# ibs and relationships



## sweet pea20 (Jun 29, 2011)

I've had IBS since i was 10. Over the past 10 years i've gotten worse and worse. I've tried to adjust my life around it. waking up extra early to give my stomach time to calm down. taking sooo many pills just so i wont have D, even if that means i have other horrible side effects. its not really making anything better tho. i feel like none of my friends or family know what i go through everyday, and i feel completely alone. only my mom knows my symptoms, but i doubt she can really grasp what i'm going through. my boyfriend is pretty understanding about the fact that i don't feel good a lot and we can't always go out like we used to. however.. he doesn't know that its ibs-d. mostly because i'm on my meds and am mostly just nauseous or in pain. we are thinking about moving in together in the next year and as happy and excited about it, its terrifying. when he comes and stays with me for a weekend it is stressful enough trying to hide it from him. He's developed stomach problems too and has no shame in it, but its soo embarassing for me. i just dont know what to do! ughhh. i want a normal life and not have to worry.im sure many of yall are married or in relationships.. i mean how did you bring it up with your spouse or how did they feel about it. obviously i know he would love me anyway... i guess the better question is how did yall become comfortable with people knowing what you are going through.


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## Ploopsalot (Jun 17, 2011)

Just tell him! Everyone uses the loo. Once you tell him and talk about it the embarrassment will fade.I used to have the same situation with my girlfriend but now we talk about anything, it's much better for the relationship to be honest about these things!


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## getfitwithbrett (Jun 29, 2011)

sweet pea20 said:


> I've had IBS since i was 10. Over the past 10 years i've gotten worse and worse. I've tried to adjust my life around it. waking up extra early to give my stomach time to calm down. taking sooo many pills just so i wont have D, even if that means i have other horrible side effects. its not really making anything better tho. i feel like none of my friends or family know what i go through everyday, and i feel completely alone. only my mom knows my symptoms, but i doubt she can really grasp what i'm going through. my boyfriend is pretty understanding about the fact that i don't feel good a lot and we can't always go out like we used to. however.. he doesn't know that its ibs-d. mostly because i'm on my meds and am mostly just nauseous or in pain. we are thinking about moving in together in the next year and as happy and excited about it, its terrifying. when he comes and stays with me for a weekend it is stressful enough trying to hide it from him. He's developed stomach problems too and has no shame in it, but its soo embarassing for me. i just dont know what to do! ughhh. i want a normal life and not have to worry.im sure many of yall are married or in relationships.. i mean how did you bring it up with your spouse or how did they feel about it. obviously i know he would love me anyway... i guess the better question is how did yall become comfortable with people knowing what you are going through.


I have been married for 15 years now. My IBS raised its ugly head while we were dating. Talk about pressure. Having a romantic evening after a nice dinner and we are enjoying each others company and have to run to the bathroom in HER apartment and have the loud squirts. Ugh...first time it happened I was mortified. But I she was so understanding and helpful. And we have been together ever since. She knows about my episodes. And has been so happy for me over the last year with my IBS symptoms now completely gone. Just be honest with him! If it is meant to be he will understand Good luck!Brett


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## My Life is Sad (Jun 28, 2011)

Im 20 yrs old and I've been with my boyfriend for 6 years and he NEVER knew. I would have to get ready and try to calm my nervous stomach early before I saw him and the days I've stayed over were a complete nightmare for me. I had to somehow hide what I would do in the bathroom.I was sorta the same as you: He knew I didnt feel good a lot so I'd have him take me home or it would stop us from going out and doing stuff but he NEVERRR knew i had IBS-D...thats so embarassing... but we have a lot of plans coming up where we are taking trips and stayingn in hotels together along with trips with his family for the summer so I finally told him the other day..I was so scared..but first i explained to him how its becuase of my nervous stomach and how it consumes my life and then i told him it was IBS-D...well without sayind the 'D' word...I just said I have to get to the bathroom all the time.He was really understanding, he actually felt really bad for me and said he will help me stay calm, eat right, and try to make sure he can get me to the bathroom whenever I need to. I feel like a big weight has been lifted off my shoulders.I never thought I'd tell him, but now I feel so much better in the relationship department and IBS-D.Now my only worry is dealing with Job and IBS-D.Good Luck :]


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## sweet pea20 (Jun 29, 2011)

thanks for the advice! just knowing theres another girl out there going through the same exact thing as me with a good ending makes me feel a lot better.


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## Lookin'foraLife (Jan 2, 2009)

You all are so lucky to have found understanding people to share your lives with.I guess that's the real test of a relationship: Will they stay will you not only in health but also in illness and love you no matter what challenges you face.I wasn't as lucky. My IBS-C began during a very serious relationship and all he knew (and all I knew at the time since I had no idea what was going on with me until I finally got diagnosed) was that I was weak and in pain with severe nausea most of the time and was losing weight fast.He got angry that I was "sick all the time" and didn't feel up to going out much and that "everything revolved" around me. "What about ME???" he whined. This was after over a year of dating and speaking of marriage. Eventually I couldn't put up with his pressuring me to be healthy and cater to his needs, so I felt I had no choice but to end the relationship. Had I not developed IBS we might be married today.


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## AnxietyPrincess (Jul 20, 2011)

sweet pea20 said:


> I've had IBS since i was 10. Over the past 10 years i've gotten worse and worse. I've tried to adjust my life around it. waking up extra early to give my stomach time to calm down. taking sooo many pills just so i wont have D, even if that means i have other horrible side effects. its not really making anything better tho. i feel like none of my friends or family know what i go through everyday, and i feel completely alone. only my mom knows my symptoms, but i doubt she can really grasp what i'm going through. my boyfriend is pretty understanding about the fact that i don't feel good a lot and we can't always go out like we used to. however.. he doesn't know that its ibs-d. mostly because i'm on my meds and am mostly just nauseous or in pain. we are thinking about moving in together in the next year and as happy and excited about it, its terrifying. when he comes and stays with me for a weekend it is stressful enough trying to hide it from him. He's developed stomach problems too and has no shame in it, but its soo embarassing for me. i just dont know what to do! ughhh. i want a normal life and not have to worry.im sure many of yall are married or in relationships.. i mean how did you bring it up with your spouse or how did they feel about it. obviously i know he would love me anyway... i guess the better question is how did yall become comfortable with people knowing what you are going through.


I may be young, but i went through hell in my last relationship. I started having stomach problems (later found out that it is IBS.)I started dating my now boyfriend. I've been going out with him for over a year and a month now (i know it's not that long, but he is my best friend and the best i could ever ask for), but he has known about my stomach problems since before we went out. I was diagnosed with IBS about 4 months ago. He knew being I would go to the bath and "Get sick" a lot. He didn't know if it was puking or D. He now knows i do not puke...ever. He is the best when it comes to my stomach. He knows about my anxiety and how it affects my bipolar stomach. He knows I can't eat everything that he can. His mother has gone so far as to get me seperate dinners. He never knew how bad my anxiety was til the other week when i broke down crying to him. Try explaining what happens with your stomach and let them him know you cannot help it. :] I promise everything should be okay in the end. If it's not okay then it's not the end.


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