# IBS and Dating



## 14733 (Jun 12, 2005)

How in the world does anyone have a social life while living with this disorder??


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## 17705 (Mar 27, 2006)

Hi KarenLynn, welcome to the site.







It's not easy. I'm glad i'm married so I don't have to go through that anymore. When I was dating, I would excuse myself often.







When I knew the person well enough, I told the person I had IBS. I never got a bad reaction.Good Luck to you!


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## 20633 (Aug 8, 2005)

Karen,It is definitley hard, and I have gotten through many a date with immodium. I try and really plan the date around being comfortable, not putting myself in situations full of panick, and always having an escape route. It is especially difficult going on a date and eating, so I usually try and avoid first dates full of food and go straight for the movie/theater. Think public places, lots of immodium and an gradual steps toward more daring things. On the bright side it forces you to really examine the person you are dating from a different persepective than most people, and allows for you not to rush into anything. Good Luck!!


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## Craig_J (Nov 14, 2005)

I feel the same, especially when it comes to dating. Got so fed up, I created this www.irritatedbeingsingle.comIt's only been running for just over two weeks but there are a good number of members on there. Maybe you can meet someone via it.


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## 23554 (Feb 20, 2006)

cool site Craig,i am a member..I guess we need more publicity..i even have a tagline for the campaignNever Judge a Book by it's ODOUR







LOL..


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## Craig_J (Nov 14, 2005)

If you have any ideas to help advertise the site that would be great. I'm on a very tight budget though.An article will be published in the next issue of Gut Reaction in the UK (a quarterly IBS magazine). I'm going to do the same for the local press before trying the National ones.


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## Glenda (Aug 15, 2000)

I have been married for almost 30 years now.And my sweet husband has had to put up with alot with all my bad bathroom habits.He has gone out of his way to help me when I needed it.I think just having a caring partner is helpfull when you have IBS .


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## 21622 (Jun 5, 2005)

Hey.I also find it extremely hard to date, as IBS can slowly start to take over your life...ITs been over 2 years now and the thought of going on a "date" scares me...Im much better when Im with friends, as I feel that most times I can slip out at any time...and no one would really mind or notice if I gal out of 10 goes missing....but you cant really bail on your own date....or can you.lol. Im 19 and always complain to my mom that I will be old and alone..Sometimes this thought seems so real....If I knew everything would work out in the end I might not worry as much. But simple things such as working, going to school, or dating almost seem impossible to me at this time....


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## 21912 (Apr 5, 2006)

> quote:Reply


I make pretty open plans. I am a bit flaky anyway and that tends to bail me out. Taking your own car on dates is comforting. What is tough though is that people are not open about these issues so we are not able to meet dates that can relate.


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## 23554 (Feb 20, 2006)

Craig,Not sure about other cost effective avenues of advertising,but u might want to discuss with jeff (he manages this site).If he finds it appropriate to bring the topic to the top of the relavent discussion board, then it will be good publicity.May be you can give a discount to members from the board ...I appreciate your effort and think we really need one.I would suggest ,the best way is to differntiate it from a purely commercial site.good luck


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## paul762 (Jan 4, 2004)

I think you should also emphasise the welcome for people who dont mind dating people with gut problems also.just a thought that might add more members.


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## 21488 (Mar 30, 2006)

I've had some horrid dates where I have gotten ill and had to excuse myself for a longer than normal visit to the bathroom. AWFUL!!Now I'm engaged to a guy who has similar problems to me, so I am not embarressed about it, it also helps he is really easy going about it all. You'll find someone who doesn't care a hoot about your IBS and they'll be the one worth keeping for that very reason (ie obviously a good guy)


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## Glenda (Aug 15, 2000)

My IBS was just rearing it's nasty side when I got married almost 30 years ago.I was on my honeymoon and I had an attack of "D". I got flushed and passed out on the toilet and fell forward into the bath tub and pooped all over the floor.My new husband ran into the bathroom to find me passed out in the tub.When I came to I had an awefull mess to clean up on the floor.Just one of my many horror stories about IBS "D".Glenda


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## 23308 (Apr 6, 2006)

Dating and IBS is tricky....but manageable.....immodium is a life savor...took if before i even left the house and attempted to prevent the whole thing......worked for me







....haha


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## 23429 (Apr 9, 2006)

Oh Glenda! How awful! Thank God you had a loving husband to help you out. I too have had some bad "D" experiences. Luckily I have a boyfriend who is understanding and will do what ever he can to help me out, including running on foot to the drug store in the rain to get me immodium.


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## 17190 (Apr 1, 2006)

My last husband was not at all understanding. he insisted that I was making myself sick. The marriage lasted 12 years.My present husband is 20+ years older than I am, and because of health issues, I am his caretaker. He has always been kind and thoughtful. Even now, at his advanced age (82) he spends time rubbing my back and tummy when I hurt.When I first started dating him, my IBS was under control. The last few years, my IBS has really given me a hard time. I think it is a combination stress and menopause that has caused the increase of symptoms. I do the best I can to deal with it. What else is there to do?


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## 16701 (Feb 9, 2006)

I think if you are doing the dating site that you should have a free "trial period". I don't know if you can but I don't want to pay money when I have no idea what kind of people are signing up. Plus I live in America and it seems like the site is aimed a lot more for people from Europe. The spelling and the currency.


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## Craig_J (Nov 14, 2005)

Hi Everymoment. The site is based for those with IBS, Crohn's Disease, Coeliac Disease, UC, and other bowel conditions. The reason it probably seems English, is that I live in England, so all the spelling will be English rather than American. However, I can tell you that most of the members on the site are from the US, at the moment.As for the pricing, Paypal convert the payment in to whatever currency you need. The prices are very cheap especially compared to other sites such as Match.com and Dating direct.com. They're a complete rip off with what they charge and in the case of one of them, you don't get to do much if you don't pay something. Irritated Being Single does also give you two weeks free trial as soon as your account is activated. That gives you two weeks to browse other single people and email them without paying a single penny. I hope this may persuede you to use the site. The more people that sign up, the more a vibrant place it will be to search for other single people.


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## 19533 (Mar 14, 2006)

hi nerfmom, I am new here my name is sarah and I was just reading your post and couldnt help but reply. I have been married for 15 years this november I had IBS when I met and married my husband, in all fairness to him in the first 6-7 years he was great and very accepting now he doesnt really help at all i guess people get tired of hearing the same thing over and over, it does make me mad but you are right what else can you do, you cant make someone care, I think now our kids are grown up and I am still restricted to having a controlled life he is feeling the pinch, I think now hes getting older he wants more from life than just taking care of me, who can blame him, but isnt in sickness and in health supposed to mean just that? well the way I look at it after much soul searching is he can take it or leave it, I will have this with or without him and he knows exactly where the door is


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## 23298 (Mar 20, 2006)

well said Woolly!!!ive just gotten back into the dating scene, and i had been finding the situation very stressful, the thought of telling some one i hardly knew about my problems was just pure scarey!! But i finally realised, like you said, i'll have ibs regardless, of anything anyone says or does. so i've adopted a new, like it or lump it attitude. it's part of who i am and if they can't accept that then i don't have time for them in my life!!!


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## Glenda (Aug 15, 2000)

My husband has picked me up off the floor many a time from passing out from IBS "D".It was terribly upsetting to have my husband see my poop all over the floor.Bless his hearet he just ignored that and picked me up and set me on the bed to rest till my dizzy spell passed.I hate having IBS. It can really reak havoc on a person.


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## 17190 (Apr 1, 2006)

I think it is because my husband is an older man, he is more sensitive. I am actually his caretaker. He has many health problems including a seizure disorder. He doesn't take care of me, but is understanding when I am having a bad day. We don't have a big social life and that is fine for both of us.About 10 years ago, we spent 2 years in a motor home. It was great when we traveled! After all, we always had a bathroom with us. for someome with IBS, it is a good way to be able to travel.


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## nelly2 (Dec 19, 2003)

I didn't marry until July of last year at the ripe old age of 36







I dated for a long time before I met my husband, and the fear of having D on a date was almost as bad as having it. I did online dating for a time. It had its negative points, but a plus was being able to arrive in separate cars for the first few dates. It was just customary for safety reasons. I felt better knowing if I absolutely had to leave, I had a way out of the situation. It calmed my nerves a bit. I was also very careful about the food choices I made during the 24 hours leading up to the date.I think for people with stomach issues, it's a good idea to seek out companions with easy going personalities. When I met my husband, he just seemed at ease with everything. But, he is Jewish and his family has between 50 and 60 sitdown meals per year. Yikes! That's lots of people with limited bathroom space in conjunction with my anxiety. I wondered if I could handle it. But, on days when I had D, I just told him that my stomach was upset. He didn't seem bothered by it. Now, when my issues come up, sometimes he does the family thing alone and sometimes he hangs out with me. I wouldn't be able to handle a mate who did not have that kind of flexibility. I had to kiss alot of frogs to find him, but it was worth it.


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## 17176 (Mar 31, 2005)

Hello and welcome all the new members


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## 17075 (Apr 19, 2006)

I am new to this website and am so enjoying reading the responses. Seems like just about every one hits me on the head! I am 60 years old, single female and would love to start dating but like you, SCARED! Well, I have a date tomorrow night and am trying not to stress about it. I won't eat today, will take a few immodium tonight and tomorrow and hope for the best. I have asked myself everyday for 10 days why I agreed to go out with this man. I'm thinking that no one really understands, especially when first dating! Maybe there is a reason that God has me alone for 15 years! Thanks for listening, all. Pray that all goes well tomorrow night!


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## 14733 (Jun 12, 2005)

Good for you verleenk!!!! Try to relax and have a wonderful time. Let us all know how it goes!


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## 16734 (Apr 25, 2006)

Sorry you are struggling with this. I have been dealing with it since I was 20 (now 28) so most of my dating life I had to ask myself these questions. I took plenty of Imodium to get through meals. I also have celiac disease so once I figured out my dietary restrictions that helped some. The times where I did get sick, my dates were always very understanding. With my husband (just got married 2 weeks ago) I was very upfront about it. I think it is hard for him to understand but men don't usually get grossed out by these things. He is sympathetic and helpful. You will find a partner who is the same when it's the right time. This will help you weed out the apathetic jerks a lot quicker


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## 17075 (Apr 19, 2006)

Well, I am reporting back! Starting Saturday morning I took several Immodium's because I was to walk in the Susan B. Komen Race for the Cure. Was fine through that! Had my date Saturday night and even got brave and had prime rib! I had taken Immodium before leave just as a precautionary and had no problems. But I did a heck of a lot of praying before hand! This man's wife died of colon cancer two years ago, so I believe he would be understanding. Still, keep wishing me luck!! And thanks again for the support and listening. You all have no idea how much I appreciate this board!


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## 23170 (Jan 8, 2006)

Hi, Karen a good thread starter it certainly is very difficult dating with IBS. Myself I have a realtionship with my Turkish lady she is so good to me, we met through a chat service ICQ which started as just a friendship but developed more and into a relationship, she understands my IBS which is trully great she also is so caring. I dread my next trip infact to Turkey I am already getting nervous with two months to go, I am also looking forward to meeting her. It is not easy at all dating you get drawn into your own world of feelings, constantly thinking am I going to be okay, I hope my symptoms lay off for some off the time I am away. I look upon it as if I am ill with my IBS I am when I travel I think in some ways to think like this as strange as it may seem does help, try not to put too much stress on yourself by thinking I am going to be ill, if you are you are and there is nothing you can do about it just try and get through it and onto the next day. I look only to the next day with my IBS, some days I cannot go out of the house due to the diahorea but I do make myself go out and meet people and we all want a loved one in our lives however hard it is to date


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## 14733 (Jun 12, 2005)

When I posted this topic I did not realize I was in such good company. So many great comments and suggestions! Thanks so much for sharing your stories. This board has made a tremendous difference in my life, what a great, supportive network we have in this forum!


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## 23001 (Apr 28, 2006)

I'm married and luckily my husband is really as understanding as it gets. It's not a "dating" story but I wanted to share- We traveled to Montana this summer and I ate at McDonalds in the airport. I wasn't diagnosed yet with IBS-D and ate a salad with Ranch dressing. I didn't think I was going to be able to get on the plane! It was so awful, I spent the 2 hours before the plane boarded in the bathroom. I was freaking out I would have to be in the bathroom on a plane for the rest of our trip.Luckily he found me some Immodium he walked all over the airport. I will never be ill prepared again!!!!!


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