# Does it ever end?



## JustDrea (Oct 1, 2007)

So I've been sick on and off since May, and it's getting rather frustrating. My problems didn't start with IBS, but back problems. I was in a horrible car accident about 4 years ago, and this May, the disc finally slipped. It was the most excruciating pain ever! I was on heavy steroids, and pain meds (taking up to 2 percocets at a time) with very little relief. I finally got approval to get an epidural done, which helped some. I could walk without assistance, and wasn't on constant bed-rest. But when I got approval for my second epidural, I simultaneously got laid-off







I think this was a result of all the time that I missed. They did give me a severance, but I lost my health insurance. COBRA was $450 a month, but I knew I had to get it to cover my epidural and several ER visits. I got the second epdural, and my back pain greatly improved. I could drive again, and sit in the same position for more than an hour or two. I also started treatment with a chiropractor. Within three weeks I got a new job, and even though money was tight because of my medical expenses, things were looking up. Then the week before I was scheduled to start, I got a really bad stomach flu. After 5 days of chronic D and horrible abdominal pain, I bit the bullet and went to the ER. My entire digestion system and pancreas were inflamed, and I was admitted. I was scared. I still didn't have the money for COBRA, and my new boss called saying they may have to give the position to someone else.Luckily, I was released and able to start my job the next Monday. Thank God they held my job for me! I still had the bad stomach pain, and couldn't eat much. I lost 10 pounds. But I felt like I was getting better....But, things only improved to a point. My GP ordered an ultrasound, bloodtests, and referred me to a GI. I adjusted my hours at work to accomodate all these appointments. My new boss was getting rather annoyed that I had all these visits, in addition to the fact that some days I was running to the bathroom a lot







. I was scared I may lose my job. Luckily, they like the work that I do. I also explained that these tests were left-over from the hospital visit, and not something that was expected to happen all the time. So they've been a little easier on me. Last week I was supposed to have the endoscopy and colonoscopy done. I didn't sleep at all the night of the prep....All the time on the toilet ended up being in vein though, because they couldn't perform the test. The doctor gave me four times the meds that I should've needed, and I never went under enough for them to do the tests. I actually woke up in the middle of the endoscopy, gagging and fighting (or that's what I was told). I was SO MAD when he told me they were aborting the test and that I'd have to have it redone in a hosiptal. I went home and slept for over 10 hours....The next day, I woke up and the arm they put the IV in was throbbing. I noticed some redness, but thought it was from the tape. Then I got a red streak that slowly crept past my elbow. The vein they had used was infected! So I had to go BACK to the ER, and they had to give me a shot that hurt A LOT and some strong anti-biotics.I think the infection is gone now, but the antibiotics really messed with my stomach. I'm back to my "bland" diet, and some days I can't tolerate even that!I have the endoscopy/colonoscopy rescheduled for this Saturday, early in the morning. I hope they can give me some answers, because I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. Some days, I can only drag through my day. I don't think it helps that my diet isn't that great either. I'd love to see a nutritionist, but I owe so much in medical expenses right now that I can't justify taking on anything else. Especially if it isn't absolutely necessary....Sorry for the rant. It's just frustrating to be 26 and sick all the time....If any of you have any suggestions on how to make coping with this any easier, I'd really appreciate it. I just feel so alone with this, especially since the stomach issues flared up. Sometimes I feel like people think I'm making all this up, that I'm a hypocondriac and like the "attention". I'm not. I'd love to be healthy. More than anything, I would.Thanks for listening,Drea


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## MyOwnSavior (Dec 21, 2006)

JustDrea said:


> Thanks for listening,Drea


I'm so sorry that you had to deal with all that... the IBS issues alone are certainly a handful, but then when you throw in other things on top of it, I can only imagine the pain...In any event, just so you know, I'm 21, and I've had IBS symptoms for the past 3 years, effectively ruining my college experience and any chance of making friends or having a relationship, etc. I mean, I've had the gas, bloating, pain, nausea, D, C, (I'm IBS-A so I get both. Yay!). You name it, I've experienced it. Plus, I have GERD, which also gives me its own set of lovely symptoms. And this is all despite the fact that I don't drink alcohol, don't do drugs, don't smoke, don't binge on fatty foods, exercised (well, I used to moreso in the past, when I felt good enough to...)So in my case, I had a lot of anger regarding the fact that I didn't "deserve" to get IBS. I was angry that I couldn't do things that everyone else my age was doing; like going out at night, or even just getting together with friends in the afternoon or evening to study, because that was when my symptoms would inevitably flare up. I didn't deal so well with it at first... and in fact, I really don't deal well with severe symptoms to this day. Instead, through dumb luck, as well as trial and error, I've found some techniques that can help me to avoid getting severe flareups to begin with. But anyway, back to your main question... when I get pain, I guess it depends where I am as far as I what I do about it. When I'm at home, I try to just take my mind off of it, by laying down and listening to music. Since The pain won't go away unless I'm laying down, that part is kind of necessary for me. But that's, I suppose, not really a coping mechanism... the music, though, is. I mean, it could be anything - whatever you enjoy doing, really - just so long as it takes your mind off of the general shittiness of your situation. Sometimes when I'm feeling angry about feeling so bad, I'll do some vigorious exercise to try to take my mind off of it. I'll usually only do this once the pain goes away though, because I know that when you feel like total #### you don't feel like doing a whole lot except lying down and waiting for it to go away (or at least, I don't). I think that what has benefited me a lot is just to stop asking the "why do I have to deal with this?" and "Why am I this way, when others - who do things that ruin their bodies without caring - aren't?" type of questions. We all tend to think that we are "good people", and so when bad things happen to us - especially in cases such as ours, where we are young and suffering - we can't understand why. In my case, drifting away from religion has helped me, because I no longer expect God to help good people. I mean, bad things happen just because they do, and good things happen just because they do. It's not like God's up there saying "Ok, John's been pretty good, so I'll give him the money for a new house. But Joe's been pretty bad, so he's going to get cancer". I mean, that's an exaggeration of course, but ultimately that's kind of the mindset I had been under, and I think it helps to get away from any kind of expectations about the way your life should be, just because you've lived a certain way, done certain behaviors, or whatever.


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## JustDrea (Oct 1, 2007)

My Own Savior,I totally understand what you mean about being young, and not being able to do "normal" things. I too don't really drink, never did drugs, eat fairly decently, and yet-Yeah. It sucks sometimes, huh? I'm usually fairly positive about all this. I mean, like you said, what other option do we really have, but to accept it??? But it can still suck, and it's nice to know that other people understand the suckiness of this all....I'm sorry this ruined your college experience. Luckily, I"m out of college but I know the stress, the crazy hours, the all nighters....Geesh. That alone is enough to stress you out, let alone dealing with IBS on top of it. I think you're right, that it's best not to wallow and ask the "why me questions." Everytime I ask that, I ultimately come back to "why not?" I don't think God really picks who this happens to. It just-happens, I guess. I'll try the music suggestion. I really enjoy reading but it can be kinda difficult to focus....I guess this is affecting me more than usual because one of my best friends is getting married tomorrow. It's out-of-state and due to daunting medical bills and a EGD/colonoscopy scheduled for Saturday, I can't go. So I guess I feel a little left out.....Coming here definitely helps though. Thanks so much for your reply. It really feels good to know that I'm not the only one trying to cope with all of this (even though I"m sorry you have to cope with it too). I'm sending positive healing vibes your way, Drea


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## MyOwnSavior (Dec 21, 2006)

JustDrea said:


> Coming here definitely helps though. Thanks so much for your reply. It really feels good to know that I'm not the only one trying to cope with all of this (even though I"m sorry you have to cope with it too). I'm sending positive healing vibes your way, Drea


You're perfectly welcome. And thank you for replying to me. It's tough writing a lot of stuff, especially if you put some thought into it, and then the person doesn't write back...Anyway, If you ever want to talk to me personally don't hesitate to PM me. If not, well, I'm sure we'll run into each other on different threads on this forum in the future.


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## JustDrea (Oct 1, 2007)

> It's almost like those of us who try so hard to live a good, healthy life, are the ones who end up with conditions like this... yet people who just don't care at all end up feeling fine. It's very odd...


Yeah, I agree with you there....Back in the day, I did my share of crash dieting for awhile. But some people do that for _years_ and don't get any ill-effects (go figure). The only thing I can think of is that this somehow prepares me for something bigger, or more challenges that I might face in the future. Maybe I'll look back and say "I had a successful career despite IBS, so [challenge X] should be a breeze"; Ok, ok I know it sounds a bit cheezy. Well, really cheezy actually...but it helps sometimes. And it gives me a little bit of an answer to the "why" question.I pretty much lived at home or on my own during the college experience too. Not for the same reasons as you, but in my case I tried the "college life" for a semester-And hated it. Maybe I'm just too anti-social for that kinda thing, I dunno LOL. But I also discovered that I did much better after I was out of that atmosphere. It gave me the chance to really focus on my studies (which is why I was paying all that money in the first place-for a good education). I was an English-Lit major with a minor in American-History. I'd love to go back and get my MA in Asian-American studies, but really what can you do with that??? I'm realistic enough to realize that my degree doesn't exactly open doors for me....But I can tell you though, that it has helped in my current job significantly. I work in sales support, which really doesn't have much to do with Literature. But all the practice I had with writing papers and conveying a point really helps with all the reports and such that I do. So I'm actually pretty glad that I studied what I loved. In the end, it paid off, even if it wasn't in the form of an internship like some of my friends. Once I get all this medical stuff under control, I'll probably go back for an MA in HR, despite my love of Asian Studies. It's just more realistic career-wise. Sorry to ramble, LOL. I definitely gave you a long answer to a short question







What do you enjoy reading? I have a few books that I"m trying to start, but like you my stomach is usually too screwy to really enjoy it. That and my anti-nausea meds make me so dang sleepy. At least they work though....


> I know the feeling of being left out, trust me. But I've never had to exclude myself from an event that is of such importance, as you are doing now (well, as you say, because you have to). I know it must be very difficult...


Yeah, it is....I called my friend last night and she was bawling, more because of last-minute stress and jitters, I think. But it made me feel horrible that I wasn't with her, even though I couldn't really help it. Thank you for the encouragement. Actually, I'm pretty nervous and scared about the whole thing. They were supposed to have it done a week ago, but for some reason I wouldn't go "out" sufficiently.So I did all that prep and missed time from work for nothing. I don't remember much about that day, other than I was so PISSED. So I'm a little scared that the same thing may happen, even though this time they're going to put me compeletely under. Still, things can go wrong, you know?I think the stress is already affecting my system. I probably won't have to do the whole prep, since things are already moving (ha) Anyway, I'll follow-up and let you know how it all went. I'm not on IM much, but would love to chat if we happen to be on the same time. If not, we'll talk soon, I'm sure. It'll definitely be nice to have some answers-I hope they can give me some. *sigh* I hope my stomach stops flip-flopping soon Drea


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## MyOwnSavior (Dec 21, 2006)

JustDrea said:


> Thank you for the encouragement. Actually, I'm pretty nervous and scared about the whole thing. They were supposed to have it done a week ago, but for some reason I wouldn't go "out" sufficiently.So I did all that prep and missed time from work for nothing. I don't remember much about that day, other than I was so PISSED. So I'm a little scared that the same thing may happen, even though this time they're going to put me compeletely under. Still, things can go wrong, you know?I think the stress is already affecting my system. I probably won't have to do the whole prep, since things are already moving (ha) Anyway, I'll follow-up and let you know how it all went. I'm not on IM much, but would love to chat if we happen to be on the same time. If not, we'll talk soon, I'm sure. It'll definitely be nice to have some answers-I hope they can give me some. *sigh* I hope my stomach stops flip-flopping soon Drea


That's true, but from what I understand, complications from those procedures are fairly rare. I mean, if they weren't, then the tests wouldn't be worth doing, you know? Either way, your doctor should have explained all that; I remember my GI doctor kind of glossed over it, but I still got a pretty good idea of what the possible complications could be. I remember I was pretty nervous as well, before I had those procedures done. But it wasn't nearly as bad as I was thinking it would be (things rarely, if ever, are as bad as I imagine that they will be). Still, you had a right to be angry; I know I would have been really upset too, in those circumstances...I think the stress is probably what's causing your stomach such problems. I mean, I'm no doctor, but with all of the stuff you're going through now, and knowing what I do about IBS, I would suspect that's what it is. Once everything calms down, you'll feel better, I'm sure.Anyway, I'd love to talk on IM if you would like to. I'm not on much either (actually I don't log on at all unless someone says they want to talk to me about something). Usually I'm only on at night because of work and so on, but if you want to you can PM me on here and we can talk about it more.







If not, as you say, we'll talk soon either way.Anyway, sorry for writing so much. I don't plan to make you read all of my babbling, but then I get writing and before I know it I've written, well, all this....Anyway, take care, and good luck with everything....


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