# Should I still have kids even though I have IBS?



## arrrgh (Jul 26, 2002)

I need your advice ladies. I am afaid my IBS-d will get worse. So far I mostly just have Loose BM's anywhere from 1- 4 times a day. I wanted to try to conceive sometime about a year from now, but now I am terrified to have a baby. What if I am out alone and have to run to the bathroom. What do I do with the baby? What if they get older and want me to go to sports events and things where there is not bathroom. I'd feel horrible missing out on things. THen there's the fact that my In laws live 5 hours away. I haven't made the trip since I started having these symptoms 2 months ago. How will I make a 5 hour drive, part of which is on the beltway and part in the moutains where there are no trees etc on the side of the road?? I havn't had uncontrollable D yet, but I read so much in here and am worried it's going to get worse. So should I just give up the idea of kids now or what?Sara


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## Jeanne D (Nov 14, 2001)

Well Sara,If you really want kids, I wouldn't let IBS stop you.There is a chance that things could get better too.When you have kids you make the adjustment. You just have to take it day by day, and not worry about things that may or may not happen. I know it isn't easy, I'm a worrier too, but I think you will find you are a lot stronger and more capable of handling motherhood than you think.It's up to you of course, and I wish you good health, happiness, and success whatever you decide to do.(((((HUGS))))Jeanne


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## JennT (Jul 17, 2000)

Sara,I have IBS-D, and I'm pregnant with my first (and probably only) kid. I'd recommend getting your IBS under control if possible (as mine was before I got pregnant), but if not, well... you take what you can get. Let me tell you what I did.I figured out (took a year) what my triggers are. In my case, they're 90% food-based - cows' milk and "gassy" foods, mostly, along with some artificial sweeteners. The other 10% for me tends to be unusual stress - day-to-day stress won't do it - but oh, say... eathquakes, terrorist attacks, that sort of thing will.Once I figured this out, I was pretty much under control - I'd still have an attack once every couple of months or so, but one trip to the bathroom and I'd be done for the day (unless I did something stupid like eat a trigger food, for instance).Since I've been pregnant, there are a few of my usual safe foods that I cannot cope with (I suspect it's pregnancy) and a few of my usual trigger foods than I can cope with (at least this week







). I imagine this changes as my body does. Whether you're up to it is up to you, of course... I did make sure that I was feeling good most of the time first, but I didn't do anything special...


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## jane93 (Jan 21, 2000)

I'm also pregnant with alternating C/D. I have it somewhat under control thanks to changes in food and the hypno tapes. If you think anxiety is in anyway part of your IBS then I highly recommend them. They have made me 80% better and feel like I can cope most of the time.I have worried more that my kid will inherit IBS than whether I can deal with the routine part of having a kid so far. I'm hoping that having a kid will help take the focus off myself and onto someone else and thus lessen my anxiety about my IBS..but it will probably change what I think about to anxiety about schools..daycare etc! I hate to hear people say that "I can't do something becase I have IBS"..but I do understand as I've been there. I'm pretty determined most of the time to try to let it affect me as little as possible. A lot of it for me was about thinking positively and learning how to deal with anxiety and stress. Of course not all days are as easy.I too have found that my dietary triggers are now different...I can eat dairy in moderation..but no spicy food even mildly spicy mexican food or corn chips.I still have my doubts despite this of course..but then I think that is the way life is.


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## Homebound (Jan 27, 2000)

I didn't really get to worry about how I would deal with everyday life and having IBS. Since my IBS started 6 months after my son was born. It's been hard, but for the most part if I've been out in public he just goes in to the bathroom with me when I'm sick. Or we get home in a hurry! He's 4 now, and I know I have a lot of things in the future to worry about though. Like getting him to school and back. What if I wake up sick in the morning? That kind of thing. And of course sports events too. All I know I can do is the best I can.I was pregnant again last year, but miscarried at 7 weeks. Let me tell you those weeks were very hard on me. I don't believe in taking anything unless I ABSOLUTELY have to during pregnancy. Which to me meant no Immodium. I wanted to ride out the attacks. So I basically had pain and terrible D daily. I had a hard time going anywhere. But in my first pregnancy I became very C during the second trimester and third. So I was waiting for that to kick again. I just didn't get that far.







I have so many health problems right now, I'm seriously considering just having our one son. I don't even think my body couldn't handle another pregnancy at this point. I'm hoping someday it can, maybe someday I'll feel better enough to try again.But my advice is to not let IBS get in the way of your dreams. Do the best you can, and that's all any of us can do!


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## arrrgh (Jul 26, 2002)

Thanks for your comments so far. I just can't imagine how much harder it will be to raise a child if this gets worse. Right now I only have loose stools, and the urgency and frequency has seemed to be calmed by the Calcium, though my stools are still soft. But I am terrified my symptoms will get worse. I have only been experiencing this since May. I got progressivly worse than stayed bad for a few weeks and slowly when I started taking calcium, it has eased off some. The excess gas is mostly gone, the bloating is gone, the pain is not near as bad, but I just still can't get back to regular BM's! I can not link my attacks to any food. I have been keeping a food diary for months and I just don't see any connection! So as far as getting it under control before trying to have a baby, how do I do that?? I mean the Calcium has it under control now, but I have read that some things work for a while then quit! What if that happens? I am so scared this is going to be worse. We can not afford for me not to work. Especially if we have kids. I am already afraid my husband (only been married since May, this stared on our Honeymoon!) will get disgusted by me and leave. I feel so un sexy and worry non stop about all this.Sara


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## JennT (Jul 17, 2000)

It sounds to me like you definitely have a whole lot of anxiety about this, which can turn it into a vicious cycle. If it helps any, I caought the bug that triggered my IBS on my honeymoon, and Mr. JennT still seems to like me just fine... in fact I'm pregnant and we just celebrated our tenth wedding anniversary.If you can, I highly recommend doing not only a food diary, but starting an elimination diet (or going through LEAP if you can) to test for food intolerances. I started with rice and bananas and added a food a week until I figured out my triggers. There were a few that were closely enough related chemically that my GI said they were fine - for instance, if you tolerate peaches well, nectarines are okay too...Anyway, I'd suggest more testing, whether by yourself, or with help from a doctor. And try not to panic. I know it's hard but sometimes it really helps...


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## jane93 (Jan 21, 2000)

The good news is if you've only had this since May it may not be IBS right? Get tested for parasites and other things by your doctor.If anxiety is a big factor I think the hypnotherapy tapes will help you a lot (check out the CBT/hypnotherapy forum)..they gave me my life back.Jane


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## *Luna* (Nov 19, 2001)

You could have gotten something on your honeymoon. Please see a dr, tell him or her your full history and especially if this started on a trip abroad. You need a stool sample tested if that hasn't been done already.


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## Coggie (Dec 28, 2000)

By all means!I felt the same way, faced the same fears when I found out I was pregnant last year in June.But I wanted children, a baby so badly, it doesn't matter if I'm an invalid, paraplegic, whatever.People get by. They figure out a way.Remember, if you have an accident, you can always use your baby's wet wipes in your diaper bag, use the handicapped stall to clean up and not ever worry people will think the smell is from you.


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## Cindy Pooh (Sep 3, 1999)

You have to find a doctor and determine if you even have IBS....IBS can mimic so many other illnesses and only through a process of elimination can IBS be diagnosed....Don't let what you read here scare you - everyone has different triggers and different responses so because one person has it bad doesn't mean it will happen to you.....I've had IBS since I was 21 and I have two beautiful daughters 7 and 2....It hasn't affected my ability to take care of them.....If you do have IBS there are ways to make it bearable.....but first please go to a doctor and find out because it could be something that can be cured!!! Good luck and let us know how you're doing!!


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## LJones (May 30, 2002)

Does anyone know if it's possible to pass it on to your children, or if IBS is a hereditary thing?I'm kind of afraid to get pregnant because I don't want my kids to go through this.


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## arrrgh (Jul 26, 2002)

I have been to the doctor. I have been tested for parasites, though from what I read the test wasn't very thourogh, and I am going to get further testing. Unfortunantly I am almost out of leave for the year, so I am trying to find a way around that... Anyway, My doctor says its IBS and doesn't want to do any more testing. I have asked several times, she said unless I start having more serious symptoms (like blood or more pain, since I don't have a lot of pain) there is no need for a colonoscopy or any other of the invasive test. Again, my mother has IBS and she raised 4 kids, I guess it just makes me nervous.. Really I very rarely have even full fledged D, but I don't know it seems hard to raise a child and do all the fun stuff while constantly worrying about going to the bathroom!Sara


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## Fay (Jan 11, 2001)

Hi Sara,I've had IBS-D since my teens (am now 46). I've had two sons who are now 16 and 15. While there are times when the D-attacks hinder what you want to do, and my sons have got used to me having to go to a toilet whenever we ventured downtown, it is absolutely possible to live life as full as possible. Neither one of the boys has D-problems. Please don't let IBS ruin your life expectancies, having IBS is a drag, but it shouldn't rule your life.Fay


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## ImpactAngela (Jun 3, 2002)

How are you doing now?My husband and I are trying to conceive - I've had IBS for a little over 6 months now. I know only of a few food triggers at this point, and have also had a lot of frustration over it. I take Modulon 2-3 times a day and calcium supplements. For the last few weeks, I've started drinking 1-2 litres of water a day and am now having semi-regular bowl movements, and feeling a lot better. I guess the water is really cleaing out my system, which is perhaps what I needed! Do you drink alot of water?


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## arrrgh (Jul 26, 2002)

ImpactAngela,I am still a little worried, but was not planning to try to conceive till this winter anyway. I have been helped by the calcium too. I am trying to up my water in take. Maybe it will help.







Sara


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## seals (Aug 20, 2002)

I agree that it is important to go to a doctor and have them do the routine checks, colonoscopy,sigmoidoscopy, barium enema etc. after they've ruled out any other diseases and done tests forparasites.I've had so many doctors and advice from every joewho can conjure up a "new" idea or cure. If you truly have IBS, it is tough, but I couldn't let it stop me from having children. I have 3 boys, and life doesn't stand still for me and my problem, but my husband is super supportive and he picks up the slack. It is imperative that your spouse is a caring person who is compassionate, because it is difficult with breastfeeding and hormonal changes, sometimes the IBS can get kind of unpredictable, but I wouldn't trade my kids for anything.


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## Richman516 (Aug 25, 2002)

Don't let IBS get in your way. I developed IBS-D when my son was 4 months old and he is almost 4 now. I used to let IBS get in the way. I don't now. I even took a 3 hour rode trip to an amusement park, which was my first trip with my son. I decided to keep wipes, garbage bags and a change of clothes in the car, just in case. Having the supplies helped me feel that everything would be all right no matter what and it was. I learned the best time to travel for me, eat, etc. Be sensitive to your IBS patterns, they will help you cope. We are even thinking about having another child. Children are worth it. I would recommend talking to you OB/GYN about your concerns and begin taking a prenatal vitamin before trying to conceive. I started it early to see how my body responds to it, so I can feel more confident before I'm pregnant. Good luck! Lara


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## Coggie (Dec 28, 2000)

It's not hereditary.


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## arrrgh (Jul 26, 2002)

Lara- Thanks for you input. I am still thinking but really have been feeling better lately and still don't know if I have IBS or not. But I do want to have kids.Coggie- I didn't think it was hereditary. I am not neccessarily worried about passing it on, as much as dealing with it and a child!Sarah


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## mysti (Jul 30, 2002)

We were considering having another child, but I was taking Robinul. I don't like the idea of taking meds while I'm preg or after I deliver b/c I wanna breastfeed and you can breastfeed while taking Robinul. Someone on this site mentioned that they started taking magnesium and it helped them. I'm been taking 250mg magnesium for the last month & 1/2 w/ preg. vitamins. I also quit taking Robinul. I feel so much better and my energy is back. I can even eat a limited amount of my NO, NO foods. Magnesisium is a whole lot cheaper too. Thankyou to who ever mentioned it, and to everyone for all there support. We're tring to have another baby!


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## PippylongStockings (Jun 6, 2002)

If you want a baby go for it. As long as you can physically care for it then IBS shouldn't be a problem. Weird as this sounds I would buy an extra carseat/play pin whatever you put them in depending on the age and put it in your bathroom(if you have the room) so you can run to the bathroom with them. Most people's bathrooms aren't that big so if you keep it clean and things out of the way once they start moving around they can play on the floor. Hey you do what you have to. Later on in life just stock up on immodium and don't eat much. You'll find a way and maybe we will all have a cure in the near future.


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