# My Life is Exhausting



## evilsnail1 (Mar 11, 2018)

Okay, so I began having digestive issues since I was ten years old, beginning with a diagnosis of lactose intolerance. Then I was diagnosed two years later with depression, and was given 50 mg of Zoloft. The year I turned thirteen, I was hospitalized for suicidal tendencies and was given a dosage of 100 mg. During this time, I was having extreme difficulty eating anything, both because of my depression and because of the anxiety eating gave me. No matter what I ate, it hurt me. My growth became stunted, and I began losing weight to the point where I could see my ribs even though I ate two full meals a day, and ate many snacks. Meat in general began to bother me as well, which became a huge issue as my family is Greek and we just love our meat. I usually just told my family to make meat and forget about me so they didn't have to suffer with me, though I always quietly envied them despite the smell of meat making me sick.

I've tried therapy countless times, but no matter who it was or what they told me, nothing worked. Even worse, I was beginning to fail at school when doctors tried giving me medication for my stomach pains which made me fall asleep during exams, and I became temperamental and scatterbrained. Usually I am that quiet kid who shuts up and colors no matter what kind of teacher the teacher is. Even three years later, I am still having difficulty controlling my temper, and my sleeping patterns are all messed up, sleeping during the day and staying up all hours of the night (just to be clear, I don't party; I don't even have any friends to party with). I always feel terrible when I snap at my family, but I can't control it. Even better, I've recently been diagnosed with gluten intolerance, so I can't even eat any bread anymore. I've never had the time to find any sort of stability, and no matter how many schools I go to I always end up being shunned by everyone. I do have NVLD, so I could just be socially stupid, but I don't know what else to do at this point. I haven't had a true friend in well over five years, have never been to a sleepover, and have never really found the time to do what any teenager does. It's just from one therapy session to talk about how useless I am to another doctors appointment talking about how poorly my body functions in basic tasks.


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