# Marriage is suffering from IBS



## Sramey23 (May 22, 2013)

I am 24, and I am hurt. I have been married to my husband for six years. I was diagnosed with IBS a year ago. my life and my marriage is suffering. my husband has never tried to read anything about IBS to try to understand how I feel. My life is suffering. I feel ugly and nasty inside. I have lost weight and feel malnourished. im tired and achy due to this. I try to tell him how I feel but he's skeptical and insists that I cant possibly feel bad this much. I feel like he doesn't listen to me and he thinks im just an emotional wreck. I do not IBS as an excuse. I am so in love with my husband and I can see his desire for me leaving. it has gotten to the point where he says things that are mean, about cheating. now im in fear that I will lose him because HE wont try to understand. counseling is not an option. I cry out to him and try to convince him that I do love him, but he doesn't listen. I feel like he's always judging me by calling me depressed and he frequently tells me how I should feel. he insists that if I change my diet I would feel better. all food upsets my stomach and leaves me blocked. he also thinks that if I exercise I wouldn't feel as bad but sometimes working out adds stress to my stomach. he doesn't try to comfort me by holding and consoling me. I have to ask him for everything, to do everything, and tell him about the pain. I just feel hurt. my back is against the wall. my self confidence is low, and i am in fear of being too close because my heart is broken enough. I signed up for this because I wanted friends to understand me, but I don't feel the feelings of support I thought I would. I don't want to die, but I do feel like hiding and never coming back. I hate the fact that it came to this especially so fast. we've been together for almost 10 years and its dissolving fast in one..I am so hurt and lonely. even in my own home. i have poured out my heart to everyone I know and they don't understand. I feel like I talk to brick walls all the time. this is what's left of my heart, and I have poured the rest out.


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## New Member7777 (May 23, 2013)

Sorry to hear this Sramey... men can be so unemotional and want to fix everything rather than listen...which is what women need in the form of support... I have no answers but keep strong and keep trying to get him to understand... this is not good for your IBS in that he is causing stress. Know it's hard at your young age (I'm 59) but try to tune him out... I learned the hard way the only one who is really going to take care of you is you. Easier said than done. The more he stresses you out, the worse your IBS gets, and on and on... Try to beat at least that. Will send good wishes your way....


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## LivingHappyWithIBS (May 22, 2013)

My heart breaks for you. Luckily, my husband has been very understanding with the change in lifestyle, limited diet, not going out, not being intimate on my bad days. However, I get push-back from my Mom. She thinks it's "all in my head" and it would help if I got pregnant. So it stresses me out when I am around her, which then makes my symptoms even worse. I try to have detailed conversations about my issues, but she doesn't want to hear it.

Stay strong and keep trying to have those conversations!


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## KerryLad (Apr 22, 2013)

Stress Makes Ibs Get worse And worse the More U stress over it the worse it gets vicious circle  hope u sort things


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## Shaylu (Feb 12, 2013)

Hi Sramey23, so sorry to hear of your troubles. Men can be unemotional. They are not hard wired like us women to care, nurture and talk. If that is what you want in a relationship than I have to honestly say, reading from what y have said, you will not get that where you are. If you love your husband than love him for the way he is and accept that you cannot change him.

You can however change yourself. So decide what you want to change.

I would suggest the starting point is getting your health back by YOURSELF. So what have you done in terms of seeing Doctors, getting testing, changing your diet? Post up here and see if anyone can offer you real advice to get your life back on track.

The term 'IBS' is given by doctors when they do not know what is causing the symptoms. A bit of research and talking about your symptoms to others can help you to find solutions yourself.


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## Sramey23 (May 22, 2013)

thanks for all the wonderful advice







.I really appreciate you guys. he isn't a bad guy. I do wanna set that straight so it wont look like im just talking bad. its just that I seek comfort when im feeling vulnerable, and he says he understands because he had the stomach flu but its different. I feel like my parents don't understand because they get offended when I don't want to come by on holidays knowing its plenty of family and only one bathroom. it just sucks for all of the changes I have went through within one year


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## davehuggins (Apr 28, 2013)

Hi,

Have read your story and fully appreciate what you are saying, nobody understands what this IBS thing can do to you. I am male and have suffered with IBS for some years now, I didn't fully understand what was going on until 3 years ago. No doctors I saw helped me in any way so I decided to self help myself and find out more about this damn IBS. So I would advise you to take time out for yourself and study what YOU need to do do to help yourself. I have worked out a good fat free diet which seems to work for me, when I start an attack I take buscopan which helps relieve most of my problems.

Please do take time for yourself to work this out as not many other people understand or believe you.

All the best of luck.

Dave


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## Sramey23 (May 22, 2013)

I really appreciate all the great advice. I have found an approach. it involved blowing up which wasn't nice, but I have noticed some change. actually lots of change. I felt like he was supposed to read body language, which I learned some men don't think that far at the time( no disrespect to anyone.)I had to learn to communicate with him. I feel like things will work out great, I just still have to learn to take care of myself because this is indeed a problem that was inflicted on me by chance, so I have to work through this myself. I have realized that I cannot burden others with the way I feel. i can only help them understand what I feel. now that ii have noticed this, I have to take responsibility and learn that I have to live no matter what. I also have to be a support system for others and help them in their time of need. if I don't love me, how can I help others?


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