# Going downhill w IBS-D



## DYING2LIV (Apr 15, 2011)

Hi everyone, just need to get my story out of my system. As we know not many people w out it understand our daily lives. I've been living w it for many , many years now. Well not living , I'd more call it struggling thru everyday life. Well about 4 yrs ago it really started kicking my ass, I think I was getting immune to the lomotil. Sadly to say at the same time I was dating this beautiful, funny, adventurous girl. We all know how scary the word adventurous is to us. But I loved her w every fiber of my being. But up until I met her I never went on far away vacations. But from the beginning I was determined to make her happy, she knew my situation but most dnt get it. Driving vacations weren't too bad , cause if a bear can shit in the woods , so can I,lol. But when ur on ur way to that airport, talk about anxiety. I don't know how I didn't die from fear. For awhile she was my security blanket, I felt comfortable w her. So it made it a little easier. But as my condition worsened and I had more and more DRS appts, she started to tire of it. Now it would be wanna go to the park for a jog, hell no. So she would go w out me. Then it would be can we meet my GF n her husband for dinner sure, only to find out they lived fifty miles away. We all know it's impossible to eat a dinner , get back in the car and drive fifty miles back. I'd rather die. Or can we go to NYC to see a play. That one I would pull off by renting a room near the theatre so I would have somewhere to run to. We all now how crowded b'way theaters are, again terrifying. So to go see a 2 hour $200 play, I would have to turn it into a $1000 overnight stay. But I understood how she felt and wanted to make her happy. By now I could tell she was getting tired of my problem and it was drawing me into a depression. But I never pulled out of my depression and she never let go of her disdain for my health issues. Eventually she began to hate me cause I guess you can't hate a disease unless you have it. I really don't know. I know in a way she was wrong cause I always took care of her when she was sick, right down to washing her fucking ass when she had her knee operated on. But that's me and the way I was raised. I'm sure as you assumed , she left me, left me to rot. I've never loved and hated someone so much at the same time in my life. Obviously my depression grew worse and where I stand now is , my job is next. I'm about to lose that, I loved that too. Thanks for listening. God bless everyone and hope you get some relief from this scourge of a disease.


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## jaumeb (Sep 1, 2014)

She didn't deserve someone like you. You'll find someone better.

And we will find remedies for this disease.


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## DYING2LIV (Apr 15, 2011)

Thank you. I hope we do. Quality of life w this disease is non existent.


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## jaumeb (Sep 1, 2014)

Search the forum for ideas. If you can't find any, let me know and I'll give you some.


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## shelivin (Aug 8, 2013)

wow i could just cry for you! that girl lost a fantastic man! you will find someone one day that will maybe not understand but be suportive like me i have a lovely husband that is my rock and if not for him and my son i wouldnt be here cos this ibs-d is a living hell! i dont know what meds you are on but i take amptytriptline its a mild anti depressant but it helps with the D aswell its been really good for me with depression and anxiety. also take mebreverine, codine and a multi vitamin probiotic all in one capsual. hope that things get better for you!


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## DYING2LIV (Apr 15, 2011)

Thank you everyone for your support and encouraging words. Sad part is sometimes it only comes from those who experience what we go through. I'm so tired of this, the fatigue it causes the body is debilitating. Today I'm going for my fourth colonoscopy in 5 yrs. sometimes I have to laugh at this disease, although it's not a happy laugh. You know how the day before the procedure you have to drink that nasty liquid to make you go to the bathroom, Lol well here's the funny part. I didn't have to start the liquid til about 5:00 pm, well I spent the whole morning with massive diarrhea, by time I had to do the liquid there was nothing left in me. I'm sorry but that's just a plain kick in the fuckin ass. Well still sitting you know where, hoping I'll make it to the clinic w out crapping myself. Ah what a life!


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## shelivin (Aug 8, 2013)

hi when i went for the colonoscopy id been so ill with D for a few weeks and was weak anyway the day before i started the explosion drink as i call it spent 12hrs straight glued to the loo felt like i was gonna die, my husband had to carry me into the bath, dry me and to put it blunt clean the bath out as had a accident i layed on the floor wishing i was dead! my husband rang the hospital and asked what to do as no way was i making the 20min taxi ride n they said rescedual appointment when i felt better i must have had a reaction to the premeds. so i didnt make it i instead was doubled up in agony still sat on the loo crying my eyes out i was like that for 5 days straight i was skin and bone id lost weight rappidly. i vowed id never go through that again. so i research everything the doctors give me before it goes near my mouth. judging by everyone on here its a waste of time anyway as shows nothing. IBS is what the doctors put everything down to that they cant find an explenation for! we all suffering cos doctors dont have a clue how to treat us or anything about it not even specialists i seen had a clue infact one of them told me to avoid stress like thats even possible! god i sure hope there is some research done to find some help for us all as its just hell!


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