# Trying to understand



## 18680 (Oct 7, 2005)

Hi. I'm usually a more frequent visitor to the meeting place, but since that venue has been closed, I thought I would take a moment to try and learn something. My niece is around 35 years old. For the past year, all she has talked about is fibromyalgia. When she first brought this up, she had gone to a nurse practitioner and by the time she left she was convinced that fibromyalgia was her problem. Although it may well be, I advised her to see a rheumatologist and not to take the nurse practioner's word on something that could be so serious. Eventually, she did see a doctor. When I asked her husband if the doctor had also diagnosed her with it. He said, "No, he says it's stress and depression." When I asked her later that day what the doctor said, she replied, "Oh, it definitely is fibromyalgia. He says it's the worst case he's ever seen." Hmm. Since then, I've listened as patiently as possible as she details her symptoms and insists she has more and more problems as the days go by. I don't want to be insensitive. If she's truly ill with this, then I want to help her. However, I'm not convinced. I have no experience with this disease, so I was wondering if any of you could give me some insight. Thanks.


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## M&M (Jan 20, 2002)

Hi Mrs. Publisher!







I'm glad you decided to pop in over here. This is a really hard situation to figure out! The thing is that, the symptoms of Fibromyalgia are VERY similar to the symptoms of LOTS of other illnesses and diseases. As a matter of fact, most of Fibro symptoms can be most similar to the symptoms of Depression. They can also be similar to thyroid disorders, Lupus, and a host of other diseases.So, that makes it hard to say one way or the other. But, if her husband spoke to the rheumatologist (good call, on your part, Rheumy's are the treating specialists for Fibro), and the rheumy told him it isn't Fibro, but that it IS stress and depression...Well then I would believe that. It's just that some illnesses, like Depression for example, carry such a stigma that people don't want to talk about it, or acknowledge it. The bottom line is that she IS truly ill with something. Whether it is Fibro, Depression, or some invented illness, she is truly ill. I would encourage her to keep pursuing treatment. Make more appointments with the Rheumy, or talk to him/her and see what they reccomend. Sounds like you might need a bit more info before being sure what is really going on here.That's really a tough situation. I'm not sure if I've been any help, maybe some other members will have more insight to share. Please do keep us posted!!


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## Feisty (Aug 14, 2000)

One thing to remember is that Fibro can cause depression to set in because we feel so tired and full of pain. Our fatigue makes it hard to concentrate at times. Although most Doc's advise exercising everyday, even if it is only a short walk, it can be hard to even make the effort to do it if you feel sore, stiff and fatigued. But as much as the Fibro "gets" to me sometimes, I know that if I don't keep moving and stretching, etc., it only gets worse. And I try hard not to dwell on it. There is no point in making myself more depressed over something I am going to have to learn to live with. I have had Fibro for 20 years now and it has not been easy and I have been through the depression phase, too. But I want to "live" and enjoy things as much as possible. I tend to overdo and I pay for it at times, but I do bounce back eventually to a better management level of pain and fatigue. The different seasons can cause more symptoms in some people than others. Each one is different. Fall and winter is worse for me. The cold and dampness and the shorter days seem to affect me more. I try to treat myself to some indoor tanning sessions here and there and it helps me during those long, cold dreary winter times.I love the spring and summer months. It's an "upper" for me.No matter where I am sitting, whether it be a Doc's office or the livingroom chair, I am constantly stretching different muscle groups. It helps alot to do that.


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## M&M (Jan 20, 2002)

That's a good point, Feisty. And you're very right, having Fibro can cause depression. That's something good to remember.2 heads are indeed better than one, eh?


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## Clair (Sep 16, 2000)

Also another point to remember is that depression is a common misdiagnosis for patients with M.E./CFS and Fibro. Some doctors do not believe in fibromyalgia and M.E./CFS so quite often they misdiagnose patients. It took me 12 years from start of my M.E. to get a proper diagnosis because one doctor was insistant that I was depressed and needed to pull myself together....every time I asked why do I have such physical pain in my arms and legs, why can I not physically get out of bed, why do I have migraines, why can't I string a sentence together some days? that all got dismissed and brushed under the carpet. So don't be too quick to dismiss the fact your niece thinks its fibromyalgia...after all who knows their body best? working in the medical profession I have seen several people told there is nothing wrong with them only for it later to turn out there was and the doctor had missed something.But I agree with M&M, the depression thing, sometimes it can be hard for someone to accept they have depression as mental illness still has such stigma attached to it, maybe your niece might feel that if she acknowledged it is depression then that makes it less of an illness and therefore you might not have any support/sympathy for her?


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## 18680 (Oct 7, 2005)

Well, I thought you all might be interested in an update. She doesn't have fibromyalgia. She does have some serious mental problems, however. Apparently, she read about fibromyalgia in a magazine and looked up more info on the internet. The more she found out seemed to coincide with her symptom onset. This has been in response to her mother's (my sister's) diagnosis of a very serious and ultimately terminal condition. She has refused to seek mental health help and is now refusing to return my phone calls. I do appreciate you all taking the time out to help. I wish each of you the best. Mrs. P.


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## M&M (Jan 20, 2002)

Aawwww, Mrs. P, I'm so very sorry to hear that. I hope you can find some peace knowing you are doing your very best to help your niece. All we can do is extend a hand, it's up to them to take hold of it. And we never know what will prompt someone to take hold of our hand, so hang in there and be gentle with yourself.I can only imagine how much stress your whole family must be feeling with your sister's diagnosis. I'm so sorry to hear that. My heart will be with all of you.If we can ever be of any help, please don't hesitate to say. Sending lots of (((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))


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