# i need a boy's opinion....



## 0_cryingshame_0 (Apr 4, 2003)

I'm about to break up with my boyfriend of a few months. He's annoying. It doesn't really have anything to do with my IBS. But I was just wondering, if I EVER have another relationship, should I tell him about my IBS. I didn't this time, and it was hard to dodge around the issue all the time, but still, I feel like such a gross creature whenever I talk about it....as a boy, what would you think if your girlfriend or a girl was telling you this sort of thing. Would you be disgusted? I'm 15.


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## Kaylis9d9 (Mar 15, 2004)

You would be making a huge mistake trying to avoid it with people... How will you marry someone who does not know about your condition? It puts you under more stress to avoid it and hide, and that will, in turn, cause even more problems... I am 22 and male and have pretty bad IBS... I am engaged and have been for a year and a half now... She knows the problem and deals with it and me on a regular basis... She is supportive, which is exactly what I need. All of my previous girlfriends knew about my problem... in fact, all of my friends, and all of my family do... All new friends will learn about it as well. There is nothing to worry about. IBS isn't the worst problem in the world, you could have much worse. It is a disability, nothing to be ashamed of.


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## azania50 (Feb 24, 2004)

Let me start by saying the only reason I happened to read your post is that I was warning the post below yours about someone using the boards as a sales pitch for their products. However let me offer my opinion:I am a 44 year old man suffering from Crohns for the lsat 6 years. In the last 6 months following my latest attack I have gained 50 pounds, developed a big round moonface because of steroids, and all sorts of other side effects from the drugs.I have also been a real pain to live with and have been moody and selfish from time to time.I am telling you this to make a point. I have a wonderful, supportive wife of 13 years and we have a 3 year old son. In the time we have been married, we have both been through serious illnesses with all the gory symptoms they create. It has made our love for each other stronger and deeper than you can imagine, because we have had to truly be there for the other person.When you meet the next special person in your life , as you will, if they are not supportive of you, and are not comfortable with all the problems IBS causes you, then as you say in your country, "Kick 'em to the kerb" because they are not right for you.


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## lisa_webby (Jun 10, 2002)

hey crying,I can't offer a boy's opinion, sorry! But... I agree with Kaylis. There's no reason you should have to be embarassed or ashamed about having IBS. I started having problems with it in college and my boyfriend knew EVERYTHING, down to the tiniest gross details. My current boyfriend does too - of course I didn't tell him all at once, but little by little the details came out. He actually feels more sorry for me than anything else and tries to help me with the pain, etc. I start by telling people that I have a chronic digestive condition that makes it really hard for me to eat regular food or go to certain kinds of events or whatever. If a guy can't deal with that, then he isn't worth your time!! Good luck.-sailaway


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## scottyswotty (Jun 29, 2000)

you should tell him but make sure you are "going for the right type of guy".There are many different types of guy-teenagers out there. Most, like the "Jock"-type are insensitive and may even laugh or embarass you if they are really immature.There are, however, nicer guys out there. Choose your boyfriend carefully. Go for those that seem like they first and foremost just want to be your friend. Then you should really have no problems telling this person about your condition. just tell him why you are telling him. ie that it imposes limitations on you from time to time and that you cant always go and do this or that.the worst thing you can do is not tell him (assuming you really like him) and then when you cant do this or that, he will think its because you are difficult or are playing mind games. hope this helps.Scott


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## Robbie_UK (Apr 20, 2004)

It REAALLLY depends on the boy! Some boys are so cruel and immature, but if its a nice guy (like me hehe) then there should be no problem watsoever







If you want a meaningful relationship, and if you think he's decent, you can tell him; otherwise, some people are not worth telling. Its a sensetive issue at our age, so just be careful that he's a nice person, and really loves you.


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## WARRAVEN (Mar 11, 2004)

You didn't ask for this, don't feel any guilt. While I cannot say everyone or even someone else of my gender and age would react the same, but I can tell you I would not mind at all(then again I am 17 and never had a relationship, so what do I know?). Not your fault, besides, if someone didn't like you for that fact, would you still want to be with them? Raven


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## theresnopoint (Sep 7, 2003)

I'm female, but I kinda disagree with the majority. I never told any of my boyfriends, and I don't intend to until I find the guy I'm gonna marry. I can make up good excuses to slip away, and I can't eat in front of guys anyways. It's just uncomfortable and I'd rather avoid it. But there is no shame in it, and if u want to u can tell him. Either way works, so good luck


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## BigmadfrogUCSC (Apr 29, 2004)

Hey, I am a 19 year old guy and my vote is for telling your next guy but not telling him everything. You could tell him, "I just sick a lot." or anything else that is truth full but not too much information. At 15 the guys might be a little bit weird about the whole thing but it gets better. Good luck


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## scottyswotty (Jun 29, 2000)

> quote:I'm female, but I kinda disagree with the majority. I never told any of my boyfriends, and I don't intend to until I find the guy I'm gonna marry.


Yikes!! I think "theresnopoint's" email show's that its good you asked for a "boy's" opinion. Unless you are christian and are planning to get married right away, I would not take her advice. IBS will no doubt be such a big component of your daily and weekly life that you will be holding in a pretty big secret. If you're looking to meet someone who you really click with then it will be a lot easier if you tell them of your condition. THat advice would only seem applicable if you're planning on staying single.


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## WARRAVEN (Mar 11, 2004)

I wouldn't necessarily say that, its just another point of view. Besides, I think all information should be welcome, it cannot hurt. Remember, the decision is always yours in the end, maybe you are not looking for someone like that. Raven


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