# Online dating? :O



## rockingirl (Jan 10, 2008)

Just curious if anyone on here has much experience with online dating. I'm considering giving it a try finally, and was looking for any stories or advice. I've suffered with IBS since the end of college (about 5 years now) and during that time I really just stopped dating. I'd get asked out, but I'd always come up with some excuse. At this point I feel like maybe I could, but I'm not sure. I've always been someone who wants to be friends first with a guy, and it just seems like that's in no way possible meeting people online. My big issue is, my stomach gets nuts when I am anxious. Just thinking about online dating can make me feel sick







Even if I didn't have IBS, it's still something I probably would have tried since I work in a very female dominated field. Wow, this has gotten really incoherent!







Basically, I was wondering what you've done to try to get through it and somehow have an enjoyable time and avoid the bathroom.


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## SeanB (Dec 15, 2010)

I've personally never tried it,I haven't even tried dating, IBS/Bowel issues have gotten in the way







. I have, however, heard of people who have sucessfully found partners online. Nothing to lose by trying it. Anyways, sorry I can't be more help, just thought i'd post. Best of luck to you,


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## mania (Jul 29, 2010)

I met my girlfriend online, though not through internet dating.It made things a million times easier on me. We were able to talk and get to know each other without me having to worry about how my stomach looked or felt or sounded or even smelt. Not to mention I would have been a lot more anxious if we had met in real life first.Good luck, hope you find someone amazing like I did.


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## I B S SICK (Nov 2, 2010)

wow tricky somthing so easy ..just to hard with ibs hmmm


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## mini13 (Jan 7, 2008)

I tried online dating a number of years ago when my problems were just starting. However, I found for myself it was so nerve racking especially if you only communicate with the person a couple of times before meeting. My stomach would just be terrible. I gave up with it, just too nervous meeting them for the first time without getting a better idea of how they would react to me and my issues kinda thing. But if you can handle the intial nerves I know it has worked for a number of my friends, and they are quite happy with their decision to go online.Good Luck!


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## kvx10GrandRapids (Apr 11, 2010)

Hello all,I am a 33 year old male and I am in the exact same situation. I am getting ready to try an online dating service but I just can't finish my profile because I am too afraid







The website keeps sending me matches in my area which is even more painful. I find this disorder very socially isolating. I often get depressed and just want to avoid people. I have a hard time explaining to people that I can't have any gluten or dairy and I also have to avoid this or that. I hear your pain and would appreciate any advice someone could give me.Btw, are there any IBS support groups in the Michigan area?


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## sadbelly83 (Feb 2, 2011)

I find this disorder very socially isolating too, but I just wanted to say, go ahead and make your online dating profile!! It's a fun way to flirt and talk to people and it will help your confidence and self-esteem... a little break away from this problem! Then when it comes time to actually meet someone, well, the reason we're all here is that it's apt to scare the ###### out of you. And is sucks. And I don't know how to fix it... I am suffering with that too. But lately I just keep telling myself, it's better to struggle through being social even when it can be a nightmare than to hide from the world and believe that people can't possibly be understanding. I'm trying my best to surround myself with people that I genuinely like, people who seem compassionate and intelligent. My hope is that I will get better starting NOW but if that's not possible, that I will suffer in the company of loving people -- which sounds better to me than all alone.When it comes to romance and dating, it throws a whole 'nother element on, because this problem is embarassing and we fear becoming unattractive if we're honest. For me, I've tried my best to just CLAIM the personal time I need when I need it. Yes, I may feel urgency and panic, but I try to just say "will you excuse me for a moment?" and then lock the door, run the water, and hope for the best. What else can we do, people? We're only human.Good luck to all. <3


kvx10GrandRapids said:


> Hello all,I am a 33 year old male and I am in the exact same situation. I am getting ready to try an online dating service but I just can't finish my profile because I am too afraid
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## sadbelly83 (Feb 2, 2011)

Hey Rockingirl,I'm a 27/f who can relate to your entry here. I've been dating someone I first met through a dating service 6 months ago, and I'm struggling to keep our relationship going strong even though it's hard for me to do things like stay over his house, etc. Since you said "avoid the bathroom" I just wanted to chime in that when I have REALLY "important" social plans (like a first date, or sometimes spending the night at his house) I might consider taking Immodium so I can try to avoid the bathroom all together. My gastrointerologist said that it's not good to take it all the time though, because it can cause a backlash on the other end (symptoms basically catching up to you when it wears off). Other than that, taking deep breaths, peppermint and fennel tea, ginger root, Altoids, and trying to control the nerves and worrying... these are the things I use and do... And if they worked like a charm, then I wouldn't be here!!! Dating's a scary thing, but DON'T LET THIS STOP YOU!!!Best of luck in life and love. <3


rockingirl said:


> Just curious if anyone on here has much experience with online dating. I'm considering giving it a try finally, and was looking for any stories or advice. I've suffered with IBS since the end of college (about 5 years now) and during that time I really just stopped dating. I'd get asked out, but I'd always come up with some excuse. At this point I feel like maybe I could, but I'm not sure. I've always been someone who wants to be friends first with a guy, and it just seems like that's in no way possible meeting people online. My big issue is, my stomach gets nuts when I am anxious. Just thinking about online dating can make me feel sick
> 
> 
> 
> ...


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## rockingirl (Jan 10, 2008)

So I joined, but haven't met face to face with anyone yet. It's so frustrating reading all the profiles and all the stuff they enjoy doing, like traveling, eating out, etc. Ugh. I'd enjoy that too if I didn't have IBS to deal with!







I kinda structured mine like I'm more into doing stuff outside and am not into bars/clubs. It's annoying though, because I used to be very adventurous and always up for a random trip somewhere. I guess when I DO finally meet someone in person, I'll just take more Immodium (I already take one or two a day).


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## cw_2009 (Apr 10, 2005)

someone should set up a dating section of the ibsgroup lol


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## rockingirl (Jan 10, 2008)

Well, I got one over with! It was a pretty lame date, and we will not be having a second one, but I can say that IBS did not play into it







I took two Immodium in the morning, then one around lunchtime and one before I headed out. I also avoided caffeine after my morning coffee so I wouldn't add it to my nerves. My stomach did still bother me, but in a super nervous way. It did eventually go away. I think I was less nervous though after I was a few minutes into the date and already knew we weren't clicking


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