# Don't feel like sex when I am in pain



## 14876 (Dec 2, 2005)

Hi, I am new here, looked around and could not see a similar discussion- so I start one.I think I am relatively lucky not to be entirely sick from my IBS - I go on living a 'normal life', modifying some things, but not radically different.The biggest effect of my IBS as I see it, is in relation to my husband - I simply have a difficult time wanting sex when I feel bad and have pain. I am, rather unwillingly, living up to the typical womens stereotype, not wanting sex, just that my excuse is stomach ache, not head ache.At times I also have a fear that I will fart and thereby destroying the sensuality. I am open about this with him, and he very kindly says that 'If you fart, it does not matter', but to me it matters...I did not have a sex life before my IBS, so I cannot compare. But I do not believe that I have less desires than average.


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## 21418 (Nov 21, 2005)

I myself went through a bout of depression and had a server case of lack of wanting sex. I had NO sex drive. I think a lot of it for me was in my head. Of course when you are in pain, you don't want to have it. And not only was I having pain but I felt self-conscious b/c I was bloaty. My bf now has no problem with me leaving my top on to "hide" my expanding tummy. He says it actually adds to the excitement of knowing but not seeing what's underneath! But I do take advantage of the times where I feel "normal". I can't tell you how I got over the lack of sex drive but I think it does have to do with how you perceive yourself. If you feel sexy, then you will more then likely want to have sex with your partner. It sounds like he is very understanding and patient with you. I have had the farting during sex incident a couple of times myself (and recently) and we just continued after we had a chuckle for a split second but then quickly forgot about it! I think it's awesome that you can openly talk to your partner about this.


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## kazzy3 (Apr 11, 2003)

It is fantastic that you can be open with your partner. It is also perfectly natural not to have any desire for sex while you are in pain. You have to do what feels comfortable for you. You might try some peppermint tea or capsules when you are in pain, some people have said that this works. Is this available in Sweden? It might be worth looking into. Take care of yourself and keep the lines of communication open between you and your partner. Best of luck to you.


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## NancyCat (Jul 16, 1999)

There is nothing unusual at least for me to not feel like sex while in the throws of IBS. For many reasons, especially that I tend to get UTI's which cause me to have to take antibiotics, which = IBS hell, I'm not into sex as much as I was when I was younger. My husband of over 20 yrs is often frustrated by may lack of desire, but I try to please him in ways that wont cause trouble for me. I'm working on this phobia I have about antibiotics but unfortunately I havent made much progress. My best to you.


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## 21918 (May 16, 2005)

Nancy--Have you tried taking 2-4 cranbery capsules after sex? They are a good way to prevent UTIs.Also, be sure to empty your bladder immediately after sex.


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