# Oh woe is me ...



## jms1963

It has been a rough few weeks and I find that I've been obsessing over my problems, which in turn aggravates my IBS of course. I've just had the overall YUCK feeling for weeks now ...It's not one thing in particular, it's everything piled together. I get the attitude "why do I even try?" and then wallow in self pity.When I think of how small my problems are (compared to some --- Nessa's family and dear little Scarlett) I feel guilty for feeling sorry for myself. I've been through this feeling of doom many times and I can usually snap out of it in a couple of days but this time I'm having a hard time ....Jodie


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## Guest

Darling - you have my total sympathy and yeah I know what you mean - I've been having problems - well you know what that's about - but in the great scheme of things and compared to what Nessa's family are going through - tis as nothing - still, that doesn't make what you are going through any better does it and feeling wrong side out doesn't exactly set you up for the day either.So all good sunny vibes coming from over the Pond - I'm back at work today and the kids are trickling back to school Monday, Tueday and Wednesday respectively - hows the lad been over the summer - is he back yet then?You take care - and don't feel guilty for "wallowing" - if you're having a Pity Party I'll bring the bevvies OK.Sue xxxxx


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## jms1963

Last Monday was Nick's first day of school. He is in 9th grade now which is at the High School. He seems to be okay with it, but still hasn't found his locker ! He says the halls are too confusing and crowded ....Yesterday was Labor Day here in the U.S. - a no work holiday ! We swam a little and then my husband and I went for a motorcycle ride. I don't know what my problem is lately - I even had a extra day off from work and my mood has not lifted. Guess you better get over here with some adult beverages for my pity party !Thanks Sue.Jodie


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## Guest

Oh god love you Jodes - mind, autumn is classically a time for feeling abit wrong side out - shorter evenings etc.Well you know me - any excuse to crack open a bottle (or three) of red - you should have come to our BBQ on Saturday - for the "street" - god that lot can drink the GG and I under the table - 3.00AM finally threw the last of them out.Its a funny old time of year - 2 of my kids are now back at school - so Clare and I have just had a really nice girlie morning getting her school shoes, bag and pens and owt like that - but she's gone off with her mate and the house seems right quiet now - just me and a very lovely rug on legs whose just been tarted at the Grooming Parlour - he sends a tail wag.You take careSue xxxx


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## jms1963

I guess I'm one of those seasonal mood swingers .....Lately I've been thinking of just becoming a hermit and having no contact with anyone. Everyone just seems to grate on my nerves - I've never felt this way before, boy what a lousy attitude I have !


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## Guest

Oh love ya Jodes - don't disappear from here will you?I remember my Criminal Law Lecturer (a mad soul at the best of times) saying "don't you ever have days when you could run amok in Oxford Road (Manc's main thoroughfare) with a sythe" - I love that - does that sum up your mood then???Actually we are having a glorious Indian summer here in Manchester - typical now the kiddies are going back to school - gorg.Well, here's hoping you feel better soon - come on could be worse - I turn 45 in 3 weeks!!! and am still totally unable to shift that stone of weight that hangs about me midriff - I've been searching high and low for me waistline - you haven't seen it your neck of the woods have you hun????Sue xxxxx


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## jms1963

How's this for a skinny waistline ??? I wouldn't want to be that skinny .......


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## Guest

Oh Jods where did you dig that old photo from - blimey I think I was about 21 there.Seriously - I think about 10 of her could fit into one of me - not a nice thought!!!Desperately seeking Susan('s waistline)Sue


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## jms1963

Alot of my anxiety comes from my job. I have researched other jobs but have found that the starting wage is considerably less than what I make now (been at the same place for 20 years).So if I quit my job and get one with less pay and benefits I may be happier but will have anxiety over money ....Jodie


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## Guest

Oh bummer Jodes - what is it you do - sorry, can't remember???I suppose you have to weigh up your salary against your physical and mental wellbeing - not easy is it.Good luck - hope you can find something that covers all basesSue xxx


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## jms1963

I do all the administrative/book keeping work for a small contracting company - accts receivable, accts payable, billing, payroll, benefits, banking/financial, etc. etc. etc.It's a small office with only 2 of us (the only 2 females) doing all the paperwork - I like what I do, but it tends to get overwhelming at times and the other people at the company (sales, service staff) tend to think that we must cater to their every need. Old school chauvinistic ways ...Jodie


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## Screamer

Just butting into your conversation here. Jodie, I hear you. I go through these times too (and I have to say that I AM a hermit as far as "real" friends go, it's started to grate on hubby's nerves that I'm not a people person at all. He's very into the social life). I suffer from it with the season changes too although I'm a bit back to front and find that I get more depressed as summer approaches rather than autumn. As for that stick insect, I think 20 of her could fit in me too


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## jms1963

Screamer -My husband is the same way. When we do have friends over I'm okay for an hour or two but after that I'm ready for them to leave. It's not that I don't like them, but by 9 PM I'm usually ready to get cozy and relax.We often have the discussion that I have no hobbies. I work full-time, take care of most of the household and child rearing responsibilities - I don't have the time or energy most days to do much more. I have a few things I like to do, but none that I'm a die-hard about. He on the other hand is so involved in whatever hobby he has at the moment that that's all he does - very one track minded.We are so opposite of each other - I guess it's true what the say - that opposites attract.Jodie


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## Screamer

Oh definitely! Mr Screams and I couldn't get MORE different. Seriously, we disagree on EVERYTHING!!! Right down to what should and shouldn't be eaten and whether or not he should get a haircut Wow, you really have your hands full with working full time and parenting (and all that comes along with that title that only another woman would understand). I'm exhausted most of the time and I don't even go out to work, the kids are my work (and Mr S is my work







)Yeah, I'm not big on visitors either. I don't like people invading my personal space, tee hee. I think I'm really a grandma at heart. I like to be wandering around in my pj's from about 5pm onwards. I hate summer cause it's too hot to be wearing pj's before sundown!


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## jms1963

I consider my husband to be one of my kids







I really only have one (boy-14). Even on the weekends I like to be in bed by 10. My body clock doesn't cooperate well with change.My husband thinks I'm an ole fuddy-duddy.


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## Guest

Oh bless you - I'd say the GG and I are pretty different too - I drive him mad cos I'm always inviting people here and throwing parties etc - he's a good egg and quite sociable but I think he likes the house to himself more often than he's given chance to - as to hobbies - hmm - with 3 kids??? Well I suppose there's my crozzly little vollie job at the Mill and we both like hill-walking and the pub (though I'm not sure they constitute hobbies exactly) - given the chance - he'd love to do clay-pigeon shooting but there isn't alot of that about in Manchester really - sadly rather too many real guns!!Well - I wish you well - hope you can find something that doesn't make you feel so grotty.Sue xxx


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## kitkat17 Lady of the Loo

WHen I read this I CAN TOTALLY relate. I am never happy it seems at times. My menapuase has gotten the best of me. I am so sad, depressed, feel so alone, my friends forever even get on my nerves. my Hubby, well I cannot stand him at times either. I want to dig a hole and stay in there. I TRY and TRY but I hate life right now. I know I could be worse off too. BUT this IBS has me stuck in my house. hating life.If you want to talk with someone who knows just how you feels, pm me with your email adress.Take care and try to feel betterKat


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## Guest

Oh god love you Kitkat - life can be a right facer sometimes can't it. Well we certainly hit rough waters on the old domestic front back earlier this year and its horrendous - frosty silences, polite meaningless exchanges - yeah, been there, got the t-shirt right enough. Surely it hasn't always been like this though has it? I'm sorry I'm being a divvie but you've got kids haven't you - are they still around and about. When things were really "lean" here - my son Jack was an absolute life-line - as was my sister and friends I made here too helped alot.I promise you - you are not alone. As to this "complex" - who said this - your husband? Well whoever it was - not very constructive and sounds like the worst sort of mind-games. How on earth is that supposed to move things forward in any way, shape or form???All good vibes to you kiddo - I really know what its like to feel like this and hope things improve for you very soon.Sue xxxxx


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## Screamer

I own that T-Shirt too, although in this household it's more yelling and screaming than cold indifference. ((hugs Kat)). Yeah, I'm an old fuddy duddy too and as for real life friends? I don't have any!


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## Guest

Oh Screams - what you like kiddo???Hey, when are you moving or have you - sorry with all the comings and goings on the board I'm not sure who is doing what at t'mo???Sue xxxxx


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## Screamer

No, haven't moved yet







House hunting is totally not happening. Problem is we've rented from the government here for the last 8 years so we look bad on paper even though we've look after the house and rent is always paid there's a stereotype of govie tennants so no one will give us a chance. But we've written ourselves a cover letter explaining that we are/will be good tennants and are going to sign a stat dec stating the same and hopefully someone will give us a go


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## jms1963

Oh Screamer don't get me started on "real life friends" - I could go on for hours ...







Jodie


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## Screamer

jms1963 said:


> Oh Screamer don't get me started on "real life friends" - I could go on for hours ...
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> Jodie


+1 I've been badly burned by pretty much every single one of them


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## jms1963

I've come to a point in my life that I don't want to get too close to any friends for fear of getting hurt. I lost faith in the whole close friendship theory. I know people change, they're busy, yada, yada, yada .... but that doesn't mean they have to totally disappear from your life with no explanation. After knowing someone for over 20 years, sharing secrets, good times and bad, you would think people could at least take 2 minutes to give you a call. Oh well, enough of that whining ...I had actually had a half decent day yesterday - went out for breakfast, to a craft show, floated in the pool - all with my husband ... Be still my heart ! Today is cleaning and wash day --







better than being at work though !Jodie


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## Guest

Oh I can completely relate - and I cannot be bothered with folk who say they are too busy - load of hogswill - I have a mate like that "I don't know WHEN we'll see you" (subtext - we are far, far too busy with our fabulous lives to bother with you poor sad souls any more) - crapola. If you care about somebody enough - you can invest the time and energy in an e-mail or summat once a week for god's sake. My mate Julia and I manage to stay in touch weekly and she's lived in Latvia, Istanbul and Winchester in the last year. It really doesn't take much and it certainly kept me afloat - my sis and I chatter away at least 3 times a week, Bobbie here on the board is a total lifeline - especially when things were really rotten last week - so thank you hun, you chaps have kept me going when things got really rotten earlier this year (so thank you Mark, Jannie, Screamer, Odeal, Mrs P, Cherrie...... I could go on and on), don't know what I'd do without my mate Helen down the road. I think its true that you do have to work at your friendships to keep them alive and yes, I think its fair to say - particularly at "my" time of life - mid-40's, teenagers wanting to be run here there and everywhere, hubby's work very pressured, parents ageing fast - things can run away from you but I cannot and will not buy the excuse that folk are too busy - without friendships and relationships what on earth are we???Sue


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