# O.k. I can't pretend to be positive anymore



## dreday (May 4, 2007)

For the past 3 weeks, I think I have been off this site and trying trying to live. I am doing biofeedback and neurofeedback treatment because a lot of my IBS-D is caused by the fact that I am crazy. I have social anxiety disorder and basically I just am extremely negative and paranoid. So I TRIED to not be. But I can't! Anyone ever heard of someone waking up one day and not having IBS-D?!?!?! ANYONE?!?! It has mad me lose all my friends, except my beaitful wonderful boyfriend. But I need more then a boyfriend! IBS affects EVERYTHING! I used to LOVE social situations and attention and going out and dancing! Dancing even gives me an IBS-D attack! I can't go on any trips with my friends, well old friends, or my boyfriend. I want to travel so much. But imagine being in London on that famous ferris wheel and ...OMG I HAVE THE RUNS! Imagine my wedding day, in my big white dress, and I get an attack. Any big event or an event I am not comfortable with or don't like, I get the runs. FOR WORK, SCHOOL, GOING OUT, TRAVEL, SEEING ANYONE! hOW CAN i LIVE IF i HAVE THIS? iT CAN HIT ME AT ANY TIME, AND RUIN THE DAY.NIGHT AND LEAVE ME STRANDED AND TRAPPED IN A PLACE, DESPERATELY HOLDING ONTO MY INSIDES (sorry for the caps) and nto beign able to let them out...humiliated. One time I went to Dolce, this famous resturaunt Ashton Kuthcer owns, fora friends bday. There was onlye 2 bathrooms in the place!!!!! 2 stalls in the tiniest room. A bunch of trendy beautiful rich girls were waiting for me to get out, and smelling everything Im sure, while I was sick 1 ft. way from them. I just don't see how IBS's randomness will ever let me live. Please. Cheer me up! I have no one to talk to about this, and I need to give my poor boyfriend's ears a break.


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## young windy (May 14, 2007)

dreday said:


> For the past 3 weeks, I think I have been off this site and trying trying to live. I am doing biofeedback and neurofeedback treatment because a lot of my IBS-D is caused by the fact that I am crazy. I have social anxiety disorder and basically I just am extremely negative and paranoid. So I TRIED to not be. But I can't! Anyone ever heard of someone waking up one day and not having IBS-D?!?!?! ANYONE?!?! It has mad me lose all my friends, except my beaitful wonderful boyfriend. But I need more then a boyfriend! IBS affects EVERYTHING! I used to LOVE social situations and attention and going out and dancing! Dancing even gives me an IBS-D attack! I can't go on any trips with my friends, well old friends, or my boyfriend. I want to travel so much. But imagine being in London on that famous ferris wheel and ...OMG I HAVE THE RUNS! Imagine my wedding day, in my big white dress, and I get an attack. Any big event or an event I am not comfortable with or don't like, I get the runs. FOR WORK, SCHOOL, GOING OUT, TRAVEL, SEEING ANYONE! hOW CAN i LIVE IF i HAVE THIS? iT CAN HIT ME AT ANY TIME, AND RUIN THE DAY.NIGHT AND LEAVE ME STRANDED AND TRAPPED IN A PLACE, DESPERATELY HOLDING ONTO MY INSIDES (sorry for the caps) and nto beign able to let them out...humiliated. One time I went to Dolce, this famous resturaunt Ashton Kuthcer owns, fora friends bday. There was onlye 2 bathrooms in the place!!!!! 2 stalls in the tiniest room. A bunch of trendy beautiful rich girls were waiting for me to get out, and smelling everything Im sure, while I was sick 1 ft. way from them. I just don't see how IBS's randomness will ever let me live. Please. Cheer me up! I have no one to talk to about this, and I need to give my poor boyfriend's ears a break.


Hi Dreday,I'm sure you wouldn be the first person to have the trots on the London wheel.And, shockingly, even trendy beautiful rich girls poo and make smells.With things like biofeedback, meditation etc you have to work at it and persist.A buddhist once told me that meditation can sometimes be wonderful and zen like, and other times it can bring up some really difficult stuff, but you have to go with the flow. So, be cool, stop beating yourself up, and make a commitment to yourself to get better, slowly and gradually.You'll get there.And come back for a chat.YW=}}=


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## dreday (May 4, 2007)

ahhh thanks young windy. i just had to go to a pre wedding party for my cousin, and the wedding is tomorrow. it is a a nightmare. social situation galore. this training of my mind is really really difficult to apply in the real world. my therapist also gave me 2 books to read, living with chronic illness, and another called minding the body, mending the heart. sounds cheesy, i know. but ill try anything to cope.


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## young windy (May 14, 2007)

Hi Dreday,Hope you enjoy wedding, and hope you are feeling a little better.YW=}}=


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