# Confronting Problems and IBS



## bones (Sep 26, 2006)

Lately, life has been very hard to face due to IBS. I donâ€™t feel like Iâ€™m me anymore. My IBS started about 5 years ago and I feel like Iâ€™ve been dead for 4 years and 364 days.Every time I think about the past (which is full of very painful and traumatizing events) my IBS symptoms flare up big time. Every time I have to face a problem, I get a headache and my IBS symptoms flare up, so I just run away from the situation. And later, the problem just gets worse and I feel worse than I did to begin with. How do you deal with denial, running away, and IBS? I know the short answer is to suck it up and just face your problems and fears but itâ€™s never that easy.


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## 21682 (Sep 4, 2006)

Well, what I've found helped me was dealing with it -- I know how cliche it sounds -- but you have to. I'm new to this site and what I found that surprises me the most is how many people find out the things that triggers a flare but don't do anything to fix it. If stress is the probelm do yoga, talk to a shrink, go on anti-anxieties or a combination of all three, whatever works for you.The same goes with food. I'm a firm believer that poor diet plays a large role in this -- on both a personal and national level. There is a post in here about popcorn and whether or not people can eat and I'm shocked how many people have said how much it bothers them but they still eat it. I know the last thing I want to do is eat something that makes me feel bad. I've had to give up fried food because it was the kiss of death for my guts. But wouldn't you find it strange if I kept telling everybody how much fred foods bothered me but I kept eating them and then turned around and wondered why I don't feel better? Do I miss fried foods? Absolutely. Would I give anything for a pizza? Yup. But I know they make me feel bad and I'd rather feel good and watch what I eat than feel bad and eat whatever I wanted. Unfortunately this disease forces us to sacrifice.Probably not what you want to hear. Sorry. But, that's the way I see it. Take it from a guy who lost his health insurance lived for months in an awful flare of UC/IBS and found myself sitting on my couch at 3 a.m. with a bottle of Vodka and every pill in the house.It's like that line in Shawshank Redemption, "Get busy living or get busy dying."I called my GI, he saw me immediately, put me on some prednisone, which is cheap, told me not to worry about paying him and got me back on the right path and here I am. I've sacrificed a ton of food that I loved. I never go out to eat anymore. Does it suck? Yup, but I feel better and that makes it worth the effort.If your not careful this disease will consume you. I just decided I wasn't going to let it anymore and decided I should get busy living.Sorry, if that sounds preachy or self-helpy. Really, I'm truly a bitter and jaded...I just want everybody to feel better and if my story can help you feel better, great.Get well soon...


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## 14849 (Aug 25, 2006)

> quote:Originally posted by bones:Lately, life has been very hard to face due to IBS. I donâ€™t feel like Iâ€™m me anymore. My IBS started about 5 years ago and I feel like Iâ€™ve been dead for 4 years and 364 days.Every time I think about the past (which is full of very painful and traumatizing events) my IBS symptoms flare up big time. Every time I have to face a problem, I get a headache and my IBS symptoms flare up, so I just run away from the situation. And later, the problem just gets worse and I feel worse than I did to begin with. How do you deal with denial, running away, and IBS? I know the short answer is to suck it up and just face your problems and fears but itâ€™s never that easy.


Yeah, I think we all like to reminisce about the "glory days." Quite depressing, really, considering I still remember how I had a life and actually went on vacations and enjoyed myself, or hung out with my friends...worry free.I live my life off of memories, what can I say?


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## 14448 (Jun 14, 2006)

I have IBS-d and social anxiety disorder, and find life hard to face. If I didn't force myself to face it I'd stay in my flat every day. I feel safe here. But I get lonely, bored, and angry that I'm missing out on my 20s. Anxiety is the main trigger for my IBS, but sometimes it just hits out of the blue, severe cramps, d, and a feeling something terrible will happen. I've just come back from a week at my parents' home (the first time I've slept anywhere else for nearly a year!)and the whole time I was longing for the privacy of my own bathroom. Its hard to enjoy things when u have constant crampy pain and the threat of D hanging over you.I've tried lots of anti-anxiety meds (I spent most of the trip popping Xanax pills), have been in counselling for a year, and am told no psychiatrists are available on NHS in my area. I follow a strict diet when I'm away. It helps as far as I know if I veer off it and eat something fatty/dairy I will definately have an attack- but often I have one anyway. I don't believe in sacrificing all non 'safe' foods if I'm staying at home, as food is a valuable source of pleasure to me. Last week I ate nothing but lean protein, toast and steamed veg, and still had an IBS attack three days in a row. What I did find helps a bit is a CBT plan for going out and facing fears. I devised my own, it involves seesions of daily 'exposure therapy' to my anxiety triggers. It's helping, but it still feels like pushiing against a big black cloud that's trying to swallow up my life. If there IS a silver lining, for me it's that I've had IBS all my life so I can't remember any 'glory days' without it.


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## masterplan (Aug 6, 2006)

I try to do things anyway in the hope that my fears will ease and I'll get over it, but it doesn't happen. In reality the knowledge that I've done something before makes no difference to my IBS on any day and I'm growing more and more resigned to the fact that my life is effectively over.


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## 14448 (Jun 14, 2006)

I think breaking the IBS-anxiety cycle is a long, slow process that takes perseverence and a lot of patience. I used to get v.frustrated if I battled through an exposure session- like going to town- and the next time I tried to do it I was just as anxious or worse. After a week of walking to town EVERY DAY I found my anxiety eased a bit. But knowledge that it might ease isn't always enough- on Monday I was v.anxious again. 3 weeks later I can notice a slight difference, but I think it'll be a long time before I'm totally comfortable with it again. I guess it's like building a house; you have to lay down the foundations painfully day after day, or it will all come tumbling down on your head.I feel like I'm 're-claiming' my territory from anxiety. A few months ago I couldn't even leave my flat. Now I go to town, to the gym, to see my friend in another city. I still feel anxious doing these things, but I know it's the start of getting my life back.


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## masterplan (Aug 6, 2006)

Gotta say, I can't see things that way. I definitely see that I have places where I'm comfortable: home and work. Usually I feel fine when I get to work. But you can't make yourself comfortable with every surrounding. If I go on holiday for a couple of weeks I've got no chance of going anywhere or doing anything. And it'll be like that for the rest of my life. I can spend my days spending the mornings on the toilet, then going to work, then going home. Maybe just squeezing other things in here and there. But it's no life. This is just existence.I think the worst thing is that I've seen and done so much and then had it taken away. It's like I've been shown what life can be, then told I can't have it. I really am so close to giving up now.


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## 14448 (Jun 14, 2006)

I can see why you are angry, that you have tasted the life you want to live and have had it snatched away. I guess it's easier for me because I was born with a digestive system that goes haywire with anxiety. Since I was a kid I've been happiest alone, close to a safe place with no pressures on me. It's such a RELIEF not to have to go on family holidays/ trips anymore. I do feel I'm missing out on things, but i think of it as temporary, becasue I'm determined to make progress. Why are you so certain your life has been snatched away forever? It doesn't mean you can't EVER have it again, just that you have to put it on hold for a while. With perseverence, intensive CBT and courage, you could get it all back. What's a couple of years of hell compared to the rest of your life being like you want it? Or you could find it just goes away like a cloud that passes over you. If you take such a negative attitude, ie repeatedly telling yourself 'my life is effectively over/it'll be like that for the rest of my life', you reduce your chances of recovering. Think of it as an obstacle to be overcome. You say you feel comfortable at work and at home. Try to build up the number of places where you feel comfortable, like areas of uni, your city centre, your main shops, pub, cinema etc. Reclaim bits of your life, even if it takes weeks of exposure before you feel a difference. As for holidays, there are strong drugs like benzodiazipines (anti-anxiety) and diphenoxylate (anti-D) docs will prescribe in the short term.


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