# IBS and Sex



## Tamera (Apr 18, 2004)

I'm just wondering how all of u deal with IBS while having sex?


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## BigmadfrogUCSC (Apr 29, 2004)

I find that my IBS is not a problem while having sex because I dont have sex when I am not feeling well and most of my attacks are early morning. I have found that sometimes sex late at night (like 1am or 2am) can make the things worse at when i wake up.


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## Sarah Akerman (Dec 21, 2003)

im back with my ex bf and i havnt told him i have ibs yet (when we went out before i wasnt diagnosed and so didnt know what was wrong- he always got offended when i didnt feel like sex if i was having a bad day tum wise etc) and im not sure how to tell him. i mean we were together for a year so i know i should feel confortable telling him this, but its still mega embarassing!!any suggestions?


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## BigmadfrogUCSC (Apr 29, 2004)

I cant help you too much... I still have not told my GF that I have IBS. I have told her that I have a messed up stomach and that I 'get sick' alot. I think she gets the idea with out having to go into any long talks about the 'D'.But I think that someday I should just tell her and then give her the link to this sight. But I wouldnt want her to know who I am on here because I really dont think people without IBS could ever truly understand the pain.Hope that helps


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## Sarah Akerman (Dec 21, 2003)

thanks new guy. i found a leaflet from Nikki under the thread 'help for dealing with ibs.' its something u can print off and give to someone to read and it explains ibs without u having to do it! i mioght try that


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## AntonioRI (Sep 30, 2002)

I have found that sex can help with IBS. Since a majority of the disorder is to take your mind off of it, what better way can you think of? LOL! However, I know for women it can be a problem since they're built a little differently than us guys.Just remember, if he/she truly loves you, they will most likely be concerned and accomodating.


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## jrs (Jun 18, 2001)

It's true about it keeping your mind off of the IBS.







I think you should probably tell your significant other about the condition, even if it just consists of "I have this thing called IBS so I can't eat x, y and z because it will make me feel ill" It will at least give them the opportunity to check it out for themselves if they're interested and take some of the mystery out of why you feel the way you do.


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## Kaylis9d9 (Mar 15, 2004)

Having sex can be an irritant to the stomach I find... Doing it before sleep can cause problems for me... It uses the stomach muscles..As for not telling your gf/bf... I think it is childish and immature not to be upfront and honest from the start. The only way to have a real relationship is to be honest.


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## Sarah Akerman (Dec 21, 2003)

if u are suggesting im 'childish and immature' for not telling my bf then theres no need as ive told him. some of us find it hard to express our embarassment of ibs to others


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## kiryakitty (Aug 16, 2003)

No you're not childish AT ALL for not wanting to tell, and YES everyone should tell there significant other.My IBS is really bad in the mornings and it makes me late for EVERYTHING! I'm one to take on a lot of responsibilities, so that's a big deal, but it took me years to actaully admit that I was ill and not just flacky.I've actually RUINED potential love relationships by keeping it to myself, and just unexplainably going from hot to cold, getting really ashamed and irritable.I can't tell you how much my life has gotten better since I've been open about it.It's actually made my IBS BETTER! So much of my disorder is about stress, anxiety, and shame. Now that I'm open about it (to an extent) I've realized how many people can relate, and I'm not a freak, and it's NOT MY FAULT! It's really changed my life.About sex. Definatley do it. Definately wait unitl your comfortable. But don't let your IBS ruin your life. Even when you might think your totally undesirable because your bloated, or constipated, no one else knows this. If your partner wants to hold you and tell you they love you, LET THEM!Maybe these are just my issues, but I hope they help.psI'm also a slam poet, and I was just on the winning national youth team with a poem about IBS: proof that it can be VERY benificial to tell. I posted it under "for everyone" if you check it out.


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## Sarah Akerman (Dec 21, 2003)

thanks SO much kiryakitty what uve said relates exactly to me!


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## abstract whirl (May 7, 2004)

I get diagmosed with IBS yesterday but i've had the symptoms for about six months. I used to spend a good hour in the toilet when the damn bowel thing decided it might like to stop being lazy and do some work. My boyfriend used to sit on the otherside of the door and talk to me to keep me company. It's quite nice really because i don't feel lonely and isolated from the rest of the world. I find my bathroom a very depressing place (my parents decided on avarcardo green) so as bizarre as it might sound, i think it's really quite sweet of him.


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## misssmaz (Dec 26, 2003)

i was just going to post a question about ibs and sex, no need now lol.


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## jlfoster12 (May 8, 2004)

Just gurgle while you yell--lol


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## austinite (May 17, 2004)

I have had only a couple times when my IBS has interfered with sex. Both times have been actually during sex. Can there be any more of a turn off than telling your partner while your making love that you have to go to the bathroom RIGHT NOW! Thankfully my wonderful girlfriend understands my problem and it doesnt bother her. (at least thats what she tells me) I can understand though if it grosses her out....heck, it grosses me out.


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## gladiator (Dec 6, 2002)

you people have sex?


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## LaBellaGabriella (May 21, 2004)

I think all of us IBS sufferes should meet up, and fall in love,,, In a perfect world right, Its not that were ashamed to tell our bf/gf's they just dont get it, I wish everyone could have a taste of this just to see what its like!! My tummy hurts







errrrr


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## pinupgirl1948 (Aug 6, 2003)

I agree!!!


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## pinupgirl1948 (Aug 6, 2003)

I actually threw up right after i had sex one time.Luckily i made it to the bathroom.I was so backed up,i guess all the motion got me ill


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## hells_angels_y2k (Sep 24, 2003)

I have a problem during sex with IBS. Its detailed so dont read it if your don't want too much info. If the sex I am having is very fast then sometimes I have to yell STOP otherwise it feels like I will mess myself. Does anyone else get that or is it just me who has this shameful secret? Ps. My bloke knows about it and is very respectful about it. We just change position and nothing else about it is said.


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## katkraze (May 21, 2004)

Hi everyone, I am new to this discussion board, but I am GREATFUL that I have found it. I believe I have been suffering w/ IBS for years, now. As a result of this condition I believe I have EXTREMELY painful intercourse, right upon the initial penetration, my b/f (of 10yrs) feels "prickly" and I can't take it anymore and force him to STOP. This has completely taken over our lives, and of course, I am never in the mood, anymore, which upsets him, as he can't understand me and what's going on. Please advise if this is the same symptoms you all experience when trying to be intimate with your partner? I need help!


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## kiryakitty (Aug 16, 2003)

Has this always been a problem? What about when you go to the gyno?If so, it might be something else entirely. I saw a special once about some women having overly sensative tissue on the lower wall of their vagina. This might be something you want to check on.I know that when I'm really backed up I feel pressure in my rectum from sex, but never pain.


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## katkraze (May 21, 2004)

Thank you kiryakitty for your responsive reply. Actually when we first started dating, we were both insatiable, and for the next couple of years. But once I started experiencing IBS symptoms (stranded in the b/r for hrs at a stretch, and chronic stomach pains (need to relieve gas pressure) I fealt gross and sex was the furthest thing from my mind, but he was/is very persistent, and I feel guilty because I, well let's face it DENY him more and more. (Actually it has probably been a good yr or so since we have actually commenced true intercourse.) I can't stand to "accept" him like I used to. I also believe that it has to do with IBS, since I am very burpy/gassy at these times. However, I can honestly recall, twice where I had to clench my teeth etc, before a nasty action took place


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## gladiator (Dec 6, 2002)

i agree too Labellagabriella we should meet and fall in love.Anybody intend to visit Turkey?


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## AntonioRI (Sep 30, 2002)

LOL gladiator! I often wondered about a relationship with someone else suffering IBS. On one hand I can see the plus of having someone who understands and can be supportive. On the other hand I think one might be triggered by the others symptoms. My ex b/f had alot of stomach issues, tho not severe enough to be IBS, and I remember him getting sick would always make me feel slightly ill myself..LOL! Sympathy pain I guess!


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## Julie55 (Jun 30, 2004)

This has been a very interesting topic to read!!! This is only my second time on this site an I have not beed diagnosed with IBS-D yet but I suspect that is what I have. I also have GERD and a hiatal hernia. Stomach problems suck and I can definately relate to all of you and how it can interfere in our sex lives. I got married last august and have been having severe stomach problems for about 7 months. My sex advice FOR ALL THE OTHER WOMEN HERE IS TAKE IT WHEN YOU WANT IT!!!! That may sound silly but, when I am actually feeling good one day and I want to have sex I get my hubby in the bedroom! If he is sleeping I wake him up. Trust me, if your man understands that you do not always feel well enough to have sex he will welcome the spontenaity. What guy doesn't like his woman taking control?!?!?!?


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## Rosalene (Jul 7, 2004)

hi ok dealing with IBS and sex wow, for me it hurts alot, I'm usually in too much pain to care weither I please the guy or not. It's difficult because I wanna have sex with my b/f but I always feel sick and tired and not in the mood. I'm afriad that if I don't get better he'll move on. There is no answer to the question of IBS or sex, IBS always wins. so try to do what makes you feel good that's my advice.


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## kiryakitty (Aug 16, 2003)

Ok. To all the women (and men) who are feeling guilty or worried that your partner will leave you if you don't have sex... That's absolutely awful!The number one rule about sex should be that it's good for everyone involved. You should NEVER have sex when you don't want to, and you should NEVER feel like you have to have sex to make anyone else happy.If anybody tells you otherwise you should get a new partner. Sex is NOT just about getting off. It's about sharing the most intimate parts of yourself with someone else, about being (ideally) in a state of complete comfort and respect. If your body feels terrible, than of course you wouldn't want to have sex. Why would you want to share that with anyone? Why would any one want to make you more uncomfortable by pressuring you into it? That's sick, if you ask me. Please don't let anyone disrespect you like that. Sex is supposed to be fun for all parties involved.-Kirya


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## kschultz (Jul 8, 2004)

There are other things you can do without actual intercourse  that i'm sure he'll be happy with. Try giving him a sensual massage - he'll be impressed with the effort even if it doesn't lead to intercourse. And the mouth is not at all connected to the bowel (unless your suffering particularly from nausea ;-))


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## scottyswotty (Jun 29, 2000)

> quotelease don't let anyone disrespect you like that. Sex is supposed to be fun for *all* parties involved.-Kirya


Nice. I like the way you don't exclude the possibility of threesomes etc.


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## erin5983 (Mar 25, 2003)

I just avoid sex when I'm not feeling well. BBB- I also threw up once after sex. Talk about embarrassing.My boyfriend has been pretty understanding about it. He knows when I'm not in the mood and we'll just watch a movie or something instead. I think he gets frustrated at times but doesn't take it out on me, which is good. It can be so embarrassing, though. If I'm having D problems, I won't even THINK about having sex...the idea of having an accident during sex makes me want to cry!!!


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## theresnopoint (Sep 7, 2003)

I find sex to help it settle down a bit. If I'm on the bottom, then i can basically just lie there, and I think the warmth and pressure of him on top of me is soothing on my bad gut. But I'm 3 months pregnant, so the sex has stopped. We plan to get married, and raise it like functional people, though I'm only 16. I was actually wondering what to do now that I can't give him that, but there are other things, and we are happy. I think being pregnant alleviates the symptoms, cuz I havent had an attack in almost 2 months, and I've stopped all drugs. Closest I came to a drug since I conceived was half a bottle of pepsi...and it didnt give me a flare up.


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## Cassidy806 (Aug 22, 2004)

I agree with the one guy who posted [i'm sure it's differnet for woman] but i find that sex or some sort of physical interaction gets my mind off of feeling sick.i guess it really depends on the person.take care.matthew


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## theresnopoint (Sep 7, 2003)

ibs group 3-sums??


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## LdyCarotop (Aug 23, 2004)

i agree that having sex keeps your mind off of IBS ..ive never had anything happen during sex. WHEW!!!! And im so lucky that i have a man who is understanding!! if you have to worry about a partner leaving you because of IBS ..then youre better off without that partner.


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## Emily (Aug 19, 2004)

I've not had any problems after having sex or anything. I don't know though it could trigger it in the morning or something.


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## DrDevil (May 31, 2003)

Hi Emily, I'm a portsmouth student too!!!


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## Nikki (Jul 11, 2000)

> quote:We plan to get married, and raise *it*


Gee...you sound responsible.


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## Kaylis9d9 (Mar 15, 2004)

A 16 year old should not be pregnant... She doesn't deserve slack... 16 year olds have no training to get good jobs and their child will suffer from it... I have no pity.. I was 16 not long ago, and I was not irresponsible.. I had a chance to have sex at 15.. but I didn't...


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## theresnopoint (Sep 7, 2003)

i dont deserve slack, u are right. i was immature and irresponsible. and somewhatlost is also right too, i dont know the gender yet, and im probably going to let it be a surprise, although if not they can probably tell me by next week.


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## Emily (Aug 19, 2004)

I didnt think they did that anymore. Incase they got it wrong or something people get angry when they do that. Maybe that's just in England..


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## Da88en (Sep 10, 2004)

Angel V - Being with someone that also has ibs might be ok cos you know how the other feels, but unless your house has 2 bathrooms its not recommended


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## LoneDoc (Aug 25, 2004)

Well folks, I'm rather new here. Little bit of a background; I have both an autoimmune disease as well as IBS. I'm 24 but still consider myself a young adult (maybe I just don't want to think about getting older). I'm a clinical immunologist, just got my PhD in microbiology a couple of years ago. I've had to go through "the explanation" more than I really care to when it comes to sex and IBS. I've even had a vomiting episode one night with a partner that I don't think I (nor she) will ever forget. I find that there are really three types of people in the world; those who understand, those who don't, and those who just don't care. IBS can often be a very embarassing thing to talk about with your partner because frankly, society doesn't necessarily look too kindly on people talking about their digestive systems, colons, toilet habits, etc. I was at one point in time engaged to a young lady who had major issues with me being sick all of the time. It got to the point where I was basically unable to do anything fun or interactive and that ultimately ended our relationship. However, it was for the best because I have met one of the most sincere people I've ever been with in my entire life...and that never would have happened had I not been through the hard times with the other relationship. Here's how I explain it (forgive me if I give US statistics because I am in the States). I start off with basic numbers. A lot of people don't realize that IBS is rather common. About 1 million people in the US have AIDS (diagnosed and documented), about 8 million have cancer (diagnosed and documented), about 12 million have coronary heart disease (diagnosed and documented). That's 21 million effected people. Now, approximately 35 million people (20% of the adult population) have been diagnosed with IBS. There are more people living with IBS than all of the former diseases combined. This number doesn't include the millions of people who just think they have stomach problems and never seek professional help. This really puts things into perspective for the person to understand. We're talking 1 in 5 people has IBS so the chances are the person already knows somebody who also has the disease. This is effective because it starts to put faces to statistics. I then move on to explaining the symptoms. What it's like, how you feel, what daily life is like, what you need, etc. Try to be as blunt as possible, and I say this because it really is better to get the entire thing out into the open for discussion rather than having it linger on, never really being discussed freely. Relationships are all about communication...if the person is unable to communicate or you aren't able to communicate, there really isn't much there to work with to begin with. Then, it's time to discuss the good and "bad" of the relationship. Relationships are a two lane street. You can either think of you both going in the same direction, or you going in opposite directions. You need to get out into the open not only how you feel for your own sake, but also for the partner's sake. It's not fair for either of you to be in a situation where one gets mad at the other because something isn't going as expected...and you don't want IBS to be the culprit when it could have been discussed. If it means sex isn't going to happen at the drop of a dime all of the time, you need to convey that. As you grow older and out of those teenage years, you'll begin to develop more meaningful relationships with people where sex, although important to a relationship, isn't always priority number one. Believe me, I enjoy sex just as much as the next guy (I am a guy! Remember?!) but relationships have a tendency to follow a pattern from passion initially, to compassion later on. It is the compassionate relationships that are going to be most rewarding in your life and I sincerely hope that all of you develop compassionate ones.So get it out there in the open. If the relationship is going to survive (or even be worth it over the long run) the issues at hand need to be settled and understood by both parties involved. If the guy/girl can't check their hormones at the door on occasion, move on. You're young, and there are plenty of other people in the world who would be more worthy of your time and efforts in the long run. Cheers,Doc


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## AntonioRI (Sep 30, 2002)

Darren







My ex-boyfriend just called me from his new home in Seattle. He has been diagnosed with IBS. I told him I KNOW exactly how he feels.


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## yaboozaboo (Oct 20, 2004)

I can't see how someone can have sex with people they're not in love with. I don't want to look back and think "YUCK, I had sex with that creep, shoot me?!?!?!" I'm glad i have been waiting. I'm not a big moral person, but high school teenagers really shouldn't be having sex. Unless they are really in love, and are big enough to go to the doctor to get pills, patches or shots. Condoms alone, I don't trust, you can still become pregnant. Its best to use both. Too many kids are getting pregnant, having abortions, getting STDs and AIDS. There are more things you can do than sex.


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## Wes and Tracy (Apr 14, 1999)

Thinking that sex shouldn't matter to the relationship and that two people who love each other should be able to stay together even if they're never able to have sex is a beautiful thought, but a very poor reality. The majority of cheating partners do so because of the lack of sexual intimacy in their own relationships.The key to success in a relationship is intimacy. The primary method of intimacy in a relationship is sexual. There's something about being sexually intimate with someone that bares us to them and them to us. It's possible to just f*ck a stranger and get your rocks off but even then you're baring yourself in ways you might not even notice. My advice to you all is that if you need to limit your intercourse due to your medical condition, do it. But don't limit your intimacy. I said the primary method of intimacy is sexual, but it doesn't have to always mean intercourse. I think many woman feel that if they start anything that it has to always lead to sex/penetration, but that's not true. Try other things. Don't just let the intimacy die because you're afraid of intercourse, do something, replace it with something else that will still allow you to be close, and taking care of each others needs. Learning how to work around this problem and developing other ways to please each other can be a great bonding experience for both of you. Good luck.Wes


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## SUICIDESOONLIFESRUINED (Nov 18, 2004)

i cant believe you people actually have sex. Or relationships for that matter. I just really cant believe it. I must suffer from different IBS symptoms than all of you. I have 24hr tummy ache, major gas, and leaky gas. So I dont even wanna be close to a woman. Im too worried shell smell me and run away...you guys are so lucky. And I get looks from women all the time. Its just sad no wonder I wanna kill myself


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