# Anyone Elses Friends Not Getting It?



## Flutters (Jul 29, 2003)

Hey! Kinda new here! Had IBS since I was 15, now 22 and trying to get through college.(Wouldn't know it by the spelling!)







I was wondering if anyone else had problems with friends not understanding? Mine try, but I'm about to call my bestfriend to tell her I can't go to her graduation because it's 2hours away and I'm too afraid I'll get sick and as a result, have successfully made myself sick. I feel like a horrible friend, but I just can't do it.







Ever feel like parents and friends are running out of patience with you too? I can tell mine are getting tired of me telling them I'm nauseated. One friend gave up on asking me to go do things with her because "It's not like you'd go with us" (ouch)







This is really mean, but I wish everyone could experence the anxiety and all the symptoms for about a week. Talk about IBS awareness!!


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## erin5983 (Mar 25, 2003)

Eh, I definitely know what you're talking about. My college friends seem to understand more, especially my roommates, because they live with me so they can see how it affects my life, but my friends from home have no idea...I think it gets a little annoying for them because whenever we go out to eat I have to pick from the menu very carefully and sometimes I get sick afterward, thereby messing up the rest of the night's plans... But I can't just be like, "Hey, why don't we stay in and watch a movie every night so I can sit by the bathroom just in case?" lol...I'm sure everyone knows how it is. This is when we're supposed to be in our prime and be out partying and all that and sometimes I just want to sit...and do nothing at all, lol. The whole concept of coming out and sitting down with my friends and having a deep heart-to-heart (about diarrhea and constipation???!!!) is endearing, but probably won't happen any time soon because I'm still a little too touchy about the whole thing, lol. Until then...I just head off comments like the one you talked about, you know, like inconsiderate comments and pretend like I didn't hear them. Sort of sad...


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## angylroses (Feb 27, 2003)

> quote:But I can't just be like, "Hey, why don't we stay in and watch a movie every night so I can sit by the bathroom just in case?" lol...I'm sure everyone knows how it is. This is when we're supposed to be in our prime and be out partying and all that and sometimes I just want to sit...and do nothing at all, lol.


Hear, hear! I know exactly how you guys feel. Darn colon.. one of these days I will plot my revenge against it... just don't know how yet.


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## Flutters (Jul 29, 2003)

Thanks alot. It's so nice to know that someone else knows. When I gave up and told them why my tummy hurts I got the most interesting facial responces!! Crinkled brow and nose, followed by a "Ew" (my favorite).







Hard not to be bitter huh?


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## Maria_del_Carmen (Aug 4, 2003)

Hi guys,I so totally agree with all of you - it is hard to go on with normal activities when you have IBS! I remember when I didn't have it (I've had it since I was 18, now I'm 26) and how I never wondered where the bathrooms were. I'd happily go on bustrips for hours, even days, I'd camp anywhere, I'd eat anything... Those were the days! Luckily, most of my friends are pretty understanding, but it is true, they don't get it completely. Especially about the urgency - when I got to go, I have to go! If there's a line for the bathroom, that is a big problem!I am happy that most of my friends aren't squimish and I can handle some D-talk. Otherwise, it's so hard to explain, if they can't even deal with the wording! Carmen


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## Engine23 (Nov 19, 2002)

Keep in mind how hard it is for your friends regardless of our explanations. Rejection hurts in many forms and repeated rejection by us can seem like a slap after a while. I have not gone out with some of my freinds in a while because they enjoy the club scene, football games, and some other activities that i woould love to attend but choose not to so I can feel better. Anyway I understand both sides of the fence on this issue and its difficult for all.


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## Engine23 (Nov 19, 2002)

OOPs...forgot Flutter sometimes we simply have to risk discomfort and do what needs to be done...Depending on the level of friendship with your graduating buddy you may have to suck it and go!


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## muzzie (Aug 9, 2003)

My boyfriend gets a bit annoyed when I tell him I cant walk around for hours on end just for the fun of itI do wish he could experience IBS for a while, so he can know what its like!


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## jrs (Jun 18, 2001)

There are only a few of my friends who know I have IBS, although some of them know that I have 'food sensitivies.' I just wish there was another name other than 'Irritable Bowel Syndrom' for it -- it's hard to take a name like that seriously.


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## Engine23 (Nov 19, 2002)

jrs just tell them you have spontaneous(sp) shi* on self syndrome...thats what I tell my friends of course guys can be a little less proper than ladies (yeah right)


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## ziggystardust00 (Aug 10, 2003)

I know exactly how you feel and it's often v.depressing when you think that no one understands your situation. Only a few of my friends know about my IBS and some still don't really get it. I wish I could just be normal sometimes!!!! It's really difficult as I'm 18 and at the age when everyone expects you to be out all the time and partying!!!


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## Sar (Apr 9, 2003)

Yeah, I've had problems with some of my friends and family too!!Some people just dont seem to get it, or i get asked 'has it gone yet....are you better now?'Some people im not best mates with i dont know what to say to the. what do other people say??Although i must say uni tutors ahve been great and some of my best friends are true angels.Im started a new job soon, im not sure what to tell tehm if im ill as in the interview i said that i was not normally ill? wanted the job basically!! what do others do in this situation??Sarah


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## asXtheXsunXsets (Aug 15, 2003)

Yeah, i don't think any one can really get it unless they have it. My freinds are really suportive ad understand when i have to cancel last minute. We make jokes about me being sick a lot ... it's not that they don't care ... i prefer it this way becuase if i can't laugh about it then it will just get me down.Sometimes my dad gets fed up with me feeling sick .... he's had a few ulcers (a few almost fatal) and a digestrive system worse than IBS i think so i guess he figures "i can deal with my problems ... why can't he?" but when i first got sick he ran me to the doctor and signed me out of school tons of times and went out of his way for me more times than i can remember.-matt


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## anythinggold (Aug 15, 2003)

did anyone here have trouble with roommates? i'm starting college in the fall and i'm terrified at what my roommates will think of me! not sure how to break the news, either, lol.


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## asXtheXsunXsets (Aug 15, 2003)

First time i talked to my room mate i explain that I am sick from time to time and what I have. His response was "oh wow, that must be rough!" and thats what i was hoping for i guess .. a regular answer. He does not seem appauled or disgusted by it ... hope your room mate situation turns out well.--matt


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## anythinggold (Aug 15, 2003)

thanks. i've already mentioned that i have stomach problems to one and her response was "so i guess you won't be living on pizza", so it seems like she understood. but whenever i get around to it i might mention it to the other two. i'm just thankful i'm not sharing a bathroom with an entire floor!


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## dbains2k (Jun 8, 2003)

I just hate it whenever a friend of mine asks me to do things or to stay longer at his house but I tell him I'm starting to feel sick. he says "You're ALWAYS feeling sick" in an annoyed kind of way. Definately no sympathy from him even though I've told him I have IBS.


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## dbains2k (Jun 8, 2003)

Oh yes, another problem I have is some guy asked me to be the best man at his wedding. I had to turn it down because the place he got married was 5 hours away from here. I wanted to go and stuff, but there was no way I could manage that much travel and being away from home. I had to decline and I don't think he understood since now he rarely talks to me.


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## Sar (Apr 9, 2003)

Hello,I have just come out of education and found everyone there really nice about my 'issues' now im starting work and dont know what to tell them as my job depends on it. any ideas??Sarah


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## bad girl (Aug 19, 2003)

Hi,Funny story on my boyfriend not understanding IBS. We went to Florida for a week. He insisted we should eat "regular stuff with no fiber". So I thought I would give it a go. A lapse of judegment you could say! I ate seafood, chips, all sorts of junk. I was physically miserable everyday. I didn't have a BM for 7 days! Talk about hurt. So the day we got back from the trip, I got REALLY sick. When he watched me have d and throw up for hours and he couldn't sleep, he got the picture. We were up all night because I was so sick. Now he finally realizes it's not in my head. I have to watch what I eat and take yucky fiber stuff (its not as though I like it). We came to a compromise-- he eats what he wants and doesn't tease me about my fiber foods.About not going out with friends. I go anyway- I'm a bit of a social butterfly. It just makes me feel worse to stay in. I'm just really honest with them. I went shopping with the girls the other day. When I had severe d, I told them we had to stop at a bathroom NOW! Besides, there is always a bathroom at a party or club. And when they don't get it, you can meet up later. Sometime I do have movie night at my house though- when the nausea, bloating, and fatigue get the best of me.It will work out though. Aren't friends supposed to be there for support as well as good times?


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