# Ruining my social life



## KatieS (Dec 28, 2007)

I have had IBS for about three years now, but it seems as though the last year has been the worst for me. I am becoming more and more afraid of going out in social situations for fear of having an episode. My anxiety has become so bad about my IBS that I really only feel comfortable staying at home. Traveling really makes me nervous, which is a shame because my sister lives across the country and I really want to be able to visit her. I am only 22 years old and I really don't want this to control my life. I feel as though my IBS is making my anxiety progress into some sort of social phobia and I want to gain control of it now before I truly become a hermit. Any suggestions advice would be amazing. I really haven't talked about this much except with my family and my boyfriend who I live with. Please help!


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## thickthighs (Dec 10, 2007)

i know exactly how you feel..i was angoraophobic before i got ibs-d..get some medication for your stomach pains..take calcium for the d and get out and enjoy life..play with the calcium to see how many you should take before going too far from the toileti have recently found a form of freedom and im testing the waters..i know i only have d in the mornings and as long as i dont eat anything or drink much i can venture out


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## liz123 (Dec 28, 2007)

A friend of mine just told me her daughter got some product at a health food store called "Intestinew" (not sure on spelling) and said she has had good luck with treating her IBS. I have had this for almost 4 years now and have every type of test, pill, etc. and nothing works. I am broke trying to find a treatment, I just gave up. I too, like so many of you, live around my IBS, it controls my life....


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## Indy62 (Dec 28, 2007)

I have been diagnosed with crohn's in my colon since 10/00. I have been experimenting with food and diet and long story short, I have found my "magic bullet". I found that protein was causing my colon to get open sores and cause bloody d. I told my gut doc about it and asked for some digestive enzymes. He prescribed them and they are working like a charm. I am back to the norm of 8 years ago.


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## 16963 (Dec 5, 2006)

I always try to push myself to keep going out in uncomfortable situations, because my psychiatrist scared me shitless (no pun intended) when he pointed out that being afraid of going out is a slippery slope - and the more I stayed home, the more afraid I would be to go out, and the more I would want to stay home.If you've talked to your family and BF about it, go out with them a lot. When my IBS and social anxiety really started getting bad, I'd do a lot of things (like going to the mall) by myself, so I could run to the bathroom whenever I needed to and no one would know the difference. When I could handle that pretty well, I started going to the mall with my mom. Since she's my mom, and since she already understood what I was going through, it was easier to tell _her _"we have to find a bathroom NOW" than it would be to admit to most of my _friends _that I was about to #### my pants. When I started being okay with that, I started going places with my then-boyfriend.Really, I think traveling to see your sister could be a really good experience if you go with your family! They'll understand if you need to make frequent stops. They are _family_. And then you might gave the courage and confidence to go on trips with friends, because you will have been through it before.I still have to push myself to go out all the time. I basically just plan an escape route (I come up with a reason why I have to drive myself, etc) and figure, if I have a problem I can just go home. On bad days, I don't go far outside of my neighborhood. But if I ever think, "I could just sit at home on the couch and not have to worry about it," I still have to push myself to leave my home. And it's WORK to go to parties sometimes. I just see it as a proactiv step towards avoiding a life of hermitage!Good luck! We're all pulling for each other around here.


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## WillJ (Dec 28, 2007)

I TOTALLY relate. I developed my symptoms suddenly about 18 months ago, and since then have been dealing with the same new kinds of fears and phobias. I've become somewhat isolated, I feel embarrassed talking about it, I'm often very fearful at parties or out in public for fear of an attack. Needless to say, I hate traveling. It's always on my mind.A few things that I think about:First--losing some control over one's body functions is an inherently stressful event. Losing confidence in one's ability to control the bowels strikes deeply in at the psyche--toilet training is one of the first experiences of accomplishment we all experience! So, it's normal to feel anxious and I try to be patient with myself. Secondly--IBS manifests very differently with different people as does its management. I have learned a variety of different techniques including avoiding certain foods, noticing warning symptoms of an attack before it happens, and finding which meds in which doses help control it. I strongly encourage you to work closely with a doctor about your fears--my Dr. told me that most IBS sufferers deal with these anxieties and treating the anxiety is part of treating the overall symptoms. Good luck


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## Jan14 (Jan 1, 2008)

I can totally relate. I am actually new to the group as of today. I had such a bad weekend feeling sick almost everday. that I began searching online for any kind of help I could find. I am only in my twenties and I too feel like I am becoming a hermit. Even if I am having a good day I get myself so worked up about going out and the possibility of having to qucikly find a bathroom, and the embarrasement that comes with it, that ineviatbaly I will have problems. I'm comfortable going out with my family because I know they understand, and I know my friends understand too a certain degree but its still humiliating. Just glad to know that I am not alone.


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## Needsomehelphere (Jan 2, 2008)

This is also something I can relate to, because no matter what changes I make, there is always that fear and I never feel completely secure. And the holiday season is the worst--my family never understands why I can't stuff my face like the rest of them! The one thing that has helped me was a product that I bought online called IBSuppress. I like that it's chewable and I just like having something that I can keep in my handbag and take immediately when I feel the overtures of an episode and I'm away from home. All I know is that I just have to keep on living life and I don't want IBS to get the best of me to the point where I'm afraid to leave my apartment!!!!


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## Guest (Jan 3, 2008)

Hi KatieS,I too have IBS-D, and this past year it has got a lot worse. Actually, I call it "DDD" ha ha, no not a bra size but, my "D" is very explosive.You have IBS and a social life? lol, just kidding. Well Katie, I too dread travelling as I worry a lot about what I'm going to eat. If there's a Subway or Mr. Submarine around OK I'll eat there! However, many times I am forced to sit at a banquet and usually, I'll order the fish without the sauce, etc. Unfortunately, sometimes at the banquets, I'm the guest speaker thus, only pick at my food to prevent the anxiety to trigger my IBS-D.I also travel whether it's International or local with a kit containing; 2 pairs of underwear, meds... in prescription bottles when going abroad, creams/ointments, face cloth and baggie, to put the wet face cloth in. My workplace always thought that I carried around a laptop, ha ha. I've been off work on a disability since Oct/06 though, it's for other stomach complications. Yet, I still am invited to speak around. Most times I decline but, it's really nice to see friends all over. Most close friends know of my IBS... one even gave me a RV portable toilet as a moving away present, ha ha.I live in rural Saskatchewan, Canada now. Moved from Regina, SK to a mobile trailer (1 hour away). Came out here for R&R. Sometimes, if you can do it, a timeout is beneficial. We only have 1 toilet but my wife & 17 (18 this month) daughter who attends grade 12 here know that if I call out washroom, they'll let me in whether or not, they are having a shower... as long as I do not flush! Ha ha.Also, most likely the first thing you do is look to see where the washrooms are! I should be a washroom critic, ha ha. I hate the Superstore has they only have 1 toilet... the Wal-Mart here has 3! Sometimes when I am coming back from Regina, SK... there's a bar about half-way that I'm practically a regular in... I don't even drink, ha ha. Just use their washroom, thank them and continue on home.I've been also in very embarrassing and humiliating situations... let's call it my "wall of shame". Numerous times I did not make it!!! Yikes, no where to clean up as it's too messy plus, I didn't bring an extra pair of pants! Many times, I just returned home... head hung low! Even when I lived in Toronto, Ontario and travelling on the public Transit... I couldn't make it. Remember one restaurant on Queen St. E. @ University Ave. that I got off the subway and ran into. They refused to let me go downstairs to use the washroom unless I bought something. I yelled for a coffee to go and just made it. Many times... needing to go and there's someone using the toilet... it seems like they were reading the Globe & Mail word for word!!! Numerous times, I've pleaded for them to hurry up. A few times I had to use the women's washroom!!! Hey, you have to go, you have to go! Ha ha.My social life has dwindled some... maybe the move to rural area, maybe it's that no one wants to hear about someone's bowel movements, lol. IBS is not the #1 best seller. But, there are some solid friends I know who come and visit. Since moving to this Village, I've really not had a chance to meet a lot of people. Kinda preoccuppied... you know what I mean. Even the church I was going to and now missed 11 consecutive weeks thought that maybe I just went to another church until I talked with one of the pastors. The 2 pastors and 2 elders of my church came over one Sunday afternoon and prayed for me, my wife and daughter (who was not there at the time).My best friend, other than my wife, Denise is my dog, Sasha! She's a gorgeous German Shepherd with a little Collie in her (I think a lot of chicken in her too, ha ha). Pets are very theraputic. Do you have a pet? Get one! Though, it's nice to have someone else around in case of a hospital stay or unable to take out for a walk. Daddy's girl nudges me a lot and lies down nearby and watches me. She loves her belly rubbed but, mostly is just very affectionate with me. My wife on the other hand took a leave of absence from her workplace in Regina, SK to be with me and supposely give me TLC... I've been only receiving TL (tough love) ha ha.It's great to laugh. I watch "Just for Laughs, Gags, etc". Laughter is the best medicine!Well KatieS, I trust that you know "you're not alone" and I'll be praying for you as well. Keep the faith and there's also a young people forum on this site.Tony (nice guy living in rural Saskatchewan, Canada)


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## wthj711 (Jan 3, 2008)

I can relate....I have had for the past 25+ yrs and it has, in various degrees from mild to severe, had an impact on my life and what I am able to do and when. I was surfing the 'net during a bad episodic period and stumbled on a "new" probiotic from Proctor and Gamble...I ordered (as my nephew is a pharmacist/scientist for P&G) and it has totally changed me. I have been taking for 3 weeks - abusing my diet during the Holidays (purposefully to guage the effect), and I have not had 1 bad day. My condition is now predictable and I can tell a HUGE difference.*** Check out aligngi.com - - - The product name is Align. I am glad to have found it!


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## Guest (Jan 7, 2008)

Hey wthj711 & others,The product "Align" is talked a lot in the Probiotics Forum on this site. I've tried an OTC Jamieson probiotics with 2 billion active cells but my disability health consultant said I'm throwing my money away. She recommended the 20-35 billion active cells probiotic found in health food store's refridgerator but, they are very expensive.As soon as I deplete my OTC... I'll get some Align and try it. I live in Canada thus, may have to go to the US, when arranged through a pharmacy there. Inexpensive... $1 per capsule I hear.I've been emailed about 20 times by multi-level marketers & scams via this site, claiming that their products "cured" their IBS. I suggest you run away! Save your money!Tony (still a nice guy in rural Saskatchewan, Canada)


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## tummer06 (Sep 27, 2007)

Need - FYI IBSuppress is giving away free samples of full size boxes now. You have to enter freeibsuppress at checkout as the promo code. I tried it multiple times but it was only good for one per address so I used my work address for the second one . You have to pay for shipping but that's like nothing.For me, probies are a great way to start the dayIBSuppress helps (especially when driving/in traffic)I like "Eater's Digest" tea too - I bring it with me for social occasions, it's good after a mealTummer


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## thickthighs (Dec 10, 2007)

i know this sounds easier than done,but you cant let this ruin your lifethe elder in my church told me to 'consider a diaper'.







im only 39 and thankGod i dont need them now,but when the time comes i definantly will wear themconsider yourself lucky,atleast you dont have FBO..now that is really a problem as far as getting out and meeting people..but i still perservereeventually i will find something to help mewith that all said,sometimes i have crying jags


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## kinglouie (May 15, 2007)

Hi, I feel your pain! Here are some tips that worked for me.1. How much water are you drinking? Increase your water, usually 2 liters a day or more.2. Try 8 oz. glass of Prune Juice in the morning, heat up in microwave.3. http://www.bowtrolcleanse.com/4. Drink Hot Tea (green Tea) to sooth gas and bloating.It's not fun being constipated, etc... to fix this you need to try a probiotic that has 50 billion or more friendly bacteria. This will make your more regular.www.Vsl3.comhttp://www.biokplus.com/Also if you want to clean out fast, try giving yourself a enema, 1 every week. This will make you feel 10x better in 1 hour!!http://www.enematips.com/index.htmlI hope this helps!-me


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## Maveric (Jan 20, 2008)

Tony (nice guy living in rural Saskatchewan, Canada): drop me a line if you get this.. As for the others.. I've been through almost every instance. My stress has somewhat aleviated from reading this thread, and I thank you. I'm quite anxious to hear about this Align that y'all are talking about so much.A common thread I've noticed (though it doesn't apply to all, I'm sure).. it seems for some it started in their 20's (as it did with me, beginning with the angoraphobia). I wonder why that is. If anyone has any thoughts on this.. I'm curious.. ..Mav


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## RxPlease (Jan 20, 2008)

Lynnie: Great suggestions - thank you for putting this out there. Like I've mentioned in my posts. I've never had any type of depression, stress, or social anxiety UNTIL AFTER suffering from IBS-D. I too started to feel like a hermit. I spent my entire 20s being very social, going to functions, sporting events, dinner parties, camp outs, traveling, etc. Now, I'm afraid to leave the bathroom. I started doing a few things like you do (the mall suggestion), and now when me and my husband go out, we sometimes take separate cars, because I usually have to end up going home. It's sad and embarassing to say, but all our friends and family know of my "problem." I hate this - but it makes going out with them a little easier. They now know why I'm MIA for about half an hour. I thought I was the only one with these type of problems, until I joined this group yesterday. I can't belive how much the support has helped thus far!


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## RxPlease (Jan 20, 2008)

Just started the ALIGN pro biotic 2 days ago. I take that together with Culturelle Probiotic. Both help instantaneously - so it seems. To heck with the drugstore - you can order online at www.drugstore.com and/or www.walgreens.com. This has helped me for the time-being; however, this seems to be the trend, something will work for about a week, then I have a massive episode, like my insides are blowing up. Go figure - I'll knock on wood now! Good luck, pal!


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## Foliage (Dec 18, 2007)

I can so relate to the agoraphobia thing since I've been plagued by this ever since I got my IBS-D,about a year and a half ago.I guess it's gripped me pretty hard,cause I don't wanna leave my house for anything,and I so want to do a lot of things at the same time! I really want to enjoy life and I'm so angry that this thing is keeping me back...I try to fight it,I'm doing a bit better now due to following Mike's hypnotherapy program,but the environment for me is very important as well as my psychological condition.I also suffer from GERD.All my gastrointestinal problems have begun due to stress and miserable times,so it's more of a psychological condition for me.We gotta keep trying and hoping!Even though it seems impossible at times...


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## 22134 (May 11, 2005)

Ask your doc for a prescription of Lomotil. My friend let me try some of hers and it's like a miracle. It stops D pretty instantaneously -- unlike Immodium which usually helps after the fact. I guess doctors don't like to prescribe it because it is like an opiate & you can get addicted if you take too much, but it's a life saver in high-stress situations like traveling. Also, the more you talk about this the more you'll discover how many other people deal with these GI issues, too (like my friend who shared with me the Lomotil). You are not alone!!!!


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## ibs-janet (Feb 5, 2008)

Hi KatieSI know what you mean and I feel so bad for you. The struggle to just live a normal life is often times as bad as the physical pain we go through.I'm 38 and have had IBS-D since childhood. I can remember being in my early 20s and finding myself at a club with friends when you-know-what happens. it can really be emotionally scarring.Part of your struggle is going to be physical of course and as some of the other members have noted you should try some different remedies until you find your "magic bullet." But the other part of the struggle will be psychological and emotional. Of course the better you feel physically the more you'll go out and live a normal life, but i also recommend challenging yourself to go out and have fun even if you're not sure what will happen physically. At first stay close to home until you find your groove, but whatever you do don't let the IBS make you a prisoner in your own house.You're young and you have a lot going for you. it will be a struggle but I believe the fight will make you stronger in the long run, as it did for me.Take care,Janet


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## Laila (Feb 5, 2008)

hi katie,Same goes for me too. I socialise a lot and don't want to stop that. The kids have finally grown and thought now is the time to enjoy myself but this IBS thing is not helping at all. Have suffered for a year now.To get over my anxiety pangs i have turned to yoga and it has helped.


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## PooperinPA (Feb 7, 2008)

Hi! I just joined. I noticed while everyone seems to have something similar - and yet slightly different to say.My symptoms usually appear because I get nervous/anxious about going out and socializing. My big question is - is it the anxiety that brings on the ibs symptoms OR is it the ibs symptoms (and the fear of) that bring on the anxiety?I wish I knew!


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## overitnow (Nov 25, 2001)

PooperinPA said:


> My big question is - is it the anxiety that brings on the ibs symptoms OR is it the ibs symptoms (and the fear of) that bring on the anxiety?I wish I knew!


If you can get back to the first times it hit you, you can probably make a pretty good stab at answering that question. But the bowels and the anxiety will definitely feed off of each other, once it gets going.Mark


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## Laila (Feb 5, 2008)

To handle my anxiety i took to Yoga and it has worked but my falre-ups continue. Today I have to attend a function and i can't coz i've got the runs and this has been going on for a year now. i have lost so much weight too. I had a very bad gastroenteritis attack in December 2006 and since then i have been battling with IBS. God knows how to handle it!


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