# Ibs, still haunts me.



## sunsetforall (Apr 2, 2013)

I am 16 now and, thank the lord, I have FINNALLY gotten (knock on wood) my IBS symptoms undercontroll.

Now I would like to start off by saying that I don't suffer from the same type of IBS as a lot of people on this web site ( the actual interanal problem one) but I suffer(ed) from a IBS that was primarily axiety related. This all started when I was 14 and I was just over at a friends house and all of a sudden I really had to let one lose. I tried my very best to hold it in but it still somehow managed to get out. I was horrendus. It wasent like te typical wiff of bon fire, where it come out all at once, but NO it was the type of flachulance that slowly came out through out the duration of the night. Needless to say my friend was not too enthusiastic about hugginh me before I left. The rest of the year I spent in agony as I felt constantly nausicous and the kids around me would try to find excuses to touch their noses, (this will become very important later int he story, if you're willing to stick around for that long ^-^)

That entire year was spent in constant fear of me getting an other urge that I couldn't control.

that summer, I thought it had went away, and it had for the time being, but the first day of highschool, as I walked around, I could hear people talking about me, and obnoxiously coughing so that everyone knew it wasnt them. Not to mention I had a reputaion of not haing the most pleasing arouma because of bullshit people would say about me in elementary school and my lack of deoderant in 7th grade.

But that whole year was nothing short of constant torment. Every single second Of my ninth grade year I was just worrying and worrying and flachulating constantly because of how tense my stomach was from the worrying. I felt as though I had lost the ability to make friends or do anything fun because I knew that they would just judge me right away. I went to school in total and utter fear every single day and prayed that god would just kill me. As a walked through the hallways to my next death sentence of a class I could hear kids talking about my for touching there noses. even in class once this really douchy kid announced to everyone that It was me and all I could do was sit there and pray for it to be over. many times even before I had talked to someone, they had already heard somthing about me and was trying to act as though they were not taking anything I said seriously. And not to mention, this very unique scent that I had startedt o give off, was not just my ibs, but I also had not been taking care of my self because of the severe depression that i had been going though; So i already was groww, but on top of that, because I was going through so much trauma that I would sweat through my deoderant and EVERYTHING would smell. And there wasnt one thing I could do to stop it.

I honestly have never told anyone this because even all of my friends would judge me on the days when it would get bad.

when I came home I just changed right away an took a shower so my parents have no idea about this

I am now in the tenth grade, and I have just gotten over the most severe symtoms about three months ago. and I have gotten my severe axiety diagnosed and medicated. But I still have selfharm issues and I have been contemplating suicide today.

There is SO much more that has happend in these two torturous years, but for the purposes of this blog post, I'll leave it at that.

If anyone at all reads this, please do that a moment to reply; I dont care if it's only one word, or any emoticon, but just know that there is another human being out there that has seen this hidden seacret that is eating me alive every day, it would mean the world to me.


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## Moyes (Jun 3, 2009)

I hear you mate. Sounds very familiar. You should check out the forums. You'll find your far from the only one. Tons of great supportive and encouraging posts there.

Have you tried the doctors? You never know.


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## Moyes (Jun 3, 2009)

I hear you mate. Sounds very familiar. You should check out the forums. You'll find your far from the only one. Tons of great supportive and encouraging posts there.

Have you tried the doctors? You never know.


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## franciss (Apr 4, 2013)

.I did read, im also 16 and your story is really familiar to mine, im also in 10th grade still with the same sympthoms.

Personally i think doctors dont help that much


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## Jenni33 (Apr 8, 2013)

Aww you poor thing! I am so sorry to hear that those terrible kids are teasing you for something that is so hard to deal with and beyond your control. I know it may not seem like it now but you will be out of high school in no time and not have to deal with their bullying and harsh words. You are so young and have a long life ahead of you plus their opinion means nothing they are just mean insecure teenagers who don't realize that what they are doing is wrong or at least haven't matured enough to care because you never really learn until you get older. My best advice is to ignore them and just focus on being as happy as you can be with all the negativity your surrounded by. Get good grades, find a hobbie that makes you happy. Also don't be shy to tell your parents I was the same way and hid it until it got worse and i ended up having to tell them anyways. They are there to help you and I would hate for you to ever think suicide is a better option. Ask them to take you perfume shopping maybe get some more potent deodorant and go to school with confidence knowing you have at least that to help cover up any smell. Don't over do the perfume of course because they might use that to tease you as well but honestly you have to just ignore them regardless and make the best of it. Try making friends not everyone is as cruel as those kids and at least you only have a couple more years until you dont have to deal with those mean bullies anymore. You need someone to rely on to help you through this you can't just hold it in that will drive you crazy so i really hope you take my advice and talk to your parents about it have them take you to get help whether it be from Drs. Therapist, nutritionist any means to help because you only live once and I wouldn't want you to spend another day feeling as you do now! As with everything ts going to take time to heal but at least you have plenty of time! Good luck and keep your head up. Stay positive! Change is a huge part of life so just because things are the way they are now for you doesn't mean it will always be that way. Keep moving forward!


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