# MOM DOESN'T UNDERSTAND. I FEEL LIKE I'M ALONE.



## austinlink23 (Jun 26, 2007)

I am 14 years old and I am in 8th grade. My name is Austin and I have been suffering with IBS-D for about 5 years now. About a year ago (and still goes on today) I have been having a lot of 'accidents' in school. Kids have been making fun of me, and no girls will look at me because of this. Since I was public humiliated over and over again, I needed something to do. I went out and bought a pack of Adult Diapers. I now wear them every day, and my accidents have been less worse. But my problem is, my mother. My mom is a single parent, and I am an onley child. I do not wear my diapers to bed, so I usually wake up with soiled sheets. My mom doesn't know how I feel about this. She usually abuses me. She screams at me, tells me I'm stupid, It's my fault, and make me clean it, and I am not allowed out on weekends. I wish I had someone to talk to about this, as I sit up in my room, alone and grounded. How do I convince my mom it's not my fault?


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## Cherrie (Sep 1, 2006)

Hi Austin, I'm so sorry you're having such a tough time with ibs and with your mom. Do you have a sympathetic doctor? Or is there a teacher/counsellor at school that you could trust and talk to? Maybe having a doctor or a teacher talk to your mom from a professional's point of view would make her change her attitudes? My heart goes out to you and hope your mom will understand better.


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## Jannybitt (Oct 13, 2006)

AUSTIN:YOU ARE NOT AT FAULT!!! IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!!! I hope I'm making that really clear to you!







It concerns me that you are soiling yourself when you sleep, because that's generally not indicative of IBS. A trip to your dr is probably necessary. You should not be having to wear adult diapers to school. There is medication out there to help, and therapies. For your mother to ground you for something you can't control is WRONG!!! When you say she abuses you, do you mean by all her yelling, or does she get physical with you? Is there a relative you trust you could talk to about what is going on here. I'm here for you, Austin. I'm a mom, also, and I have a daughter, so I know about kids some







a little anyway







I want to help you the best I know how, but there isn't much I or we can do on this end except let you know that you're not alone! You can share anything here with us. You have to take some steps though, if you want to help yourself. If it was truly IBS, I would suggest getting permission to use Imodium before going to school in the morning. But, I really feel like you need to go to the DR and tell him everything that is going on especially the night-time soiling. You can ask to speak to him alone, also if you want. You have a right. You need to find someone who will be your advocate? Do you know what that is? I'm sure you do, but anyway, it is someone who would go to bat for you when you aren't getting the help you need. What is your relationship like with your mom outside of this situation with your stomach? Will she listen to you about other things? You can PM me anytime you like, and I know others will be willing to share and try to help also. There is a great bunch of people on here. Cherrie is terrific!! I hope you post back answers to some of these questions. Maybe you can build up some trust with us, and that will give you courage to get some help with this problem. Take care. Tomorrow, I want you to go to your mirror, look in it, and say "IT IS NOT MY FAULT!!! THIS IS NOT MY FAULT. I HAVE A MEDICAL PROBLEM AND I AM NOT TO BLAME!!!" OK?


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## Cherrie (Sep 1, 2006)

Hi Jan -- THANK YOU for posting this! Austin -- Jan's advice is wonderful. Please find someone who can be your advocate and if possible speak to your mom adult-to-adult and seriously for you.P.S., Jan, I've removed the double post for you


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## Jannybitt (Oct 13, 2006)

Cherrie said:


> Hi Jan -- THANK YOU for posting this! Austin -- Jan's advice is wonderful. Please find someone who can be your advocate and if possible speak to your mom adult-to-adult and seriously for you.P.S., Jan, I've removed the double post for you


Thanks, Cherrie Blossom!!


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## sazzy (Nov 27, 2006)

HeyaHun, that must be so difficult. I'm lucky in which my ibs doesn't usually affect my school or social life. I think you're amazing to still face school and everything, I'd have completely shut down in your situation, I don't know where i'd be if mine was that bad.The severity of your symptoms is very extreme, I'm sure there is something that the Drs can do to make this less frequent, there are loads of meds out there that can help ibs and different people find different things help. It's difficult that your mum doesn't understand and is so cross about it, it must be stressful for her though so try and work it out. Try and speak with her and tell her that you really need some support right now, grounding will not make you any better and is a ridiculous idea. I think that what she is hoping is that you'll miraculously get better over night, and it's time for her to realise that won't happen, she needs to start acting a little more responsible and more like a parent. Talk to her when you and her are at a relaxd point in the day, get a few minutes to just sit with her and explain to her that you are not doing any of this on purpose and you need her support. Remember that all of us on here know what it feels like to have such an embarassing and frustrating condition, feel free to post here when ever you like. I almost always reply on the teens and child's forum as I can relate to people my own age more, so i'm always here to talk. Don't shut your feelings to yourself, we can talk to you on here and hopefully some person who isn't narrow minded will talk to you about it. IBS, does not make you a bad person in any way and the fact that you're trying to make the best out of it is great. Keep your chin up, things will get better with time.


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## 14989 (Aug 3, 2006)

You need to see a doctor. Those symptoms are far beyond IBS.


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## Patient (Jul 5, 2007)

Hi Austin,First of all, I'll tell you that you're most certainly not alone, as you can see with all the people on this forum; which doesn't even account for the entire population of IBS sufferers. Like what you're going through, my mother didn't understand that me being sick nearly every day while I was in highschool was a real issue. She thought it was a way for me to just get out of school because I hated it. Well, unfortunately, despite how many times I sat down and tried to tell her the problems I was experiencing; she'd just shrug it off and say it was my poor diet or because I'd stay up late. To her, it was easier to ignore a problem, then to fix it. Finally, when I graduated, she began to take notice because I still wouldn't go and hang out with anyone. Eventually, she took me to see the doctor, and he had to explain what IBS was to her; which finally got her to understand how severe it is. Those years while I was in highschool though, I was humiliated on a daily basis like you are going through. It's really rough going through that because nobody can be so understanding, particularly with all the drama school brings. Being popular, having friends, and all that jazz. Like Janny said, you really do need to visit a doctor if it is extreme as soiling yourself while you're asleep. Your mom, unfortunately, won't likely realize how severe your situation is until she hears it from a doctor; like my mother did. Nobody really understands things like this unless they're walking the same path, they think it's something we can control, and something we can just make better by thinking positive. Oh, but if they only knew. Luckily for me, I've got medicine that keeps me in check most of the time, though I still have my share of nights where I have to run to the bathroom; praying I make it in time.Your best bet would be to speak with your school counselor about what's going on, or a teacher you can trust; both are obligated not to discuss private issues with other students and people. As for the other students who laugh and poke fun at you, don't let them get you down. They're not worth the time of day if they can't understand what's going on with your body that causes you to have accidents. Not much I can say about your mother though, unfortunately, though if she is abusing you; you might consider getting some help with that too. My father was abusive towards me, and we got into quite a bit of physical fights on a daily basis before my mother left him and took me and my sister with her. I'm not sure if anything I've said has helped or not, but my thoughts and wishes go out to you during this rough time. You've gotta walk through hell to get out of it! As for feeling alone, don't. We're all here with you, and while I can't speak for anyone else, I'm here if you need someone to talk to as well. Keep us posted on how things go.Take care of yourself and keep that chin up.


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