# A little worried...



## ashleighjordan (Apr 28, 2004)

Hi ladies, I'm a mess. I've been off the birth control pill for almost a year now, and I'm going through a bit of a scare. Over the last few months, my period hasn't been on a normal schedule - meaning it comes a couple of days later every month. This month, my period is 2 what seems to be two weeks late :When should I really start to worry about taking a pregnancy test? I'm trying not to stress about it because I know that can make things worse (ie. not come!) but it's so hard not to do...







Thanks so much...







Ashleigh


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## selenae25 (Apr 4, 2004)

Maybe you should just go buy a pregnancy test and take it, if it is negative you can relax knowing your period is just late. Your period sounds late enough that if you were pregnant it would show up on the pregnancy test. My period was irregular for over a year after stopping birthcontrol so maybe that is what is going on.


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## ashleighjordan (Apr 28, 2004)

Well, I'm pregnant - atleast that is what the 3 different home tests I took are telling me. I'm going to make an appointment to go in and see my doctor to get a blood test, I guess just to be even more positive and talk about some options. Today has got to be one of the scariest days of my life...














Ashleigh


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## selenae25 (Apr 4, 2004)

I sent you a pm. Things will get less scary, it's a big shock to find out your pregnant when its not planned.


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## *Luna* (Nov 19, 2001)

I just wanted to send you some




























I hope things go well with the doctor's appointment and that you are able to have some peace of mind , whatever the outcome.


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## Wes and Tracy (Apr 14, 1999)

Ashleigh, How are you doing? How are things going? What happened at the doctors?Wes


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## ashleighjordan (Apr 28, 2004)

Hi Wes, I'm definitely pregnant, and trying to stay calm and go through all of my options. It makes everything SO much easier having an extremely supportive boyfriend, but the fact that I could never provide for this baby right now scares the hell out of me







I just don't know what to think anymore. Every time I can get myself at least even a bit relaxed, something else pops into my head and I'm a stressed mess again. I wish all of this could be easier...and there wasn't SO MUCH to think about. This is the rest of my life....














Ashleigh


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## krislynn (Jun 19, 2004)

So you didnt want to get pregnant? Were you using other methods of birth control while off the pill? If I missed a day on birth control, I either used a condom or not have sex at all till I was back on track. Its amazing what you can do when you need to. My girlfriend got pregnant,,neither her or her boyfriend worked...But she made it thru the 9 months and things slowly got better. Adoption is always an option,,there are tons of wonderful couples who cannot conceive. I know if I had my first baby growing inside me, regardless if I was living on the streets,,there is no way I could ever part with it.


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## Tlyon (Feb 20, 2001)

Ashleigh,Becoming pregnant is a bit scary even in the best of situations. There are a thousand and one things to think about and consider. It is such a personal issue. Take your time and try not to panic. I wish you peace and wisdom. Take care!


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## Wes and Tracy (Apr 14, 1999)

"Adoption is always an option,,there are tons of wonderful couples who cannot conceive."I know this one couple in our church who have tried for over five years, only to find out they can never have kids of their own. Now they've been on an adoption waiting list for over a year and it may be 6-8 years more before they get picked. Great couple too, you just know some people are meant to be parents, they babysit our two all the time and they love it.Wes


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## krislynn (Jun 19, 2004)

I get so mad at my cousin for having an abortion at 21...cause she "wasnt ready" to have kids...Give me abreak..I am a young single woman,,and the last thing I would do is take a risk of getting pregnant. And if I ever did I would accept my responsibility..I would never use abortion as a form of birth control..that is downright murder. But my ciusin terminated the pregnancy,,and know what? ..Its a constant guilt hanging over her head. Like she could never be truly happy again, cause she made that decision...she always wished she had the baby and just tried to make ends meet financially.


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## bluesclues (Dec 30, 2001)

Just curious - how old are you?


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## kschultz (Jul 8, 2004)

Wishing you the strength to choose what's right for you. Any decision will be a difficult one.Anyone who hasn't been in this situation themselves is not in a position to judge or criticise.Krislynn your words speak louder than your disclaimer signature.


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## Julie55 (Jun 30, 2004)

I wish you the best in whatever decision you make. It is no doubt a big one and there is lots to think about. It's good to hear that you and your boyfriend are going through this together. I'll be thinking of you.Now, Krislyn! You are quite the hypocrite. Just as is mentioned in the post before mine your words speak much louder than the person you are trying to portray yourself to be. You may think you have things all figured out and that it would be easy for you to make a decision in this sort of situation, but I promise you that it would not be as easy as you think! Until you are in the situation and the consequences of all the possible decisions are going to be on you then you really have no right to judge. If you have a strong opinion on the topic, which you obviously do, do you think it makes you a rightious person to say it to someone who is struggling with it and needs a little support??? If this is a religious based opinion, I am not sure if it is or not, but if it is then you should consider the fact that we are all sinners and no one sin is greater than another in the eyes of God. Therefore you should leave the judgement up to him. Even if it is not religious based, I am sure you have made tough decisions in your life and would not need criticism at a time when you are struggling. I would encourage you to act more like the statement you wrote for your signature.


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## erin5983 (Mar 25, 2003)

Ashleigh,Wishing you the best, whatever you decide. I hope whatever decision you make is well-informed-- get all the information you can on whatever you choose to do.I'm thinking of you! An unplanned pregnancy would be devastating for me and my boyfriend, also, as we are only 21 and in college, so I feel where you are coming from as far as fear. Good luck and stay well.


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## krislynn (Jun 19, 2004)

Bluesclues: I am 28 years old. Tropigal & Julie:I was talking about my cousin and how I felt about her situation, and how she now feels about her decision. I am not a religous person and I do not go to church. I do not include religion in my own feelings of abortion.I believe in abortion as an option in certain cases. Cases of rape, baby in tubes or disease, extreme birth defects etc. I do believe abortion needs to be legal and allowed to be an option in circumstances beyond a persons control.I do not believe in it for unplanned pregnancies. I have seen too many people overcome obstacles in their lives to have an unplanned birth. From family members to friends to coworkers to neighbors.My next door neighbor and old boss is 28 and in fact had a 3 year old, a 5 month old, and wife got pregnant again unexpectedly. and then our company shut down..he had no jobs and no insurance...They are dealing with it and working hard everyday to make it through...When you want to make something work in your life, you do it. Yes its scary, yes its overwhleming, emotional, uncertain,,,but that is what life is about...you don't terminate something such as a life in your belly, because it wasn't planned. There are too many options and too much education to prevent pregnancies...And if for any reason it still happens a person needs to accept that responsibility...If getting pregnant accidentally would be devastating at a certain time in your life,,,then take every precaution not to let it happen,,or make that decision to limit sex, or whatever it takes....I was terrified at getting pregnant at 19, 21 etc...I limited my sexual activities with my boyfriend,,thats how scared I was of getting pregnant, So I will say it ,,if a single young woman decides she is responsible and ready to have sex,,,knowing what the consquences are, then she should be responsible and ready to deal with them if they occur. Call me a hypcotrite or whatever you want...just because I do not have the same thoughts as someone else does not make me a horrible person for stating that. People are allowed to think differently. If you believe a person who decides to have sex intentionally without a condom or some type of method, terminate the child because its not a good time in their life,,is perfectly ok..then that is you..I for one don't agree with abortion in that scenario with the knowledge and birth control that is available at every drug & grocery store..


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## erin5983 (Mar 25, 2003)

Krislynn, the problem is that unplanned pregnancies can still happen with forms of birth control. I have a friend who recently found out she was pregnant even though she takes the pill religiously and used condoms. When the condom broke one night, they figured at least they had the pill for backup. As it turned out, that was just not their night to depend on that and they ended up being one of the .5% or whatever it is that get pregnant while taking the pill the right way.I'm not disagreeing with you, krislynn, as it is your right to share how you feel on a certain topic and it's no one's place to call it "wrong" or "right." I just want to point out that sometimes accidents DO happen, and it really is impractical to think about using every sort of birth control method that is out there all at once. I do think that for me to get pregnant would be devastating, but I am taking numerous precautions against it...but accidents still happen.Regardless of if it was an accident or not, Ashleigh is still pregnant and still scared. So while I guess it is everyone's right to share what they think she should do, I think our first action should be to support her to make an informed decision.Ashleigh, there was a similar thread a while back on this on The Meeting Place sometime earlier this summer where a member found herself with an unplanned pregnancy. I'll see if I can find the thread, but it might be gone by now.


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## krislynn (Jun 19, 2004)

I agree that accidents happen. Birth control can fail.. I had a pregancy scare myself, so I understand the anxiety and fear, and the horrific sick to my stomach worry and having an obsession with HPTs..I had one that came back positive, and I was late...Turned out it was a fibroid tumor, but I still thought I was pregnant. I lived alone, made no money, and the guy was not my boyfriend. But till that blood test came back,,I believed I was pregnant and because I was the one who decided to have sex in the first place,,I most definitely would have had that baby,,,alone...So i have been exposed enough to unplanned pregnancy to know what I would do. But knowing that accidents DO happen and birth control is not 100% in any case,,, before we engage in sex with our partner, we should be able to accept that consquence cause we all know it possible to still get pregnant as long as you have sex...That is being a responsible adult..I do believe abortion has a place in certain areas of the medical field and this has nothing to do with my feeling on God or religion. Its about making sex a choice in your life.I am repeating myself..I just believe to use abortion after an unplanned pregnancy is wrong. Since most young adults are well informed about sex & birth control and other ways to be intimate if the risk is just too much for someone. For someone to use the rythym method (scenario) for several months and be a nervous reck about the risk of getting pregnant,,then to still take that chance and not be able to deal with having that baby,,,is completely wrong to choose abortion in that case....my opinion only.


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## *Luna* (Nov 19, 2001)

A Catholic joke...What do you call people who use the rhythm method?.... Parents!My Catholic family has certainly seen how effective and not effective that method can be! But I don't think we're debating that method, or even know that anyone used it.No birth control is infallible, no matter how careful you are. And while it's rare, you can get pregnant without actually having sex. I know someone who got pregnant after some intense fooling around...if that sperm gets close enough sometimes they can make a swim for it and find the egg.DH and I were discussing the issue today after seeing a vehicle plastered with pro-life bumper stickers. It's a very personal choice and none of us knows all the circumstances for someone else. For instance, if I was faced with an unwanted pregnancy when I was taking medication that could have really harmed embryonic development, that would have influenced my decision. It's one thing to have a baby when you're not ready to, and it's another thing to have a baby with severe birth defects when you could barely handle a healthy baby. Abortion should never be seen as birth control but it needs to be an option for some people. Other options should be considered as well...open adoption is one that would have appealed to me if I had become pregnant at some stages of my life. At other times I don't know if I could have gone through a pregnancy, physically and mentally. Fortunately the pill plus condoms worked for me and I never had to contemplate my choices as carefully.Ashleigh is in a very difficult situation right now and I just want to offer support for her, whatever decisions she is contemplating.







(((Ashleigh)))







That other post in the meeting place was by LisaK. I think there is a link to it in one of her more recent posts. Lisa decided to have the baby alone, and from what she said in her posts I sensed that she did want the baby deep down but was very scared and needed courage to do it. I'm not getting a vibe either way from Ashleigh, but this is a rough time for her no matter what she chooses.


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## Julie55 (Jun 30, 2004)

Krislyn, Despite the issue about whether abortion is right or wrong and despite whatever beliefs you may have on the issue. This is a SUPPORT group bulliten board! If you do not feel like you can support someone who makes a post then simply don't reply. You do not know what decision she will make but I can promise you that comming on here and saying that she would be murdering her baby (and those were your words) is not going to make her see things your way. She said she was concidering her options, so if you want to support her then great. Even tell a good adoption story so she might not be so afraid of that option. But if you can't be supportive then don't reply on a support group bulliten board.


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## krislynn (Jun 19, 2004)

Julie55, I cannot count the number of times I have posted about something on this board, and gotten opinions against me..Thats just the way it is on a message board. If you don't want opinions from all angles, then don't splatter your life on a public board... I am more than welcome to share my thoughts on matters...and even if no one agrees with it, who really cares???....its not like I am in anyone's daily life..I just find it a little strange to practice unsafe sex then being freaked out by a pregnancy.. I never addressed Ashleigh personally, I was generalizing. Regardless, don't worry so much about what I think. If anyone here takes to heart something said on a message board from a stranger, then they have other issues.


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## Julie55 (Jun 30, 2004)

Krislyn, I really don't care what you think about the topic so there is no need to go on about that. I was simply talking about being supportive on this site. Obviously you didn't get that but it's ok.


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## Wes and Tracy (Apr 14, 1999)

Sometimes support is the honest answer you may not want to hear.Of course we could all live in a world where people will pat you on the back no matter what you do, but how authentic is that or how helpful is it to be supported in doing something wrong or harmful. "HI, I'm wes and I have a drinking problem.""Hey there wes, I support you, here's a budweiser"It's not supportive if it's unhealthy.Wes


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## ashleighjordan (Apr 28, 2004)

Thank you so much to everyone who has given me their support and kind words.I miscarried. I have an appointment for a D&C (if that's what they're called) first thing tomorrow morning. I have thought about every single option out there that is available to me, almost 100000 times each, and came to the conclusion that I was NOT ready to go through with this pregnancy. Whether I decided to go through with an abortion, or adoption...it was MY choice that only I was going to make. I am totally PRO abortion, as I believe that any woman has the right to choose. I cannot even afford to take care of MYSELF right now, how could I afford a new baby? I live at home, I work for a decent company with lots of room for advancement...but the money and everything else needed to take care of a brand new life just isn't there. Im really scared and feel as if I've lost a part of myself. I thought that I was only 4 weeks pregnant, but got my blood results back and learned that I was almost 9 weeks.







Krislynn, I see that you are extremely ANTI abortion, and that is fine as they are your opinions and thoughts on that topic. I fully disagree, and that is my opinion. I do believe, though... that using abortion as a form of birth control disgusts me and is certainly wrong, but for younger people who become pregnant through either no fault of their own, or cannot keep their baby due to whatever reasons...i am very happy that that option is there. Sigh...I'll update more when I have a clearer head. Again, thank you all for everything here. It means more than you'll ever know.







Ashleigh


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## andrel07 (Dec 3, 2002)

Ashleigh , I'm so sorry to hear that you miscarried.....







I can't imagine what a rollercoaster of emotions you have experienced recently.Take Care of yourself.Leanne


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## JoanneThomas (Jan 17, 2002)

Ashleigh.what a difficult time for you.Hope it all goes/ has gone well for you today.


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## Wes and Tracy (Apr 14, 1999)

We'll be thinking of you today.We've gone through 4 misscarriages, and know that it can be extremely emotional, even if you didn't want the pregnancy.Wes


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