# Planning my wedding! Severe IBS-D, what to do...



## bride2be (Jul 31, 2009)

Hey all! I am so happy I found this website for support







I'm 23, and I have been suffering with severe IBS-D for the past 4 years. I was perfectly healthy when all the symptoms started, and it came on all at once. My life has completely changed! I am always stuck at home, I avoid driving and I can't be away from the toilet for any amount of time without needing to use it again. I've seen several specialists, tried several prescription drugs and alternative therapies/herbal remedies, had every medical test known to man it seems, and nothing has really helped me. As a result I suffer from depression, and high anxiety when I am forced to get away from the toilet... and that only worsens the IBS!On the bright side, my boyfriend of several years proposed to me last week. I haven't been this happy in a long time! I am so excited to marry him, he is truly the man of my dreams and he has been so supportive through my illness. I'm so lucky to have him in my life!I'm totally stressed out about planning the wedding. There's no question my IBS will be acting up, because the past 4 years have been like one constant "flare up." There isn't much I can do to control the diarrhea and urgency (and not to mention nausea, my latest symptom) so I'm trying to figure out a way to make the wedding a little less stressful. I would like to elope one day, on one of my better days when the symptoms aren't as terrible, but he really wants to have a formal wedding... Deep down I want a big formal wedding too, but even the thought of standing in front of so many people for an hour or longer without a restroom is just too much for me to handle.My biggest worry is that midway down the aisle I'll have to RUN to the bathroom! Or need it during our wedding vows, or vomit, or have those agonizing stomach pains.. the list goes on! Or worse, having an accident while wearing a white dress in front of all our friends and family.If anyone has some suggestions to make the day go a little easier please let me know, I would appreciate it so much!


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## magoo (Dec 4, 1999)

Congrats! Sounds like you found a great guy! First of all, if it is going to stress you out so much that you won't be able to enjoy your big day then you need to talk to your fiance and find something that is best for you. When I got married, I started planning the reception (300+ people!) and I got too overwhelmed so I asked if we could elope and my hubby was all for it. Went to the Caribbean, got married on a pier overlooking the sea and was NOT stressed at all. No need to worry about plane trips to get to the honeymoon or anything cause we were already there. Plus, when we got back our families got together and threw us a huge reception in our backyard and they did everything so I wouldn't get so stressed out. 3 months later we got married in our church in a small ceremony in front of just family, it was at night when my IBS-D is more controllable. If you really need to do the big church/reception thing, my advice would be to have other people do most of the planning and you just basically show-up with extra immodium in hand. My sisters love to do all that planning stuff, I'm sure your friends and family wouldn't mind. Besides, a lot of people throw-up and run to the bathroom on their wedding day. My brother-in-law did and he doesn't even have IBS.


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## Glenda (Aug 15, 2000)

I have found for Me , that if there is a major event that I need to do or attend , 3 to 4 days prior to this , I eat extremely lite meals. Very Lite meals. Including the morning of. No "D" trigger food of any kind.It has worked wonders for me.


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## bride2be2 (Jul 31, 2009)

Hi bride2be, OMG I am so happy to have found you. I am 26 years old and have had IBS-D for about 8 years now. I also believe I now have anxiety because of it. Like you, I recently got engaged on July 3rd and I am planning my wedding for next year July 31st. Ever since I got engaged, I have had the worst IBS symptoms due to the stress, excitement, and of course anticipation. I am terrified of walking down the aisle and pictures because I am so scared of there not being a washroom around close by.Doctors that I have seen don't care at all which really drives me crazy......I am in pain all the time when I have an attack and most of all it is embarrassing! I am seeing my doctor next week to get a referral to a gastroenterologist and then I am also going to start to take control of my stress and thoughts now so that I can cope on my wedding day. I am going to see someone for stress - reduction techniques.Have you seen a specialist at all? I live on Imodium and pepto bismo which I can't stand because I am terrified that I will build a tolerance to these and eventually they will stop working. It feels like no one understands what we go through. I am in two of my best friends weddings this year and I get so worried of having an attack that I bring on my own IBS.We can get through this together my friend. Any ideas?


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## bride2be (Jul 31, 2009)

I have been through ALOT of medical tests and everything comes back normal. Colonoscopies, endoscopies, blood tests, the camera pill, barium tests, biopsies, the works! I have been to one local gastro doctor who referred me to two specialists, on at UVA and the other at Cleveland Clinic. One specialist recommended Lotronex but I am afraid to take it because it has some really serious side effects and I just don't want to risk it. The other specialist recommended additional testing, and I had some biopsies taken of my intestine to check for microscopic inflammation which turned out normal. I've tried several anti-spasmatic drugs that are supposed to relieve IBS symptoms but nothing has helped. My general practitioner is really understanding and thinks with time my symptoms will get better - right now I'm taking medicine when I absolutely need to leave the house and taking probiotics and Psyllium Husk fiber (not sure on the spelling.) All the colonoscopies and tests made me feel worse so I haven't been to another doctor for about 2 years. I am thinking of seeing another GI doctor though.I live on Zofran for nausea and Lomotil for the diarrhea. I can pop Immodium like tic tacs without much of a result and no matter what I take, I still have the urgency and pain. Recently I have been taking Pepcid Complete once or twice a day to help neutralize stomach acid... I haven't seen any change yet though.I keep putting off setting the wedding date because I am afraid that I'll be too sick that day to make it to my own wedding! And I can't decide on how I should do the ceremony - which is my main concern. I'm sure my nerves will be a total wreck that day which will worsen the IBS. I'm SO worried about the ceremony! I really like the idea of having my friends and family plan the day for me, and then just showing up! I'm pretty nervous about going to all the different places I'll need to go to pick out flowers, food, etc. Maybe I can get by with just going to find a dress, and leave the rest to someone else. I'm really considering hiring a full time wedding planner to take care of everything for me.


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## Kathleen M. (Nov 16, 1999)

Have you tried Calcium Carbonate, that slows down the diarrhe for some people. There is a thread pinned in the diarrhea forum.Questran (or other bile binders) might be something the GP would be willing to try. That sometimes calms the diarrhea down enough to make a big difference.Some people find a low dose of a tricyclic antidepressant or one of the SNRI's like Cymbalta can help with the urgency and pain.


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## bride2be (Jul 31, 2009)

I have tried Calcium Carbonate but I couldn't see a difference when I took it a few years ago. The Pepcid Complete does have some calcium carbonate in it, but I haven't been taking it long enough to see results! I also have a thyroid disease that requires me to take a prescription that can't be used within 6 hours of taking calcium, so I can only use calcium products in the first half of the day (I take the thyroid medication at night.)I've also tried Questran, but it didn't have any effect.When I first had stomach trouble the GI doctor gave me some Citrucel fiber, which didn't work at all! Now I take the Psyllium Husk fiber in powder form and capsules twice a day and it helps slow the diarrhea down some (binds and fewer bowel movements) but the urgency is still there. I have tried Cymbalta, Paxil, Sinequan, Zoloft and a few others without any relief. I'm really hoping to find something that gives me some sort of relief before the wedding!


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## petra (Feb 2, 2009)

first of all-congrats. I think I would opt for the lotroxex-you just might be symptom free and never look back. Maybe try it out and if it doesn't suit then stop it. Now patients are monitored very carefully so I doubt there would be any major problem for you. Best of luck with whatever you decide to do.


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## PhillyAngel (Jun 17, 2009)

CONGRATULATIONS!way before that big day, in addition to Caltrate Plus D, experiment with Metamucil (fiber bulking agent for stools and is suppose to slow watery runs down), Immodium and Pepto Bismol to see what works for you.Best Wishes!


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## magoo (Dec 4, 1999)

bride-to-be, I am probably you but a few years older








I worried about my wedding BEFORE I got engaged if you can believe that, let alone thru the whole engagement. Like I said in my earlier post, I just couldn't do the big wedding - I have anxiety too and I probably could've made it thru the event, but I know I would not have enjoyed it and that's why we decided to elope. I can't imagine having all eyes on me and having to go table to table, I would've been in panic mode all day. Like you, Questron didn't work or any of the prescriptions the doc gave me. Again, if you want to do the wedding have other people plan it, do as much as you can over the internet, maybe throw the reception in a hotel/banquet place where you can have a room there in case of an accident or just to get a breather. Sometimes knowing you have a room makes you feel better. You'll go crazy worrying about it for a year, can you move up the date maybe for less time to worry? The most important thing to remember is that the day is for 2 people and if anything else happens it doesn't matter because you are marrying a wonderful person and everything else is trivial


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## nw0528 (Apr 17, 2009)

First of all, congratulations!Like you, I was so worried about my IBS-D and my wedding (in 2005). I am the ultimate planner and while I enjoyed planning the wedding, I was worried the whole time about what if my IBS-D was unbearable that day. What if I had to "go" during the ceremony. The truth is, it was the best day of my life and one of the few days that I felt 100% fine. (Well, quite nervous that morning, but every bride is!). Here's my advice:- Keep in mind you have a year (I think you said) to plan this wedding and also to experiment with different meds. to find something to use that day. You could try Lotronex ahead of time to see if it works for you... I took Lorazepam the night before and when I woke up to help with anxiety related IBS symptoms, ate small meals that morning, brought saltine crackers in my purse to eat between the ceremony and the reception so I would not be famished (that brings on symptoms for me).- Pick a setting and number of guests that works for you. You don't have to elope, but could have a small ceremony with your families and close friends who understand your situation.- Pick at time of day that works best for you and your IBS-D. I picked 3:00 in the afternoon knowing my symptoms are the WORST in the early am, and needing time to have something light to eat (around 11 I think), time to take Immodium (I took 6 or 8 pills in the hours leading up to the wedding to PREVENT D), time to get hair, make-up, dressed, etc. - I chose to NOT have my photographer/video person come when I was getting ready. I joked with my bridesmaids that they would just be filming the bathroom door...They went to the church and did photos of the guys and my husband's family. - I picked an "extra" song my soloist and pianist would do if I had to run for the bathroom. They never needed it, but we were prepared.I had extra underwear in my purse (did not need). - We did not go on our honeymoon the next day (did that a month from our wedding). Three weeks in Hawaii and to be honest that was much WORSE than the wedding day standing in front of 150 people. I felt like I had more CONTROL over the events of my wedding. Traveling is a nightmare for me. Thank God we went for a month to Hawaii. The first week I was basically in the hotel room with IBS-D so bad.- I was more worried about the sit-down dinner at our reception than the ceremony. I ate quite little, (no one noticed...) I used the restroom just in case right before cutting the cake and our first dance. - And I just wanted to mention that even people without IBS have situations at weddings where they are sick due to nerves, bugs, pass out, etc. My best friend is a violinist and she has played at several weddings where the grooms have passed out (and best man too), and one where the groom had a stomach bug and vomited through the ceremony (and everyone thought Oh that poor guy, but guess what...those things happen!)The last thing I wanted to mention is you could consider (if you haven't already done this) working with a psychologis who specializes in this. I did this prior to starting my teaching job and learned lots of relaxation techniques. It helped a lot. The day of the wedding I just totally focused on my husband and myself and stayed in the moment of what was happening and did not worry about a thing.It was the best day of my life and I felt the best I ever have. Good luck to you!Nicole


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## bride2be (Jul 31, 2009)

Thank you all so much for your posts, they have helped me feel a little better about it all. I've talked to my close friends and family about how worried I am, and even though they are trying to be supportive the "oh just don't worry about it and you'll be fine" comments don't help much when I've been having 3-4 (or more) IBS attacks a day for the last four years!My fiance and I still haven't set the date yet. I'm just not sure if I can be as strong as you guys are and get through a traditional wedding. My mother has offered to plan the whole day for me, all I would have to do is pick a dress, flowers and a cake - then just show up. I've also been thinking of having a very small wedding with fewer than ten close relatives and friends. Both my parents and my fiance's parents/grandparents are aware of my situation and they're all really supportive.When I think about all the things I've lost due to IBS I feel like I deserve to have one big day and forget about it, but I am certain I'll have IBS issues on my wedding because I do every day. I just don't want to have any regrets about what I do decide on.... I wish they'd hurry up and find a cure for this horrible illness.


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## bride2be (Jul 31, 2009)

Been having massive flare ups lately! Not sure if it's because of stress or what.. but D is bad and I feel a pressure in my upper abdomen that I have never felt before, it's so painful!I saw my doctor today who sent me to have an abdomen CT with contrast dye right away... I'll get the results back in a few days... really hope they can find out what's doing this!Fiance and I set the official date for February of next year, so I am going to the doctors to see if I can give them one last shot to find a treatment for me before the wedding. Keeping my fingers crossed


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## Hester (Jul 5, 2009)

Have you tried any antibiotics? I just feel bad for you and wonder what it is with this IBS diagnosis since so many of us can pinpoint a moment when everything changed. I knew my issue was bacteria when my Naturopath did a LIVE BLOOD CELL Analysis and my plasma was 90 percent bacteria, my white cells were not doing anything and my red cells were dieing in front of my eyes and did not "glow". None of my traditional bloodwork had found ANYTHING! That is when I went back to my GI and said, "Let's try an antibiotic." He's a good guy and willing to try anything to help me feel better since we are both at a loss. So, he wrote a script for Tetracycline. My symptoms improved in FOUR hours! Two weeks later my plasma was clear. Sadly, I seem to have to stay on the antibiotic to feel good. My doc changed my diagnosis from IBS-D to SIBO/SBBO. My ND is now trying garlic, peppermint and grapefruit seed extract to keep the bacteria at bay while aloe juice mixed with glutamine powder heals my gut wall along with her own special herbal tea mix. I guess time will tell. The calcium pills did help me to deal with the diarrhea but I had to hit 2000 mg a day and not miss a dose. I am actually kind of blocked up now unless I have even one glass of wine. Then the diarrhea comes right back just not as yellow and watery. Here is a list of some of the things I have seen people do to help with IBS-D:TO STOP DIARRHEA:Calcium Carbonate plus DImodiumPepto bismolkaopectateRX anti-diarrhea medsFiberProbotics without FOSsaccharomyces boulardii (also used for c-diff) Florastor but Florastor has dairy! Elimination diets (like no annatto or food additives)no fructose dietsno dairy food dietscholestyramine powder for Habba Syndrome rather than IBS-D because it absorbs bile saltsTO STOP ANXIETY:AntidepressantsL-Tryptophen (herb)Valerian RootChamomile and other calming herbalsExerciseBiofeedbackHypnosisMassageGUT WALL REPAIR/BALANCE:No GlutenNo Dairy/whey/casin/cassinate/milk/cheese/yogurt - oddly enough, one of the posters got relief from eating lots of yogurt and taking a special dairy food called Kefir http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/KefirHigh fiber/fiber pills or powders - psyllium husk seems bestFish OilFlavinoidsFreshly Ground FlaxseedsProbotics without FOS or selective probotic typingDigestive Enzymes - many, many to choose from and it is hit and missWhole Foods/Raw Food dietsGlutamine PowderFenugreek capsBorage oil capsSulfur powderLiquid Aloe JuiceLiquid VitaminsNoni JuiceColloidal mineralsJuicing in General - mixing together your own high fiber health shakeIBSMAX (herbal) or other IBS formulation (Dr. Dave has one.)hydrochloric acid suppliment or the opposite such as Zegrid or PepsidPAIN & ANXIETY:Motility RX drugsRelaxant drugs like Xanax or ValiumCodeine - also constipating!MorphineAcupuntureA Heating Pad or Hot Water BottleBiofeedbackANXIETY AND LACK OF APPETITE:THC/Marinol capsBACTERIAL OVERGROWTH/BAD BACTERIA OR A BUG:Antibiotics/anitmicrobials - many to choose from Rx onlyGrapefruit Seed ExtractGarlicPeppermint capsulesANTIFUNGALS:Nystatin or other RXCandex or other antifungal herbalCandida diet = very low carb, low sugarGarlicTO STOP GAS AND BLOATING:Small meals and frequent small mealsLow carbs and low sugar intakeGas-XPepto BismolProbotics without FOSIBS-MAX (herbal)Baking Soda in waterNo dairyAvoid: caffine, high fat/fried foods, sugars, coffee, pop and alcohol. Although someone got relief from Pepsi - go figure. They also say avoid spicy foods but I get relief from cayenne pepper. In fact, every night I eat a hard boiled egg drenched in cayenne pepper and fresh crushed garlic followed by a glass of aloe juice mixed with Glutamine powder and my night sweats have finally stopped and I awake hungry. (Now, that's a strange combo.)I know there are many, many more options. Hope this gives you some idea that you have a lot to pick from and no two people seem to get relief the same way. Most people find some combination helps them to carry on. Good luck with your CT and wedding! There are these things called "Shreddies" which can help in case of an accident/bad gas. http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&rlz...ies&aqi=g10


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## Glenda (Aug 15, 2000)

I remember on my honeymoon , that was way before I was diagnosed with IBS-D , we were at a Hotel and I felt really ill and rushed to the bathroom , I didn't make it , I passed out , and went "D" all over the bathroom floor ,and fell into the bath tub head first.My husband rushed in , and stepped in it , and saw me passed out in the tub. Boy did I scare the hell out of him , he picked me up out of the tub , and carried me to the bed , and then came in a mopped up (Cleaned) the floor.That musta been true love for a spouse to do that.You'll do just fine on your wedding. Just eat lite for afew days prior , no trigger foods.


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## bride2be (Jul 31, 2009)

Hester and thank you very much for the info. I have tried most of the things you've listed, as far as antibiotics I've been on a few strong courses of zifaxin and flagyl, neither seemed to help. I haven't tried tetracycline - that sounds like it's worth a shot. I've been through all the elimination diets, except for gluten/wheat free which i am thinking of trying.After medical doctors tried everything they knew to try, I started seeing someone who practices alternative medicine. I was on an intense course of ALL sorts of natural remedies and i had to take several pills every 2 hours for a month -- some anti parasitic medicines, probiotics, peppermint oil, and things of that sort. And I ate so much yogurt to replenish my good gut bacteria, but I couldn't see a difference. I have also had acupuncture, a detox bath that takes all of the toxins in your body out through the feet, color therapy, and several other treatments. I've been drinking alot of tea lately, milk thistle, chamomile, peppermint, lavender tea to help me relax. It seems to soothe my tummy a little but it doesn't phase the D. I've also been on a course of Nexium (40mg) and that seems to help the most out of every medicine i've tried!My CT was normal - and my general practitioner reffered me to another GI doctor. I saw him today and he seems to be great, he didn't dismiss me as "just having IBS" and he really took me seriously.. that hasn't been my experience with doctors in the past. He did a blood test that can diagnose IBD like Crohn's and UC just to be sure those aren't the problem. Next week I'll be having my 3rd colonoscopy and upper scope, I am keeping my fingers crossed that they may find something. He also suggested a shot that will slow down diarrhea (I cant recall the name) and I'm having that done next week. I'm a little wary about repeating the colonoscopy, but maybe the biopsies will come back and show something this time. Since it's been about 3 years since my last one the doctor said things could have changed by now and I may have IBD or inflammation that needs to be addressed.As for the wedding, I booked reservations for a ceremony room and a reception room at a hotel close to my home. It's about 5-10 mins from where I live so I don't have to worry about making a long trip! I am planning to get a suite the night before and day of the wedding, on the first floor, so i can get ready there and not have to worry about leaving my house in my wedding dress and needing to run into a gas station to use the toilet! I was really nervous about going to bridal boutiques and trying on dresses but I went last week and did just fine... what a relief.I'm actually more excited now than nervous about the wedding. My mother has taken over most of the planning so all I need to do is find a dress and show up, that is such a HUGE relief







Thanks again for the information, I will let you guys know if the injection works next week. *crosses fingers*


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## nervoustum (Jul 22, 2010)

Oh my goodness. Thank you for putting all of my wedding day worries into words. I am guessing that by now you've gotten married. If you ever see this, I'm curious how it all went and what you did to manage the D. It just makes me feel so much better to know that I'm not the only one who worries about running out of the ceremony to go to the bathroom. (The image of bride in gown at gas station is also one I can relate to.)


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## Siea (Jun 21, 2010)

Hester said:


> TO STOP DIARRHEArobotics without FOS


What is FOS?I am going to try probiotics but I have to know what this FOS is so I get the right thing.Thank you.


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