# Increasing Problems with No Solution



## EasternRomioi3 (Jun 12, 2018)

Hello all, I am a 30 year old male and have suffered from IBS since I was 19. Back then, it was way worse, I would have multiple flare ups a day, and over the course of a week, lose 2-3 days of my life to it. I have long been in therapy and started taking fiber supplements. They helped and reduced my symptoms to a minor degree. I was heavy set after high school and throughout college. I peaked at 220lbs and was down to one IBS flare up a year. Almost ALWAYS in summer, either July or August. I had a colonoscopy in 2008 and the doc really found nothing, so I wasted my time. I saw a gastro doc in March, he literally said there is nothing he can do for me because it is all in my head, then asked to shove a camera down my throat. That made 0 sense. I saw my real doc, he was against the scope and said another colonoscopy has a 50% chance of identifying the problem, which he said is more than like IBS, which can't be fixed.

However, July 2017 saw the immediate, rapid decline in my health. First, after 2013, I started exercising and got fit, by 2015 I got to my current weight of 130lbs. I still only had 1 or 2 IBS flare ups a year. I'm talking about the ones where you're in pain for hours, it won't come out, won't come out, then suddenly you go, and go, and go, and lose about an hour on the toilet alone. I had a kidney stone in 2011, the pain from it was a literal joke compared to my IBS pain, I laughed at it. IBS pain is enough to make me put my fist through the wall of my bathroom or its door, to cope. Anyways, in July 2017, in order of events, I bought my elderly mother a cell phone for her birthday, she then proceeded to somehow corrupt the data within the same night, and the stress I got from dealing with that gave me an IBS flare up. Then 6 days later, she had a heart attack. My dad, who is an absolute moron, just sat there eating a cookie while my mom screamed for an ambulance. I had another flare up that week.

Moving along, I had 2 flare ups in August and by the end of the month, gave myself a hemorrhoid. Fought with that for a month, and it was made constantly worse by my IBS. Got rid of it by the end of September. October was a good month, didn't get sick. Now, I work at a Toys R Us, which as you may know, is dying hard. I'm a member of lower management and thus worked 5-6 days in a row, 9 hour shifts at best during November and December. I had at least 4 flare ups in those 2 months. Then in January, my idiot of a father had a stroke. Now, this is after I told him publicly in December that he will die this winter. I had foreseen it. His health has been in decline for 3 years, he refuses to see a doctor. He also refuses to pay bills, so I pay for almost everything. As I said, my parents are quite old. My mom was hooked up to a shock vest for month that required Wi-Fi at all times so I had to be careful where she went and how far away from her I was since she has no concept of Wi-Fi.

Both my parents are alive still, somehow, but our German shepherd has Lou Gehrig's disease, she's a cripple. Only 9 years old. None of us have the heart to put her down since she's so happy. But I am forced to carry her, all 90lbs of her. It puts a strain on my guts and gives me an IBS flare up sometimes. On top of this, I am losing my job by the end of June. I just had to buy a new car because our old one was about to explode. I have no means to make my payments now, I have no source of income beyond unemployment, and I tried to apply to a teaching job (which I went to college for), and I gave myself an IBS flare up just by calling about my application. My therapist has 0 ideas on what to do. My doctor says we just need to reduce my stress. I'm fairly sure the only way to do that is for my parents to actually die and me to put down my poor dog.

As you can guess, I have no siblings or family to help. I can't afford an in home nurse. I miss work semi-regularly due to my flare ups too, so holding a job is worrisome. I had one flare up at work, on December 23rd, 2016, I was in such bad shape, my manager sent me home to get a shower. I worked 6pm to 3am. I came back by 8pm. Worked till 4am to make up for the loss. I was done going but the pain was still present all night. Perhaps the only good thing about my IBS is I won't go for another 4-6 days. My record is 11 days without a bowel movement. The last big on I had in early May led to the best week I've had all year. I got a lot of drawing done, painted a ton, went out with my best friend, we work together on art stuff and sell them, then magically one day, 6 days later, I went to the bathroom. I started taking acidophilus regularly but then stopped when it was making me unusually nauseated. So now I only take it on the days I have flare ups to try and regain my good bacteria, whatever the hell that even is. I take vitamin C regularly because I am serious afraid of getting sick in general. I have asthma and got a lung infection in 2017 and that was enough to terrify me thoroughly.

I was prescribed Bentyls, and I hate them. I notice no help and actually think they upset my stomach more. I was also put on Hyoscyamine and they too, don't seem to work. I try to walk a mile everyday but the weather is so bad in my area that I can't go out. Now that I weight only 130, any cold temperature is enough to weaken me severely. Winter is so bad in my area, my therapist is actually treating me for a fear of the wintertime. I have tried eating yogurt regularly and boy, that backfired spectacularly. I went lactose free for almost 2 months, had a massive flare up off some chicken one night, abandoned that. I regularly eat Wendy's burgers because there are one of the FEW things that make me sick, as weird as that sounds, further reinforcing my belief that I am cursed. I even got super sick on my birthday after dinner with my friends because I was afraid of getting sick and having to leave me own dinner in front of my friends, see the problem? I cannot, cannot, cannot catch a break and the longest I've gone without an IBS flare up since last July is 41 days.

Is this because I am too light? I can't really put on weight anymore, I don't eat like I did during college, I am not on all the mood stabilizers that messed up my kidneys and made me fat. My friend is convinced it's all in my head and she's trying so hard to help but she has small children and can't always be around. I remember one day, being absolutely humiliated, we were working, I got sick, she had me lay on her couch while she worked. I smashed clay with my hands (we sculpt things) for about an hour, and it made me feel infinitely better and my flare up was minor. Enough to ruin my day and humiliate me in front of my friend, which is not ok.

That's it, I'm done talking about this, I'm hoping someone can help me, give me some advice, because no one has any. Everyone around me says "reduce your stress." How? My dad refuses to help us pay bills and I regularly have to rob his bank account so we have electricity. My mother is so old and archaic that I have to do her online hospital appointments and deal with her disability stuff myself. It's like have two small children, then on top of that, our dog. Oh wait, I forgot one more, this might be important. My mom's an ex-vet. She rescued a cat that was hit by a car and put it back together, literally. The cat is happy, healthy, fine...except she has chronic diarrhea. Our water bill went from 80 a month to 120 a month. I am so afraid to walk around in the house. I am terrified, like literally terrified because I cannot see where she's gone. I actually had to throw my work clothes and shoes out my bedroom window into the driveway, walk out of the house, wipe my feet off, then change in my car. That is so much stress, so much, like, literally walking on hot coals. And my mother REFUSES to do anything, the cat is untouchable. She's been given a second chance at life. Meanwhile, I'm 30 and in such bad shape that I get mouth ulcers and eat one meal a day. I don't eat at work, ever, period. I go 8 hours without food, out of FEAR.

Ok, that's it, done now. If anyone has any words of wisdom, please share them. I'm at my wits end.


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## flossy (Dec 8, 2012)

Hi EasternRomioi3 -

If I'm following your post correctly, you have periods when you have IBS, but not all the time. I'm assuming it's always constipation?

If it is and fiber isn't helping much at all, I would go with no additional fiber at all as it makes a lot of us with chronic constipation even more constipated. Also whenever you think you might get constipated I would take something (a laxative, for example) to help you go.

There is a list on my post (below) of different supplements I've tried (click on below link to read):

http://www.ibsgroup.org/forums/topic/239065-finally-a-product-i-can-recommend/

Note: Prune JUICE goes right through me, but not everybody, so I'm thinking that's something you might want to try right off the bat.

Good luck and keep us posted!


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## EasternRomioi3 (Jun 12, 2018)

Hello, thank you for replying. And no, I only have massive constipation AFTER I have a massive flare up and am more or less entirely empty. I mainly have horrible, horrible diarrhea after stressful events. I can actually remember my very first IBS flare up was the first day of high school for me. I spent it in the bathroom, went at least 7 times.

My doctor says I have the episodic, diarrhea-constipation cycle IBS, rather than overt constipation or diarrhea. Personally, I'd rather be constipated then have diarrhea, at least I can still DO things. Like my entire night yesterday was ruined. I was going to box up some of my old stuff and relocate it into the basement so I could redo my bookshelf and have more room. Instead I got sick, lost an hour and ended up playing Skyrim at my PC since I was in too much pain to lift anything. My doc also says I appear to have no real food triggers. It appears to be solely stress related. I have no idea how to fix that. Unless like, my worrying about all my family members dying actually goes away after they actually do die. My friend and I got into it today when I said I could solve my IBS with a ton of money, she said money doesn't get you happiness, but I said "money means you never have to worry about the bills and might not have to have a job and thus, can afford to spend your days dying on the toilet."

But I can remember getting sick real bad off a chicken sandwich from Wendy's, Japanese food on my birthday, Wendy's burger yesterday (but that was stress since that job application process I did was enough to almost make me vomit), a fried fish sandwich during lent (so I don't eat fried fish anymore, since that appears to be a consistent issue now), my mom made some god awful roast beef wrapped in bacon, cried when I refused to eat it, because I didn't want to get sick, made me sick as a dog when I finally ate it. I got sick once of sesame chicken from a Chinese place. Chipotle always does it. But here's the thing. I eat Chinese food all the time, I actually studied Mandarin in college, so I spent a lot of time in the local places, and I got sick ONCE. I haven't gotten sick of Chinese food more than once. However, that one time I got sick from Chinese food, I was the designated driver that night...for like 5 people. Stressful. I've actually considered drinking heavily to relieve my stress but 1 ) don't mix that with anti-depressants, and 2 ) that will just damage my stomach and liver, rather than my intestines.

I don't know what to do. I wish I had some help with my parents. I don't want to put my dog down. She's crippled but still happy.


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## sweetbee01 (Jun 23, 2017)

EasternRomioi3 said:


> Hello, thank you for replying. And no, I only have massive constipation AFTER I have a massive flare up and am more or less entirely empty. I mainly have horrible, horrible diarrhea after stressful events. I can actually remember my very first IBS flare up was the first day of high school for me. I spent it in the bathroom, went at least 7 times.
> 
> My doctor says I have the episodic, diarrhea-constipation cycle IBS, rather than overt constipation or diarrhea. Personally, I'd rather be constipated then have diarrhea, at least I can still DO things. Like my entire night yesterday was ruined. I was going to box up some of my old stuff and relocate it into the basement so I could redo my bookshelf and have more room. Instead I got sick, lost an hour and ended up playing Skyrim at my PC since I was in too much pain to lift anything. My doc also says I appear to have no real food triggers. It appears to be solely stress related. I have no idea how to fix that. Unless like, my worrying about all my family members dying actually goes away after they actually do die. My friend and I got into it today when I said I could solve my IBS with a ton of money, she said money doesn't get you happiness, but I said "money means you never have to worry about the bills and might not have to have a job and thus, can afford to spend your days dying on the toilet."
> 
> ...


If conventional docs aren't working for you maybe try a naturapathic doctor? I plan to do so. My latest gastro was so arrogant and empathetic. I also read that fecal transplant was good for IBS D sufferers. I asked my gastro about it and she said it wasn't approved in the US yet? I thought it was. Also your comment about Wendy's chicken sandwich reminded me of an anxiety attack I had then after consuming a Wendy's chicken sandwich I started experiencing constipation which I never had before as an adult. Before that I never had any bowel problems. I had a perfect GI system that I miss so much. Also I wouldn't rec putting down your dog. Mine couldn't even stand up and he weighed 90lbs (large dog breed) and was so smart and gorgeous. A "relative" I don't talk to anymore convinced us to put him down and I regret it everyday.


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## EasternRomioi3 (Jun 12, 2018)

See, the irony is I live in the "city of doctors." The government always goes on about how we have the best hospitals in the US, despite us not being in the top 10 lmao. So in the past 10 years when that got out that it was a lie, there's been tremendous push and pull between doctors. Like, the open hostility is severe, so you have timid doctors who avoid treating anyone or you have dicks who are, as you said, arrogant and apathetic. That, and no one is happy with how much money they make and how much we don't.

And I wish I got constipation from eating lmao. I'm on day 2 after my flare up, I think I'm back to normal. I just don't have enough in me to go again, thankfully. I swear, I should just schedule a colonoscopy for the next day after I have my flare ups.

As for a naturapathic doctor, what are they about?

I am actually considering poisoning myself again, and seeing a shrink for a mood stabilizer. Maybe it will help. The two I was on in my youth were part of the reason I weighted so much. I went from 96lbs in junior high to 163lbs in a year, because of those meds. When I was heavy, I didn't have these GI problems as much. I did, however, hate myself, have terrible asthma issues, and dirt self-esteem. It's just impossible to see a psychiatrist in my town without running into an ER and claiming you want to kill yourself, then one MAGICALLY appears. They keep saying "well, you have to see our therapists or we can't see you." Yeah, sure, let's add more stress by taking me away from the therapist I've seen for 5 years now.

As for my dog...sigh. She's downstairs crying. She wants to walk, run, and swim. It's too cold out, it's too far of a drive to get to clean water, and I would need to find my swimsuit (which I don't even know if I have one anymore) because I'd have to go in with her since,well, crippled.


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## LearningtolivewithIBS (Apr 20, 2018)

You sound like you are having such a tough time. I am sorry your life is so stressful with your elderly parents, your sick dog, losing your job and having to find another in a different career. At the same time, your GI health is so unpredictable, I can see how it's driving you bonkers. That being said, from everything I read and understand, sometimes there is no rhyme or reason to why and when a flareup occurs. I do think you should try to manage your stress, for the sake of managing your stress. I think you are driving yourself bonkers thinking there's a magic solution to IBS, that either by lowering stress or finding the right drug, or eating/not eating certain foods you can control it. From my personal experience, there are definitely things that make it worse or better, but I have yet to find the magic solution for bringing on or eliminating a flareup. I've accepted that, and just try to manage my best with the limited control I have in this situation. It's very difficult to say, accept your IBS, don't try to find a solution, just deal with it. And I think all of us are always trying different things in hopes of something working. But I think it's reasonable to say, some aspects of IBS cannot be understood or controlled for some people, and I hope accepting that small fraction of your situation can bring you some peace.


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## EasternRomioi3 (Jun 12, 2018)

See, I have kinda accepted it. I thought by accepting it, that might make it go away. It did not. There are times when I get so depressed, usually in the middle of a flare up, that I legitimately find myself contemplating suicide. Not because like the pain but because it is robbing me of my life. I can't eat what I want, I can't eat anything sometimes. I am down to 1 meal a day now out of fear, fear of food. But, that...ironically, causes problems because it's not the food, it's the anxiety. My body is like "can't get sick if there's nothing to get sick with!" but then my body goes "oh we're dying!" so I have to eat. As for the suicide thing, that's no real big deal, it's a spur of the moment thing, no use reporting it, I see a therapist, she's aware and says that legitimate medical pain is something that can be worked through, mental illness is more random.

Like, yesterday was my last day at work. I got up, did my mile walk, showered, did NOT eat, bought water guns at the dollar store, got an egg white sandwich at Sheetz, then went to work and we played till about 4:30. Didn't get sick at all. Didn't cry either. I did on Tuesday, which was our last day being open to the public. Then I came home, didn't eat, didn't eat, got my mom up, she needed to eat, we went to McDonald's at like 7:30, by 9 I was sick. But that's not normal. Usually while STILL eating I have to stop and go have my IBS flare up! Like, I legit don't even get to finish my meal. We were out bird watching and I guess when we got home the stress from losing my job, and my friends on a regular basis and my car payments, and my dad who's leg is swollen like a tree trunk and his doctor says they're not worried about it (we're taking bets on when he dies), I guess that gave me the flare up. And that also led me to try something. I took a one of my mom's benzos, and my IBS flare up went away!

The pain stopped, I passed only loose stool, not major diarrhea, a lot of it, but loose, and then within an hour, I was fine. My friend says this needs treated as a mental disorder now. So, sometime next week I'm going to the open walk-in psychiatry place across the street from my doctor and gonna beg them to treat my sorry self. I'm afraid of losing so much of my life. I will never be able to go on a date, what if I get sick? How can I get married? How can I have kids? None of these are possible if I'm on the toilet constantly and my doctor only sees me once every 4 months, it's near impossible to keep the appointments too! I sat there in the waiting room for over 2 hours one day because it was drug test day for the half way house people next to the doctor's office so they all got to piss in their cups, and the guards got to escort them back before I saw anyone. I intentionally didn't eat that day so I could make it to the doctor, so eventually I just left because I got too hungry and was risking passing out. Kinda have to drive home.

That is the environment I live in. I don't want to accept it because accepting it might make my mental health worse.


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