# How do I tell my school?



## 19491 (Jul 26, 2005)

In the last academic session, my academic performance was crippled because of IBS. I couldn't sit through lectures, test, or exams. If I didn't think I could make it all the way to school and back (about a 45 minute trip) I wouldn't go and so meeting deadlines started to become a problem.At the time I didn't know I had IBS, all I knew is that the symptoms were embarrasing. Because of this, I didn't tell anyone. When my mother noticed that I wasn't going out much I decided to just tell her. Since then I've visited a gastrologist and I learned that I have IBS and through this site I learned that my experience, thankfully, isn't as bad as it could be. But this is the problem.My symptoms aren't as sever as some peoples but they still cripple me when I'm out, especially in nervous situations like tests. I don't how to explain this to the disabilities office at my school and I fear they won't understand. How can I explain that whether I can sit in on a full lectures or not is totally random and depends on how I feel on that particular day? How can I explain that going to the washroom does not relieve me? When I go to the washroom, no matter how badly I felt I had to go, nothing would come out. I would just return to what I was doing until I felt I had to go again. In this cycle I feel progressively worse. It must psychological or something because when I get home after that kind of day I can immediately go and I never go through the cycle in the first place when I'm at home. Of course, to avoid feeling sick and sicker I try to get home as soon as possible. I think you can understand how this affects my education.So you see my problem is hard to explain and very embarrising, I've only just recently manged to tell my own mother. I also have a strong feeling that there isn't much they can do for me. I read their resources and they say they could reserve seats near exits for students who access to access to a washroom but like I said this only partially helps me. Any ideas?I apologize for the long post.


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## 14416 (Jun 21, 2005)

Hey.. I graduated highschool 3 years ago, but my last year of school I had to notify them, because it had gotten really severe and I was missing a LOT OF SCHOOL.My mom and I went to the school one day, and got a meeting with the principal. he didn't take my condition seriously until my Gastro emailed him and let him know what was up! I would suggest you have your doctor write a detailed letter explaining you may need to miss school some, and might have to go to the bathroom during class. It would also be good to get a pass from the school nurse, so it would be good in getting her a letter from your doctor as well, too. I know at my school kids weren't allowed to use the bathroom at school, unless it was an emergency; however, if you had a nurses note saying you could leave whenever you want, you could do just that.. walk out anytime without question. And even if you don't have one, you always can go to the bathroom. That is one thing I hate about schools. I had such extreme anxiety about the schools not letting me use the bathroom, and fearing I would have an accident, that it probably aggravated my symptoms a lot more than it should have.I would go straight to the top.My school was very good, and if you can talk to your principal and let him know, then I would have your doctor send him a note or fax it to the school.If you had a parent with you, it would be best.. They *usually* take you more seriously with an adult. Although, sometimes IBS is a joke to people.


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## Nikki (Jul 11, 2000)

You could print out and give them a copy of "Molly's brochure" that explains IBS better than i ever could! It is in one of the permanant topics i have posted at the top of this forum. xx


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## 18739 (Jul 22, 2005)

Yes, you should just explain to them your situation they should understand that. You could get a doctor's excuse telling them that you have ibs. My brother was diagnosed with Crohn's and he had to get one for his job. I hope this helps.


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## 18749 (Jun 15, 2005)

Hi, I know what you're going through. My IBS was first diagnosed after my first year at university. For the rest of my degree I had to skip lectures at times as I was too sick to go, and always had the fear that I wouldn't make it through my exams. There was one exam when my IBS was so bad, and I literally rushed through it and finished the exam in a third of the time available, handed it in and ran! They couldn't believe I had finished! I had no idea whether I had answered anything correctly or not, I just couldn't concentrate through the pain and urgency. Needless to say, I did o.k. at university, but definitely could have done better if IBS didn't get in the way!I was shy, and didn't tell anyone at the university about my condition. Looking back, I should definitely have mentioned it to professors, or gone to the administration about it. I would definitely advise you to give it a shot. Set up a meeting with an academic advisor or someone who can help you at your school. Explain the situation, maybe take some information for them, get a doctor's note later if they need it. The worse they can say is "no" and they could be really helpful and help to relieve some of this stress and anxiety that IBS is causing.Good luck!


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## z_girl802 (Mar 3, 2004)

Hi!! I know exactly what you are going through. My last year of college I got diagnosed with ulcerative colitis. I just went to my individual professors and explained to them what is going on. All of them were super supportive and it turned out that one of them has the same disease--she really understood and it was a nice relief in a way. I just basically sucked it up and told them. They are educated people(however, I do know that many of them act like complete jerks)!! Don't worry, but I know its hard not too. Just explain your situation and also, be prepared to answer questions they may have for you. Best Wishes!!


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## kateandtink (Sep 1, 2004)

You do need to tell you school especially if you are missing classes alot. they may make speical arrangemnts for exams in college i had my own room near a bathroom, my IBS still kicked off on those days but deep down i knew i was "safe" as i only had a say "i need the loo" instead of having to hand my hand up for ages with my tummy going mad. My college were good with my work too, they posted me work and my tutor rang me on times where i had been ill for a few days to check i was ok.... i loved college and been helped through was the best thing ever, embarrassing at first but then i thought "why should i be ashamed of having a medical condition" and thats it.. i will educate anyone, anytime, anywhere.I never really made the grades i could though, even though i had the work i still had D upto 20times a day and hwne i wasnt ill, i was exhausted but i survived and well enough to get into university....i applied to university with them knowing full well, what i had and what it did... i have a note taker monday mornings as they were always my "worst" day, if i missed exams, tests et all i need is a doctors note and its settled... trouble is just passes so you have to do very well in the things you are there for. IBS is still frustrating, still smites you back down when you think you are winning but the more people you tell and the more you fight it, the easier life gets.Keep a food and drink diary... long and boring and needs to be kept for months on end but you cant get your triggers then, and remove according.I too like you had major trouble on buses though at the time mom was waiting for her hysterectomy adn they wouldnt let her work, so she was taxiing me... getting home was ok most the time, getting there was hell. This is just anxiety though , i have it now on the same place everytime on the bus the place where the enarest public toilet is at least 20minutes away... does my head in but i hate taking meds att he best of times so i ride it out, turn up my head phones, make phones anything to trying to "black it out".Some peopkle though are very ignorant about our disease they are still with the beleif its in the mind but then they probably still think the earths flat... Fight your corner what we have is real, dont let anyone tell yo different...Anyway best stop my little rant







hope you feel better soonKeep your chuin up


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## Carlyn (Jan 15, 2005)

its really best if you tell your school or college. When i told my school they were really nice to me and didnt moan when i had days off and gave me extra time to do coursework if i was ill when my exams came in school i got to sit at the back of the hall which was a huge relief cos with my surname i would of had to sit right at the front in front of about 100 other pupils.Then on came college and my IBS seemed to not play up very rarely it did tho so i didnt bother to tell the tutors, it was in the second year of college my IBS just hit me like a ton of bricks and i was always off when i told my tutors some of them were like its nothing but cos one of the tutors her son has the same problems she really helped so i felt bit more comfortable.i really think you should let your school or college know they most likely will be alot more helpful then you think, if you think you cant tell then face to face try over the phone or write a letter explaining it all and put it on there desk when you know they aint gonna be in the room or if it really helps have your parent come with you to do most of the explaining, you really should tell them it would be a big relief once you have


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## 16795 (Aug 11, 2005)

Take literature with you to a sit-down with the principal/dean/prof. That way you have something to back up what they are telling you. And don't go in with the feeling that they won't believe you--have a positive attitude, that will help you tremendously! I had my doc contact one of my college prof's b/c he was a jerk and I felt I needed a little back up from someone else!


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