# out of my mind



## 19596 (Jan 3, 2007)

i think i have finally had enoguh if its not 1 things its another wil try to cut shortibs diagnosed about 1 half prob had for years before colonoscopys endoscopys ct scans all normal just ibsmainly used to be ibsd now d an chad laparoscopy removed bowel to normal blace as had stuck to old c section scar tissue so recovery from this as was las wedbecame worse xmas day since then all the above has been done anxiety sky high on pills for that on antidepressants and ibs tablets and sickness pillsi have now lost 4 stone since xmas which gp classes as dangerous levels sending nurse out to do urgent blood test to check thyroid levels as i am usually underactivei was referered months ago to the community pchciatric nurse for what the call a eating dissorder i seem to have had since xmas becouse of the fear of eating linked to the ibs lady rang today saying she has only just received it so im at the back of the list that has about finished me off as i have panic attacks and agraphobiaby the time the appointment comes il prob be dead as cant live on the tiny amount im eastingi cant afford to pay for thearapy counselling or any fang dangled treatment that might help me as i a on benefits and here in the uk the health service isnt great waiting lists are to long for anythingi cant afford to buy books or get to the libary trying to do it all on my own with the food the more i try and force myself to eat the more i gag and wretch where nothing comes up as nothing in mei cant live like this this is no lifei know longer know what to do and am now at a all time low no one in medecine apart from gp seems to care and at this rate i will be admitted to hospital again which i cant bear as our hospitals are so bad where i am what do i do i do not know


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## Guest (Feb 28, 2007)

I totally hear you but as you say yourself Taminara - you cannot go on like this and somebody but somebody has GOT to take you seriously.Did you get any joy from your CPN? If not, ring again and again.Sue


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## 19596 (Jan 3, 2007)

hi sue my gp refered me to her moths ago and the lady (cpn)rang me today to say she has only jjust got it how do u explain that its in the same townshe says im at the back of a long list and nothing they can doall i want to do is cry and cry as crisis line can only help me with the mental head probs not food prob if that makes sensei really honestly thought i would of had a appointment come throught this week or next i ring and ring and ring the gp shes a bit limited becouse of the lack of services available im sure shes gonna get me admitted again which i couldnt go through againsue its unbearable i dont know how anyone else goin through this gets anywhere who actually cares in the medical practises or hospital we are just another hosp number it seemssome people refuse to get help and here i am doin all i can to get something from someone anyone


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## Guest (Feb 28, 2007)

Oh god you poor old love - I really do sympathise - I've been there - got the t-shirt - I really have - I was sitting in a car swallowing packets of tablets - life had become so unbearable a year ago.Why am I telling you this? Because life will get better - I promise you - I'm on anti-depressants but I work 2 days a week, volunteer as an Educational Guide for school parties at our local National Trust property - loving, loving life and busy being a mum to 3 kids and a decent wife too.But - you are right - you are very much at the mercy of whatever local services happen to be in place - I was extremely lucky here in East Cheshire - though I did have to spend 6 long weeks in a psychiatric unit. I agree, they are NOT lovely places but I do believe, in my case that the services they provided saved my life. I'm not speaking for you - you are an individual and no-one knows your state of mind better than you yourself - I wish there was more I could do than offer my heartfelt support.Sue


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