# Any Advice?



## 13762 (Sep 13, 2006)

Hi,I have been suffering with IBS for four years now. I have noticed my nerves and anixety increasing over the past four years. I have gotten to the point where I can't go out very much anymore. The only places I'm comfortable is my apartment, work, and at home in CA. The moment I leave my apartment to go anywhere I've never been to, my stomach starts acting up and soon enough I'm telling my boyfriend to turn around and we can try again the next day. I hate doing so many things now that I use to love doing...I can't go shopping for very long (I have no patience to look around), I can't travel very well, I can't go hiking...I can't do anything if there isn't a bathroom around that I'm comfortable in (which there are very few places that meet my requirments). I've tried so much so I can go out again. I've tried not eating out and either eating very little or nothing before I leave my apartment. I've tried convincing myself its all in my head and give myself little talks to calm my nerves. I don't know what else to try...I think in the past year I've had maybe a handful of "good" days where I actually went out and had a great time with no problems. I am going to see a therapist next week, because I can't handle how my nerves and stomach have taken all the control and fun out of my life. Does anyone have any advice with how to control nerves before going anywhere? I would like to get my life back and enjoy living again!!


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## Screamer (Aug 16, 2005)

Hi. I don't have any advice for the moment but just wanted to say I can certainly empathise. I've been pretty much going through the same thing the last couple of months and it keeps getting worse. I get in the car and get to where I'm going relatively okay but as soon as I park the car I start to panic. Even on good days when I was feeling okay at home! I've tried all the relaxation techniques I know, I've tried telling myself that I'll be fine and I've tried well...everything I know of. It's very frustrating and I'm finding myself feeling sadder and sadder. I don't want to be stuck in my house!The only thing I can come up with is a visit to my doctor, however I'm not sure how much help he'll be. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know you are not alone in feeling like this. It's awful


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## BQ (May 22, 2000)

SandraK,It is great that you will be seeing a therapist soon. That is a start. And do not be dismayed if you have to road test a few therapists to find one you are comfortable with.I'm a severe D type (dx'd in 1989)and I go out all the time. I kinda have to.. lol I'm a Mom of a preteen and a full fledged teen. I can eat before I go out and I can eat out. I use imodium before I leave and before I eat. I also use an antispasmodic med (Levsin). I eat low fat because I have IBS (and also because I have no Gall Bladder anymore). I also use relaxation techniques and good thinking.But as I have gone out more & more... I think more positively. Every time I went out and had no problems.. I began to have more confidence and less worry. I do not like having to rely on meds or watching my diet closely.. but?? I do not like the alternative to not doing those things... more.I have IBS but my intention is for it NOT to have me.I do not _project or predict_ having problems when I go out. I expect _no_ problems. But I plan for them instead. Before an outing.. I watch even more closely what I eat, perhaps for a few days leading up to it. I make sure I _do_ eat because I learned that skipping meals and under-eating leads to more D. I sometimes will look up where restrooms may be found near where I am going, ahead of time. I sometimes bring extra clothes, wipes and "protection". (I rarely have had to use them.....And I remind myself of that.)With each succesful outing I gain more and more confidence and that confidence continues to build with each attempt I make at going out "anyway".Yes, there are times when I must skip certain events. But when I look at the big picture.. those times are in the minority. And I have a grateful heart.I cannot die from IBS and I am grateful for that too.I tell the pre-going out jitters to take a hike.. I am prepared IF I happen to have a problem but I no longer expect to have one every time I leave the house.I think the more I go out and not have any problems, the better I get.Like a wise friend here told me years ago.. positive breeds positive and I am here to tell you I am living proof.This took me some time, so be patient with yourself and your gut... but don't give up.







BQ


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## 13762 (Sep 13, 2006)

BQ,Thank you so much for the advice. It helps so much to know someone has been successful with controling IBS!! I will try your methods...it will take time, but I'm determined to take control of IBS!! Thank you again!! I'll keep you updated!!


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## 14448 (Jun 14, 2006)

BQ, your story is v.inspiring. I have a big anxiety problem and am just starting to tackle it with a self-devised CBT plan (can't get CBT on NHS here and I can't afford to go private). Sandrakay, I really identify with you. I feel as if IBS and fear is strangling my life. A few weeks ago I couldn't even leave my flat without taking a big dose of benzos or vodka.My problems started when I came to uni 3 years ago. I've had IBS-d all my life, but it got v.bad, with d every day, and I stopped going out- my life became a miserable scuttle between lectures, the supermarket and my room. Because of this I stopped interacting with people, and didn't make any friends (though by a weird, lucky coincidence, I met my boyfriend at this time!) Every time I went out I just wanted to creep back to my room. In my hometown, I knew where all the toilets were, and I had childhood friends surrounding me, but here I was alone. My anxiety was like big black mountains springing up everywhere- shopping was a trial, social events with my boyfriend nightmareish, even walking down the street I'd feel terrified. Avoidance seemed the only option, yet the more I tried to weave around the mountains, the bigger they became, and new ones sprang up- eg. to start with I felt safe in my bf's shared student house, then I got nervous there, and soon I was afraid to stay the night there.Over the last year I've tried everything I can get my hands on- diazepam, clonazepam, ativan, buspirone, propranolol, vodka. I was desperate to rid myself of the fear that was dictating my life.Two weeks ago, at my lowest point, I did loads of research and constructed my own CBT plan. Basically, you have to identify what triggers your anxiety, eg. make a list of the places/situations you try to avoid. Then, with the help of flashcards, disasociation techniques and the knowledge that you are doing 'exposure therapy', you face them for 3 hours each day. You can either jump in at the deep end or work your way up from the shallow end, they say the result is the same. I started at the shallow end. My first exposure task was to walk 20 mins into town and go into 3 shops. I thought I was going to faint the first time, and I was shaking so much I could hardly walk. But I did it, and repeated it every day for 2 weeks, and each time it got easier. Now I'm starting to enjoy shopping again. I'm able to go to the gym again. I can get a train to see my friend without needing to take 20mg clonazepam. I'm planning to go (un-intoxicated)to social events when the uni term starts. I'm hoping that the more exposure sessions I do and the more fears I tackle, the more bits of my life I will be able to get back. I know it's going to be a long struggle, but I feel I have some control again.


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## overitnow (Nov 25, 2001)

I guess my advice is, like BQ said on another thread, to just keep trying things that have worked for others until you find something that either controls or eliminates the symptoms, such that you can expect success in your day to day life.In my case I found a supplement that has stopped this, allowing me to venture into almost anything without preparing for bowel problems. Others have had great success with hypno, Caltrate, IBSacol, Digestive Advantage, etc etc. Since there is no way of knowing what will work for you until you have tried these things, having some sort of logical plan for working your way through them just makes sense.Good luck. It is worth the effort _and then some!_ Mark


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## Noremacam (Sep 12, 2006)

The best advice for managing situational anxiety(IE, a certain place/time/action triggers an attack, as opposed to less controllable triggers like ibs pain, nausea, etc) is by distraction. Seriously. I defeated panic disorder when I was 17 by this method.Anxiety attacks work by repeating a cycle - you worry about having anxiety, and then you feel a hint of that anxiety as a result of that worry. That then increases your worry until you're so focused on your anxiety it spirals out of control. _When you're not thinking about yourself or your anxiety, you are starving your anxiety._Here's some things I try, as an example. Before you do something that will make you nervous, try thinking about someone you know who is having trouble - any kind of trouble. It doesn't matter if that person put themselves in that trouble or if it's just bad luck on their part. While you're doing your activity(like driving, etc), consistently focus on ways to help that person. Or think of what you would do if you were that person.Another thing that works for me(and I hope not only me) is to think about something I feel strongly about. I hold very strong scientific, political, and theological views. I'm constantly thinking of ways I can spread my "faith" to others. Sometimes I imagine myself in a debates with people just to think about what I'd say and how I'd say it. Think of something you feel strongly about and how you could explain your view(s) to others.These are just examples; perhaps you can think of more. The point is, is when you're not focused on your worries or how you feel, or your anxiety - you starve your anxiety. Your anxiety is _not_ capable of becoming a full blown attack unless you're focused on your anxiety. Learning distraction takes practice, and it's massively harder when you suffer with ibs and you feel yucky a lot of the time, but it does work. Distraction eventually becomes second nature.


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## SJ1985 (Apr 1, 2006)

I'm sure it's all related to anxiety in different ways for different people.Here's something interesting, although I get anxious/nervous worrying about the pain (particularly since I still haven't had an ultrasound or x-ray or anything), other than that my general anxiety has gone away since I've had IBS.I used to be a rediculously anxious, nervous person and was afraid to do and say a lot of things. Recently I am insanely confident and other than the pains, nothing seems to be able to get me down or worry me anymore. It's almost as if I've 'traded' my anxiety for my IBS.Sometimes I think that my brain has stopped worrying and so my gut has decided to do it for me.


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