# IBS ruling my life can't go out



## stingray007 (Jun 13, 2004)

Please could someone help me as IBS is ruling my life as far as going out anywhere. If I have arranged to go out anywhere different than my normal routine I get terrible diarhhea and can't get off the toilet all morning! It has now got to the stage where it is making me very depressed and anxious as I dread anybody inviting me out. Is there anything that I can take for these symptoms to help me overcome my problem


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## peardrops (Jan 3, 2004)

Ian, so sorry to hear that. I can certainly relate to what you say. There are medications you can take to help the D. The more anxious you become the more the D kicks in, do go and talk to your doctor about this. The anxiety often leads to depression and there are many anti-depressants which can help both the anxiety and depression. I often feel the same as you, somewhere to go and then I'm off running to the loo! It's as though our brain has become programmed and the gut is certainly linked to the brain. There is so much good advice on this BB and a lot of things are trial and error - good luck!


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## stingray007 (Jun 13, 2004)

I have spoken to my doctor about this several times he has given me different medications but to no avail and I really don't want to start anti depressants


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## kazzy3 (Apr 11, 2003)

I know how you feel Ian, anytime I know I have to be somewhere at a certain time, BAM the worry starts. I'll either have d or worry about getting it and having no access to the bathroom. This of course just makes things worse. I am sorry to say that I have cancelled many an appointment due to this. If anyone has any thoughts or ways they get through this sort of thing, that wouldbe great. Thanks.


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## ebbie (May 4, 2004)

i agree with peardrops - antidepressants/anti-anxiety meds do help in the whole scope of ibs-d because we know that the fears of leaving our safety zone - our own private bathroom gets us in knots... i take lexapro - 10mg. i'm trying to wean myself as i don't have insurance any longer. it seems to help with those moments of fear! talk to your dr. though because not all meds are for everyone. also - relaxation techniques may help with this as well. i think scottyswotty (?) may know more about this. good luck!


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## AlmostFamous (Apr 11, 2004)

I was afraid of anti-anxiety meds, but now I want to look into it, as unfortunately I think anxiety is a maajor trigger for me more than anything else.After visiting this board, you'll start to feel better. Knowing you are not alone does help and the people on here have all had different experiences and can offer helpful advice! At least you'll be aware of other meds out there. Maybe list the ones you've tried and people can suggest others you haven't heard of.


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## editor (Jun 20, 2004)

Hi IanI also have IBS and found this site through google. I've spent a while reading through everyone's posts and saw yours and decided to register. So, my first reply!







"Please could someone help me as IBS is ruling my life as far as going out anywhere."I think it is very often the fear of having "an accident" or having an attack when you are someplace new (or even, when it's somewhere you know), and also, the thought of having an attack in front of people, that starts you off on what I call a vicious fear cycle. If you go to someplace new, you can start to worry before you've even left your house: "what if I have an attack? what if there are no bathrooms? what if i can't make it to the bathroom in time? what if someone else is in the bathroom when I need it? what if people look at me?" and so on, until you go into meltdown mode and feel safer staying at home. Of course, all of these thoughts are intensified if someone is coming to pick you up, as opposed to you driving anywhere. "What if I am sick in their car? What if they don't stop" etc. Again: meltdown. No wonder people with IBS have anxiety and depression - who wouldn't given the nature of the illness?The thing is, to try and break that fear cycle and to try and do it *gradually.* Easier said than done, I know.







For example: most public places have toilets so when you get the thought "there'll be no toilets!" you know that there will be. If you went hiking up Snowdonia for example, then the chances are there wouldn't be a toilet there, (not that it would matter much with all that open space!







Do you see the difference though?"If I have arranged to go out anywhere different than my normal routine I get terrible diarhhea and can't get off the toilet all morning!"Again, I think your reaction is understandable, and as other posters have mentioned, your anxiety about the situation doesn't help your gut. Here's how I deal with it. I know that early mornings kill me, so, perhaps instead of aiming to go out at 9 or 10, you make an afternoon appointment instead? This will give you time to get up, let your gut do its thing, and, you will find that your anxiety will gradually settle down. Anxiety does come in peaks: it will build up, reach a peak, stay at a plateau for a little while, and then, the good news is, that it *will* subside. Of course, anxiety in itself is not at all pleasant, but you can get help for that too - not just medicated help, you can look into relaxation, anxiety management classes etc. In the meantime, take some Immodium because it will help you to deal with the actual physcial fall out of your IBS. You can get it in pill form, or you can also get it in a liquid if you can't tolerate pills. (As a side note: if you are lactose intolerant, be very aware of pills and medications containing lactose.) Don't forget that if you have pretty much constant diarrhea, you will be losing minerals and salts too, so try to stay hydrated.Try little steps first: get your symptoms and your anxiety under some sort of control first, so that when worrying thoughts start, you can say to yourself: "I had a really bad IBS attack in the supermarket, *but* the immodium held out, and I was OK."If you are invited to someplace new, see if you can go by yourself, beforehand? Of course, this isn't practical if you are invited a long way from home, but, you can challenge your own routine. For example: perhaps you always shop in Tesco? Try and shop in Sainsbury's, even if you only rush in and buy a paper? Actually, you don't have to buy anything at all! Go to the new place: check out where the toilets are. That way, if you need to go, you can. It lessens the anxiety about the layout of places and you won't worry as much. Chances are, if you know where the toilet is, you won't even want to use them. It's weird how that works, but it seems to be true for a lot of people. Once you've scoped out the new place, you then have "evidence" to show how you coped. If you needed the 'loo whilst you were there, so what? Secondly: I think it's so much worse if you are a passenger, or, if you have to walk everywhere. Ask your friends if you can meet them at the venue? Also, talk to your friends about how you are feeling: they may surprise you by being supportive? Start off with a small trip; meeting someplace you already know and then, once you feel better, you can work up to go further afield."It has now got to the stage where it is making me very depressed and anxious as I dread anybody inviting me out."Tell your friends how you feel, the effect it is having on you, and why you feel reluctant about going out. Some people will not understand, and some people will. Best of luck to you.


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## Stasha1114 (Jun 20, 2004)

Wow Editor, that was great advice! I have IBS as well and I swear I could have written what Ian did. I feel ya Ian, I experience the same thing any time I need to go somewhere new or even if im going somewhere "safe" Best of luck to you!


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## california123 (Jun 8, 2003)

Try Xanax...it will stop the anxiety and the D. What have you got to lose?


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## peppertree (Jun 2, 2004)

i take xanax, its great for anxiety, but it hasnt stopped my diarreha, but i am finding things that make my ibs worse, like different foods, and other meds i was taking.


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## Sara Mudie (Apr 16, 2004)

Really great post from you Editor on a subject I can very closely relate to. I get anxious about going out for weeks building up to anything and constantly battle with my mind and body. I try to think rationally through the 'what if' aspects of an attack but still find myself waking up every morning with a feeling of dread. I wish I had a trigger in my head to turn off the thoughts - so badly need a rest from all this.If you read this Editor, good to see a fellow 'UK-er' here. Whereabouts in the country are you? You sound like you have got a firm grip of this debilitating condition and it is encouraging to hear your constructive views. I have just been put on Fybogel by my GP. I did not see him about my IBS-D for 6 years as previous GP's had pretty well told me to just put up with things and go away and I had lost all faith. Just lately things have become worse and I got up the courage to go back to the 'experts' and try again. My scepticism went through the roof when I was given a high fibre, orange flavoured drink with artificial sweeteners - all things I've avoided in the past. I've been taking it for 5 days (the doc said try for 2 weeks at least) and although the D is lessened, the urge to go is there still with things being pushed along. I've never been constipated and so this treatment seems odd for my condition but I'm told by the IBS Network nurses that it can help as it is a regulator. I have had lots of cramps and bloating too with it so, still not convinced. Does anyone else with D have success with products like Fybogel? I don't know the equivalent in the US but I've read other posts which mention it. I'll let you all know if things improve.


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## gownowoften (Dec 5, 2003)

Sussex Girl, Fybogel is just a glorified version of Psyllium Husks with added citric acid , & flavorings. If you go to a health shop & just buy the Husks, they will be a lot cheaper,& you can pour them on your cereal, soup, toast etc. Also if you are allergic to citrus ,& artificial sweetners,you will no longer have that problem.The husks work by drawing water from the system to allow them to swell to 8 times the expansion rate of bran ,so making your stools bulky, & encouraging the bowel to work normally. I wish to God that Doctors spent more time studying the ingredients of the things they are inclined to promote so that people with G.I tract problems, dont need to suffer so much. It makes my blood boil. If you really want to give your gut the chance to recover,you should make an effort to locate some Mangosteen Juice. It is full of natural anti-inflammatories which may allow you to have less intolerance to certain I.B.S triggers, by eliminating the inflammation in the bowel.Mangosteen has been used for dysentry,& diarrhea for hundreds of years by the peoples of S,East Asia. If you have any problems finding the juice, check out our websites in thePRODUCTS & WEBSITES forum.


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## editor (Jun 20, 2004)

Stasha114,thankyou for your kind comments.







Sussexgirl,thanks for your kind comments too! *blush. Thanks also for the warm greeting: I'm currently in Norfolk.>>"You sound like you have got a firm grip of this debilitating condition and it is encouraging to hear your constructive views."well, I'm just pleased that anything I said might have helped someone else. This condition is a "pain in the rear" in so many different ways, and we all know the major one.







I'm not sure if this is the right thread - I don't mean to derail Ian's post, so apologies - but I've had IBS for a long time - I''ll see if I can add some info to the profile section. I have good days and I have really bad days - I think most of us do? It's hard: it's emotionally and physically draining. If you don't have any support, it's even worse. I wish I'd found this board when I was diagnosed.I answered Ian's post because it struck a chord with me. At the moment, I am without a car and have to rely on other people for lifts. It's a total nightmare! Public transport is out of the question. Also, I'm on the outskirts of town and my nearest shop is about a 4 mile round trip away: I could try and walk it, but I'm worried about the old "what if's" so if anyone has any tips on walking, please let me know. *grin. I can't order my shopping online either, so I'm a bit stuck at the moment." I wish I had a trigger in my head to turn off the thoughts - so badly need a rest from all this..."yep, I hear you. Some of the techniques used in anxiety management may well help you to deal with those kinds of thoughts, although it can be very hard work..but hey! We have IBS we know all about hard work.







Early mornings are often worse.There are a stack of self help books, resources etc "out there" but sometimes, information isn't accurate, or people promise magic cures when there aren't any, or worse, they try and charge you for them! Then there's the pressure to take medication - which of course, can help, but is not without its own set of considerations.Sometimes, and I have found this for myself at least, you just want someone to say: "alright, how about trying this, or this? here's an idea. that didn't work? ok, let's try something else" without *you* having to through all the hassle of research. You just want tips and suggestions that work for you, so that you can get your life back.


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## bh0125 (Mar 16, 2004)

I had a really good week (D free) and went to lunch with a close friend. She drove, everything was fine. From the time we walked out of the restaurant to driving out of the parking garage (1-2 minutes) it hit with no warning and I had an accident in her car. I could have died...went home from work and tried to call my dr. He was out and the office just said "call back Monday". Needless to say, I'm changing drs. Now I'm afraid to go anywhere with anyone and I MUST take my own car or stay in the office 9-10 hours a day. Any advice?


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## editor (Jun 20, 2004)

Hi bh0125first of all, congrats on managing to even make it to lunch with your friend! I think that's a good achievement in itself and one that should not be underestimated.Perhaps there was something in your meal that set your gut off? I can imagine how terribly embarrassed you must be feeling: I think the only thing you are going to be able to do in this situation, is to have a good talk with your friend and "get right back out there again" no matter how much you *don't* want to do it. The longer you leave it, the worse you will feel.You said you were close so no doubt she will understand totally. Ask her if she will go out with you again: you don't have to go inside anywhere, you can just have a very short trip out together. You will be very anxious and think "what if it happens again" but the chances are, it might not, and **if** it does, you will be able to cope. In a way, think of it like this: you've already had the worst case scenario happen to you, and you got through it.When you are with your friend, gradually build up the length of time you are out together again, so that in time, you will be able to stay out and might well be problem free. If the thought of travelling even a very short way is too much, just ask her to sit in the car with you whilst parked in your driveway: do this for as long as you can possibly bear before you need to rush to the 'loo. Do it several times a week so that you become desensitised to the situation and your anxiety will gradually lessen. Someone else on the board posted that they keep a plastic sheet underneath the seat of their car so that if they become unwell, it's not so bad. You could do this too? Keep a survival pack with you as well. Just in case.If you explain that you could use your friend's support to help you deal with this upsetting condition, I'm sure she will be only too glad to help. Don't forget, the longer you avoid the situation, the harder it will be to confront it next time.Best of luck to you


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## MarkinCA (Mar 23, 2000)

I also have terrible IBS-D in the morning, and don't have even a prayer of being able to leave home until the afternoon. But even then I need medical help, and as I have posted in the past, there is a way to out-muscle IBS.You can get your doctor to prescribe Tylenol with Codeine #4 (or its generic). Take HALF of one about an hour before you want to go out. Codeine is temporarily constipating, and will stop your gut for a few hours. Have some with you for a "booster" if you're going to be away for a longer time.Tincture of opium accomplishes the same thing, but is harder to get because it's more of a controlled drug. As a liquid that has to be measured, it's also not as "portable" as the tablets.I have been using the Tylenol/codeine #4 tablets for years, and I have never become addicted or habituated to them. I have not had to increase the dose because of building a tolerance to them. On the occasional day when I stay home and don't take it I never feel any urge or withdrawal. As "narcotics" go, this one is pretty mild.We face no good choices with this condition. We would prefer not to have to take these things, but without them we would be house-bound invalids. Better to have a chance for half a life than none at all.Mark


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## jmitcham53 (Jun 24, 2003)

bho125,It sure isn't fun, is it? What happened to you has happened to me 3 times with one good friend, 2 times with my sister and about 3 times out of the blue by myself. What I do now for comfort, is to wear 2-3 overnight pads back there. Although it has happened, no one knew. And I could get home and die of embarrassment by myself! I also always take my own car and keep a travel pack with a fresh change of clothes in the trunk. I take immodium AD and I usually do not eat out. I go to dinner with my family, but usually get a to-go meal and eat it at home. Even though I feel wierd not ordering with everybody else, I can't accept the alternative. Try to keep a food diary so that you know when you are having problems, you will know the triggers. For example, I pretty much with my immodium can eat plain chicken or turkey out with maybe a bit of white bread, sometimes. Any spicy food will not handle my anxiety. I have had this for years and years and alternate with periods of depression and acceptance. Just know you have company here on this board with people who completely understand what you are going through!Sincerely,Jan


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## bein2004 (Jun 2, 2004)

Could you be lactose intolerant? If this is the case, even though you don't drink a glass of milk or eat a dish of ice cream, there may be milk in something that you eat. Even a little bit will set me off , although I am basically constipation oriented ibs. I sometimes use a spoonful or so of sherbert to give my bowel a hint or a nudge. Sometimes it works , sometimes not. Just an idea, walking lady.


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## kazzy3 (Apr 11, 2003)

You are too right editor, thanks for relaying the fears many of us have. As I have said I have cancelled many appointments, not to mention many fun activities due to worry about whether there will be a bathroom. If I need it will it take to long to get there? I prefer to do the driving(in case I have to leave quickly) I usually only take short car trips. I know there is nothing to be done and that I must just resolve to take some chances and try relaxing. Does anyone have any coping stratagies?


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## dysilap (Feb 14, 2004)

I am IBS A, usually have my loose stool in the morning and as long as I do not eat anything all day, I am fine. This weekend I ate lots of carbs and dairy. Well come mon morn I have my potty time, and still feel like incomplete evacuation.I head off to work, about a 1/2 hr drive, park in the parking gagage, and start to get out I feel a cramp, then I start walking and bam... Here it comes, I was shaking got back to my car, and went oh no, I forgot my cell phone, so sit for awhile and try to calm myself. Luckily, I had on a pad, it was not as bad as I thought, got cleaned up, no one came in the bathroom. But I was so humiliated, and scared, my mind kept racing. Right now, I am wondering was it the dairy, the carbs, my anxiety, the new med I am on. So I am already programming myself and setting myself up for tomorrow. I was careful about what I ate to night, It is like do I take my benefiber, I had to take pepto bismal at work plus imodium to get me through the day, I am a Barista and the other espresso machine was broke, so I had more buisiness then usual, prob good thing kept my mind off things, how do u guys cope day after day, I have had IBS for over 30 yrs and I am amazed hao it can change just like that, my anxiety is out of control, My psychiatrist may try Valium, she goes u will like this. I keep wondering will I be costipated tomorrow or D.Oh well, tomorrow will be here and I will know. I do not expect a response, It felt good to just talk and get this out and agree with everyone, and maybe comfort someone else. Thanks, Laura


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## gownowoften (Dec 5, 2003)

Laura, Yes we have nearly all been there, thats why this site is so popular. I can only suggest you try Mangosteen juice. It is natural,& the natives of S.East Asia have used it successfully for hundreds of years for dysentry, diarrhea,& heaps of other inflammatory conditions.After 18 years of 'Bathroom Jail' it is the only thing that set me free!


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## editor (Jun 20, 2004)

*Kazzy3*You asked about coping strategies? I think it helps if you can manage to do short trips and very gradually try to extend the length of time you are in the car? Whether you choose to do this at first, by yourself, or take a friend along for moral support, is up to you. At first, try only going to places where you know there will be a toilet at the other end - it's a little bit of reassurance. *If* you have an accident, you know you'll be able to clean up. Plan a day that you will try to go to somewhere local. Attempt to do it: even if you get so far, and decide you'd like to turn back, it doesn't matter. Don't beat yourself up about turning back: the most important thing is that you try. This might take a week, it might take a couple of months. The theory is that by trying you can say to yourself: "well hey: I managed that short trip, and I was fine. I felt a bit uncomfortable, but nothing I couldn't handle." This gives you a confidence boost so you are more willing to try again. If you have a set back, don't worry. Set backs are good as well because they show progress







If you are a passenger, you could try distraction techniques? I posted a couple in another post. You do anything to try and distract your mind from the anxiety -but obviously, if you're driving, you don't want to be too distracted! heh.Don't forget, whenever you are out, take your survival pack with you. Dose yourself up with immodium beforehand. See how you go?It's the "what ifs" and fear that kill you. Or me, at least


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## bh0125 (Mar 16, 2004)

Thanks for the support. I did go back to my dr. today and he's trying a couple of new drugs. We'll see how they work. I appreciate you guys writing.


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## miranda (Apr 16, 2004)

I notice many ppl on this thread mention stress and anxiety as their triggers. Have you ever heard of, or considered hypnotherapy in the form of IBS Audio Program 100?I used to wake up each work day in a sheer panic. I spent the whole morning obsessed over my bowel movements, how bad they were going to get, what excuses I could use to leave work early etc...I stopped going out to restaurants with friends for fear of an attack, I was always cancelling plans. For me the anxiety was due to the symptoms themselves, I knew I had to do something to stop thinking this way rather than constantly take drugs to slow down my gut.Read more about the program in the Cognitive Behaviour forum, you'll never know until you try!M


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## scottyswotty (Jun 29, 2000)

If you want to try and help the physical, you might want to consider IBSACOL and/or DA-IBS. I think that supplementing both at the same time may really help. Also adding the Mike's IBS Audio Programme might help in your case too.


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## dysilap (Feb 14, 2004)

Hey Gownowoften, I looked at the website, I may consider this, I am back to my constipated self, (Thank God), I did try Mikes tapes they help get me to sleep, I am finished now, but the anxiety from day to day I need to address. My husband also is overweight, diabetic, highblood pressure,and a host of meds he is on, I will talk to him about it, I like the getting back to basics and nature part. Sincerly, Laura


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## lab (Jun 22, 2004)

i know...anxiety and the fear of an 'accident' keepme home a lot more than i want and of courseas everyone says this is depressing...a few quick things that help me- and i live innyc so being stuck in traffic or a subway etc. arehuge fears...i now go to and from my events alone orwith a good friend that understands in case it hits.yes- take imodium before and a supply with youalways.. i've even taken to putting extrapants and underware in my bag just in casethe unthinkable happensi almost only drink gingerale/water and have cut outcaffinated drinks and alcohol- which KILL my stomach now.- anything acidic like lemonadeetc trigger me too.walking seems to help- when it hits i get hot and the blood seems to drain to my stomach and iget exhausted..getting out and walking seems to help- orin the fresh cool air.- also- adjusting the seatin the car...by putting the seat lower and the back tilted back it seems to take the pressureoff my stomach a little.don't be afraid to be that aggressive person..i've gone in deli's, restaurants, gas stations, stores,..i even had an airport bus filled with peoplelate for flights stop in puerto rico at a roadside store...anywhere usually has a bathroom and if you just outright say..you have an emergency and you need to use their bathroom- everyone i've asked has let me usetheir bathroom...it might not be the cleanest..butwho cares at that point- right? so look around-almostEVERY place really has a bathroom - just ask. -mostpeople seem to be sympathetic. i know traveling though is a different story..whileon little planes or shuttles without bathrooms orany chance of pulling over......so traveling on a bus or in a car or boat..when i was really bad a couple years ago my doctorprescribed 'lomotil'- it's a controlled substance-but i do keep it in my bag in case of an extremeemergency- ask your doctor about some otherprescribed drugs that might help you in thesesituations...more so that just imodium if you'rehaving a really hard time. the relief that somethingwill stop the d in itself helps your mind..and thatyou can control a situation.i know this sounds elementary..but i just flat outdon't do travel to airports etc in the am anymoreand i find if i keep myself to a routineof waking up at the same time every morning-it helps a little.if all this doesn't help and you feel depressed..i think...at leasti can see..hear..talk and walk... i know itfeels SOOO horrible..like a little private hell..but things actually could be worse when youthink about it.my mom actually has parkinsons disease..andshe can't hold a book to read...feed herself..bath herself etc... i think ibs d is the worst..but atleast i do have a good day ONCE in awhile..right?


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## Jade Leah (Jun 27, 2004)

I only came across this message board today, and I can't tell you what a relief it is to know that I'm not mad and there are other people out there who suffer in the same way I do. My problem is that I, too, suffer terribly with anxiety, which then causes me to have Diahorrea, and has left me with a real terror of going somewhere unfamiliar. I panick about whether or not there will be toilets there, or whether there will even be any public toilets on the route to where I'm going...the list is endless. It has stopped me doing so many things, such as days out with my young children, and it's really gotten me down. Also, the other thing is that nobody in my family knows about it, as I've kept it a secret because I've been so embarrassed in thinking that I must have some sort of mental thing wrong with me! I haven't been diagnosed by my Doctor as having IBS, and I'm not even sure if that is what I do have. All I know is that I get these terrible anxiety attacks that always, always lead into me having Diahorrea. The main problem for me at the moment is that my family and I are going on our holidays in a few days, and I'm already worked up about going. We always go on holiday, but we usually go to the same place and I know every available public toilet and service station on the way! However, we're going somewhere new this year, and I'm getting myself incredibly worked up. I have already looked up the route, and know where there are service stations, but I can't stop myself worrying. Thanks for listening!


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## Guest (Jun 27, 2004)

Jade Leah, Most of us who suffer from IBS with D have what they call antecipatory anxiety which makes matters worse (as with you and your antecipation of your trip). I am not paticularly recommending you to, but for me it does help to count on an anti-anxiety medication prescribed by a psychiatrist. Taking these drugs does not mean you are nuts, or dependent; it means you recognize an imbalance between the mind and the gut and are proactive in trying to keep it under control. Do talk to a psychiatrist. It cannot harm, only help.best!


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## karen3480 (Apr 11, 2002)

The last month or so I had been having terrible pains and D. So my mom mentioned it to her new doctor. She told my mom to make an appoitment for me she wanted to talk to me.This woman was a godsend she's only a GP but so much more helpful than my GI. She herself suffers from IBS so she told me things to help.She prescribed me 20mg of Celexa. She also gave me a prescription for Xanax but she said only take it to stop a bad anxiety attack...she said it's addictive and only for emergencies in my case. For cramping she gave me samples of a drug called Pamine Forte 5mg..I haven't had to tried it yet. She also recommended a book which I have yet to get but she said she reads it and tells patients about it, it's called "The Feeling Good Handbook" by Dr. David Burns. The Celexa has been helping I haven't had D since I started taking it 6/8/04. Now I seem to be normal to C...but I'll take C anyday over D. I do believe that I am D and C. She told me take a spoonful of Benefiber, so I might try that. The C last night had me bleeding and having to plunge the toilet so I do think I need some sorta fiber. I just dont want the D to come backGood Luck to you!


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