# Having a rough time



## Necer72 (Aug 31, 2007)

I lost it last night. Had a melt down. I have so much going on in my life right now that I am just about over the edge. My husband moved out, I had to file for bankruptcy (since I can't pay all the bills on my own), my dad is fighting prostate cancer and everyone relies on me to keep my mom going. I have 2 kids at home that need me to be strong and I'm not so sure that I can be anymore. My IBS is acting up something horrible today and I'm sure it because I have to go to court this morning for the bankruptcy. All I want to do is crawl back in bed and never get up. Last night I screamed at my daughter (who is 11) because she wanted to get on the computer (she is addicted) and I wanted them to go to the hospital with me to see their grandfather. She got so snotty with me that I lost it. The doctor does have me on Paxil but I'm not a big fan of taking it. Supposed to at night. I did last night but it isn't going to help me when I don't take it all the time. I feel like a horrible mom for losing it last night. She got over it and was fine later on but of course, I wasn't. I went to bed feeling horrible. I don't know how much more I can take. I'm on the verge of losing it everyday.


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## Lillett (Jun 4, 2006)

No wonder your IBS is acting up! You are under tremendous pressure. Any one of those things alone is enough. Do you have any siblings that can help take some of weight of helping your parents out? Also, I know your daughter is only 11 but I really started having bad IBS when my daughter was the same age. I was surprised at how much she understood and helped out. It seems from your post that you have a good relationship with her. Can you explain about the addiction to the internet and possibly have the school counselor talk with her about it. Surely, there are other kids out there with the same. You are in a tough financial situation. Many get into it so you are not alone. I am an attorney and I know that court is scary but you may be surprised at how compassionate a judge can be. I know you don't like the paxil but it may be what you need right now. Finally, don't forget to take care of yourself in little ways such as taking an hour for yourself to take a nice hot, bubble bath or reading a chapter in a book that you enjoy. Also, we are all here for you.


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## Cherrie (Sep 1, 2006)

Hi I am so so sorry that you're going through such a rough time... I've been there where it just felt like everything was on my shoulder during the last couple months of my dad's life (he had liver cancer) -- my mom and everyone else was counting on me and deep inside I was not sure how much more I could go on like that... So I completely understand how you feel... My heart goes out to you... While I do know that sometimes hard time has to run its course, trust me there really IS the end of the tunnel although at this moment it may not feel like that... You _will _be able to pull through, even though it really is so hard right now... I know it's so far from easy, but please do try and take one day at a time...Meanwhile, if you can, please also try to stick with Paxil (I understand, I hate to take meds, too, but sometimes one does need them). Are you D or C? Antideps usually has either a constipating or a D-causing side effect -- your antidep will probably also help you IBS-wise...Hugs.... And just want to let you know that we're all here for you on here... and do feel free to post any time...Lots and lots of good thoughts and prayers going your way...Cherrie


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## Necer72 (Aug 31, 2007)

Thanks guys..my siblings do help out some too but not as much as me. I'm the one that gives me parents baths when they are too sick to do it. I guess maybe because I live just down the road and they know that they can count on me. My dad is turning 80 next month (I'm 35) and still doing real estate (he's a broker/own business) so when he is ill my brother and I pick up the slack at the office. I do have my real estate license but don't really do much with it. One good thing..he is being released from the hospital today. He has been in since Saturday. Another thing is that I owe my parents a lot...I wouldn't be the person I am today without them. See they adopted me from foster care when I was 16. They gave me a family and I owe them big time. They have done so much for me so in return I do whatever is asked of me. I'm trying. My daughter has a big project due Thursday and I told her that we would work some more on it together tonight. She has been asking me for help but I have been in such a funk that all I've done between running around is lay on the couch. I know I'm depressed....all the signs are there. My son is busting his butt studying for finals before Christmas break that he hasn't been much help. My IBS is normally C but lately with everything in my life so screwed up that I am D. Gassy beyond belief but I am dealing with it. I don't have time for myself. Maybe this weekend I will be able to focus a little more on me (the kids are going with thier dad). Thanks for letting me vent. I am just so overwhelmed and it felt somewhat better to put it in writing. Where my life is heading...I have no clue. But I have to put on my big girl pants and deal with it. Thanks again.


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## Lillett (Jun 4, 2006)

I believe that you love your parents and they love you. And it's true, one sibling always takes on more than the others and usually it is the one who lives near by. But your parents would not want to see you in such despair. I really wish there was something I could do to help you but I am here to listen to you.


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## Guest (Dec 18, 2007)

Oh hun - listen - we all scream at our kids and wish we hadn't and god knows I haven't had to put up with a 1/10th of what you are going through - so absolutely power to you for hanging in there and having the guts and courage to open up about it all.I do know a little bit about being the "unprodigal" child in the family - my sister, who I totally adore, lives in the Irish Republic - so it is always me that does the "picking up the pieces" - mercifully my parents are very hale and hearty - but they are 84 and 78 so I know what we've got around the corner and who'll be going the fetching and carrying.You sound as if you are taking on so much all on your own and you've obviously been a coper that everybody turns to as well - but there's no shame in asking for help - sorry, I can't remember what other siblings there are - a brother? Well, they are going to have to take on more of the lion's share. If you are depressed (which you say you are) - you need to be cherished abit - do you have a sympathetic doctor. At the end of the day, its going to be no good to anyone is you keel over so yeah, folk around and about are going to have to pitch in abit more.Try and be bossy with yourself - set yourself a limited number of goals a day - the real essentials - and if other things fall by the wayside - don't beat yourself up - you are a human being not a robot. In the meantime - give yourself a bloody big pat on the back (I'm sending one across the pond Necer) for being such a trouper.Sue xxxx


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## Poo Pea 2 (Jan 4, 2008)

Thinking of you and hoping things start to improve Poo Pea (((hugs)))


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