# Lonely with IBS



## lilmadam

Hi.I have had IBS for a few months now, and a couple of days ago, I found out that it is getting worse. I have such a strict diet now, im not allowed alcohol, junk food, onions, pulses, bloomed vegetables, wheat, oats barley etc. I got upset at work, because it feels like im the only one with it, and the pain I get makes me scream! Been at the hospital twice with it. Is it just me, or does anyone else feel angry, lonely etc with it?


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## Tummy Problem Girl

I'm 28yrs old and I've had IBS since I was 14 but only officially diagnosed two weeks ago. To be honest it gets better with age because you learn more about yourself and what you can handle and what you cannot. I find mine gets triggered with stress, I used to never be able to keep jobs because I was always panicking and going to the washroom 5 times before going to work which resulted in me calling in sick. I've gotten to that point where if i gotta go to the washroom I gotta go and if they don't understand then thats too bad, I'll look elsewhere for a job. Its very hard and there will be no advice to make you feel better but just stay strong and don't let IBS take over, be in control.


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## Nikki

May I ask why you went to the hospital? What did they do for you when you were there?It does get easier to deal with- at least it has done for me. I am 24 years old now, and fairly stable. When I was 15, i found the symptoms unbearable! Now I just toddle along. You get used to what your body can handle.Keep your pecker up!


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## lilmadam

thanks for the reply guys! I went 2 the hospital before I knew I had IBS, and they stuck some stuff up my....well u kno...and that made me well u kno...and i felt better,they took blood etc, and was home within hours! just annoyin thts all, but my boss has been rely gd abt it,which is a bonus


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## Severely Suffering Snapett

I know how you feel. I was diagnosed a few months ago but I think I have had it for longer, about, 4 years. It's like I'm pushing thge people about away. Especially when I have a massive gas attack or really need the loo I shut people out because being around them makes me feel embarassed and then I worry which makes the symptoms even worse. There are a lot of people who aren't aware of my condition like my teachers and some of my friends. I would like to tell them but I never get the courage. I'm not a very self asured person so its hard to come out with something like that. I have quite an out going friendly personality and like socialising but its like my stomach is always holding me back which frustrates the hell out of me. I wish it would all just go away or I would just disappear.


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## firstone

I get lonely all the time... I think it just comes with it.. I mean when you come from having a loving personality and full of life into a couch potato, it prettty much just crush your spirits... I have my bad moments of pure depression... and some days i have my hopes up... keep hangin in there....


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## JustDrea

Yeah, this illness can get pretty lonely, so I know where you all are coming from....I'm glad to hear from some of you that it gets easier. I just started with the IBS stuff recently, so it's all very new to me. My very close friends know and my boss knows, but I also try to keep it underwraps because-well, it's embarrassing! And I think a lot of people don't understand it....I try to stay positive, and muddle through the bad days as best as I can. I know it can take a big toll on a person emotionally, though....Drea


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## seekingpeace

I can totally sympathize with all of you...I find it very embarrassing to tell most people as well. There are some friends that know, and my family does, but it can be hard to deal at work. I do feel lonely a lot, b/c I get anxious about going out in public. The whole time I think to myself, "What if I don't feel good?" or "What if I need a bathroom and there are lots of people around?" It gets kind of depressing, but I try to do small trips when I run errands, and I'm starting to learn what foods will start the IBS symptoms up. I know I should exercise more, it helps a lot, but I find it hard to find time or motivation most days. Do any of you ever miss work b/c of your IBS?


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## Rumblesinmybelly

This is my first posting ever on the internet, so bear with me I am alittle nervous. I am 27 and was diagnosed with IBS at age 10. Through the years I have had many dr's and now have one who is wonderful but unfortunately has run out of options for me. I take prescriptions and suppliments but most times it doesn't help. I think I will start buying stock in Imodium...I do miss time from work so I was forced to go on FMLA which is sort of a godsend (although it looks bad in the employee file) because it helps ease the stress of missing work or leaving early a little bit. I know how difficult it can be in terms of relationships but it is possible to surround yourself with people who understand your problem and will not make you feel any worse then you already do. My fiance knows all about my "issues" and has truly been the reason I keep going, he knows when to sympathize but also knows when it's time to get me to stop feeling sorry about myself. My friends are the same way, they know the secret code of "We have to go...NOW" and will do whatever they can to help me. I joined this group hoping to find people who go through the same things as me and I don't think I will be dissapointed


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## halfawake45488

seekingpeace said:


> I can totally sympathize with all of you...I find it very embarrassing to tell most people as well. There are some friends that know, and my family does, but it can be hard to deal at work. I do feel lonely a lot, b/c I get anxious about going out in public. The whole time I think to myself, "What if I don't feel good?" or "What if I need a bathroom and there are lots of people around?"


I feel the same way.I feel lonely sometimes, like at the very least I wish people would just understand. Somebody on youtube was taking about their IBS and said it perfectly how I feel, "I don't like having to explain to people every time I meet them why I am the way I am."I'm 17 and it's especially hard trying to explain the situation to high school students. Everyday I skip breakfast and I never eat any lunch at school. People always, pretty much everyday there is somebody else who asks this question, "Why aren't you eating". Sometimes I tell people the truth, but most of the time i'll just say I'm not hungry. That works for a while until everyday for months they never see me eat anything and then they gotta ask "Why don't you ever eat?". I am getting so sick and tired of hearing people ask that and trying to think of a way to explain it. Lots of times i just make up a story too (like a fictional novel sci-fi like story, lol). I think my latest story was I'm an alien and where i come from we don't use food. It's easier telling some stupid story than always putting me on the spotlight. By spotlight i mean the tables at school are big circular tables that hold about 10-12 people and i still sit at them to talk with friends during lunch. All it takes is one person to ask that question, everybody focuses attention on me and then it feels like I'm all of a sudden announcing my problems to the school.I don't mind people knowing that i have ibs, I'd rather have them know then not know. Still, you guys know how it is, it's a personal thing and i don't really feel like announcing it to the world.


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## 16963

I really feel for you guys in high school. Luckily I didn't have IBS in high school, I can't imagine dealing with it where you're so close with less independence. I mean, in college you can skip classes, leave classes, or plan your day for breaks and no one really notices or cares.Anyway, IBS is definitely lonely. I've told a couple people (mainly just my parents, brothers, and 2 of my best friends) but I don't announce it to everyone. It is easier to hang out with my family and those two friends because they'll understand if I say "I have to find a bathroom now" or "we have to leave now," but despite that I still don't tell everyone in the whole world. I think it will alienate people and I also don't want to be the gross girl who craps a lot, you know? I certainly don't want to tell a date "hey, this may be more difficult because I poop suddenly and often" and I don't want everyone to know about my IBS because then they might not take the time to even get to know me enough to know if they want to date me!


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## Exploder

I too kind of get lonely.....I have not been diagnosed by a dr. that I have it but have done researching and all symptoms point to it, I've had this feeling for well over a year and in the past couple months has gotten worse...I use to be outgoing, I'd love to go 4wheeling and adventure through the off-road trails in the explorer its something I love but can't do much of it anymore because in the middle of it my symptoms come rushing to me and its like well I'm ready to go home. And I can't go away with my g/f as much she most of the time lately goes without me which really stinks because driving and racing around was also one of my favorite things to do...It Is Definitely Lonely.


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## J.S

what you guys are saying is EXACTLY how i feel. i am very lonely too, and wonder if this will prevent me from ever finding someone. i don't have much dating experience because of this and now being 23 i feel like i am too old to "get back in the game".


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## progress...

Hi everyone. I'm 27, male, and just recently diagnosed with ibs, though I'm am sure I’ve had it since I was a teenager. My attacks consist generally of sever abdominal pains, gas, constipation and diarrhea (which is always dramatic when it occurs, fun stuff). These bouts, which have been manifesting severely at least once a week for the last six months, and can last several days to a week at a time, and have been generally attributed by my Physicians to stress and anxiety. To make matters worse, I'm usually woken four hours after having gone to sleep with severe, stabbing abdominal pains which can keep me up riling in pain for hours at end. Admittedly, aside from Tylenol, I'm particularly averse to beginning a medicated regiment as I'm opposed to any heavy/regular pharmaceutical use. Since my ibs appears to be anxiety driven I’ve made a few decisive changes in my life which seem to be helping and I thought I would share them. Hopefully some of these related experiences will be of help and comfort to suffers of all ages. My heart goes out to everyone working through this affliction. It sucks, but, “what doesn’t kill you”… as they say. 1.)	Join a gym. Contrary to what I expected, exercise really helps, even when I'm in a lot of pain it seems to quickly alleviate shortly after beginning a workout routine. I focus on what im doing, listen to music, and try desperately not to focus on the physical discomforts. No one knows me or cares what I’m doing at the gym. I can go to the bathroom whenever necessary and I’ve quickly gotten over the anxiety of “everyone is watching me”… they aren’t. And, as a secondary benefit, I'm now in great shape, so that helps with social anxiety issues! If I'm having a lot of gas I try to sneak out at an odd hour when there will be plenty of room for me to exercise in a quiet corner. 2.)	Don’t blink when anyone asks “what’s wrong?” When anyone ask about any of my random ibs behavior I simply say, without hesitation or the slightest shame “I have a condition that affects my digestive track. It produces a lot of sudden pains, sometime seizures, which is why I have to excuse myself for air (code for bathroom) or the bathroom because of nausea. There is no cure and they don’t really know what causes it. Its no big deal its just something I have to deal with and it’s a personally difficult affliction.” No one has ever questioned that and the more serious I answer the more they respond with dignified concern. The only insensitivity Ive encountered is when people laugh it off because they claim “its all in my head”… which may or may not be true (in my case) but is irrelevant because the pain and suffering is real. So sometimes when I explain my ibs I play down or omit the anxiety element. I don’t feel I'm lying and once the other person is clearly ok with what’s going on there isn’t really any further weirdness between us.3.)	If I have to be somewhere, I bring whatever medication makes me feel secure. (Tylenol/Immodium in my case) Often, feeling like this wont be, or doesn’t have to be a disaster greatly helps avert any sudden onsets. 4.)	Talk to a shrink. My anxiety, insecurity, and general issues were here before my ibs. Speaking to a therapist about what was going on before all this really came to a head has helped me begin sorting “sources of provocation” as I’ve come to refer to them. I'm hoping that in time slowly exercising my mental health (so to speak) will help be the first catalyst in reclaiming my life from ibs. If it comes to it, antidepressants might be a course of action for a while. I'm personally trying to avoid any long term medication treatments, buts it’s always an option.5.)	Tell your friends. They are your friends; if you can’t be completely comfortable around them why call them a friend? Although I'm still working on dealing with business meetings and being out alone, when I hang out with my friends my ibs is almost never present. They are a network of people who care for me, will cover for me, and have no judgments about what I’m dealing with. Opening up to them was the first thing I did and I cant be happier about that decision.6.)	Lastly, for now: don’t spyche yourself out when it comes to your sex life. Intercourse hasn’t proven at all problematic, its always the lead up that is challenging. The more anxious I get about “what could happen” the more I sense an ibs attack coming on. I’ve found initially focusing entirely on my partner helps me get my mind of off me, and then once you’re in it (no pun intended) most other anxieties just dissipate. Like dealing with sexual dysfunction or other potentially embarrassing afflictions, talking candidly and without alarmism with your partner about your concerns and condition is always a good idea and an alleviation of anxiety. If your partner is turned off by it or uncomfortable then that may just not be a compatible person for you… which is a rather common conclusion in a lot of other situations anyway. Don’t worry that’s not ibs’s fault. ;-)For now this is all I’ve got. I'm trying to stay vigilantly upbeat and really exert as much willpower over this as possible, that is without ever denying the situation. I really hope some of this is useful to someone out there. Perhaps my ibs is something that will never go away, but I’m here, and I’ve got a life to get back to and I refuse to give that up!All the best to everyone.


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## GAVIN DERRY N IRELAND

Hi everyone i also get lonely its another symtom of ibs that we have to live with,the gym has also helped for me it keeps ur mind occupied also agreat stress reliever its also great for getting out the house and meeting new people and girls go to the gym good craic times.Its better than having to drink alcohol to socialise and suffering for days after.Its just understanding this condition what u can do and can,t do ontil someone comes up with a cure in the near future.Good luck everyone hold in there.


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## Steveo

I was diagnosed little over aweek ago with IBS after 3 months of having terrible symptoms. I am going to tell you that I now fell 60% better because of one thing I decided to try and eat to make myself better. It was recommended to me that after I was diagnosed with IBS by the hospital that I follow up with a Gastroemterologist which I did not want to do right away. I guess I was reading about all of the things they do but none of them really help anyone. So I took some time to think about it and remember thinking about eating yogurt to try and regulate my system again. I then went out and bought 2 packages of Dannon Activia and started eating it like they say to do one a day for 2 weeks. I have to tell you that it has been 7 days and all of my symptoms have reduced about 60% of what they were. I am hoping that if I eat one more weeks worth that they will go away all together. I really beleive that this is helping regulate my system because I do beleive that my system is out of balance to begin with. I also do feel that the good bacteria that is being placed in my system by eating this is truely working. I will let you know how the 2nd week works out for me. Good luck. Oh yes I forgot to mention that I have supressed all alcohol and now get plenty of rest. I also do not take any medications as I feel all of this cannot help with IBS.


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## IvoryFingers

lynnie said:


> I really feel for you guys in high school. Luckily I didn't have IBS in high school, I can't imagine dealing with it where you're so close with less independence. I mean, in college you can skip classes, leave classes, or plan your day for breaks and no one really notices or cares.Anyway, IBS is definitely lonely. I've told a couple people (mainly just my parents, brothers, and 2 of my best friends) but I don't announce it to everyone. It is easier to hang out with my family and those two friends because they'll understand if I say "I have to find a bathroom now" or "we have to leave now," but despite that I still don't tell everyone in the whole world. I think it will alienate people and I also don't want to be the gross girl who craps a lot, you know? I certainly don't want to tell a date "hey, this may be more difficult because I poop suddenly and often" and I don't want everyone to know about my IBS because then they might not take the time to even get to know me enough to know if they want to date me!


I guess I'm exactly the opposite. When I was in high school, I would keep it a secret from everyone. I told my best friends occasionally when I'd get nauseous and vomit that it was because I had been constipated for so long, but we never really discussed it. Now I tend to tell EVERYONE how my bowels are doing. Surprisingly, I haven't lost any friends over it. Most of my friends will even ask me how the bowels are doing and tell me about all their most unpleasant problems. I think most people enjoy knowing that I won't judge them no matter what they tell me because of all the information I've shared with them. It's just so much easier to function when you don't have to be shy about saying "Hey, I haven't pooped in a week, so I'm going to need to take it easy today". The only people I've alienated so far are people I'd rather not be around, anyway.


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## 911

i feel the same way, lonely all the time.Im 17 and im home tutored instead of going to school because i cant handle the pain and the noises in class. It caused me to drop out of drivers ed so im the only one of my friends without a license and actually this saturday im going to a 5 hour course and im so nervous to sit there for 5 hours but thats not on topic! I feel so distant from all my friends because i dont like to go out if its gonna be someplace quiet or more important with guys i like because im so embarassed, but its nice to be here knowing im not alone =)


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## outdoors geek

Hey.I've had if for four years but only after it got really bad (I couldn't eat anything) in year three did I finally go to see a doctor. Originally after modifying my diet I got really depressed and I won't bore you with all the little details. Anyways, I've adjusted somewhat, bringing safe food to my friends parties, and experimenting with eating out, and I still miss certian food (milk after having a cookie for example). My friends are really good about it, which helps. Some of my family is good with it, some aren't. I get sad when I watch or see an advertisement about food or something that I can't really enjoy. And it fluctuates, sometimes I'm okay with it, then other times I see people on campus that can just line up and buy poutine and don't half to hike half a mile to get easy to eat food. Having this website helps a lot too, as it reminds me I'm not alone. Maybe one day I'll meet someone with IBS (I'm sure I have met someone with it given how common it is, but to actually 'meet' someone with it) and do IBS friendly stuff. To actually know someone with IBS in person that would understand and I could talk with would be awesome. Hang in there.


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