# Thought I was going Insane



## MEDR (Apr 20, 2017)

I just figured I have always had a sensitive stomach or nervous stomach.

So my background. I have not felt "normal" for the last 6 months physically or mentally. I have a very high stress job, work a lot of hours, and life is freaking busy. I have been a pretty consistent drinker since I was about 25 (now 38). Not everyday or night, but would enjoy drinks and not really ever be "hungover" or feel sick, but it did sometimes make me have loose stool or cramping the next day. Just figured it was only alcohol causing it. Well, the last several months since Christmas I developed a hiatal hernia (I had no idea what this even was). I have dealt with acid reflux for 10-15 years and just would heat zantac daily. When this hiatal hernia came on I thought I was having a heart attack and getting ready to die. . .then I would burp and feel better. However, anytime I would have these flare ups I would have crazy anxiety and just crazy thoughts. So I masked the anxiety with alcohol at night to be able to relax and go to bed. I'm a carefree drinker, don't get sloppy and just become more relaxed. I did that for a few months and then we had a death on my wife's side of the family . . . .and then a friend of ours (who is in the same profession as me) shot and killed himself.

Geez, the anxiety, very intense stomach cramping, uncontrollably having to run back to the bathroom came on strong. I knew I could not go on living like this and down this same path. I wasn't in a good place mentally and needed help. I went to see the psychologist we have through work and poured out everything, how I have pretty bad anxiety and have had it for years. I also have adult ADHD and were on meds for it for a few years (some of the most healthy of my life) but I cycled off them to get them out of my system for a while and just got lazy and never went back to get them. So, I went and met with my medical doctor and am now back on the ADHD meds which help me to calm down a lot and greatly lowers my stress levels. I also am using self help books to try and learn to deal with the anxiety. I have got so much better not dwelling or worrying about things and my stress levels seem way lower. The only thing that keeps persisting is my IBS. I feel great in the morning when I wake up. I come to work and will take my morning poop. Then my stomach will intensely cramp throughout the morning, and then stop around lunchtime. . . then start back up in the afternoon with the cramping. I had an upper endoscopy done last week to look at my hiatal hernia and it is being controlled with medicine. Everything else on the results looked good so that was some mental relief knowing I wasn't dealing with something major. I feel better mentally most of the time and am trying to be more positive. Here's the crazy thing though, my IBS seems to have become worse in the last 7 to 8 days and it is driving me crazy that I am still having to deal with the pains. I feel like my IBS is causing more anxiety than anything else going on in life. I was so thankful to find this message board to see so many others are affected mentally and physically from IBS. At least we are not alone!


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