# Sexual Issue... Someone please help...



## hells_angels_y2k (Sep 24, 2003)

Ok, this is really personal and I don't feel comfortable saying it but i need to know!When me and my boyfriend and having sex, I find that if he goes too fast I feel like something is gonna come out of 'there'. Does anyone else suffer this and is it IBS related?







I need to know cos it's bugging me and it's annoying having to yell 'stop'!!


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## Yuli (Jan 19, 2003)

i can't believe i'm talking about this, but yes and yes...I'm IBS C, and the most embarassing thing about sleeping with my boyfriend is having to put my hand down there to make sure nothing came out.







so far nothing happened but i don't dare share that concern with him - he's IBS D coincidentally so he's understanding but there's no way he'd be comfortable with bowel movement sex (same goes for me...)Also, if I happen to be gassy I feel like the gas is getting pushed back into me and I get pain/cramps that kinda take away the fun of it. As you said, this pretty much only happens if we're going too fast. I'm pretty sensitive to pain in general so it's normal for me to ask him to slow down and he doesn't question or wonder; it could be anything.I don't know if it's actually possible to accidentally poo from sex, but I sure hope it's not. Sorry I didn't have any insight, but at least you know you're not alone...


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## asian_girl (Aug 22, 2003)

hells angels...YES!!! i thought i was the only one experiencing that. anyhow, my bf tends to go fast, and sometimes i get dry coz all im thinking of is "man, is my 5hit going to come out???" i know im being blunt, but im being real. i also get very gassy too. sometimes i just let it rip and laugh like crazy. me and my bf are close, so if i have to go to the loo, i just tell him, and we stop doing it. he gets disgusted but owell.


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## erin5983 (Mar 25, 2003)

oh, yes. nothing ruins any sort of sexual mood more than a fear like that. i just slow down and reassure myself. not too sure how to deal with an issue like this. i panic more than normal because i read on some random ibs website that this happened to a woman, and now it's all i think about sometimes. my best advice-- if you feel like hell or it's been bad that day, just go to bed.


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## hells_angels_y2k (Sep 24, 2003)

That's a relief! I though I wasn't gonna get a reply and everyone would think I'm wierd! It's relieveing to know I'm not the only one but still mighty embarrassing!!







Does anyone have a remedy becuase I'm going off the idea of sex completely now becuase of the omnipresent worry of... well you know...


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## betagirl (Oct 12, 2002)

Hi hellsYES this happens to me a lot. I have crohn's and sex has become rather unimportant to me since I got diagnosed. The other problem I have is getting "aroused" causes my right side, where the crohn's is, to hurt. But yes the feeling like I'm going to mess the bed is HIGHLY distracting. If you figure out how to get around it let me know


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## bad girl (Aug 19, 2003)

I say take it slow but do it anyway. I feel like that sometimes, but when I don't, its awesome. I also try to deep breathe and think about the moment instead of everything else. THat helps to enjoy it and not worry. I think much of the problem is anxiety.


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## Engine23 (Nov 19, 2002)

Ladies do different positions help? Just curious from the male pespective I find all the shaking bothers me but the spoon and cowgirl seem to cause less problems....


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## blinky (Oct 4, 2003)

evening all, well what interesting reading, this prob happened to me last night and i was just thinking about it...spooky!anyway if in pain go slow!also i find if you are a bit gassy and uncomfortable taking things nice and slow can jiggle things around and can actually help!To the man amongst us....yes differnt posions help.ALOT!BUT ALAS AS WE ALL KNOW IF HAVING A MAJOR ATTACK SEX IS NOT AN OPTION!


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## kiryakitty (Aug 16, 2003)

I have a different sort of question... With all my gas and what have you I have a hard enough time just trying to feel SEXY! I just feel so disgusting and uncomfortable, no matter much I love someone I don't want anyone to touch me







! How do you guys deal with the ebarassment/shame issues??????







-Kirya


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## hells_angels_y2k (Sep 24, 2003)

I think different positions do help. Me on top doesn't cause too much of a problem unless he is trying to cum and going really really fast in which case, I don't wamma tell him to stop cos its not fair so i just grin and bear it...







Doggy Style is another that doesn't affect it. The main one is him on top, thats like "STOP STOP!!! I DONT WANNA #### ALL OVER THE BED!!"







Honestly though, me and Alex, my boyfriend, hardly do it anymore cos im just never ever up for sex. We still do other things but sex is like, once a fortnight. Im starting to feel kinda bad for him now. He's always up for it.I hope it gets better everyone. Really reassuring that I'm not alone in this little predicament... Byee!!


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## erin5983 (Mar 25, 2003)

different positions seem to help me, too. me on top is definitely the best for me because then i can also control things to an extent and slow it down depending on how the stomach is feeling.kirya, as to how to deal with the embarrassment, i wish i knew. it's so humiliating sometimes that I just deal with it and finish up and bear it because it makes him feel bad when I have to stop because I'm in pain, or my stomach starts acting up, because he feels like he's causing it or something, I guess. And stopping is definitely not fun, so then I feel bad for him and it's just this endless circle, lol. I wish there was an easy way to get over the shame part of it-- no matter how open my boyfriend and I are with each other, there are still times where I just can't stand to discuss certain things with him.


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## hells_angels_y2k (Sep 24, 2003)

You should be able to tell him everything including that! If he laughs he's a wanker!So, has anyone actually tried just carrying on to see what happens? I don't dare cos, well, I like my sheets.If anyone has tried to just carrying on please let me know what happens as I would like to know but I dont wanna try to find out for myself - how do I explain that one to my mum!?







Cheers everyone!!


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## dbains2k (Jun 8, 2003)

Hmm... for once I'm really glad that I 'm single and never have sex due to all the stress it seems to cause here.


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## LabradorDalley (Nov 17, 2003)

if they really love you and are worth having sex with, they won't say anyting mean or degrading if you do stop them and run to the bathroomive never had that happen, buti only recently told my bf i had ibs. before idid, yeah i had a fwe panic attacks in my mind thinking something was going to happen that shouldn't. my best method of dealing with it was to swtich positions .he never had a clue and just thought that was cool. haha.


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## LabradorDalley (Nov 17, 2003)

if they really love you and are worth having sex with, they won't say anyting mean or degrading if you do stop them and run to the bathroomive never had that happen, buti only recently told my bf i had ibs. before idid, yeah i had a fwe panic attacks in my mind thinking something was going to happen that shouldn't. my best method of dealing with it was to swtich positions .he never had a clue and just thought that was cool. haha.OH YEAH: THe worst is as you relax as youre falling asleep and get all gassy.Believe it or not this happened THE FIRST NIGHT i spent with my boyfriedn....I wantedto die. He didn't say a word at the time cus i was too paranoid to move but the next day he mentioned it laughing and said "Good to kknow i dont have to hide mine!" . Being a guy abd all you know what they are like. That was before he knew i had ibs. before i even knew.


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## mikestujd (Nov 19, 2003)

Hey all, im new at this and my symptoms probably arent as bad as others, i just get the gurgling noises, gas, bloating and constant vibrations at random times... usually during class of course. No D or C.Anyway once after I was with this girl I briefly dated I felt a strong attack on my stomach. It was so bad I thought of everything to get her to leave. There was no way i could cuddle! I was so glad that she left because I could not control the gas and loud noises. Now looking back on it I know she thought I was a jerk (aka typical guy). Sometimes I think this IBS is my punishment for making it look like I used the girl. Thus IBS makes nice guys act like Jerks.Take careMichael


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## PandoraNS (Nov 9, 2003)

I have a boyfriend and it seems we might be getting serious and I'm wondering if anyone has any suggestions on how to tell someone you have IBS so they won't be grossed out. I mean he knows I have "stomach problems" but no more than that. I'm lucky that most of the nights I've slept (literally) tgether nothing has happened but he's gonna come visit me over our Christmas break and then I won't have a chance to be away from him and he's gonna see the true side to my "stomach problems" and I'm afriad he's gonna think its gross...


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## hells_angels_y2k (Sep 24, 2003)

If your boyfriend finds your IBS gross when you tell him then tell him he's an arsehole. IBS is not disgusting, it's just something we have to live with and if he has a problem with it then he's got issues!!! Take care.


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## Runnerchick (Dec 5, 2003)

i agree pandora if your b/f really loves you then telling him you have ibs isnt a big deal. i got really nervous to about telling my b/f who i have been together now for over a year and he was suprrised i got so worried over it. It didnt bother him at all. i bascly just told him what it was and told him to look it up. that way i didnt have to be the one to tell him all the details. He was really cool w/ it. I fanything it will bring the two of you closer.


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## PandoraNS (Nov 9, 2003)

Thanks guys! Your support helps. I think I'll probably sit him down when he comes to visit so he knows. It's great to have ppl to turn to when I have IBS questions.


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## hells_angels_y2k (Sep 24, 2003)

Bump


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