# Exposure therapy CBT



## tallgal (May 15, 2003)

So I had my first proper CBT appointment yesterday, my best friend came with me and well, the session was very interesting.I have been advised that exposure therapy would be a good way for me to deal with my anxiety and IBS. I was wondering what results people who have tried it have had with exposure therapy. I start my 'homework' tonight, and my first task will deal with my anxiety in queuing. I have to catch a train tonight to go and visit my parents for the weekend and have been advised to stand in the queue at the ticket booth and when I feel my anxiety kick in I will have to acknowledge it rather than calm myself down. She doesn't want me to try distract myself from the anxiety, rather, I am to concentrate on it, in fact pshyc myself up even more until the anxiety subsides naturally. SHe has advised that when I get near to the front of the queue I need to get out of it and go round to the back to start queuing again and again until the anxiety naturally subsides. Over the next few weeks until my second appointment I am going to be doing an hour of homework daily. My best friend was invited to come along as when I face the bars and restaurants she will be the one with me. We have been told not to sit and chat about the usual rubbish we seem to be able to fill time with, but focus on my anxiety, when it pops up, I cannot distract myself by going to the bathroom or the bar or outside for air, I need to concentrate on it and think to myself 'I am going to be sick' 'I am going to faint' 'I am going to poop myself'. My mate IS NOT allowed to calm me down, in fact she has to egg me on and tell me 'yeah you are going to be sick' etc etc Doesn't this sound like fun?!?!?Anyway, my CBT was telling me that by calming myself down I am not dealing with the anxiety, in fact over time it will get worse (my anxiety over the last few months has advanced with alarming speed). We are going to face this head on and deal with it so that I can have my life back.I am annoyed with myself that I have let it get this bad, but NO MORE, I will not get worse, I will get back out there!!I am very positive about this treatment, and whilst it does not sound particularily pleasant, I am going to do this, I do not care how stupid I am going to look getting in and out of queues because I am going to get better. My CBT was saying that she is treating an agrophobic who hasn't left the house in 12 years, she is now going out 3 times a day to her local park and standing in the middle of the green and shouting DIE DIE COME ON DIE, as this is what she thinks will happen when she is outside, however, my CBT has recently received a postcard from the agrophobic who is sunning herself in Portugal, how amazing is that?Anyway, I am starting to ramble, so I shall head off, but anyone who has had any experiences with Exposure therapy please post any thoughts or comments you may have on the issue.Many thanks xx


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## AZMom (Oct 13, 1999)

Interesting. I would have thought that there would be a few sessions first on recognizing and changing negative thought patterns to positive ones.I'm hesitant to post this.Here's the thing. With me, it was always that the panic attacks led to a D attack. They actually brought on D, not just feelings of it. It was hard (impossible) to stand in line til the urge passed. When I had to leave to go to the loo, I felt like a failure. Leaving a line was urgent and it seemed like my fears did come true. Then I'd say things to myself like, "See, I knew that would happen" and of course it keeps happening as I have set up this pattern. I've done CBT and it did help. It helped me to listen to my self-talk and learn how what I was saying to myself brought on symptoms. It taught me not to fear my fearful thoughts and lowered my anxiety. Mike's tapes helped me really helped me more to get over the IBS and panic. Now I have no problems in line or doing things that used to cause me panic. In fact, the thoughts don't even occur to me anymore.Best of luck with your CBT. AZ


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## jo-jo (Aug 19, 2001)

Good luck to you, you will beat this for sure! You can do it, go go go!


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## tallgal (May 15, 2003)

AZ those were real concerns I had to, what if I do actually do the things I am worried about, but then I am sick of thinking 'what if', it's a vicious cycle and if I do, I really need to think SO WHAT! My other concern is, by doing my daily homework, what would happen if I went out and didn't get anxious, obviously that is great, but in terms of exposure therapy not so sure. My CBT did say that she had a girl very similar to me who when she was going out to do her homework would get anxious only to have it dissapear immediately, the CBT had gone out with her and tried to goad her into becomming anxious and again as soon as it appeared it would go again just as quickly. I have a feeling this will be the case with me to some extent because since my initial consultation up to the appointment yesterday my attitude has changed, I suppose I need to change my thinking from 'What if' to BRING IT ON!!Thank you for your comments, I will watch with interest any other posts on this matter, thank you so much for your support A-Z, thank you x


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## trbell (Nov 1, 2000)

Congratulations, tallgirl! the first step is often the hardest.If you don't mind talking about it and if you don't think it will interfere wih your treatmnt I'd be interested in hearing more? i heard they were doing some things in England they weren't doing here yet. just don't let yourselfget involved in an argument. The bb right now seems to generate them (and i do play a part in this, I know)Bada


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## tallgal (May 15, 2003)

Absolutely Bada, I will keep posting regarding my experiences as I know it will help me keep track of my progress. I am happy to email you if you want and let you know how I have found things. My next appointment isn't until Sept 10th and then I will be given new homework to try, am looking forward to all of this and will keep my chin up throughout!


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## trbell (Nov 1, 2000)

i think your experiences could be real helpful to others if you want to share. you might also want o look at what boniei has started on CBT in the general forum. you seem to have enough sense not to let this confuse your treatment.As for my selfish interests here, I'll email you.Bada


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## tallgal (May 15, 2003)

Look forward to it Bada!


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## AZMom (Oct 13, 1999)

I like your reply "SO WHAT!" That is a great technique to learn. I was told to learn to "under-react," same thing really. "No big deal" was my catch phrase. "So What!" works great too. The nice thing is that "so what" can lead to other things, such as:"I might have an anxiety attack""So what""So other people might notice""So what""So they might think I was weird""So what"So they might not like me""So what"etc, etc, etc.It really could show someone that there really is nothing to fear.AZ


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## tallgal (May 15, 2003)

I totally agree with you AZ, as me and my friend walked home from my session we were talking about it all, and she said, the difference between me and you is that I will think, 'so what',and because you don't have that, things are more difficult, I understand that now, and it is something you can change. So there we go, as my mum says, what is the worst that could happen, and if so, SO WHAT!!Well I am off to face the world, or rather shopping with my grandmother!


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## GoLightly (Mar 23, 2003)

Just wanted to say thanks to tallgal and AZ for this discussion it has been really helpful for me, to know there are people in the same situation as me (i.e mainly anxiety-induced D) and who are successfully doing something about.AZ, your description of standing in line sounds just like me!


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## Marius (Jan 26, 2003)

You are fortunate to have an astute therapist who gives good advice. No, it's not going to be "fun"; that's not the point. If the theory is correct (and I'm beginning to believe it is) our IBS-D symptoms are being generated by our minds to prevent repressed anger, fear, or guilt from surfacing from the unconcious mind. It WANTS you to focus on the symptoms it's generating, so as not to deal with these unpleasant emotions. By defying the mind's wishes and focusing on the psychological aspect, we prevent the mind from distracting us from what's really going on, and hopefully get better. It's going to take time and courage on your part to face this--it is very difficult for any of us to accept that there isn't an infection or disease at work here. You have a great opportunity in front of you. Keep telling yourself that you'll no longer be fooled by the diversions your psyche is throwing at you; you have the power within you to make this stop. Do the same thing if you start to feel other physical manifestations like neck or back pain, asthma-like syptoms, etc. Above all, pay attention and report what happens to your therapist. Best wishes for feeling better!


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## tallgal (May 15, 2003)

Well, day 5 and here is a summary of my homework over the last few days:1: I had to deal with a heavily delayed train journey, but I made the queuing up part my homework as this is where I get the most anxious. The queues were out the door when I got there and so I waited in line and when the anxiety kicked in (very low) I made myself wait it out. I went to the back of the queue when I realised that I was still feeling anxious and the anxiety seemed to leave me very quickly. Not to be put off I continued my journey staying as calm as I felt when the original anxiety wained. 2: Shopping with grandmother and mum, well it was difficult as it tends to be with my grandmother and a lot of my attention was on her and making sure she was ok. I felt the anxiety rise a few times whilst we shopped but when I thought 'bring it on' it subsided very rapidly. We then went for some tea and sat outside in a lovely courtyard. I had instructed my parents to egg on my anxiety when it started to rise, and my mum took it very literally in an effort to help me, I had noted that there was only one loo and it was for girls and boys! I mentioned this to mum, and ever helpful she said in the loudest voice 'well don't worry you will be blocking that up soon'. I was in hysterics laughing at this because she was trying to be helpful, but a) I wasn't feeling anxious and







she picked the one moment to say this when the CUTEST bloke I have seen for a while was smiling at me, oh I could have died! Anyway, I did start to feel increasingly anxious as we sat there, and my mum saw this and declared loudly that we were now going to have ice cream, and we were going to sit there until we were done. I was doing well, and the anxiety did reduce quite rapidly and I felt it was a good day.3: Well it looked like we weren't doing much on the bank holiday Sunday, so I asked my dad to drive me to the supermarket so that I could pick up some goodies. I made sure I picked the longest queue, in fact the woman in front had bought everything on discount and so had to wait AGES for the till girl to get things moving, but again the anxiety went down very quickly.4: Well this was the toughest day, I had a long car journey to the train station and it was a very close call, I had my dad egging me on so much that I really thought, this is the day I have my accident, this is it, but we sat in the car until it died down and it eventually did. I then had to queue for my ticket (no anxiety) and then the journey itself. When ever I felt the anxiety come on I would say to myself 'bring it on' and it would dissapear. It is almost like now that my mind knows that I am addressing this and that I can deal with it, the anxiety doesn't come on as much, and when it does it calms very quickly. Well I am off to the pub after work tonight for an hour for today's homework, and it will be the first really social homework, i.e. out with my peers, and well already I am feeling anxious and that is part of my problem at 10:15 am I am stressing about going to the pub at 5:15, how stupid, well I am not going to stress, bring it on!


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## trbell (Nov 1, 2000)

yeah, bring it on! you're doing great.Bada


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## GoLightly (Mar 23, 2003)

Wow, you are doing so well!! I am really taking inspiration from you. I'm amazed that you manage to sit in the car at the train station until the episode went away, that is impressive, that would have been my worst time.I just wonder what you do/say to yourself during the day at home if you are getting anxious say about your night out, do you stop yourself from going then too?!


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## bonniei (Jan 25, 2001)

That is amazing. I did something similar when I went on a plane after reading some CBT books. I went on a plane and deliberately farted. That was my worst fear on the plane. A sound escaped in the process and so did smell. I was with my hub and that was good. Well I thought people would yell at me and to my surprise I found no one did. This released my anxiety so much I ate whatever I wanted to on the plane and did not have a farting incident. I was relaxed enough to be able to control myself after that. I guess my hub beng with me really helped because I asked if he noticed the sound and he was so swet he said, "I wondered what it was. Don't worry people will think I did it. His acceptance made me realize I would not be abandoned by him atleast. That gave me such a secure feeling.


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## tallgal (May 15, 2003)

Ah Bonniei, I would love that kind of back up but infortunately I am a single gal! That to some extent is one of the reasons I am doing this, as I had a bad break up a couple of years ago, I then impossed some serious single time, but now I am ready to get back out there and meet my man!Last night I went to a bar down the road from work. I took a newspaper so that it looked like I was engrossed in that, but I just sat there and waited for the panic to set in. It did eventually come on, but as I have found over the last few days, it was very mild. So when it did appear, I did as I was supposed and concentrated on it. For one split second I thought 'oh my I need to go', but it subsided fairly rapidly. Ohhh the feeling when it goes is just the nicest feeling in the world. It is then when I try and remember Mike's tapes and concentrate on the feeling of comfort. My hour was up so quickly, I couldn't believe it. SO tonight after work I am off to a bar again, or maybe to meet my mate who has to buy groceries, that way, while she shops I can stand in the queues.To the person who asked what I do before I go out (sorry SO bad with names) I have to rate my anxiety before a task as well, and I have noticed a steady and slight drop in my feelings of anxiety, I only usually need to go immediately as I leave the house, or work, but I have thought to myself 'bring it on' and the feelings do dim some what. Will update again tomorrow, I really hope this is of some benefit to those who are thinking of CBT.


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## bonniei (Jan 25, 2001)

tallgal, what you are saying is really helping me. It is exposing me to the ins and outs of CBT. Thanks. Keep us updated!


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## tallgal (May 15, 2003)

Right so, day 6 of the treatment and the homework went well.I went to a bar down the road and met my friend. My friend had also come along to my CBT session, although I hadn't seen her since then. SO we sit down and she says really loudly, Oh we arn't allowed to talk are we! So after some funny looks, we came to a happy medium whereby we sat and chatted and she would keep asking, 'how are you feeling?' I had three moments of panic, the first two were very low on my scale (of 0-8) probably a 2-3 and straight away my mate was asking me to describe exactly how I was feeling, and that would pretty much see it off. Then the couple sat on the table next to us had their food served and the smell just kept wafting over, usually this wouldn't be a problem (especially as the place we were in serves amazing food) but for some reason it sent my body crazy and I had a very quick and intense feeling of panic, I would say I hit a 6-7 on my scale, and my pal was straight in there, 'how are you feeling, tell me exactly how it feels, are you going to faint, are you going to poop, are you going to be sick????' it wound me up so much and at the same time I was thinking that everyone around me would think I was mad, but then I thought ahhh who cares, I was aware of it just dissapearing and I felt much better straight away. I would say I went down to a 1 on the scale and I could only feel the odd gurgle, and so after the hour was up we left. Tonight it is off to a bar in the city straight from work, so fingers crossed!


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## bonniei (Jan 25, 2001)

tall gal, this thread should go down in the classics of the board. I am so happy that tom got you to share it with us and you are sharing it all with us. AZmom the "So What" technique is like the Vertical Arrow technique which I posted in the main forum.


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## tallgal (May 15, 2003)

Ahh Bonniei, your thread nearly made me cry! It makes it easier for me to post the treatment when I know that I am getting encouragement, not just from those around me, but from you guys as well.Don't know if you saw in the Meeting Place, but I decided that my treat for doing this was to fulfill my dream and hit Las Vegas for a couple of days. Can't afford it, but I really want to focus on something exciting to me, and so as our friends at Mastercard say...Flight to Las Vegas ï¿½450Accomodation in Vegas ï¿½300Fulfilling Lucy's dream of visiting Vegas, priceless!Now THAT is something to focus on!


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## bonniei (Jan 25, 2001)




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## trbell (Nov 1, 2000)

You guys are going grat guns without the exprts!Bada


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## BQ (May 22, 2000)

Tallgal, Been watching your progress here. This exposure form of CBT therapy seems to be quite effective for you. I wish you continued success and know for sure you are already a "winner" even before you go to Vegas.BQ


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## bonniei (Jan 25, 2001)

LOL! The experts sometimes get in the way of real learning. Sometimes it is best for the sufferer to explain what she went through and what helped her than all the gurus in the world proselytizing!


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## Guest (Aug 29, 2003)

Very happy for you, TallGal... and agree with AZ on the hypno.Evie


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## tallgal (May 15, 2003)

Day 7Well last night's task was dissapointing in one sense and great in another.I went into the city after work and met my friend in a painfully trendy bar, that was relatively busy due to the after work trade. I felt anxious whilst getting down there (because I was late) but it was very low on the scale. Then whilst we were there I felt only a couple of low surges of panic, but they would subside immediately. My mate was trying to psych me up and we were talking about how horrible it was. I just was not getting high enough on my scale of anxiety, which obviously is great because there was no stress, but worrying because it is not in keeping with the treatment. I stayed for just over the hour and then left to leave my pal and her bloke to have a nice dinner. So for the weekend I am thinking about what I should be doing, tonight I will go to a bar straight from work (boy this homework would be great if I actually drank alcohol!) this time with a different friend or perhaps alone. I thought on Saturday I would go to an American style diner a friend of mine works in and have an early dinner, then Sunday I was going to go to the Supermarket to deal with some more queues. I may also call my CBT today and have a chat about what I should do when I am not freaking out during my homework. I suppose it could just be a very positive sign that perhaps she was right and that we had caught matters before they progressed to a much deeper level. All in all I think I just need to get back out there, I have LET this thing keep me indoors and it has done me no favours. To get back out there is to beat this.


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## bonniei (Jan 25, 2001)

tall gal what counts in CBT is that you tried to do the homework. If you didn't get high enough on the anxiety scale that is probably a good sign- that you are beating it. Congrats!


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## tallgal (May 15, 2003)

Well Monday morning and boy have I got the blues, as I type this I am trying not to cry, I absolutely hate it when I get a bout of depression because it just hits so hard. My homework over the weekend was mixed, Friday night drinks no problem, but on Saturday I popped to the supermarket (not homework) and I freaked out totally, I mean I wandered round the shop and when I got to the queue I just started shaking and shaking and just couldn't calm. When it came to sign my cheque it totally wasn't my signature and I cannot believe I wasn't questioned about it. When I spoke to my buddy last night (she had been away) she went mad at me and told me I should have stayed with it and bought it on, but it was just so bad and came from no where that I just had to get out of there. I wanted to just drop my shopping and get out of there but I did make it throught the queue, but she was right I should have stayed until calm. Well that just put me on such a downer, even though I went for dinner at a local diner and was absolutely fine, I didn't even need to go to the bathroom which ALWAYS happens, boy am I confused. Just generally feel so low right now, I need a good kick up the arse!!Yesterday went to the movies to see Pirates of the Carribean, and WOW what a movie, no weird behaviour just watched the movie and then walked home. I am thinking perhaps I need to do the homework alone, for the majority of the homework I have met up with one or other of my two closest friends, perhaps being around them calms me down, so tonight I will go it alone.I am so tired of feeling blue, I need to make some positive changes in my life, I feel lonely even though I have lots of friends in the area.Oh just ignore me, it is Monday morning, I'm hardly going to be leaping with joy am I?


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## tallgal (May 15, 2003)

I am just so annoyed at how low I am feeling, as the end of the working day approaches all I can think of is skulking off home and getting cosy, I know I need to go and do my homework, but this is the first 'resistance' I have had and hang on what am I stressing for, I just need to go and do it, sorry guys needed a vent!


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## trbell (Nov 1, 2000)

Do you think you're resisting or did your therapist tell you that. Why not just tell yourself you don't feel like it today and do it tomorrow? i know that sometimes I 'overthink' things and I doubt there is any time pressure? Do it, but tomorrow is okay as is the next day.Bada


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## bonniei (Jan 25, 2001)

tall gal yes sometimes homework can be a bit daunting. But it seems you have already accomplished a lot- you realize you are in control of your anxiety. Please celebrate that if you are going to stay at home and be cozy.


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## r-sue (Aug 25, 2003)

I am so grateful to you for sharing this experience with us. I think that you must be a very strong person to tolerate these homework sessions. I think maybe I could use some homework myself.... One thing I don't understand, when you are talking about waiting it out, are you only referring to the anxiety, or are you needing to go D and you are not allowed to go to the potty? Also, are you allowed to do your homework assisted by drugs, say immodium?


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## AZMom (Oct 13, 1999)

Hmmmmm, let's see. You've been doing your homework and it's been kinda easy. The panic wasn't coming on like you had anticipated, and you were not sure if that was good or not. Next time you go out you have a major panic attack! I think your body gave you what your mind asked for!







Remember, this is homework. It's practice. This is not a test! You've learned something from it, so move on from there. I think you're doing great. It's so hard what you're doing, and you've been an inspiration to others. Don't be so hard on yourself. You deserve a big pat on the back. Keep up the good work!AZ


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## tallgal (May 15, 2003)

So new day, new attitude, I was SO DOWN yesterday I hate it when I'm like that because today, when I feel better I look back and think what's the fuss for Lucy, you are fine!Well I did go to the bar, great no problems, sat there on my own, went to a bar I knew would be busier and didn't take a paper or anything, just sat there, guess what, no probs!I can really see that the pub/bar thing is slowly becomming less of a problem, however, I left the bar, visited a friend, fine no problems, then went home had a very nice piece of steak for dinner and settled in for a relaxing evening with my faviourite soap and the new Sen and the City series (which is not a patch on the previous!). Another friend called, it was getting kind of late, but I said come round for a cup of tea and a chat before I go to bed. This was an old friend of mine whom I love to bits, it was nice to see him and we chatted for a while. I was all cosy on my sofa with a throw (British summer officially over) and before I knew it I could feel my heart racing, I mean beating like I had never felt before it was going crazy. SO obviously my first reaction is to get Dan out of the house so that I can cool down, but then I thought what is the point in that?? So I didn't say anything to Dan and concentrated on the feeling and was thinking 'come on then, come on then' kinda of chanting it in my head, I made myself think right this is bad, concentrate on it. It was strange, it went on for about 3-4 minutes, right at 8 of my 1-8 scale but then even when it was still happening, I could almost sence that the end of it was coming, then ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh it stopped.It annoyed me that it happened in my house, but hey what are you going to do. I am glad that I fully faced it. I do feel however, that I have two very separate issues. There is the going out socially, the IBS thing that rears its ugly head when I am out and about and suddenly I will need to go to the bathroom, but to some extent I can deal with it, it's been happening for the last 7 years and I have got by. Then there is the other bit, the freaked out bit, that is now appearing to me to be a separate issue, that is the shakey, heart racing thing that really scares me. Can't see a link myself, but I have another appointment next week and I will certainly be talking to her about it and modifying my homework to explore that issue a bit more. Well Rsue, I don't take any drugs, I bought some Immodium the other day for the first time in 5 years. When I first got IBS I would take about a pack a day, this was not good. I am not great with taking medications, no weird hangups or anything like that, but I don't like to take things because I believe it makes me weaker, not a weaker person but weaker physically. Saying that I did buy some recently just to have with me, I have taken one of them, and regretted it, I KNOW this is an anxiety effect and not an infection therefore I need to stop pandering to it.I know that is seems strange because like many, the anxiety actually makes me want to go, without being coarse, I think I must have the strongest butt muscles in the world because boy can I hang on. As I mentioned earlier, I seem to have almost got used to the sensation of needing to go, whilst I DO need to go, I know that when I leave the situation I am in, it will pass and I won't. Trust me sometimes, I think no I am going to go, but I have to trust that I can deal with it. For a long time I wouldn't use a public bathroom for the purpose of D, but now, I am slowly coming round to the idea, and then my CBT said no, do not go, do not calm yourself down in anyway, don't look for the toilet, don't start chatting, don't do anything that would make you feel better, totally concentrate on the awful feelings and they will (and she assures me it is a fact) subside naturally. Ahhhhhhhhh big post, suppose I should get on with my day job!


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## trbell (Nov 1, 2000)

Speaking as a poet I think your story, at least from when you started posting on the bb here, could help others. You're a very inspirational lady.Bada


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## bonniei (Jan 25, 2001)

Cool story, tall gal about the friend in your house. I agree it is very inspirational.


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## tallgal (May 15, 2003)

Well it has all got a bit strange, and I am not a happy bunny at all. I actually think I am going crazy, not the technical term of course, but I do not feel like me, argh, not getting this across in the right way, this is me, I am typing this, this is the person I am, my friends and family know me as this person, but there is a very different side of me, and I am starting to feel this side is taking over. This is not schizophrenia or anthing like that, but the 'crazy' side of me seems to winning, and I am getting very upset. I CANNOT STOP MY THOUGHTS THEY ARE CONSTANT AND DON'T EVER REST. I am not worrying about anything specifically, just can't turn it off and chill, but the irony is, I am a very chilled person and live a chilled lifestyle. It seems that the IBS has little to do with the panic, the homework I have been doing has illusatrated the fact that I can almost live with the IBS, it has been that long that I am used to it. The panic attacks I am having, seem nothing to do with the IBS, but I will of course have to discuss this with my CBT on Wednesday for my next appointment. I have been going out to pubs and bars for the last three weeks, with no problems, I have however, had three panic attacks in the same period and I don't like the fact that they are stopping me from doing things. I have written about the other two, but on Saturday I went into town, I knew the shop I needed to go to, but when I got there I couldn't walk in there, my heart was pounding, I had to sit down until I was calm. I had three attempts at getting into the shop and couldn't without freaking. I was so angry, how and why did it happen, I don't know, I was hungry (and read on Sunday that a carbohydrate heavy diet would supposedly help with panic attacks) but I then walked home and went into several shops to get my bits and pieces, but I couldn't go into the shop I wanted to and I felt gutted.I am looking forward to my next appointment, I am wondering if perhaps I need to think about some kind of medication, I have always brushed it aside before, but now I am thinking HELP me, I actually feel like I am going crazy, but I cannot stop it. Sorry guys, I havn't lost hope, just seem to have changed direction! Hopefully Wednesday will be helpful.


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## trbell (Nov 1, 2000)

sometimes progress isn't a straight line kind of thing and there can be zigs and zags.Bada


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## california123 (Jun 8, 2003)

Hi tallgal,I used to have panic attacks and once I got on an anti-anxiety med I was able to learn how to deal with them and eventually was able to stop the meds. My D started in January out of the blue and then I had it daily(5 times in the morning and then again after dinner)until June, when I tried anti-anxiety meds. The D stopped within 48 hours. Working with my psychiatrist, I've now reduced that med and added Effexor which is anti-anxiety and anti-depression as well as known to cause constipation. I am back to normal in the bathroom department. When I asked the shrink if I seemed calmer on the meds, he said that I always seemed to him to be very calm, no matter the circumstances, so often those of us who seem laid back may be keeping our anxiety inside and then it comes out in those attacks. Anxiety attacks are very hard to overcome, and many people just say you have to relax. But we know it is impossible to relax when you feel like you're going to die! The right meds can help you get some control and once you begin to feel calmer, it will be much easier to deal with things. Good luck and take care. (Remember, nobody says a migraine sufferer is weak because they take pain meds or someone with GERD is weak because they take Prevacid.)


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## tallgal (May 15, 2003)

California, you have really helped me there, I am going to ask my therapist is she thinks they may be beneficial, I know she is keen for me to carry on without, but the speed at which this has progressed perhaps it may help. Again thankyou that helped!


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## california123 (Jun 8, 2003)

Tallgal, you are more than welcome. Please report back on how things go. Take care.


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## bonniei (Jan 25, 2001)

tall gal many of us here are on meds. But as you say you have learnt you can live with IBS it is the anxiety which is the problem. Anxiety becomes the monster it does when we refuse to face it. We always think there is something wrong with feeling anxious and so try to deny it and then it becomes a full fledged monster. I think now you are reaching the root of the problem and I am sure that your doc will be able to suggest CBT techniques for that too


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## california123 (Jun 8, 2003)

Hi again,I wanted to clarify that for me the big D did NOT cause the anxiety; it was the other way around. None of the anti-D medications--both over the counter and prescription--did anything to stop the D. But the anti-anxiety medication worked in 48 hours. Although I was under chronic stress, I couldn't believe it would cause such chronic D, but now I have no doubt it did. I posting below a list of symptoms of anxiety from holisticonline.com. ( I found the same basic list on other sites but this one was easiest to copy and paste.) It's amazing all the ways the body can react to stress/anxiety! Take care all.Symptoms of Generalized Anxiety Disorder The symptoms of anxiety range in intensity from feelings of uneasiness producing trembling and sweaty hands, to bouts of diarrhea, heart palpitations and full-blown panic attacks. Anxiety can cause complete, but temporary, memory blocks, or cause entirely inappropriate behavior. Long term severe worry, tension, irritability or depression, for no clear reason. Excessive or unwarranted worry (usually over work, finances, relationships, and health) Heart palpitations (rapid or irregular heartbeat) Sense of impending doom Difficulty or Inability to concentrate or mind going blank Muscle tension especially in the neck, shoulders, and chest; muscle aches; trembling or twitching in the muscles Diarrhea Chest pain Dry mouth Sweating or hot flashes Excessive sweating, sweaty palms Abdominal pain and/or diarrhea Undereating or overeating, loss of appetite Insomnia (difficulty falling or staying asleep, nightmares) Irritability Fatigue, headache, Easily fatigued Trembling or feeling shaky Rapid and shallow breathing, or feeling short of breath (hyperventilation) Loss of sex drive Being easily startled Occasional panic attacks Restlessness


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## bonniei (Jan 25, 2001)

tall gal what news? Have you stopped CBT?


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## tallgal (May 15, 2003)

Sorry guys, been slacking a bit, plus my CBT said perhaps I should stop coming to the site for a while as it was a reinforcement and thus gives my anxiety power. Well it has been a horrible few weeks, but I am starting to come out the other side now! I continued with my homework as detailed above, however, stopped doing it with friends as I felt that they calmed me too much.I started to have really bad panic attacks, like sitting in my own house a friend came over and I sat there and started to freak, why I have no idea, but my heart started to pound SOOOOO loudly I thought I was going to have a heart attack. Anyway that lasted about 4 minutes and really shook me up. Things then went from bad to worse, I was off work for a week with a viral infection and as a result of this I was just staying in my flat and feeling very scared.So after about 2 weeks of continual crying and really feeling like I was to be carted off to the looney bin, I called my CBT and demanded an appointment asap. I went to see her last Tuesday and that was a real turning point for me. We talked about my IBS, and the now panic/anxiety symptoms I was experiencing and really went through the cognitive reasoning behind it all. Well, we think that the whole IBS thing was a control issue, when I moved to uni, a bunch of us got sick eating the awful food provided in our halls of residence. From this I started to get IBS symptoms and over the next 6 years things continued in this way, I accepted what was wrong, and was open about it to friends. As a result of this, the IBS became an ideal excuse for me not doing things socially that I didn't want to do. Unfortunately, I recently moved in to my own place, and have totally hidden myself away. My neighbour is a total psychopath (no really) which has added to me keeping myself to myself. Hang on, this is getting confusing, right.....my IBS was my bodies way of dealing with stress and uncomfortable situations, as soon as I started to deal with this, i.e. the exposure therapy my body realised that it had to find another way to deal with it, hence the onslaught of heavy anxiety attacks. When I saw my CBT last week we went through the thought processes and now think that because the panic attacks are so horrendous, I am now afraid of the panic and therefore panic all the more at the thought of panic, confused yet???Anyway, as said, last Tuesday was the big turning point for me, I am getting back out there, and yes still panicing, but already as I face it, I can see it lessening every time I go out. This weeks homework (I saw her yesterday and she told me that was the first session I didn't cry) is to go out and mock the anxiety, i.e. if I don't panic, I need to pretend to by pretending to shake, or speak funny. Yesterday I took my friend out for lunch and I ordered my food, but then wasn't allowed to eat it!! I have been having problems eating whilst I was out (apparently to do with flight/fight principal) but as soon as she said you cannot eat it, I wanted it desperately, so took a few sneaky bites!Anyway, we think that I have a problem with being noticed, I am 6" tall girl and beleive it or not people go out of their way to comment on that, it really annoys me, I would never go up to someone and say 'hey you're a fatty arn't you', well why do they feel the need to come up to me, or shout out across the bar, or lean out of their car?!?!? So the IBS was partly a fear of people saying 'look it's that girl who just pooped', now it is a fear of 'look it's that girl who freaks'. I am getting there guys, the symptoms have accelerated because I am dealing with the issue. Today is the first day in the last 3 weeks that I feel hungry, I don't have nausea today also, which is a lovely feeling. All in all, it has been tough, but well worth it, I am getting back out there and facing life, as ordinary as it is, I let it get on top of me.On the plus side, I am now applying for new jobs, I am trying to break contract on my house due to psycho neighbour (an attempted murderer I have found out) and am starting an evening course next month, an introduction to Complimentary Medicine, so that I can have a total career change. I will continue to update the board and let you know how it is going, but a quickly as it got bad, it is now getting good, as my CBT said 'you are a normal girl who is just going through a rough patch right now'Kind regards to all xx


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## bonniei (Jan 25, 2001)

That's too bad you have been through a rough patch. I had similar issues with being noticed. I thoughteveryone was saying , "Hey look at the girl with a PhD in Math" I couldn't handle all thje attention and maybe the IBS weas just a way of telling everyone I am no big deal.


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