# looking for a job when you're smelly



## 18021

hello. after spending some time hiding away from the worldbecause i smell like fart all the time, i need to go back into theworkforce. the mental and emotional risk is that i won't be able to handle the mean comments people make about the smell.i'd like to work somewhere i can offend the least amount of peopleand in turn have the least amount of people offending me.any suggestions? where do you fellow LGers work?


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## 20657

I hear ya, i smell like a fart or #### and have just gotten a job atChuck E. Cheese, haha. Kids are sooo nice. I think maybe a kennel? I was looking into that. I'm planning on becoming an accountant, CPA so i can work by myself. Either way good luck. Also, with getting emotionally,..drained I guess is the right word, when having to deal with morons..maybe you should see a psychologist, since I've been seeing mine I've been able to cope with demenaing comments and insults for hours before crumbling. I think you're Very brave and applaud you for at least making the effort to face people. Screw them, you're a better person.


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## 18021

Thanks for your reply, Steph. I appreciate the encouragement. I am seeing a psychologist who is helping me regain the courage that depression took away from me. This means facing my LG head on instead of pretending it's going to magically go away some day. When I was a kid, I convinced myself it would go away when I came an adult--that I'd grow out of it. Working from home might be the answer for me. I'll look into careers in that direction.


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## 20322

You could consider home day care. You would be comfortable in your own home and surrounded by smelly diapers anyway so who would know?(And I know some women that do home daycare and they make very good money, tax free)


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## baldy

I smell like a ###### for over 10 years now and are currently having urine problems... In them years ive worked so many jobs.. mainly due to the fact that companys think that i smell like this they dont need to treat me the way they treat others.. Or theyll pay me less than the rest when the jobs are equal.. Alot of discrimination.. Longest job i had was for 5 years at a comsumer store in a garage area during that time they use to tell me i was getting promoted but everytime the high lvl guys would come to interview me they wouldnt take me because they held there noes all the time..When searching for a job unfortunetly in our issues. Is not to be straight forward about your issues... Take all the extra steps that u can to eliminate the odor as much as possible before interview.. Then once in work 20 times harder than there hardest worker... It usually works for me.. Or try to find a job that you work by yourself.However usually ull need to have some specialty in the area .. Ive tried being honest to employers with terrible results in the interview process.. However u may have better luck Oh and I use to be very intense some called mean It works for working with younger crowd usually because theyll only talk quietly behind your back instead of insulting to your face.. However my new position im working with middle to late age woman.. This position Im being extremely polite and helping with anything that involves straining for them.. This is working somewhat to some people although ive heard many.. But being a guy there is really nothing i can do when it comes to middle to late age woman saying things other than hiding all emotions when im at work however i doubt its gonna last goodluck unfortunately many people in this world like me can not live without a paycheck.. I do not have anyone that will support me or is willing to help out... Also everymorning before work i stay in my car and get mentally ready to cover anything that would be said.. It works atleast for me .... I put a brick,steel,concrete,rebar,fiberglass,carbonfile,aluminum,titanium,copper was in front of me so that i can keep doing it for 40 hours a week..GOODLUCK AGAIN


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## Constinker

I hear you, it is hard! I used to go home and just fall into a deep depression. The only thing keeping me going was my duty to keep my son doing well, and to the heck with everything else (would use stronger words here, but the board blanks those out). These days I'm harder, much harder, and fortunately not suffering as intensely as before, I just figure that people will be mean, and I've just got to deal. I figure the best I can do is not be an easy victim, which is what the meaner people are looking for, I'll hold myself up as a human deserving of the niceties that most everyone expects, and occasionally bring someone up hard to draw the lines of what is unacceptable. Someone must gather the evidence that it's a real problem, and I hope to do that (currently there's no textbook for med students that even goes into this as it's not a well researched subject). Weirdly I'm quiet and don't make waves most of the time, but I can be very drastic at times, and what I'm doing now is drastic (not going into that now).With most other medical conditions, people aren't nasty about it. Got diabetes? A heart problem? Asthma? People are sympathetic. But not with this. People show disbelief, derision, contempt, etc. The important thing to remember is that none of us chose this, just as no one chose to have asthma, so we do not deserve the meanness. You've got to work hard, show you are in no other way deserving of contempt, and then bring them up hard. It's like what the blacks did in the 1950s, or the gays in the 1980s, but even harder since we're even further in the minority.I hope to move to online teaching, then computer programming, all from home, so I don't have to deal with the majority of unthinking morons.


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## ThreeYearsAndCounting

Constinker said:


> I hear you, it is hard! I used to go home and just fall into a deep depression. The only thing keeping me going was my duty to keep my son doing well, and to the heck with everything else (would use stronger words here, but the board blanks those out). These days I'm harder, much harder, and fortunately not suffering as intensely as before, I just figure that people will be mean, and I've just got to deal. I figure the best I can do is not be an easy victim, which is what the meaner people are looking for, I'll hold myself up as a human deserving of the niceties that most everyone expects, and occasionally bring someone up hard to draw the lines of what is unacceptable. Someone must gather the evidence that it's a real problem, and I hope to do that (currently there's no textbook for med students that even goes into this as it's not a well researched subject). Weirdly I'm quiet and don't make waves most of the time, but I can be very drastic at times, and what I'm doing now is drastic (not going into that now).With most other medical conditions, people aren't nasty about it. Got diabetes? A heart problem? Asthma? People are sympathetic. But not with this. People show disbelief, derision, contempt, etc. The important thing to remember is that none of us chose this, just as no one chose to have asthma, so we do not deserve the meanness. You've got to work hard, show you are in no other way deserving of contempt, and then bring them up hard. It's like what the blacks did in the 1950s, or the gays in the 1980s, but even harder since we're even further in the minority.I hope to move to online teaching, then computer programming, all from home, so I don't have to deal with the majority of unthinking morons.


Completely off-topic, but Constinker, you want to teach programming? Awesome...just finishing my Associates in Comp. Sci. What language do you "succeed" in (favorite/best)?Anyways, I lucked out BIG TIME with my current employment. My first job was a Taco Bell where my smell blended in with the food (lol) so it wasn't horrible. I really treated people with great respect (the customers) and even had some people try to tip me (not allowed to accept nor did I want to)! Thankfully, since they were in their cars, they couldn't smell me, otherwise I'm sure they wouldn't have been so kind. Anywho, with my outlook looking bleak at best, I got a job at a major University working under two programmers who not only treat me with a lot of respect (despite my smell / lack of confidence), treat me to lunch, and help me with questions about life/programming, but also motivated me to go to college and get a degree. Once I finish my Associate's, I'm going for my Bachelor's and then into the work force.


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## Common Response

ThreeYearsAndCounting said:


> Anywho, with my outlook looking bleak at best, I got a job at a major University working under two programmers who not only treat me with a lot of respect (despite my smell / lack of confidence), treat me to lunch, and help me with questions about life/programming, but also motivated me to go to college and get a degree. Once I finish my Associate's, I'm going for my Bachelor's and then into the work force.


Being accepted, comfortable and at ease is all that we ask for.That's brilliant TWC.Getting an education is the best thing you can do to carry you through life.


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## Constinker

ThreeYearsAndCounting said:


> Completely off-topic, but Constinker, you want to teach programming? Awesome...just finishing my Associates in Comp. Sci. What language do you "succeed" in (favorite/best)?


Studying Objective-C, cause I'm a Mac fanboy. I'm still a beginner though.And Common Response! Yes, that sums up every one of our hopes! We want to be accepted or even outcasted based on who we are, not our medical condition.


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## Wishing&Hoping

Working in a hospital isn't too bad because you can always blame the patients for the smells.....


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## SickPetals

I work in an open office area. Having to pass 8 people when I get up from my cubicle, 3 hour commutes a day. I'm contstantly in the line of fire of reactions and comments. The most I can do is stay at my cubicle for as long as possible until my waste system says, "Get the hell up!" And colleague who dont care for me _ the most competitive ones - are aware that im conscious about it. So almost everytime i pass by the sniff very loudly our whistle or grunt. I can avoid it while commuting literally using a see no evil hear no evil method - music in my ears and my eyes in a book, newspaper or phone for the entire duration. Perhaps I can try that when passing by people at work...to keep my headphones on since they're allowed. But I do have my moments when I'm like F*ck Everybody, you're just gonna have to deal while I out perform your *ss. But unfortunately these days are not frequent enough. People are extremely insensitive. ANd I admit. Forgive me but on really bad days, I curse at them in my head thinking, "If you were to deal with this for just one year you'd be too weak and end yourself." I know thats harsh, but its madness and impossible living through the hell they give us whether intentionally or unintentionally. And I dont think that the sufferer who ends their life is weak for it is extremely hard...but I pray for them and their families.AT THE END OF THE DAY WE ALL SHOULD BE PROUD THAT WE'VE BEEN STRONG ENOUGH TO KEEP LIVING. TO KEEP DEALING. TO KEEP LOVING OURSELVES AND IGNORING THE IGNORANT. PEOPLE/THE PUBLIC MAKES THIS 3 TIMES HARDER TO DEAL THAN IT ALREADY IS AND EVERY SECOND WE MANAGE A SMILE OR LAUGH OR LIVE, SHOW HOW MUCH STRONGER WE ARE THAN THE AVERAGE PERSON ESPECIALLY THESE MORONIC JERKS WHO TORTURE US. PLEASE DO NOT LET THIS DISEASE OR THE PUBLIC CONSEQUENCES BE THE END OF YOU. Its been ten years for me and I'll continue to fight.


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## PeterMartin

Go through the Ayurveda treatment is the best solution for it. It may take long time to cure but if you have potions then there will be confirm result at the end of the treatment.


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## Common Response

SickPetals said:


> People are extremely insensitive. ANd I admit. Forgive me but on really bad days, I curse at them in my head thinking, "If you were to deal with this for just one year you'd be too weak and end yourself." I know thats harsh, but its madness and impossible living through the hell they give us whether intentionally or unintentionally.


Agreed.Trapped in our situations, it's our thoughts which help us to keep sane and reduce the stress.On my journey, there were many very smug types who turned their back, sending me to the depths of humiliation.I would fantasize that with a handshake I could pass my condition onto one of these heartless types.I'd then picture myself observing them living with this curse which I had suffered, and experiencing what I had gone through.Unfortunately peoples responses in many cases are hard wired.These days I view responses neutrally, and focus on being as fresh as possible allowing me to minimize encounters.


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## -Nikki

I can empathize with you. Im looking for a job at the moment, in catering, as i am on a college course on the subject. I've wondered about working from home, but i dont like the idea, i just want to be a chef. Its so hard, especially to build up the confidence to go out there and look for a job. Last week i had an interview at a small kitchen at my local golf club, which went well and they asked me back for a trial day in the kitchen. I worked there for a day and thought it went well, but have not had a call back and cant help but think that its due to the LG. Im close to giving up entirely. Just had to get that off my chest.


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## SickPetals

Common Response said:


> Agreed.Trapped in our situations, it's our thoughts which help us to keep sane and reduce the stress.On my journey, there were many very smug types who turned their back, sending me to the depths of humiliation.I would fantasize that with a handshake I could pass my condition onto one of these heartless types.I'd then picture myself observing them living with this curse which I had suffered, and experiencing what I had gone through.Unfortunately peoples responses in many cases are hard wired.These days I view responses neutrally, and focus on being as fresh as possible allowing me to minimize encounters.


You look at the responses as neutral. But HOW? How. Every day is a new day and the responses hit me as if its the first. Please share how.


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## SickPetals

-Nikki said:


> I can empathize with you. Im looking for a job at the moment, in catering, as i am on a college course on the subject. I've wondered about working from home, but i dont like the idea, i just want to be a chef. Its so hard, especially to build up the confidence to go out there and look for a job. Last week i had an interview at a small kitchen at my local golf club, which went well and they asked me back for a trial day in the kitchen. I worked there for a day and thought it went well, but have not had a call back and cant help but think that its due to the LG. Im close to giving up entirely. Just had to get that off my chest.


Dont give up. I greatly admire your effort to follow through with the interview and the trial. I hope that you do get a call back, but if otherwise, I'd call to ask. YOu went beyond the first step and thats balls living with our condition. So Congrat so far.


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## Common Response

SickPetals said:


> You look at the responses as neutral. But HOW? How. Every day is a new day and the responses hit me as if its the first. Please share how.


It takes time and if you can stick to the practice will liberate you.I use Mindfulness or Self Observation.You begin by visualizing yourself slightly above and behind your head.The practice is to observe yourself, your thoughts, your body, your interactions with others, and your feelings.The trick is that when your mind wonders, don't give up, but gently come back to your mindfulness.Over time you'll be able to observe yourself more and more.Observe yourself in an FBO encounter.When you notice someone detecting your symptom and reacting negatively to you: Observe your thoughts: Look for thoughts of dread, wanting to shrink away & die, thoughts of humiliation, thoughts of your career suffering.Observe your body: Look for any muscular tightening, change of breathe, palpitations and other changes.Encounters may trigger adrenalin and result in a physical rush and tension.Most such triggers will only last for up to 3 minutes.Our problem is that the initial encounter/thought will lead to a chain of thoughts lasting for hours or even days.A chain of thoughts,each triggering another shot of adrenalin will leave you in a continuous heightened anxiety state.This becomes your new natural state.Your initial condition/symptoms, most likely due to genetic and environmental factors is now made worse through an anxiety loop.Mindfulness allows you to observe the initial thought and adrenalin trigger.By observing it you will notice it will be gone within 3 minutes.You're also able to observe your tendency towards a chain of thoughts.Break this chain.Observe your initial thought, and its affect on your body and observe it disappear.You can do the same with your fears.Observe the fear of running the gauntlet on public transport.Observe the ill treatment from your work colleagues.Observe the fear and anxiety within you which they arouse.You'll notice that your fear will soon disappear.Allowing a chain of thoughts will cause it to grow and grow until it is overwhelming.The only difference between observing it for the three minutes and allowing it to grow is your mind.There is another practice which will help you to improve your mindfulness concentration and this can be done during your daily commute.Rather than sitting there visualizing what humiliation this day will bring you can do the following:Sit comfortably upright and at one with gravity.Loosen all your muscles and relax them.Gently close your eyes and focus on your breathe.Watch your breathe rising and falling, in and out, but don't control it.You will soon notice that every breathe is unique.No two breathes are the same.Soon you'll notice that your mind wondered and you were daydreaming.Don't punish yourself,this is normal.Gently refocus back to the breathe, but don't control it.Do this daily and you will arrive at work much more relaxed.If you have odor, stressing about it won't reduce it.In fact stressing will worsen it by diverting blood from the gut and to the muscular system.We will all have bad days, but dwelling on it is like creating your own little hell.No one knows what is in your mind.Rather than worrying, observe the serene beauty which lies within.It is your true nature and will give you sanctuary.Like learning to play a guitar, this practice will take time.Practice and the rewards will be infinite.You will have many times to work on your condition, by visiting doctors, networking with others and experimenting with options.Apart from presenting yourself as best you can, you have no control over others.Let them play there silly games.Observe these games neutrally with you mindfulness.You will soon realize they can't kill you and the feeling will subside.You will regain the upper hand as they will no longer be able to control you.


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## stevefriel

Doing sewage work is probably the best thing.


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## Parker

I work in a hospital. Two in fact. At either place, I encounter the same reactions you guys do. Sometimes I want to say something but I never do. Not for fear of the actual outbursts but because I know me. I know I wash, keep my clothes clean do the best I can to live my life. They mean nothing in the grand scheme of things.I use to run around worried, trying crazy things to prevent them from having to deal with me. That was until I heard myself talking suicidal.That put the brakes on everything. I have kids at home. I am a great friend and family member. I was no longer going to let them make me depressed. The smell did that all by itself. The smell hurt me worst when I couldn't smell it and everyone else did.I became aggressive. Not to the point I will fight, but I did not let them know that. I would address whispers and match looks with venomous ones of my own. The silence was awesome!!! I felt free. I know this may not be suitable when you are having first encounters but to deal with the people "who have no flippin idea" how we live, it is liberating.I can be certain the conversations still go on but they are behind my back. If you are talking about me there then it means nothing to me.I make regular statements when I think they are trying to get me in that space again, such as, "I come here for my check and I have a life outside of here". "I really could careless what people think about me unless they are feeding my kids and paying a few bills".There are times, I thought of confiding in someone so they would know, but then I thought about the fact that I have a right to privacy although the smell is quite public. LOL!!! Know you guys are not the smell!!!! You are a person. You deserve relationships, love, respect and a JOB like everyone else. KEEP MOVING!!! LIFE WILL! LEAD YOURS!!


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## Parker

Simon....I know that defeated feeling you have all too well. You are not your smell. You are right about the friends. I look at it as process of elimination. The ones that matter will be right there. I am sorry that you felt the need to end it. I felt that also but realised that is not who I am or ever hoped to become. You spent time, money and effort to be in the profession you're in. Education and your abilities to do your job should not be so easily given away. This world can be an ugly place and has quite a few ugly people in it, but do not let it consume you. Good days and bad days, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!


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## Common Response

simon86 said:


> My problem is that I don't have any life outside work. So when things turn bad at each new placement (as they invariably will do) it hits me really hard. I've spent my all my adult life studying to be competent at my job and now FBO is holding me back. I'm having doubts that I have what it takes. This last week was hell. The senior doctors laugh at me, the patients, the nursing staff and not to mention strangers in the street. I've just pushed my remaining closest friends away, they were laughing at me...I reached out to them, explained that it wasn't my fault, I'm not being anal or unhygienic... and still the comments continued. So i guess they were never my friends anyway. I think the only thing that has stopped me properly ending it (i tried once) these last few years is that it would be a victory for every idiot who ever bullied or insulted me. I'm way too angry at all these people to ever allow thatMaybe night shift work, or night security would be good for ppl like us. The less people we have to deal with the better. People are more cruel the larger the groups of them there are.


Hi Simon.Your description of the way others treat us was behind my avatar (Common Response).The dynamics behind groups can definitely be cruel towards those who don't conform or stand out.Their response towards us is common and probably hardwired in our genes and conditioning.I found identical dynamics and responses from unrelated individuals and groups.Try not to hold grievance against them as they real lack awareness of their behavior.Anger will only burn you up from within and amplify your pain.Just view their responses with neutrality or as a curious observation of human behavior. Rather than be treated as the outcast or loser within a group I was the leader of my own group, a group of one.My groups members could walk with head held high as they only answered to members within the group.Simon, you stand there, an individual and unique in this universe. Perhaps you have a purpose and its your quest to find it before your life ends.Think of your condition as your challenge to change and to uncover your purpose whilst searching for the cure or control of your symptoms.Those who bully you are the unlucky ones.


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## Girl

I'm having the same problem in finding a job because I have low confident and I tend to get anxiety all the time. I've went through the most awful comments people made about me mainly through the high school, I was going through pure hell for whole months. Now what makes it worst is that my house, the place where I should feel secure, became my worst nightmare my family will make it hard for, laughing about my issues. Especially Mom. As the moment she'll see me she will blow her nose very loudly imitating a fart sound that is just insane and so stupid from her side, I know her game, she wants to offend me but I won't let her, I'll just keep walking and getting away from her, I wish I could find a job so I could leave the nightmare I'm being in. Than how I suppose to handle with strangers after she made me lose all my confident and get anxiety even in my own living room? When I need to sit in companey of people, I can't handle my minds, the IBS controll it if I only could live without the IBS issues I would do just great, I'm so hopeless.


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## Common Response

Hi Girl.Have you spoken to your mother about how hurtful she is and how her behavior shatters your confidence and robs you of a place where you can let go?It sounds like she has a total lack of awareness.You need to get away from everything and check into a health retreat which focuses on our issues.Some place where we can be taught to eat well, learn to exercise and relax, and to develop coping skills when dealing with society.


Girl said:


> I'm having the same problem in finding a job because I have low confident and I tend to get anxiety all the time. I've went through the most awful comments people made about me mainly through the high school, I was going through pure hell for whole months. Now what makes it worst is that my house, the place where I should feel secure, became my worst nightmare my family will make it hard for, laughing about my issues. Especially Mom. As the moment she'll see me she will blow her nose very loudly imitating a fart sound that is just insane and so stupid from her side, I know her game, she wants to offend me but I won't let her, I'll just keep walking and getting away from her, I wish I could find a job so I could leave the nightmare I'm being in. Than how I suppose to handle with strangers after she made me lose all my confident and get anxiety even in my own living room? When I need to sit in companey of people, I can't handle my minds, the IBS controll it if I only could live without the IBS issues I would do just great, I'm so hopeless.


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## Girl

Common Response said:


> Hi Girl.Have you spoken to your mother about how hurtful she is and how her behavior shatters your confidence and robs you of a place where you can let go?It sounds like she has a total lack of awareness.You need to get away from everything and check into a health retreat which focuses on our issues.Some place where we can be taught to eat well, learn to exercise and relax, and to develop coping skills when dealing with society.


Hi at least someone cares from me, I'm living isolated and if I had no Pc I guess I'd be really alone I'm in my middle 20's wanting badly to LIVE and to have friends, that's so simple but yet impossible for me. I did some gastro checks and it came out that I'm having Ansimus that causes me to have problems with my pelvic floor what makes all the IBS worst. I should handle my anxiety due to IBS, but I'm so afraid to take any medications so it won't make my IBS symptoms worst while I'm living in this home of mine. I tried to ask here for advices if anyone who tried to take drugs such as Nurtiline or Asto had any problems with that but I didn't get any response.As for your question, it's a bit long, I'll tell you why I didn't do that, but before that, I'm acting with her as she said once "Quite aggressively" and that means that if she wants something for me I'll answer with slightly angry tone, we're not talking for some months and I don't want to talk with her, why should I? I was the one who acted wrong? No, again after all she done to me she made my health worst, making me to have Issues with my pelvic joints that another story just understand what she did to me and now I can't do anything with myself but I'm trying to work my way out I must too. On the last time where I didn't talk with her for months, one day, she told my brother "I talked to her really not nice" but that was rubbish she doesn't care to hurt. You said it seems "she has a total lack of awareness" She does, she suddenly can't understand why I'm being "aggressive" with her? PLEASE after she MADE my life miserable she expect from me anything else? I can't sleep at night knowing she's on the other room making fun of me. Imagine that there is someone that makes your life miserable, day by day, night by night, once you'll show him that his behavior affecting you, in that moment the same person will feel that you're defeated. Sometimes, I think she just enjoy to be the rude person around I'm not wishing anybody to go through what I'm going through. She offended me in front of my brother and that was rude, on times she thought I was not hearing her she was gossiping about ME with my other sister on my issues, with that kind of person you want me to let her know how she hurts me? No, I'll hold my head high, because people like these, that is the reason why people kill themselves, it's too much to handle with, I fel tired from this lives but somehow I still didn't give up on my life though I thought about this for many years why should I be awake just to keep on suffering. Once I'll leave this hell home I won't bother to explain her the reason.It got to that bad situation where I had to go to public bathrooms, ALONE, just she won't know about my issues there, I know it was dangerous but I had\have no other choices sometimes the shame it's more worst that knowing something bad might happen. My main goal is to handle anxiety and bulit up confident I totaly lost sitting in companey with others and don't let my mind and fears taking over me, Thanks for reading me.


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## Cal3576

Driving Truck (Solo) Isn't too bad


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## Cal3576

Girl said:


> I'm having the same problem in finding a job because I have low confident and I tend to get anxiety all the time. I've went through the most awful comments people made about me mainly through the high school, I was going through pure hell for whole months. Now what makes it worst is that my house, the place where I should feel secure, became my worst nightmare my family will make it hard for, laughing about my issues. Especially Mom. As the moment she'll see me she will blow her nose very loudly imitating a fart sound that is just insane and so stupid from her side, I know her game, she wants to offend me but I won't let her, I'll just keep walking and getting away from her, I wish I could find a job so I could leave the nightmare I'm being in. Than how I suppose to handle with strangers after she made me lose all my confident and get anxiety even in my own living room? When I need to sit in companey of people, I can't handle my minds, the IBS controll it if I only could live without the IBS issues I would do just great, I'm so hopeless.


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## Beth_J

I have been through a lot of hurtful situations at work when it comes to smelling. I work in retail industry as a manager and so you can imagine how bad it is when your staff start talking behind your back. Nobody has had the guts to tell me straight to my face, but i get the jibes and smart comments. I went through six months of humiliation every time we had our weekly meetings in the office and that was due to nasty comments made in front of me by the other managers. Can anyone tell me how we are supposed to defend ourselves or what we are supposed to say to these people, because i thought just tellingothers about having ibs would be enough but apparently they don't understand.


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## I hate Candida

Girl said:


> Hi at least someone cares from me, I'm living isolated and if I had no Pc I guess I'd be really alone I'm in my middle 20's wanting badly to LIVE and to have friends, that's so simple but yet impossible for me. I did some gastro checks and it came out that I'm having Ansimus that causes me to have problems with my pelvic floor what makes all the IBS worst. I should handle my anxiety due to IBS, but I'm so afraid to take any medications so it won't make my IBS symptoms worst while I'm living in this home of mine. I tried to ask here for advices if anyone who tried to take drugs such as Nurtiline or Asto had any problems with that but I didn't get any response.As for your question, it's a bit long, I'll tell you why I didn't do that, but before that, I'm acting with her as she said once "Quite aggressively" and that means that if she wants something for me I'll answer with slightly angry tone, we're not talking for some months and I don't want to talk with her, why should I? I was the one who acted wrong? No, again after all she done to me she made my health worst, making me to have Issues with my pelvic joints that another story just understand what she did to me and now I can't do anything with myself but I'm trying to work my way out I must too. On the last time where I didn't talk with her for months, one day, she told my brother "I talked to her really not nice" but that was rubbish she doesn't care to hurt. You said it seems "she has a total lack of awareness" She does, she suddenly can't understand why I'm being "aggressive" with her? PLEASE after she MADE my life miserable she expect from me anything else? I can't sleep at night knowing she's on the other room making fun of me. Imagine that there is someone that makes your life miserable, day by day, night by night, once you'll show him that his behavior affecting you, in that moment the same person will feel that you're defeated. Sometimes, I think she just enjoy to be the rude person around I'm not wishing anybody to go through what I'm going through. She offended me in front of my brother and that was rude, on times she thought I was not hearing her she was gossiping about ME with my other sister on my issues, with that kind of person you want me to let her know how she hurts me? No, I'll hold my head high, because people like these, that is the reason why people kill themselves, it's too much to handle with, I fel tired from this lives but somehow I still didn't give up on my life though I thought about this for many years why should I be awake just to keep on suffering. Once I'll leave this hell home I won't bother to explain her the reason.It got to that bad situation where I had to go to public bathrooms, ALONE, just she won't know about my issues there, I know it was dangerous but I had\have no other choices sometimes the shame it's more worst that knowing something bad might happen. My main goal is to handle anxiety and bulit up confident I totaly lost sitting in companey with others and don't let my mind and fears taking over me, Thanks for reading me.


Girl, I totally get your situation. My mother, sister and dad are the same, insenstive and lack any understanding. it's bad enough when its colleagues but when it's your own family doing the taunting there's no getting away from it. It's extremely hurtful and can make you feel so alone. I do consider suicide a lot, especially when I have bad days and right now I'm in a bad phase again with LG. In my case my so-called sister has turned all her friends against me (I would say "our" friends but they don't feel like mine anymore) and she tells endlessly embarrassing stories and lies about me to everyone, usually behind my back, and I often see them smirking at each other about me when I'm there. They believe all the stories, as after all, I'm the one with the smell. They all hate me anyway because they have probably all come to the conclusion that I'm somehow lacking in dignity, am dirty, am disrespectful and inconsiderate, beneath them, etc etc. None of them like or talk to me anymore. Also my sister is very competitive with me and she just wants everyone to think she's better than me. With a problem like mine it's not hard. She's already won that one but she doesn't stop.She even told my dad (which is terrible thing to do to a girl as girls are supposed tto be "perfect" in their daddy's eyes) and my dad is now deeply embarrassed by me as all our family friends their age know about me too, thanks to my sister and so-called friends. When I'm with my parents and sister I might as well be invisible as they only ever talk to her properly now. When I leave the room I know they immediately talk about me, as I can see their smirks when I come back. I know my sister has probably told them another "funny anecdote" about me (no doubt a lie) to amuse them. My dad is embarrassed by me but can't help smirking about me too. It's horrible, as I don't even feel part of the family anymore, let alone equal to HER. My mother chooses not to understand my problem and has never let me even finish explaining my disease even once to her (I believe it is due to candida) because she is so narrow-minded about things. Therefore she doesn't understand the need for my diet and how it works. She just nags and lectures about healthy eating, (and because I have to cut out all sugar she is now convinced that I don't know what I'm doing and that somehow, for some stupid reason, sugar is one of the essential nutrients we need in our diet (which is ###### of course) and this is coming from an ex-nurse!!) Now every time I eat her food I feel ill as I'm sure she puts sugar in things (often our ethnic community uses sugar in chicken dishes etc) even though she says she doesn't. Then she, my dad and my sister start smirking at each other and talking about me as soon as I'm out of the room. It's like she hasn't made the connection herself that sugar is what's causing the smells because she has never let me once finish explaining it to her. She just can't listen to anything, only talk over you and shout our her own opinions over everyone. She also takes these huge big sniffs in front of me and gives me dark looks, even with other people around. She doesn't care or is completely insenstive to how conscious I might already be feeling, and singles me out in front of people without considering my feelings.


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