# Sigh



## healingforward (Feb 8, 2013)

Until I was 18 I was IBS-D. My mother had it as well. I was raised to watch what I ate to determine what was causing it. I remember one bad incident when I went to a school camp in 8th grade. I had a terrible bout in the bathroom and I laughed. The other girls were mortified. I think that was the moment when it no longer felt like just a problem, but another element of my social rejection. I was disliked in that cabin and I remember writing a poem about wanting to take my last bow.

When I was 18, the summer before college I went to Russia. The milk they had there was not well refrigerated and I wouldn't drink milk or eat things with dairy. My host family was concerned and offered me fresh goat milk at their relative's farm. I heartily drank it the first go around as I missed milk. The second time it smelled too much like goat. I had various bouts of IBS-D as well during that time. It was difficult to be in someone else's house and have stomach issues.

When I went to college I slowly started developing gas problems which eventually lead to leaky gas. I also had more explosive IBS-D on occasion, especially if I had hot soup, or had hot soup with something cold like ice cream. By the time I was in graduate school I was pretty used to having the gas, but it was getting worse. I went to a gastroenterologist at the highly regarded University and he pretty much didn't have much to say except that I probably had Lactose Intolerance and it was probably related to my Depression. Things stayed the same, the gas getting worse, and the IBS-D going away. And then about six years ago I went on Cymbalta. This medication caused me terrible D. I had to start taking Acidophilus to tolerate the medication. But it lead to some embarrassment at work. Then my gas starting getting worse. Lactaid wasn't working as well anymore.

Then four years ago I had a baby and lots of things went downhill after that. The economy crashed while I was on maternity leave. When I went back to work I quickly got merged with another group and I ended up with a bully boss. I have a challenging infant who didn't sleep. I was under a lot of stress. After two years of stress, a battle to try to get me to quit, an investigation and write up of my bully boss, and then at the very end a sporting accident breaking and dislocating my elbow and getting an infection, I was fired. With the infection I had to take antibiotic infusions with a PICC line. It bothered my stomach so much that I had bloody stools at the end. That cleared up after going off the antibiotics. However, ever since my gas has gotten much worse as my anxiety has. I've been through a year and a half of depression which is only now starting to lighten up. I've been freelancing and trying to take jobs at home as I have a difficult commute. However, whenever I take a job in an office, I have a lot of anxiety and IBS issues. These jobs are often high stress. This summer I had the worst IBS-D of my life. I completely went off dairy. I ran in the mornings, all to no avail, until the job ended.

In the last month, after going to a new therapist for the last year, I've uncovered the level of emotional abuse I suffered as a child. I had been in denial about how bad my mother was and have learned that she is a Narcissist and what that means. I always knew my father was a problem. My father's therapist had told me to leave home and not come back. I think his problems lie somewhere in a mix of Borderline Personality Disorder, Depression, and Neurosis.

I am currently at a new job that in some ways is very similar to the job I was fired from. I have not been bullied, but I am very stressed. I was working with some highly successful people and I feel intimidated. I also have tough deadlines and it's a rough work life balance with my bad commute. My gas has been bad. This week I had a really bad day and I think it spread to making a lot of people uncomfortable. I was able to solve my recurring nightmares with Lucid Dreaming/Hypnosis audio, so I tried the same this week for IBS. It was mostly successful for that day, not entirely. The problem is I just don't have much time.

I feel like I need to heal on so many levels right now and the IBS is so embarrassing. I get so ashamed and it becomes a vicious cycle. I really would like relief. I saw a gastroenterologist a few months back and I've now been taking Immodium every morning and a probiotic. However, I think I'm realizing that the gas is because I have alternating IBS. At the same time I am learning that my parents sent me mixed messages and it somehow seems related, as if my body is always switching.

When I menstruate the gas gets much worse. I feel like I am healing on a lot of levels, but the IBS always triggers feelings of being out of control.


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## Dennis N (Feb 5, 2013)

Some of what you might be experiencing could be the side effects of immodium. See: http://www.drugs.com/sfx/imodium-side-effects.html

You may want to try more natural remedies like Colloidal Silver and Apple Cider vinegar, instead.

http://utopiasilver.com/products/silver/ <-for information regarding colloidal silver

Another good place to purchase colloidal silver might be Amazon. Read the review, negative and positive before buying.

http://www.puritan.com/apple-cider-vinegar-567/apple-cider-vinegar-300-mg-002941 <-apple cider vinegar tablets

Avoid canned drinks and sodas, especially those with corn syrup. For me, I found canned coffee to be one of the worst culprits for bloating.

Miso products, like Miso soup (fermented soy bean paste soup) may be the best natural pro-biotic and are available on eBay.com and Amazon.com. You can probably find it in the Asian food sections of most larger grocery stores, as well.

Good luck!


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