# what else can I do to help myself?



## Guest (May 23, 2001)

this may be a long one.... well, I'm in tears having tried to explain to my husband how I feel but he doesn't seem to understand. I need to find a job but am having real difficulties with interviews (and worrying about how I will cope when I do go back to work - have been off for 2 months now). My husband thinks that I have to face my fears and that the more interviews I do, the less stressed I will be about them. As far as I'm concerned this is just putting myself in a situation where I know I will panic and this will lead to D. As for when I am working, I know from experience that I am battling with IBS on a daily basis. He doesn't seem to understand that it won't just go away. (He said "if you break your leg then of course you'll be wary when you first play football again, but you soon get used to it") !!!If I didn't have IBS I would be at work right now. If only it were that easy. I can't relax when I have to be in a room with other people as my body instantly switches onto overdrive. I've avoided medication but am beginning to think it could be the answer for me. I certainly am depressed by it all. Has anybody else felt similar to me and found anti-anxiety meds of any help? I am worried about taking them and then finding that I still experience D in those situations. Or can it help me? If I'm on my own it's never a problem and I suppose I'm lucky that I never experience pain with IBS, its just the urgency and Caltrate and Immodium just cannot combat it. My gut always seems to be onto them, it's like "ha ha did you think you could stop me???". I just feel so desperate right now. I am of course continuing with my hypnotherapy tapes. And in case anyone mentions the "fight or flight" and practising telling myself that the situation isn't that bad, everytime I try that my mind works against me and keeps my focus on my worries no matter how hard I try to ignore it. Can anyone tell me if they have found CBT to help in my situation. How many sessions did you need? And what does a typical session involve?Please help me out of this miserable pit.


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## wanderingstar (Dec 1, 1999)

Hi stressibs. 'Fraid I don't have any info about CBT, but I think kmottus does.Anti-anxiety medications may well help you deal with doing interviews and things. I know many people don't like to take medication, but it can be the most helpful thing!Have you considered working from home?tc,susan[This message has been edited by wanderingstar (edited 05-23-2001).]


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## AZmom1 (Dec 6, 1999)

Anti-anxiety meds (Xanax is my preference, but you may want to try one of the SSRIs) will help, but you still need to continue with the tapes. The tapes DO help with the urgency, the have for me. It took a while to develop IBS, and will take time to find what it takes to manage it.I know what you mean about talking to yourself, and this is really why hypnosis is so good. When we talk to ourselves consciously, such as "I feel fine," or "My IBS is under control," whatever it is you say to yourself, you don't really BELIEVE what you are saying. This is the conscious mind at work- it is the critical mind. Using hypnosis, we bypass the critical mind (through relaxation methods) to the subconscious, which believes EVERYTHING we tell it. The subconscious mind does not know the difference between truth or fiction, so it believes anything we tell it. This is why hypnosis is so successful, and so quick to help.CBT is useful as well. I did a course in CBT for stress and anxiety, before I knew I had IBS. It helped me to not be afraid of the symptoms, to downplay them, not build them up in my mind. I know what you mean about your mind working against you, but as I said, it doesn't believe what you are telling it, and it goes, "Oh Yeah...I'll show you..." CBT also helps to stop negative thoughts that lead to patterns, which become subconscious thought patterns.In other words, if you think "Oh my God, here comes another attack..." over and over again, this becomes a pattern and eventually becomes ingrained in the subconscious. The job of the subconscious is to protect us, and it thinks it's doing what we want it to do, since we think about IBS and its symptoms so much. Then, the longer we have IBS, the easier it is to trigger an attack. Just a twinge, or a passing thought of "What if..." can bring on an attack. Never fear, the hypnosis can help us to change these engrained thought patterns. Over the course of the tapes, our subC realizes we will be happier with the new thought patterns, and will allow the change to occur. That was probably more than you wanted to know, but as far as an anti-anxiety drug goes, do it. Talk to your Dr. I would go to a GI specialist in your area, because they are better informed as to which drugs will help anxiety as well as IBS.AZ[This message has been edited by AZmom1 (edited 05-23-2001).]


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## Guest (May 25, 2001)

After reading your post I felt that I understood what you are feeling. For many, many years, I tried to lead a ï¿½normalï¿½ life despite IBS as if I didnï¿½t have it. I worked - mostly part-time, traveled, went to all kinds of the kids event while they were growing up, entertained, went to club meetings etc. The whole time I was miserable, on pins and needles thinking I was going to have a D attack any minute. The few people who knew I had IBS didnï¿½t seem to understand how miserable and limiting IBS can be. The Dr.ï¿½s advice was just live with it, so I tried.The last time we moved I didnï¿½t go back to work, I quit trying to go places all the time, limited my travel, etc. In other words, I quit putting pressure on myself to be ï¿½normalï¿½. I went places alone and found I was actually much happier because I wasnï¿½t constantly worried about where a bathroom was and if I could make it in time and the embarrassment of having to rush there. I set boundaries on what I would and wouldnï¿½t do. Now with the help of Mike's tapes, and after several years of not pressuring myself, and with my husband at last understanding what IBS actually means to the sufferer, my life is totally different. I am gradually able to do things without personal distress that either I wasnï¿½t doing before or I did but was miserable all the time. I donï¿½t know the answer for you. I just want to say you are not alone in your feelings and am wishing that you will soon find whatever it is that works for you. Carney


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## eric (Jul 8, 1999)

Az and Carney, good posts.







Stressibs, It is good to go with the tapes I think ou will be surprize in the long run when your finnished.If you need some info for your husband to give to him let me know. Have you shown him Molly's brochure?It takess some time and practice in learning to control our thoughts and emotions especially with the IBS and it can be frustrating, but your are doing something and you deserve credit for that for sure.CBT can certainly help and so can meds even for the short run to get back on track. CBT Info. http://ibscrohns.about.com/health/ibscrohn...rms=cbt+and+IBS Try to keep your mind as occupied as possible for the most part, because distraction is a valuable tool with IBS.------------------Moderator of the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Anxiety and Hypnotherapy forumI work with Mike and the IBS Audio Program. www.ibshealth.com www.ibsaudioprogram.com


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## eric (Jul 8, 1999)

I just thought of something, are you falling asleep when you listen?------------------Moderator of the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Anxiety and Hypnotherapy forumI work with Mike and the IBS Audio Program. www.ibshealth.com www.ibsaudioprogram.com


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## eric (Jul 8, 1999)

Stressibs, next time your in a room like that and get nervous, picture the other people on the toilet.







------------------Moderator of the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Anxiety and Hypnotherapy forumI work with Mike and the IBS Audio Program. www.ibshealth.com www.ibsaudioprogram.com


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## Guest (May 26, 2001)

Thanks gang for the advice - I'll be sure to try the picturing them on the toilet one!!! That's a good one as laughing always releases the anxiety, it seems to sweep over all those worries. Mmmm, could be onto something here, maybe I just need to go through all these situations in fits of laughter. Would rather be known as the person who couldn't stop laughing than the smelly one who keeps rushing off to the loo!I'm going to make an appointment with the doc for a CBT referal, and then I'll see how I go with that before committing myself to any meds. (I know they can help, but I just rather would explore all other avenues first, stubborn I know!).Eric - yes I always fall asleep when I listen to the tapes. I'm somebody who never has a problem with sleeping. In fact I was really worried about just how much time I have been sleeping since I've been at home. But I think that that was probably the depression. So it didn't surprise me at all to find that I was drifting away so easily with the tapes. The second time I listened to side 3 I actually followed about 75% before drifting off, and really enjoyed the visualisation. The next few times I listened I made a conscious effort to stay awake as I thought it would be more beneficial, although I still drifted off. But then I've read on this site that it's perfectly normal to do so, and that your sub-conscious mind is still taking it all in. But would it be more beneficial to try to keep awake?Also, I listened to the tape (side 4) last night at 2am when I came back from a night out (suddenly thought "argh! my tape! must listen") I had had a few drinks during the night and drifted off straight away. Did I still benefit from this listening?!? Thanks again everyone, your support has really cheered me up! (the sunshine definitely helps too!)


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## kate-tn (Jun 14, 1999)

stressibs, I have a good friend in the Netherlands, who loved her 3 years with us in the US because of all our sunshine! Just a quick "I know exactly how you feel," about the husband who wants you to face all the high stress situations "to get over it", the concern about finding a new job, and the anxiety over anxiety. I don't have many answers, except that the tapes do help. As far as a med, I have been taking Buspar fro anxiety for several months, an older med that is virtually without side effects so it's worth a shot, and I do believe it helps the anxiety somewhat. I don't think it does much for the D, but it's one of those "it can't hurt" scripts. Hang in there.kate


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## AZmom1 (Dec 6, 1999)

If I'm not mistaken, I think Mike has a tape for family members of people with IBS. Maybe check out his website.AZ


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## cookies4marilyn (Jun 30, 2000)

Hi Stress! Don't worry about trying to stay awake or not. If you are thinking about trying to stay awake and you are not relaxed by doing so, then your concentration is on that (staying awake!) Just follow your natural body inclinations and don't worry about it. And yes, the subconscious mind gets it no matter what. AZ will tell you that, right AZ? She said she couldn't tell you one thing Mike said on those tapes, and she improved considerably after the completion of all the sessions. So do what is best for you. If you would rather not fall asleep, then change your listening time to the day, but be consistent and always do it at that time instead...As for the few drinks, don't worry. Many of the meds we are on have similar effects..the subconcsious still takes it in!!!And AZ is correct, Mike does have a recording called "IBS partner" for family members or friends to listen to educating them about what it is like to have IBS. I think it will be available again in the near future.Hope this helped a tad bit...Take care!


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