# My life revolves around IBS...



## Ashers86 (Dec 31, 2007)

I had the 'luck' of seeing my psychiatrist yesterday... Updated her on my issues and how my anxiety has gone through the roof; therefore, I've been feeling like garbage on almost a constant basis lately. The episodes don't really occur all that often, but the discomfort in my stomach comes and goes throughout my days. This, without a doubt, I have linked to my mood swings which are happening due to high sudden stress.Anyways, if you have any mental illness, I'm sure you know how it affects your stomach, regardless of whether or not you have a stomach problem.Now to put IBS on top... anxiety is easily, and by far, my number one trigger. Personal issues have spun out of control lately, my anti-depressants don't work, and I have yet to seek out another form of therapy because I need to be referred.Besides that though, I was explaining (yesterday, to my shrink) how my brain is contemplating how I feel about my employment and financial situation because the IBS affects my ability to do so. I do work from home part-time, but sometimes even when I'm okay doing that, the odd thing will frustrate me and in the end, make me wonder why I'm even trying so hard. I just want to take care of myself... that was my goal when I decided to leave the job force because my IBS got out of control.Anyways, the shrink makes a closing comment to me that 'I need to not let my life be affected by IBS'. I know that can be taken in different contexts, and yes, essentially that is true... but after everything I just explained to her - how can you say that to someone?? I mean, yes, if it weren't affecting my ability to work as it is right now, than I would be working on the other aspects of my life... but right now, it IS affecting everything I do! I mean, how can it not?? Did she forget what it is?! In the beginning, I think my psychiatrist was the only doctor that understood what IBS entails... now, I have to question that. That's like a slap in the face... And here I'm asking for help to find myself because I see no future in my life since I can't predict how I'll feel tomorrow AT ALL!*sigh* Has anyone had this happen to them? What are everyone's honest thoughts, really?


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## Guest (Feb 26, 2009)

Oh Ash - thats a tough call. I should think the psychiatrist is probably running out of options (HER problem, not yours) but still, it seems a most unhelpful remark.As you know my IBS is so mild as to rarely impact on my quality of life - but of course I know that is not the case for so many of you here and I don't know what to suggest about that - other than doggedly trying out supplementation or anything else that just might help.However, of course I've battled with my mental health and you have nothing but sympathy there. It seems that much of your "troubles" comes from poor health and the fact that you are hindered from earning a decent living and living a decent life because of that and I don't know if anti-d medication is really going to address that. With me - its simply a chemical imbalance (well simply is not really the right word - its anything but) - and that is well addressed by the medication.You are fortunate - cos it sounds from your past posts (and I hope that this is still the case) that you are blessed with an understanding and intelligent partner. You must not feel guilty because you are unable to earn much at present - I suppose you just have to be pragmatic and accept that your physical limitation (For now) prevent you going out into the working world. There are plenty of folk in that position too.I suppose you have to "get angry" with the IBS - be proactive (which I know you are) and refuse to give into it completely whilst acknowledging that for now, you have limitations. Its a bloody tough call and I'm sorry I don't really have the answers other than to offer a sympathetic cyber shoulder.Sue xxxx


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## baz22p (Dec 1, 2008)

Hi Ash, I think the simple answer to your 'true or false' question is TRUE. How can us sufferers of the more severe forms of IBS, like us, not have or lives ruled by this problem? IBS has meant that I can't work at all, but I do try to make the best of how I am feeling at al times. Today, for example, has been a fairly good day so far, so I was able to do the shopping and the other house-hold chores no problem. Last Sunday was a different matter - I have not had pain like that for some time. However, I tried, on both occassions, to do what I could...Sunday meant just sitting up in bed reading. I saw my GP on Tuesday and he wants to try me on CBT (psychotherapy). I will try anything to improve my quality of life. I know exactly what you mean about sudden stress - the recent death of my father sent my IBS haywire....it wasn't so bad when I was doing something, but when I just sat and thought my IBS was so much worse. One thng that I've already learned about having _any_ kind of job while having health issues is that at some stage you have to forget work and look after yourself. You don't do yourself any favours by plodding-on and pushing yourself.......something has got to give, and you don't want it to be you. You have to have a certain level of health in order to work, but, if you haven't got that, you need to stop trying and recover your health to the stage where you can do a good job.I hope this makes sense.Baz


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## marilyn121 (Feb 18, 2009)

oh ash, i can relate to you. i just have a menial little job but it is my only way of surviving. my mental state is out of control, others i work with and live with have no idea how this effects your work and personal life. i hurt everyday because i have a stand up job, i don't know about others but standing is the worst. i rarely call off work because of my ibs. i just continue to suffer. i wasn't even diagnosed yet, when my daughter was killed in a car accident less than a year ago, the pain was unbareable. the more i think of that day, the worse i feel. i do take an antidepressant and that helps some. i'm so glad i found this sight as i don't know anyone else with ibs to talk too. thank you all for being here for me and others.


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## Ashers86 (Dec 31, 2007)

Thanks everyone for your responses.. and welcome aboard marilyn! I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter... I can see how that would make you sick..Thing is, I do realize that in the end (when we have it in our control, of course), we all do need to find some way of not letting it affect us in certain ways....It's just that here I was, telling her WHY my anxiety is so out of control, and she tells me to learn to stop thinking about the IBS?! Would she like to prescribe me some morphine or horse tranquilizers? I think not...And I DID just tell her that they found my "colon is twisted" (tortuous sigmoid), which could only explain a big amount of pain on it's own. I hate having to try and explain it... but for my psych to turn around and say that to me? It's obvious that that is the problem... so....*sigh* I just really don't see any professionalism in that and it didn't help me in the least...


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## caputsky (Jan 21, 2009)

I also have heightened anxiety about having IBS, and lately I really find myself in the vicious cycle of thinking about it makes it worse, and then when it gets worse, I think about it more, etc. Sadly, people who do not suffer from the symptoms most of us do, don't understand what it can be like. I think its because our lives are often tied to food and how we feel, plus since our intestines are at the "core" of our body, any pain or discomfort or problems we have there definitely affect other parts of the body... including our minds! I'm sorry that your therapist was so unprofessional and made you feel that way. But you are not alone in your feelings, and as someone else said, you didn't make yourself sick in the first place, so none of this is your fault! Keep your chin up, and the rest of us will try to do that as well


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## baz22p (Dec 1, 2008)

Hi Marilyn,I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter, but I'm glad that you are finding this site supportive. Althought my dad died less than a month ago I can only imagine what you have/are going through (especially as stress is a well known and recognised trigger). The only saving grace, if you an call it that because opinion changes are so slow to happen, is the fact that public opinion is slowly becoming more widespread, and knowledge of IBS is increasing simply because so many people are affected by it these days. Anytime you wish to seek advice, or just have a rant, you will find the appropriate help here!Baz


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## Guest (Feb 26, 2009)

Oh Marilyn I can only begin to imagine how on earth you cope with the loss of a beloved child. My thoughts are with you - no wonder you find it hard to cope and all power to you for having a job - doesn't matter what on earth it is - you're going out there and trying to earn a living.Sue xxxx


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## evulienka (Jan 12, 2007)

Hey Ash, I´m in college now but I´ve been thinking a lot about my future and my future job over the last few weeks... it´s a tough situation for everyone of us. My problems are worst especially early in the mornings, that´s the time of the day when I get gassy and the stomach cramps are really bad. Actually, if I have to get up really early, I´ll be in pain for the rest of the day. I have morning classes twice a week this semester and that´s why I have to get up at 6 a.m. By the time I get to school my stomach is bloated and I have to sit through the classes in horrible pains. Well, I can survive it now - it´s tough but I can bear it twice a week - but I can´t really imagine having a 9 to 5 job and spending long hours in an office with such horrible cramps every day. *sigh* And I know noone will ever care whether I have cramps or not, noone understands, not even my family, so how could I possibly expect from the employers to understand IBS. Even if I don´t really like my course in college, sometimes I wish I could be a student forever, because once I graduate I won´t be allowed to skip the "classes" and adjust my schedule lol. I´m really sorry that your doctor was so rude... yeah, I think it was really rude to say something like that to an IBS sufferer. Of course IBS has a huge impact on our lives and that´s just the way it is. It makes me angry when most people think I´m just being lazy when I turn down offers and don´t want to go travelling/partying/whatever. I understand that most people don´t get it, but at least the doctors could be more sympathetic. I hope we can sort this out and find our ways ... even if it´s really tough. (((((HUGS)))))


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## MyOwnSavior (Dec 21, 2006)

Ashers86 said:


> It's just that here I was, telling her WHY my anxiety is so out of control, and she tells me to learn to stop thinking about the IBS?! Would she like to prescribe me some morphine or horse tranquilizers? I think not...


Interestingly enough, that's what my GI doctor told me as well.Now, different circumstances, obviously, but the point is still basically the same -- somehow doctors expect us to just "not think about" the thing that makes our lives a living hell. Right...But to offer some hope, I've found that when I did have a job, I really did feel an improvement in my IBS symptoms. Maybe it was just that living at home was stressing me out? Maybe I was bored and so my mind didn't have anything to do to "distract" (even if for only a little while) me from the inevitable pain in my stomach. I don't know. And I don't know if this would be true in your situation, Ashers, because you have a different problem ... I do think that if somehow you _could_ get out in the workforce (and I am not trying to diminish your pain or inability to do that...) -- even if it was just for a little while -- maybe you'd feel better in the end. It does seem like your IBS symptoms have gotten a lot worse since you quit working out in the workforce... and God knows I know that being at home all the time will cause anxiety, IBS symptoms, and many other horrible things. I don't know what it is -- call it cabin fever or whatever -- but I know I feel better when I get out of the house... but I know that it is hard, especially when you don't have control over certain things... but I think the more you do it, the more comfortable you'll be, and so on. If not, then it really comes down to accepting yourself for who you are... I know I've struggled a lot with that in my life; and I will say that it is a long process, but I think in the end it can be achieved. There's still things I struggle with, obviously, but I think compared to where I was three years ago, I personally came to accept myself much more; I came to accept the limitations on myself and my actions, my relationships with other people, and so on. I think you're lucky that you have Jeff there at least as a support system, if nothing else. I do think that if you had others physically around you that were suffering from IBS as well, that would help you very much. I can't tell you how much it helped me last summer to know that a woman in my group for a class had IBS as well. I don't know why; it just makes you think "Hey, if they can do it, so can I". IBS can be a very lonely illness/condition, and I think the more that you break that cycle, the better you'll eventually feel. Of course, it's possible that's not true. I mean, I don't have the answers; I wish I did, or I'd certainly have cured myself by now! But again, I think it all comes back to accepting yourself... maybe the social anxiety just means you will avoid certain activities/situations... you don't want to let it control you, but if the meds aren't helping and all those situations do is cause you IBS pain, I don't really see any alternative, unfortunately ...But I do think you will eventually achieve some measure of peace, even if it means accepting that you'll have to deal with certain things ...


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## Ashers86 (Dec 31, 2007)

caputsky - you are so right! And I think the majority of us do realize anxiety problems just make the IBS-anxiety issue worse, but how can we help it if we can't deal?I'm supposed to be starting an outpatient hospital program next week for mental health - it's basically school (9am - 2pm, Monday to Friday for 6 weeks), with classes like Stress Management, Coping Skills, CBT, Communication, etc. While I've had a heart attack trying to decide what to do about my employment while attending this, I'm going to go because I know I need this to help myself.evulienka - I am so sorry to hear the position you're in right now! Trust me, I feel for you!I had to drop out of college because the IBS started - I can't even imagine how you're getting through! I remember randomly bolting out of lectures to go to the bathroom, and having someone I knew from class bring my bag in for me because it was over and done with by the time I could submerge. I do hope you are at least interested and enjoying whatever classes you are taking right now...But that's exactly it - I don't know about my future at this point and that's THE most frustrating thing right now. I need to at least decrease the hours I work (even though I only work from home p/t right now) to attend this program... and then what? Hope I can suddenly work?? We're actually moving at the end of March (great timing, huh?)... and I'm so lost because how am I supposed to even begin saving for a house or wedding or anything like that? Forget retirement... I'm kind of hoping I won't be around to see that age..{{{HUGS}}} Thanks everyone for being here!MOS - Almost missed your post there!Don't you just love it when people assume things?!







*sigh* I have learned to accept that my life may not be perfect... Heck, if there was anything my psychiatrist DID say that was right, is that I should consider what to do if I never get better (which is just naturally how I'm thinking right now anyways).Problem is I just don't feel safe with whatever decision I make. I've even been straight up with Jeff and told him that the situation bothers me soo much about how it's so unfair to him, that I would understand if he couldn't deal with taking care of me and our relationship fell apart. I just feel on edge because it really isn't right (and yes, I'm currently playing phone-tag to see about getting SOME sort of government assistance), and since I feel so unmotivated and useless, I would be better putting myself out of the street or on someones couch.You may have a point though with the whole "being inside all day" thing... Only problem is I find I need to plan outings ahead of time or else my nerves get the best of me if I'm in a hurry. Oh well, I'll see how attending the program goes, and maybe I'll have more insight from there...


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## baz22p (Dec 1, 2008)

evulienka said:


> And I know noone will ever care whether I have cramps or not, noone understands, not even my family, so how could I possibly expect from the employers to understand IBS.


At least the people on this site do!Baz


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