# An Open Apology and Questions



## Feisty (Aug 14, 2000)

To Everyone:I sincerely apologize for my terse replies to some prior posts when I didn't fully understand the whole thing to begin with. I hope you can find it in your hearts to forgive me for this. I have gone through some of the info about the Cognitive Behavior aspects, and the Hypnosis Tapes, etc. for anxiety and for IBS. Some or should I say most is still overwhelming for me because I have so much more to understand. Bear with me, please. And thank you to those who posted all those threads to which there were questions and discussions.My question: I also suffer from Fibromyalgia, daily migraines, along with IBS/C (mostly), (since surgery), but part of my problem is that I lack most of the rectal muscle (sorry if I'm embarrassing anyone). I only have 1/2" and my Surgeon told me 2 years ago when he tightened it that it would perhaps "buy" me 5 "good" years before I will have to have a colostomy. I have both a spastic colon and a spastic bladder. I live around a bathroom. I don't go anywhere without knowing where the closest one is. Due to lots of other pelvic floor damage, I also lack alot of the "feelings" that go along with the rest. Can Mike's tapes benefit me since I have all these other health issues besides? Does anyone else have some of these same health issues and what have you found works for you? Or am I just at the "end of the rope" and there is nothing more for me but to continue to tolerate things the way they are?What do you suggest? I've tried so many things with little to no relief. Biofeedback hasn't worked for me much either.Thanks!Karen


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## norbert46 (Feb 20, 2001)

Karen, I once tried biofeedback and could slow the beeps and blinking light with imagery thinking(guess I'm a good dreamer?) but could never get it to "kick in" when in an anxiety/panic IBS/D situation. As for any physical damage, what's done is done and only whatever the MD's can repair will ever help that. However, Mike's tapes may help retrain your subconcious mind to slow or stop the outta control gut spasms and the constant trip to the toilet! The only way to know if they'll work for you is to get them and use a positive attitude and diligently listen to the proper tape each day. I like to use a player(I got the cd's) by my bedside at bedtime thru headphones for a great sleep and eventually the messages should teach your subconcious to not direct the anxiety and reactions always to the gut causing spasms. The tapes are not expensive for the return, the best investment of my life for sure!







Try them and best wishes, Norb


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## eric (Jul 8, 1999)

Feisty, applogy accepted and no worries. What Norbert said about damage being done is true, the tapes won't help that, but will you benefit. I believe so as it can reduce the anxiety and help with your muscle tension and may even help with your migranes, that has been a common side effect that it may help. It would help as a management tool for you probably. It will probably also help you sleep.Like Norbert said you won't know unless your try them. However there is a high change that they will. Also read the Michael Mahoney HT thread I posted today in regards to this.







This is general on IBS and HT.if you have any questions just ask and no problem. I have some 1000 bookmarks on IBS and related material.this is relaxation in general. These are from a top IBS research center. http://www.med.unc.edu/medicine/fgidc/relax.htm http://www.med.unc.edu/medicine/fgidc/hypnosis.htm Hope that helps and welcome to the CBT/HT forum.







Like I said also we will help you out if you do them or not and also answer to the best of our abilities any questions on IBS or anything. It is very complex and takes a while to learn.


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## Feisty (Aug 14, 2000)

Thanks to both of you! I've been waiting by the computer (actually cleaning the room while I anxiously (I know, I know---anxiety again) waited in hopes of a reply.) I know what your saying about what damage is done is done. It's all the other stuff combined in with it that makes each day a real trial.The tapes----one other problem. I have a severe hearing loss requiring powerful aids to help me hear what little I can still hear. Without them---the world is silent. I can't possibly sleep with those hard ear molds in my ears or the hearing aids behind the ears----they feel rock hard and the feedback is terrible. I know I will not be able to hear Mike's voice on those tapes even at the highest volume setting on the player. I will have to look and see if I can find something that would be hearing aid compatible, but then, there will be no relaxing and sleeping if I have to have those hearing aids on. Frustrating. Any suggestions?Thanks, both of you.Karen


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## eric (Jul 8, 1999)

I would ask Mike about this, but if you can hear the player without headphones and be able to do it in the morrning or afternoon or something that might work. I am however perhaps not as fimilar with what could work out for you as much as Mike would be perhaps. Are you able to hear TV?


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## Feisty (Aug 14, 2000)

Yep, I can hear the T.V. IF I turn my volume control up (it's the "understanding what they're saying part that's the worst). I will also try to get in touch with my audiologist and see if she can "program" the aids so that I would be able to hear with headphones if I would absolutely have to. Unfortunately, it's those soft, soothing sounds and voices that these ears of mine don't want to hear anymore. Perhaps that's part of why the hypnosis didn't work for me before. I can remember starting to relax some, but then her voice would get so soft that I would concentrate so hard on trying to hear her that I finally would just pipe up and say---this won't work if you don't speak up so I can hear you. I know softer sounds are relaxing, but when you can't hear them....... And that was with my hearing aids in. But, I do have different ones now and I can actually hear the Baltimore Oriole sing some of it's song and hear the Cardinal, too! And---slicing an onion or celery, etc.-----I never knew people heard those sounds of crunching---I could only feel them through the knife!! Needless to say I have a lot of catching up to do---I'm going to be 53 in a couple of days and I feel like I've missed out on life.Whew! Felt good to say that, but makes me cry, too. It's frustration. Yup, and anger is in there too. Whoa, I need management, desperately!


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## Feisty (Aug 14, 2000)

How do I get in tough with Mike?


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## JeanG (Oct 20, 1999)

Dear Feisty:I am here at work and at someone else's terminal, so I can't say much. I just wanted to say to please not to worry about what happened here. I think we all knew you hadn't had a chance to read up on the material on the forum. And I apologize about being curt with you.I'm terribly sorry about all of your health problems. You have a lot more going on than most of us, I think.I've got to sign off here before someone sees me. Take care! JeanG


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## Feisty (Aug 14, 2000)

Whoops! I meant---How to I get IN TOUCH with Mike? Gosh, just one letter can throw the whole thing off!! Sorry!


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## cookies4marilyn (Jun 30, 2000)

Hi Karen,First, let me say thank you for your kind words of apology. We are all just here trying to help each other out, and when you are hurting sometimes things get a little goofy, I certainly know what that is like, so don't worry about it.Take care,







~ Marilyn


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## LML (Jul 17, 2001)

FiestyI do so feel for you, and yet your "name" indicates that you don't give up. That's great! Do you perhaps have a portable player on which you can adjust the trebel and bass? Maybe through those adjustments you could make the tapes audible to you. I sometimes play my tapes on such a little player upon retiring (rather than use the earphones) and they put my husband to sleep in just minutes. Or your audiologist may have another suggestion. In any case, I do think you'd enjoy the tapes and that they'd at the very least help you be able to relax. For me that wast the first step. I wish you all the best.


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## cookies4marilyn (Jun 30, 2000)

Karen, We must have posted at the same time.You can email Mike at:TimeLineServices###aol.comHang in there, and sending you (((HUGS))) ~ Marilyn


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## eric (Jul 8, 1999)

There you go fiesty hopefully help is on the way and will help with other non related HT issues if we can be of assistance. Another thing you should do is buy DR Bolen's book, a moderator on the bb here and that can help using a cbt approach to IBS."Breaking the Bonds of irritable bowel syndrome."The book can help you work through issues in IBS. http://www.irritablebowel.net/ hope that helps also.


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## Guest (Jun 25, 2002)

Feisty... it was very nice of you to post an apology here. I am sure that no one harbors a grudge against you for saying what you felt. We all need to do that sometimes. Thank you so very much for your support....







Did you decide if you are coming to ChaliceStream to watch the dance concert? If not, I'll try to talk the hubby into stopping by Green Bay on our way over to Door County next month. We'll talk


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## norbert46 (Feb 20, 2001)

Feisty, I have been away for a while and don't know what you were apologizing for and I really don't want to go back and find out. We have all come here hurting,frustrated and in pain with a desparate need for help and relief. As you are seeing there are some very knowledgeable and totally caring folks here in Eric,Marilyn, Mike and others of us who want to see you feeling as well as possible. My earlier suggestion about the headphones was just relating my experiences and what works best for me and I didn't know anything about your hearing problem. Listening in whatever way you are able is what can work for you and maybe you will be better just using a boom box with loud enough volume. I also think Eric's suggestion about Dr.Bolen's book would be very helpful! Best wishes, Norb


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## Feisty (Aug 14, 2000)

Hmmmmm........may consider the book. Checked into it some. I just ordered and received the book by Heather Van Vorous----"Eating for IBS". I've read some of it, but with the nasal surgery I had to have this past week, I sort of drifted in and out of it---know what I mean?! Does anyone know if her book is a lot like Dr. Bolen's book? I'd hate to invest in two books that would tell me basically the same things. I mentioned it to my Colon Surgeon and although he had not heard of the book, he thought it sounded like a good one, so I ordered it. Now I learn about this other one!ArtSpirit---I felt extremely guilty after rereading and then checking out some of the links and then I reread what I wrote and I thought, oh boy! I think I came on way too strong for something I didn't know enough about to comment like that. I can't live with myself when I feel I've wronged someone. Like you, I would like a lot of different answers and I hope to get some here. Unfortunately with our financial statis, on top of everything else, I have to be careful and so I want to check things out really well first. I've tried so many different things over the years, including alternative medicine, acupuncture, biofeedback, chiropractors, Kinesiology (Splg?), and even magnetic mattress pad and necklace and insoles. The magnets were the last thing I tried and that was a little over a year ago. Lucky for me, the lady I bought them from, found someone else who was interested in buying the mattress pads, quilts, and earrings from me, so I got most of that investment back anyway. A little more in the checkbook!! My husband is so fed up with me and my "complaints and health issues" and whenever I say I'm going to try this or that, he hits the roof!! But he's not the one suffering. He thinks just forgetting about it will make it go away. He doesn't want to talk about it ever. But yet I find out later he mentions all the problems to other people and he plays the "poor hubbie", but "concerned hubbie" role. He's very intimidating and I've been told by numerous people through the years that I am an entirely different person when I am with him then when I'm not. It seems I'm always on edge around him. I never say the right things or have my facts straight, etc. etc. Even two intense rounds of marriage counseling over the last 18 years (and we will be married 32 years in a couple of days----I don't even want to celebrate)---a person can only go so far when only one of us goes!! Three "joint sessions" and then some kind of fancy surprise is suppose to make it all go away. He doesn't have a problem---I do. I told him last night he had better get a grip on some things and he said I was the one who has to. It's more like both of us do!! For different reasons and some the same. Financially I'm better off with him right now, but if it remains like it is, with no job in sight for him yet, I just may very well be better off without him. He never wanted me to work. I should stay home with the boys and then when they got older, I became a "jack-of-all-trades for quite a few years---wallpapering for others, babysitting, selling cosmetics, because that was the only way I was ever going to get some things for the house and myself. Then I decided when both the boys left for college I was going to put myself through Manicurist school. So, I gave up the babysitting and went to school. Passed with flying colors, took the State Boards and passed and worked for a few months in a salon here in Green Bay. That was at the same time I had the Toxic Colitis bout that almost killed me and the first real indication that "things" were not so right any more. Well, now I know better. I had signs for a long time, but they were slow in coming on. Now it's full-blown. Anyway, for 4 years I had my own Nail and Tanning Salon out of my home (of course). I had to close it permanently due to the Fibro playing havoc with my arms, hands and shoulders. I just couldn't do nails any more and I miss it so much. I finally got to interact with different people almost daily and it was so good for me. Then came the home-bound and severe depression due to a mixture of IBS (no control at all), plus marital stuff. Finally told my Doc I wasn't living any more, I was only existing and I wouldn't exist like this any more. He sent me to this wonderful Colon/Rectal Specialist and Surgeon who found the problems and did what he could to "mend me"; but unfortunately, only so much can be done. And now here I am again. Still working on the depression --some days good, others not. Almost recuperated from that horrible small bowel obstruction in May and the the Nasal surgery last week. Still desperate, still searching, still wondering if anything is worth it any more.Well, I'm going to fill this board and I didn't mean to do that. There's just so many issues.Oh, the nickname Feisty was given to me about 18 years ago when I decided I just couldn't live like I was and I went for counseling. Decided to "come out of my cacoon" and speak out and tell hubbie how I felt, etc., and both the counselor and my girlfriend kidded with me and would call me Feisty---they told me I needed some "fight" to get out of that co-dependent part. Well, hubbie didn't like the "new me" and told me I had a problem and I needed help. And to this day he hates the nickname, because to him it means fighting, etc., ; but to me it means having the courage and strength to stand up for some of #### I've had to take. I use to even have it on my license plate, but not anymore---it's too expensive for personalized plates. He's not physically abusive. It's this mental thing. He's never wrong, but I am always wrong. I never know what I'm talking about or I don't have the facts straight, etc. He can be very rude to me in front of others when he wants to maintain that "upper hand" and monopolize the conversation. So most of the time, I just don't say much and then sometimes he'll stop and in front of everyone ask me why I'm not talking. GGGRRRR!!! So embarrassing. Most people do see it I think, but they feel uncomfortable with the situation and so the subject gets changed and it continues on.I've gotta stop. You guys are getting sick of me. One of my many faults according to hubbie. I go on and on and I either whine, complain, or b--ch. I'm never happy. And to that last sentence, he's right. I haven't been happy for a very long time.Oh, ArtSpirt---your question----I will have to see how everything goes and probably won't know until the last minute almost if I can come for the performance. I would very much like to see this Modern Dance Performance that you and the others put on. It just may be my chance to get away. I will try hard.Thanks again, everyone!I will look into some more of the info given to me and let you know what I find out or decide.


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## Feisty (Aug 14, 2000)

I found Mike's website and have put in an e-mail to him with a zillions questions. He'll probably have to use and 8 day week just to answer them.







My son suggested perhaps a portable CD player over a cassete player due to the fact that CD's sound slightly clearer and itmay help me hear and clarify the sounds better.Still waiting to hear from the audiologist on her input.Hopefully I can "bum" a little later today and check out the portable CD players!


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## Feisty (Aug 14, 2000)

Another question.This is going to sound really dumb....







Everyone's talking about falling asleep listening to the tapes. And I take it the mah=jority of you are listening to them at bedtime, right? Well, when the tape is done, do you just let your tape player automatically sut off and continue to sleep through the night, or do you wake up enough to take those awful headphones off and then easily fall back to sleep?


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## LML (Jul 17, 2001)

FiestyNot a dumb question at all. I usually <wake up enough to take those awful headphones off and then easily fall back to sleep.> And I use the CDs rather than the tapes as well because of the slightly better sound quality. Also, I've sometimes listened to them during the afternoon when I've gotten tense or something and they're most helpful. And a couple of times I'velistened during the day and again at night.


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## Feisty (Aug 14, 2000)

Thanks LML,Just heading out the door to check out the CD players (portable) at Best Buy. Would be nice to have one to use when I walk, too.Heard back from Mike's office and he's out for the day, but will review my questions, etc., in a day or so and get back to me. Couldn't find him at first!!! I'm new at this computer searching stuff and it's almost laughable, but I'm learning. Or am I getting too old?! (turning 53 in, oh gosh, just a couple of days---not good.) Sagging and bagging, ya know?!


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## cookies4marilyn (Jun 30, 2000)

Hi Karen,I just replied to your pm. Hope you see this, Get a CD player that has the option of playing one track then stopping automatically. Then if you fall asleep, no worries. And as mentioned, no problem with doing them during the day, whatever time is best for you, though Mike says to try and keep the time as consistent as you can if it is possible to do so.Also, I would like to add this as well. When I first did the sessions, like you, I had many other concerns I was dealing with, several surgeries, newly divorced, and other issues. Mike has said that the subconsious mind will deal with the most pressing issues first, and so your IBS may be dealt with, but also, the other issues are sorted out so you can cope as well. This happened to me, so I am just letting you know, that with the many issues you are facing, this may be a factor to be aware of... but, no worries, because it is all positive and growing to be a better you.Blessings, and take care. Oh, and in advance of the upcoming day..... have a very...




























Whhoo!!!!


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## trbell (Nov 1, 2000)

Mike can be found through the ask the experts link that comes up in the upper middle of some form pages.tom


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## Feisty (Aug 14, 2000)

Thanks Marilyn and Tom,Well, the CD Player will go back because it doesn't have the automatic shut-off--not as far as I can see anyway. I'll do some further checking tomorrow.Thanks for the Birthday wishes. (It's offically on Friday, but I don't plan on doing any celebrating).Tom, Thank you, too. I'm learning little by little how to track someone down!!


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