# your opinion



## 20422 (May 10, 2006)

Someone I know doesn't know I have Ibs and that it is, very severe. He was implying that I should 'never depend on anyone else' and it made me feel bad. Is he right? should I be on my own two feet yet, or is it an acceptable excuse that I have IBS? I just have a hard time working and going to school and NO ONE seems to understand that. It even makes me feel like I'm an underachiever, which in reality, that is just NOT TRUE! I feel like I"m being lazy but it's really because of my condition. THeir attitudes towar me starts to affect me! I'm 23 and it's hard to see other people my age achieving things while I"m still here at my parents of all places off and on again.. maybe i should just get disability.


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## KittyKat12 (Jul 16, 2006)

I think that a support network is very important when trying to heal or deal with any illness. Family and friends and such can be very important.When I was first having problems and trying to find a diagnosis, it was very difficult to go from a life of freedom to a feeling of helplessness.In my opinion, it is not being lazy. It is trying to deal the best way possible with a bad situation. Overall, you need to do what is best for you and makes you feel the most comfortable. Hopefully, it will get to the point where you can start making steps toward where you want to be in other areas of your life. Hang in there!


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## 22943 (Aug 27, 2005)

Disability can't be recieved just for having IBS, there has to be another condition that fits the criteria. Do what you can do, don't do what you can't, try not to worry about what other people think. Sometimes you have to depend on someone else for other things, but really, life is more fulfilling when you try to do things yourself. Maybe you need to make a choice, either school or work if you can't do both at the same time. Finish one, then move on to the other. there are loans out there and other means of financial support if you want it. People are always going to be achieving things, that's the way life is. I watch a lot of people around me do the things I've always wanted to do, but that's life. Find your own thing and achieve at that.


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## Kathleen M. (Nov 16, 1999)

FWIW that "everyone should be able to go it alone and tough anything out" routine will eventually bite them on the butt. Sooner or later those that think they are so much better than everyone else because they don't ever depend on anyone for anything will end up in a situation where they cannot go it alone.Only you know what is best for you and what you need right now. Do not let other people drag you down, or tell you that you must do it their way or else. They do not have to understand, but you should require they stop making you feel bad for choosing what is best for you. They make their own choices and that is fine for them. What is right for one person is not the one and only answer for every person.Just my two cents.K.


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## 22597 (Jul 12, 2006)

justshootme, it's easy for people with no chronic health problems to say things like that. But when someone such as yourself has a debilitating condition that significantly affects the daily routine, all those platitudes go out the window. They're meaningless. The truth is, everyone should have a support system whether they are healthy or sick. Refusing to depend on anyone else is a very lonely (and dangerous) road. And you are NOT being lazy! I get guilt-trips at the drop of a hat, but I know this is very damaging to my IBS and my self-esteem in general so I am trying to give myself more slack. I recommend you do the same. It is frustrating, but we IBS sufferers do have limitations. Just because a healthy person can do A, B and C all at once doesn't mean an IBS sufferer can. And that is OK. You need to do whatever is necessary to take care of yourself.Oh, and I understand your frustration about watching everyone else achieving things. I am in my late twenties and because of health/financial problems was not able to move out of my parents' house until just this year!! A few years ago I lost my job because my IBS got so bad and I was unemployed for 6 months while trying to recover and look for another job. Yes, it was embarrassing to still be living with my parents, but I am so thankful they were willing and able to help me with expenses when I needed it. Don't give up! Better days will follow if you just hang in there. I really do feel for you.


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## 14448 (Jun 14, 2006)

I wonder if the person would have told you to 'stand on your own two feet' if he'd known you have IBS?While I don't think IBS is an excuse for depending on someone else, it is definately a reason to put your health first and to look after yourself v.carefully. I'm 21, a student, and am working full-time in a summer job. I spend the days sitting at my desk in pain, longing for October when I give up my job and return to studying. I've resolved never to do a 9-5 office job again, or ANY job that makes me feel like this. Life is short and there's no point spending it in misery because u r trying to live up to people's expectations.


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## 20422 (May 10, 2006)

thanks for the support and info everyone. accidentgirl, I am glad for that information because i also supposedly have BPD, so this could really help me. I read on here somehwere that ibs is considered a disablitiy in washington state, but who knows... Thanks alyson h. , I'm really glad you know what i'm going through! again, i'm very glad for all of your responses, it's just that sometimes i need reassurance because otherwise i just feel like everyone else is right! even my own boyfriend who tries to understand doesn't really understand when i can't come up with my end of the monetary bargain. it's just tough.


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## 21856 (Jul 31, 2006)

No one really understands ibs unless they experienced it themselves. I've had ibs for 3 years and it has been hard even going outside/going to school. I just tried to live with it and not care what people think. Even though they make comments and hold their noses whenevever I am around them. Just live your life as you would if u didn't have ibs.


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