# I'm new here.



## CelinaaKylee (Oct 17, 2012)

I'm not really sure how to type out my story and what I'm going through, but I will try my best. I'm only eighteen years old, but I feel like I should be living in a retirement home somewhere. I can hardly do anything on my own anymore. It takes all of my strength and energy to go to work. Standing up or doing any physical activity wears me out. Laying down and sleeping the pain away seems to be the only thing that helps. I eat eighty to ninety percent organic and yet every time I put something in my system that isn't in liquid form, upsets my stomach. Whether it be cooked or raw, I get extreme abdominal pain. I take a RAW women's daily vitamin and enzymes on a daily basis. Yet, nothing is helping anymore. I also suffer from extreme anxiety that seems to be going out of control as well. I know all of it is connected and I have a feeling once I get my IBS or whatever else may be wrong under control, then my anxiety will be easier to manage. I'm so tired. I am so tired of living my life in constant pain not being able to do anything. I haven't been able to enjoy dinner with my family in a very long time. (We always have dinner together when I'm not working the night shift and I can't even sit there and enjoy myself anymore. Last night i sat in my room drinking a smoothie that I didn't even finish.) I feel depression consuming me. I don't do anything creative like I used to. Singing, drawing, reading, writing, anything related to art used to keep me happy. I used to take photographs all the time. I don't do that anymore. I have no energy. No inspiration. I feel absolutely done. I can't give up completely, I know I can't. As a human being, my will to survive is fortunately still there. I just want to be healthy. I want to be happy. I want to actually _live_ life, not just exist.


----------



## njay023 (Oct 19, 2012)

Hey,I hear you. And what you are going is tough, without a doubt. But you are far from broken—your will to survive and that hope u still hold onto is evidence of that. I'm like you in some ways. I'm 18 and have anxiety problems myself and IBS has just made it worse. Sometimes I cant help but be so angry at everything. In these times I convince myself that I need my "old" self back to be happy. But the truth is, happiness comes from you. I feel that EVERYONE has it in them. One thing that has made me more content with life, and less anxious/stressed is mediation.If you can, take 20 minutes and sit down some where quiet. Breath deeply and control your breathing. As you breath, focus only on relaxing. Try to be still. Sometimes I close my eyes and picture a still ocean, with no waves and just think about that. Other times I repeat the sound "Rummm" in my head. In these quiet moments, try to push aside all those dark thoughts. I have them too. And its possible. You can make it. And you will make it, one day at time. I really hope this helps.-Nick


----------



## CelinaaKylee (Oct 17, 2012)

Thank you, Nick! What you said really means a lot.


----------



## lindahuf (Dec 8, 2012)

Hi Celinaa , i am a 55year old lady with a 20plus year history of IBS pain and an xiety. Every day is a new day. Tomorrow could be the day when you feel normal again.Hang in there, I know you got it in you girl!! lindahuf.


----------

