# IBS-D and Couple Time



## tapcat21 (Mar 8, 2008)

Hello all. I'm a 21 year old female with IBS-D. I was diagnosed two years ago. Although there are a lot of annoying things about having IBS, what I find most upsetting is when a flare-up interferes with my relationship, sexually. I can handle leaving class multiple times, puking in random bathrooms, etc..., but I am getting increasingly frustrated with it interfering with mine and my boyfriend's sex life. Last night he came over, and I ended up spending the entire night running back and forth to the bathroom. While he was sweet and held me in-between to help ease the shaking (do the rest of you get the shakes during flare-ups? I haven't heard anyone else mention that), when he left this morning I was left feeling healthy (again) but super-frustrated. He was super-sweet about it, but I can't help like I must seem gross and ugly to him now. Any suggestions on how to deal with these types of situations? (I did take medicine, but it took a while to kick-in). Many thanks.


----------



## GraceyT_123 (Mar 10, 2008)

I get exactly like that!!!Although when I first experienced it I had no idea I had IBS.I'm not sure if you're in the UK or not but theres something called 'Andrews Salts' which you put in water.. I find that it settles my stomach quite quickly.. (the sickness anyway)... one scoop is for settling stomachs and two is for constipation!I often find that i'm not in the mood at night because of how bloated and yuk I feel.. but the Andrews helps.. aswell as a lower back massage!Hope this helps!


----------



## Jenniaddams (Dec 6, 2008)

I also get 'the shakes' when it's bad. but so far its not affected my relationship. as long as your boyfriend understands then i find its okay. I take imodium twice daily and extra if i need it. IBS has never made me sick before so i can offer no help there.


----------



## metalMan (Jan 12, 2009)

As has been said, if you have been together a while and totally trust each other - it's not a problem. Maybe having IBS has tainted my response, but even if my GF of 4 years (who doesn't have IBS) suddenly got the "D" on a romantic evening, I would be more concerned with making her feel as comfortable as possible for the rest of the night than anything else. My IBS is rather light so I can't exactly provide relevant advice, but the trick I always use is that if I know I will be going to her place and things may get "hot", I be sure to eat a very light dinner (if any dinner) at home or if we go out to eat. But to again stress my most important point - Don't worry about feeling ugly and gross, because that is not at all how he sees you.


----------



## Taking_Control23 (Jun 21, 2009)

Hey!!I'm 22 and I have been with my BF for four years and I have suffered through your pain!!I usually stay at his place, and I find that I feel the best in the morning, before I've eaten anything, so maybe try and see what time of day you feel best and let him know that that would be the best time for intimacy. Guys are usually so happy to be having sex, they really don't care what time it is. Lol. If you were to go on a date and then be wanting to be sexualy involved, I would usually eat little or safe foods. If D is your problem, then Imodium should be a good friend of yours. After all the time I've been with my BF I don't feel guilty telling him I'm too sick to have sex. I usually just let him know I'm not feeling well at the time and will make it up to him. I also don't worry about what he thinks about me-he won't find you less attractive (as long as you don't flaunt the evidence) Lol. I'm discreet but honest and it works for me.When our relationship was still pretty new-I just made a lot of excuses (I'm a horrible liar but a good actress apparently). Anything from being tired, a migrane, the flu (if I was nauseas), womanly issues yep. Ooo and when i did come clean to my BF he told me his embarassing bathroom stories (not yucky ones) and I found that he could kind of understand.


----------

