# Constipated every moment of every day with pain



## ChronicTick (Nov 23, 2017)

Hi,

19 year old male here

I was misdiagnosed with IBS-D issues but now I have only Chronic Constipation. Every day I'm constipated. so bad that I was hospitalized with severe pain for hours back in august. since then my doctor has be on miralax, and some fiber.

I think I need to find the right balence of it or something, because after a while the fiber helped, then made it worse again. the pain gets so severre I'm almost screaming. (and i'm fairly pain intollereant).

I'm looking for suggestions. I'll be seeing my GI this week.

thanks.


----------



## GJMody (May 11, 2019)

Have you tried Motegrity...aka....prucalopride. Check with your doctor. This may help.


----------



## annie7 (Aug 16, 2002)

so sorry. living with chronic constipation is miserable.

that's good that you will be seeing a gastro doc this week. there are a number of constipation meds available--motegrity, zelnorm, amitiza, linzess, trulance, ibsrela---so hopefully one of these will help you. antispasmodics like librax or bentyl can help with pain if your pain is caused by colon spasms.

you might want to check out this thread. it has a lot of tips and tricks for dealing with chronic C.

https://www.ibsgroup.org/forums/topic/152106-the-great-list-of-remedies/

everybody's different but fiber never helped me--in fact it only made me worse. if your colon is already moving slowly, dumping more fiber in there can just back it up all the more. that's exactly what happened to me.

a lot of people here have had good success with an OTC laxative--Dr Schultz Intestinal Formula #1. you might want to give that a try. you can buy it on amazon or from the Dr Schultz webside if you can't find it in stores.

good luck with everything. hope you can find some relief. take care.


----------



## Wendyintucson (Feb 14, 2020)

I take Linzess daily & 400 mg stool softener twice weekly


----------



## ChronicTick (Nov 23, 2017)

Thanks for the replies all.

My appointment was moved to the 28th, as I was in too much pain to leave the house. I'll ask about some of this and see.

Thanks


----------



## annie7 (Aug 16, 2002)

thanks for the update.

so sorry you were having so much pain that you couldn't leave the house. i've read that linzess is also supposed to help with pain.

good luck with your appointment. hope your doc can help you.


----------



## flossy (Dec 8, 2012)

Hi ChronicTick -

Read this whenever you have the time, it should help (click on below link to view):

http://www.ibsgroup.org/forums/topic/325690-the-abcs-of-chronic-constipation-aka-ibs-c/

Good luck & keep us posted!


----------



## ChronicTick (Nov 23, 2017)

Thanks for the suggestions.

Doctor gave me a new lower dose of fiber to try, a different produce, and said if it gets worse to stop it immediately. I tried it, and it just got worse. I have to excessive levels of miralax (usually I take the recommended 17g, but some days I have to go up to 25.5g) in order to get it out of my body, and if I don't, I'm literally in pain that is the worse thing I've ever felt in my entire life. I mean, I'm fairly pain-tolerant, but this pain really makes me near scream.

I believe further this started with misdiagnosis. I think back when I had bathroom issues after my diarrhea stopped, I assumed it was more of the same. So I took imodium to fix it - sometimes daily. This was WRONG and that is where my MAJOR constipation troubles started. Luckily, it only took me a month (july to august, 2019) to figure that out. Since then I've been struggling. In all honestly, I think what I was told about having IBS-D is totally wrong, my whole life I remember being constipated. My current doctor says that if one is very constipated, diarrhea may go through the space and come out - making you falsely think you have diarrhea.

Anyways I literally don't know anymore what to do. I guess I'll call my doctor and ask for further assistance. Because this is really beginning to be problematic. Keep in mind, I've graduated high school (barely), but I cannot get a job or go to college. I can barely leave my house for longer than 15-20 minutes at a time most of the time. I'm really starting to lose hope.


----------



## annie7 (Aug 16, 2002)

please do not lose hope.

as i mentioned earlier, there are a number of prescription constipation medications that you can try: motegrity, zelnorm, amitiza, linzess, trulance, ibsrela---so hopefully one of these will help you. and there are stimulant laxatives, too. a lot of people here have had good luck with Dr Schultz intestinal formula #1.

also, check out this thread. lots of good ideas here:

https://www.ibsgroup.org/forums/topic/152106-the-great-list-of-remedies/

antispasmodics like librax or bentyl can help with pain if your pain is caused by colon spasms.


----------



## ChronicTick (Nov 23, 2017)

Thanks. All attempts with fiber again failed as usual. I am sick of it being suggested.

Those 2 have possible side effect of constipation, I'm not sure its a good idea considering how volatile my system is.

I will look into the rest... thank you


----------



## flossy (Dec 8, 2012)

ChronicTick said:


> Thanks. All attempts with fiber again failed as usual. I am sick of it being suggested.
> 
> Those 2 have possible side effect of constipation, I'm not sure its a good idea considering how volatile my system is.
> 
> I will look into the rest... thank you


Fiber is a menace for a lot of us with constipation. Thankfully, there is a ton of different stuff you can try. I think I listed a bunch in my above post, yes?

This is what I recommend (click on below link to view):

http://www.ibsgroup.org/forums/topic/239065-finally-a-product-i-can-recommend/

Good luck and keep us posted!


----------



## traveler309 (Sep 30, 2019)

Would it help if I just drink liquids until I go to the bathroom usually I have diarrah now two days constipsted Im taking metamucil for almost two months its not working now


----------



## mrcasual (Dec 20, 2019)

Please listen. What your symptoms are? Constipation or diarrhea can be caused by many factors. Do you have any pain? If yes what pain and where and when? What other symptoms do you have apart from constipation? Describe mention everything that comes to your head, even something that occurs rarely.


----------



## ChronicTick (Nov 23, 2017)

Hi.. Thanks for replies.

Interestingly enough, just sticking with MiraLAX 17G once a day and avoiding fiber has kept me in decent shape for the past few weeks. Not perfect, still many pain sessions, but manageable. I could actually manage a job. But I forgot it one day, and I'm back to hell ville today.

For my pain, its a dull pain low below my stomach, where my lower intestines are. It gets better after a bowel movement, but returns shortly after until the entire bathroom session is up, then it gets better. Its worst after I eat.

The rest of the time its seemly random. What I eat and when makes 0 difference, I've tried various diets with no avail. I avoid dairy (lactose intolerant) and stay away from wheat when I can.


----------



## slc239 (Apr 10, 2020)

Hi ChronicTick,

If you are managing with just osmotic laxatives that's a good sign - means you can still have natural bowel movements without the need for stimulants. The pain sounds horrible though, I'm sorry you have to deal with that.

It could be inflammation which is tricky to deal with, I assume you have already tried the FODMAP diet for it. Could also be caused by the constipation itself if you have a build up or obstruction (seems to be what your doctor was referring to, as stool will leak around an obstruction and appear as diarrhoea).

If you think you have a build-up of stool in your intestine you could try limiting fibre in your diet (lots of meat/fish/eggs, only white bread/rice/pasta, no beans or nuts) to avoid adding to it, and maybe an over-the-counter stimulant like senna or bisacodyl (don't know what the US names are) every few days to try to shift it. Keep taking the movicol definitely too, adjust your dose as needed if the consistency becomes too hard/too liquid.

Good luck, I hope it starts to improve.


----------



## ChronicTick (Nov 23, 2017)

Hi, August update here - sorry for lack of response.

Things were going fairly well and I decided to enroll in college - and got in. I am now 4 days from flying out and had a insult this night. Randomly got huge pain and then something I haven't had in AGES, diarrhea. After 30 minutes the pain subsided completely. I did not do my usual of taking a little extra MiraLAX due to have diarrhea. We'll see what happens tomorrow. I did get a spooked about the college trip across the country, however. Living away from home for the first time will be hard, luckily disability services accommodated a private room for me.

I do think I know what happened. I found out the food I had had for dinner was heavily soaked in oil and fat and this is a bad combination for me.

It wasn't as bad as the previous incidents around New Years and last August.

@slc239 - Thanks for your comments. The pain is truly bad, I am not one to scream in pain, ever, but this one really makes me grunt loudly. I often have to blast music in my headphones to distract me enough to deal with it. I also get pretty severe hotflashes.

Anyway, best to all here and thanks for listening.


----------



## GJMody (May 11, 2019)

Chronic Tick...How are you feeling? Diarrhea stopped? How is your constipation? What meds are you taking now? Are they working? Keep us posted.


----------



## ChronicTick (Nov 23, 2017)

Back again - again sorry for lack of responses. I guess I try to block out thinking about it when I can and causes me to forget.

I cancelled my trip. No more college for now. Things have stayed deteriorated.

I still feel constipated daily. In the last 2 days I've had some small bit of almost diarrhea which I'm told can happen when one is very constipated.

The only meds I have is miralax and occaisonally sennakot when things get very bad.

After some talks with my GI, we got referral to Mayo clinic. hoping to get in. I'm so sick and tired of this. Career, social life, and education are all down the drain at the moment.

Thanks all for reading and God Bless.


----------



## annie7 (Aug 16, 2002)

so sorry your problems are still so bad. that's good you got a referral to the mayo clinic. i hope you get in . if anyone can help you, they can.

good luck. keeping you in my prayers.


----------



## ChronicTick (Nov 23, 2017)

thank you annie.. much appreciated


----------



## annie7 (Aug 16, 2002)

thanks. you're more than welcome.


----------



## ChronicTick (Nov 23, 2017)

2 weeks ago heard from Mayo, I'll be heading in October. Apparently they thought my case was "Serious".

That's good news I guess. I hope they find something or at least give me a way to function as an individual.


----------



## annie7 (Aug 16, 2002)

that's great that you'll be going to mayo next month. if anyone can help you, they can.

best of luck to you and please keep us posted. thanks.


----------



## ChronicTick (Nov 23, 2017)

Thanks. Now im focusing on getting through each day. its very tough and very painful.


----------



## annie7 (Aug 16, 2002)

yes, good luck. so sorry you're in so much pain. hope mayo can help with that.


----------



## GJMody (May 11, 2019)

Hi. Did you go to Mayo clinic? If not when are you supposed to go? How is your constipation now? What are you taking for it? Please keep us posted.


----------



## ChronicTick (Nov 23, 2017)

Hi
I am on the airplane as we speak... Unfortunately sitting in the lavatory in pain. Appointment is tomorrow.


----------



## ChronicTick (Nov 23, 2017)

Hi
I am on the airplane as we speak... Unfortunately sitting in the lavatory in pain. Appointment is tomorrow.


----------



## annie7 (Aug 16, 2002)

Good luck with your appointment.


----------



## ChronicTick (Nov 23, 2017)

I have Pelvic Floor Dysfunction severe. My pelvic muscles are not relaxing to allow stool to pass thru.

Over 900 mass they say concerns them, but i have 5000 mass. That explains the pain.

Now Im waiting months for physical therapy and trying to make it through each day.

back home now.


----------



## GJMody (May 11, 2019)

Sorry to hear abt PFD. Sincerely hope physiotherapy helps you. Any meds you need to take?


----------



## annie7 (Aug 16, 2002)

thanks for the update.

so very sorry to hear that you have pfd. and so sorry that you have to wait so long to start biofeedback and physical therapy. i do hope that biofeedback and PT help you.

i was dx'd with pfd. my gastro doc said i was one of the worst cases he's ever seen. i went through two eight week sessions of biofeedback and PT. i also bought a home biofeedback machine so i could practice at home.

good luck with everything. take care.


----------



## Positiveside (Apr 19, 2017)

that's good, I hope everything works well. good luck


----------



## ChronicTick (Nov 23, 2017)

Thanks guys...

Managed to find a local place that knows this problem in and out and has had great success treating it. Will be meeting with them end of November.

One problem regarding biofeedback, at the Mayo clinic we attempted to try it just once and it could not get in there. The pressures are too tight everywhere. During one of the tests I did I had severe severe pain and had to abort the test.

Well I'll bring it up to them and see what happens. I hope and pray because the pain is unbearable.

Thanks all for your supports.


----------



## annie7 (Aug 16, 2002)

ChronicTick said:


> Managed to find a local place that knows this problem in and out and has had great success treating it. Will be meeting with them end of November.
> 
> .


that's wonderful. hopefully they will be able to help you. thanks for keeping us posted. good luck!

i've read that sometimes valium suppositories can help relax the muscles down there.


----------



## GJMody (May 11, 2019)

All the best!


----------



## skeetervee (Nov 14, 2020)

Hi, has anyone suggested lots and lots of water??? It helps. Also a product called super colon cleanse. Found at health food stores. Saved me.


----------



## ChronicTick (Nov 23, 2017)

I do drink a lot or water every day, yes.

Things are still very tough, but I'm doing my best to do the exercises every day. It will apparently get worse before better and I think I'm starting to feel that. The last few days have been really tough, all though yesterday was fine.

I'm hoping and praying that this works. Thanks everyone.


----------



## annie7 (Aug 16, 2002)

good luck. i really do hope that things get better for you soon--especially the pain. you've suffered too much already.


----------



## ChronicTick (Nov 23, 2017)

Thanks alot annie. So far no luck yet but I'm sticking with the program. More times than before I can at least use the bathroom now and have a formed bowl movement but still doesn't feel empty. The pain is the same but sometimes worse. I guess that's progress.

happy new year to everyone suffering out there with me, wishing you strength.


----------



## annie7 (Aug 16, 2002)

so sorry you haven't had any luck yet but good for you for sticking to the program. yes it sounds like you've made some progress but so sorry you still have all the pain.

have you discussed the pain with your pelvic floor PT ? hopefully she/he can help you with that.

keeping you in my prayers.


----------



## ChronicTick (Nov 23, 2017)

annie7 said:


> have you discussed the pain with your pelvic floor PT ? hopefully she/he can help you with that.


Yep, we're working on some things. Tonight pain is rough again for no reason. Feels like being kicked in the groin a bunch of times.

Thanks.


----------



## annie7 (Aug 16, 2002)

ChronicTick said:


> Yep, we're working on some things. Tonight pain is rough again for no reason. Feels like being kicked in the groin a bunch of times.
> 
> Thanks.


omg that sounds terrible. so sorry you are suffering like this. hope someone can help you.


----------



## ChronicTick (Nov 23, 2017)

Little update from me, I finally was able to get into the PT with biofeedback at the beginning of March, the PT found when I was sitting and attempting to push, instead of relaxing I would tighten up. He also said I was pushing far too hard which was likely a result from the learned behavior my whole life. I've been doing the biofeedback for a month and a week or so now, and I now can do more of proper pushing but it is difficult and requires concentration and patience. I've noticed sometimes my bowl movements have been a little better and easier, but not always. My PT says I'm making progress but there is still work to do. He strongly believes my issue can be corrected so I am doing as much as I can to make that reality.


----------



## annie7 (Aug 16, 2002)

thanks for the update.

i had similar problems--i would tighten up instead of relax and also would push too hard. and yes, proper pushing does require a lot of concentration and patience.

that's terrific that you've been making progress. keep up the good work!


----------



## ChronicTick (Nov 23, 2017)

Well I have good news and bad news. The good news is I've mostly learned to control my pelvic muscles and can now do the appropriate pushing and squeezing, and I am almost within normal pressures according to the appointment earlier. The bad news is I am still in pain and if I eat even the slightest bit too much its agony the entire evening. I'm still not able to have good bowl movements despite this now being much better and also still on nearly 2 doses of Miralax. I'll be following up with my GI shortly.

I don't know how much more of this i can take... the years are going by with no relief and not able to do anything with my life but sit in my parents house and suffer.


----------



## GJMody (May 11, 2019)

Did yo mean I CAN do appropriate pushing and squeezing? Did you try motegrity med? It works for some. It worked for me but stopped after few months. Deep breathing and Yoga will relieve abdominal pain. How about OTC laxative? I take dulcolax every three days and it clears my bowels. No diarrhea or loose stools.


----------



## annie7 (Aug 16, 2002)

so sorry for all your pain. i really wish someone could help you . have you tried going to a pain management doc? wish your gastro doc could help you.


----------



## ChronicTick (Nov 23, 2017)

GJMody said:


> Did yo mean I CAN do appropriate pushing and squeezing?


Yes, sorry. I meant I can "now" do them. I have noticed some improvements in that department, now when I feel stool there I can mostly have a bowl movement properly.



annie7 said:


> so sorry for all your pain. i really wish someone could help you . have you tried going to a pain management doc? wish your gastro doc could help you.


The problem is most pain medications have side effect of constipation... so out of the question sadly knowing the mass of stool they found last time.

Its 2 weeks later, Pelvic Floor Therapist says my muscles are completely correct now but I should keep the exercises up for a little longer.

Another change though is that I am having much more diarrhea and loose stools now but still feel constipated at the same time if that makes sense.

I guess I would explain like, I feel "full" and constipated, but when I finally go it is mostly diarrhea.

I am considering 2 options:

- With the pelvic floor issue solved, is this the result of the miralax now able to do something and start forcing all the backed up stool to begin to clear

- Or is it backed up so far that the only thing getting by is diarrhea (in fact this is what caused my initial misdiagnosis as a child and caused over 10 years of making the constipation worse without realizing as I may have mentioned)

Really don't know how much longer I can take this. Need X-rays done I think and see if that mass is still all in there. At mayo clinic they said I have 5x the amount where doctors get "worried" about a constitution issue... Meeting with GI doc in a few days. We'll see what happens.

What I really want to know is, how do people with these issues keep up a social life? Mine has fallen apart entirely through the last 4 years of suffering with this to the point where I no longer have contact with any friends (most moved away to college/work)


----------



## annie7 (Aug 16, 2002)

pain management would not prescribe opiods to someone suffering from constipation. there are other ways to relieve pain. have you tried any antispasmodics to relieve your pain?

hope your appointment with your GI doc goes well. hopefully she/he will order xrays to see if the mass is still in there.

good luck.


----------



## Positiveside (Apr 19, 2017)

ChronicTick said:


> Well I have good news and bad news. The good news is I've mostly learned to control my pelvic muscles and can now do the appropriate pushing and squeezing, and I am almost within normal pressures according to the appointment earlier. The bad news is I am still in pain and if I eat even the slightest bit too much its agony the entire evening. I'm still not able to have good bowl movements despite this now being much better and also still on nearly 2 doses of Miralax. I'll be following up with my GI shortly.
> 
> I don't know how much more of this i can take... the years are going by with no relief and not able to do anything with my life but sit in my parents house and suffer.


Good that you learned how to control your pelvic muscles, so sorry that there is still pain. I hope it goes away too


----------



## ChronicTick (Nov 23, 2017)

Some update...



Positiveside said:


> Good that you learned how to control your pelvic muscles, so sorry that there is still pain. I hope it goes away too


Thank you

I have now completed the PFD therapy, and had an X-ray showing my colon is now mostly empty. GI has be reducing the evening MiraLAX dose keeping the morning dose. We don't know what is causing the discomfort still. I really hope this works because otherwise we've tried pretty mucuh everything....


----------



## ChronicTick (Nov 23, 2017)

3 months later. no luck. Usual things are just making everything worse, trying fiber etc. Everything that is supposed to help since solving PFD just worsens this. 

I've been in communication with the Mayo Clinic to return there since is been nearly a year. I have absolutely no life, at all, so this is literally my last option. I don't know what else to try... I've tried everything in the damn book and I still can't work, go to school, or have a social life. What type of life is that.


----------



## annie7 (Aug 16, 2002)

so sorry. i hope and pray that mayo can help you.


----------



## flossy (Dec 8, 2012)

I've been on Dr. Schulze's Intestinal Formula # 1 for over 5 years now. I take it daily during my main meal of the day. It's all-natural/herbal. You should definitely try it. You can buy it on Amazon or directly from his website:









Intestinal Formula #1 - Dr. Schulze Bowel Detox & Cleanse - herbdoc.com


Intestinal Formula #1 by Dr. Schulze. Natural, herbal bowel detox that promotes regular bowel movements, cleanses and strengthens the colon.




www.herbdoc.com


----------



## flankking (Mar 19, 2020)

ChronicTick said:


> 3 months later. no luck. Usual things are just making everything worse, trying fiber etc. Everything that is supposed to help since solving PFD just worsens this.
> 
> I've been in communication with the Mayo Clinic to return there since is been nearly a year. I have absolutely no life, at all, so this is literally my last option. I don't know what else to try... I've tried everything in the damn book and I still can't work, go to school, or have a social life. What type of life is that.


So sorry to hear that, but I'm sure you'll find a solution soon.


----------



## ChronicTick (Nov 23, 2017)

@flossy Thanks, I've tried it and unfortunately I got way worse.
@flankking I appreciate your support but doubt this will be the case.

I was in the emergency room again due an onset of intractable pain that did not stop and the inability to have a proper bowl movement. Since then still I am not having proper bowl movements. In addition, the more I try things to help, the worse I get even when undoing the change. 

Something is very wrong here and I don't know how it will be found at this rate. Mayo Clinic doctor wants me to return for some tests but I have absolutely no idea how I will get there at this point. 

I'm getting very tired of living this utterly destroyed life.


----------



## annie7 (Aug 16, 2002)

so very sorry for all you are going through. 

i had both pfd and colonic inertia and things got so bad for me that i finally had ileostomy surgery . kind of extreme but it did give me my life back.

keeping you in my prayers. good luck.


----------



## ChronicTick (Nov 23, 2017)

Thanks Annie Your continued support means a lot.
Well extreme pain here again, this time with a lot of movement and nearly 2 doses of MiraLAX, one in the morning and one now.... and all I did was eat a normal sized dinner.

Also, Mayo Clinic doctor was told about my ER visit and apparently is extremely concerned. Most people with theses symptoms do not have the type of pain I have apparently and that scares me. At this point I don't even know how I'm going to get out there let alone stay in a hotel. And they're only admitting COVID and Cancer patients and of course life threatening things.

My luck just gets worse and worse. Its now about 4 years I've been dealing with this pain.


----------



## annie7 (Aug 16, 2002)

so sorry for all your extreme pain and misery. hope you can somehow get to Mayo and see a doc. keeping you in my prayers.


----------



## ChronicTick (Nov 23, 2017)

I somehow got to the Mayo by not eating anything but breakfast.

It's tough being in a hotel but I'm trying to eat low overall portion but high protein food to reduce bulk. Hopefully they find something this time that leads to more successful recovery. It's very frustrating to be here a year again later far worse than before.


----------



## annie7 (Aug 16, 2002)

good luck. keeping you in my prayers. i do hope they can help you.


----------



## ChronicTick (Nov 23, 2017)

December 6th update.
Mayo found nothing, except that my PFD was resolved - but yet no helping from my symptoms.
CT Scan normal. Endoscopy normal.

Forward to November. Back in the ER early Nov. Horribly traumatic experience since EMS didn't give me anything for pain it took a while to get seen. Next time I'm going back to not taking any pain control at him and letting EMS do it. I spent almost 2 hours there literally screaming in pain. They did a CT again and found some fluid in the pelvis which ended up being benign, was on antibiotics, doctor was considering Hirschsprung's, so had a colonscopy done and it was ruled out, still waiting on the follow up appt with the GI surgeon to discuss anything else now that the lab results are back (I didn't fully understand the report I saw online)

Had a few more flare ups along with the normal daily pains but nothing ER worthy. But I'll say this is horribly traumatic. I don't f***ing know how I've managed to stay sane. Quality life is almost nonexistent for me. Running out of options (and diagnosis')

They want me to try bisacodyl or possibly trulance. We will be discussing at the appointments soon. One thing that I'm not sure about... everyone always says its unusual the level of pain I'm in. That's not encouraging. I don't really like the idea of having to take some pain control drug.


----------



## annie7 (Aug 16, 2002)

ChronicTick said:


> December 6th update.
> Mayo found nothing, except that my PFD was resolved - but yet no helping from my symptoms.
> CT Scan normal. Endoscopy normal.
> 
> ...


so sorry to hear this. i was really hoping mayo could help you. and i'm so sorry about all your pain. that's miserable.

i used to take dulcolax. one important thing to remember about it: don't take it within 1 hour of taking antacids or dairy products or you'll get cramping.

hopefully trulance will help you.

opiod pain pills can make constipation worse so hope you don't have to go that route.

keeping you in my prayers. i really hope you can find something that will help you.


----------



## ChronicTick (Nov 23, 2017)

Thanks. Dulcolax caused me lots of bad cramping and did not help with the constipation even though I avoided dairy and don't take antacids. So that isn't an option 

I will be trying Linzess, Trulance, and Motegrity probably in the next coming months. Other than that I don't really have any more options left.

I also will be heading to another motility clinic about 45 minutes from me to see if they have any other ideas.


----------



## annie7 (Aug 16, 2002)

sorry about the dulcolax.

good luck with Linzess, Trulance, and Motegrity . hopefully at least one of those will work for you.

and good luck at the motility clinic. hopefully they can help you.

keeping you in my prayers.


----------



## ChronicTick (Nov 23, 2017)

Thanks Annie, I pray also. I can't live like this anymore. Its crushing me.


----------



## annie7 (Aug 16, 2002)

so very sorry. i hope and pray that somehow it gets better for you.


----------

