# IBS venting...



## Pixie Righ? (Dec 28, 2008)

Hi...my name is Rebekah...but...call me Pixie.I'm 17, and I've had IBS-C since I was around 8 or 9. I've been on every medicine for it, and nothing really helps it. There's this herbal supplement that helps, but even at that, it is still so painful. I think I may have developed an anxiety disorder from it, too, because now even if I can go, i know it will hurt, and i know it will bleed, and i get so scared that I just can't go. I hate it so much because it's so embarassing, and i feel like i'm surrounded by people who are normal-whose bodies work right-who can't possibly understand what it's like. I just feel so alone in it, and so frustrated. And to make matters worse, when I go to the bathroom finally, it's a bloody mess and it screws up the toilet and clogs everything up because my bowel has been stretched out from it since i was a kid.I think the worst part is some of the thoughts I get. I'm normally a cheerful person, but when i feel alone, frustrated, stuck and in a flare, it get so hard for me...and I can't pass anything...and i cry and get so angry, and I wish that I was inconsiderate enough to kill myself-- but I would only be trading my pain for everyone else's. I know I can't kill myself because other people need me, especially my mom since my only brother died last year. I can't do that to my family, but I was born with this defective organ...and i hate it. I hate feeling like I'm never going to get anything to pass, and worse, if my entire LIFE is going to be like this. It's so frustrating.I guess I'm just venting though. Preaching to the choir. I just don't know what to do...


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## smiley (Dec 28, 2004)

Hi Pixie! I'm Kalli!I can relate to your post so much that it almost feels like I wrote it.I have IBS-A. I don't feel like a teenager anymore. My IBS has taken that away. I sit up at night waiting for the pain to go away and just wish I felt any other way than this. While my friends are nice about it... I don't want to always be saying "No I can't go out. I'm feeling sick". so sometimes I just go and make sure we're in places with easy access to bathrooms. I'm at a loss with what to do with my life right now. Here I am a 17 year old girl who wants to be a doctor yet I feel -for lack of better phrasing- tied to the toilet. I've had IBS since I was about 10. Lifes gotta go on and I keep telling myself that. I wish there was some way to get rid of the IBS. I don't necessarily want to kill myself. I'm a little greedy I suppose and want to feel good so I can get on with my life. I have so many goals for my life yet when my "IBS attacks" strike, they don't seem worth it anymore.







Just keep chugging on. I figure if others can do it I can do it too!


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## 20920 (Jan 6, 2007)

Hi Pixie and Kalli,I could empathize with both of you. I have IBS myself. Though I am much older than you all (I am 46 years old), I have had a similar experience as yours. I have been having diarrhea and GERD for the past 5 years, which only went into remission about 6 months ago. Instead I have constipation now, which I settle with laxative.I wish to let you all know that there have been many cases where IBSers' symptoms improve and where the IBSers get their lives back. I am one of them. (If you read through the threads, you will know what I mean.)So, don't give up hope. By adjusting your lifestyle to adapt to IBS and by trying out different medicines and diets, you will find out just the right lifestyle/diet/medicine for yourselves.Good luck and take care.Eugene.


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## iMe22 (Dec 30, 2008)

ya, i feel like i've gotten my life taken away from me too. instead of normal girls who look for clothes online, and go shopping, i spend my time looking for things that work for ibs, but the problem is, it might work for someone else, but it won't work for me. does anyone know if the cd things work? it had a lot of positive feedback, but has anyone ever tried them?also, i know that sometimes talking about it can make you feel better, because keeping it trapped inside doesn't help, so if anyone needs to get something off their chest, i'm all ears, and totally understanding ((considering i tried to forget my 4th, 5th, and 6th grade years from memory))


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## hele07_12 (Dec 23, 2008)

I feel the same way.I have suacidal thought just like you.And I always kinda envy my friends because they have normal bodies.Having Ibs really does suckk.But hey look on the brightside at least your not the only person in the world who has it...theyre people that can relate...Just like me.and others on here.I hope you feel better


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## Pixie Righ? (Dec 28, 2008)

Thanks so much, guys. I really appreciate everything you guys have said. I came here looking for people like me, because I always feel so alone. having dealt with this problem for half my life, it's easy to see why i'm so sick of feeling this way. It's so easy to think of giving up. I never let my thoughts get the better of me, though. I try to remain calm and upbeat. My favorite thing in the world is going to concerts, where everyone has so much energy and is so amped and excited. The first concert I went to, I was so sick, I could barely enjoy it. I've been fortunate enough, though, that all the concerts I have gone to since then I have been well and just as amped as everyone else. It's the ONE place I feel like I'm a normal teenager.I just got over a flare up today...I always feel so heavy and depressed during a flare up. My mom told me that my grandma had IBS-C too, but it got better after she had kids. Needless to say, I'm not about to run off and get pregnant, but I feel a little happier knowing that there is hope that knowing one day i might be okay. I have big dreams of becoming a musician, but having IBS often causes me to question if I have the energy to entertain people every night. I don't wanna let that be my reason for stopping me...Life isn't always a bed of roses...I know that. People have it worse off than me. Sometimes I feel like it's not true. But everyone DOES have problems. Something always makes SOMEONE feel alienated. For us, it's our IBS. Some Cancer...some have small problems that seem huge to them, like a crooked nose. But..something always makes someone feel like they aren't a normal teenager. I feel blessed having found you guys...Thank you. I feel better, and I have hope now. And friends.


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## Gutsygal (Nov 23, 2008)

Dear Pixie - my heart goes out to you too. Please know you have made one more friend on this board - me. So much of what you bravely shared with us sounds like me,. Though I'm 55 years old, I've had IBS-A (pain-predominant) since I was 12. You are surely not alone in how you feel. Having IBS is a bummer and I'm so sorry you have not been feeling well for so long. But, the people on this board truly understand and will do all they can to help.Hang in there and don't give up, please. There are so many more treatment options available for IBS now than there were when I was first diagnosed 32 years ago. (Back then it was basically eat more fiber and take Metamucil.) I've been learning new ways to manage my symptoms that bring me considerable relief for much of the day - and so will you, too, find ways to cope with your symptoms and the stress of having them. In fact, it sounds like you have been doing very very well already with this. There is so much to enjoy in life and you are still enjoying it somehow - and you'll keep on with your cheerful spriit, IBS and all. And there are many more people who care about you too. Thanks for reaching out and we all hope you feel lots better soon...Lora


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