# Boyfriend Not Understanding



## Gtpchic31 (Jun 9, 2003)

Hi, i am haveing problems trying to get my boyfriend of almost a year to understand my IBS situation. Im not sure but i think he dumped me, i havent heard from him in a couple days, because i feel sick alot( with horrid cramps0 and dont want to go out like i use to. I didnt start to have sevear attacks till new years. I dont know how to make him understand that i have to live with this the rest of my life and he should be a little more understanding. How do you think i should handle this


----------



## Bloodflowers01 (Oct 6, 2001)

I know it sounds harsh, but if he dumped you because he doesn't understand what you have, then he isn't worth the time of day.


----------



## Gtpchic31 (Jun 9, 2003)

Thanks,Yeah i realize that now after sitting and thinking about everything. Now i have met someone who understands so it so much better.


----------



## LexiP (Apr 29, 2003)

Oh how quickly the heart shifts!







I am glad you have found a more understanding individual.I was very ill with strep throat for eight months and lost a boyfriend, and subsequently a good friend, because I could not be the social butterfly he wanted in a girlfriend. While I still get angry at being sick, I know it is better I let go back then.Alexis


----------



## iambalthazar (Mar 14, 2003)

Wait, so this may be another issue entirely, but I'm embarassed to tell my boyfriend. We used to go out to dinner, go on hikes, long drives, but now, when we hang out I just want to stay in. He knows that I get "sick" a lot, but I don't know how to explain it to him.


----------



## Gtpchic31 (Jun 9, 2003)

When i told my now ex boyfriend i just flat out told him one night sitting on the couch. He was with me through the attacks so i figured i should tell him. The guy im seeing now i have just said i have tummy issues. Its hard to tell people but you feel a weight lifted off your shoulders. It was easier for him to understand why i didnt go to the bar like i use to and wanted to be at home. My ex looked at me funny after i told him and asked if that ment i was going to have really bad gas that i wouldnt be able to control. I had to laugh. He was at least on the right track to understanding a little bit.


----------



## Guest (Jun 15, 2003)

Being honest saves you a lot of worry and distress in the long run. I never had trouble telling my boyfriend (now husband). I just told him straight out, exactly what it was like for me. He realized that it was embarrassing and a bummer for me, and was really good about it. (He said there were worse things than that, and we'd just deal with it.) It's a good way to find out if someone really cares about your feelings and if that person is mature enough (and unselfish enough) to be there for you down the road. If not, good riddance.


----------



## betagirl (Oct 12, 2002)

Hey MelI'm not sure how old you are, but I'm 27 and nice and jaded







I'm seeing someone, have been for about a year now, and he knows all about my crohn's. He's been highly understanding and cool about the whole thing. So yes, there are people out there that aren't so shallow as your ex. We started dating a few months after my diagnosis, so he knew what he was in for before we got together. If he ever changed his tune and started getting stupid about this, then his butt would be out so fast. I have no control over this ####, and anyone who faults us for being sick is just an a**hole, plain and simple.Glad to see you've moved on


----------



## Gtpchic31 (Jun 9, 2003)

Thanx, for the reply. Yeah i know he was a jerk now. And i really think some of my attacks were his fault. I am glad hes gone. and i have been feeling so much better, now that i got someone who is understandingMel


----------



## squirsh66 (Jun 16, 2003)

Hi Ive got a boyfriend who i love loads and he knows i can't do everything i used to be able to do but i just feel that im holding him back. In the past before the pains and bm's etc the two of us loved to party and socialise, we are both peoples people who value and love our friends but now im sick i just want to stay in and relax. He says he loves me and will be there for me but is it selfish of me to hold him back and stop him going out as much???


----------



## Gtpchic31 (Jun 9, 2003)

I dont think you are being selfish. If he wants to go out im sure you wouldnt mind. He just wants to stay home with you because he loves you. The only way you would be selfish is if you made him stay home with you. You got yourself a wonderful man.







keep him


----------

