# Dating makes me nervous



## britt21 (May 8, 2004)

I've been dating the same guy for 3 years- actually my ibs started just a little while after I met him. At first I hid it from him, and made excuses to stop by my apartment to "pick something up" or "change clothes" just so that I could use the restroom. Finally, though I told him about it and he completely understood. But my ibs has gotten much worse since then. We have alot of problems and alot of times I feel like I am only staying in this relationship because I could never tell anyone else about my problem. My stomach is constantly making noises-through movies and sleeping and eating-basically everything you do with someone you date. How do you explain that? I can't even go out to eat! I have not gound any diet that works for me. I eat and I WILL be using the restroom for a while. Anyway, my boyfriend and I have broken up a few times and I have tried dating other people, but that just stresses me out and makes my ibs worse!! So I always end up going back. It's a horrible cycle. What are some dating tips?


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## Robbie_UK (Apr 20, 2004)

Is alcohol bad for you? It relaxes me somewhat and helps to reduce the severity of the symptoms (like stomach noises). If it doesnt mess you up, drink a glass of good wine (perhaps half a glass) before a date, it may relax you significantly. You could also try using dicyclomine, loperamide, or simethicone to ease your symptoms. I have used loperamide-simethicone products which work so well i forget I have this thing. An example of loperimide based substance is Imodium (which has simethicone as well, to help with gas and stomach noises). A stronger substance is dicyclomine products such as Bentyl and Levsin, i have read that these work well. If the worst comes to the worst maybe get a prescription for a valium based prodct but this is a little extreme. Read this forum and surf the net theres a lot of info around. Hope it all works out.


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## FastLane (Dec 9, 2003)

Have you been trying to figure out if you have food intolerances like lactose intolerance? Sometimes if you eat something you can't tolerate at one meal, you will get sick the next meal too regardless and they can be hard to find. It's probably just IBS and stress though, it's such a rough cycle.As far as dating goes, you really need to try to be more comfortable with your IBS first. Have you been able to tell friends about it? What were their reactions? Most likely, you will be very surprised how most people are understanding especially recently as IBS gets more press with the emergence of drugs like Zelnorm.When it comes to dating new people, everyone is nervous, so don't think you are the only one. If you are worried about the affects of eating, then try to plan non-eating events like roller skating or a basball game, something where you can go to the restroom if you need to without feeling like you are messing up the date and where your stomach noises are not noticable. Also, take the advice of Robbie and see if you can't find a prescription or OTC drug that makes you feel better. I happen to like levsin as it relaxes your stomach and intestinal muscles so you feel better. Talk to your doctor and ask him if he can think of something that might help your symptoms on an as needed basis. Even getting a script for a valium like drug (like Xanax, which I also use) isn't a bad idea as it will stop the stress and thus the reaction to it. Talk to a psychiatrist if you think that might help you.But don't think that you need drugs to make it through this, all you need really is a little faith and fortitude. Maybe try making a date with someone who you really are not that interested in as a practice date. I know, its a little mean to the guy, but if you don't care as much what he thinks, you will be more likely to relax and learn what it can feel like to have a good experience. Sticking in a relationship because you feel comofortable is normal, but not healthy in the long run. Get out there and know that you can and will find men to date who will understand and respect your problem just as much and more as the man you are dating now.


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