# ibs and sex...embarrassing but it needs to be asked



## eveningshowers

hey...this is kind of awkward but someone's gotta say it! i'm 16 and i've never had sex before, but i always wonder, for the future...does ibs affect sex? for those of you who know, please tell me! i'm so worried about embarrassing situations when i finally do :sthanks


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## Guest

Well, other than not feeling like having sex when my stomach is acting up, I haven't really had any problems. Maybe having to hold in gas now and then...and that IS a challenge.But I think it makes it a lot easier having a long term partner that you really care for and trust. I am 24 now and didn't start having sex until I was about 22, which is a bit later than most I suppose. I guess I was a bit of a late bloomer in a way, but I really feel like I was just holding out for the right person. And it was well worth it.Are you thinking about having sex, or is this really for the future/ hypothetical? If you are considering it even in a while, make sure you get started on birth control, asap, because it takes a little while to kick in. And be safe!If you have any other questions, feel free to ask!midge.


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## BLUENECK

I hope I can help with this one . I was diagnosed when I was 12 it has slowly gotten worse .I have never had a real issue with having problems during sex .It has never really bothered me in that type of situation . The best advice I can give you is tell your partner about it and hope they can understand that it just something about you that they have to come to terms with and that it effects you more than an accident would ever effect them .I have been lucky the women I have met , have been more than understanding. I just started a new relationship and shes great .She knew the first day we met about the IBS issue .Just be honest with them in the future. But dont be in such a rush . Theres time for sex .Maybe by the time your ready , you will have it more under control and it wont present such a problem for you. But dont worry so much for most of us is hasnt presented a huge issue.


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## decemberm00n

Hi. I worried the same thing before I became sexually involved. But I can say it has never affected my sex life. If anything it makes me feel better. When aroused the adrenaline starts flowing and I feel great. My fiance knows about my condition and we're very comfortable talking about pretty much anything. If I wasn't so comfortable around him I think I would have problems.


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## kateandtink

yeah i was worried too but i never had any problems, just relax take things slow, theres never any rush!


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## trashymagazine

My boyfriend completley understands but I don't have a problem except my normaly high sex drive goes down the pan (litterally) when I get those obscene stomach cramps.


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## evesedusn

my symptoms happen mostly from anxiety rather than beinga reaction to food and stuff. so being with a guy i like of course makes me anxious. when i first meet a guy my stomach goes nuts, but the guy im dating now, who ive been dating for a year, doesnt have that effect on me. hes one of the only people who i dont feel sick around. ive explained to him what is going on with me, and hes totally sympathetic which is great. as for how to get past the initial stage when you are still anxious all i have to say is- loud music! that way if my stomach is making weird noises or something you cant really tell. it really helps me calm down period.


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## Serenity84

just relax, dont be nervous and explain 2 the guy/girl that ur dating that u have 2 be careful wot eat. it hasnt me and my boyfriend and been with 5 mnths, in fact he woz one who told me 2 go drs bout my sore tummy in the 1st place and i told him straight away wot woz wrong and it dont bother me


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## gypsygal79

hey there,Im new to all this too. I suffer from IBS with constipation and bloating my main symptoms. I also get insommnia, anxiety and blocked sinus's..does anyone else get that? ( meaning the sinus stuff?)Sex isnt usually a prob for me as I have a supportive boyfriend also and I would agree that physical activity and hormones def help and relax the gut! only time there is a prob is when my stomach is bloated like a baloon with horrible cramps..


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## 21736

unless im really bad, sex helps, just like exercise im totally not thinking about it and just doing the job







. crude i know, but still...but dont be embarrassed, this issomething youll become comforatbel with in time....


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## 22931

HI!! I have IBS, anxiety and YES I sometimes have blocked sinuses...I even saw a specialist about it, of course the moment I walked into the office my sinuses were clear for the first time in months!! It isn't constant but can be anoying!


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## kateandtink

hehe i agree with mikey i think sex helps even when i bad we still have sex just more "treading on eggshells sex" but tehn i have a high sex drive so few things actually stop it and if bothers you you can always find less painful positions than missionary...







and its relaxing afterwards


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## phillipm2

Havent had much problemos on this end. Most people with IBS would think that having sex would be embarassing cause of what could happen. I find that the blood flow no longer "concentrates" on the colon or abdomen and the hormones that get released from the brain must somehow cause a hinderance of the overactive colon. I havent had problems probably because im a guy. Then again i havent had any action in a long time


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## 23682

I've never had a problem with it. Gas is the only thing that is hard to hold in when you're in that situation thank god I've only had to hold it once. I watch what I'm gonna eat beforehand-If I know there will be some action I dont eat gassy foods.


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## thegirlleastlikely

there's nothing embarassing about that question. it can kill your sex drive. but, if i'm in the mood, generally i'll take an imodium and i'm fine. my boyfriend knows what's wrong with me and kows the signs that i don't want to or need to stop. honestly, it helps sometimes to have sex as it relaxs you. this is just a question i hope.


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## 20895

For girls it might be different, but for me for example(and probably for most of guys) ibs only reminds about itself when u expect having sex and constantly worry about how your stomach will behave, but when it comes to the actual action then it seems you don't have any IBS at all, maybe it is because your concentration totally switches to other things LOL.


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## 21880

Back when I was with my bf, I wouldn't do anything if I was having a 'd' day. I would always wish and wish for 'c.' LOL!!! Like people have said, just make sure you love and trust your partner to understand. If they can't or anything, then you shouldn't probably be being that intimate with them anyways.


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## 21973

at first, i was skeptical about having sex with ibs and all..i was afraid that some s*it might come out, or a little fart might interrupt..but yiou know, when im in the mood, my ibs goes away. funny, huh


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## 18797

maybe the solution to IBS is too remain aroused 24/7. everyone seems to switch off when they are doing the deed. that'd be the life!


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## 19863

Hasn't stopped me yet! ...except for bad days, of course


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## 22144

Sex has been known to make me feel better.Sometimes worse. Who knows.


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## 19256

im almost 18 and i had sex when i was 16 i got ibs when i was about 14 and when i did have sex it really didnt bother me at all except if you move alot you might have to pass gas and its kind of hard to hold in.. also if you do diffrent positions some could hurt your stomach but not like severe.. dont rush belive me get on birth control it works really good.. dont be embarssed everyone goes threw it once in a life time.. good luck and dont rush..


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## 21545

Ok I am new to this website, but figured I'd say this anyway:I am 22 and have never had any major GI problems until 6 months ago when i got a bad stomach flu. After that, my stool has been mostly normal except for sometimes that oily residue and passing mucus, either by itself or with stool. It doesn't smell the same it used to. I am gay, and can top easily enough, but I can't bottom anymore because I am afraid the other person will smell something abnormal or will get turned off. I know some of you might think this is gross to even talk about, but get over it, it's just sex, and it's a reality! Any other gays out there that have this problem?I feel like I'm missing out on half the fun with sex!-EJ


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## 14013

hi, actually when i have sex and if my tummys a bit uncomfy it makes it go away for a while. ive not had any problems during sex but the day after my tum feels a bit sore, i dont know if thats related though, i sometimes get groin pains too but again it may not be related


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## 22901

This may be a psychological thing, but if I have sex more than 3 times a day, I'll get sick the next day, like majorly. It's really wierd.


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## 21810

ejh, I guess "bottoming" must refer to anal sex..? (sorry, I'm not up to date on gay slang!) In relation to your question, I don't think you should be worried about your partner's reaction. I'm not exactly "experienced" in anal sex, but every person is different in that department. I doubt anybody is going to be "grossed out" by that sort of thing. If it bothers you, you can buy a douche for use before anal sex.Regarding sex in general, the human body (as we all know) is a very complex and well-engineered thing. As far as the human body is concerned, sex is the number one purpose for existance, and every part of the human body is geared towards making it happen properly.When you're aroused, chemicals are released into your blood that make you feel good, and ease any anxieties that might contribute to IBS. Your brain goes into "reproduction mode" and reduces the priority of your digestive system. Your heart rate increases, you burn more carbs, you feel good and, when it's over, you relax.FWIW, before I had lost my virginity, I was afraid of having sex and was afraid that my IBS would get in the way. I was so afraid that I couldn't actually do anything; in truth, there was nothing to be afraid of. Sex is the best cure for anxiety and IBS that I have found


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## 23119

,,im gay and omg i feel the same way ejh,, ibs is such a mood killer ,,im vers but i "used" to love to bottom ,, even being a bottom without ibs ,, even str8 women,, u always worry when u have anal sex,,, and everyone is bound to have an accident,,but u learn to douche,, but having ibs its so unpredictable,,,, even u dont have the runs you feel like a bloated blow fish ,,its terrible,, its def put a strainon my relationship,,,, my bf is also vers and i fel inadequate as a gay man,, please write me your experiences


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## 21418

For the most part, sex is completely fine with my ibs. The only thing is when I have a bloated tummy, I wear a tee-shirt or lingerie to cover up and it actually adds to the whole experience. I am extremely relaxed afterwards as well. My current bf and I have very high sex drive and are very compatible. I have not been like this with anyone else. He makes me feel attractive and sexy. I had sex for the first time when I was 17 and although I have no regrets about it or whom it was with, I know I wasn't ready for it and all that it brought along with having sex. If I could go back in time, I would have waited till I was more mature and knew myself more on a deeper level.


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## 13430

I think it is better when you have a really wonderful partner. I am engaged to a wonderful man now but before I was with him I had been with other people. I didn't have IBS at the time but even without the IBS the sex was... OK. Good, yeah, but when you are with someone you love it is GREAT. And you can be more creative.







I am not saying this to get you to hold off on having sex since you will hear that everywhere else. Just make sure that when you are ready you are with someone you feel REALLY comfortable with and even your IBS shouldn't hold you back!


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## 21787

Sex is the only thing that can completely take my mind off my IBS! Although it kills the sex drive sometimes if you're having an attack...it doesn't mean you can do it altogether! My boyfriend is very understanding thankfully and everything is ok between us as he knows what i'm going through!


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## 22157

Hey! I have been in a long term relationship with the same guy, and he's the only one I've ever been intimate with. When we first got together, if I had to go to the bathroom during it would be so embarassing for me, but I would just tell him I had to pee, and go do my business. Now I can be completely open with him, just last night we were getting into it and about to have sex, and wham! I got the most extreme pains in my stomach and knew that I was going to have to go, so I was just honest and told him to hold off for a second. I know it sounds weird, but I just tell him to go look at porn until I get back so he can stay in the mood, lol! Honestly, If you cant be open with someone and they cant understand something that you have no control over, then maybe they arent worth your time.


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## Guest

I'm new here too, hello. Like most of the responses on here, i've never had a problem before/during sex - i think its general consensus that you get bodily distracted or something! hehe. Altho I do get bloating and gas afterwards, and quite bad cramps. My past boyf felt like it was his fault i was in so much pain, which kinda put a dampener on the next time you go to get some. :/ Maybe that was just him though.


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## huxley

well, i'm a guy first of all. I do recall one time i had to stop right in the middle and go...hah that was embarrassing but i just said i had to brush my teeth (and was sure that id id to cover it up). A bit weird but she didnt seem to mind in the fits of passion...then there was another time but thats because i was so drunk i had to stop and throw up a few times haha. Anyway, it was never usually a problem.


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## 21306

I have had the unfortunate experience of having my IBS flare up at a rather intimate moment between myself and someone who I didn't know that well. Although she understood, I still found it embarassing. I never heard from her again, but it taught me a valuable lesson.... abstinence is best! When that is not an option, make sure that you have been watching your diet throughout the day. Alcohol doesn't help much either, although I have found that clear liquor isn't as bad for my IBS as brown liquor. Just an opinion, not a medical fact... God Bless!


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## 15387

here is some advice: if u have serious IBS, do not have anal sex, it will bring it on straight after sex, it aint nice


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## 14448

I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years and I'm still too embarassed to tell him i have ibs. We live close to each other but I get anxious staying at his house as everyone can hear u in the bathroom. If I get d I go home (I say I've got a headache),if I get c I worry all night that it might trigger cramps. Also I don't risk sex if my stomach feels dodgy in case it brings on an attack. Ibs is really, really frustrating and restricting!!!


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## 22659

yea, i don't know if this thread is still active or not...but anyway, me and one of my really close guy friends have been talking about having sex for awhile. he's the only person i'd trust to take my virginity, but i'm not sure if i should tell him about this. i mean, how do you want the person to react? "okay,,,so you go to the bathroom alot?" I don't know, and i hate restrooms....dang non-fan b-rooms.


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## 23159

HI IM NEW TO THIS ALSO







HOWEVER IVE FOUND THAT IT MAKES SEX ABOUT UNCOMFORTABLE ITS A KIND OV PRODDING FEELING NOT PAINFUL THO AND TO BE HONEST DOESNT REALLY PUT ME OFF







HOWEVER I CAN SEE HOW IBS CUD AFFECT A GIRLS SEX LIFE


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## Nikki

PLEASE LAY OFF THE CAPS AS IT MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE YOU ARE SHOUTING AND IT IS HARD TO READ.This way is much easier.Please try and keep threads on topic!Nikki xx


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## 14646

My main problem with sex and IBS is gas. Holding in gas during sex is pretty hard. I think part of the problem is being afraid that I'll have gas and might slip during sex. Once I start thinking about it, I actually start to feel like I'm getting gas, even if I didn't have it to begin with.


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## 14849

> quote:Originally posted by eveningshowers:hey...this is kind of awkward but someone's gotta say it! i'm 16 and i've never had sex before, but i always wonder, for the future...does ibs affect sex? for those of you who know, please tell me! i'm so worried about embarrassing situations when i finally do :s
> 
> thanks


Well, welcome to the wonderful world of IBS and sex. Anyway, first off, I don't know your situation with your IBS and how bad of an effect it has on your life, but if you're worried about pooping in the sack, it probably ain't gonna happen.Look, FWIW, pooping is going to be the last thing on your mind once you're getting your groove on. If not, make a run to the pot BEFORE you get involved in the pre-game show.If you have that, "Well, I _might_ have to go" feeling, then just hold off on the nookie until you feel well enough to perform.And another thing....it always helps to have a partner that is understanding and accepting that you have a condition. Not to scare you, but there isn't a real large market for guys that are always pooping. It's very hard to find someone that will be understanding and have the patience with your situation.I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm not telling you to marry the first girl you have sex with, but it wouldn't be a bad thing if the chemistry is there and you go on to actually marry your first love. More times than not, your first is not going to be the person you marry. Don't get the wrong impression here, as what I'm about to say could be taken way out of context, but if you're worried about finding the "right person," you ain't ever gonna get around to it because you'll always be questioning yourself. Just use your best judgement and don't sleep with a "loosey goosey," and don't forget your jimmy-hat.


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## 23210

Im a girl and my sex life is really badly affected. I have been with my bf for more than 4 years and he still does not know. I am too ashamed to tell him. We very rarely have sex or do anything really. My ibs alternates from C to D and usually i have both at the same time. When i get C it can be so severe, that if i place my fingers inside me, i can feel the faeces backed up inside me. I dont do anything with my bf at the time because this could last for weeks and i dont want him to feel that. It is also very painful for me. I also feel dirty all the time. No matter how much i bath and shower, i always feel unclean so do not want him to see or touch me down there.


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## 14849

> quote:Originally posted by JD1986:Im a girl and my sex life is really badly affected. I have been with my bf for more than 4 years and he still does not know. I am too ashamed to tell him. We very rarely have sex or do anything really. My ibs alternates from C to D and usually i have both at the same time. When i get C it can be so severe, that if i place my fingers inside me, i can feel the faeces backed up inside me. I dont do anything with my bf at the time because this could last for weeks and i dont want him to feel that. It is also very painful for me. I also feel dirty all the time. No matter how much i bath and shower, i always feel unclean so do not want him to see or touch me down there.


Unless you are participating in anal sex, I really don't think your boyfriend is going to feel "backed up feces." Obviously most people participate in vaginal sex, and if he can "feel backed up feces," I wish I were as "blessed" as your boyfriend must be in the nether regions.







Why is it that you feel dirty all the time? Everybody eats, so everybody poops. That's just a fact of life. We just poop more than everybody else. It doesn't make us dirty or unclean.Things don't always work out when nookie-time rears its head. There have been a number of times when the wife and I have been all ready to get down and dirty and all of a sudden, there's a rumbling in the basement. No, it's not sexy, and no, it's not a turn-on, but that's just the way it is and we've both come to accept it. It can be very frustrating having to restart from "Square One" all over again, but we've just come to accept it.Not including your pain, you have two choices. You can either make the best of your sex life, or you can deprive yourself of it.


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## 15626

I'm new to this website. Am a 20 year old girl and have had ibs for over a year. When I first started having sex with my current boyfriend, my ibs had just started. At the time, I had wind and bloating all day every day and constantly needed to go to the toilet. However, when we had sex, my stomach always seemed to be quite normal for once. I thought it was a lucky coincidence at the time, but now I see that's the case for a lot of people. Now that I've been diagnosed with ibs, I've told my boyfriend who has been very understanding. He's always there for me and is the only person I actually discuss it with. Being with a person you know cares about you and understands your problem means that sex is never a problem. And you know that they won't sulk if you have a bad day and can't have sex. If my stomach isn't well, my boyfriend just rubs my belly and hugs me to make me feel better. I think this can actually be as good as sex, because you know that someone loves you and cares about you, despite your problem. So JD1986, you should tell your boyfriend about your ibs. You will probably be surprised at how supportive he will be. I know I almost died of shame when I told my boyfriend, but it turned out that he had already known but didn't mention it because he knew I wasn't ready to talk about it. It brought us even closer, so you should give your boyfriend the chance to prove himself to you. You deserve it!!


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## 21307

I'm 18 and just a few weeks ago had sex for the first time with my boyfriend. I was SO scared something was going to happen, but it didn't. Everything was fine.I made sure I didn't eat anything that would bother my stomach beforehand and I meditated for a little while before so I wouldnt be nervous.


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## god_i_hate_ibs

i was diagnosed 4 years ago with ibs-d and i've been fighting it ever since. i make myself go to places like china with no toilets just to prove i can, yet when it comes to sex i run away.... i used to have a very high sex drive and pretty much couldnt get enough - i loved it! since ibs day i cant seem to go near a guy. its uncomfortable in all positions and i'm ashamed to admit i'm scared of sh**ting myself so what do i do? i've just met someone i really like and i'm afraid to have sex because how do you say "do you mind if we stop in case i cant make it to the loo?".its the only area of my life i have let this "syndrome" affect and i dont know how to get it back..any advice would be wonderful!


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## WARRAVEN

Other than my bad days(some of which I can still pull off a bit) I do fine. I find it actually distracts from the IBS a lot, I don't think about it, though once or twice I've gotten cramps. Worrying about it like you are would kill me. Sex isn't some monolithic gigantic force. It's sex, its $$$$$$ing awesome(literally). Yea, the first time is scary, yea, it can basically be the only reason we exist, but once you get past the social equities and the ###### surrounding it, getting down and dirty is something that should never be feared. I have had IBS take me out of the game for a while(my gf understands, even though she is particularly addicted), but it's not that bad. Though I agree with the whole gas thing, you just gotta know better. And the first time is a little OUCH, but that was ever so obvious because my girlfriend found out she was allergic to the condoms. Even if the first time kind of blows, it only gets better no matter how good it is the first time.Don't be a fool, wrap your tool. Raven


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## Patient

Been a long time since someone has posted in this thread, however, I felt the need to chip in once I came across it. Coming from someone who thinks, like Raven said it, sex is $$$$$$ing awesome; I've never really had IBS interfere with my intimacy. There's been a couple times when I've had to run in the middle of it, but I play it off I guess because I'm Patient, and Patient can do those things. (Har har.







) In any case, if I'm in the middle of a heated game of sheet wars and I feel the urge to use the bathroom, pass gas, or whatever; I usually get up and tell my boyfriend to take care of himself for a few minutes, wink at him, and strut out the door like a damned porn star. He thinks I'm going to get something fun, but really, once I step out of his sights I bolt for the bathroom and take care of business as quick as I can. After I've finished, I'll return like nothing is wrong, and I'll have picked up an ice cube or something. Sometimes he knows what I'm really doing, but at least it keeps his mind off it to prevent the mood from being completely killed!







Thankfully, he's completely understanding, so he respects when my drive is completely shot; though it's not often. Overall, sex really helps me to relax more, and it sure as hell gets my mind off IBS during it!


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## Haunted

This thread will be useful for me in the future


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## Patient

Haunted said:


> This thread will be useful for me in the future


Definitely book-mark worthy material here.


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## Dresden

Wish I could chime in with all the others who've had no problems with their IBS and sex. Ever since the onset of mine I've had some pretty serious difficulties in the bedroom. The worse the gas bloating (IBS) is acting up, the less likely I am to be able to perform (I'm a guy, so that's kind of a show stopper). The doctors say it's because the nerves that connect the penis also run through the gut.It's embarrassing and discouraging for both of us, but thankfully my wife is one incredible woman and handles the situation with class.I would give almost anything to be healthy again. Exercise and fiber help a lot, but the ups and downs can be really hard sometimes


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## misty`eyes

Hey, I would have to say the worst part is not wanting to have sex when you don't feel good. You know, some days are sweat pants days and you just don't feel like it. But, other than that, I have had no problems. I think that as long as your partner is aware of your condition and knows that it is your body and if you don't feel like it, you don't feel like it. Remeber to be safe, and take care of your self. Also, give yourself a little time to understand what your body goes through during sex, especially with a condition like IBS. Peace and Love, Misty


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## Haunted

A lot of people say that we need to forgive our body and accept it's limits, but that is kind of hard to do when our own body screws up when it comes to doing what every animal was born to do I'm already worried


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## Eeva

OK I have to add this, since it seems as if no one has even considered it yet. Sex for me is fine, with the very rare occasion of a bit of gas, BUT... semen is BAD, very BAD. When I first started having a sexual relationship with my boyfriend, I would give him oral sex, and swallow.And the next morning I would always have TERRIBLE cramps and D. It was awful. And then I had the job of trying to explain that it wasn't that I didn't like giving oral, it was just that it made me sick. My boyfriend has since become understanding, and we kind of laugh about it. But be careful if any of you do this, it was terrible for me. And it was actually how I first discovered IBS.


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## 13594

Its one of the few parts of my life where I can get so immersed that I forget about the IBS etc. Whether its the endorphin rush or something more; my IBS just ceases to exist during sex.I'm bi myself and despite what most people would think, I really enjoy receiving anal sex. Providing theres plenty of lube its great. Its the initial penetration where It can really hurt due to previous flare ups that week for example. I got this stuff called anal-eze which has benzocaine in it. Numbs up the pain without affecting the pleasure.I don't know if its true that they say bi's are they way they are due to an overactive sex drive; but its certainly true for me.I did have a relationship with a girl who has IBS as well once. I used to find the best way to help with her stomach cramps was for her to lie back and relax whilst I performed cunnlingus.She loved it and told me it helped tremendously with the cramps; I don't know if she was just saying that but we were always honest about everything else so...Any other ladies on here find receiving cunnlingus help with the IBS/Cramps then?mr_colt.


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## Dandaman

i've never really thought of IBS affecting sex before. I am a virgin but i've done everything else with girls


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## Haunted

mr_colt said:


> I don't know if its true that they say bi's are they way they are due to an overactive sex drive; but its certainly true for me.


Personally, I don't believe that's the case. Straight people and gay people can have overactive sex drives as well, but because they're only attracted to one gender their entire libido is devoted to sexual thoughts about that gender and the wanting to have sex with that gender. Anyone can have an overactive sex drive, the only thing is that some people have sexual desires for the opposite sex, while some people have sexual desires for the same sex and some people have sexual desires for both sexes. You may have an overactive sex drive, but that doesn't mean it's your overactive sex drive that makes you bisexual.What I'm saying is that I don't think sexuality is determined by the level of someone's libido. It doesn't make sense to me why this would be the case. Quite a lot of research is being done into what determines a person's sexuality, and as supported by the research I believe it is determined by a number of different factors (biological, environmental etc) that affect an individual's developement.Now I'm just raving on so I'll stop.


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## 13594

Fair point, but I do seem to see a trend that in studies conducted: Bisexuals are more un-inhibited sexually than their peers. Personally I think there is some truth in that, I've done things that my straight firends wouldnt do regardless of the gender of their partner.


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## Haunted

mr_colt said:


> more un-inhibited sexually than their peers.


I believe this applies to me, even if I haven't actually demonstrated it yet


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## melissarene

I haven't had too many problems. Of course, on those bad days, I want to completely avoid it.


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## IBSCinGeorgia

Lihairguy said:


> ,,im gay and omg i feel the same way ejh,, ibs is such a mood killer ,,im vers but i "used" to love to bottom ,, even being a bottom without ibs ,, even str8 women,, u always worry when u have anal sex,,, and everyone is bound to have an accident,,but u learn to douche,, but having ibs its so unpredictable,,,, even u dont have the runs you feel like a bloated blow fish ,,its terrible,, its def put a strainon my relationship,,,, my bf is also vers and i fel inadequate as a gay man,, please write me your experiences


I'm a gay man too and suffer with IBS-C. While I feel that this forum and site isn't the place for graphic descriptions of my experiences as a gay man with IBS-C I will say that there have been times when my IBS-C has created some arousing situations involving douching and enemas and sex afterwards.Depending on the severity of individual episodes of constipation, there have been times when I have had to tell my partners to remove their penis from my anus after a few minutes of f___ingso that I could go to the bathroom. Have you ever had any experiences like this? I had a former partner I was with for about a year, and he also had IBS-C. It helps to have a partner who understands. we may have been weird, but there were times when we would schedule our enemas for relief from our constipation immediately before sexI may be being too bold here, but has there ever been times when inserting an enema or suppository has aroused you?


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## Exploder

Most of the time it doesn't stop me and my g/f we still do it even around mild times severe times we don't. And its probably worse for us guys, because I think most of the time we're on top, well I am, and I like it that way because I want to express my love, but lets face it when your up there your stomach muscles are moving all around and can cause discomfort but...for me sometimes the sex takes my mind off of it and it doesn't bother me as much. I kinda doubt my statement helped but figured that I'd input too. I don't know which version of IBS you have if its D or C. but if its D then try to go to the bathroom all you can before the sex, and try some Imodium A-D.And like others say, be safe don't be sorry! Your better to wait for the special someone to come along, do alternatives for awhile.







Good Luck With It.


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## gsxr60097

I don't want to scare you or anything but I am 30yrs old and IBS has prevented me from having sex at all. Yes, its that bad. Don't want to talk about it anymore its too embarrassing. I'm a hot guy too by the way. Simply pathetic.


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## 1Rosa

Have you been tested for fructose malabsorption? It is like lactose intolerance, only with fructose (we aren't supposed to call it fructose intolerance, though, because there is a hereditary disease that already claimed that name but with totally different symptoms). Anyway, I have IBS/Fructose Malabsorption which means that my stomach never feels great, but it feels 110% better if I don't eat fructose which is in fruit, red vegetables, sugar, syrups, most cereals and breads and crackers (because of the high fructose corn syrup) and, as it turns out, it is in semen as well. So maybe you should try reducing fructose in your diet. I find that if I am not eating any fructose at all the occasional indulgence (say, chocolate or oral sex) will not really bother me. It is worth checking out. If you think you have it, your doctor can give you a simple breath test (you drink some fructose syrup, which tastes good, and breathe into a tube).


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## Rich C

Unfortunately in my case it appears that a chronic prostate/urological problem has resulted in my bowel problems/abdominal pain so even the act masturbation proves to be something of a misery (the muscles/nerves become irritated and then impact the bowels - or at least that's one theory). This has meant I've never been in a relationship and to be honest despite making some improvements I'm not sure whether I'll ever get into one. I guess it is possible, people on here obviously are in/have had relationships, but I haven't built up the courage myself to get close with someone I haven't known for long and try to explain to them why I'm unable to have regular sex or why even simple things like having a date could prove something of a chore. Currently undergoing physio work in the hope that it will help the abdominal/pelvic muscles and this in turn will help the bowels but there's no certainty that this will have only a minor impact on things.RegardsRich


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## Ashers86

Lauz said:


> My boyfriend completley understands but I don't have a problem except my normaly high sex drive goes down the pan (litterally) when I get those obscene stomach cramps.


I quoted you on this because that's how it is for me too. My boyfriend understands that I'll refuse even if my tummys just a little bit wonky because the movement will tend to make me feel sick. I love it however, and sometimes would go on top and do my thing... but lately there has been no desire; even a few days after an episode when I've got minor pains. But honestly, I think it would take your mind off of IBS more than anything. I wouldn't worry.


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## Nik555

Mika275 said:


> For girls it might be different, but for me for example(and probably for most of guys) ibs only reminds about itself when u expect having sex and constantly worry about how your stomach will behave, but when it comes to the actual action then it seems you don't have any IBS at all, maybe it is because your concentration totally switches to other things LOL.


100% agree with you.


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## Brian0003

"eveningshowers said:


> hey...this is kind of awkward but someone's gotta say it! i'm 16 and i've never had sex before, but i always wonder, for the future...does ibs affect sex? for those of you who know, please tell me! i'm so worried about embarrassing situations when i finally do :sthanks


No reason to be worrying about sex so young.I am 20, male, and I think it is way too early for me to be having sex with someone else.For one: I have other priorities(Schoolwork, Job, Career) that take up a lot of time and commitment.Two: I don't think any sort of attraction I would feel right now would be true love. It would just be going after a girl most likely only because I like the way she looks and I would say that very few teenagers understand what true love is. Even though the sex statistics are very high.This isn't for religious reasons because I am atheist.But hey, this is just my opinion so you certainly do not have to agree







. Best of luck in whatever you decide to do.Brian


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## Nik555

Brian0003 said:


> No reason to be worrying about sex so young.I am 20, male, and I think it is way too early for me to be having sex with someone else.For one: I have other priorities(Schoolwork, Job, Career) that take up a lot of time and commitment.Two: I don't think any sort of attraction I would feel right now would be true love. It would just be going after a girl most likely only because I like the way she looks and I would say that very few teenagers understand what true love is. Even though the sex statistics are very high.This isn't for religious reasons because I am atheist.But hey, this is just my opinion so you certainly do not have to agree
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> . Best of luck in whatever you decide to do.Brian


20 y old and you think it is early? wow.....


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## J.S

i am so glad that someone brought this up because i have always wanted to ask others about it, but was too shy and sensitive. i have had some bad experiences though where my ex-bf said he was fine with it but later on it bothered him and eventually became too much. has this happened to anyone else?


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## SJ1985

I'm a male and IBS doesn't seem to affect sex except for maybe the occasional time when my IBS will hurt afterwards from the motion...


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## Ashers86

It's hard... I'll be completely honest and say that IBS has definitely caused a decrease in desire and drive. Sometimes I'll go for it when I want to, but if I'm not feeling 100%, I won't feel too good. I'll even admit there's times I had to stop because it caused discomfort. I wish it didn't have to interfere like that, but luckily my partner does understand and I'm sure he realizes it has nothing to do with him!RE: 20 years old being too young. I don't think it's THAT young, but I guess everyone has their own reasons.Not saying "OMG! How is that possible?!" because I know there are standards for everyone, even if they think there isn't... but I do need to be briefly honest and say I don't think I know of anyone who at 20 (and I'm 22) has just decided not to do it But, nothing against your decisions! I'm glad you at least use your brain!


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## IdontmindIBS

you do know that gas contains partly hormonal chemical scent which acts as a suggestive over time, what im trying say is if your worried about farting while having sex theres no need to be cause even if you do overtime instead of putting of your partner it will become a chemical attractent dont forget we are part animal and scents are very involved in animal kingdom and sounds.


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## crapthissucks

If my IBS is acting up, then I definitely turn down sex. For one, I'm just not in the mood, for another thing, it would probably not be plesant down there =XI have a few times farted during sex, but my bf is pretty understanding, and we either ignore it or get a laugh from it later.


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## pinaple83

Okay I'm sorry to bring this topic back, and this is super embarrassing, but I know if you have IBS there are a lot of foods you can't eat because it will make you possibly have an attack.. so if you accidentally (or not) get sex juices from a girl in your mouth, will it cause you to have a stomach attack afterwords??







please help


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## Ckpsyc

Hello all,I happened across this topic and thought I'd give my two sense to it. I am a gay man that lives in New York. I have recently (within the last 6 months) been diagnosed with IBS-D. Before this I was fine. I ate whatever I wanted to eat and did whatever I wanted to do. One time last August I happened to get really sick at work. Sick enough that I asked to go home within an hour of getting there because it was so bad. A few days later I went out drinking with a friend and got so drunk I barely remember the night. From this point on, I do not know if it was the excessive drinking or being sick, but I was constantly feeling an urge to run to a rest room. Sometimes nothing would happen (probably because I never use public restrooms) and others I would feel that "Just in the nick of time" feeling. This made everything harder for me to do. I finally left work because I could not go one day without having this horrible feeling. I began to slowly withdraw from my social interactions as well because when I was home things just seemed better. I guess this turned from a medical situation into a psychological one. I spent the next several months going to various doctors. Some said I had gastroparesis which was a very slow process of emptying the stomach. Since then I've have a endoscopy and colonoscopy. Both revealed nothing abnormal so I was given the IBS diagnosis with no hope for a cure soon. Personally I have had many bad days and some good days. Little by little I am able to venture out if I watch what I eat because now I notice what will cause reactions.As for the sex topic, I have always considered myself a bottom (I like to receive anal sex). It was just the way I was always most comfortable I guess. However, after years of this and then this IBS problem I saw myself pull back. I guess I am more scared that something may happen during or that perhaps the other person might get grossed out. I think that the main problem here is a psychological issue that we worry about what _might_ happen over what does happen. I have since stopped having sex; a personal decision based on other aspects as well, but mainly because of worrying about a flare up. Does anyone else feel the same way?Also, I have noticed that my symptoms or flares begin to happen when I notice an excess amount of gas built up in my system. Once that happens I know to stay close to home because that only means a flare up is beginning. Anyone have any advice on this at all?Sorry this was such a long post, but I thought I would give some background information with the current discussion topic. Any advice or opinions are most welcome.


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## mirp

I don't think you should worry too much about it! The best thing to do is be upfront about it with your partner. I was really embarrassed at the beginning and used to pretend like I felt nauseated when I actually just needed to take a giant dump. Now that I've been with him for a year and a half I definitely do not regret telling him. You need your partner as a support network to make excuses for you when you have to rush off with friends or to help you find a toilet when you're in a lot of pain and in desperate need of one! Now he high fives me after I poo and plays along when I do my constipation dance (I call it the C- wiggle!) Sex wise we are ok I guess??? I don't really know what is normal. There are times that I just stop because i'm in pain or my stomach suddenly feels weird. No shame in that!

IBS feels really isolating because it's embarrassing! Most of my close friends know but I'm TERRIFIED when I have to meet people I'm not close to because I'm scared I'll be running to the toilet or in a ridiculous amount of pain while out. I also have anxiety so this impacts my life quite a bit but definitely if my partner did not know my anxiety would be much much worse because I'd have to hide it from the person I spend the most time with.


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## Kawzy

So for the most part it looks like most people don't have problems with ibs and sex, which I'm glad for, but I figured I'd better share how it can go bad. I have had ibs for as long as I can remember, but it's only gotten bad in the past six months. Only in the last three months though has it effected my sex life. I'm a newly wed so it wasn't difficult to notice when things weren't ok, and when something was off. The biggest thing that I noticed is when I'm backed up that if there's enough pressure I can only be in the supine position and not be in pain. Mind you that's not being in pain so there's no enjoyment actually happening at that point. Now that I'm more regular though it has helped, but if it starts to be backed up I feel it and my husband can feel it if it is bad enough.


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## carlsw

talk to your partner - I did so and sex is supposed to be something great, not something that should be connected to anxiety...

think like this, if your partner suffered from IBS - wouldn't you want to know and get the opportunity to support and act understanding make life smoother?!

good luck!


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## IvyWinter

I have never had IBS stop sex unless i was having a very bad stomach ache from it (sometimes they are crippling). Uusually, even when i've had D throughout the day, as long as ive been OK in the past hour or so before sex, i'm totally fine. Never had an accident or anything. The way I see it, if i do start to not feel well, we'll stop. Then again, my boyfriend does know I have IBS, so there's less stress of hiding not feeling well.

I think the first step for many of you who haven't said anything is to sit down and talk. It's going to take SO much pressure off if they just know. Also, not saying anything but avoiding sex is going to start sounding like made up excuses, even though they aren't, clearly. So being honest that there IS a real issue is going to make them feel a bit better. A lot of you seem to have dated people for a while and still haven't said anything... i think your sig others aren't likely to throw years of a relationship away over IBS!


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