# HELP! My Friends



## Tamera (Apr 18, 2004)

Ok I want to tell my friends I have IBS. I've told them before but I don't think they really understand it and I think they forget I even have any kinds of stomach problems. Maybe they just choose not to talk about it. Ok help me how should I approach them about IBS. This is going to be so embarrasing.


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## Nikki (Jul 11, 2000)

Check out the help for IBS thread i stickied to the top of the messages. Molly's brochure should be there for you to print out.Nikki


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## erin5983 (Mar 25, 2003)

It's embarrassing. The only reason I've told some of my friends is because they live with me, and were bound to notice how much time I spend in the bathroom. I try to joke about it a lot of the time, but I don't know the extent they understand it. My boyfriend knows more because he has a very sensitive stomach and was more understanding about it. So we sort of deal with it together.There's no easy way to tell your friends because it's often seen as being "gross." I prefer to say I have a "sensitive stomach," and I think a lot of my friends think I just get nauseasted easily. Which is okay with me, I suppose.


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## CatLuvr (Aug 25, 2004)

Well, I was totally embarrassed to tell any of my friends. Mainly because I wasn't sure how they would react. I told one of my best friends by sending her an email with Molly's Brochure for people without IBS, and she let my other best friend know (who happens to live 2 states away). My other best friend (the one out of state) called me right away and told me that she knew and wished I'd have told her sooner. So it all worked out. They were really cool. However, i tried to tell my other friend (who's a guy), and he just totally embarrassed me. I started out by saying that I have a "functional disease" and he said, in a joking manner, that i should be glad it's not IBS! I just giggled and said yah, pretending that it wasnt IBS, but I wanted to die. You just have to be careful who you tell. Definately tell your very close friends too, and maybe your employers, just so they know.


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## sisu1308 (Sep 27, 2004)

I always tell my employers and my close friends know. They actually are great about it. Tell your friends it's not life threatning and can be frustrating. Tell them if there is anything they can do to support you. When I was in college my best friend came over with soup and tea just to spend time with me. My friends are 100% supportive and understand when I'm quiet and in pain.


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## kschultz (Jul 8, 2004)

I tell people I have a "digestive condition" that cause me problems from time to time, and if they want to know more, they will ask. The phrase "sometimes things just go straight through me" for IBS-D'ers "stop me right up" if you are IBS-C is a less graphic way of describing your condition."Condition" I think makes them realise there is a bit more to it without sounding too dramatic. I am always suprised by the response, people will come out with "oh, you have IBS ?" or "I have GERD" or they know someone else with it ... or they are just really sympathetic. Basically letting you know they think it's no big deal and they are just thankful they don't have it !


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## smw17 (Sep 27, 2004)

I am pretty new to IBS being diagnosed less than a year ago. I have lost friends that could not understand the situation. However, I have found that those I told and didn't totally understand, but still stuck by me were my true friends and we are closer now. I wish you luck and I hope it goes smoothly. Just remember that your health is what matters and those who are your friends will understand or at least try to understand. I have tried to only tell those who are closest to me all the details. Those I don't know so well, I tell that I have stomach problems.


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## kilmer (Oct 27, 2004)

So many questions on these forums asking how to tell your friends. I don't get it.I'm a guy and i say it straight out. I have IBS and its a pain in the ass. ...hmm, yeah pun intended i guess. lol.Now i'm sure a lot of you are thinking 'ok, but guys are nasty to begin with, for girls its different'.If you think you'll be embarassed to tell your friends about an intestinal disorder you have, I'll clue you in. They're not you're friends.Or you're simply too paranoid.Quite frankly, when someone tells someone of a condition they have, the first thing they think of is the following: "Wow, that sucks. Welp, glad i dont have it!". In other words. Nobody cares.Why are people so self conscious?


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## Tamera (Apr 18, 2004)

Ok you don't understand kilmer. And yes you are right of course girls will be a lot more embarassed about having IBS because you know our society. Girls aren't supposed to be gross. Not saying that if a guy had it it would be easy for him to tell people, but c'mon a girl is gonna be a lot more embarassed. You don't understand.


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## kschultz (Jul 8, 2004)

I think it depends on the girl. I have met shy guys, and girls.It also depends on upbringing. We were brought up to be direct and treat life as a matter of fact, not a drama or a secret.So I am perfectly comfortable telling people as much as they can stand to hear about my condition ! I do respect for their possible "squeamishness" by using phrases like "when I have to go, I have to go" or "I'm having a bad day today" instead of "I can't get off the loo for pooing".It just takes adjustment to realise everyone has bodily functions and the more we talk about it the less "taboo" the subject will be.


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## eucg10 (Oct 25, 2004)

I've had trouble talking to my friends about this because I find it uncomfortable talking about IBS. But with my closest friends I have been able to tell them and they are always asking how I'm feeling and they try to understand and make sure I feel okay. But when it comes to telling those friends that aren't close friends it's not as easy because talking about stuff like this makes me really self-concious and embarassed. I can't help it, I'm a girl.


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## ETownChick (Nov 24, 2004)

I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease two days before I started college. Two weeks later I was in the hospital and sent home taking almost 30 pills a day. My friends were very understanding about the whole situation. They saw how much pain I had been in and that the medications I am on are making me better. Everyday they learn something new about my IBD, because when I learn something new I tell them. They even check up on me to make sure I took my pills. I guess it all depends on how close you are with your friends and how bad you can get when your IBD acts up. My friends have seen me at my worse in the hopital at 2am, so I feel I can tell them anything.


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## laustic (Nov 23, 2004)

I was just recently diagnosed with IBS and was absolutely determined not to tell anyone about it. But I went out with a friend and we got on the subject of therapy and anti-depressants and danced around the subject for a while, until she came out and told me she had IBS. And I just went a little nuts right then and there and started laughing hysterically, because it was just such a bizarre situation: neither of us wanting to say it and both of us having it. And we talked about it all night. She told me about some medication she found useful and I told her about this group, and it was such a relief to not only know that I'm not the only one out there, because I get that from this group, from my therapist, from the literature, but to just be honest with a person I've known most of my life. And I think after that experience, I'm ready to tell other people in my life.


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