# My (Never-ending) IBS Story



## olivia9 (Aug 12, 2017)

I type this at 5 in the morning, because I have been up all night running back and forth to the bathroom.

I'm Olivia, I am 18 years old and was diagnosed with IBS at the age of 14. I used to be able to eat pizza and drink chocolate milk and have coffee and wear tight-waisted pants, and not care about anything. Now, I would miss a day a week of school from being stuck on the toilet. I missed work enough that my boss asked me to get a doctor's note. I cancel on everyone all the time. I can't commit to anything because who knows when I will have a flare up. I missed my family Christmas celebration because of my IBS. I hate being further than 10 minutes from my home because who knows when something will happen. Tight waisted pants cause more abdominal discomfort and pressure that I don't need, so I stick to loose sweatpants.

What gets to me the most is that I am only 18 years old. I've already had hernias and ulcers, and my IBS destroys so much of my life, but why now? Why can't I go and drink and eat pizza with my friends at parties? My IBS takes something away from my life, and my IBS sucks. It feels hopeless because my doctor doesn't take me seriously and there is zero treatment plan, other than my home remedies of pepto-bismol and my heating pad.

I don't know what I am expecting by putting this all out there. Maybe I needed to vent, maybe I need to know I am not alone. I don't know any other person with IBS, it would be nice to know at least someone understands how hard this can be.


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## VikaPlume (Aug 13, 2017)

I haven't had IBS for as long as you, but I completely get where you are coming from. It is so incredibly demeaning to be this sick and offered zero help by the medical community. I know other people who have IBS, but it is clearly not the same kind i have because they say things to me like "Oh, I have IBS too! I used to have diarrhoea two or three times a day until I started taking Metamucil and probiotics, but now I only have bowel mouvements one or two times a day and diarrhoea rarely" and I'm sitting there thinking "well that's great for you but I have diarrhoea 15 times a day and Metamucil only made that number much higher, so we must have different types of IBS". And that just make it worse because other people expect your IBS to be the same so they don't understand when you can't go out because you've been living in your bathroom so long you are thinking of having a tv installed in there. Clearly more research needs to be done so that we can understand what actually causes IBS and treat the cause rather than trying to just brush off sufferers.


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## helpme68 (Aug 13, 2017)

I remember running home from school many times out of fear that I wouldn't make it, and many times I wouldn't and that was when I was 15. My 6 year old sister knew what happened she would threaten to tell our parents and out of shame and fear of getting in trouble I did whatever she wanted. Other times I would feel like I was going to get sick and vomit that's when those panic attacks came on as well as the migraines which sometimes caused me to get sick.

I believe that I have been everywhere where IBS flares up like picnics, amusement parks, on vacations, school, work, and even at church where I got sick. School I believe was the worst because I was bullied a lot and teachers wouldn't understand. The most embarrassing time was in 2009 I went to a picnic and my God I thought I was going to die the cramping, bloating, and the agonizing pain made me act frantic so that I didn't know where to go or what to do. Even though my mother lives with me she doesn't understand unlike my grandparents would did understand. So you could say that close to 40 years I've suffered. I don't eat like I used to always afraid I'm going to have a accident or end up with bouts of vomiting up to 20 times a day.
I'm so worried about what people think of me and have never had a social life, never been on a date for fear that the girl would judge me, even if we were friends I just couldn't go anywhere.

My doctor takes this very lightly and has even told me he wants me to see a psychiatrist because as he says it's all in my head. My heart goes out to you having IBS is like a prison sentence you find yourself isolated and alone cause nobody really wants to be around you and they make you feel ashamed. Please keep positive if you can and I hope you find some relief, but I do totally get what you going through.


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## Wanderlust_1986 (Aug 15, 2017)

Dear olivia9

It has been a while since I have looked thought IBS sites and forums but tonight I found your thread and it made my heart hurt.

I have been where you are and I know exactly how you feel. I have been 'caught short' and wanting the world to swallow me up for the shame and embarrassment I have felt. I have been the girl that has dived into a field at night because she can't make it to the nearest loo. I know the feeling so well that you feel like you are missing out and watching life pass you by as you quite literally sit on the toilet and wait for time to pass.

But I also want to tell you that I have also been the girl that has travelled the world (twice) I have stood on the great wall of china with no toilet in sight! I have swam with turtles and done some amazing things all with my IBS. And it wasn't until tonight reading your message that I remember I am not alone with my IBS and the emotions I still feel. And I wanted so much to tell you... YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

I am not cured and I have some terrible days still and accidents that cause me to cry and scream and get mad at the world. I can't tell you what the magical answer is. Other than keep going and keep holding your head up high. You can live with this and you will have good days and when you do they will be all the more sweeter. One day you will be on this forum telling someone who is the younger you, of the things you did even though you have IBS which at times rules your life.

You are not alone. There are millions of us out there just a lot of us hide in the 'dark place' as I like to call it with this debilitating condition. But it does not define you. Please don't let it. You are so much more and will be so much more. There are a millions of techniques and many might not work for you but keep trying and keep going. Talk to people don't do what I did and make it a taboo subject that then isolates you all the more. Next time you feel like it is only you, read more of these stories and you will see you are never alone.

Sending love from one fellow IBS girl to another.

xxx


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