# Online professional talkers ?



## Notme (Oct 21, 2007)

It seems like it would be too good to be true. My main issues with being so depressed is not being able to talk to people. Not being able to tell the doctor or face up to therapist. Every time I have gone I end up saying things like "I know I shouldn't think this and I should think this" and "I'm trying to do this " when really ... even though I know what I should do .. I still don't. Being annoymous and being able to talk to a professional would be ideal step to get closer to being able to face the typical treatment methods. I haven't found anything online that does cost money. Even talking on the phone seems impossible, living with other people I fear of being overheard.Why hasn't any 'expert' come up with a way to slowly easy people in out situation into feeling comfortable to seek help ? Sadly most people don't ... and some people never do until it's too late and they have taken matters into their own hands.How did any of you ever pluck up the courage to be open and honest to someone about your inner thoughts ? Admit your 'weaknesses' so they can THEN tell you can reassure that in fact it's not a weakness at all ? I'm taking anti depressants and have been for about 8 months I still feel as depressed as I ever have. Doctors have agreed that the medicine I am on isn't' helping and should be changed. Both my local GP and my hospital doctor. Hospital doctor prescribed new ones, I reacted badly and was told to go back to the old ones 'for now'. This was about 4 months ago. I feel undermined each time I see a doctor. So here I am .. not wanting to bother to talk to any of them anymore, not face to face anyway.


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## Guest (Oct 21, 2007)

Oh you poor old stick - it is a right old lottery accessing good mental health care and I do feel so for you. As a fellow sufferer from depression I know how hard it is to be up close and personal - I'm a Brit so with me it was more a case of stiff upper lip and being resolutely cheery whilst falling to pieces inside.I sort of agree that an on-line criscis resource might be helpful I've never come across such a facility. I must say, at times, I resorted to the Samaritans who I found less than helpful but I was seriously depressed and probably way beyond that sort of help and ended up in a psychiatric hospital.Do feel you can open up here on this forum - its very supportive and our moderator Cherrie is a definate star. If you want to PM me - please do so.I would say if the anti-d's aren't working now after 8 months - you should seek out a sympathetic GP and try and find a more suitable prescription. I had to try 3 before I finally started to see good results. Take heart - 20 months on from a suicide attempt, I'm well (in remission - thats how I consider it) working part-time and a halfway decent wife and mother but you'll have to be robust and persistent about finding something to help with the depression.Good luck and stay in touch OKSue xxx


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## jms1963 (Feb 23, 2007)

Hello Notme -I understand how you feel. It took me many years to admit, even to myself, that I needed help - and then it took a few more until I found a doctor I was comfortable with - and then quite some time till I felt comfortable enough to open up to my therapist. Every since childhood I have been an anxious type person, but it wasn't until my father passed away (I was 32) that I hit rock bottom and finally sought out help. When I look back I wish I would have went for help sooner. I wasted so many years being so uptight, stressed out and just miserable. Finding the right doctor and a therapist you feel comfortable with is hard. I have been seeing the same therapist for about 5 years now and within the past year finally have truly opened up to her. It takes a long time for me to feel secure with someone to be able to let it all out - I knew part of it was my own insecurities so I stuck with it even though sometimes it seemed like a waste of time and money. This forum has also been very helpful to me - just knowing that there other people out there with the same problems helps me to feel so not alone in all this. Hoping you find some peace ...Jodie


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## Notme (Oct 21, 2007)

Just knowing I'm not the only one who finds it so hard to open up to these people is a comfort. I mean it's what they are there for .. they have heard it all before .. they wont' judge..... but my brain doesn't let me think that. Just makes me think it's embrassing and awkward and if I open up they will think I'm just a big can of crazy and want to section me. That's a bit dramatic and I'm sure some time in a place isn't bad. Just it's a common fear with us types I guess. At least I'm learning to say things to my partner now. I have always found I'm better listening to other problems then talking about my own. Especially when I'm with someone. I worry I'll put them off talking about fears I have of going out and pooping my pants ! I never had but the fear is still there. Luckily I have a very understanding man by my side so each time I get a response that isn't " YOU FREAK HAHAH" or something similar .. the more I can be encouraged to be open. I'm just impatience I want everything fixed NOW !


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