# Hello, and welcome to my life(a.k.a hell).



## It's Just Me (Nov 25, 2008)

Hey guys. I'm new here and just want to see what you guys have to say about my current situation. Well grab yourself something to drink and sit down, this is going to get pretty long...It all started back in 2006. I decided that I was unhappy with my living sitatuion(which was living with my mother and brothers for 16 years)and decided that I wanted to move in with my uncle. Keep in mind my stomach was fine for those 16 years. I move in with my uncle and live with him from about December 2006 to August 2007, the whole time my stomach was fine. But during the month of August, I got into arguments left and right with my uncles fiance and things just didn't work out. She wanted me out and I said okay. During the summer I was going to my hometown which was only 5 minutes away and staying at my friends house for days upon days. Than one day in August, everything changed. I got dropped off at my friends house at about 8 in the morning and felt fine. He got up and was about to go in the shower because we had plans for the day, but as soon as he went into that bathroom I felt a pain like I've never felt before. I had to take a #### so bad that I was about to explode. I was knocking on the door telling him to hurry, but he apparently didn't hear the urgency in my voice. Needless to say I couldn't hold it in any longer and decided to make a run to a place with a bathroom about 5 minutes away from his house. Before I could get there, "it" KIND OF happened and needless to say I was disappointed in myself. I finally got to the bath room and took one of the messiest and painful bowel movements I had ever taken. From this day on, my stomach was never the same. It's now been over a year since than, and a lot has happened. I've been to the gastro a bunch of times. Got a colonoscopy and blood work done, and they found nothing wrong with me. Got a few other tests and they found nothing wrong. I just completely lost my life after that day. I couldn't go anywhere without feeling like I had to use the bathroom. Couldn't go out with friends,out with family, or anywhere. Eventually, it led to me dropping out of high school with only one more year to go. For a year now, I've been trapped in my room rotting away, living with my brothers at my old house. No friends anymore really. No job. Thank god I still get child support from my father and my mom gives me money to eat and which not. But since then, I've become a bonified loser and it makes me even more sick to my stomach. IBS has dominated me and it seems like there is nothing I can do about it. I want a job,I want my friends back. Hell I want to be able to take trips to the mall like a normal person like I could do a little over a year ago. But this IBS that came out of no where has dominated me completely and has taken control over my life. My mother is extremely dissapointed in me and I feel like I let her down by dropping out of high school with only one year left. I feel like I am letting myself down but there is nothing I can do. I've tried Align for a month and it did nothing for me really. I'm just running out of options. I get scared looking at my future, because I can't fight this and what do I do when the child support runs out and I have to support myself? I just feel like I can't do anything more. But on the other side, I've had days where I could go out and things would be fine. But those are rare. Hell even on my birthday when my family went out for dinner I couldn't enjoy it. My symptoms? Bad gas,bad stomach cramps,nausea,and I feel like I constantly have to "go". So what do I, what used to be an average teenage boy with hopes and dreams, do? I feel like my life is over with now because of this and I have just spent a year rotting away. Any tips or anything? Thank you SO much for reading this and I just had to get it off my chest. If I left any questions unanswered you need to know to help me, please let me know.Sincerely,Hopeless.


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## Al89 (Nov 25, 2008)

Hi Just Me,I'm afraid I can't offer any tips as I am going through what you are, although I'm just in the process of dropping out of my second year of university becuase I'm not living a normal life anymore, just cowering in my room and praying that none of my other four housemates can hear me in the one bathroom we all share. Can I ask, do you have anyone you can talk to completely openly about all of your symptons and emotions? I've only just been diagnosed with IBS an an intolerance to dairy after 3 years of hell and have found my mum to be the only person I can say all the gory details to. She is shocked at how bad it can be and I think it also relieved her becuase she now has a good reason for why her happy-go-lucky daughter turned into a miserable shut in with a permanent frown due to worry and fear.I've joined this forum in the hope that I can talk to people who understand and are not just sympathetic about my problem, because as much as my parents have been great, they don't have it themselves, so they can't help. Thanks for your posting, it was the first thing I've read on here and I know its an odd thing to say but it really helped me to know that other people my age are dealing with it too.


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## It's Just Me (Nov 25, 2008)

Nope, I really don't have anyone to talk to about it. My mom thinks that I constantly over exaggerate my symptoms and use it as an excuse to be lazy.


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## outdoors geek (Nov 23, 2008)

Hey hopeless, welcome to the site.You're going to hate this, and I certainly did when I first discovered IBS and had people tell me all the time - it will get better. Not better as in yay symptom free i can eat what i want and everything is back to normal, but a after managing symptoms life sucks less sort of way. I've had IBS for 4 years and at first it was an absolute nightmare. I didn't want to leave the house and basically wanted to crawl in a hole and die. Now I still have those feelings every once in a while when my IBS flares up but I do leave my house and have begun to enjoy some aspects of life I didn't after the initial diagnosis. Anyways, enough of that, to your post!I'm sorry to hear that you dropped out of school. School is certainly stressful enough without having to worry about having an accident all of the time. I guess I lucked out in the fact I got IBS when I was in college and not during highschool. I'll try and offer some advice but it's hard because everyone is different. I really started watching what I was eating (I got a IBS friendly cookbook from Heather Van....can't spell lol) and that helped somewhat. I tried to limit my stress by reducing my courseload and structuring my classes so each one would have a break in between. I don't know what it's like where you live, but you can take your classes by correspondance here, or go to places that cater to people that have had issues getting their highschool credits. I've pretty much made up my mind to go to each class. If I have to leave, I leave and then come back. Sure I miss some classes, and it's a pain in the a** (pun intended) but my professors have kind of gotten used to it and don't really care as long as I pass their class and don't disrupt everyone. My marks aren't as good as they would be if I didn't spend every five seconds trying to distract myself from my intestines and thus not paying attention to the lecture, but I'll be graduating soonish and I'm glad that I haven't given up completely. When I originally got IBS and didn't want to leave the house (I live with my parents) I freaked out because I figured if something happened to them I was going to be homeless as I wouldn't be able to get a job and support myself with IBS. I have a job at the moment and it's great in the fact that I can go to the bathroom whenever I want as long as I get the work that needs to be done done. Just knowing I can run down the hall to the bathroom if I need to releives a bunch of stress. It all depends on the kind of job and what you're doing. Cashier -> not so good -> you can't run away lol. I started off with small amounts of hours and then gradually worked up. Just take it slow. Like day one, I walked to the mailbox. Then I went back home, then I went out again a bit further. I started going to places in public that hade huge numbers of washrooms, and I know where every public washroom is in my city. I plan my routes to make sure I'm close to one in case I have an attack in the car. While it sucks majorly that I can't be like my friends and just jump into a car spontaneously and go somewhere without all of these things figured out ahead of time, I'm finally able to go out to the movies and stuff. I still have a long way to go and I'm trying to figure out how to go rockclimbing at the moment. I don't think having an attack in the middle of a canyon while on a rope is a situation I want to be in lol.Just remember everyone on this site knows what you're going through (while not completely as we aren't you, we understand the most out of anyone), and if you ever need to talk to someone that can relate, that's what this forum is for. I hope things get better for you, and that you keep us posted. don't give up hope quite just yet.


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## It's Just Me (Nov 25, 2008)

outdoors geek, thanks for the reply. Yeah, I understand what you mean. I feel like you felt right now with the whole "crawling into a hole and dying" thing. I'm hoping that it gets mildly better and it's encouraging to know that it did for you. I believe there is some places by me that offer classes for people with not enough high school credits though I never really looked into it. I have to know though. The days just keep on passing and I'm doing nothing. That is also great you have professors that understand the wonderful world of IBS(Wonderful? Yeah, right. lol). I'm sure that is a rare thing. I feel the same way, The mere though of having to support myself with IBS makes me freak out. I need to get a job like that myself. I've filled out applications for places like a few supermarkets and stuff, but made sure I put down that I couldn't work cashier. Man that would be a nightmare. But with the whole knowing you can just run to that bathroom, it doesn't bother you that someone might be in it or something? I have that fear bad. When I go to a place with only a single bathroom, I think "Oh god, what if I have to go and someone is in there.". It sucks and thinking that OBVIOUSLY doesn't help me feel better in any which way. Also, it seems like you live in a pretty polite place. They understand you at work & school? I live in New York(Long Island to be exact), where being polite is pretty rare. I try to do the same thing when I go out, which is why I like going to the malls. I know where the bathrooms are and with like 10 stalls in each, I know I will always be able to go. Lately, I've been walking up to the stores by me and walking back without any issue really. If I walk, I feel fine. But for some reason if I get in a car to go, my IBS starts going crazy. It's so weird. As for walking to the mailbox, I can't do that. My mailbox is literally right outside my front door. lol But I know what you mean by the walking to the mailbox thing and it's a good idea. Just take small baby steps, and I've been semi-trying to do that lately. What you just said is the most depressing thing for me out of all this. I miss the old days SO much. The days where I could just jump in a car with friends and go where ever the hell I pleased without worrying if there was a bathroom and this and that. It makes me upset even thinking about it and it makes it even worse seeing my friends still do it all the time. They think I choose to sit at home by myself ALL the time because I enjoy it. They don't realize how lucky they are though. As for the rock climbing thing, good luck. lol. But you seem like a confident person who has fought IBS very well and I'm sure you could do the rock climbing thing with no problem if you put your mind to it.Lastly, I'm very thankful I found this forum. Finally found some people I could relate to about this horribly syndrome. Glad to know I'm not the only one who is trapped inside. But yeah, I hope things get better for you as well and I appreciate you taking time out to respond. Take care.


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## JayM (Nov 29, 2008)

Hi, My name is Jay. Nice to e-meet you. First thing I would like to do is share my story. About 5 years ago I had a nervous breakdown of some sort due to a life of hard times growing up in my teens, and into my young adult life. I begin having panic attacks, mildly, and I was put on Zoloft. After about two years of taking it, I started having slight, and gradual symptoms of loose stools. I thought nothing of it, and figured it had something to do with my panic attacks. Things got worse...and have since. For a while, I dealt with it as much as I could. I then realized that I could take Imodium AD to help regulate myself, and I utilized it strategically in a way that I will explain further. First of all, you have to learn to TRAIN your bowel movements. Believe it or not, we have a biological clock inside of us that tries to stay on a regular schedule according to how we live. Like, for instance, if I get up in the morning and go straight to the bathroom, I will eventually train my bowel movements to release right after waking up, cause, for me, that's when they are the most susceptible to being really loose, and THAT'S the best time to counter -attack (if you will) itself by itself. Here's the cool thing, and theory that has worked for me since: train your bowel movements to release at a certain time every day, or around that time. If you feel like there's more in you after going to bathroom once, which I can feel, use your hands to softly shift try and shift those bowels over from the right large intestine, to the left side, and gradually down. You will need to get a picture of intestines to see what your doing exactly. Anyway, once you think everything is out, and you will know it by feeling empty, take one to two Imodium AD's. Taking Imodium AD's while you still have stool within you ready to come out isn't gonna help that part, it will only keep anything else in your small intestine from moving so quikly to your larger intestines. I've been doing this now for about two years. It's worked very well for me, and I have yet to use the bathroom on myself. Sometimes, I'm not always successful, and I have to run to the bathroom after going out to eat, but for the most part it works 90% or more of the time. The key to remember here is to MANIPULATE your own bowel movements so that you speed the process up and get things out sooner, instead of trying to hold on to it. Get it?..It's like, if someone in martial arts punches you, instead of blocking it, you move away from it, letting the puch fly past you, and then counter-attack. It may be hard for you to understand, but I would suggest trying it. I'm 29, and I started having IBS when I was abut 24. I g to school (college), and I work full time. I know how it is like to have your family tell you "it's all in yoru head", etc ,etc. It's NOT! It's a real condition that we all have to deal with. Jay


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