# I have anxiety related IBS, and I am ready for a better life



## toughtom (Jun 2, 2015)

First of all, I just wanted to say how comforting it has been for me to read everyone else's stories on here for the last hour. I had no idea how many people struggled with the same weird and embarrassing bathroom habits as myself, and it feels good to know that I can talk about my problems with people who can relate. I want to give an account of my struggle with anxiety induced IBS, and how I hope I can overcome it enough to make wishful goals into reality. I have never written about my experience before tonight.

I started having urgent and panicky bowel movements during my senior year of high school back in 2001-2002. I first noticed something was wrong when I felt the urge to desperately use the bathroom every time my class went to the track. I felt fine when I was sitting at my desk, but when we had to walk the 200 yards away from the building I would start feeling extremely anxious. The further away I got from the building the more my stomach would growl, and then I would start to feel a hot burning sensation in my lower intestine and bladder. I would run back to the building and have diarrhea, and I would pee like a race horse at the same time. When I finished going to the bathroom I would still feel panicky and that I still had more to expel. I ended up skipping classes when we had P.E. quite often, and I was still able to function normally in my other classes. The problem got worse as the year went on. I started having the same symptoms of a panicking need to defecate and urinate if we had a field trip, school assembly, or any time that I was aware of not having immediate access to a bathroom.

By the end of the school year my anxiety and IBS had reached a new level of terror and misery. I would start off having 3 or 4 loose bowel movements before I drove to school every morning. The last bowel movement was usually the consistency of water and I would often wipe until the toilet paper was bloody. I ended up wadding the last wad of toilet paper into a sort of wedge and then pressing it hard against my anus. I did this in order to prevent leaks, and it gave me peace of mind that the wedge would buy me some time if an accident were on the horizon. This was a painful and anxious beginning to every single day before school. The most frustrating part about my new condition was realizing the link between my brain and my guts. I would feel the fire ants and lava in my guts as I was driving to the school, and then as soon as I would turn for home to use the bathroom one more time, the urgency left me. So I turned back for school and then my stomach would make the "dumb and dumber noises" again. I hit a low point when I ate 4 Immodium AD capsules before my high school graduation, and I still felt too panicky and unconfident to join my class. I had my cap and gown on and I looked at where we would be seated, and I made the cowardly decision that it was too far from the bathroom, and that there were too many people ( many with camcorders ) that would see me if I had an accident. I am lucky that I have an understanding family, or I would have died of shame from not walking to receive my diploma. I had to pick it up at school the next day with my head hung low.

I felt slightly better for a while once I was done with school, after all that had been the main source of my anxiety. But then it just manifested itself in other ways. Instead of school I would develop Anxiety/IBS whenever I had to get in a car with anybody else. I usually could do decent if I was the one driving, my guts were still anxious but I could get it done. If someone else was driving I would be in terror, and I would feel my bowels turning watery just because I was not in control. I started losing all but my very best friends, people were understandably tired of me making excuses to get out of attending social events. I based my whole existence off of avoiding places where I might not have access to a bathroom. My biggest trouble areas today would be airplanes, courtrooms, and social activities at unfamiliar locations. I manage to get thought them with depriving myself of food and water while also drinking Pepto Bismol. I may want a jet engine to fall out of the sky and end all of my pains and worries while doing it, but it feels so great when I accomplish one of those tasks. I am very lucky/blessed to not have had the same amount of struggles as some of the stories on here that I read. I can still hold a job and do most things that a normal person does. However I have recently been longing to do more with my life. I want to get a better job and have a relationship. It may seem like I still have a hard struggle ahead of me but I am planning on applying to the police academy in 6 months. And this is what has caused me to go online and search out people who are in the same, or at least a similar boat as me.

I wanted to say to any young person who might be reading this, that in my case time has made dealing with the problem much easier. I am not cured but I have seen a big chunk of improvement by cutting out bad habits. I think the best thing to cut down on your anxiety induced IBS is to give up nicotine, caffeine, and alcohol. I also think that going to the gym for an hour everyday will really help as well. I thank you all for giving me an outlet to share my story, I have tried to explain this condition to friends before, and they all struggled with the concept. Thanks again, Tom


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## jaumeb (Sep 1, 2014)

Thanks for sharing your story toughtom. There is a lot to learn on this forum. It is time-consuming to find the information, but totally worth it.


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## Kitkie (Jun 27, 2015)

I have been reading a ton of people's stories and feel slightly better that it's not only me with anxiety Ibs and diarrhea. I am 30 years old and married and have two boys who are both on the autism spectrum. I have really bad anxiety when I have to go somewhere even 30 mins from home. I usually go to the bathroom it seems like a million times before I leave the house and then still have to stop along the way as I never seem to be completely empty ever. I also have a very hard time in meetings or anytime I feel trapped like in the car traveling places. Also my boys have sensory processing disorder which there senses are always heightened causing them to get upset very easily if they are away from home. This makes me worry even more traveling places with my family worrying if my boys will freak out then I get bad cramps then diarrhea. I have tried Imodium before going places , eating very lightly few days before traveling but nothing helps my body just keeps getting the urge to go and I can't hold too long need to run to the bathroom. I have tried many different medicines for my anxiety but nothing calms me enough to stop the panic attacks while driving then the diarrhea. My next step is to maybe try doing an enema the day before to try and completely empty out then eat only once I get to my destination. Has anyone else tried this I wonder. Really need to think of something fast as next week we are supposed to travel to Maine for the holiday weekend. Although only 2 hours from home I haven't travelled more than 40 mins away from my home in over a year due to my problem. Anyone have any suggestions or ideas want my family to enjoy the trip. Also it's worse symptoms when traveling with my husband he tries to understand but constantly stopping gets annoying after a while and he usually tells me we should have just stayed home. I really want my life back before all of this which this had been going on for over 6 years sadly


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## jaumeb (Sep 1, 2014)

There is a book about ibs and autism "breaking the vicious cycle".


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## danverhockey (Jul 9, 2015)

Hi,

I just made a topic in the ibs-d forum. You seem like the perfect candidate to try to some yoga. I've been doing free 10-30 minute sessions on youtube (type in 30 days of yoga with adriene). Much like anything it requires patience, but if you stay with it (even on the hard days), I believe you'll greatly benefit from it. Yoga helps reduce all sort of stress in the body and mind and also has helped me cope with my daily anxieties. I too suffer from the anxiety induced ibs. I find myself longing to enjoy planned events like trips to the museum, parks, theaters, concerts, but ultimately end up feeling anxious about them (sometimes I do the same trick of starving myself + pepto). I am getting better about it, but still am not at a desired level.

Good luck everyone!

-Michael


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## sportyk123 (Jun 25, 2015)

i have ibs through anxiety, when i go out the house i have to go to the loo several times.


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## MacPoopsALOT (Jul 18, 2015)

Tom, reading your description is as if I had written it myself. Anyone that knows me knows if we're driving somewhere I am taking my vehicle and I am driving. Some of my friends and family know of my problem and don't question it, others think I'm a control freak and I HAVE to be the one to drive, or I'll make things difficult and take my vehicle, driving alone if I have to. I get really stressed/sick when doing anything out of the normal, a trip out of town, going to a restaurant I've never been to, or having to be somewhere at a specific time (never works out).

One thing I've started about a month ago was an anti-anxiety medication that the doctor prescribed to me. It helped a lot. I never thought of taking this kind of medication but anxiety is the problem so why not give it a try. Between the stomach medications from my GI doctor and the anxiety meds I get from the primary care doctor I'd say I've improved about 60%. I still have bad days, but a majority are better now. A friend and I were going to a concert just after I started the anxiety pills, he just got a new truck and wanted to drive, it's about a 4 hour drive. After the trip he was astonished how I didn't insist to drive, didn't complain about his driving, wasn't fighting or nervous the entire time. It's such an improvement that friends will notice the change and your willingness to be more outgoing.

You've also expressed wanting to go to the police academy, something I personally know about. I spent 4 months in USMC boot camp, and after getting out became a police officer. It's not easy having this condition and working this job. You have to be certain places for long periods of times, such as court, maybe a bad car accident, or a deceased person. The public eye (especially these days) are always on you too. But it's certainly achievable. This condition has made my work difficult at times, but it's certainly do-able and I couldn't see myself doing anything else.

Shoot me a message if you have any questions as it seems we have similar situations going on.


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## HaveHope21 (Aug 11, 2015)

Hi,

your story sounds extremely similar to mine, and I am wondering if you have any suggestions on how you are able to deal with car, or bus rides. I have been finding it completely impossible to get into the car even for drives as short as half hour long.

-- Thanks!


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## Mariahcookie (Aug 14, 2015)

I just joined this website and you were the first story i read. It feels like fate because so much of your story sounds exactly like mine. I'm about to write up my own story because this has made me feel so much safer and understood here. Thank you so much


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