# Ok, this is really annoying!



## Girl (Jun 19, 2006)

A few minutes ago I went down stairs.. and my mom talked with my sister about people who have a lot of endurance.. so she said that my sister has more endurance then I, I am not little kid or something but I didn't know what to think, it seems that they don't REALLY understand that I have IBS at all, or not to say.. that I suffer?? cuz right now what that I have, this is not call Life.I am pissed off that my sister said "You told yourself that you have the Ibs" nothing else to add here, just unbelievable.. I told her, one day in my shoes.. you will be you know where.. in the "madhouse" I hope that I don't offended anyone here with this comment, I was so pissed off! I am sick of hearing their comments, they are not suffer from the IBS, and they're not everyday struggling just to go on the bus, like any other normal human-being, they can eat whatever they want, and I always looking on them and wondering wow wish I could eat whatever I want, but I can't and many other things.I am just waiting for my moment to be normal again, then they will say whatever they want, I won't mind.


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## Cherrie (Sep 1, 2006)

Hi, Girl, {{{ HUGS }}}I'm so sorry your mom and sister are not understanding. I totally feel your pain. It is really annoying when we hear people's insensitive comments all the time. Maybe you could have your dr talk to your mom and make her understand that IBS is a real illness? Sigh, people should show much more compassion to us...HUGS again and hope you find a way to make them understand.


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## evulienka (Jan 12, 2007)

Hey Girl,I´m sorry that you´re going through such difficult times with your family. You know, sometimes I feel the same way, I know that my parents care about me ...but they don´t really know what´s going on with me. Whenever I mention stomach pains or some IBS related problems they just say - oh, your such a labile ( nervous, stressful) person, that´s why you always have stomach issues. So I know what it fells like and I´m sorry you´re having similar problems . It´s definitely not fair from them to say that you´re less endurance. Once you have health issues and they are real, not just something you´re making up to get attention.


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## Girl (Jun 19, 2006)

I tell them a lot of time, that in the moment they will talk to other people who suffer from Ibs, then they will understand, but they don't want to hear about it and only know to say that I am the one who don't want to listen and blah blah that I am just talking about the disease all the day.Yeah cuz I want to be healthy again, heck, they don't want to understand this.I told them today that one doc said to one Ibser, that this Ibs can make one to "go off the rails"and again, they said like "I don't want to hear about it, stop to talk about this".I'm trying hard to keep it inside of me, I must not to talk to them about this problem, I will try not to talk about this problem to them, they won't understand it.


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## Brittney81888 (Aug 9, 2007)

I strongly recommend you make a doc appointment with a gastrointestinologist, that way they can't say "you told yourself....." and then once they understand, you can get on your way to getting help. Also, family counseling really helps.


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## firstone (Jul 21, 2007)

It seems to me that your family do not want to accept that you have IBS. I know some people react differently when it comes to hard to admit reality, just like a family member refusing to accept another family member could die from a disease. But that doesnt mean they dont love you or anything. Specially with IBS, people who dont have any experience with it just dont know what it is and how painful and emotionally draining this is. They dont understand that your sensitivy level goes up even more because you cant function like a normal person anymore... If you can talk openly with your family about negative comments around you, that would be the best thing to do in my opinion..I know it sucks that you have to deal with other bullsh't when you going through this...


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## Nikki (Jul 11, 2000)

Check out the links at the top of this forum (the sticky topics) there shold be one from Molly's brochure there in one of them.Print that out and give it to them- they'll learn.


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## Nikki (Jul 11, 2000)

In fact- here it is for you.Here is a version you can download and print out: http://www.ibsgroup.org/brochures/Aboutibs.pdfHere it is copied here for you to read now:Written by "Molly" a member of the IBS Self Help and Support Group Forums. What IBS Is Not: When my doctor informed me that I had IBS I thought all my problems were over. At last! There was an actual reason why I was experiencing all those miserable symptoms. Symptoms that ranged from inconveniencing to incapacitating. Symptoms that didn't follow any rules and could pop up at any time of day to throw a monkey wrench in a plan, or ruin a social event. Well, all those icky medical tests were worth it because the mystery was over. Let the curing begin! Then I asked my doctor what IBS was. He told me it stood for Irritable Bowel Syndrome. "How exciting", I said. "And what is that exactly?" He said, "IBS is a functional bowel disorder of the gastrointestinal (GI) tract, characterized by abdominal pain and alterations in diarrhea and/or constipation." A diagnosis of IBS has been reported by 10 to 20% of adults and symptoms of IBS obvious thought, "If they can't figure out what's are responsible for over 3 million yearly visits to physicians. Research suggests that IBS is one of the most common functional GI disorders. IBS exhibits a predominance in women, representing over 70% of IBS sufferers. Irritable Bowel Syndrome is the catch-all diagnosis that is given to people who are experiencing symptoms, usually chronic, with their gastro-intestinal system that are not being caused by a known GI condition or disease. A large percentage of people who suffer from IBS have found that they can't cure it, or make it go away. The best they can do is make changes, through trial and error, in their diets and lifestyle to tone down the symptoms as much as possible. Now, you're probably thinking, "Ooooh, I want to hear the details of those symptoms about a much as I want to hear my mother describe going into labor with me." Relax. We want to tell you the details of our symptoms about as much as we want to hear your mother describe going into labor with you. This brochure is not about IBS symptoms, it's about how living with these symptoms impacts a person's life. Besides, there isn't enough room in this brochure. Two people who have both been diagnosed with IBS could be experiencing symptoms that are exactly the opposite from each other. One of them might only be able to eat certain types of foods that, if the other person ate them, would trigger a severe IBS attack. One of the frustrations and dangers of having IBS is that whenever you get advice, there's a real chance that it could be bad advice for you. IBS is not a true diagnosis, it's a catch-all term the medical community uses when they've ruled out everything else. And it really should stand for, "I'm Basically Stumped". What This Brochure Is? One thing that most IBS sufferers have in common is that it's hard to communicate to the people in their life about what it's like to live with IBS. There are several reasons for this. First of all, talking about problems with your GI system is socially taboo. I mean, yuck! It's a topic you'd associate with an infantile comedy routine, not with a conversation between two coworkers, or two people out on a first date. Secondly, like many chronic conditions, it changes how a person gets through their day. It makes simple daily routines, like going to the bathroom, or ordering food, complicated and difficult. And different. And when your day is different from everyone's around you, it can be very isolating and hard to explain. Unfortunately, people with IBS often find that they have to explain over and over again. In restaurants, in the office, on trips, and at home. Because even though 20% of the population suffer from some form of GI difficulty, the other 80% have a mental block about believing that it's really real. Or that it's really as bad as people say; that there's a genuine difference between having a 'bad stomach' for a few days and having a chronic condition that effects your whole life. The Top List of Issues About My IBS This brochure was put together with feedback from the IBS Self Help and Support Group website. A question was posted on the IBS Self Help and Support Group Forums, "What are the top 5 things you wish people who didn't have IBS could understand?" The following list has more than 5 items, but many people listed similar things and agreed with what other people posted. Now, as you read this list please keep in mind, whoever gave you this brochure didn't do it to accuse you of everything on this list. They gave you this brochure to communicate with you the day to day issues of living with IBS. It's an embarrassing condition to describe, and it's a difficult lifestyle to explain. This brochure is a way of helping you to help whoever gave you this brochure find ways to live as normal and uncomplicated lifestyle as possible. To not let IBS run their life, or ruin it. IBS is a high maintenance condition. You can't simply take a pill and make it go away. And it takes a constant effort to keep it from getting worse. Things like questioning a waiter about the ingredients of of every dish or always checking to make sure there is a bathroom nearby may seem like an inconvenience. But they're nothing compared to the inconvenience of triggering an IBS attack because you ate the wrong food, or not being able to get to a bathroom in time. IBS is not temporary. It's not something you get over in a few days or even weeks. You may never get over it. I'm not a picky eater, I just don't want to get sick. Please don't push me to eat foods I have already said "no thanks" to. I know what my stomach can and can't handle. When I'm having an attack, I need space. Please give me my space when I'm in the bathroom. I appreciate your concern, but you can't help, and your hovering just compounds my embarrassment. The rules are always changing. And so are the symptoms. Medicines, or herbs, or a special diet that was helping to keep a person's IBS symptoms toned down may suddenly stop working. New symptoms often appear out of nowhere. Foods that didn't bother a person with IBS for years could suddenly trigger a vicious attack. One of the reasons IBS is so difficult to explain is that it keeps changing. I'm not using ibs as an excuse not to do things. Making plans to go out can be really scary when the symptoms (and the rules) can change at anytime. Please respect that there are times when I can't go out, even if I want to. And please don't look at me funny when I ask if the place we're going has a bathroom. Understand that this condition is completely unpredictable. If we go out together, be prepared for me to run off at any moment to find a bathroom People with ibs don't talk about it too much. There is nothing a person with IBS would love more than to only have to explain their health condition, and their health needs, once and only once. Unfortunately, most people don't get it the first time. Or they think it's just a temporary problem that will go away by next time. And so IBS sufferers find themselves having to bring up the subject the next time. And the next time. People with IBS are not obsessed with their bowels. Have you ever heard of an asthma sufferer who was trying to explain their condition being called 'respiratory obsessed'? And you'd never hear of someone describing their heart condition being called, "cardiovascularly obsessed'. But because our GI systems are such a taboo subject, people who try to explain their GI problems are labeled, 'Bowel obsessed'. And sometimes by their own doctors! IBS is not contagious. I'm not going to make you sick. And if I'm in a relationship with you I still need you to hug me and love me IBS is not 'all in our heads'. It's true that stress can compound the symptoms. But the "all in my head" routine makes us feel like we're being called crazy. Believe us, we're not crazy, we're just not feeling well. There are many IBS symptoms. Some not even related to sitting on the toilet. And for many people with IBS, the symptoms are frequently changing. Don't take my condition personally. Just because I don't want to go out doesn't mean I don't want to spend time with you. I can't always go places where there are no bathrooms, but maybe we could go someplace that does. I can't always help being late. If I'm late, its not because I didn't plan or didn't care, I just can't help it. If I'm not where I said I'd be when I was supposed to, I might be around the corner in the bathroom, but trying to get there. I can't control how often I get sick. And if I wasn't putting in a constant effort to keep my symptoms toned down, I would be getting sick even more often. Please don't make me feel worse than I already do by accusing me of 'Always being sick'. Sometimes, the only thing that helps is space. If I don't feel like being with anybody, that means *anybody*, not just you. It's not funny when you have to live with it everyday. You know, everyone should be able to laugh at themselves, but there is a limit. To quote someone from the IBS Self Help and Support Group Forums: " If I hear another "spastic colon" joke I may totally lose it!" Sometimes the best way to show a little compassion, is to show a little tact. Thanks for Your Understanding Thanks for taking the time to read this brochure and understand what it's like to live with Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Whether you are a family member, friend, or coworker of someone with IBS, your understanding is very important to them. When a person develops IBS, their body becomes a very difficult place to live in. By taking the time to understand IBS, you have helped to make their environment an easier place to live in.


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