# How do you deal with it?



## nighting-gale (Aug 6, 2009)

I'm 19. I was 'diagnosed' with IBS about 7 months ago now. It seems like it was a "well we can't find anything else, so it is IBS" diagnosis. As soon as the GI found out I have anxiety he shut down and wouldn't listen to a word I said. I think if that hadn't have come out, life would be different right now.Last fall I had to drop out of university because I couldn't get out of bed unless it was to go to the bathroom. I had to move back in with my parents, because I couldn't be alone. I stopped eating...I slept constantly...I vomited blood a few times, like a good fresh cup full at all once. Before they tested anything 3 health practitioners told me it was not from a burst blood vessel. It was just too much blood, and all at once like that...a blood vessel would leave streaks...then after they couldn't find anything they changed their tune. They went from extremely concerned about fresh blood from both ends at once, to thinking I was full of ####.I know this sounds really...winy and stuff but I'm just so tired of it and either I can't talk about it, or people don't understand. I am so embarassed that I cannot control my own body. That I can't be far from a bathroom, ever. That I don't even want to go to dinner at my grandparent's because I'm terrified of needing to disappear during dinner and everyone knowing why.I've moved out again, and had to lie and seem like a real diva to get the master bedroom in the condo, because it has a private bathroom. I can't tell my male roommates why I spend so much time alone.I start school again in September and I'm terrified. I need to find a job, and don't think I can. I hate lying to my employers about why I need to go to the bathroom, but I hate them knowing the truth even more. I've rather had my managers think I am anorexic then have them know I cannot control my bowels and eating scares me.I don't know what triggers my IBS. I eat relatively healthy, but that seems to make it worse. I cook most of my own food, I know whats in it, and I still can't figure out what triggers my flareups. I get so anxious about what I'm eating that I either stop eating completely, or can't stop eating because it just doesn't matter.I know it is a vicious cycle, I'm anxious about having a problem, and I have a problem because I'm anxious but I don't know what to do.I've been struggling with anxiety, severe depression, mild OCD and ADD since I was 15ish. And problems with my menstrual cycle since it started when I was 13. And just when I finally started to get all that under control, I starting having really bad IBS symptoms. I may have had minor ones before, that were attributed to anxiety (highschool...ugh). But really, my flareups happen when I am relaxed! And happy! And content!Everyone's just like "you're just nervous/anxious/etc" and I'm not! I can be out having a wonderful time with my mom and then it hits me. I can be having some nice quiet time with a book, and then have to run.I am just so sick of crying, and being afraid to go out anywhere. Of feeling this way. Its like as soon as I get one problem I'll have to manage for the rest of my life under control, another one pops up. And thats what these are. The mental problems are hereditary...I'll always have them. My mom has stomach problems, but she says they weren't really an issue until after she had kids. I haven't even gotten there yet!I don't know what to do anymore. Doctors don't help. Last time I asked my GP about having someone help me learn to deal with my problems, have someone guide me a bit and get me doing the right things, he screamed at me until I was bawling about how I had to fix my own problems. But I don't know what to do! I finally got up the nerve to ask for help learning how to, and I got screamed at.I just feel like there is no help. My antidepressants aren't doing much good lately, but all the other ones I've tried made my stomach really sick.I'm tired of feeling nauseous. Of being embarassed. Of being tired. Of having no control. Of life. How sad is that...I'm 19 and I'm tired of living.


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## evulienka (Jan 12, 2007)

Hi nighting-gale, I ´m really sorry about your situtation, seems like you´re going through really tough times right now. First of all, I´ve noticed you mentioned vomiting blood - now I´m definitely not a doctor but vomiting blood definitely doesn´t seem like an IBS symptom to me and there must be some underlying reason for that? People just don´t vomit blood out of nowhere and if your current doctors have nothing to say about that you might want to look around and find different doctors willing to help. To figure out your trigger foods you can start a food diary - you just write down everything you eat and how your stomach feels after that, you can even write down all the other things going on in your life, for example how many hours you slept, stressful situations, exams etc, there are so many things that can have an impact on your IBS symptoms. I know I have to get 8-9 hours of sleep every night, otherwise I´ll be tired and in pain the whole day. I´m a college student, too and sometimes it´s difficult to get enough sleep when you need to study/live in a busy dorm, but it ´s worth it. Having to get up early in the morning is a huge trigger for me, too - early mornings my bowels are bloated and really really painful - so there´s a big point here - NEVER take early morning classes in college, your stomach will hate it plus the early morning classes will basically drain your energy for the rest of the day. College is possible even with IBS - there are lots of college students here and lots of people who already graduated, so don´t give up hope, please. I myself have had lots of tough moments in college, due to IBS, but I´ve also stuggled with my courses, social life, living situation, anxiety and I could go on. I remember my freshman year I felt so bad about everything and I was so exhausted that most of the time I would just try to oversleep my symptoms or hide in my room. There were hundreds of times when I felt just like dropping out of college and moving back home, but here I am now, still alive, starting my third year in september - college years really do fly by, even if it doesn´t feel that way sometimes. I guess the only thing that kept me alive when I was at my worst were my wonderful roommates - it´s really important to create a social net in college - your rommates, classmates, people you meet in clubs,people in your dorms, whoever they are, the thing is they will be there for you when you hit a rough patch, when you feel lonely or sad or feel like dropping out. Sometimes just knowing there´s someone who cares about you makes a huge difference. I´m not the most sociable person obviously, I hardly ever go to parties because late nights I´m usually in lots of pains, but having a few good friends to hang out with or watch a movie or talk over a cup of tee can pretty much save your life in college. About your GP - he seems like every patient´s nightmare, whatever your problems are, he has no right to scream and yell at you - he´s there to help you not to scream at you how you should fix your own life. Would it be possible for you to find another GP, someone sympathetic and someone who doesn´t yell at their patients for having health problems?? I hope you can figure something out. I hope this helped a little and don´t forget that you can vent here anytime, there´s always someone willing to help and listen, that´s what we´re here for


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## nighting-gale (Aug 6, 2009)

I've had an endoscope, ultrasounds, upper GI study, small bowel followthrough, and more bloodwork than I care to remember. I think there was other stuff too, I've got some records, but he wouldn't give me all of them.There aren't really enough doctors to go around where I live, and when I was with my parents again, until a few days ago, its a small town. They will not let you switch doctors. This is Canada, money doesn't make a difference here and there are always too many patients and not enough doctors. They don't care.When they couldn't find answers for everything they went back on what they said, or said I was lying. I'm just at the point of being overwhelmed.I mean it would be different if it was one thing or another, but its just piling up to the point where I feel completely lost. All my work to learn to deal with my anxiety is just...breaking down. I was doing pretty good for a long time but this whole thing and all the stress...I visited a rheumatologist once. I go back in October...I have some signs of arthritis, and it runs in my family and starts young. But there was nothing concrete. I feel horrible when the weather is bad. I'll be sick for a day or two before a really bad storm. My mom and I think the air pressure and how damp, cold and rainy it is here makes everything worse. It does for my aunts and parents and grandparents...I guess it could just be early for me. I wonder if my headaches will go away if I lived somewhere different. I've had one going on six years now :/ Nothing in the tests though.Maybe thats why my doctor is like this with me. I understand why, I mean I feel the way I feel. But there is never anything they can see to make me feel the way I do.I could be normal for I know, but I always have an aching pressure in my head, that only gets worse sometimes. And my stomach turns at the thought of food half the time. A sip of water makes me gag. Other people don't live like that....do they?I know things aren't bad all the time, but I get to a low point where thats all I can see.If this is all in my head, how do I make it go away? Its just as bad or worse to try and figure out why my head is attacking my body, as my body attacking my body.I was a healthy kid until I got mono and started puberty a few years after...I wish I could have stayed that way forever.


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## LittleOne89 (Aug 7, 2009)

I'm sorry to hear you're having such a hard time with your symptoms







I've had IBS since I was a little kid years ago (I'm 19 now too) so luckily, I got to experience the whole doctors-not-believing-me thing when I was too young to really understand or care what they thought lol But now that I'm older and have learned what sparks my attacks and things like that, I've realized that there is a slight mental part to it. Stress is definitely one of my triggers. I guess it would be more of anxiety than stress because I work in a kitchen, so there's definitely lots of stress there. But it's controlled stress, stress that I'm used to. The type of mental triggers I'm talking about are change, or worrying about this or that. It's hard to deal with, especially when sometimes I'll get an attack, try to think of what I'm worrying about, or what I ate that would trigger it, anything that could have caused it, then realize 'well maybe I was stressed out over this, even though I wasn't really consciously thinking about it' Little things in the back of your mind that I guess take part in sparking IBS attacks.This may or may not be the same for you, your symptoms may be completely physical and only occur when you eat something in particular, or do something physical that would upset your stomach, but it's really important for you to figure out what those things are. And just because you've taken tests, don't rule out everything. I've been tested to see if I'm lactose intolerant, and the test came back negative, but I'm sensitive to dairy products, especially if I drink a class of milk or something. I can have a little bit and be fine, but if I drink a full glass or more, I'll be sick as a dog later on.When you learn what things bother your stomach, you can try to avoid them more easily. I hope you find out some positive information and that your symptoms let up a bit. It may seem like there's no hope, but there's always hope


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