# Social anxiety - any tools to reduce?



## mich2002 (Jan 14, 2002)

I am IBS-D for a just over a year I have gotten my physical symtoms under some control and have learnt to mentally deal with the symtoms better than I did but Ive noticed that whenever I have to go out to a social function whatever even if its dinner at someones house I get very nervous and usually have a small attack before I go or I get the worse butterflies.I have quite an active social life and have never been afraid before it doesnt stop me going but Id like to try and get it under control as it does make the situation unpleasant. Ive tried visualisation etc and nothing seems to help - the first attack I really recall happened during a meal at a restaurant and I messed in my pants noone realised what had happened but i was horrified, embarrassed and a whole range of mortifying emotions nothing like that has ever happened since (Im prepared now) but i think the whole 'it could happen' thing has got me spooked so now whenever i think "going out" I panic that I'll have an accident - any suggestions to break this mind pattern?I have looked into getting Mikes tapes but with the exchange rate I just can not afford them at the moment.


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## eric (Jul 8, 1999)

Saffie, I will see what I can come up with for you.This is a breathing and relaxation technique you should try for a couple weeks to start with though.Using Relaxation Coping with Functional Gastrointestinal Disorders http://www.med.unc.edu/medicine/fgidc/relax.htm Have you talked to your doctor about this and have you considered a mild antidepressent that you can take occasinally on an as needed basis such as Ativan or something?


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## mich2002 (Jan 14, 2002)

Thanks Eric, printed off article so will read - I don't like the idea of taking anti-depressents, but after reading through some of the posts here Im starting to realise how my thoughts are affecting my IBS think i need to get back to my Yoga and maybe go and see someone to sort out some of my thinking!


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## JoanneThomas (Jan 17, 2002)

Bachs flower remedies are pretty good (Well I like them anyway).Available in most health food stores. http://www.bachcentre.com/centre/remedies.htm


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## eric (Jul 8, 1999)

Saffie, in regards to Mike's tapes email him and tell him the situation and that you live in South Africa. he may be able to help you out and they are certainly worth it to try.







On your thoughts and IBS. I have a lot of information on all this and just knowing some of it can help. Yoga can also help so that is a good idea. Different relaxation techniques certainly have effects that are very helpful to IBS. Te two top treatments with the most research behind them are HT and cbt respectively. They are different then just relaxation techniques and that is important to know.This is some more info for you.The wisdom of the gut http://www.ibsgroup.org/other/usnews000403.htm Gut feelings the mind body connection http://www.ahealthyme.com/topic/mindbodygut and this is also very important to IBS http://www.mindbodymed.com/EducationCenter/fight.html Personally I believe if you can work on the problem without the use of medication then that is a good thing, although I am not in anyway against meds if they are needed and in some cases they are, its just that sometimes they are prescribed to fast for problems that may be dealt with more effectively and more holistically with a more natural approach that should be tried first I believe.Hope this helps and if you have any question or neeed anything let me know.This is on yoga and IBS. http://www.med.unc.edu/medicine/fgidc/YogaandIBS.htm


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## mich2002 (Jan 14, 2002)

Jo know about the Bach remedies in fact have been meaning to go get some Rescue Remedy think that may help when I get 'in a state'.Eric - have done alot of reading on this topic but the mindbodymed article really made sense - I have D with no pain and I fit eaxctly into the heightened sensations flight/fight scenario, have mini panic attacks where my heart races, I get dizzy, D etc but the D also comes on its own with no other symoms (and when I think im ok) - my reflexologist often tells me my adrenal function is out of 'wack'(and its usually when Im having GI problems). I also have a very overactive non-stop mind and think what would really benefit me is finding ways to slow my mind down and allow myself to almost 'take a break' from my thoughts they just dont stop even when i sleep i have vivid dreams - Yoga & breathing have helped but I often forget to use them. I have been checked out thoroughly physically (by a doctor that is - LOL!!)and theres nothing wrong so want to really focus on my mind and thought pattern. As an aside my IBS really became bad about 2 years ago at a time when I was going through a very hard time at work (which hasnt really resolved yet) and a difficult time in general Im 29 and experiencing a very definite pre-30 crisis (If you know astrology its a definite Saturn Return)so at a time when Im experiencing a state of emotional flux and indecision about my future I guess its not suprising that the physical response is GI (quite obvious actually) - now just need the tools to get through it!re medication I agree Ive never beena big pill popper and think in this case taking something to mask the symtoms are not going to benfit me in the long term if I can't sort of the root cause!Sorry for this long post but think it actually helped me sort some of my many thoughts out!!


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## Misty B (Aug 21, 2000)

What's the difference between CBT & hypnotherapy? Thanks.Misty


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## jb12979 (Oct 4, 2002)

Their is a book that has managed to allow me to get my life back without anxity dominating all the seconds of my day. The name of this book is Mentle Health Thru-Will training, by Dr. Abraham Low...They also have meetings all around the country. The group is called Recovery Inc. This is some powerfull stuff. It will train you to deal with the problem. But you have to dig in and stay on track for a minute, so this prosess can be incorporated into your life.


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## eric (Jul 8, 1999)

Safie, I am glad it helped you to read this material. The understanding some things can help you sort through them. There are options to take and combinations of things to do that can help.The drug comment stuck out some to me personally, it maynot be masking the problem so to speak, but helping neurotransmitters to regulate better in the body between the brain and the gut. The therapies can help with this also like cbt or ht or others depending on the source issue you going after and some help all the above. On the meds you have to way the good with the bad as in most things really. But they are still an option that can be very helpful sometimes.LOL on the checked out phyysically I got a laugh out of that.







It sounds like just thinking this through for you is giving you revalations.let us know what I can help with, I certainly have a ton more info..Misty B, some info on them for ibs.HTwww.ibshypnosis.comCBT http://ibscrohns.about.com/library/weekly/aa022201a.htm jb12979, thanks for the tip.


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## mich2002 (Jan 14, 2002)

Eric, I've started working with a councellor re some past issues just life stuff and how I saw things growing up which obviously has shaped my thinking now, he thinks Im holding in alot of anger but because I don't know what really caused this emotion Im having trouble releasing it - Ive read holding in anger can transform physically into acid, so I thinnk this may contribute to my problem - so while I do understand that there is a role for medication and I have no judgements whatsoever re people who use medication I just feel that I need to sort my thought patterns out in order to move forward.I don't know if CBT can help this though - trying to UNDERSTAND past learnt behaviour as opposed to just 'unlearning it', surely the cause would differ for each person and there is a lesson to be learnt in the cause?


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## eric (Jul 8, 1999)

Saffie, did you just start seeing a therapist recently?A lot of our personalities and they way we see life and your right shape our thinking is from growing up and what we have learned.Anger certainly can cause problems and getting to the root of feelings of anger could be a very good thing. CBT would actuallly help with this to alter the feelings of anger once the reasons behind the anger were understood. Anger is an emotion.I understand your feeling on meds and I actually agree with you on that for me as well as I know they are needed buut working through things I feel are very valuable in the long run.I think there are things that teach us to let go of the past and live for the future and new ways to learn view the world and make it a better place for ourselves. So I actually think CBT could help with this really. Say, your having feelings of anger, it is a way to understand the thought processes behind it and to change them into healthier thought processes, maybe by letting them go or maybe by addressing them, the cause the feelings themselves ect.. It is always a work in progress.On the gastric acid, I don't know your feeling on HT, but it can be very effective for that and I am posting this just for the information."Another study(2) found that being in a hypnotic state decreases muscle movements in the stomach. The same study demonstrated that the emotional state of happiness, created under hypnosis, suppresses gastric muscle activity but anger and excitement increase muscle movement in the stomach . A pair of other studies(3) showed that when volunteers were guided to use imagery of eating a delicious meal while they were under hypnosis, gastric acid secretion was increased by 89%, and that acid production of the stomach could also be deliberately decreased during hypnosis using hypnotic instructions." http://www.med.unc.edu/medicine/fgidc/hypnosis.htm


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## mich2002 (Jan 14, 2002)

Have only had one session with the councellor, so am officially in the ranks of the trendy I can know throw "well as I was telling my therapist..." into conversation and sound cool!!Mikes tapes are they more on the CBT or HT side? Interesting info re acid and HT! I dont know if thats my problem but it just shows how everything really is linked.Question what have you personally used and how have your symtoms changed?


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## way2phun (Oct 21, 2002)

Saffie I am new to researching IBS but your comments made me feel like maybe we were separated from birth. The active mind is such a pain sometimes. Unlike yourself I am starting to shy away from invitations to go out and play so I have decided to beat this thing down. You know it's an issue when you start dreaming about it, yikesss I used to have a great dream life. Anywaym any info that you have found to work I'd really appreciate hearing about. Thank you.


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## eric (Jul 8, 1999)

Saffie, sorry I missed this, Mike's tapes are gut specific clinical Hypnotherapy for IBS, which is different then CBT for IBS.Info about Mike's tapes and hypnotherapy and IBS.www.ibsaudioprogram.comand CBT info for IBS. http://ibscrohns.about.com/library/weekly/aa022201a.htm I used HT and Mike's tapes and this is a thread on me. http://www.ibsgroup.org/cgi-local/ubbcgi/u...c;f=17;t=000002 Welcome to the trendy.







LOL Welcome to the forum way2phun.


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## mich2002 (Jan 14, 2002)

Thanks Eric, lately Ive been monitoring my emotions so that when I become angry, scared etc I stop and detach myself from the emotion of the situation and look at it, its amazing that often when I really look at the situation I see so much more going on and that helps me identify why a certain emotion was evoked and sometimes I can see how I could have handled the situation differently or how I could have removed myself easily from the situation which caused the emotion its difficult and often I have trouble detaching but reading the info on CBT seems like this is a more formalised approach to doing something similar?Way2 my twin welcome to the BB - you'll find the more you read on the site the more you start identifying with people and that your really not alone, the best thing I got from this board is that the experience Im having is not unique and that it didnt 'happen to me' but that it has happened to alot of people and that you have a choice you can let it rule your life or you can beat it.That doesn't always mean you'll be symtom free but it does mean that you can maintain your quality of life. You'll learn to make adjustments many people have dietry requirements that they choose (Kosher, vegetarian etc)and they make adjustments so choose to make adjustments for health reasons, its just takes some planning ahead. Don't stop taking up those invitations.You didnt mention any info about yourself so Im not sure if what works for me will help you - but here goes Im a 29 yr old female with IBS-D I have no pain but have some bloating and get a terrible taste in my mouth after eating think it may be acid related. Ive had every test done and some small ulcers were found on my colon a year ago I went onto medication and the ulcers went Im now medication free and my symtoms have improved but still not 'normal' (whatever that means) I use Calcium which has helped and am careful with what I eat no dairy, alchole, caffeine, limited wheat, red meat and sugar although this is my vice I love sweet junk food. Getting enough sleep and Yoga also helps. But my biggest help is sorting out my thinking I find my IBS acts up the worst when im stressed, nervous etc I went through a stage when I felt very powerless about my life and this is when my symtoms first presented themselves we underestimate the power of the mind and spirit to direct us. Good luck.


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## Guest (Oct 23, 2002)

Sure... you bet! This is something that I learned from one of my older dance instructors as I expressed anxiety and fear over performing in front of people. He said to me.... "Evie... think of it as if you are giving them a treat." I thought about that for a while.... and I realized that what Barry Lynn was telling me was absolutely true.... that I AM really giving them a treat... Years before, when I was asked to take over the medical computer training in my department.. I was literally scared "****less". You should have seen me the first time I presented a course to a class of student nurses..... my knees knocked and the papers shook.... But I kept on taking deep breaths.... remembering that I knew a whole helluva lot more than any of them did about the topic at hand.... and after a bit of time.... I was a lot more comfortable with conducting a class.These days... it's old hat to me. I LOVE training..... and I LOVE performing.... !!Yes... it is true... during the year when I was off medication.... I became more anxious, fatigued and it was more difficult for me to engage in these activities. Now that I am back on medication..... and feeling much better..... I experience relatively little anxiety. I was so composed at my dance presentation last Sunday that I even surprised myself. I had total fun with that performance and people laughed until they cried... and the asked for more... so I am going to repeat this piece and work on a new piece for the Christmas Concert Series.When I am at a social gathering, where I used to be the shy wallflower... I am now often the life of the party... So the next time you feel anxious or nervous.... use medication if you need to.... and tell yourself that you are good.... and you can do it!You may be pleasantly surprised how your "change of thought" will affect your bathroom visits.Remember... those other people that you are concerned about whom you may feel are judging you ..... are only human, themselves. Why who knows? They might be sweating bullets because you are so attractive, congenial and fun to be around.... "Never let 'em see ya sweat"And if you do have an "accident"... just don't draw attention to it. Compose yourself and take care of it calmly. Being nervous and upset about it isn't going to make it better. Being in control......... IS.We all have the capability of being in control... and it's just there waiting for us to tap into it.It took me almost 50 years to figure it out... but by golly... I'm there... and I hope that my experiences can help.Hugs, Evie


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## Guest (Oct 23, 2002)

The hubby's response to social anxiety is to "Picture them all naked".Works for him....


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## eric (Jul 8, 1999)

Works for me and have use that one. LOL


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## mich2002 (Jan 14, 2002)

Someone recently told me something which really helps: when you walk into a room dont worry about what they think of you worry about what you think of them!!When someone intimidates me I think of them on the loo its something everyone has to do and believe me it humbles everyone!! - LOL I live in a bronzed beach bodies country picturing some people naked is just as intimidating!!!


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## Guest (Oct 24, 2002)

Ok Well, then... Saffie...... picture them all wearing red, velvet thongs over their white biker shorts.


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## way2phun (Oct 21, 2002)

Saffie thanks for the info and you're right the more I read the more I'm understanding that other people are faced with the same challenges I am. I would love to get to the point where when I'm stepping on a plane I'm not thinking about the fact that there's only two bathrooms or that WOW this would be a REALLY BAD place to suddenly get sick but these are the times when I feel out of control and I'm not sure how you gain control in those situations. I too don't do dairy, limited alcohol (red wine seems to make my stomach better) no chocolate, try to stay away from caffeine, I try to be good about what I eat. I would love to break the cycle my mind goes through every time a situation comes up where I feel out of control, i.e. taking clients out in a limo, driving with people and hitting traffic, flying, all those instances where you know if I get sick immediately and can't find a bathroom what am I going to do. It's just plain awful I say. Right now Immodium helps me a great deal and working out 6 days a week also helps but I have the entire US as a territory and have to travel and entertain alot so the combination of the stress I feel when I travel and taking poeple out just makes things worse. Has anyone else had luck with hypnotic therapy? maybe I should give that a try or the tapes that are mentioned earlier. If anyone has had good luck managing the mental aspect by any means please let me know. I really appreciate this forum, I know it's going to help me either beat this thing or manage it better. Thank you Ron


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## eric (Jul 8, 1999)

Ron, I will post a little later today for you on this and will try to help you out.Why do you travel and entertain so much?Also do you travel out to Oregon at all?


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