# where is my libido



## 20784 (Feb 6, 2006)

hello all.....I am starting to feel desperate. I feel like the past year while having IBS I have been avoiding sex. I am no longer in the mood, and I cant stop agonisingover my bowels. I ahve startedtherapy about 9 months ago, but am notsure it is helping wiht this issue. Its so frustrating.....how do you ladies manage to have an active sex life with an illness like this?.....I am going to whinge for a moment and say I HATE IT!!!...really do.....thanks for listening.


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## BQ (May 22, 2000)

Kim, I read the title of this thread and I gotta tell ya, I laughed right out loud. And my first thought for an answer was "Didja check under the toliet lid?"((((((Kim))))))It's rough no? This is a topic that many of us struggle with. Some folks are on certain medications that can make you feel like you have lost all desire. Others of us.. well it is kinda hard to "get in the mood" if you really don't feel well. Others may feel like it but are afraid of having accidents during... etc.... But I will tell you, in my experience, an understanding partner goes a long way to helping us with this. And the only way my partner could understand was if I talked to him about it. Which I did. Just putting the topic on the conversation table helped.Sometimes it is more difficult than others. Sometimes I am not up for anything more than cuddling. But sometimes.. it is a great escape away from feeling icky or thinking about feeling icky.And yeah we have had our trials with it along the way.. but since we talk about it.. not so bad.And he has learned that if I jump up and run to the bathroom ... he's definitely NOT to take that personally.







I mean it can be rough on a person's ego when their partner runs to the BR to throw up. LOL(Yes, that has actually happened.... and yes we laughed pretty hard. LOL)So talking, using humor... maybe pushing one's self to make an effort sometimes turns out to be something you are glad you did.Part of this involved my journey to accepting that I had a chronic illness. And realizing eventually that if I waited til I felt "well" or even "good".. it just wouldn't happen most of the time. And once I realized that sometimes it actually made me feel better. And once I and had a few positive experiences, and a few negative ones and my spouse did leave the room running or screaming..nor did he love me any less.. this issue began to resolve itself. Talk...Try...and don't forget....laugh once in awhile too.BQ


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## 20270 (Nov 1, 2006)

I was going to suggest looking under the bed! I have this same problem too! Im 22, and when I first met my BF, I was waiting for him to catch up to me. Now, its almost like a chore for me, that I do when I feel like he has waited long enough. However sometimes it does make me feel better, so I do try to keep it somewhat regular. Do things that make you feel "in the mood" even if its eating special foods or watching special movies. And most importantly, remember that you aren't alone in this feeling!


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## mdonbru (Oct 15, 2003)

If you find yours, can you ask it if it knows where mine went?My poor hubby - we have only been married for 6 years and we pretty much have sex maybe once a month. For me it's a combination of IBS, perimenopause and the fact I have gained a little weight and I don't feel sexy. My husband does not care about the weight one bit but I just don't feel like myself. He totally understands the whole IBS thing, too - and he's very sweet about it. But I know he wishes we could be intimate more. So do I.







Marty


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## 20784 (Feb 6, 2006)

)))))yes have looked under bed!!!! thanks for all the replies.....I think asyou all suggest I just have to do it and make a habit of it....I think I am stillhaving trouble accepting I have this ilness, and am always hoping I will wake up one day and be cured.....If you all have any tips n moving towards acceptance, that would be great.


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## 14448 (Jun 14, 2006)

My libido seems non-existant at the moment! I feel irritated at the thought of having to have sex, yet I know it's v.important to my boyfriend so I try to get round to it. The worse thing is he gets upset if I don't seem to enjoy it, so I have to put on a big show of loving it (fantasizing about chocolate helps







!)I wish I could find an aphrodisiac to get me in the mood. Generally I can have great orgasms through oral sex or playing on my own, but penetration turns me cold. Mainly because it hurts, is at best uncomfortable. I feel like my intestines are being bruised. Also I'm afraid of accidently passing gas or leaking something onto the sheet (to avoid this risk I don't eat for hours before sex, another thing that turns me off about it!)Gingseng is supposed to be an approdisiac but I'm yet to try it. Also is the herb Guarana, arjuna powder, figs, berries, and chocolate. Spices like ginger, saffron, nutmeg and cinnamon are supposed to warm the blood and inflame desire! And the Aztecs made hot chilli chocolate as an aphrodisiac, but I think that would have me on the loo for days







I find alcohol can help get me in the mood.Jasmine, ylang ylang and neroli aromatherapy oils are said to said to be approdisiac too. Occasionally I really get into sex and love it, but it's only when my IBS is going through a good patch.


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## administrator (Aug 20, 2004)

The Moderator Team has had several reports of SPAM abuse.As a new BB member, you are free to post about your juice product on the Products Forum: http://ibsgroup.org/groupee/forums/a/frm/f/76110261Kindly please follow posting guidelines and refrain from posting the same information to several threads. Spammers are usually easily spotted when they are new members and are not coming to the BB to ask for guidance, but rather post the same message on several threads.Further abuse of the posting guidelines may result in deletion of similar posts without notice and/or suspension of membership.Thank you for your cooperation. It is greatly appreciated.The Moderator Team


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## 19114 (Nov 30, 2006)

This was an issue for me too. I've learned that my husband is crazy enough to think I'm attractive first thing in the morning, and crazy enough to want to "get down" with the lights on, so me feeling like I have a buddha belly doesn't make much difference to him. For some reason the guy loves me, and I'm greatful. Because of that I feel like we are able to have relations. If he wasn't supportive and understanding, we'd be in a lot of trouble. Good luck with this.


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## 17241 (Dec 2, 2006)

sometimes just have to 'bite the bullet' i guess. sometimes i just go along ; )this is silly but if i have a glass of red wine then i feel a little more frisky. just a sugg.think it helps cause buzz helps me not worry and think about gut so much.


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