# Can't shake the anxiety



## prplatt (Feb 1, 2003)

Okay, today I've had it.I am sick of fighting this anxiety.I'm tired of disappointing my kids by being unable to drive them and their friends places.I feel like a complete failure.My IBS hasn't even been that bad lately but I can't get the "what if" fears out of my head.I'm tired of pushing myself to do things I don't want to do and being afraid to do so many things. I am still doing Mike's tapes and only have about 30 days left.I've been on Lexapro for about 4 months...not much help there.And I just started on Buspar about 3 weeks ago.I have about 10 Xanax left(out of an original 15 prescribed to me in March) but really don't want to be living on that for the rest of my life.I feel like I'm out of hope for drugs,CBT, therapy whatever I try.I hate being so negative but today I just feel like I'll never get over this.I'm so tired of trying.Paula


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## trbell (Nov 1, 2000)

Your doctor might have the name of another CBT therapist? Sometimes tharapists and patients don't match.Bada


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## Guest (Jul 16, 2003)

I agree with Bada.... try again... just because one therapist didn't work doesn't mean that the next one won't.It sounds like maybe another evaluation might be in order. Just don't give up.... you will find something that works for you... often it takes a bit of time & patience to find the right combination of meds, therapists, relaxation therapies and other supportive components in our lives.I do know the feeling of wanting to give up....so I do understand where you are coming from. Here's Hug to help you through the storm....{{{{{  }}}}}Evie


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## bloomers (Apr 19, 1999)

Oh, Paula. First of all I can totally empathize with you. I have kids who want to be taken places too with their friends. I'm usually (well most of the time) okay with just my kids in the car, but add some friends in the mix and its high anxiety time. Sounds like you are trying all kinds of things so I really don't have advice to offer except to say that you are not alone and keep trying until you find something that works.Buspar can take up to 4-6 weeks to feel the affects so maybe there is still some hope there. Does your doc recommend taking Xanax at the same time? I never asked mine but still had some left from my perscription and would sometimes take a very low does (1/4 the regular dose) just to get through my high anxiety times. (((Hugs to you)))


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## Rowe2 (Sep 26, 2002)

Hang in there...be like the little locomotive traveling uphill...I think I can..I think I can... over and over and you will convince yourself you CAN!







Seriously, I have switched to Effexor and it has really helped with anxiety. Good Luck.


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## BQ (May 22, 2000)

(((PrPlatt)))Sorry you are having a rough patch. Been through the "What if's" ...... got the shirt...... know exactly whacha mean.Here is something I tried and seemed to help me.... I began to turn the what if's around. What if I don't have stomach trouble? What if I feel fine? I began to look at how many times I had left the house and nothing bad happened. Positive thoughts can breed more positive thoughts, and conversely, negative ones breed negative ones. I now have moved further down this road of IBS management and take it one step further. I _plan_ for problems but do NOT, any longer, _expect_ them. I expect to be ok instead of expecting problems. The planning changes depending on the event. Sometimes we may bring two cars to an event, sometimes I pack extra clothes, sometimes I eat very safe things before a long car ride, etc. But the single most important thing I do is probably think more positively. In the beginning when I first began to try to think more positively, I would say the words "I will be fine." but didn't necessarily 'feel' too fine and positive. So there _was_ some faking it til I make it, going on. But soon enough I was feeling little or no anxiety leaving the house. I also used some of the imagery from the tapes to make up my own calming statements which I would say to myself when I began to feel anything negative coming on. Taking a nice, deep, from my gut, breath helps me too sometimes. But do try not to beat yourself up over this. It isn't easy for any of us and we all have had days when we felt as you do. You WILL get there. You also might want to read this about mind armies again. They can be strong lil buggers.Click here: http://www.ibsgroup.org/cgi-local/ubbcgi/u...c;f=11;t=001341 Hang in there and go easy with you. Let us know how you are.BQ


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## earthgarden (Jun 3, 2003)

Could you try to do some exercise indoors. Exercise is known to help anxiety. You could perhaps try a yoga video at home? I am sure it would help you to have a more positive outlook. Wishing u well.


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## GailSusan (Dec 23, 2000)

Paula, I've suffered from Generalized Anxiety Disorder since I was a child. I can totally relate to your frustration. I am still battling GAD to this day and I'm now 50 years old. All I can say is that I don't think there is any one magic bullet for this. I'm not cured by any means, but I live a normal, productive life now and am able to work, travel, etc. If I had to name one thing that has helped me manage my anxiety above all else, I would say it was CBT. I was in therapy for a number of years and had to retrain my thoughts from looking at life as a "glass half full" to having a positive slant on life. The bonus has been no bouts of depression for over 30 years. You are right to be wary of Xanax, it is one of the most addictive substances ever known to man (harder to wean off of than heroin for many users). I've also found Mike's new CD "Towards Inner Peace" to be very helpful in allowing me to relax at night and fall asleep. It also seems to have a beneficial effect during the day. I'm a bit calmer. Good luck to you. Keep trying!


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## prplatt (Feb 1, 2003)

Thanks for all the replies and support, everyone. It really is helpful to know others have been where I'm at.My doctor just upped the Lexapro to 20 mg. I think I really did feel better a few years ago when I was on Effexor but I had an unfortunate side effect(no love life!)I guess maybe sometimes you have to make trade-offs.I have been exercising.I started running with my husband mainly because my cholesterol is up and I just started on Lipitor too.I run about 2 miles three times a week and walk for 30 minutes the other days.I am hoping that with Mike's tapes that I will just be one of those who notice more relief when I'm completely done with them.As to the CBT, the therapist I used to see moved to Hawaii and I miss her terribly. My new one is not as good so maybe I do need to keep looking.I just don't have the energy for it right now.It's such a long process finding someone you click with.Maybe when I am done with the tapes I will start looking.Anyway sorry this is so long. Just wanted to say thanks to everyone.I don't post much but I do read the forums regularly.Paula


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## BQ (May 22, 2000)

Paula, I think it is great that you are able to run at all.







And I am hoping that the adjustment with the Lexapro will help you. I have found it to be true that the Hypno does continue to help things even when one has been done with the program for quite awhile.I wish you much success in finding a CBT therapist. Good ones seem hard to come by huh? Don't give up, though cause I am sure they are out there. Wishing you continued success.







BQ


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## GailSusan (Dec 23, 2000)

Paula, I'm impressed with all that you are doing. I hope you see some results soon Yes, therapists who are good at CBT aren't easy to come by, but definitely worth pursuing. Don't give up.


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## AZMom (Oct 13, 1999)

First, there is nothing wrong with Xanax in low doses. My Dr. has me on it and says it is safe to be on forever. Used to be on Buspar, but the Dr. (previous Dr.) had me on too low a dose to be effective. Helps to have a good Doc.It's important to learn to talk to yourself in a positive way. This is what CBT should teach. You learn to recognize negative thoughts and turn them into positive ones. This takes time and practice. Keep with it.I'm glad to see you are doing Mike's tapes. They worked great for me. However, it takes time to change deeply imbedded thought patterns. Don't be so hard on yourself, your kids will understand and love you. You will improve, I can see how hard you're working on it.Watch what you say to yourself. No offense to my good buddy BQ, but do not say "I will feel better." Your subconscious mind thinks that sometime in the future I will feel better. Keep all positive self talk in the present. "I am comfortable, relaxed, peaceful in mind and body" is one I use a lot. Never use negatives when talking to yourself. "I will not have a panic attack." The subconscious mind does not recognize negatives such as "NOT" and it becomes "I will have a panic attack." I've done all sorts of therapies, CBT, biofeedback, seen a psychiatrist and several psychologists, and did hypno twice. It was Mike's tapes that did it for me. Learn about hypnosis and keep at it. It is easier and faster to change patterns of IBS in the subconscious (with hypno) than in the conscious (other therapies.)AZ


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## leefromnj (May 9, 2003)

funny. I've been "smuggling" Ativan from my mom (i don't take more than .5mg a day) which is nothing. I asked my Dr. for a script for it and she said no.


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## ruby333 (Aug 10, 2003)

If you can't find a good CBT, you might also want to try some books that specifically target different types of phobia/anxiety and/or generalized anxiety. It's a start, anyways. Good luck - you're not alone!


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