# I need help



## marleyma (Aug 13, 2014)

I felt like I just had to say this to someone.. so here it goes.
I am so f-ing tired if this life. I push myself through work each week just so I can cleanse over the weekend then repeat. Every week that goes by I get more depressed and when I try to voice this no one seems to really hear me or get the severity of it. I just don't want to live. I know there is a chance I could somehow get things figured out and feel ok, but after almost a decade of this I just don't even care. Death seems comforting to me and I just.. don't know what to do anymore. I want help, I go to these Dr's and nothing is changing. Where do I turn? Someone please help me.


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## annie7 (Aug 16, 2002)

oh marleyma i am so sorry you are going through all this.

oh yes--it's all so hard--so very hard--especially when it goes on for years and years. i know from experience. it's very draining and sometimes we start to lose hope. i've felt the same way--taking all the laxatives like i was and there was just no end to it.

and you're right--no one really understands the misery of it all unless they themselves suffer from it too.

i'm sorry i really don't know what to say or do that can really help much . there is research going on and there are new constipation meds in the pipeline --like plecanatide, which sounds very promising. so there's always hope--that's what i used to tell myself.

i do wish you could somehow find a better gastro doc. at least the two gastros i had were understanding and did all they could to help me.

i do wish i could help you--i wish there was something i could do-- but i guess all i can really do is just listen--PM me if you ever want to talk. sending hugs and hope....


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## Kane the Undertaker (Feb 15, 2016)

I know exactly how you feel , every week I deal with the same nonsense , it`s getting very tiring .


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## marleyma (Aug 13, 2014)

Thank you both for reaching out. It really is crazy the amount of emotional distress this can cause. Some days I am fine (when my mind is busy) then on days when I'm forced to deal with things it's a quick reminder that I'm not normal, my body is not normal, I don't know what to do about it and drs DEFINITELY don't know what to do. I think it's just the fact that there is no plan except just dealing. It's hard to accept. It makes me feel extremely lonely and question all relationships I have with people because no one seems to care but then again I don't know what they could do to help anyway. My kind is in a better place today and I guess that's all I can hope for right now. One minute at a time..

Happy mothers day to all the mommys out there


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## annie7 (Aug 16, 2002)

Hi Marleyma so glad your mind is in a better place today. and yes you are sure right---one minute at a time. that's what we do. and we deal with it as best we can, one step at a time, one minute at a time. and we don't beat ourselves up for having a bad day because bad days are only natural when one has to struggle with chronic health problems.

one thing we do have is strength. just getting through one day at a time takes tremendous strength. give yourself credit for that.

it's so hard having an invisible disease/health problem like this. we don't "look sick" so other people don't understand how miserable we feel and how hard it is just to cope. and that makes us feel alone.

but you always have us, here on the board...


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