# dating with ibs



## 14264 (Nov 3, 2005)

hey there! i am 22, almost 23, living with ibs for over 10 yrs but knowing for almost a year. i have had serious relationships in the past but i am single again. my problem is that i get nervous when i am waiting to get picked up, which makes the whole dating thing a little hard. are there any ins dating websites? i have looked but i have not found any. i would really like a little help with the whole dating thing. it sucks b/c i am very social, but i get nervous dating which leads to problems, which you all know! of there isn't anything out there, can any of u who know computer stuff set something up that we all can join into? i think we all know, dating is a hard thing for all of us- no matter what you look like, or what your personality is, dating is a lot harder for us! lets get something together. any milwaukee of chicago people- talk to me!


----------



## 22128 (Jul 28, 2005)

It would be nice but I dont think there are any dating sites just for IBS. Your best bet on is on here but finding someone close to you is a long shot. And we all know that long distance relationships and the travel involved dont work out well with the IBS. Good luck


----------



## 21810 (Nov 10, 2005)

I know exactly how you feel. Things can be difficult, particularly when starting a new relationship it can be very nerve-wracking. I had a first date last night and spent the first 20 minutes with my stomach churning and bubbling. It's not being nervous that bothers me - in fact I like the feeling of being nervous; it's the associated IBS problems that I don't like!Maybe some advice, instead of "waiting to be picked up" why not make your own transport arrangements? Do you drive? If so, arrange to meet somewhere. It puts you in control, and I always find being in control makes me feel much better. Maybe it will work for you too?I find that once the first few weeks of a relationship are over I become more comfortable and don't get nervous, and then I can get more adventurous and do more things.Best of luck to you







Ax


----------



## 21973 (Jun 28, 2005)

hi there.I think the best dating site would be yahoo personals. Its always nice to communicate through email, first. Personally, i wouldnt tell people right off the bat that i have ibs...i usually wait till im somewhat closer to them. Or go on collegeclub.com. Do you belong to a church? thats a good way to meet others. oh, when me and my bf started dating (3 1/2 years ago), he didnt even know tahat i had ibs. I told him a year later. and he kept saying " no wonder youre always asking about the bathrooms!" haha. hilarious


----------



## 20468 (Nov 19, 2005)

Maaaan, having ibs sucks so bad. I'm 21 and I've had it for 3 years now (i got it on my final year of high school). I find it hard to believe that i'll EVER find myself a bf. I just can't bring myself to telling them what I have cuz it's... uhh... what's the word... EMBARRASSING!! The only luck I'd have is finding someone off a support group like this who lives in the area -- but what are the chances of them being around my age. I give out my number to guys but it's like what's the point? I always screen the calls. Some of my friends think im weird b/c they never see me date -- and again, I dont tell them about my condition b/c I think in order for them to understand it they'd either have to be a dr. or have it themselves.Well, on the plus side, it's nice to have a support group out there for us. It's really comforting! I'm at work right now (I work tennis reception at a golf course) so I better get back to work! But, I'm sure you'll be hearing from me a lot more. Ciao!~*LoRie*~


----------



## 19492 (Dec 4, 2005)

Hi Lorie and fellow dating problem peeps,I'm really struggling to not let IBS ruin my life. I struggle with the whole needing the toilet all the time thing and fortunately dont have the pain. But I think people who dont suffer from it are much more sympathetic than you think. Why do bowel problems have to be so embarrassing? Everyone has had an upset at one point in their life, so they must have some understanding and we're so lucky in the Western worlds to nearly always be near a decent toilet. The thing that stops me going out is the fear of the IBS being bad, which of course makes it worse. How can we overcome it? We shouldnt be afraid should we?


----------



## 20468 (Nov 19, 2005)

I was watching "Americas Next Top-Model" and Tyra Banks openly admitted she has IBS. I wonder what her secret is...







~*LoRie*~


----------



## 14100 (May 1, 2005)

Hey everyone,Well I'm a guy, and I'm 19 and I've had IBS since I can really remember.My advice: The truth will set you free.I use to have a lot of trouble dating and just going out in general, but thanks to levbid, fiber therapy, calcium supplements, levbid, and Imodium I'm managing very well. So first and foremost I would recommend working on yourself before getting out in the dating game. Plus I find most people with IBS have a lower self-esteem (generalization I know), even I have been a victim of this. Anyhow, because of that its important to feel like you at least have some control over your IBS and yourself.In regards to dating, I would suggest leaving it on a need to know basis but with the intention of informing a potential partner as soon as possible. The best way to do this is to be truthful but if you must seed your IBS. Usually I wait until after the 1st date or two to bring up IBS, but I will mention it possibly. First I'll introduce it lightly, like if we're out to lunch I'll mention "I have a sensitive stomach." Then lets say a week later I want to push back a 2nd date because my IBS is acting up, I'll bring up how I mentioned how I have a sensitive stomach and elaborate a bit further. etc. If you keep dropping obvious direct verbal bits of information this way you have a bit of a case to point back to when you layout what IBS is. By the 3rd or 4th date or 2-4 weeks the person should probably know you have IBS.I find pretty much everyone has something that sucks medically, be it asthma, IBS, depression, migraines, whatever. So its a conversation any couple will have to have eventually. I've found that my upfront honesty usually inspires the other person to tell me about their hidden issue. This typically helps both of us get to know each other and feel a little more comfortable around each other.If someone isn't accepting or is an ass (can we say that here?) about your IBS then clearly you need to get rid of them. Not understanding at first if they are a little slow is one thing, but not willing to be accepting means its time to find someone new.


----------



## 23563 (Dec 6, 2005)

I'm so excited to have found this forum. I'm brand new to this, diagnosed with IBS-D about a year and a half ago. It's very much under control and I deifnitely have it easy compared to a lot of other people. I'm 23 and have been single since the diagnosis, but I was undiagnosed for many years before, during which time I was in a serious relationship. It was SO difficult having symptoms and being close with someone, just purely because of the embarrassment. I hated just laying around quietly and watching a movie because I was terrified my stomach would make horrid noises, which it normally did. And being with someone in the morning, which is not an easy time, was not fun. It's better now with the meds, but I'm still so nervous about what my stomach would do with a new guy, mixing anxiety in with it all. It's good to hear that other people go through the same thing!


----------

