# I feel completely useless



## Guest (Feb 26, 2009)

I know some folk are superwomen and men, juggling demanding careers and family commitments - today I have been offered an opportunity - or at least an interview to discuss a much more demanding and time-consuming role.I have spent most of the day (when I should have been concentrating on my clients) trying to come to a sensible way of trying to work more or less full-time whilst giving my children - particularly my little 9 year old - a decent quality of life.I'm abit old-fashioned - but I passionately believe that the children are entitled to a sympathetic ear and a slice of toast at the end of a long day. Now of course my 18 and 16 year olds are perfectly capable of sorting themselves out for a while til I return from a day's toil. During the school term time - there is a good after-school club that the wee one could go to - but what on earth to do during the holidays - particularly the long 6 week break during the summer.I have tried all the usual stand-bys - at one time we had 3 teenagers who came and held the fort while I did an evening job at a solicitor's office - it was absolutely horrendous - not the job - but the will they/won't they come before I am late for work?It is hopeless leaving minding Soph up to the older kids - frankly, thats not fair on more than an ad-hoc basis and they are not reliable enough and in a way why should they be?Then there is the doggie - what to do with him - surely I can't shut him up for over 8 hours at a time?I'm abit of a control freak - I don't like coming back to a messy house and I know how quickly this place would descend into utter chaos if I didn't get in til after 6 at night.So - where does that leave me - well probably sticking to our original plan for me to carry on with the part-time role til Soph is old enough to be left - probably once she's at high school in 2 1/2 years' time.Trouble is - once you've dipped your toe into the water and seen the possibilities and frankly the extra money I could and probably should be earning - you are then faced with guilt from every angle.Paul, god bless him - has been nothing but supportive - both recently and throughout the horrors of my mental illness - but I know he wants me to be earning more - trouble is - the childcare will and always has come down to be - so the playing field is far from even.I suppose I'm like every other working mum on the planet and frankly this country is a disgrace when it comes down to affordable childcare - but it doesn't make it any easier even if, like me - you are pretty well qualified.Sue


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## baz22p (Dec 1, 2008)

Sue, to respond to the title of this thread - do NOT feel completely useless because you are doing the worlds' toughest job......you are being a MUM.When Sarah was Sophs' age (before we were married), Liz was working as a garden centre supervisor, but she could only be in that position because of the flexibilty. If that wasn't there, it would have been a NO-NO. Out of the 2 options, I would say that a full-time job is taking the easy way out......don't do yourself down!Being at home may be unpaid but it is the position of the greatest value (I know, I'm trying it).Baz


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## Guest (Feb 26, 2009)

Well thanks Baz - I appreciate your support.Sue


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## Poo Pea 4 (Feb 10, 2009)

Well I dont think your useless at all Sue.... i think your an amazing person with so much to give. your so amazing everyone loves to have a peice of your time. but you need to also take care of yourself. opportunities will come and go.... but happieness and a stable mental health is crucial. only you truley know how much you can put on your plate and still be ok....i think your a very smart and capable lady and will make the decision that is right for you at the time...... cause thats all we can ever do.... is make the decision that we think is right at that exact moment in time.HUGS AND KISSES


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## Guest (Mar 3, 2009)

Poo - what a very nice thing to say and you are right (not about me being smart and capable!!!) - about having to find summat right for me. I suppose I have to remember that well though I am now - I don't want to jeopadise this by taking on a job thats just too much.I appreciate your post and hope you are doing OK.Sue xxx


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