# Advice? I think I made a mistake.



## shyra22f (May 9, 2000)

Much needed advice on this one. For those who don't know my situation I'll make a long story short; due to panic attacks and anxiety I was taken off the schedule at work. My problems began back in October and they had me working VERY part time since then (about 16 hours a week) effective mid March I was taken off the schedule all together. Needless to say this was very upsetting to me and I really resented the fact that my employer of over 2 years did this to me. However, I do understand that he has a business to run.So about 3 weeks ago he asked me if I could work a few days this week because of Mother's Day which is EXTREMELY busy. Well, stupid me said yes. I felt like I was kind of put on the spot, and since that day I've totally regreted it. I should also add, that my 3 co-workers who I had become quite close with have made no effort to stay in touch with me since my absence. We used to do stuff outside of work all the time, and now I get the feeling that they dislike me or they're angry, I'm not sure what. In October when I returned from about 5 days off, each of them told me what the other was saying about me while I was gone.. one of them said, "we practically had to put our lives on hold because of you". Nice hey? When the one called a couple weeks ago to tell me which days I was working she was very cold and short with me. I had spoke to my boss on the phone the night before he asked if I could work and told him that I was taking a 15 week medical leave, but that hasn't come into effect yet.To add to that, I also have something VERY stressful going on in my life right now. It involves someone very close to me, and the outcome of this situation is still unknown and due to that I haven't been able to talk to anyone about it. The combination of all this has turned me into an anxious mess and I really don't know how/if I'm going to be able to make it through three days of work. I can't even begin to imagine how uncomfortable working with my co-workers is going to be, the anxiety and panic is about 10 times worse with what's going on now. I just feel confused and depressed about all this.None of my friends or family understand how I'm feeling and that's making me feel very isolated. I just wanted to vent here, as I know everyone on the BB knows these feelings. I guess one word to describe how I'm feeling right now is very overwhelmed. I don't know if I should/can go to work and everything else that's going on is out of my control but it's mentally consuming. I'm one of those people that has a very hard time saying no, and an even harder time backing out of it after the fact. I also posted this in the meeting place, but most people in this forum have or are going through this right now. If anyone could offer any words of wisdom I'd really appreciate it. Thank you.


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## Clair (Sep 16, 2000)

Shyra,I'm really sorry to hear your going through a rough time right now.I can totally emphathize with your situation as I've been through it myself.Firstly, I know its hard - but don't concern yourself with what other people think of you because of your illness.I'm sure alot of IBS'ers on this board will have experienced what I call 'fair weather friends'.These are people that like you and enjoy your company when everything is going along just fine, but the moment you become ill and feel you need a little support from them - they back away because they don't understand how to deal with it.IBS, depression and anxiety are difficult to understand unless you are directly effected by them - so it is most likely that these colleagues just understand what your going through and don't know how to treat you accordingly.Instead of worrying what these people think of you, try to invest all you energy in making yourself better and enjoying your life as much as you can.OK - your going to have to go back to work for a couple of days - and possibly into a situation into which you feel very uncomfortable.You have possibly two options - speaking to these colleagues and explaining just how ill you have been and what a debilitating effect it is having on your life - and hope they show some sympathy and support,Or, try to see it as a challenge and show you are a better more understanding person than they are. Go to work and be pleasant yet professional and at the end of each day reward yourself for being strong enough to make it through.Hope this helps,Clair


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## shyra22f (May 9, 2000)

Dear Clair, Thank you for your encouragement







I'll post the link to the thread in the meeting place so you can hear the good news. You made some very good points that helped a great deal in what I decided and how I chose to have the day go.. thanks!







http://www.ibsgroup.org/ubb/Forum3/HTML/010167.html ------------------"I'm not a failure if I don't make it - I'm a success because I tried"-unknown


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## Guest (May 13, 2001)

Good points Clair,Shyra, lots of support here if you need it







Best RegardsMike


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## shyra22f (May 9, 2000)

Thanks Mike







Greatly appreciated. I'm thankful that a forum specifically for Anxiety and treatments was made. ------------------"I'm not a failure if I don't make it - I'm a success because I tried"-unknown


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## AZmom1 (Dec 6, 1999)

So Shyra,How did your week at work go?AZ


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## shyra22f (May 9, 2000)

Dear AZ,Thank you so much for asking. Work went WAY better than I had expected. It was only a total of three days but after that first day I knew everything was going to be okay. The one co-worker who I was most worried about acting rudely towards me told me that it's not the same without me there and that I always know what needs to be done without having to be asked to do it. I was glad to hear it because now I know that they probably regret taking me off. The replacement doesn't seem to be working out very well from the sounds of it. Just goes to show that you don't know what you have until it's gone







I have my next CBT appointment tomorrow and I can't wait to share the good news with her. Overall my anxiety is decreasing, she has had me graphing my progress over the past two weeks. I really wish I would've thought to have done that since the beginning. On the graph you can definitly see a decrease and that's just over fourteen days.I still can't say I'm 100% better at this point but the CBT is helping a lot. I still get the anxious thoughts and feelings but can better cope with them. I find it amazing what a simple sentence can do to calm one down. I can be feeling so anxious that I feel my heart pounding in my chest, and at the very moment that I say something encouraging to myself I can literally feel my heart rate drop considerably.Also (I hope I don't jinx myself by saying this) I may be getting a new job!!







It's still kind of in the air. I would be working for a friend of my sister's. He owns his own business and it's really picking up. She told me I may have a job as soon as next week







The thought of having a steady full time job that I'm comfortable with gives me the sense of moving forward that's for sure. But like I said, that's not definite as of yet. If I DO get the job I already have my long term goals figured out which is a first in a very long time.I didn't mean to rammble here. I'm just feeling really good about what I've accomplished over the last couple of months. I've even gone back and checked my old posts and I can see the difference in how I'm coming along. I should also add that the other stress that had been going on is now over and resolved with the outcome I had hoped for, so that's a really big relief.I'd just like to thank everyone for their support. (I feel like I'm giving an Oscar speech) But honestly, being able to come here and talk about this is therapy in itself. So thanks again







------------------"I'm not a failure if I don't make it - I'm a success because I tried"-unknown


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## Clair (Sep 16, 2000)

Shyra,So glad it went well for you







I knew you could do it! now don't forget to reward yourself once in a while - you deserve it!Clair


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