# How to keep the romance alive with IBS?



## 13430 (Apr 7, 2006)

I met "the one" in January 2005. At the end of September 2005 I got a Clostridium difficile infection and the symptoms never really went away despite treatment with Flagyl. We got engaged this January. After months of testing and feeling awful my doctor finally determined that I had IBS and not Crohn's or anything like that.For a month or so I seemed to be improving a bit, especially with the Demerol I was prescribed by a pain management doctor. Without it I would have been unable to leave the house which would definitely qualify me as the Least Fun Fiancee Ever. However, about a month ago my pain started getting worse. I was finally hospitalized and found out I had a relapse of the C. diff. I started treatment last week but for the past month I have barely been out of the house and am definitely not up for anything more intimate than snuggling together on the couch. My poor fiance has been so wonderful about all of this but I feel terrible that I am not the fiancee he deserves. I have been doing whatever intimate things I can (won't get too graphic here) but most of the time I just want to sleep.How do all of you keep the romance alive? My fiance and I still have a lot of fun together even at home. When I feel up to it I will cook us a nice dinner, we both love television and movies, and we have two hilarious cats who are an endless source of entertainment. We are getting a dog, too, as soon as we meet one that we click with. I am also hoping the dog will help ME, too. He/she will force me to get it together to go on a walk and will allow me to focus on something other than the pain. Hope it works!


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## SLBEL3 (Jun 1, 2000)

Hi hon. I know how you feel. For the longest time my hubby and I weren't intimate more than once every few months. He understands when I don't feel good enough for any intimacy. But on the days that I feel semi ok or even good I tell him I want to have fun with him that night. Sometimes it's in the middle of the day if I'm feeling good on his day off and the kids are gone. But other days where I am not feeling up to anything but sleep or relaxing I make sure he knows that although I love him tremendously he shouldn't get his hopes up, but then throughout the day we both make sure to hug and kiss now and then and tell eachother we love them, and hold hands going on a walk. makes us both feel loved and actually brings on a whole new level of intimacy between us that sex doesn't even touch. I think that if he truly loves you, and he obviously does or he wouldn't have stuck around this long, he will understand. Good luck and also welcome to the board!


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## kazzy3 (Apr 11, 2003)

Hi newsjunkie. It can be next to impossible to feel "in the mood" while in pain. It sounds like your guy is very understanding and that's cool. Give yourself some time to relax and deal with what's going on with you. Do little things that will keep you close and in tuned to each other and hopefully soon things will get better for you. You'll know when the time is right. Take care.


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## 17190 (Apr 1, 2006)

It is different for me in my marriage. Sex is a thing of the past for my husband and me because of his age and health, but we have a very good relationship. We enjoy each other as much as we can. We go places together, do things for fun and have a free and easy time. We have a quiet life and get along fine most of the time. What we have now is companionship and that has lasted for 23 years now. I really don't miss the physical part of our marriage and I don't think my husband does either. We just enjoy each others company now and that is the best thing of all.


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## 18829 (Mar 20, 2006)

well i posted something similar just last month 'total loss of libido'im only 26 and so not in the mood and the longer it goes on the worse you feel but it is alittle better knowing that other people feel the same there certainly is more to a good relationship than sex although it is great but for me its a bit like a good meal and night out they are few and far between so when i do its fantastic, id rahter think of it like that than the dishes something that needs done every night and after a while you hate doing itanother thing about the ibs and sex is if your c like me the bloatedness and lumpy belly dont help in making you feel sexy so rather than nice knicks and bras ive opted for babydolls


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## 18829 (Mar 20, 2006)

id love to hear from guy ibs sufferers and their veiws on relations as it seems to be mainly women sho are sharing their experiences


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## lkemerson (Feb 7, 2002)

geemel79,Some time ago, I read information and thoughts from both genders on the young adult forum. You may get some insight there.


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