want to commit suicide. That seems to be contradictory. Why not take the attitude that if I am going to die of a serious illness I will just let nature take its course and that I am not going to help by commiting suicide.Also if you hyperventilate during anxiety attacks, breathe into a paper bag. "The theory is that rebreathing into a paper bag will allow the person to replace the carbon dioxide "blown off" while hyperventilating."Wishing you luck with your appointment.


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## 21286

It certainly does seem like a real drag. It also seem contradicory of me to want to commit suicide (that's what I can't figure out). It's just so stupid of me to think this way.I am currently on DOXEPINE for anxiety/depression (50 mg.) a night. I think it mainly helps with bad periods.Thank you guys so much for letting me voice my real aunthentic self.Chris


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## bonniei

I don't think it is stupid. Don't label yourself. But just change your tinking. Next time you feeel like commitig suicide say to yourself, " I feel like commiting suicide because I think I have a serious illness which I am dying of and it scares me that I will die. Do I really want to die?. I think not." Just change your thinking a step at a time. Maybe you need to really come to terms with the fear that you may be dying and that if nature is going to do the job for you by killing you why should you help it.


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## 17309

Dear Chris,You should definitely stop looking up health information on the internet. I am somewhat of a hypochondriac and have called my sister (a nurse) or my dad (a hospital lab chemist) many times crying, because I had read about my symptoms on the internet and was certain I had some horrible disease. I have also had the experience of going to the doctor becuase I thought I was sick, but crying in the office and then feeling so much better, even though I did not get any diagnosis/medication. So my advice to you is, if you are feeling frustrated and scared (as IBSers often do), instead of looking for reassurance on the net, allow yourself to go in your room and cry. That will let out some of the stress. Once you get into therapy, you will find different ways to relieve the stress, but for now, that works. Or call someone. One book that really helped me (Worry, by Edward Hallowell), said that worry is magnified many times when you worry alone. This is SO true. If you let yourself sit on the couch worrying that you have a serious condition, it will build on itself until you are so scared that you can't leave the couch. But if you call or email someone about it and discuss it, you will feel better immediately.Good luck with therapy! You should also try a different antidpressant or a different dosage if it's not working for you.Vena


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## miranda

hi you're definately not alone, i am exactly like you. be specific about the type of therapy you are going for, I am going to a specialist for cognitive behavioral therapy. the therapist is very well versed in all the symptoms and thought patterns that you have discussed.i too am obsessed with my health, my bowel movements, i have social anxiety etc... you should learn coping strategies to help you now and into the future.anxiety is very very closely related to physical symptoms. some ppl feel like vomiting, some ppl have the urge to pee alot, and myself well... my bowels tend to over evacuate.good luck with your therapy!


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## 21286

Thanks so much! I don't feel so alone anymore. I am glad to be able to talk through this.Thanks so much!!!


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## 15925

I cannot believe how much reading this letter is like hearing the thoughts going on in my own head. I went through a major depression in college and have since had short episodes when I was feeling blue. I had a baby three years ago and had a very dramatic birth. She was delivered by c-section and I was given too much spinal anestesia. My lungs were paralyzed and I almost died on the table. I have since then experienced several episodes of what my physician believes to be IBS. My mother is a sufferer of both depression and IBS, so I feel it is a likely explanation. I got the flu last year and had an asthma attack that made it necessary to spend a week in the hospital. I have since had the same thoughts that you have. The periods of IBS come, and I feel as though I too, am a hypochondriac. I feel much the same way you do about visiting the doctor's office. I do not go unless I am very ill. I also lay in bed at night and feel each and every ache as though it will be my last. This leads me to believe that my major problem may really be depression causing the IBS to be worse. I do not fear dying myself, but I have two little girls and I cannot bear the thought of them growing up alone. Each time I get ill, I think this thought, and of course the vicious cycle begins again. I was soooo glad to read your e-mail that I have been writing through a barage of tears. I too am overweight and am constantly fighting this battle as well. I am 36 years old and would rather concentrate on something else. I have a very happy homelife and supportive and loving spouse. I want to feel better too. Stacey Syracuse NY


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## 14780

Ditto that Stacey,I was doing a google search and came across this post. It was so much like my own thoughts I joined. I feel so happy I think I could cry -I've felt so alone with this battle. I've been fighting IBS for a while and the anxiety got worse when I graduated undergrad. I was recently given some medicine to help control my anxiety, except it worked the wrong way. It took me low, so low that I gave my 9mm to my parents and quit the medicine right away. It's left me so shaken though, that I'm seeking counseling in hopes to end the need for any medication.Others have mentioned staying active and I agree. (Sometimes I've been so bad that my poor dog probably wandered if we were ever going to stop the walk.) Something that worked wanders for me for a couple years was Tai Chi. The place had to close it's door's and it became hard to advance without instruction. But the breathing and concentration technics are far superior to the popular yogo. I've been looking around for some other (calming) activities but have been unsuccessful as of yet.Dee


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## 13728

Are you a hypochondriac... I don't think so.. I read your post and felt a familiar pang in my gut. We could be twins! For the last five years I have had many episodes of phantom illnesses. I'll describe below... but yes - I personally believe that the body can manifest all anxiety, depression and suppressed feelings and gear it outward in REAL physical symptoms. I suppress my feelings. I had a HORRIBLE childhood and never really dealt with it. I have tons of INSECURITIES and constantly deal with depression, Generalized anxiety and I have a mild case of OCD. After years of suppressing feelings and worrying about EVERYTHING - It finally came to a head. Now I fear myself or someone I love dying EVERY DAY. I make the absolute worst of every situation. I can have a slight muscle ache and I turn it into Multiple Sclerosis... if I have fatigue, I turn it into HIV (although that is completely unrealistic), a headache is a definite brain turmo and if my knee hurts, I must have cancer and I must be dying - every day. I've never been suicidal, because of my faith, but if it weren't for my spiritual beliefs, I'd be long gone. It has ruined relationships and really slowed down my career development. I have a hard time focusing and cry for no reason. I'm depressed to a disabling point... but somehow I get on with my life. I'm sad that I've wasted all of this time worrying and not living and worried that I may spend the rest of my life worrying instead of living. I've isolated myself from most of the people I love. I finally went to a therapist and OH BOY did alot come out... I talked about things that I haven't thought about in 20 or more years. I talked about things I've never mentioned to anyone in my life. Although I walked out of the doctor's office still having stomach/poop issues... I can say that I feel better and I was able to tie my ailments to something. I will keep going no matter what the cost, as I think ultimately, this anxiety and fear will cost me my life. Someday I may *really* be sick and then what? Well, it happens to millions of people every day and somehow they deal with it. I hope your therapist session went well and I hope somehow you get the help you need. I hope we all get the help we need. If it makes you feel any better I have listed all of the REAL SYMPTOMS that have come from *phantom* illnesses. Note that I've gone through thorough testing for all of this... and everything comes back normal! Most of these were isolated and went on for weeks and weeks, sometimes months.*twitching (legs, arms, hands, eyes, face) to the point I'd call off of work.*shaking*stomach aches*Acid Reflux*Kidney Pain*upper and lower back pain*chest pains*HEADACHES to that point that I had MRIs and scans done.*Eye floaters and Light bursts*Earaches*Sore throat*fatigue*Hip Pain*Leg pain*Knee pain*butt pain*wrist/arm pain (of course I associated w/ heart attack)*swollen feet and calves (weren't really swollen but looked and felt swollen)*Tingling on top of head/ face tingling/arm tingling*Flank pain/pain below my ribs*stomach cramps*diarrhea/constipation/nausea*sleeplessness/anxiety attacks*Breast pain*groin pain*dizzinessIt comes and goes and now some of these I know are associated with stress and I won't worry, but when something new comes up (and it ALWAYS does - Hellooo, Poopie issues) I stress to the extremes).That's my story... Roo


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## 13728

AND, the internet can be *evil*. We need to avoid symptom surfing at ALL costs. If you really look, every symptom ends up being one of a horrible disease on the internet... Have you noticed that??!And, of course, doctors always shrug most of our ailments off to the simplest things. I trust my doctor and I'm weary of the internet. It has only made my life a living hell. Search on Diarrhea (well, don't really) and what comes up? Most of it is just frigging scary... and have any one of us been diagnosed with anything really life threatening? I haven't seen any postings about terminal illnesses... I wish I could lock the darn internet down until I get back to normal... but my OCD kicks in and my compulsion to search and worry and search and worry (and then guess what? I get a new symptom). Hmmm... A vicious cycle it is. Health Anxiety is horrible. It does need more attention from physicians and the medical industry....


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## 18583

Hello all,I feel so much better having read all of your stories. I recently became obsessed with some skin moles and spent hours on the internet checking to see if they were normal. Of course in my head they were not. I went to the doctor who assured me that they were normal, but I was not reassured, after all medical misdiagnosis is common, right?So I went back on to the internet and of course found other symptoms for other illnesses which of course I then had. I have recently been to the doctor 4 times, and he discussed with me that I should consider cognitive behavioral therapy and some relaxation classes. I still struggle with believing him and continue to engage in OCD behaviors of checking my body for strange things, and now I feel I have pain everywhere. I really hope the therapy works and that I can avoid the feeling of needing to go to the doctor all the time.


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## 13853

You never know about moles and such. I had an old wart that had started spreading so I had it burned off the same day as my gall bladder scan. It came back negative but as the doc said, it's best to get rid of any abnormal things. I compared it on the internet and wasn't sure what to make of it but that isn't my area of expertise.


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## 18535

I agree with Vena. Do not look up your symptoms on the internet. The internet is every IBS'ers worse enemy. Especially for those of us who are total hypos! I am just emerging from the worst IBS episode of my life, which I brought upon myself when I looked up some of my own symptoms. Depression and anxiety, I have learned, thrive off fear and desperation. It's up to the individual to recognize when there is a problem and to treat it appropriately. I find that mediation, diet, & exercise work best for me.


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## 21286

Well I am coming back up from a very down week. I spent the week (first week on job) in Portland on a business trip where I passed out and threw up along w/ horrible cramps. Then for the past two days I've been thinking that I have lung cancer. I just love this cycling thing.


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## 13728

Chris, sorry about your down week with the new job. I am going to go out on a limb here and suggest that maybe the new job has heightened your anxiety...Usually, when I think I have something (like lung cancer)... I go to my (eye rolling) doctors who then will test me for what I think I have. If you think you have lung cancer, let them know. (I highly doubt you do). But personally, the only way that I ever feel better is when I have a doctor rule it out. I know that alot of people on the board may not agree with this - as medical tests can be very expensive and a hassle. Last year I had a headache for four months. It never went away no matter what I took and I was convinced it was a brain tumor. My primary told me to take tylenol. (Of course, being a hypo - I decided that I was dying and I better find me a neurologist quickly). I found one and she said that they are probably daily migraines triggered by stress. One side of my head was really tender and inflamed. So, yes, the headaches were real. She gave anti-convulsives and a week of prednisone to get the inflamation down. It didn't work... I still had headaches and I was tripping out from the anticonvulsive drugs. So she said, "Why don't we do an MRI of your brain - I think you're worrying about a brain tumor is causing your headaches". So of course, scheduled the MRI - (it took a week and I was so anxious and scared).... had the MRI and everything was fine. Miraculously, my headaches went away about a week later and haven't come back since. (At least unexplained headaches haven't come back). I'm prone to migraines, so now when I get one, I take my drug, it goes away and I don't worry.Chris, go get a physical. Have a CBC done, have your doctor give you the physical exam (i.e, check your nodes, etc.), go get your routine gyne work done, etc. Tell your doctor your fears and tell them you want to be tested for it. Most of the time, they will, if just to make you feel better.This is what usually works for me... and try to stay away from the internet symptom surfing.Good luck,Roo


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## 22605

Thank you so much for this thread. Boy oh boy. I just got off the phone with my mother (who I had to wake up from sleeping) to have her calm me down. My anxiety has gotten worse recently and rose to a spike tonight because - guess what - my Google adventures.Yes, surfing the internet, trying to diagnose led me to scary words.I am so relieved to see there are others out there besides me who are in this same boat. I do not feel so alone.


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## 18059

I don't google but I get alot of magazines about what is making you sick and then I have to take the quiz and of course I have all the sysptems, and then look up how to cure it. Most of the time I already have tried it and it did'nt help,so I read some more or go to the libaray and check out a book about it and then freak out some more.oh and if you ever look up colon cleansing don't get on the web site that says they can get rid of parasites that live in your body, I did'nt even look at the pictures but the stories on there gave me nightmares for weeks.so I did'nt order thier stuff cause it scared me too much. creepy.so now I try not to look up too much stuff.


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## 23677

Dear Chris, You are a hypochondriac, but guess what, most of us are.!!!!How many normal people do you think check the bowl after a bowel motion ? ANSWER. NONEHow many normal people wake up & worry about the type of bowel movement they may have that day if any? Answer NONEHow many normal people go to the supermarket & read all the labels in case they are allergic to the contents.? Answer NONE You are entitled to be a hyperchondriac because you have had plenty of practice! Trouble is its not a good hobby because the stress can do far more harm than the pain you think you have today , but not yesterday, a little further up, but not as intense, more across to the right near my kidneys, oh no, not my kidneys, I only have 2 left! etc etc. Go to the doctor , get some mild antidepressants, & Xanax (anti panic attack) The Xanax will work the same day & calm you down, but the a.d.s can take 2 weeks to really kick in.In the meantime relax with the xanax because you badly need a break from yourself, & I really mean that!You have no idea how flamin` good you will feel in about a month or 6 weeks if you do this. Remember the Xanax is only a temporary measure (couple of weeks at the most) because it is easy to get hooked on them.Start eating raw almonds & sunflower kernels for snacks during the day & always have an apple. If you get palpatations from stress as well specially after a meal, buy some KELP powder to regulate your thyroid. Mix a 1/4 of a teaspoon with some hot water then add cold .Mix in some fruit juice( because Kelp is very seaweedy) (preferably mangosteen) & drink first thing. Go for long walks if you can, sit in the sunshine, & breathe deeply. I will tell you now , you dont have anything sinister! What you do have is spasms in your back caused thru sheer stress, & they will pass. A good massage will help! How do I know all these things? The answer is I have been near death many times , but only in my head, so you can put it down to experience.


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## Guest

Well said Snakeoil - you talk alot of good common sense - I seem to be on a bit of a one at the moment (always seem to before my birthday - this Weds) - its almost like - "my god I've made 43 - surely I can't survive another year" - I wonder how much time we've all spent worrying about basically sod all!! My best stress buster is Milo my Shetland Sheepdog.So here's hoping I make it to 44!!Sue


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## 21666

I just had to write in here to tell you all that reading these posts is like looking in the mirror.. I did not know you were all here in the IBS forum!!I hate to say it, but you all made me feel like I am not mental!!I have suffered from panic/anxiety since I was 19.. I am now 38..I know I am a hypochondriac, but why is we feel like it is something to be ashamed about? At least I do.. maybe because the doctors do and my family has always just rolled their eyes at me and make me feel that someday I will really get sick and then what? Who is going to believe me?I could go on and on and on.. but I won't, right now I am looking for some sort of support group.. do any of you know of anything like that? I live in Houston, Texas..


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## mlucier

SusanK, I have IBS and it has just recently caused anxiety for me. I was looking for an IBS support group. I live in Cypress, Texas right outside or Houston. I couldn't find any support groups, but I'm going to keep looking. Maybe I should start one!


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## 16273

I was so so so happy to read that I'm not completely alone. I've had most of these same exact problems since I was a small child. I convince myself that i'm dying... any kind of cancer or tumor... I'm also a symptom surfer... all of these comments helped me more than anything...


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## Guest

God bless - what is it with us and bloody cancer - sorry, not belitting anyone who really is suffering with this god-awful disease (including our wonderful best man who now has secondaries in his liver at the not very ripe old age of 44) - I convinced myself that I had a probbo with my uterus - and there I was surfing this god-awful internet and yes, yes all the boxes ticked - deffo uterine cancer. Toddled along to the nurse today for my smear check-up and she squinted down there (poor thing) and said "yes, perfectly healthy uterus". Of course, with the stress the old IBS symptoms run totally out of control, bloated out like an 8 month preggie woman, cramped up with pain and wind, terrible stabbing pain under the lh rib (always a favourite site of mine).I'm 43, have 3 kids a lovely hubby, a fluffy hound and a really nice pt job so what the bloody hell is with me!!Sorry, nice to rant and such a relief to know I'm not alone!All the best everyoneSue, Manchester


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## 16392

You are all right in writing that looking up your symptoms on the Internet can cause a lot of anxiety, especially when one stumbles over a piece of info. that "fits". But knowledge is not all bad -- at least not from where I'm sitting -- and let me just explain that one to you. About 6 years ago (before I gained some modicum of Internet savvy) I used to look up symptoms in my AMA Home Medical Encyclopedia. I had no idea that there was anything called IBS. Since early childhood I had always suffered from what was referred to as "a nevous stomach" which would send me straight to the LOO at any kind of upset. Loosing my job after 26 years of service sent me into a total depressed stupor and I now started to alternate between "running fast" and total constipation, and suffered from frequent huge headaches - the kind that would force me to stay in bed in a dark room for hours. I had seen my doctor several times but he couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. Then after 6 days of being unable to "go" I picked the AMA looking for constipation. It had several references and the very last one was IBS. As I read all of my light bulbs lit up - here were all my symptoms. Doc then ran some tests and bingo, IBS it is. Well, it was obviously not a cure, but at least now I know what makes me feel so totally miserable, and that it's not stomach cancer - being from a cancer prone family, that was obviously what I had feared the most.So, dear fellow IBS sufferer, let's keep trucking as best we can, but don't give up on educating yourselves as to your ailments. Just try to keep the info. from sending you into a total panic.


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## Guest

Hey guys - I jest ye not - try Pilates - I've been going now for about a month and its bloody wonderful. Its great for your central abdo muscles and it kind of calms me down.The key to all of this - keep busy - and yes, here your very valid point Nanette but if you are a total neurotic like me - avoid that net!!!Happy trucking!Sue


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## 21286

Hey guys, It's me, Chris D. I've been trying to work more and surf the net less. That was great advice and I took it.I am on two new medications. One is to battle my depression and the other is Buspar for anxiety bouts. They are helping. I am also in cognitive beh. counseling for all of this.It's hard. I still get the aches and pains but I've had them for three to four years now and I guess if I were inflicted with a terminal illness I'd be dead by now. Mostly pains in my left lower chest area and back spasms...of course I still think I have something but I try and stop myself when I do.I've also been working out and I've lost some weight. Believe it or not, I think carrying extra fat on our bodies can make us also experience pains in our bodies. I'm also trying to sleep more and chill out. Life, nobody gets out alive. I'm trying to live with that certain fact and I'm trying to accept the fact that from day one, we are all dying and when we go is really not 100% up to us. Hell, I even started to think about "would I really want to live forever." NO!!! I do think it would be cool to live a few hundred years though. That's not going to happen either. This 90 year old lady I met on a recent flight told me that "death" is a "reward" for a long, hard life. Resting in peace is a reward? I thought about what she said and each day it's making more and more sense.I am trying to live each day with some gratitude and laughter and not worry if my heart is going to stop or if I'm going to get something sinnister. I TRY! Somedays I'm more successful then other days. Somedays I'm a total hypochondriac. Like two weeks ago I had some arcylic nails on. I hated them. I tore them off and then within a few days I noticed "black like splinters" under my nail bed. I surfed the web and it said blood clots in the heart will do this but so will recent trauma to the nail itself. I went to my dr. and he said that since I ripped the arcylic nails off that's what caused the black splinters. He checked my heart and said I was ok. Of course any normal person would put two and two together but I couldn't relax until I had my doctor check me out. He told me to relax and prescribed the buspar. So far so good.I don't think my anxiety will ever end but I'm trying things to improve myself. I'm dealing better. I hate the suicide thoughts, they are the worse cause it feels like there isn't any hope left. I have hope.Doing better now, I hope to be doing 100% better by this time next year. I guess death doesn't scare me, it's the dying process that scares me but knowing that I we will all have our own dying process eventually and knowing that it's natural and something we can't 100% control (per my counselor) is also a fact and that's a fact that no matter how much I worry about will never change, it's certain.Instead I'm loving myself more these past few weeks by writing, ignoring my back pain by popping tylenol as needed and getting a massage. Instead of spending hours on the net surfing for illnesses I'm reading baby books to my baby son. Instead of hiding under my covers I will get on my treadmill and work my fear out. This can be so hard to do but I have to change my thoughts and I can only do that by forcing myself to do something productive.I love posting!!! Thanks for hearing me out and I took all of your comments to heart and I've even listened to some advices given. From the bottom of my little, weak heart...lol....heart diseased and all of course..Thanks.Chris D


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## 22242

Wow ROO you sound just like me !!!


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## 18294

42 yo male--it's not just women! Long history of depression and especially anxiety--sometimes treated sometimes not. Difficulty with the sexual side effects and Effexor doesn't work for me.Long history of digestive symptoms--usually dull pain just under ribs--GERD--many bouts of diarrhea and few of constipation. Latest is a series of pains in left side that run from my umbilicus to my left most lower ribs--then some pain in chill-flashes in my upper back--even under and around my left shoulder blade. Sometimes left shoulder and armpit hurt. Sometimes right colon area hurts. Often feel globus--don't like to eat and then feel I have cancer weight loss and then food makes me nauseous. Panic cycles.Usually I wake up several times in a night. When I wake up for morning I feel like I am mostly if not totally pain free. By the time I walk to the bathroom I am considering the type and consistency of poop I will have. Crazy. I get so depressed and anxious and alone I cycle between just giving up and saying what will be will be, and bouts of trying to think of what tests can be run. My first upper GI was when I was 26. I am now 42. All these posts sound very familiar--and the Internet symptom searching is to be avoided at all costs. Not sure how to cope with this--it has hurt my productive work, my family life, my relationship with my kids...etc. etc. The bouts are so painful (psychologically) that I sometimes hope it is a real disease. I am ashamed and sorry for myself. Then I stumble on a real cancer forum and read about some nice 19 yo kid dealing with a 1 in a million bout of Pacreatic Cancer or something and I again cycle through shame and doubt usually leading to more back, chest, shoulder or gut pain...spasms, etc. Heck of a way to lead an otherwise lovely life.


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## 14825

To continue the theme of it's not just women...I am reading this thread feeling like a complete beginner as some of you guys have been suffering for years. However, it's so reassuring (is that the right word, perhaps it should be scary) to find so many other people have exactly the same problem I do. The random pains, feelings, thoughts of having some kind of terminal disease etc. are exactly what I have had now for around 18 months. The path it takes you down is not at all desirable and I for one would love to get off it. The obsession with bowel movements, reading of labels for some ingredient that might be the cause of my cramps and general discomfort, constantly reflecting on what I've eaten, drunk or done in the previous 24 hours to find a cause etc. The thing that I hate the most is how much of my thinking time is consumed with these negative thoughts, how that impacts on my mood and behaviour and therefore on my relationships with those close to me. Breaking this cycle of negative thinking seems to be the key and those of you who have talked of exercise, meditation, and keeping busy as a means of overcoming this are spot on. For example how many times do you get completely absorbed in a conversation with a friend or work colleague or engrossed in soemthing on TV and all of a sudden realise that you haven't had a single one of your "symptoms" that entire time? That's what occurred to me and is what I find helps the most, (i.e. overwhelm your mind with other thoughts and it can't focus on the negative). It's not a cure, but it certainly helps. I find new challenges the best as you really have to concentrate and give them your full attention.


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## 16422

Wow, finally I have found out what is wrong with me!I have IBS but I have been to the doctors countless times since because I have had such bad pains under the left side of my ribs. I thought my lung had collapsed or something! The only thing the doctor could come up with was that I may have bashed it at some point!!!It is good to know that it is just another symptom to add to my list and not something really bad.I got so depressed when I first found out as I became ill so suddenly. I am also lactose intolerant and allergic to a lot of other foods so it brings on symptoms nearly everyday.It's good to know there is a place where I can come and share my experiences


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## 13515

I found this site about a week ago and i love it.When i start going mental i come and log in,read everyone's stories and i feel better.I'v stopped buying mags i useto like doing the crosswords and entering the compotitions but the stories in them freeked me out and if the story was about somebody with a brain tumor then i started getting a headache etc etc.I can be ok for a while weeks or even months & some bad news about somebody will start me off.I feel nervous,sick & im scared to get out of bed & i think you stiffen yourself up so much you get tense & more pains so you think oh my god theres something wrong with me! Ive stopped looking up symptoms aswell cos no matter what pain you have you will always find the worst diagnosis.I think i have come up with every type of cancer & thought oh my god ive got all those symptoms i must have it.I have been like this since i was about 17 & am now 32 & its such a shame we are wasting our young healthy yrs (my friend keeps telling me that)I think i get like this more when i have more time on my hands & ther isnt much going on.Ezabella that story made me laugh with the collapsed lung.I started with pains under my ribs a few wks ago & thought the same as you but after seeing 3 doctors i dare not go again in case they bring the men in the white coats to get me.Its not funny though i know,people say oh there's nothin wrong with you & snap out of it but its very hard sometimes to come out of it. Good luck to everyone


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## 14299

My question is... can you be a hypocondriac and not know it? Sometimes I worry about having an illness, but Im so scared of doctors (one of my fears) that I dont go to the doctor (unless its severe) but Im curious if whether or not Im just worrying myself about things?


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## 21185

Hi thereNo I don't think you are a hypochrondriac. Yes, sitting at a computer all day can cause aches and pains. Have you thought about getting a different chair with lumbar support and are you ergonomically correct. Meaning monitor at a level that doesn't strain you neck, etc.I think IBS (which I don't have) depression (which I do have) and anxiety (have that too) go together.As far as anxiety, I take Klonipin. If you go to a psychotherapist they can not prescribe meds. But I know that shrinks do. Since I've been on the Klonipin I no longer suffer those awful panic/anxiety like I'm gonna die attacks.Paxil is my antidepressant. Works well. Keeps me out of the dark pit.Good luck.


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## 15082

> quote:Originally posted by sickofbeingsick22:Okay,I am trying very hard not to fall into a deep depression episode (like the one I had last week/weekend).I am trying to reassure myself that the reason I have pain is because I suffer from IBS and from being overweight but the little devil inside my head tells me I have something sinnister.


Not to scare you, but you sound a lot like me. Have you thought about food allergies? Nearly everything you described can be caused by food allergies. Paranoia, depression, anxiety, overweight/obesity, headaches, body aches, pains, sleeping a lot, needing to sleep a lot.I used to have horrid IBS. I had (still have some) major paranoia, anxiety, etc. Then I figured out that I was allergic to corn. and started to avoid it. My IBS went away. My mood, emotional, and mental problems also faded.You may want to look into Food Allergy Addiction. There is a book by Theron Randolph that explains things really well.


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