# Fear of car rides.



## 19649

I have trouble riding in the car. When I'm the one driving I seem to be better. I think it's cuz I'm the one in control. But when I'm the passenger I always feel like I'm going to have the runs. Now my bf wants me to fly out to his house this Aug. so I can meet his mom and then we'd drive back so I can help him move nearer to me. We're divided on this because I don't mind flying, but the driving part has me worried. I don't want to feel cruddy for 14 hours straight when I can't even make it without stopping more than once in a 1 hour trip.


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## Fed Up

Yeah that is so wierd! When i feel like I'm the one in control, like you say, I'm fine. Think it's coz you know if u have an attack, you can throw the car into the nearest spot and leg it to the toilet! I find that if someone else is driving, they seem to take forever parking etc....And all the time, I'm saying 'im gonna poo in your car unless you move it!' LOL


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## lxdreamerxl

I hate carrides, too...I'm better when I drive but unfortunately I hate driving...I think for me it's not so much control as it gives me a chance to concentrate on the road and not my stomach.Wow...I think if I could make it onto a plane, a carride should be nothing... Flights don't bother you?


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## 21918

I can identify with all of you on the car ride anxiety. I have a friend who really helped me. She picked me up for a 1 hour car trip to join my husband where he was working one evening. I warned her that I might have to stop, and she was fine with that. I of course was still nervous and mentioned that there may not be a place to stop along the way. She said that's okay she had a bucket in the car for just such occasions. She used it for a waste basket, but it could be pressed into use as a toilet if needed. Somehow I was reassured by its presence and now I have one in my car. I line it with several plastic bags in case I need it, but so far I haven't needed it. Just knowing that I will never be without a toilet seems to be enough. It's funny how we must play mind games with ourselves.







It's even funnier how well they work.


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## 19649

> quote:Originally posted by GracefullyGassy:I hate carrides, too...I'm better when I drive but unfortunately I hate driving...I think for me it's not so much control as it gives me a chance to concentrate on the road and not my stomach.Wow...I think if I could make it onto a plane, a carride should be nothing... Flights don't bother you?


Oh, plane rides mess me up something terrible. My ears ring and my stomach is horrible. But they have a toilet right there if I need it. And I like to look out the window at the tiny cities below. It keeps my mind off things. But as soon as I've landed my system is screwed up for weeks.


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## 16412

I have anxiety induced D and taking Buspar a mild sedative has given me my life back. I tired anti depressants and I could not tollerate them they made me to tired. Buspar is a non-drowsy sedative that does not make you tired and it takes the anxiety away.I suffered unnecessarily for years.Now I don't suffer at all.Getting my anxiety under control with Buspar has done the trick.


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## 14139

Just found this post. Right up my alley.







Car rides make me feel resticted. Especially in traffic and red lights. I like to feel I can move at anytime. I drive everywhere. Its that control thing. I tend to feel better when I travel alone for those "just in case" moments. I have to do alot of prep before I go anywhere. Even those short rides. Somedays a 15-20 min ride feels like eternity. I do alot of different techniques to get thru it. I too have a wastebasket in the car-like the theory. Trash or poo-sounds like a good alternative. Plus I only paid a buck for it. Easy enough to replace if need be. But hope I never use it for anything but trash.Thanks for sharing your stories. Any of you ever pass a car and say to yourself wonder what the other person is thinking in the next car. People look so relaxed to me that I can't imagine anyone else feeling this way. I admire those "normal" people. What I would do to have normal bowels & mind. But there is a reason behind everything. It makes us stronger more sympathetic people.


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## 21918

My husband and I are leaving Wednesday on an overnight flight across the country and then a 2 hour ride in a rented car with my daughter and her husband to attend my son's wedding. It's like every anxiety trigger known to man all rolled up into one trip. I'm praying that my medications and hypnosis CDs won't let me down.







This should be one of the happiest times in my life, but I'm worried about how to get through it all.


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## 14139

Slm,What a wonderful time in your life. Your trip sounds like it could be stressful if you let it. Tell yourself before you leave "I will be fine" and repeat it as many times as possible. The great thing is that the majority of your trip you will be near a restroom. The car ride will be no big deal (keep repeating that to yourself) Worse scenario you have to stop to go to the bathroom. I know you are nervous but you have made it before. This will be no different. Focus on the event itself and how happy you are for your son. I know all these things I am suggesting sound so easy-we all no there not. But I want you to leave w/the most positive attitude possible. I hope you have an IBS free week. Let us know how everything goes. Stay strong and positive.


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## 14285

I thought I was the only one. Like many of you if someone else is driving I am lucky to make it an hour without having to make a pit stop, when I am driving I can usually make it about 3 hours. The thought of a road trip sounds exciting because of all the places I could see, but I wouldn't be able to enjoy myself because I would be worrying where the next rest stop was. Someday I would like to be able to say to my girlfriend, "Hey, we're just going to drive. No particular destination, just drive until we're tired." Hopefully the hypnotherapy I have started will make that possible.Andy


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## 21918

Thanks Jomo! It's great to get such good positive reinforcement.







I'm going to try to feel like a normal person and just enjoy myself. I've had some successful car trips (1-2hr) recently. I'm going to keep them in mind.Andy, I am on day 35 of the IBS Audio program and I think it is helping (that and the Questran.) At least I feel as if I have more control.Wish me luck!!


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## 13922

Thank you - all of you - I am printing these posts and showing my family. They think I have completely lost my mind and don't understand IBS at all. I have car anxiety now and I can only go to work and to the grocery store and my life has become very lonely. Do you think the hypnotherapy really works?


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## 21918

I haven't finished yet, but I'm pinning my hopes on them. I want to be able to do all the things I've shut myself off from and not have to give it a second thought. I usually listen to the CDs with earphones when I go to bed. Most of the time I fall asleep during them, but they still get to your subconscious while you sleep. I choose to believe they will work for me, and I think that helps too.It seemed like a lot of money to spend, but after thinking how much it costs to go to the doctor or buy meds, it seems like a bargain.


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## 13922

For SLM - thanks for the reply. I know what you mean about the cost of treatments. I have spent over $1000. on supplements, acupuncture and behavioral therapy sessions, and I am still feeling like I am at square one. I have refused meds because I don't hear from anyone that they really get to the heart of the matter and I don't like taking chemicals. Please let me know how the CD's are working for you


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## 16412

I have tried everything and medicaton that is non drowsy is what works for me. Buspar has given me my life back.


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## 18553

Piper, you are definately not crazy. I know what it is like. I have a lot of trouble on long car trips. SOmetimes the day before a long car trip I will eat very little, because so many foods set me off. Tell your family you are not alone!


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## Reagan26

You can also try wearing a diaper for car rides. I haven't done that yet but if I were to take a long trip, I definitely would put one on.


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## 14988

This is my life. My family is in NY and I'm in Tx. So one way or another there is a long flight or car ride in my future at any given moment. Love my family to death, but just driving home from the airport with them I feel like I'm on a tightrope. Thinking "just get home just get home just get home" and smiling and making small talk. So exhausting. I can go about 5 hours at a time (long enough to use a tank of gas) if it's just me & my dogs. Add a human to the mix and I'm stopping every 30min. How did my mind/gut become afraid of being alone with people in a car. And buses and subways? Let's hope they never force public transport on us. It's a great idea, but I can't do it.


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## 14416

M&M, I think it's a subconscious thing going on, knowing your dogs arent going to judge you for using the bathroom 50 buzillion times in 2 minutes if you had to. Whereas, there is this stigma with going #2, and someone with IBS going often.. whoaaa watch out, WEIRDO ALERT.I think we all can relate when it comes to being the one who drives. I ALWAYS drive, unless it's with my mom, then she can drive sometimes. But it's that "I'm not in control" feeling that makes it hard for us to accept other people driving.I worry about other peoples driving skills, too, not just IBS. All a control thing.


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## 19282

Yup, IBS has turned me into a control freak, too. I won't let anybody else drive. I even have my own small list of pre-approved friends and family members who I feel comfortable enough with to let ride along in my car.As for air travel, unfortunately the pilots still won't let me into the cockpit to fly the plane.TP


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## SpAsMaN*

> quote: As for air travel, unfortunately the pilots still won't let me into the cockpit to fly the plane.


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## 14139

Yes, it is a control thing-but I think we would all agree it is more about being embarrassed if we went in our pants. If alone no one needs to know-same as being with our pets. I am truly convinced there is something wrong somewhere in our brains, not just our gut. Maybe science will figure out the connection and be able to do something about it. I mean really there are so many people who from time to time have bowel problems, it part of nature, but these same people don't obsess the way we IBS'ers do. Have any of you ever thought-"when did I start thinking differently about my bowels". I know I have. I went from being a normal minded person to completely obsessed with going to the bathroom and of course the more I think about it the more I have to go. Geez this sucks!!!!!!!


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## 19282

Jomo, you hit the nail right on the head. I wasn't always like this, either. I remember the exact moment of the exact day when I started obsessing about always having immediate access to a toilet. I was 21, right out of college and had just started my first real job. One minute I was planning to strike it rich, live the good life, and pretty much conquer the world. The next minute my confidence was shattered and I couldn't stop worrying about the humiliation that I would feel if I didn't make it to the toilet before having an accident. And sure enough, just anticipating those catastrophes became my biggest trigger for my symptoms. It's a diabolical collaboration between my brain and my bowels, I tell you. They're in cahoots, working together, and they've got it in for me. Oh, it sucks all right!


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## 21918

Jomo--Good point. I remember how weird I thought my mother-in-law was--always talking about BMs. She didn't even get online to do it like we do!







At least now we know why my husband can put up with me.


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## lxdreamerxl

I honestly can't remember a time in my life where I wasn't concerned about bathrooms. Which stinks. (Ha..is that a pun of sorts?)The whole thing kinda makes me mad...I mean, people don't understand our situation and think we should do things anyway, but if they felt like we do ONE DAY...even probably one of our good days...they'd be taking off work, cancelling trips and everything else. On a bad day, they'd probably worry they were dying. And we're to just carry on and do things anyway, keeping it hidden how extremely hard it is..Ah ok, BREATHE...sorry had to get that little rant out!!Anyway, my last long carride, I wore a skirt and a pair of older underwear...so if I had an accident I'd lift up my skirt and not really worry about it...haha. I had a garbage bag in my purse too, so I wouldn't ruin the carseat. Haha I didn't have any accidents, so far I never have, but it made me feel better just knowing I had some sort of "plan" if I was stuck in traffic and had to go.


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## 19282

Ah, where would we be without our elaborate contingency plans? We ALWAYS have to be prepared with a well thought out course of action - just in case the S*** hits the fan. I actually did have to use a Hefty trash bag in the back seat of my VW Golf hatchback while parked in a crowded airport parking lot. Thank god I didn't have any passengers in my car that day.


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## 14988

So embarrassing... I had to ruin my little brother's lunch box. I bought him another one & told him I ripped it. I was just caught on the way to work and could not wait. My old boyfriend would tease me about it. Now I think back & think, what a loser to tease me about something so awful.


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## 14988

SilentSS, I agree. I get worked up thinking about it. Total control freak. I know I'm not the best driver, and I even freak out with safe drivers. I'm hoping therapy helps. I'm hoping to use the same idea that helped my back. I had a combo of deep tissue massage and a chiropractor to help both my bones and muscles. I'm hoping the combination of supplement plus therapy will help my IBS. So far I'm falling in love with Metamucil. I used to have bouts of IBS, but didn't realize. I do remember when i started thinking about restrooms. I had an 8am class and usually stayed up until 3 or 4am, so I had to have coffee to stay awake. Around 8:30 I had to run out of class, every day, to use the restroom. I'd try to hold it but it just kept happening, and I'd stand up same time every day in the middle of class & run out. It went on from there & here I am, sometimes at my wit's end. Today is a very good day.


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## 21918

Tomorrow we will be in the car all day travelling 1 1/2 hours away to look for a house to move to. We'll be going from house to house all day with a realtor. My husband said "I suppose you won't ride with him?" I told him I would rather we just meet him at the various locations. I guess I'll dose up on Nortriptyline tonight and imodium, levsin and xanax in the morning and hope and pray for the best. I know I shouldn't get worked up about these things, but it's really a difficult situation for me. Wish me Luck.


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## 14416

If it makes you feel any better I've got an hour drive both ways to a doctors appointment, and i don't really know how to get there!GOOD LUCK!!!!!


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## jeanne2

slmRide in your own car and go to the houses..use the bathrooms in them if you have to(In fact some people recommend it to see how the plumbing works when shopping for a new home-for real)Myself, I think of IBS as my disability and I make accomodations for it..hopefully your husband will understand..it took mine awhile...ha.Sure, it would be nice to say, I'm just going to tough it out etc etc...see how you feel on that day and do what you are comfortable with...life is too short to add even more anxiety to it! We do all we can to live a normal life with IBS-if it means riding in your own car to see new houses-so be it...shouldn't be a big deal at all.(In fact, I can't stand how most people drive..ha)I'll bet once you get to a house and get interested in looking at it, you will find your IBS calms down too.Good luck and happy house hunting.Jeanne


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## 21918

Thanks, Silentsufferer! Wishing you good luck also!


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## 21918

Thanks Jeanne! I'll keep your tips in mind.


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## 21918

Thanks for all of your good wishes. Our house hunting trip went very well. We will go back again tomorrow to see if the RV fits on the RV pad at one house we found. It will be a little easier travelling in the RV. I can take the toilet with me.


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## 14416

glad everything went well with house hunting.and yes, the rv has the "john" included.. so you can be going while your going. pun INTENDED


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## 14988

That's great that your house hunting went well. When I'm letting my mind wander, always dangerous, I have these fantasies (bad ones) where I'll be on some vacation ready to go look at some tropical waterfall, and when I get there, the tour guide will say, "Everyone get into this bus & we will take the hour drive to the top of this mountain to see where the waterfall starts". Aaaaaahhhhh! Then I have the happy ones where I'm walking around and there are port o potties on every corner. I dream of someday being in a hot sweaty van in bumber to bumper traffic for three hours and chatting with the driver about music or the meaning of life. I'm so far from that right now. Congrats on having a nice time. It's really a hurdle to do those types of things like driving around looking at houses.


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## lxdreamerxl

Yes, congrats on a day gone well. I think we all understand how challenging a day full of driving can be.I want an RV so badly! I keep telling my family and my boyfriend that if they really want me to travel and go places, then we should just get one. And they always laugh at me, like I'm joking. I mean, they are all very understanding but I guess they figure garbage bags and holding it in are enough!


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## 21918

It's funny how good it feels to get pats on the back just for riding around all day in the car.







We're not done yet. I don't know how long it will take to find the right place, but until then, I guess my husband can commute.







At least that gives us time to pick the right house and we won't have to settle for a house we would be unhappy in.Marilyn-- I've lived both of your dreams. When we went to Memphis, we had to ride shuttles everywhere. Even to go to Graceland across the street from the ticket booth. Of course, when the shuttle arrived, I had to run back in and use the bathroom while my husband was left waiting in line wondering if I would return in time. I did.







While we were house hunting in a new development where they were building houses, there were portable toilets on each street corner for the builders. I used them too.Gracefully Gassy--With the cost of fuel, I'll bet you could pick up a nice RV for a song!


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## 14988

Hahaha, how funny you should say that slm. I remember driving to Texas with my dad and stopping in graceland. When we went into the mansion, I was thinking, "could I use Elvis's toilet if I had to?"


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## 14988

Vegas is a bit of a wonderland/nightmare as well. All the casinos are so close and there are restrooms all over, but if you want to get more than a 20 minute walk away, you have to take a hot shuttle (I felt like I was trapped in a bubble and unable to breathe), and if you want to see the desert you may as well forget it, no restrooms and all traffic is awful. It's one of my most and least favorite places to go all at the same time.


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## 21918

Marilyn--I actually did use Elvis' toilet--not at Graceland, but at the house he bought on Audubon Street before he bought Graceland. The owner of that house, Mike Freeman gives tours around Memphis in his personal car (YIKES!) We rode all over Memphis with him (about 5 hours and yes, I was sedated). When we toured his house on Audubon, I used the bathroom and thought how cool it was to have used the same toilet Elvis did.







It's still the '50's turquoise color!


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## 14988

Haha, we adore port o potties and famous toilets.


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## 21918

Hey, I'm just happy when there's a toilet (any toilet--hopefully not too dirty) in sight.


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## lxdreamerxl

I'm coming to terms with the fact that I may never visit many famous places over the world like other people, but I do have a very impressive track record of all the many different bathrooms I've been in.


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## 14616

Hi....you hit the nail right on the head as I too have trouble with long road trips. I have been in remission with Ulcerative Colitis but still find that when I go on road trips I get anxious not having access to the washroom...your mind sure does play a part in it. Thank goodness there are a lot of trees and bushes around here...lol..as there are times I am right up there with the bears!! lol


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## 14988

You know I read somewhere, maybe on here, that doberman's are in general nervous dogs, which is good because they listen well and are easy to train, but they get SIBO. I've been thinking, this is a little out there, but my dog is a very nervous guy. I think he gets it from when he was a puppy and we lived in an apartment & I had to take him out on his leash in the dark to go, and I think my nervousness transferred to him, because he, like myself, was always looking in the bushes and into the darkness for some kind of movement. We actually saw a guy staring at us once, who quickly hid behind a tree when I spotted him. My other puppy never got that experience because my fiance was around & we live in a house with a dog door. No nervous late night walks. Anyway, now every time my dog & I go for a walk, the older one poops about 4 times, no matter what time of day. I give myself a little comfort thinking, maybe it runs in the family LOL. Sometimes I wish I could be a dog though. Perfectly acceptable to just squat in the bushes. There's the life.


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## 16032

I feel for the topic poster as I am in the very same situation.When I have to do long car journeys I don't generally get D, but I get VERY bloated, my through get's tight and my stomach feels very tense for pretty much the whole journey. I also get cramps sometimes too.My anxiety is related to a fear of being sick, which I relate to my sister being quite a sickly baby. Any situation where there's a risk of being sick, I stress out. This makes having IBS one big bag of emotions for me. Feeling bloated after a meal, or just the general IBS sensations panic me, which in turn makes my IBS even worse!I'm currently in counselling to try to learn to relax and deal with these demons.


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## 14988

Me too me too. But I do get sick while in the car. Especially as passenger. My least favorite place to be.


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## 18059

Dont ever drive across texas then who ever designed thier highways did not belive in bathrooms the rest stops mostly were a table and maybe some water it took us 3 days just to get out of texas.I have developed an acute fear of driving across bridges and have not driven across one in 3 years, i close my eyes and take about 3 valium just get across them. in Portland or, and in Vancouver we have alot of very high bridges with not very high side rails on them and all I can think about is oh no we are going over, this all started a few years back as I use to go to school in Portland and drive on the bridges all the time, now I just freak my husband out and say a mantra like just get over the bridge about 500 times, also rides to the beach where you have very curvy roads ,I can do them if I drive, this 4th of july I had 3 panic attacks on the way to seaside and one at seaside trying to watch the fireworks the smell and all the people sent me over the bend. on the way home I drank a bottle of wine and took my meds and still had a hard time. But it was better caused we stopped more.I was in a bad car accident 20 years ago and we were on a curvy moutain rd and my friend took the curve to fast we skided and went over an enbankment, the only thing that stopped us was a downed tree. we also had too many people in the car. I hurt my back then and have had phobias about curvy roads and back problems ever since.Also my husband is the one who can't hold it, he has toilet paper in all our cars, and has many accidents, and does not care who sees him on the side of the road.well ta ta for now back to stressed out landmy daughter has a few friends over and can those girls giggle and scream. off to my happy space ,they know me there.


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## 15340

i'm a new member here and i just read your posting and i swear i felt like i was reading something i had written. i feel the same way, i get really nervous and panic stricken while driving. I too tend to be better while i'm the one driving, but my anxiety isn't only reserved to when i'm driving, but also when i'm somewhere where i know a bathroom isn't available. i have yet to find anything to relieve my stress there, but if you should find anything, please let me know.


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## 15340

Have any of you ever thought-"when did I start thinking differently about my bowels". I know I have. I went from being a normal minded person to completely obsessed with going to the bathroom and of course the more I think about it the more I have to go. Geez this sucks!!I could not agree with you more. i try to remember when did this start happening to me, when did i get so consumed by this??? It totally and completely sucks!!


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## 14139

Welcome Kristina,You will probably find alot of things helpful on here. How long have you had IBS? Everyday I wish to be "normal" Its so frustrating and it limits us on what we can do. I hope that you will find something that helps you. Are you C or D or inbetween? Again I wish you the best.


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## 18059

I always have been a high anxiety person and always had stomach aches and would hold my stomach but pretty much lead a normal life would shop and go and meet friends and not have any problems, could go on long car rides and not freak. but I really could'nt tell you when it started with the car rides and the phobias about bridges, cause i use to drive over the bridges at one time not I have a hard time even being a passenger in the car going over bridges.My biggest problems started about 2 years ago when my husband lost his job my ibs kicked in with chuck norris fury.5 trips to the er in two months and it hasn't let up since, I do manage it but my husband has still not found full time work and so my stress has not gone away but i started a new job so maybe it will help to bring in some money of my own.


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## 15894

> quote:Originally posted by rogue:I have trouble riding in the car. When I'm the one driving I seem to be better. I think it's cuz I'm the one in control. But when I'm the passenger I always feel like I'm going to have the runs. Now my bf wants me to fly out to his house this Aug. so I can meet his mom and then we'd drive back so I can help him move nearer to me. We're divided on this because I don't mind flying, but the driving part has me worried. I don't want to feel cruddy for 14 hours straight when I can't even make it without stopping more than once in a 1 hour trip.


I do the same, especially in the back seat. I get all hot and sweaty!..Like you, if I'm driving...All is good!!!


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