# I know i must be patient but...



## sweetcravings (Aug 12, 2009)

I'm feeling a little discouraged. I'm on day 37 of the hynotherapy tapes and not feeling like i'm making lots of progress. I know the commentary says to not force it too much but it's really hard for me. Maybe it's my subconcious just testing me. Each and every day i really have to force myself to listen to the tapes. Often i don't want to, but i do anyways. My enthusiasm is fading quickly. Especially with the current session. I dunno if it's just because i can't quite visual what is asked, or if i feel i have to concentrate too hard during the session. It almost feels like work when i listen to this session. Also, i have a lot of problems with urgency and find that it hits me at the worst of time, often in public..grocery store etc... How does one implement 'skills' learned through the hyno. when there is people everywhere. Its not like i can just stop and lay down and try and relax, nor will it look very normal if i stop in the middle of the grocery isle to try and reduce my symptoms. I guess i'm just wondering how do i do this without looking like a total weirdo? I do find that i try to talk myself out of the symptoms, but this isn't always effective. Any suggestions? I guess i'm just looking for some support and advise. Maybe i'm just too impatient with the whole process. I have to say in spite of everything else, i am sleeping wonderfully and am getting out the door in the morning a bit quicker. suzanne


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## cookies4marilyn (Jun 30, 2000)

Hi Suzanne,The fact that you are getting better sleep and your mornings are a bit easier shows that there is some progress being made. I know it is difficult, because we live in an "instant" society and we want immediate results. Some folks fo have quick results, but others like myself, take longer. That is why I am still here to encourage, because I was one of the longest people to see results - almost every single person I have encouraged, saw faster and better results than I did - I went from almost housebound, with urgency, D and pain lasting for hours almost every day, to now being able to function.Remember that you dont have to actively "do' anything - your subconscious mind will take the visualizations onboard -just listen passively. When I first began the program, I would try so hard to do the visualizations, and Mike told me not to think it through, just listen and if nothing came to mind, not to worry - forcing and thinking brings the process into your thinking or conscious mind, and the work and progress is not done there, but in the subconscious, and helps the brain and the gut communicate with each other better.As far as being in the grocery store, I know that feeling well - you are still early in the program, so dont give up on yourself. If you feel you have to force yourself to listen to the sessions, perhaps you may want to take a break and start over after a few weeks or so - or just take a few days off, then count back to the number of days you took a break and begin again from there.Also - if you are in the US or Canada, you can call 877-898-2539 for personal support and help through this - that is part of the program is personal support.I had much the same comments as you do early on, and was very discouraged, and lacked enthusiasm when I didnt think anything was happening. But after the third round (most people are helped with one round, but I am sharing this so you will have hope) I was in the parking lot of the store and had errands to run, and the old pain, and rumbling and urgency feelings came upon me - and within a few seconds - not even as long as it is taking me to type this - I had the unspoken feeling or thought of - I dont want this, I dont need this - and the pain and urgency went away! I mean like in less than a minute. So I sat there, thinkng should I hurry home, should I go to the store (it was one where the restrooms would be embarrassing) - so I just went to the store - and like 5 hours later when I got home, it dawned on me that I hadnt had an attack, and did not have one later either- and that was how it got better and better for me - less and less severity and less and less often.So there is real hope - hang in there, and do call if you need to talk to someone. But in the meantime, know that this program has been available to the public since 1998, the protocol was developed and used with patients since 1992, and there are eight years of overwhelmingly positive feedback - far outweighing the negative - the program is not a cure, it does not work for everyone, but for the vast majority of folks who try it, they are helped - so this should give you some good encouragement.I was where you are now, and now I am here to help others just as others encouraged me back in 2000 when I first came to this BB - so that is hopeful for you to think about!Hope this helped a bit - take care, and all the best to you on your journey to feeling better!Take care!


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## sweetcravings (Aug 12, 2009)

Hi Marilyn Thank you sooo much for the support, i needed that today. After reading your post, i started to think that maybe i am trying too hard with this session. I remember in the last session(session 2) i visualized but didn't concentrate as hard as i have this session. I would occassionally get so relaxed that i would 'miss' parts of the session, almost falling asleep. This session i have been trying so hard to focus and do everything Mike says that i almost don't relax fully, if that makes sense. Perhaps i'll try 'letting go' a bit more and see if that helps my attitude. It really does help to talk to someone who has been through this..thank you! I would say urgency is one of my most pressing issues at the time. If i'm ever going to take an immodium it when the urgency hits out in public. Just taking that is often enough to stop any further problems. Now after reading your post i started to think about things...on the weekend i was at the market with my family. My son had to go to the bathroom and i agreed to take him to the toliet. Well, just that thought was enough to get my tummy turning(my tummy had been particularily active that morning). By the time i found the bathroom i was feeling pretty bad but when i entered, just about every stall i was disgusted with how dirty they were. I walked into the best looking one and just stood there, sweating, stomach cramping..and i found myself talking myself out of going. Especially since i didn't have to go before my son suggested going there. Well, i made it out to the car, took an immodium, just in case..and made it home, no accidents. Granted i was talking to myself most of the way home. I wonder if my DH thought i was nuts. Would you consider that a success? Maybe i'm just being to hard on myself. I have been able to talk myself out of this several times, and resist the urge to use the toliet...progress? My husband seems to think that i need to stop my 'ritual' of sitting on the toliet prior to going out, or just deciding to go for a walk without the toliet break first..i'm just not there yet. Maybe that's why i feel like i'm not progressing as i should. He has such high expectations, and is kinda putting that on me.Your stories really do sound so similar to my situation. I pray i will find that sort of success. It's hard, because no one around me has this problem and often they just don't get it. I haven't even given them the CD for the companion because i just don't think they would change their opinions. DH can be supportive, but over the last year has become more impatient with my IBS. I did mention that CD to him but he hasn't listened to it yet.Is the support number you gave me toll free or does it cost to use it? Marilyn, thank you so much for taking the time to talk me through this. HugsSuzanne


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## cookies4marilyn (Jun 30, 2000)

Hi Suzanne,the number is free - you just leave a message and the number to call and someone will get back to you as they can - if you have a time frame, you can mention that too -I totally relate to all you mention - firstly -no worries about drifting to sleep or not remembering the sessions - just relax, totally let go, and dont intellectualize too much - I know I did - but as Mike told me - once I just sort of had a blaze` attitude - just listened almost like it was in the background, I started to do much better - you know when you have the radio on in the background of your life, and sometimes you will hear an ad or message, or song that you suddenly pay attention to? But the whole time it is on, the rest of the time it is just background noise? Well that is because your subconscious heard everything and then it tuned into something of interest and your attention went to it - so dont worry about not actively listening.Yep - regarding just the mention of going out, or bathroom or food issues - I know all about this - even just the thought of it, sets off the symptoms - I do think you made progress - there used to be something in my mind that said I should go to the bathroom 'while I can" all that preventitive stuff - I know all about that, and that is totally the mind-gut connection, and the sessions are designed to deal with it - the fact that you had control enough to get home and not use the dirty bathroom shows that YOU are in control - I remember many times having to use the bad bathrooms - so that is REAL progress - and with each round of progress it gets better and better and easier too...Also, my marriage broke up in part because of my IBS - there were other thngs too, but I know the strain of having this condition was a big factor - some thought I brought it on myself, quit thinking about it, wrong foods, etc. IBS was always my fault, rather than something that was happening "to" me - but you can rest assured knowing that IBS is a malfunction in part , in the way the brain in the mind and the brain and nerves in the gut communicate with each other - just as if you heard a loud bang, your heart would race, your eyes would dilate, and you would jump!!! You didnt cause that reaction - it was automatic - well, so too with IBS - your body learns an incorrect way to deal with motility and pain issues and accepts this as the correct routine - an automatic - but undesired - response. I know I cried when I first listened to the IBS Companion CD - one of the lines - was to be as loving and understanding as you can - tell your hubby that I - a lady on the BB - went thru this and please listen to the companion CD - tell him you are trying to do something about it and take charge of the condition - and you want his love understanding and support to get better - by being kind and understanding the attacks will be easier, and subside too - it is all part of the condition in how we react to those we live with - well, you know this of course...Feel free to call the number - they may not be able to get back to you today, but they will definitely get back to you and help you through this if you wish...Take care, and know that there is real hope out there - you can make it! You'll see!







xx (((HUGS))))


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## sweetcravings (Aug 12, 2009)

Thank you Marilyn. I will try calling the number when the need arises. It really does help to talk about it and get support. Even you sharing your experiences puts my mind at ease. I'm sorry to hear that your marriage broke up due to it. But i'm so happy to hear you have found success finally. Oh, the crying..i did that too. In fact i cried all the way through the intro commentary the first time i listened to it. It was as if Mike was speaking directly to me. I did everything he spoke about. Then i cried when i heard that companion guide, and then again, almost each time i listen to session 2. The words are so true to my experience. I really do feel the pain at certain parts of the session. I find myself laying on the bed with tears rolling down my face. They have touched me to the core. This last session not so much but i guess the session is different in that sense. I don't want to say to much for fear of ruining it for others. One thing i can give these CD's is that they certainly do address some of the REAL feelings i have been having. I always knew the IBS affected my life, but when it's put into words like this it really touches home. Thanks for being a friend and all your kind support. HUGS.Suzanne


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## cherrypie09 (Jan 20, 2009)

SweetcravingsI can sympathise with you, every thing you are saying to do with the ibs-d is me, i have urgency with D and am frightened of going out incase i need a toilet in a hurry, i take imodium every day, but still get loose bms, worse if i am uptight or anxious as i suffer with anxiety as well. Also the hypnotherapy cds, i am struggling with them as well, i have listened to the 100 days, then took a break and i am now on day 20 for the second time around, i have trouble visualising and most times i fall asleep listening so not sure how they can be doing anygood. Keep at it . Also practice holding on when you get the urge to go to the toilet, i do pelvic floor exercises and if i get the urge to go i just stand still breath deep and calm and pull up my pelvic floor muscles until the urge goes away long enough to get to the toilet. I still worry lots when im out, a accident in my pants would be devastating.


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## cookies4marilyn (Jun 30, 2000)

Oh dear Cherrypie - Hang in there hon - everyone's journey is different - there is one VERY IMPORTANT THING I need to share with both of you-Your progress with the hypnotherapy program is - ironically enough (is that a word?!) dependent upon how many times you ACTIVELY bring IBS thoughts to mind - All day long you think about IBS, especially if you will have an attack, while you are having the attack, and after the attack wondering when the next one will be - etc. By thinking about it - this makes the IBS entrenched even more and more into our thoughts - this happened to me also.But for now, these thoughts are a "natural", though unwanted part of the IBS condition - however - this may seem sort of odd, but, coming here to the BB actually reinforces IBS thinking and can delay your progress. I often suggest to my IBS friends here that they take a break from the BB if at all possible - because typing out your symptoms, thinking about them as you type, reading other people's symptoms, etc. only serves to make the IBS thinking even more entrenched. The IBS Audio Program is specifically designed to take you away from thinking about IBS - in fact, many people say the transition is so subtle and so gradual, that one day they think to themselves, gee, I havent had an IBS attack for a while - it doesnt even occur to them that the improvement has taken place - for others, it is a drastic change - they are better sooner and noticably so - So I know it is sort of a catch-22 thing - you feel a need to come here and to receive support from your friends here, and to compare symptoms and progress, etc. and so did I - I have been here since 2000! So I know how that is - but I have had to take breaks away until my healing was better - bringing the IBS thoughts to the forefront of my thinking wasnt always in my own best interest either - so I learned the hard way - and of course Mike says that most people - especially those that see him in his practice - dont go to support bbs while doing the program.The downside of that of course, is that we all need some TLC and communication with people who understand and are going through what we are experiencing and this in itself can be a comfort - so you have to decide which would be most beneficial. The other downside is that those who have not have improvement with the program are here and discourage others, while those that have seen great success no longer need to come here, and dont come back to report their progress because IBS is not even in their thoughts or life anymore - (not all people find this as helpful, tho most do, as with any treatment method - sometimes it is just not their way forward, and sometimes they dont do the program as instructed, and sometimes they are on here too much, or they dont ask for personal support, which in those cases, can make all the difference to talk to someone personally who has been through it and can help!) So my suggestion to you both - if it is at all possible - is to try not to come to the BB (or at least taper off, or try not to read or type out symptoms, just "socialize" only if you need the TLC) - and this may help you move forward. And believe me, I was on this BB every day back in 2000, typing out every play by play, and I do believe that this contributed to my delay - Note too, Suzanne - you are doing better than I did at this point - and Cherry - so are you - dont worry about sleeping and the message getting in or any of that - just relax, let go, and go with the flow as they say - I obsessed - I used to rewind the bits I thought I didnt hear or visualize "correctly" - I would stop the recording and think if I did it right, I was the WORST case as far as listening, obsessing, and being severe refractory IBS - so I guess that is why the Man Upstairs has put me here - because if I came through it - almost anyone can...So let that be a bit of hope for ya! ((((HUGS))) to you both - hang in there - dont give up!!!!!!







xx


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## sweetcravings (Aug 12, 2009)

Thanks Marilyn,You bring up lots of valid points. Since the program, i've only come here twice. Both times it was in relation to the CD's. I haven't really browsed other areas. I didn't realize there was the support phone line, so this was my way of finding a few answers. After much after thought, I do think i'm making some progress. We went across the border to shop yesterday. My experience was much better than it used to be. In fact there were several times throughout the day when i got that feeling of urgency, but they subsided pretty quickly. The fact that i took no immodium all day was a miracle in itself. Before i would be taking three or more just to get through. I will be patient and just try to put the IBS behind me. suzanne


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## Kathleen M. (Nov 16, 1999)

That sounds like a great day. Hopefully you will have more and more of those.


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